第25章

CXCVII

FINISHINGTHEBOOKOFTRAVEL

OnereadingtheEquatorbookto—day，andknowingthecircumstancesunderwhichitwaswritten，mightbepuzzledtoreconcilethesecludedhouseholdanditsatmosphereofsorrowwithcertaingaietiesofthesubjectmatter。Theauthorhimselfwonderedatit，andtoHowellswrote：

Idon’tmeanthatIammiserable；no—worsethanthat——indifferent。

Indifferenttonearlyeverythingbutwork。Ilikethat；Ienjoyit，&sticktoit。Idoitwithoutpurpose&withoutambition；merelyfortheloveofit。Indeed，Iamamud—image；&itpuzzlesmetoknowwhatitisinmethatwrites&hascomedyfancies&findspleasureinphrasingthem。Itisthelawofournature，ofcourse，oritwouldn’thappen；thethinginmeforgetsthepresenceofthemud—image，goesitsownwaywhollyunconsciousofit&apparentlyofnokinshipwithit。

Hesawlittlecompany。Nowand，thenagoodfriend，J。Y。W。MacAlister，cameinforasmokewithhim。OnceClemenssentthisline：

YouspeakalanguagewhichIunderstand。Iwouldliketoseeyou。

Couldyoucomeandsmokesomemanilas；Iwould，ofcourse，saydine，butmyfamilyarehermits&cannotseeanyone，butIwouldhaveafireinmystudy，&ifyoucameatanytimeafteryourdinnerthatmightbemostconvenientforyouyouwouldfindme&awelcome。

Clemensoccasionallywentouttodinner，butveryprivately。HedinedwithBramStoker，whoinvitedAnthonyHopeandoneortwoothers，andwiththeChattosandMr。PercySpalding；alsowithAndrewLang，whowrote，"Youroldfriend，LordLome，wantstoseeyouagain"；withtheHenryM。StanleysandPoultneyBigelow，andwithFrancisH。Skrine，agovernmentofficialhehadmetinIndia。Butinallsuchaffairshewasprotectedfromstrangersandhisaddresswaskeptasecretfromthepublic。Finally，thenew—foundcousin，Dr。JimClemens，fellill，andthenewspapershaditpresentlythatMarkTwainwaslyingatthepointofdeath。AreporterferretedhimoutandappearedatTedworthSquarewithcabledinstructionsfromhispaper。Hewasayoungman，andinnocentlyenoughexhibitedhiscredentials。Hisordersread：

"IfMarkTwainveryill，fivehundredwords。Ifdead，sendonethousand。"

Clemenssmiledgrimlyashehandedbackthecable。

"Youdon’tneedasmuchasthat，"hesaid。"Justsaythereportofmydeathhasbeengrosslyexaggerated。"

Theyoungmanwentawayquiteseriously，anditwasnotuntilhewasnearlytohisofficethathesawthejoke。Then，ofcourse，itwasflashedallovertheworld。

Clemenskeptgrindingsteadilyatthebook，foritwastobeaverylargevolume——largerthanhehadeverwrittenbefore。ToMacAlister，April6，1897，hewrote，replyingtosomeinvitation：

Ah，butImustn’tstirfrommydeskbeforenightnowwhenthepublisherishurryingme&Iamalmostthrough。Iamupatworknow——4o’clockinthemorning—andafewmorespurtswillpullmethrough。Youcomedownhere&smoke；thatisbetterthantemptingaworking—mantostrike&gototea。

AnditwouldmovemetoodeeplytoseeMissCorelli。WhenIsawherlastitwasonthestreetinHomburg，&Susywaswalkingwithme。

