第12章

Mrs。Clemens，inalettertohersister，declared："Itisperfectlydiscouragingtotrytowriteyou。Thereissomuchtowriteaboutthatitmakesmefeelasifitwasnousetobegin。"

Itwasaperiodofcontinuoushonorandentertainment。IfMarkTwainhadbeenaliononhisfirstvisit，hewaslittlelessthanroyaltynow。HisroomsattheLanghamwerelikeacourt。MissSpaulding(nowMrs。JohnB。

Stanchfield)remembersthatRobertBrowning，Turgenieff，SirJohnMillais，LordHoughton，andSirCharlesDilke(thenattheheightofhisfame)wereamongthosethatcalledtopaytheirrespects。Inarecentlettershesays：

IrememberadelightfulluncheonthatCharlesKingsleygaveforMr。

Clemens；alsoaneveningwhenLordDunravenbroughtMr。Home，themedium，LordDunraventellingmanyoftheremarkablethingshehadseenMr。Homedo。IrememberIwantedsomuchtoseehimfloatoutofasevenoreightstorywindow，andenteranother，whichLordDunravensaidhehadseenhimdomanytimes。ButMr。Homehadbeenveryill，andsaidhispowerhadlefthim。MygreatregretwasthatwedidnotseeCarlyle，whowastoosadandillforvisits。

AmongotherstheymetLewisCarroll，theauthorofAliceinWonderland，andfoundhimsoshythatitwasalmostimpossibletogethimtosayawordonanysubject。

"Theshyestfull—grownman，exceptUncleRemus，Ievermet，"Clemensoncewrote。"Dr。MacDonaldandseveralotherlivelytalkerswerepresent，andthetalkwentbrisklyonforacoupleofhours，butCarrollsatstillallthewhile，exceptnowandthenwhenheansweredaquestion。"

AtadinnergivenbyGeorgeSmalleytheymetHerbertSpencer，andataluncheon—partyatLordHoughton’s，SirArthurHelps，thenaworld—widecelebrity。

LordElcho，alarge，vigorousman，satatsomedistancedownthetable。HewastalkingearnestlyaboutthetownofGodalming。Itwasadeep，flowing，andinarticulaterumble，butIcaughttheGodalmingprettynearlyeverytimeitbrokefreeoftherumbling，andasallthestrengthwasonthefirstendoftheword，itstartledmeeverytime，becauseitsoundedsolikeswearing。InthemiddleoftheluncheonLadyHoughtonrose，remarkedtotheguestsonherrightandonherleft，inamatter—of—factway，"Excuseme，I

haveanengagement，"andwithoutfurtherceremony，shewentofftomeetit。ThiswouldhavebeendoubtfuletiquetteinAmerica。LordHoughtontoldanumberofdelightfulstories。HetoldtheminFrench，andIlostnothingofthembutthenubs。

LittleSusyandherfatherthrivedonLondonlife，butafteratimeitworeonMrs。Clemens。ShedelightedintheEnglishcordialityandculture，butthedemandswereheavy，thesocialformssometimestrying。

LifeinLondonwasinteresting，andinitswaycharming，butshedidnotenterintoitwithquiteherhusband’senthusiasmandheartiness。IntheendtheycanceledallLondonengagementsandquietlysetoutforScotland。OnthewaytheyrestedafewdaysinYork，avenerableplacesuchasMarkTwainalwayslovedtodescribe。InalettertoMrs。Langdonhewrote：

Forthepresentweshallremaininthisqueeroldwalledtown，withitscrooked，narrowlanes，thattellusoftheirolddaythatknewnowheeledvehicles；itsplaster—and—timberdwellings，withupperstoriesfaroverhangingthestreet，，andthusmarkingtheirdate，saythreehundredyearsago；thestatelycitywalls，thecastellatedgates，theivy—grown，foliage—sheltered，mostnobleandpicturesqueruinofSt。Mary’sAbbey，suggestingtheirdate，sayfivehundredyearsago，intheheartofCrusadingtimesandthegloryofEnglishchivalryandromance；thevastCathedralofYork，withitsworncarvingsandquaintlypicturedwindows，preachingofstillremoterdays；theoutlandishnamesofstreetsandcourtsandbywaysthatstandasarecordandamemorial，allthesecenturies，ofDanishdominionhereinstillearliertimes；thehinthereandthereofKingArthurandhisknightsandtheirbloodyfightswithSaxonoppressorsroundaboutthisoldcitymorethanthirteenhundredyearsgoneby；and，lastofall，themelancholyoldstonecoffinsandsculpturedinscriptions，avenerablearchandahoarytowerofstonethatstillremainandarekissedbythesunandcaressedbytheshadowseveryday，justasthesunandtheshadowshavekissedand，caressedthemeverylaggingdaysincetheRomanEmperor’ssoldiersplacedthemhereinthetimeswhenJesustheSonofMarywalkedthestreetsofNazarethayouth，withnomorenameorfamethantheYorkshireboywhoisloiteringdownthisstreetthismoment。

TheyreachedEdinburghattheendofJulyandsecludedthemselvesinVeitch’sfamilyhotelinGeorgeStreet，intendingtoseenoone。Butthisplanwasnotasuccess；thesocialstressofLondonhadbeentoomuchforMrs。Clemens，andshecollapsedimmediatelyaftertheirarrival。

ClemenswasunacquaintedinEdinburgh，butrememberedthatDr。JohnBrown，whohadwrittenRabandHisFriend，livedthere。Helearnedhisaddress，andthathewasstillapractisingphysician。Hewalkedaroundto23RutlandStreet，andmadehimselfknown。Dr。Browncameforthwith，andMrs。Clemensspeedilyrecoveredunderhisableandinspiringtreatment。

Theassociationdidnotendthere。FornearlyamonthDr。Brownwastheirdailycompanion，eitheratthehotel，orinhisownhome，oronprotracteddriveswhenhemadehisroundofvisits，takingthesenewfriendsalong。Dr。JohnwasbelovedbyeverybodyinEdinburgh，everybodyinScotland，forthatmatter，andhisstoryofRabhadwonhimafollowingthroughoutChristendom。Hewasanunpretentioussovereign。

Clemensoncewroteofhim：

Hiswasasweetandwinningface，asbeautifulafaceasIhaveeverknown。Reposeful，gentle，benignant；thefaceofasaintatpeacewithalltheworldandplacidlybeaminguponitthesunshineoflovethatfilledhisheart。

Hewasthefriendofalldogs，andofallpeople。Ithasbeentoldofhimthatonce，whendriving，hethrusthisheadsuddenlyoutofthecarriagewindow，thenresumedhisplacewithadisappointedlook。

"Whowasit？"askedhiscompanion。"Someoneyouknow？"

"No，"hesaid。"AdogIdon’tknow。"

HebecamethebooncompanionandplaymateoflittleSusy，thennotquiteayearandahalfold。HecalledherMegalopis，aGreekterm，suggestedbyhereyes；thosedeep，burningeyesthatseemedalwayssofulloflife’ssadderphilosophies，andimpendingtragedy。InacollectionofDr。Brown’slettershereferstothisperiod。Inoneplacehesays：

HadtheauthorofTheInnocentsAbroadnotcometoEdinburghatthattimeweinallhumanprobabilitymightneverhavemet，andwhatadeprivationthatwouldhavebeentomeduringthelastquarterofacentury！

Andinanotherplace：

IamattendingthewifeofMarkTwain。HisrealnameisClemens。

Sheisaquitelovelylittlewoman，modestandclever，andshehasagirlieeighteenmonthsold，herludicrousminiature——andsucheyes！

Thoseplaymates，thegooddoctorandMegalopis，rompedtogetherthroughthehotelroomswiththatcompleteabandonwhichfewgrownpersonscanassumeintheirplaywithchildren，andnotallchildrencanassumeintheirplaywithgrown—ups。Theyplayed"bear，"andthe"bear"(whichwasaverylittleone，solittlethatwhenitstoodupbehindthesofayoucouldjustgetaglimpseofyellowhair)wouldlieinwaitforhervictim，andspringoutandsurprisehimandthrowhimintofrenziesoffear。

Almosteverydaytheymadehisprofessionalroundswithhim。Healwayscarriedabasketofgrapesforhispatients。Hisguestsbroughtalongbookstoreadwhiletheywaited。Whenhestoppedforacallhewouldsay：

"EntertainyourselveswhileIgoinandreducethepopulation。"

Therewasmuchsight—seeingtodoinEdinburgh，andtheycouldnotquiteescapesocialaffairs。TherewereteasandluncheonsanddinnerswiththeDunfermlinesandtheAbercrombies，andtheMacDonalds，andwithothersofthosebraveclansthatnolongerslewoneanotheramongthegrimnortherncragsandglens，butwereassociableandentertaininglordsandladiesaseverthesouthlandcouldproduce。Theywereverygentlefolkindeed，andMrs。Clemens，infutureyears，foundherheartgoingbackoftenertoEdinburghthantoanyotherhavenofthosefirstwanderings。August24thshewrotetohersister：

WeleaveEdinburghto—morrowwithsincereregret；wehavehadsuchadelightfulstayhere——wedosoregretleavingDr。Brownandhissister，thinkingthatweshallprobablyneverseethemagain[asindeedtheyneverdid]。

TheyspentadayortwoatGlasgowandsailedforIreland，wheretheyputinafortnight，andearlyinSeptemberwerebackinEnglandagain，atChester，thatqueeroldcitywhere；fromatoweronthewall，CharlesI。

readthestoryofhisdoom。ReginaldCholmondeleyhadinvitedthemtovisithiscountryseat，beautifulCondoverHall，nearShrewsbury，andinthatlovelyretreattheyspentsomehappy，restfuldays。ThentheywereinthewhirlofLondononcemore，butescapedforafortnighttoParis，sight—seeingandmakingpurchasesforthenewhome。