OnApril13thhemakesanote—bookentry："Ifinishedmybookto—day，"

andonthe15thhewroteMacAlister，inclosingsomebitsofmanuscript：

Ifinishedmybookyesterday，andthemadameditedthisstuffoutofit——onthegroundthatthefirstpartisnotdelicate&thelastpartisindelicate。Now，there’sanicedistinctionforyou——&

correctlystated，too，&perfectlytrue。

ItmayinterestthereadertoconsiderbrieflythemannerinwhichMarkTwain’s"editor"dealtwithhismanuscript，andafewpagesofthisparticularbookremainasexamples。Thathewasnotalwaysentirelytractable，oratleastsubmissive，butthathedidyield，andgraciously，isclearlyshown。

InoneofhercommentsMrs。Clemenswrote：

Page597。Ihatetosayit，butitseemstomethatyougotoominutelyintoparticularsindescribingthefeatsoftheaboriginals。Ifeltitintheboomerang—throwing。

AndClemensjustbelowhaswritten：

Boomeranghasbeenfurnishedwithaspecialtrain——thatis，I’veturneditinto"Appendix。"Willthatanswer？

Page1002。Idon’tlikethe"shady—principledcatthathasafamilyineveryport。"

ThenI’llmodifyhimjustalittle。

Page1020。9thlinefromthetop。Ithinksomeotherwordwouldbebetterthan"stench。"Youhaveusedthatprettyoften。

Butcan’tIgetitinanywhere？You’veknockeditouteverytime。

Outitgoesagain。Andyet"stench"isanoble，goodword。

Page1038。Ihatetohaveyourfatherpicturedaslashingaslaveboy。

It’sout，andmyfatheriswhitewashed。

Page1050。2dlinefromthebottom。Changebreech—clout。It’sawordthatyouloveandIabominate。Iwouldtakethatand"offal"

outofthelanguage。

YouaresteadilyweakeningtheEnglishtongue，Livy。

Page1095。Perhapsyoudon’tcare，butwhoevertoldyouthatthePrince’sgreenstoneswererubiestoldanuntruth。Theyweresuperbemeralds。ThosestringsofpearlsandemeraldswerefamousalloverBombay。

Allright，I’llmakethememeralds，butitlosesforce。Greenrubiesisafreshthing。AndbesidesitwasoneofthePrince’sownstaffliarsthattoldme。

Thatthebookwasnotquitedone，evenafterthetriumphantentryofApril13th，isshownbyanothernotewhichfollowedsomethingmorethanamonthlater：

May18，1897。Finishedthebookagain——additionof30，000words。

AndtoMacAlisterhewrote：

Ihavefinishedthebookatlast——andfinisheditforgoodthistime。NowIamreadyfordissipationwithagoodconscience。Whatnightwillyoucomedown&smoke？

Hisbookfinished，Clemenswentoutrathermorefreely，andoneeveningallowedMacAlistertotakehimaroundtotheSavageClub。Therehappenedtobeamajorityoftheclubcommitteepresent，andonmotionMarkTwainwaselectedanhonorarylifemember。Therewerebutthreeothersonwhomthisdistinctionhadbeenconferred——Stanley，Nansen，andthePrinceofWales。WhentheytoldMarkTwainthishesaid：

"Well，itmustmakethePrincefeelmightyfine。"——[InavolumeofSavageClubanecdotesthedateofMarkTwain’selectiontohonorarymembershipisgivenas1899。Clemens’snotebookgivesitin1897。]