Mrs。ClemenswasquitereadytoreturntoAmerica，bythistime。

Iamblueandcrossandhomesick[shewrote]。IsupposewhatmakesmefeelthelatterisbecausewearecontemplatingtostayinLondonanothermonth。TherehasnotonesheetofMr。Clemens’sproofcomeyet，andifhegoeshomebeforethebookispublishedherehewilllosehiscopyright。AndthenhisfriendsfeelthatitwillbebetterforhimtolectureinLondonbeforehisbookispublished，notonlythatitwillgivehimalargerbutamoreenviablereputation。Iwouldnothesitateonemomentifitweresimplyforthemoneythathiscopyrightwillbringhim，butifhisreputationwillbebetterforhisstayingandlecturing，ofcourseheoughttostay……Thetruthis，Ican’tbearthethoughtofpostponinggoinghome。

ItisrathergratifyingtofindOliviaClemenshuman，likethat，nowandthen。Otherwise，ongeneraltestimony，onemightwellbetemptedtoregardherasaltogetherofanotherraceandkind。

XCI

ALONDONLECTURE

Clemensconcludedtohastenthehomewardjourney，buttolectureafewnightsinLondonbeforestarting。Hewouldthenaccompanyhislittlefamilyhome，andreturnatoncetocontinuethelectureseriesandprotecthiscopyright。Thisplanwascarriedout。InacommunicationtotheStandard，October7th，hesaid：

SIR，——InviewoftheprevailingfrenzyconcerningtheSandwichIslands，andtheinflameddesireofthepublictoacquireinformationconcerningthem，IhavethoughtitwelltotarryyetanotherweekinEnglandanddeliveralectureuponthisabsorbingsubject。Andlestitshouldbethoughtunbecominginme，astranger，tocometothepublicrescueatsuchatime，insteadofleavingtoablerhandsamatterofsomuchmoment，IdesiretoexplainthatIdoitwiththebestmotivesandthemosthonorableintentions。IdoitbecauseIamconvincedthatnoonecanallaythisunwholesomeexcitementaseffectuallyasIcan，andtoallayit，andallayitasquicklyaspossible，issurelyonethingthatisabsolutelynecessaryatthisjuncture。IfeelandknowthatIamequaltothistask，forIcanallayanykindofanexcitementbylecturinguponit。Ihavesavedmanycommunitiesinthisway。I

havealwaysbeenabletoparalyzethepublicinterestinanytopicthatIchosetotakeholdofandelucidatewithallmystrength。

HopingthatthisexplanationwillshowthatifIamseemingtointrudeIamatleastdoingitfromahighimpulse，Iam，sir，yourobedientservant，MARKTWAIN。

Adaylaterthefollowingannouncementappeared：

QUEEN’SCONCERTROOMS，HANOVERSQUARE。

MR。GEORGEDOLBYbegstoannouncethatMR。MARKTWAIN

WILLDELIVERA

LECTURE

OFA

HUMOROUSCHARACTER，ASABOVE，ON

MONDAYEVENINGNEXT，OCTOBER13th，1873，ANDREPEATITINTHESAMEPLACE，ON

TUESDAYEVENING，OCTOBER14th，WEDNESDAY""15th，THURSDAY""16th，FRIDAY""17th，AtEighto’Clock，AND

SATURDAYAFTERNOON，OCTOBER18th，AtThreeo’Clock。

SUBJECT：

OurFellowSavagesoftheSandwichIslands。"

AsMr。TWAINhasspentseveralmonthsintheseIslands，andiswellacquaintedwithhissubject，theLecturemaybeexpectedtofurnishmatterofinterest。

STALLS，5s。UNRESERVEDSEATS，3s。

TheprospectofalecturefromMarkTwaininterestedtheLondonpublic。

Thosewhohadnotseenhimwerewillingtopayevenforthatprivilege。

Thepaperswereencouraging；Punchsoundedacharacteristicnote：

WELCOMETOALECTURER

"’TistimeweTwaindidshowourselves。"’TwassaidByCaesar，whenoneMarkhadlosthishead：

ByMark，whosehead’squitebright，’tissaidagain：

Therefore，"gowithme，friends，toblessthisTwain。"

—Punch。

DolbyhadmanagedtheDickenslectures，andheprovedhissoundbusinessjudgmentandexperiencebytakingthelargestavailablehallinLondonforMarkTwain。

OntheeveningofOctober13th，inthespaciousQueen’sConcertRooms，HanoverSquare，MarkTwaindeliveredhisfirstpublicaddressinEngland。

Thesubjectwas"OurFellowSavagesoftheSandwichIslands，"theoldlecturewithwhichhehadmadehisfirstgreatsuccesses。Hewasnotintroduced。Heappearedontheplatformineveningdress，assumingthecharacterofamanagerannouncingadisappointment。

Mr。Clemens，hesaid，hadfullyexpectedtobepresent。Hepausedandloudmurmursarosefromtheaudience。Heliftedhishandandtheysubsided。Thenheadded，"IamhappytosaythatMarkTwainispresent，andwillnowgivehislecture。"Whereupontheaudienceroareditsapproval。

Itwouldbehardlyanexaggerationtosaythathistriumphthatweekwasaregalone。ForfivesuccessivenightsandaSaturdaymatineethecultureandfashionofLondonthrongedtohearhimdiscourseoftheir"fellowsavages。"Itwasalectureeventwhollywithoutprecedent。ThelecturesofArtemusWard，——["Artemusthedelicious，"asCharlesReadecalledhim，cametoLondoninJune，1866，andgavehis"piece"inEgyptianHall。Therefined，delicate，intellectualcountenance，thesweet，gave，mouth，fromwhichonemighthaveexpectedphilosophicallecturesretainedtheirseriousnesswhilelistenerswereconvulsedwithlaughter。Therewassomethingmagicalaboutit。Everysentencewasasurprise。HeplayedonhisaudienceasLisztdidonapianomosteasilywhenmosteffectively。WhocaneverforgethisattempttostophisItalianpianist—"acountinhisowncountry，butnotmuchaccountinthis"—whowentonplayingloudlywhilehewastryingtotellusan"affectingincident"thatoccurrednearasmallclumpoftreesshownonhispanoramaoftheFarWest。Themusicstormedon—wecouldseeonlylipsandarmspatheticallymovingtillthepianosuddenlyceased，andweheard—itwasallweheard"and，shefaintedinReginald’sarms。"Histrickshavebeenattemptedinmanytheaters，butArtemusWardwasinimitable。Andallthetimethemanwasdying。(MoneureD。Conway，Autobiography。)]——whohadquicklybecomeafavoriteinLondon，hadpreparedthepublicforAmericanplatformhumor，whilethedailydoingsofthisnewAmericanproduct，asreportedbythepress，hadarousedinterest，orcuriosity，toahighpitch。Onnooccasioninhisowncountryhadhewonsuchacompletetriumph。Thepapersforaweekdevotedcolumnsofspacetoappreciationandeditorialcomment。TheDailyNewsofOctober17thpublishedacolumn—and—a—halfeditorialonAmericanhumor，withMarkTwain’spublicappearanceasthegeneraltext。

TheTimesreferredtothecontinuedpopularityofthelectures：

Theycan’tbesaidtohavemorethanwhettedthepublicappetite，ifwearetotakethefactwhichhasbeenimpartedtous，thattheholdingcapacityoftheHanoverSquareRoomshasbeeninadequatetothedemandmadeuponiteverynightbyTwain’slecturing，asacriterion。ThelastlectureofthistoobriefcoursewasdeliveredyesterdaybeforeanaudiencewhichcrammedtodiscomforteverypartoftheprincipalapartmentoftheHanoverSquareRooms……

Atthecloseofyesterday’slectureMarkTwainwassoloudlyapplaudedthathereturnedtothestage，and，assoonastheaudiencegavehimachanceofbeingheard，hesaid，withmuchapparentemotion：

"LadiesandGentlemen，——Iwon’tkeepyouonesinglemomentinthissuffocatingatmosphere。IsimplywishtosaythatthisisthelastlectureIshallhavethehonortodeliverinLondonuntilIreturnfromAmerica，fourweeksfromnow。Ionlywishtosay(hereMr。

Clemensfalteredasiftoomuchaffectedtoproceed)Iamverygrateful。Idonotwishtoappearpathetic，butitissomethingmagnificentforastrangertocometothemetropolisoftheworldandbereceivedsohandsomelyasIhavebeen。Isimplythankyou。"

TheSaturdayReviewdevotedapage，andOnceaWeek，undertheheadof"Crackingjokes，"gavethreepages，topraiseoftheliteraryandlecturemethodsofthenewAmericanhumorist。Withthepromiseofspeedyreturn，heleftLondon，gavethelectureonceinLiverpool，andwithhisparty(October21st)setsailforhome。

Inmid—AtlanticherememberedDr。Brown，andwrotehim：

Wehaveplowedalongwayoverthesea，andthere’stwenty—twohundredmilesofrestlesswaterbetweenusnow，besidestherailwaystretch。Andyetyouaresopresentwithus，soclosetous，thataspanandawhisperwouldbridgethedistance。

Soitwouldseemthatofallthemanymemoriesofthateventfulhalf—

year，thatofDr。Brownwasthemostpresent，themosttender。

XCII

FURTHERLONDONLECTURETRIUMPHS

OrionClemensrecordsthathemet"SamandLivy"ontheirarrivalfromEngland，November2d，andthatthepresidentoftheMercantileLibraryAssociationsentuphiscard"fourtimes，"inthehopeofgettingachancetoproposealectureengagement——anincidentwhichimpressedOriondeeplyinitsevidenceofhisbrother’stoweringimportance。Orionhimselfwasbythistimeengagedinvariousprojects。Hewasinventingaflying—machine，foronething，writingaJulesVernestory，readingproofonaNewYorkdaily，andcontemplatingthelecturefield。ThisgreatblazeofinternationalappreciationwhichhadcometothelittleboywhousedtosettypeforhiminHannibal，andwashuptheformsandcryoverthedirtyproof，madehimgasp。

TheywenttoseeBoothinHamlet[hesays]，andBoothsentforSamtocomebehindthescenes，andwhenSamproposedtoaddaparttoHamlet，thepartofabystanderwhomakeshumorousmoderncommentonthesituationsintheplay，Boothlaughedimmoderately。

ProposingasacrilegelikethattoBooth！Towhatheightshadthisprinter—pilot，miner—brothernotattained！——[ThisideaofintroducinganewcharacterinHamletwasreallyattemptedlaterbyMarkTwain，withtheconnivanceofJoeGoodman[ofallmen]，sadtorelate。SofarasisknownitistheonestainonGoodman’sliteraryrecord。]

ClemensreturnedimmediatelytoEngland——thefollowingSaturday，infact——andwasbackinLondonlecturingagainafterbarelyamonth’sabsence。

Hegavethe"RoughingIt"address，thistimeunderthetitleof"RoughingItontheSilverFrontier，"andifhisaudienceswereanylessenthusiastic，orhishouseslesscrowdedthanbefore，thenewspapersofthatdayhaveleftnorecordofit。Itwastheheightoftheseasonnow，andbeingfreetodoso，hethrewhimselfintothewhirlofit，andfortwomonths，beyonddoubt，wasthemosttalked—offigureinLondon。TheAthenaeumClubmadehimavisitingmember(anhonorconsiderednexttoknighthood)；Punchquotedhim；societiesbanquetedhim；hisapartments，asbefore；werebesiegedbycallers。Afternoonsonewaslikelytofindhimin"Poets’Corner"oftheLanghamsmoking—room，withagroupofLondonandAmericanauthors——Reade，Collins，Miller，andtheothers——

franklyriotinginhisboldfancies。CharlesWarrenStoddardwasinLondonatthetime，andactedashissecretary。Stoddardwasagentlepoet，adelightfulfellow，andClemenswasveryfondofhim。HisonlycomplaintofStoddardwasthathedidnotlaughenoughathishumorousyarns。Clemensoncesaid：

"DolbyandIusedtocomeinafterthelecture，orperhapsafterbeingouttosomedinner，andwelikedtositdownandtalkitoverandtellyarns，andweexpectedStoddardtolaughatthem，butStoddardwouldliethereonthecouchandsnore。Otherwise，asasecretary，hewasperfect。"

ThegreatTichbornetrialwasinprogressthen，andthespectacleofanilliterateimpostortryingtoestablishhisclaimastherightfulheirtoagreatestatewashighlydivertingtoMarkTwain。——[InaletterofthisperiodhespeaksofhavingattendedoneoftheClaimant’s"Evenings。"]——

Hewantedtopreservetheevidenceasfutureliterarymaterial，andStoddarddayafterdaypatientlycollectedthenewsreportsandneatlypastedthemintoscrap—books，wheretheystillrest，acompleterecordofthatnowforgottenfarce。TheTichbornetrialrecalledtoMarkTwaintheclaimantintheLamptonfamily，whofromtimetotimewrotehimlongletters，urginghimtojoinintheefforttoestablishhisrightstotheearldomofDurham。ThisAmericanclaimantwasadistantcousin，whohad"somehowgottenholdof，orhadfabricatedafullsetofdocuments。"

ColonelHenryWatterson，justquoted(alsoaLamptonconnection)，adds：

DuringtheTichbornetrialMarkandIwereinLondon，andonedayhesaidtome："IhaveinvestigatedthisDurhambusinessdownattheHerald’soffice。Thereisnothingtoit。TheLamptonspassedoutoftheearldomofDurhamahundredyearsago。Therewereneveranyestates；thetitlelapsed；thepresentearldomisanewcreation，notinthesamefamilyatall。ButI’lltellyouwhat：ifyou’llputup$500，I’llputup$500more；we’llbringourchapoverhereandsethiminasclaimant，and，mywordforit，Kenealy’sfatboywon’tbeamarkertohim。"

ItwasacharacteristicMarkTwainproject，oneofthesortheneverearnedoutinreality，butlovedtofollowinfancy，andwiththepensometimes。The"RightfulEarlofDurham"continuedtosendlettersforalongtimeafterthat(someofthemstillexist)，buthedidnotestablishhisclaim。NoonebutMarkTwaineverreallygotanythingoutofit。

LiketheTennesseeland，itfurnishedmaterialbyandbyforabook。

ColonelWattersongoesontosaythatClemenswasonlyjokingabouthavinglookedupthematterinthepeerage；thathehadn’treallylookeditupatall，andthattheearldomliesstillintheLamptonfamily。

AnotherofClemens’sfriendsinLondonatthistimewasPrenticeMulford，ofCalifornia。InlateryearsMulfordacquiredawidereputationforhisoptimisticandpracticalpsychologies。Throughthemheliftedhimselfoutofthesloughofdespond，andhesoughttoextendahelpinghandtoothers。His"WhiteCrossLibrary"hadawidereadingandawideinfluence；perhapshastothisday。Butin1873Mulfordhadnotfoundthetangibilityofthought，thesecretofstrength；hewasonlyfindingit，maybe，inhisfrankacknowledgmentofshortcoming：

Now，Mark，Iamdown—verymuchdownatpresent；youareup—whereyoudeservetobe。Ican’taskthisonthescoreofanypastfavors，fortherehavebeennone。Ihavenotalwaysspokenofyouintermsofextravagantpraise；havesometimescriticizedyou，whichwasdue，Isuppose，inparttoanenviousspirit。Iamsimplyhuman。Somepeopleinthesameprofessionsaytheyentertainnojealousyofthosemoresuccessful。Ican’t。Theyaredivine；Iamnot。

ItwasonlythathewishedClemenstospeakawordforhimtoRoutledge，togethimahearingforhiswork。Headds：

Ishallbeupmyselfsomeday，althoughmylineisfarapartfromyours。WhetheryoucandoanythingthatIaskofyouornot，I

shallbehappythen，asIwouldbenow，todoyouanyjustandrightservice……PerhapsIhavemistakenmyvocation。Certainly，ifI

wasbackwithmyrockerontheTuolumne，I’dmakeitrattlelivelierthaneverIdidbefore。IhaveoccasionallythoughtofLondonBridge，buttheThamesisnowsod———dcoldanddirty，andbesidesI

canswim，andanyattemptatdrowningwould，throughthemereinstinctofself—preservation，onlyresultinmyswimmingashoreandruiningmybestclothes；whereforeIshouldbeworseoffthanever。

OfcourseMarkTwaingrantedthefavorMulfordasked，andagreatdealmore，nodoubt，forthatwashisway。Mulfordcameup，ashehadprophesied，buttheseainduetimeclaimedhim，thoughnotinthewayhehadcontemplated。YearsafterhewasonedayfounddriftingofftheshoresofLongIslandinanopenboat，dead。

ClemensmadeanumberofnotabledinnerspeechesduringthissecondLondonlectureperiod。Hisresponsetothetoastofthe"Ladies，"

deliveredattheannualdinneroftheScottishCorporationofLondon，wasthesensationaleventoftheevening。

HewasobligedtodeclineaninvitationtotheLordMayor’sdinner，whereuponhisLordshipwrotetourgehimtobepresentatleastatthefinale，whenthewelcomewouldbe"nonethelesshearty，"andbespokehisattendanceforanyfuturedinners。

ClemenslecturedsteadilyattheHanoverSquareRoomsduringthetwomonthsofhisstayinLondon，anditwasonlytowardtheendofthisastonishingengagementthattheaudiencebegantoshowanysignofdiminishing。EarlyinJanuaryhewrotetoTwichell：

IamnotgoingtotheprovincesbecauseIcannotgethallsthatarelargeenough。IalwaysfeltcrampedintheHanoverSquareRooms，butIfindthateverybodyherespeakswithaweandrespectofthatprodigioushallandwondersthatIcouldfillitsolong。

Iamhopingtobebackintwentydays，butIhavesomuchtogohometoandenjoywithajubilantjoythatithardlyseemspossiblethatitcancometopassinsouncertainaworldasthis。

InthesameletterhespeaksofattendinganexhibitionofLandseer’spaintingsattheRoyalAcademy：

Ah，theyarewonderfullybeautiful！Therearesuchrichmoonlightsanddusksinthe"Challenge"andthe"Combat，"andinthatlongflightofbirdsacrossalakeinthesubduedflushofsunset(orsunrise，fornomancanevertellt’otherfromwhichinapicture，exceptithasthefilmymorningmistbreathingitselfupfromthewater)，andthereissuchagraveanalyticalprofundityinthefaceoftheconnoisseurs；andsuchpathosinthepictureofafawnsucklingitsdeadmotheronasnowywaste，withonlythebloodinthefootprintstohintthatsheisnotasleep。Andthewaythathemakesanimals’fleshandblood，insomuchthatiftheroomweredarkenedeversolittle，andamotionlesslivinganimalplacedbesidethepaintedone，nomancouldtellwhichwaswhich。

Iinterruptedmyselfhere，todropalinetoShirleyBrooksandsuggestacartoonforPunch。Itwasthis：inoneoftheAcademysaloons(inasuitewherethesepicturesare)afinebustofLandseerstandsonapedestalinthecenteroftheroom。IsuggestedthatsomeofLandseer’sbestknownanimalsberepresentedashavingcomedownoutoftheirframesinthemoonlightandgroupedthemselvesaboutthebustinmourningattitudes。

HesailedJanuary13(1874。)，onthePaythia，andtwoweekslaterwasathome，whereallwasgoingwell。TheGildedAgehadbeenissuedadayortwobeforeChristmas，andwasalreadyinitsthirdedition。BytheendofJanuary26，000copieshadbeensold，asalethathadincreasedto40，000amonthlater。Thenewhousewasprogressing，thoughitwasbynomeansfinished。Mrs。Clemenswasingoodhealth。LittleSusywasfullofsuchAmericanactivitiesastoearnthenameof"TheModoc。"Thepromiseoftheyearwasbright。