Hedidnotintendtorest；inanotherentrywefind：

May23，1897。Wrotefirstchapterofabovestoryto—day。

The"abovestory"isasynopsisofatalewhichhetriedthenandlaterinvariousforms——atalebasedonascientificideathatonemaydreamanepisodecoveringaperiodofyearsinminutedetailinwhat，byourreckoning，maybenomorethanafewbriefseconds。Inthisparticularformofthestoryamansitsdowntowritesomememoriesandfallsintoadoze。Thesmellofhiscigarettesmokecauseshimtodreamoftheburningofhishome，thedestructionofhisfamily，andofalongperiodofyearsfollowing。Awakeningafewsecondslater，andconfrontedbyhiswifeandchildren，herefusestobelieveintheirreality，maintainingthatthiscondition，andnottheother，isthedream。Clemenstriedthepsychologicalliteraryexperimentinasmanyasthreedifferentwaysduringthenexttwoorthreeyears，andeachatconsiderablelength；buthedevelopednoneofthemtohissatisfaction，oratleasthebroughtnoneofthemtoconclusion。Perhapsthemostweirdoftheseattempts，andthemostintenselyinteresting，solongastheverisimilitudeismaintained，isadreamadventureinadropofwaterwhich，throughanincrediblehumanreductiontomicrobic，evenatomic，proportions，hasbecomeavasttempestuoussea。MarkTwainhadtheimaginationfortheseundertakingsandtheliteraryworkmanship，lackingonlyadefiniteplanfordevelopmentofhistale——alackwhichhadbroughtsomanyofhisliteraryventurestotherocks。

CXCVIII

ASUMMERINSWITZERLAND

TheQueen’sJubileecamealong——June22，1897，beingthedaychosentocelebratethesixty—yearreign。ClemenshadbeenaskedtowriteaboutitfortheAmericanpapers，andhedidsoafterhisownideas，illustratingsomeofhismaterialwithpicturesofhisownselection。Theselectionsweremadefromvariousfashion—plates，whichgavehimachancetopickthekindofaprinceorprincessorotherroyalfigurethathethoughtfittedhisdescriptionwithoutanyhandicapuponhisimagination。UnderhisportraitofHenryV。(averycorrectlydressedpersonintophatandovercoat)hewrote：

IntheoriginaltheKinghasacrownon。ThatisnokindofathingfortheKingtowearwhenhehascomehomeonbusiness。Heoughttowearsomethinghecancollecttaxesin。YouwillfindthisrepresenationofHenryV。active，fulloffeeling，fullofsublimity。IhavepicturedhimlookingoutoverthebattleofAgincourtandstudyingupwheretobegin。

MarkTwain’saccountoftheJubileeprobablysatisfiedmostreaders；butJamesTufts，thenmanagingeditoroftheSanFranciscoExaminer，hadarathermatter—of—factEnglishmanonthestaff，who，afterreadingthereport，said：

"Well，JimTufts，IhopeyouaresatisfiedwiththatMarkTwaincable。"

"Why，yes，"saidTufts；"aren’tyou？"

"Ishouldsaynot。Justlookwhathesaysaboutthenumberofsoldiers。

Hesays，’Ineversawsomanysoldiersanywhereexceptonthestageofatheater。’Why，Tufts，don’tyouknowthatthesoldiersinthetheaterarethesameoldsoldiersmarchingaroundandaround？Therearen’tmorethanahundredsoldiersinthebiggestarmyeverputonthestage。"

ItwasdecidedtovacatethehouseinTedworthSquareandgotoSwitzerlandforthesummer。Mrs。CraneandCharlesLangdon’sdaughter，Julia，joinedthemearlyinJuly，andtheysetoutforSwitzerlandafewdayslater。Justbeforeleaving，ClemensreceivedanofferfromPondoffiftythousanddollarsforonehundredandtwenty—fivenightsontheplatforminAmerica。Itwastoogreatatemptationtoresistatonce，andtheytookitunderadvisement。Clemenswaswillingtoaccept，butMrs。Clemensopposedtheplan。Shethoughthishealthnolongerequaltosteadytravel。Shebelievedthatwithcontinuedeconomytheywouldbeabletomanagetheirproblemwithoutthissum。Intheendtheofferwasdeclined。