XCIII

THEREALCOLONELSELLERS—GOLDENDAYS

Thereareboundtobevexations，fliesintheointment，aswesay。ItwasWarnerwhoconferredthenameofEscholSellersonthechieffigureofthecollaboratednovel。Warnerhadknownitasthenameofanobscureperson，orperhapshehadonlyheardofit。Atallevents，itseemedagoodoneforthecharacterandhadbeenadopted。Butbehold，thebookhadbeenissuedbutalittlewhilewhenthererose"outofthevastydeeps"agenuineEscholSellers，whowasaveryrespectableperson。Hewasastout，prosperous—lookingman，grayandaboutfifty—fiveyearsold。

HecameintotheAmericanPublishingCompanyofficesandaskedpermissiontolookatthebook。Mr。Blisswasoutatthemoment，butpresentlyarrived。Thevisitorroseandintroducedhimself。

"MynameisEscholSellers，"hesaid。"Youhaveuseditinoneofyourpublications。Ithasbroughtuponmealotofridicule。Mypeoplewishmetosueyoufor$10，000damages。"

Hehaddocumentstoprovehisidentity，andtherewasonlyonethingtobedone；hemustbesatisfied。Blissagreedtorecallasmanyoftheoffendingvolumesaspossibleandchangethenameontheplates。Hecontactedtheauthors，andthenameBeriahwassubstitutedfortheoffendingEschol。ItturnedoutthattherealSellersfamilywasalargeone，andthatthegivennameEscholwasnotuncommoninitsseveralbranches。ThisparticularEscholSellers，curiouslyenough，wasaninventorandapromoter，thoughofamuchmoresubstantialsortthanhisfictionnamesake。Hewasalsoapainterofconsiderablemerit，awriterandanantiquarian。Hewassaidtohavebeenagrandsonofthefamouspainter，RembrandtPeale。

ClemensvowedthathewouldnotlectureinAmericathatwinter。TheirrepressibleRedpathbesiegedhimasusual，andattheendofJanuaryClemenstelegraphedhim，ashethought，finally。Followingitwithaletterofexplanation，headded：

"Isaidtoher，’Thereisn’tmoneyenoughinAmericatohiremetoleaveyouforoneday。’"

ButRedpathwasapersistentdevil。HeusedargumentsandheldoutinducementswhichevenMrs。Clemensthoughtshouldnotberesisted，andClemensyieldedfromtimetotime，andgavealecturehereandthereduringFebruary。Finally，onthe3dofMarch(187q。)hetelegraphedhistormentor：

"Whydon’tyoucongratulateme？IneverexpecttostandonalectureplatformagainafterThursdaynight。"

HowellstellsdelightfullyofavisitwhichheandAldrichpaidtoHartfordjustatthisperiod。AldrichwenttovisitClemensandHowellstovisitCharlesDudleyWarner，ClemenscomingasfarasSpringfieldtowelcomethem。

Inthegood—fellowshipofthatcordialneighborhoodwehadtwosuchdaysastheagingsunnolongershinesoninhisround。TherewasconstantrunninginandoutoffriendlyhouseswherethelivelyhostsandguestscalledoneanotherbytheirChristiannamesornicknames，andnosuchvainceremonyasknockingorringingatdoors。Clemenswasthenbuildingthestatelymansioninwhichhesatisfiedhisloveofmagnificenceasifithadbeenanothersealskincoat，andhewasatthecrestoftheprosperitywhichenabledhimtohumoreverywhimorextravagance。

HowellstellshowClemensdilatedontheadvantagesofsubscriptionsaleovertheusualmethodsofpublication，andurgedthetwoBostonauthorstopreparesomethingwhichcanvasserscouldhandle。

"Why，anyothermeansofbringingoutabookisprivatelyprintingit，"

hedeclared，andaddedthathissubscriptionbooksinBliss’shandssoldrightalong，"justliketheBible。"

OnthewaybacktoBostonHowellsandAldrichplannedasubscriptionbookwhichwouldsellstraightalong，liketheBible。Itwastobecalled"TwelveMemorableMurders。"TheyhaddreamedtwoorthreefortunesbythetimetheyhadreachedBoston，buttheprojectendedthere。

"Weneverkilledasinglesoul，"Howellssaidoncetothewriterofthismemoir。

ClemenswasalwaysurgingHowellstovisithimafterthat。Heofferedallsortsofinducements。

Youwillfindusthemostreasonablepeopleintheworld。Wehadthoughtofprecipitatinguponyou，GeorgeWarnerandhiswifeoneday，Twichellandhisjewelofawifeanotherday，andCharlesPerkinsandwifeanother。Onlythose——simplymembersofourfamilytheyare。ButI’llclosethedooragainstthemall，whichwill"fix"allofthelotexceptTwichell，whowillnomorehesitatetoclimbinthebackwindowthannothing。

Andyoushallgotobedwhenyouplease，getupwhenyouplease，talkwhenyouplease，readwhenyouplease。

AlittlelaterhewasurgingHowellsorAldrich，orbothofthem；tocometoHartfordtolive。

Mr。Hall，wholivesinthehousenexttoMrs。Stowe’s(justwherewedriveintogotoournewhouse)，willsellfor$16，000or$17，000。

YoucandoyourworkjustaswellhereasinCambridge，can’tyou？

Come！Willoneofyouboysbuythathouse？Now，sayyes。

Certainlythoseweregolden，blesseddays，andperhaps，asHowellssays，thesundoesnotshineontheirlikeanymore——notinHartford，atleast，fortheoldgroupthatmadethemnolongerassemblesthere。Hartfordaboutthistimebecameasortofshrineforallliteraryvisitors，andforothernotablesaswell，whetherofAmericaorfromoverseas。Itwasthehalf—wayplacebetweenBostonandNewYork，andpilgrimsgoingineitherdirectionrestedthere。ItissaidthattravelersarrivinginAmerica，wereapttoremembertwothingstheywishedtosee：NiagaraFallsandMarkTwain。ButtheFallshadnosuchrecentadvertisingadvantageasthatspectacularsuccessinLondon。VisitorswereapttobegininHartford。

Howellswentwithconsiderablefrequencyafterthat，orratherwithregularity，twiceayear，oroftener，andhiscomingwasalwayshailedwithgreatrejoicing。Theyvisitedandatearoundatoneplaceandanotheramongthatpleasantcircleoffriends。Buttheywerehappiestafterwardtogether，Clemenssmokingcontinually，"soothinghistensenerveswithamildhotScotch，"saysHowells，"whilewebothtalked，andtalked，andtaskedofeverythingintheheavensandontheearth，andthewatersundertheearth。AftertwodaysofthistalkIwouldcomeawayhollow，realizingmyselfbestintheimageofoneofthoselocust—shellswhichyoufindstickingtothebarkoftreesattheendofsummer。"

SometimesClemenstoldthestoryofhisearlylife，"theinexhaustible，thefairy，theArabianNightsstory，whichIcouldnevertireofevenwhenitbegantobetoldoveragain。"

XCIV

BEGINNING"TOMSAWYER"

TheClemenshouseholdwenttoQuarryFarminApril，leavingthenewhouseoncemoreinthehandsofthearchitectandbuilders。Itwascostingavastsumofmoney，andtherewasafinancialstressuponland。Mrs。

Clemens，alwaysprudent，becamealittleuneasyattimes，thoughwithoutwarrantinthosedays，forherbusinessstatementshowedthatherholdingswereonlyalittlelessthanaquarterofamillioninherownright，whileherhusband’sbooksandlectureshadbeenhighlyremunerative，andwouldbemoreso。Theywerejustifiedinlivinginample，evenluxuriouscomfort，andhowfreefromfinancialworriestheycouldhavelivedfortherestoftheirdays！

Clemens，realizinghishappiness，wroteDr。Brown：

IndeedIamthankfulforthewifeyandthechild，andifthereisoneindividualcreatureonallthisfootstoolwhoismorethoroughlyanduniformlyand，unceasinglyhappythanIamIdefytheworldtoproducehimandprovehim。Inmyopinionhedon’texist。Iwasamightyrough，coarse，unpromisingsubjectwhenLivytookchargeofme，fouryearsago，andImaystillbetotherestoftheworld，butnottoher。Shehasmadeaverycreditablejobofme。

Trulyfortunenotonlysmiled，butlaughed。Everymailbroughtgreatbundlesoflettersthatsanghispraises。RobertWatt，whohadtranslatedhisbooksintoDanish，wroteoftheirwidepopularityamonghispeople。MadameBlanc(Th。Bentzon)，whoasearlyas1872hadtranslatedTheJumpingFrogintoFrench，andpublishedit，withextendedcommentontheauthorandhiswork，inthe’Revuedesdeuxmondes’，wassaidtobepreparingareviewof’TheGildedAge’。Alltheworldseemedreadytodohimhonor。

Ofcourse，onemustalwayspaytheprice，usuallyavexatiousone。Boresstoppedhimonthestreettorepeatancientandwitlessstories。

Inventedanecdotes，someofthemexasperatingones，wenttheroundsofthepress。Impostorsindistantlocalitiespersonatedhim，orclaimedtobenearrelatives，andobtainedfavors，sometimesmoney，inhisname。

Trivialletters，seekingbenefactionsofeverykind，tookthesavorfromhisdailymail。Lettersfromliteraryaspirantsweresonumerousthatheprepareda"form"letterofreply：

DEARSIRORMADAM，——Experiencehasnottaughtmeverymuch，stillithastaughtmethatitisnotwisetocriticizeapieceofliterature，excepttoanenemyofthepersonwhowroteit；thenifyoupraiseitthatenemyadmires——youforyourhonestmanliness，andifyoudispraiseitheadmiresyouforyoursoundjudgment。

Yourstruly，S。L。C。

EvenOrion，nowinKeokukonachickenfarm，pursuedhimwithmanuscriptsandproposalsofschemes。ClemenshadboughtthisfarmforOrion，whohadcountedonlargeandquickreturns，butwasplanningnewenterprisesbeforethefirsteggswerehatched。OrionClemenswasasdelightfulacharacteraswasevercreatedinfiction，buthemusthavebeenatrialnowandthentoMarkTwain。Wemaygathersomethingofthisfromaletterwrittenbythelattertohismotherandsisteratthisperiod：

Ican’t"encourage"Orion。Nobodycandothatconscientiously，forthereasonthatbeforeone’sletterhastimetoreachhimheisoffonsomenewwild—goosechase。Wouldyouencourageinliteratureamanwhotheolderhegrowstheworsehewrites？

Icannotencouragehimtotrytheministry，becausehewouldchangehisreligionsofastthathewouldhavetokeepatravelingagentunderwagestogoaheadofhimtoengagepulpitsandboardforhim。

Icannotconscientiouslyencouragehimtodoanythingbutpotteraroundhislittlefarmandputinhisoddhourscontrivingnewandimpossibleprojectsattherateof365ayearwhichishiscustomaryaverage。HesayshedidwellinHannibal！Nowthereisamanwhooughttobeentirelysatisfiedwiththegrandeurs，emoluments，andactivitiesofahenfarm。

IfyouaskmetopityOrionIcandothat。Icandoiteverydayandalldaylong。Butonecan’t"encourage"quicksilver；becausetheinstantyouputyourfingeronit，itisn’tthere。No，Iamsayingtoomuch。Hedoessticktohisliteraryandlegalaspirations，andhenaturallywouldelecttheverytwothingswhichheiswhollyandpreposterouslyunfittedfor。IfIeverbecomeable，ImeantoputOriononaregularpensionwithoutrevealingthefactthatitisapension。

Hedidpresentlyallowthepension，aliberalone，whichcontinueduntilneitherOrionClemensnorhiswifehadfurtherearthlyneedofit。

MarkTwainforsometimehadcontemplatedoneofthebooksthatwilllongestpreservehismemory，’TheAdventuresofTomSawyer’。Thesuccessof’RoughingIt’naturallymadehimcastaboutforotherautobiographicalmaterial，andherememberedthosedaysalongtheriver—frontinHannibal——hisskylarkingwithTomBlankenship，theBowenboys，JohnBriggs，andtherest。Hehadrecognizedthesethingsasmaterial——invitingmaterialitwas——andnowinthecoolluxuryofQuarryFarmhesethimselftospinthefabricofyouth。

Hefoundsummer—timealwayshisbestperiodforliteraryeffort，andonahillsidejustbytheoldquarry，Mrs。Cranehadbuiltforhimthatspringastudy——alittleroomofwindows，somewhatsuggestiveofapilot—house——

overlookingthelongsweepofgrassandthedreamlikecitybelow。Vineswereplantedthatinthecourseoftimewouldcoverandembowerit；therewasatinyfireplaceforchillydays。ToTwichell，ofhisnewretreat，Clemenswrote：

Itisthelovelieststudyyoueversaw。Itisoctagonal，withapeakedroof，eachfacefilledwithaspaciouswindow，anditsitsperchedincompleteisolationonthetopofanelevationthatcommandsleaguesofvalleyandcityandretreatingrangesofdistantbluehills。Itisacozynestandjustroominitforasofa，table，andthreeorfourchairs，andwhenthestormssweepdowntheremotevalleyandthelightningflashesbehindthehillsbeyond，andtherainbeatsupontheroofovermyhead，imaginetheluxuryofit。

Heworkedsteadilytherethatsummer。Hewouldgoupmornings，afterbreakfast，remaininguntilnearlydinner—time，sayuntilfiveo’clockorafter，foritwasnothishabittoeatluncheon。Othermembersofthefamilydidnotventureneartheplace，andifhewasurgentlywantedtheyblewahorn。Eacheveninghebroughtdownhisday’sperformancetoreadtotheassembledfamily。Hefelttheneedofaudienceandapproval。

Usuallyheearnedthelatter，butnotalways。Once，whenforadayheputasideothermatterstorecordayoungundertaker’slove—affair，andbroughtdowntheresultintheevening，fairlybubblingwiththejoyofit，hemetwithasurprise。Thetalewasaghastlyburlesque，itshumorofthemostdisheartening，unsavorysort。Noonespokeduringthereading，nobodylaughed：Theairwasthickwithdisapproval。Hisvoicelaggedandfalteredtowardtheend。Whenhefinishedtherewasheavysilence。Mrs。Clemenswastheonlyonewhocouldspeak：

"Youth，let’swalkalittle，"shesaid。

The"Undertaker’sLoveStory"isstillamongthemanuscriptsofthatperiod，butitisunlikelythatitwilleverseethelightofprint。

——[Thistalebearsnorelationto"TheUndertaker’sStory"inSketchesNewandOld。]

TheTomSawyertaleprogressedsteadilyandsatisfactorily。ClemenswroteDr。Brown：

Ihavebeenwritingfiftypagesofmanuscriptaday，onanaverage，forsometimenow，onabook(astory)，andconsequentlyhavebeensowrappedupinit，anddeadtoeverythingelse，thatIhavefallenmightyshortinletter—writing……

OnhotdaysIspreadthestudywideopen，anchormypapersdownwithbrickbats，andwriteinthemidstofthehurricane，clothedinthesamethinlinenwemakeshirtsof。

Heinclosessomephotographsinthisletter。

Thegroup[hesays]representsthevine—cladcarriagewayinfrontofthefarm—house。OntheleftisMegalopissittinginthelapofherGermannurse—maid。Iamsittingbehindthem。Mrs。Craneisinthecenter。Mr。Cranenexttoher。ThenMrs。Clemensandthenewbaby。

HerIrishnursestandsatherback。Thencomesthetablewaitress，ayoungnegrogirl，bornfree。NexttoherisAuntieCord(afragmentofwhosehistoryIhavejustsenttoamagazine)。Sheisthecook；wasinslaverymorethanfortyyears；andtheself—

satisfiedwench，thelastofthegroup，isthelittlebaby’sAmericannurse—maid。Inthemiddledistancemymother—in—law’scoachman(uponerrand)hastakenapositionunsolicitedtohelpoutthepicture。No，thatisnottrue。Hewaswaitingthereaminuteortwobeforethephotographercame。Intheextremebackground，underthearchway，youglimpsemystudy。

The"newbaby，""Bay，"astheycametocallher，wasanotherlittledaughter，borninJune，ahappy，healthyadditiontothehousehold。

InaletterwrittentoTwichellwegetasweetsummerpictureofthisperiod，particularlyoflittlesunny—haired，two—year—oldSusy。

ThereisnothingselfishabouttheModoc。Sheisfascinatedwiththenewbaby。TheModocripsandtearsaroundoutdoorsmostofthetime，andconsequentlyisashardasapineknotandasbrownasanIndian。Sheisbosomfriendtoallthechickens，ducks，turkeys，andguinea—hensontheplace。Yesterday，asshemarchedalongthewindingpaththatleadsupthehillthroughthered—cloverbedstothesummer—house，therewasalongprocessionofthesefowlsstringingcontentedlyafterher，ledbyastatelyrooster，whocanlookovertheModoc’shead。ThedevotionofthesevassalshasbeenpurchasedwithdailylargessofIndianmeal，andsotheModoc，attendedbyherbody—guard，movesinstatewherevershegoes。

Thereweredays，mainlySundays，whenhedidnotworkatall；peacefuldaysoflyingfallow，dreaminginshadyplaces，drowsilywatchinglittleSusy，orreadingwithMrs。Clemens。Howells’s"ForegoneConclusion"wasrunningintheAtlanticthatyear，andtheydelightedinit。Clemenswrotetheauthor：

Ishouldthinkthatthismustbethedaintiest，truest，mostadmirableworkmanshipthatwaseverputonastory。ThecreaturesofGoddonotactouttheirnaturesmoreunerringlythanyoursdo。

IfyourgenuinestoriescandieIwonderbywhatrightoldWalterScott’sartificialitiesshallcontinuetolive。

AtothertimeshefoundcomfortinthesocietyofTheodoreCrane。Thesetwowerealwaysfondofeachother，andoftenreadtogetherthebooksinwhichtheyweremutuallyinterested。Theyhadportable—hammockarrangements，whichtheyplacedsidebysideonthelawn，andreadanddiscussedthroughsummerafternoons。The’MutineersoftheBounty’wasoneofthebookstheylikedbest，andtherewasastoryofanIcelandfarmer，ahumandocument，thathadanunfadinginterest。AlsotherewerecertainarticlesinoldnumbersoftheAtlanticthattheyreadandreread。’Pepys’Diary’，’TwoYearsBeforetheMast’，andabookontheAndeswerereliablefavorites。MarkTwainreadnotsomanybooks，butreadafewbooksoften。ThosenamedwereamongtheliteratureheaskedforeachyearofhisreturntoQuarryFarm。Withoutthem，thefarmandthesummerwouldnotbethesame。

Thentherewas’Lecky’sHistoryofEuropeanMorals’；therewereperiodswhentheyreadLeckyavidlyanddiscusseditinoriginalandunorthodoxways。MarkTwainfoundanechoofhisownphilosophiesinLecky。Hemadefrequentmarginalnotesalongthepagesoftheworld’smoralhistory——notesnotalwaysquotableinthefamilycircle。Mainly，however，theywereshort，crispinterjectionsofassentordisapproval。

InoneplaceLeckyreferstothosewhohaveundertakentoprovethatallourmoralityisaproductofexperience，holdingthatadesiretoobtainhappinessandtoavoidpainistheonlypossiblemotivetoaction；thereason，andtheonlyreason，whyweshouldperformvirtuousactionsbeing"thatonthewholesuchacoursewillbringusthegreatestamountofhappiness。"Clemenshasindorsedthesephilosophiesbywritingonthemargin，"Soundandtrue。"Itwasthephilosophywhichhehimselfwouldalwayshold(though，apparently，neverliveby)，andintheendwouldembodyavolumeofhisown。——[WhatIsMan？Privatelyprintedin1906。]——

InanotherplaceLecky，himselfspeaking，says：

Fortunatelywearealldependentformanyofourpleasuresonothers。Co—operationandorganizationareessentialtoourhappiness，andtheseareimpossiblewithoutsomerestraintbeingplaceduponourappetites。Lawsaremadetosecurethisrestraint，andbeingsustainedbyrewards，andpunishmentstheymakeittheinterestoftheindividualtoregardthatofthecommunity。