TheyjourneyedtoSwitzerlandbywayofHollandandGermany，thegeneraldestinationbeingLucerne。Theydidnotremainthere，however。Theyfoundaprettylittlevillagefartherupthelake——Weggis，atthefootoftheRigi——where，intheVillaBuhlegg，theyarrangedforthesummeratverymoderateratesindeed。Weggisisabeautifulspot，lookingacrossthebluewatertoMountPilatus，thelakeshoredottedwithwhitevillages。Downbythewater，butafewyardsfromthecottage——foritwasscarcelyavillaexceptbycourtesy——therewasalittleinclosure，andabenchunderalargetree，aquietspotwhereClemensoftensattorestandsmoke。Thefactisrememberedthereto—day，andrecorded。A

smalltablethasengraveduponit"MarkTwainRuhe。"Fartheralongtheshorehediscoveredaneat，whitecottageweresomekindlyworking—peopleagreedtorenthimanupperroomforastudy。Itwasasunnyroomwithwindowslookingoutuponthelake，andheworkedtheresteadily。ToTwichellhewrote：

Thisisthecharmingestplacewehaveeverlivedinforreposeandrestfulness，superbscenerywhosebeautyundergoesaperpetualchangefromonemiracletoanother，yetneverrunsshortoffreshsurprisesandnewinventions。Weshallalwayscomehereforthesummersifwecan。

TheothershaveclimbedtheRigi，hesays，andheexpectstosomedayifTwichellwillcomeandclimbitwithhim。Theyhadclimbedittogetherduringthatsummervagabondage，nineteenyearsbefore。

Hewasfullofenthusiasmoverhiswork。ToF。H。Skrine，inLondon，hewrotethathehadfourorfivebooksallgoingatonce，andhisnote—bookcontainstwoorthreepagesmerelyoftitlesofthestoriesheproposedtowrite。

ButofthebooksbegunthatsummeratWeggisnoneappearstohavebeencompleted。Therestillexistsabulky，half—finishedmanuscriptaboutTomandHuck，mostofwhichwasdoubtlesswrittenatthistime，andthereisthetalealreadymentioned，the"dream"story；andanothertalewithaplotofintricatepsychologyandcrime；stillanotherwiththeburningtitleof"Hell—FireHotchkiss"——a，storyofHanniballife——andsomeshortstories。Clemensappearedtobeatthistimeoutoftunewithfiction。

Perhapshislongbookoftravelhaddisqualifiedhisinvention。Herealizedthatthesevariousliteraryprojectswereleadingnowhere，andoneafteranotherhedroppedthem。Thefactthatproofsofthebigbookwerecomingsteadilymayalsohaveinterferedwithhiscreativefaculty。

Aswashishabit，Clemensformedtheacquaintanceofanumberofthenativeresidents，andenjoyedtalkingtothemabouttheirbusinessanddailyaffairs。Theywereusuallyproudandgladoftheseattentions，quicktoseethehumorofhisremarks。

Buttherewasanoldwatchmaker—an’Uhrmacher’whoremainedindifferent。

Hewouldansweronlyinsombermonosyllables，andheneversmiled。

Clemensatlastbroughtthecheapestkindofawatchforrepairs。

"Beverycarefulofthiswatch，"hesaid。"Itisafineone。"

Theoldmanmerelyglaredathim。

"Itisnotavaluablewatch。Itisaworthlesswatch。"

"ButIgavesixfrancsforitinParis。"

"Still，itisacheapwatch，"wastheunsmilinganswer。Defeatwaitssomewhereforeveryconqueror。

Whichrecallsanotherinstance，thoughofadifferentsort。OnoneofhismanyvoyagestoAmerica，hewassittingondeckinasteamer—chairwhentwolittlegirlsstoppedbeforehim。Oneofthemsaid，hesitatingly：

"AreyouMr。MarkTwain？"

"Why，yes，dear，theycallmethat。"

"Won’tyoupleasesaysomethingfunny？"

Andforthelifeofhimhecouldn’tmaketherequiredremark。

InoneofhisletterstoTwichellofthatsummer，Clemenswroteofthearrivalthereofthecoloredjubileesingers，alwaysfavoritesofhis，andofhisgreatdelightinthem。