"Correct！"commentsClemens。"Hehasproceededfromunreasonedselfishnesstoreasonedselfishness。Allouracts，reasonedandunreasoned，areselfish。"Itwasaconclusionhelogicallyneverdepartedfrom；notthehappiestone，itwouldseem，atfirstglance，butoneeasiertodenythantodisprove。

OnthebackofanoldenvelopeMarkTwainsetdownhisliterarydeclarationofthisperiod。

"Ilikehistory，biography，travels，curiousfactsandstrangehappenings，andscience。AndIdetestnovels，poetry，andtheology。"

ButofcoursethenovelsofHowellswouldbeexcepted；Leckywasnottheology，butthehistoryofit；histasteforpoetrywoulddeveloplater，thoughitwouldneverbecomeafixedquantity，aswashisdevotiontohistoryandscience。Hisinterestintheseamountedtoapassion。

XCV

AN"ATLANTIC"STORYANDAPLAY

Thereferenceto"AuntieCord"inthelettertoDr。BrownbringsustoMarkTwain’sfirstcontributiontotheAtlanticMonthly。HowellsinhisRecollectionsofhisAtlanticeditorship，afterreferringtocertainWesterncontributors，says：

LatercameMarkTwain，originallyofMissouri，butthenprovisionallyofHartford，andnowultimatelyofthesolarsystem，nottosaytheuniverse。Hecamefirstwith"ATrueStory，"oneofthosenoblepiecesofhumanitywithwhichtheSouthhasatonedchiefly，ifnotsolely，throughhimforallitsdespitetothenegro。

ClemenshadlongaspiredtoappearintheAtlantic，butsuchwashisownratingofhisliteraturethathehardlyhopedtoqualifyforitspages。

Twichellremembershis"mingledastonishmentandtriumph"whenhewasinvitedtosendsomethingtothemagazine。

Hewasobligedto"sendsomething"onceortwicebeforetheacceptanceof"ATrueStory，"thenarrativeofAuntieCord，andeventhisacceptancebroughtwithitthereturnofafablewhichhadaccompaniedit，withtheexplanationthatafablelikethatwoulddisqualifythemagazineforeverydenominationalreader，thoughHowellshastenedtoexpresshisownjoyinit，havingbeenparticularlytouchedbytheauthor’sreferencetoSisyphusandAtlasasancestorsofthetumble—bug。The"TrueStory，"hesaid，withits"realestkingofblacktalk，"wonhim，andafewdayslaterhewroteagain："Thislittlestorydelightsmemoreandmore。I

wishyouhadaboutfortyof’em。"

Andso，modestlyenough，asbecamehim，forthestorywasofthesimplest，mostunpretentioussort，MarkTwainenteredintotheschooloftheelect。

InhislettertoHowells，accompanyingtheMS。，theauthorsaid：

Iinclosealso"ATrueStory，"whichhasnohumorinit。Youcanpayaslightlyasyouchooseforthatifyouwantit，foritisratheroutofmyline。Ihavenotalteredtheoldcoloredwoman’sstory，excepttobeginitatthebeginning，insteadofthemiddle，asshedid——andtraveledbothways。

HowellsinhisRecollectionstellsofthebusinessanxietyintheAtlanticofficeintheefforttoestimatethestory’specuniaryvalue。

ClemensandHartehadraisedliteraryratesenormously；thelatterwasreputedtohavereceivedasmuchasfivecentsawordfromaffluentnewspapers！ButtheAtlanticwaspoor，andwhensixtydollarswasfinallydecideduponforthethreepages(abouttwoandahalfcentsaword)theratewasregardedashandsome——withoutprecedentinAtlantichistory。HowellsaddsthatasmuchasfortytimesthisamountwassometimesofferedtoMarkTwaininlateryears。Evenin’74hehadreceivedamuchhigherratethanthatofferedbytheAtlantic，——butnoacceptance，then，orlater，evermadehimhappier，orseemedmorerichlyrewarded。

"ATrueStory，RepeatedWordforWordasIHeardIt"waspreciselywhatitclaimedtobe。——[AtlanticMonthlyforNovember，1874；alsoincludedinSketchesNewandOld。]——AuntieCord，theAuntieRachelofthattale，cookatQuarryFarm，wasaVirginianegresswhohadbeentwicesoldasaslave，andwasproudofthefact；particularlyproudthatshehadbrought$1，000ontheblock。Allherchildrenhadbeensoldawayfromher，butitwasalongtimeago，andnowatsixtyshewasfatandseeminglywithoutcare。ShehadtoldherstorytoMrs。Crane，whohadmorethanoncetriedtopersuadehertotellittoClemens；butAuntieCordwasreluctant。Oneevening，however，whenthefamilysatonthefrontverandainthemoonlight，lookingdownonthepicturecity，aswastheirhabit，AuntieCordcamearoundtosaygoodnight，andClemensengagedherinconversation。Heleduptoherstory，andalmostbeforesheknewitshewasseatedathisfeettellingthestrangetaleinalmosttheexactwordsinwhichitwassetdownbyhimnextmorning。ItgaveMarkTwainachancetoexercisetwoofhischiefgifts——transcriptionandportrayal。

Hewasalwaysgreateratthesethingsthanatinvention。AuntieCord’sstoryisalittlemasterpiece。

HewishedtodomorewithAuntieCordandherassociatesofthefarm，fortheywereextraordinarilyinteresting。Twoothernegroesontheplace，JohnLewisandhiswife(weshallhearnotablyofLewislater)，werenotalwaysontermsofamitywithAuntieCord。Theydisagreedonreligion，andtherewerefrequentbattlesinthekitchen。Thesedepressedthemistressofthehouse，buttheygaveonlyjoytoMarkTwain。HisSouthernraisinghadgivenhimanunderstandingoftheirhumors，theirnativeemotionswhichmadetheseriotsaspiritualgratification。Hewouldsliparoundamongtheshrubberyandlistentothenoiseandstrifeofbattle，andhughimselfwithdelight。Sometimestheyresortedtomissiles——stones，tinware——evendressedpoultrywhichAuntieCordwaspreparingfortheoven。Lewiswasveryblack，AuntieCordwasabrightmulatto，Lewis’s’wifeseveralshadeslighter。Whereverthediscussionbeganitpromptlyshadedofftowardthecolor—lineandinsult。AuntieCordwasaMethodist；LewiswasaDunkard。AuntieCordwasignorantanddogmatic；Lewiscouldreadandwasintelligent。Theologyinvariablyledtopersonality，andeventuallytoepithets，crockery，geology，andvictuals。Howthegreatestjokeroftheagedidenjoythatsummerwarfare！

Thefunwasnotallone—sided。AnincidentofthatsummerprobablyfurnishedmoreenjoymentforthecoloredmembersofthehouseholdthanitdidforMarkTwain。Lewishadsomefowls，andamongthemwasaparticularlypestiferousguinea—henthatusedtogetupatthreeinthemorningandgoaroundmakingthekindofanoisethataguinea—henmustlikeandiswillingtogetupearlytohear。MarkTwaindidnotcareforit。Hestooditaslongashecouldonemorning，thencreptsoftlyfromthehousetostopit。

Itwasaclear，brightnight；locatingtheguinea—hen，heslippedupstealthilywithastoutstick。Thebirdwaspouringoutitsheart，tearingthemoonlighttotatters。Stealingupclose，Clemensmadeaviciousswingwithhisbludgeon，butjustthentheguineasteppedforwardalittle，andhemissed。Thestrokeandhisexplosionfrightenedthefowl，anditstartedtorun。Clemens，withhismindnowonthesinglepurposeofrevenge，startedafterit。Aroundthetrees，alongthepaths，upanddownthelawn，throughgatesandacrossthegarden，outoverthefields，theyraced，"pursuerandpursued。"Theguineanorlongersang，andClemenswaspresentlytooexhaustedtoswear。Hourafterhourthesilent，deadlyhuntcontinued，bothstoppingtorestatintervals；thenupagainandaway。Itwaslikesomethinginadream。Itwasnearlybreakfast—timewhenhedraggedhimselfintothehouseatlast，andtheguineawasrestingandpantingunderacurrant—bush。LaterinthedayClemensgaveorderstoLewisto"killandeatthatguinea—hen，"whichLewisdid。Clemenshimselfhadthennevereatenaguinea，butsomeyearslater，inParis，whenthedeliciousbreastofoneofthosefowlswasservedhim，herememberedandsaid：

"Andtothink，afterchasingthatcreatureallnight，JohnLewisgottoeathiminsteadofme。"

TheinterestinTomandHuck，ortheinspirationfortheiradventures，gaveoutatlast，orwassupersededbyamoreimmediatedemand。AsearlyasMay，Goodman，inSanFrancisco，hadseenaplayannouncedthere，presentingthecharacterofColonelSellers，dramatizedbyGilbertS。

DensmoreandplayedbyJohnT。Raymond。GoodmanimmediatelywroteClemens；alsoalettercamefromWarner，inHartford，whohadnoticedinSanFranciscopapersannouncementsoftheplay。OfcourseClemenswouldtakeactionimmediately；hetelegraphed，enjoiningtheperformance。Thenbeganacorrespondencewiththedramatistandactor。Thisintimeresultedinanamicablearrangement，bywhichthedramatistagreedtodisposeofhisversiontoClemens。Clemensdidnotwaitforittoarrive，butbeganimmediatelyaversionofhisown。JusthowmuchorhowlittleofDensmore’sworkfounditswayintothecompletedplay，aspresentedbyRaymondlater，cannotbeknownnow。HowellsconveystheimpressionthatClemenshadnohandinitsauthorshipbeyondthecharacterofSellersastakenfromthebook。Butinaletterstillextant，whichClemenswrotetoHowellsatthetime，hesays：

Iworkedamonthonmyplay，andlauncheditinNewYorklastWednesday。Ibelieveitwillgo。Thenewspapershavebeencomplimentary。Itissimplyasettingforonecharacter，ColonelSellers。AsaplayIguessitwillnotbearcriticalassaultinforce。