Wewentdowntothevillagehotel&boughtourtickets&enteredthebeer—hall，whereacrowdofGerman&Swissmen&womensatgroupedaroundtableswiththeirbeer—mugsinfrontofthem——self—contained&unimpressionable—lookingpeople——anindifferent&unposted&

dishearteningaudience——&upatthefarendoftheroomsatthejubileesinarow。Thesingersgotup&stood——thetalking&glass—

—jinglingwenton。Thenrose&swelledoutabovethosecommonearthlysoundsoneofthoserichchords，thesecretofwhosemakeonlythejubileespossess，&aspellfelluponthathouse。Itwasfinetoseethefaceslightupwiththepleasedwonder&surpriseofit。Noonewasindifferentanymore；&whenthesingersfinishedthecampwastheirs。Itwasatriumph。ItremindedmeofLancelotridinginSirKay’sarmor，astonishingcomplacentknightswhothoughttheyhadstruckasoftthing。Thejubileessangalotofpieces。Arduous&painstakingcultivationhasnotdiminishedorartificializedtheirmusic，butonthecontrary——tomysurprise——hasmightilyreinforceditseloquenceandbeauty。Awaybackinthebeginning——tomymind——theirmusicmadeallothervocalmusiccheap；

&thatearlynotionisemphasizednow。Itisentirelybeautifultome；&itmovesmeinfinitelymorethananyothermusiccan。Ithinkthatinthejubilees&theirsongsAmericahasproducedtheperfectestfloweroftheages；&Iwishitwereaforeignproduct，sothatshewouldworshipit&lavishmoneyonit&goproperlycrazyoverit。

Now，thesecountriesaredifferent：theywoulddoallthatifitwerenative。ItistruetheypraiseGod，butthatismerelyaformality，¬hinginit；theyopenouttheirwholeheartstonoforeigner。

AsthefirstanniversaryofSusy’sdeathdrewnearthetensionbecameverygreat。Agloomsettledonthehousehold，ashadowofrestraint。Onthemorningofthe18thClemenswentearlytohisstudy。SomewhatlaterMrs。Clemensputonherhatandwrap，andtakingasmallbagleftthehouse。Theotherssawhergotowardthesteamer—landing，butmadenoinquiriesastoherdestination。Theyguessedthatshewouldtakethelittleboatthattouchedatthevariouspointsalongthelakeshore。

Thisshedid，infact，withnoparticularplanastowhereshewouldleaveit。Oneofthelanding—placesseemedquietandinviting，andthereshewentashore，andtakingaquietroomatasmallinnspentthedayinreadingSusy’sletters。Itwaseveningwhenshereturned，andherhusband，lonelyandanxious，waswaitingforheratthelanding。Hehadputinthedaywritingthebeautifulpoem，"InMemoriam，"astrainlofty，tender，anddirge—like—liquidlymusical，thoughirregularinform。——[NowincludedintheUniformEdition。]

CXCIX

WINTERINVIENNA

TheyremainedtwomonthsinWeggis——untiltowardtheendofSeptember；

thencetoVienna，bywayofInnsbruck，intheTyrol，"wherethemountainsseemmoreapproachablethaninSwitzerland。"ClaraClemenswishedtostudythepianounderLeschetizky，andthiswouldtakethemtoAustriaforthewinter。ArrivingatVienna，theysettledintheHotelMetropole，onthebanksoftheDanube。Theirrooms，acornersuite，lookedoutonaprettygreensquare，theMerzimplatz，anddownontheFranzJosefquay。

Alittlebridgecrossestheriverthere，overwhichallkindsoflifearecontinuallypassing。OnpleasantdaysClemenslikedtostandonthisbridgeandwatchtheinterestingphasesoftheAustriancapital。TheViennahumorist，Poetzl，quicklyformedhisacquaintance，andtheysometimesstoodtheretogether。OncewhileClemenswasmakingsomenotes，Poetzlinterestedthevariouspassersbyaskingeachone——theerrand—boy，theboot—black，thechestnut—vender，cabmen，andothers——toguesswhothestrangerwasandwhathewanted。Mostofthemrecognizedhimwhentheirattentionwascalled，forthenewspapershadproudlyheraldedhisarrivalandhispicturewaswidelycirculated。