TheWarnersareascharmingasever。Theygoshortlytothedevilforayear——thatis，toEgypt。

Raymond，inaletterwhichhewrotetotheSun，November3，1874，declaredthat"notoneline"ofDensmore’sdramatizationwasused，"exceptthatwhichwastakenbodilyfromTheGildedAge。Duringthenewspaperdiscussionofthematter，ClemenshimselfpreparedaletterfortheHartfordPost。Thisletterwassuppressed，butitstillexists。Inithesays：

Ientirelyrewrotetheplaythreeseparateanddistincttimes。I

hadexpectedtouselittleofhis[Densmore’s]languageandbutlittleofhisplot。IdonotthinktherearenowtwentysentencesofMr。Densmore’sintheplay，butIusedsomuchofhisplotthatI

wroteandtoldhimthatIshouldpayhimaboutasmuchmoreasIhadalreadypaidhimincasetheplayprovedasuccess。Ishallkeepmyword。

Thisletter，writtenwhilethematterwasfreshinhismind，isundoubtedlyinaccordancewiththefacts。ThatDensmorewasfullysatisfiedmaybegatheredfromanacknowledgment，inwhichhesays："Yourletterreachedmeonthead，withcheck。Inthisplacepermitmetothankyoufortheveryhandsomemannerinwhichyouhaveactedinthismatter。"

Warner，meantime，realizingthattheplaywasconstructedalmostentirelyoftheMarkTwainchaptersofthebook，agreedthathiscollaboratorshouldundertaketheworkandfinancialresponsibilitiesofthedramaticventureandreapsuchrewardsasmightresult。Variousstorieshavebeentoldofthismatter，mostofthemuntrue。Therewasnobitternessbetweenthefriends，nosemblanceofanestrangementofanysort。Warnerverygenerouslyandpromptlyadmittedthathewasnotconcernedwiththeplay，itsauthorship，oritsprofits，whateverthelattermightamountto。Moreover，WarnerwasgoingtoEgyptverysoon，andhislaborsandresponsibilitiesweredoublysufficientastheystood。

Clemens’sestimateoftheplayasadramaticcompositionwascorrectenough，butthepubliclikedit，anditwasafinancialsuccessfromthestart。HeemployedarepresentativetotravelwithRaymond，toassistinthemanagementandinthedivisionofspoil。Theagenthadinstructionstomailacardeveryday，statingtheamountofhisshareintheprofits。

HowellsoncearrivedinHartfordjustwhenthispostaltideoffortunewasatitsflood：

Onehundredandfiftydollars——twohundreddollars——threehundreddollarswerethegayfigureswhichtheybore，andwhichheflauntedintheair，beforehesatdownatthetable，orrosefromittobrandish，andthen，flinginghisnapkininthechair，walkedupanddowntoexultin。

Once，inlateryears，referringtothematter，Howellssaid"Hewasneveramanwhocaredanythingaboutmoneyexceptasadream，andhewantedmoreandmoreofittofilloutthespacesofthisdream。"

Whichwasatrueword。MarkTwainwithmoneywaslikeachildwithaheapofbrightpebbles，readytopileupmoreandstillmore，thenpresentlytothrowthemallawayandbegingatheringanew。

XCVI

THENEWHOME

TheClemensesreturnedtoHartfordtofindtheirnewhouse"ready，"

thoughstillfullofworkmen，decorators，plumbers，andsuchotherminionsoflaborasmakelifemiserabletothosewithambitionsforneworimprovedhabitations。Thecarpenterswerestillonthelowerfloor，butthefamilymovedinandcampedaboutinroomsup—stairsthatweremoreorlessfreefromtheinvader。TheyhadstoppedinNewYorktendaystobuycarpetsandfurnishings，andthesebegantoarrive，withnoparticularplacetoputthem；buttheownerswereexcitedandhappywithitall，foritwasthepleasantseasonoftheyear，andallthenewfeaturesofthehousewerefascinating，whilethedailyprogressofthedecoratorsfurnishedafreshsurprisewhentheyroamedthroughtheroomsatevening。Mrs。Clemenswrotehome：

Weareperfectlydelightedwitheverythinghereanddosowantyoualltoseeit。

Herhusband，ashewaslikelytodo，pickeduptheletterandfinishedit：

Livyappointsmetofinishthis；buthowcanaheadlessmanperformanintelligentfunction？Ihavebeenbully—raggedalldaybythebuilder，byhisforeman，bythearchitect，bythetapestrydevilwhoistoupholsterthefurniture，bytheidiotwhoisputtingdownthecarpets，bythescoundrelwhoissettingupthebilliard—table(andhaslefttheballsinNewYork)，bythewildcatwhoissoddingthegroundandfinishingthedriveway(afterthesunwentdown)，byabookagent，whosebodyisinthebackyardandthecoronernotified。

Justthinkofthisthinggoingonthewholedaylong，andIamanwholoathesdetailswithallhisheart！ButIhaven’tlostmytemper，andI’vemadeLivyliedownmostofthetime；couldanybodymakeherliedownallthetime？

WarnerwrotefromEgyptexpressingsympathyfortheirunfurnishedstateofaffairs，butadded，"Iwouldratherfitoutthreehousesandfillthemwithfurniturethantofitoutone’dahabiyeh’。"WarnerwasatthatmomentundertakinghischarminglyrememberedtripuptheNile。

Thenewhomewasnotentirelydoneforalongtime。Oneneverknowswhenabighouselikethat——oralittlehouse，forthatmattersdone。Buttheyweresettledatlast，withalltheirbeautifulthingsinplace；andperhapstherehavebeenricherhomes，possiblymoreartisticones，buttherehasneverbeenamorecharminghome，withinorwithout，thanthatone。

Somanyfrequentershavetriedtoexpressthecharmofthathousehold。

Noneofthemhasquitesucceeded，foritlaynotsomuchinitsarrangementofroomsortheirdecorationsortheiroutlook，thoughthesewereallbeautifulenough，butratherinthepersonality，theatmosphere；

andtheseareelusivethingstoconveyinwords。Wecanonlyseeandfeelandrecognize；wecannottranslatethem。EvenHowells，withhissubtletouch，canpresentonlyanaspecthereandthere；anessence，asitwere，fromahappygarden，ratherthanthefullnessofitsbloom。

AsMarkTwainwasunlikeanyothermanthateverlived，sohishousewasunlikeanyotherhouseeverbuilt。Peopleaskedhimwhyhebuiltthekitchentowardthestreet，andhesaid：

"Sotheservantscanseethecircusgobywithoutrunningoutintothefrontyard。"

Butthiswasprobablyanafter—thought。ThekitchenendofthehouseextendedtowardFarmingtonAvenue，butitwasbynomeansunbeautiful。

Itwasapleasingdetailofthegeneralscheme。Themainentrancefacedatrightangleswiththestreetandopenedtoaspacioushall。Inturn，thehallopenedtoaparlor，wheretherewasagrandpiano，andtothedining—roomandlibrary，andthelibraryopenedtoalittleconservatory，semicircularinform，ofadesigninventedbyHarrietBeecherStowe。

SaysHowells：

Theplantsweresetintheground，andthefloweringvinesclimbedupthesidesandoverhungtheroofabovethesilentsprayofthefountaincompaniedbyCallasandotherwaterlovinglilies。There，whilewebreakfasted，Patrickcameinfromthebarnandsprinkledtheprettybower，whichpouredoutitsresponsiveperfumeinthedelicateaccentsofitsvariedblossoms。

InthelibrarywasanoldcarvedmantelwhichClemensandhiswifehadboughtinScotland，salvagefromadismantledcastle，andacrossthetopofthefireplaceaplateofbrasswiththemotto，"Theornamentofahouseisthefriendsthatfrequentit，"surelynevermoreappropriatelyinscribed。

Therewasthemahoganyroom，alargebedroomonthegroundfloor，andupstairswereotherspaciousbedroomsandmanybaths，whileeverywherewereOrientalrugsanddraperies，andstatuaryandpaintings。Therewasafireplaceunderawindow，aftertheEnglishpattern，sothatinwinter—

timeonecouldatthesamemomentwatchtheblazeandthefallingsnow。

Thelibrarywindowslookedoutoverthevalleywiththelittlestreaminit，andthroughandacrossthetree—tops。AtthetopofthehousewaswhatbecameClemens’sfavoriteretreat，thebilliard—room，andhereandtherewereunexpectedlittlebalconies，whichonecouldstepoutuponfortheview。

Belowwasawide，coveredveranda，the"ombra，"astheycalledit，secludedfromthepubliceye——afavoritefamilygathering—placeonpleasantdays。

Butahousemighteasilyhaveallthesethingswithoutbeingmorethanusuallyattractive，andahousewithagreatdeallessmighthavebeenasfullofcharm；onlyitseemedjustthepropersettingforthatparticularhousehold，andundoubtedlyitacquiredthepersonalityofitsoccupants。

Howellsassuresusthatthereneverwasanotherhomelikeit，andwemayaccepthisstatement。Itwasunique。Itwasthehomeofoneofthemostunusualandunaccountablepersonalitiesintheworld，yetwasperfectlyandserenelyordered。MarkTwainwasnotresponsibleforthisblissfulcondition。Hewasitsbeacon—light；itwasaroundMrs。Clemensthatitsaffairssteadilyrevolved。

IfinthefouryearsandmoreofmarriageClemenshadmadeadvancementincultureandcapabilities，OliviaClemensalsohadbecomesomethingmorethanthehalf—timid，inexperiencedgirlhehadfirstknown。Inawayhereducationhadbeennolessnotablethanhis。Shehadworkedandstudied，andherhalf—yearoftravelandentertainmentabroadhadgivenheropportunityforacquiringknowledgeandconfidence。Hervisionoflifehadvastlyenlarged；herintellecthadflowered；hergraspofpracticalitieshadbecomefirmandsure。