ClemenshadscarcelyarrivedinVienna，infact，beforehewaspursuedbyphotographers，journalists，andautograph—hunters。TheViennesewerehisfondadmirers，andknowinghowtheworldelsewherehadhonoredhimtheyweredeterminednottobeoutdone。The’NeuesVienerTageblatt’，afortnightafterhisarrival，said：

ItisseldomthataforeignauthorhasfoundsuchaheartyreceptioninViennaasthataccordedtoMarkTwain，whonotonlyhasthereputationofbeingtheforemosthumoristinthewholecivilized。

world，butonewhosepersonalityarouseseverywhereapeculiarinterestonaccountofthegenuineAmericancharacterwhichswaysit。

HewastheguestofhonorattheConcordiaClubsoonafterhisarrival，andthegreatonesofViennaassembledtodohimhonor。CharlemagneTower，thenAmericanminister，wasalsooneoftheguests。Writers，diplomats，financiers，municipalofficials，everybodyinViennathatwasworthwhile，wasthere。Clemensgavethemasurprise，forwhenFerdinandGross，Concordiapresident，introducedhimfirstinEnglish，theninGerman，MarkTwainmadehisreplywhollyinthelatterlanguage。

Thepaperjustquotedgivesusahintofthefrolicandwassailofthatold’Festkneipe’whenitsays：

At9o’clockMarkTwainappearedinthesalon，andamidastormofapplausetookhisseatattheheadofthetable。Hischaracteristicshaggyandflowingmaneofhairadorningayouthfulcountenanceattractedtheattentionatonceofallpresent。AfterafewformalconvivialcommonplacesthepresidentoftheConcordia，Mr。FerdinandGross，deliveredanexcellentaddressinEnglish，whichhewoundupwithafewGermansentences。ThenMr。Towerwasheardinpraiseofhisaugustcountryman。InthecourseofhisremarkshesaidhecouldhardlyfindwordsenoughtoexpresshisdelightatthepresenceofthepopularAmerican。Thenfollowedthegreatestattractionoftheevening，animpromptuspeechbyMarkTwainintheGermanlanguage，whichitistruehehasnotfullymastered，butwhichheneverthelesscontrolssufficientlywelltomakeitdifficulttodetectanyharshforeignaccent。Hehadentitledhisspeech，"DieSchreckenderDeutschenSprache"(theterrorsoftheGermanlanguage)。AttimeshewouldinterrupthimselfinEnglishandask，withastutteringsmile，"HowdoyoucallthiswordinGerman"or"Ionlyknowthatinmother—tongue。"TheFestkneipelastedfarintothemorninghours。

ItwasnotlongaftertheirarrivalinViennathatthefrictionamongtheunamalgamatedAustrianstatesflamedintoageneraloutbreakintheAustrianReichsrath，orImperialParliament。Weneednotconsiderjustwhatthetroublewas。AnyonewishingtoknowcanlearnfromMarkTwain’sarticleonthesubject，foritismoreclearlypicturedtherethanelsewhere。ItisenoughtosayherethatthedifficultylaymainlybetweentheHungarianandGermanwingsofthehouse；andinthemidstofitDr。OttoLechermadehisfamousspeech，whichlastedtwelvehourswithoutabreak，inordertoholdtheflooragainsttheopposingforces。