Inspiteofherdelicatephysicalstructure，hercontinueduncertaintyofhealth，shecapablyundertookthemanagementoftheirlargenewhouse，andsuperviseditseconomies。Anyoneofherundertakingswassufficientforonewoman，butshecompassedthemall。Nochildrenhadmorecarefuldirectionthanhers。Nohusbandhadmoredevotedattendanceandcompanionship。Nohouseholdwaseverdirectedwithasweeterandgentlergrace，orwithgreaterperfectionofdetail。WhenthegreatonesoftheworldcametovisitAmerica’smostpicturesqueliteraryfigureshegavewelcometothemall，andfilledherplaceathissidewithsuchsweetandcapabledignitythatthosewhocametopaytheirdutiestohimoftenreturnedtopayevengreaterdevotiontohiscompanion。SaysHowells：

Shewas，inaway，theloveliestpersonIhaveeverseen——thegentlest，thekindest，withoutatouchofweakness；sheunitedwonderfultactwithwonderfultruth；andClemensnotonlyacceptedherruleimplicitly，butherejoiced，hegloriedinit。

Andonce，inaninterviewwiththewriterofthesechapters，Howellsdeclared："Shewasnotonlyabeautifulsoul，butawomanofsingularintellectualpower。Ineverknewanyonequitelikeher。"Thenheadded："WordscannotexpressMrs。Clemens——herfineness，herdelicate，herwonderfultactwithamanwhowasinsomerespects，andwishedtobe，themostoutrageouscreaturethateverbreathed。"

Howellsmeantagoodmanythingsbythat，nodoubt：Clemens’sviolentmethods，foronething，hissudden，savageimpulses，whichsometimesworkedinjusticeandhardshipforothers，thoughhewasfirsttodiscoverthewrongandtorepairitonlytoofully。Then，too，HowellsmayhavemeanthisboyishteasingtendencytodisturbMrs。Clemens’sexquisitesenseofdecorum。

OnceIrememberseeinghimcomeintohisdrawing—roomatHartfordinapairofwhitecowskinslipperswiththehairout，anddoacrippledcoloreduncle，tothejoyofallbeholders。Imustnotsayall，forI

rememberalsothedismayofMrs。Clemens，andherlow，despairingcryof"Oh，Youth！"

Hewascontinuallydoingsuchthingsasthe"crippledcoloreduncle，"；

partlyfortheveryjoyoftheperformance，butpartly，too，todisturbherserenity，toincurherreproof，toshiverheralittle——"shock"wouldbetoostrongaword。Andhelikedtofancyherinaspiritandattitudeofbelligerence，topresentthatfancytothosewhoknewthemeasureofhergentlenature。WritingtoMrs。Howellsofapictureofherselfinagroup，hesaid：

YoulookexactlyasMrs。Clemensdoesaftershehassaid："Indeed，I

donotwonderthatyoucanframenoreply；foryouknowonlytoowellthatyourconductadmitsofnoexcuse，palliation，orargument—

none！"

Clemenswouldpretendtoavisitorthatshehadbeenviolentlyindignantoversomeoffenseofhis；perhapshewouldsay：

"WellIcontradictedherjustnow，andthecrockerywillbegintoflyprettysoon。"

Shecouldneverquitegetusedtothispleasantry，andafaintglowwouldstealoverherface。Helikedtoproducethatglow。Yetalwayshismannertowardherwastendernessitself。Heregardedherassomedaintybitofporcelain，anditwassaidthathewasalwaysfollowingheraboutwithachair。Theirunionhasbeenregardedasideal。ThatisTwichell’sopinionandHowells’s。Thelattersumsup：

Marriagesarewhatthepartiestothemalonereallyknowthemtobe，butfromtheoutsideIshouldsaythatthismarriagewasoneofthemostperfect。

XCVII

THEWALKTOBOSTON

Thenewhomebecamemorebeautifultothemasthingsfoundtheirplaces，astheyeardeepened；andthewonderofautumnfoliagelituptheirlandscape。SittingononeofthelittleupperbalconiesMrs。Clemenswrote：

Theatmosphereisveryhazy，anditmakestheautumntintsevenmoresoftandbeautifulthanusual。Mr。TwichellcameforMr。Clemenstogowalkingwithhim；theyreturnedatdinner—time，heavilyladenwithautumnleaves。

AndasusualClemens，findingtheletterunfinished，tookupthestory。

Twichellcameupherewithmetoluncheonafterservices，andIwentbackhomewithhimandtookSusyalonginherlittlecarriage。Wehavejustgothomeagain，middleofafternoon，andLivyhasgonetorestandleftthewestbalconytome。Thereisashiningandmostmarvelousmiracleofcloud—effectsmirroredinthebrook；apicturewhichbeganwithperfection，andhasmomentlysurpassediteversince，untilatlastitisalmostunendurablybeautiful……

Thereisacloud—pictureinthestreamnowwhosehuesareasmanifoldasthoseinanopalandasdelicateasthetintingsofasea—shell。Butnowamuskratisswimmingthroughitandobliteratingitwiththeturmoilofwaveletshecastsabroadfromhisshoulders。

ThecustomarySundayassemblageofstrangersisgatheredtogetherinthegroundsdiscussingthehouse。

TwichellandClemenstookagoodmanywalksthesedays；longwalks，forTwichellwasanathleteandClemenshadnotthenoutgrowntheNevadahabitofpedestrianwandering。Talcott’sTower，awoodenstructureaboutfivemilesfromHartford，wasoneoftheirfavoriteobjectivepoints；andoftentheywalkedoutandback，talkingsocontinuously，andsoabsorbedinthethemesoftheirdiscussions，thattimeanddistanceslippedawayalmostunnoticed。Howmanythingstheytalkedofinthoselongwalks！

Theydiscussedphilosophiesandreligionsandcreeds，andalltherangeofhumanpossibilityandshortcoming，andallthephasesofliteratureandhistoryandpolitics。Unorthodoxdiscussionstheywere，illuminating，marvelouslyenchanting，andvanishednowforever。

SometimestheytookthetrainasfarasBloomfield，alittlestationontheway，andwalkedtherestofthedistance，ortheytookthetrainfromBloomfieldhome。Itseemsastrangeassociation，perhaps，thefellowshipofthatviolentdissenterwiththatferventsouldedicatedtochurchandcreed，buttherootoftheirfriendshiplayinthefranknesswithwhicheachmandeliveredhisdogmasandrespectedthoseofhiscompanion。

Itwasduringoneoftheirwalkstothetowerthattheyplannedafarmoreextraordinaryundertaking——nothingless，infact，thanawalkfromHartfordtoBoston。ThiswasearlyinNovember。Theydidnotdelaythematter，fortheweatherwasgettingtoouncertain。

ClemenswroteRedpath：

DEARREDPATH，——Rev。J。H。TwichellandIexpecttostartat8o’clockThursdaymorningtowalktoBostonintwentyfourhours——ormore。WeshalltelegraphYoung’sHotelforroomsSaturdaynight，inordertoallowforalowaverageofpedestrianism。

ItwashalfpasteightonThursdaymorning，November12，1874，thattheyleftTwichell’shouseinacarriage，drovetotheEastHartfordbridge，andtheretooktotheroad，TwichellcarryingalittlebagandClemensabasketoflunch。

Thepapershadgotholdofitbythistime，andwerewatchingtheresult。

Theydidwellenoughthatfirstday，followingtheoldBostonstageroad，arrivingatWestfordaboutseveno’clockintheevening，twenty—eightmilesfromthestarting—point。TherewasnorealhotelatWestford，onlyasortoftavern，butitaffordedtheluxuryofrest。"Also，"saysTwichell，inamemorandaofthetrip，"asublimelyprofanehostlerwhomyoucouldn’tjostlewithanysortofmildremarkwithoutbringingdownuponyourselfaperfectavalancheofoaths。"

ThiswasajoytoClemens，whosatbehindthestove，rubbinghislamekneesandfairlyrevelinginTwichell’sdiscomfitureinhiseffortstodivertthehostler’sblasphemy。TherewasalsoamellowinebriatetherewhorecommendedkeroseneforClemens’slameness，andofferedastestimonythefactthathehimselfhadfrequentlyuseditforstiffnessinhisjointsafterlyingoutallnightincoldweather，drunk：altogetheritwasanotableevening。

Westfordwasaboutasfarastheycontinuedthejourneyafoot。Clemenswasexceedinglylamenextmorning，andhadhadaratherbadnight；buthesworeandlimpedalongsixmilesfarther，toNorthAshford，thengaveitup。TheydrovefromNorthAshfordtotherailway，whereClemenstelegraphedRedpathandHowellsoftheirapproach。ToRedpath：

Wehavemadethirty—fivemilesinlessthanfivedays。Thisdemonstratesthatthethingcanbedone。Shallnowfinishbyrail。

Didyouhaveanybetsonus？

ToHowells：

Arrivebyrailatseveno’clock，thefirstofaseriesofgrandannualpedestriantoursfromHartfordtoBostontobeperformedbyus。Thenextwilltakeplacenextyear。

Redpathreadhisdespatchtoalectureaudience，witheffect。Howellsmadeimmediatepreparationforreceivingtwoway—worn，hungrymen。HetelegraphedtoYoung’sHotel："YouandTwichellcomerightupto37

ConcordAvenue，Cambridge，nearobservatory。Partywaitingforyou。"

TheygottoHowells’saboutnineo’clock，andtherefreshmentswerewaiting。MissLongfellowwasthere，RoseHawthorne，JohnFiske，LarkinG。Mead，thesculptor，andothersoftheirkind。HowellstellsinhisbookhowClemens，withTwichell，"suddenlystormedin，"andimmediatelybegantoeatanddrink：

Icanseehimnowashestoodupinthemidstofourfriends，withhisheadthrownback，andinhishandadishofthoseescallopedoysterswithoutwhichnopartyinCambridgewasreallyaparty，exultinginthetaleofhisadventure，whichhadaboundedinthemostoriginalcharactersandamusingincidentsateverymileoftheirprogress。

Clemensgaveadinner，nextnight，toHowells，Aldrich，Osgood，andtherest。ThepaperswerefullofjokesconcerningtheBostonexpedition；

someevenhadillustrations，anditwasallamusingenoughatthetime。