Clemenswasinthegallerymostofthetimewhilethatspeech，withitsriotousaccompaniment，wasinprogress。——["Whenthathouseislegislatingyoucan’ttellitfromartillerypractice。"FromMarkTwain’sreport，"StirringTimesinAustria，"inLiteraryEssays，]——Hewasintenselyinterested。Nothingwouldappealtohimmorethanthat，unlessitshouldbesomegreatastronomicorgeologicchange。Hewasalsopresentsomewhatlaterwhenaresolutionwasrailroadedthroughwhichgavethechairtherighttoinvoketheaidofthemilitary，andhewastherewhenthemilitaryarrivedandtooktheinsurgentsincharge。

Itwasaverygreatoccasion，a"tremendousepisode，"hesays。

Thememoryofitwilloutlastalltheothersthatexistto—day。Inthewholehistoryoffreeparliamentthelikeofithadbeenseenbutthreetimesbefore。Ittakesimposingplaceamongtheworld’sunforgetablethings。IthinkthatinmylifetimeIhavenottwiceseenabidinghistorymadebeforemyeyes，butIknowthatIhaveseenitonce。

WildreportsweresenttotheAmericanpress；amongthemonethatMarkTwainhadbeenhustledoutwiththeothers，andthat，havingwavedhishandkerchiefandshouted"HochdieDeutschen！"hehadbeenstruckbyanofficerofthelaw。Ofcoursenothingofthekindhappened。Thesergeant—at—arms，whocametothegallerywherehesat，saidtoafriendwhosuggestedthatClemensbeallowedtoremain：

"Oh，Iknowhimverywell。Irecognizehimbyhispictures，andIshouldbeverygladtolethimstay，butIhaven’tanychoicebecauseofthestrictnessoftheorder。"

Clemens，however，immediatelyranacrossaLondonTimescorrespondent，whoshowedhimthewayintothefirstgallery，whichitseemswasnotemptied，sohelostnoneoftheexhibit。

MarkTwain’sreportoftheAustriantroubles，publishedinHarper’sMagazinethefollowingMarchandnowincludedwiththeLiteraryEssays，willkeepthatepisodealiveandimportantasliteraturewhenotherwiseitwouldhavebeenmerelyembalmed，anddimlyremembered，ashistory。

ItwasduringtheseexcitingpoliticaltimesinViennathatarepresentativeofaNewYorkpaperwrote，askingforaMarkTwaininterview。Clemensreplied，givinghimpermissiontocall。WhenthereporterarrivedClemenswasatworkwritinginbed，aswassomuchhishabit。Atthedoorwaythereporterpaused，waitingforasummonstoenter。ThedoorwasajarandheheardMrs。Clemenssay：

"Youth，don’tyouthinkitwillbealittleembarrassingforhim，yourbeinginbed？"

AndheheardMarkTwain’seasy，gentle，deliberatevoicereply：

"Why，Livy，ifyouthinkso，wemighthavetheotherbedmadeupforhim。"

ClemensbecameaprivilegedcharacterinVienna。Officialrulesweremodifiedforhisbenefit。Everythingwasmadeeasyforhim。Once，onacertaingrandoccasion，whennobodywaspermittedtopassbeyondaprescribedline，hewasstoppedbyaguard，whentheofficerinchargesuddenlyrodeup：

"Lethimpass，"hecommanded。"LieberGott！Don’tyouseeit’sHerrMarkTwain？"

TheClemensapartmentsattheMetropolewerelikeacourt，wherewiththoseofsocialrankassembledtheforemostauthors，journalists，diplomats，painters，philosophers，scientists，ofEurope，andthereforeoftheworld。AsisteroftheEmperorofGermanylivedattheMetropolethatwinterandwasespeciallycordial。MarkTwain’sdailymovementswerechronicledasifhehadbeensomevisitingpotentate，and，asusual，invitationsandvariousspecialpermissionspouredin。AViennapaperannounced：

Hehasbeenfetedanddinedfrommorntilleve。Thehomesofthearistocracyarethrownopentohim，countsandprincesdelighttodohimhonor，andforeignaudienceshanguponthewordsthatfallfromhislips，readytoburstoutanyinstantintoroarsoflaughter。

Death