第35章

Outside，whentheserviceswereended，thevenerablejuvenilewriter，J。T。Trowbridge，cameuptoClemenswithextendedhand。Clemenssaid：

"Trowbridge，areyoustillalive？Youmustbeathousandyearsold。

Why，IlistenedtoyourstorieswhileIwasbeingrockedinthecradle。"

Trowbridgesaid：

"Mark，there’ssomemistake。Myearliestinfantsmilewaswakenedwithoneofyourjokes。"

Theystoodsidebysideagainstafenceintheblazingsunandwerephotographed——aninterestingpicture。

WereturnedtoBostonthatevening。Clemensdidnotwishtohurryinthesummerheat，andweremainedanotherdayquietlysight—seeing，anddrivingaroundandaroundCommonwealthAvenueinavictoriainthecooloftheevening。Once，rememberingAldrich，hesaid：

"IwasjustplanningTomSawyerwhenhewasbeginningthe’StoryofaBadBoy’。WhenIheardthathewaswritingthatIthoughtofgivingupmine，butAldrichinsistedthatitwouldbeafoolishthingtodo。HethoughtmyMissouriboycouldnotbyanychanceconflictwithhisboyofNewEngland，andofcoursehewasright。"

Hespokeofhowgreatliterarymindsusuallycamealongincompany。Hesaid：

"Nowandthen，onthestreamoftime，smallgobsofthatthingwhichwecallgeniusdriftdown，andafewoftheselodgeatsomeparticularpoint，andotherscollectaboutthemandmakeasortofintellectualisland——atowhead，astheysayontheriver——suchanaccumulationofintellectwecallagroup，orschool，andnameit。

"ThirtyyearsagotherewastheCambridgegroup。Nowthere’sbeenstillanother，whichincludedAldrichandHowellsandStedmanandCable。Itwillsoonbegone。Isupposetheywillhavetonameitbyandby。"

Hepointedouthouseshereandthereofpeoplehehadknownandvisitedinotherdays。Thedriverwasveryanxioustogofarther，tootherandmoredistinguishedsights。Clemensmildlybutfirmlyrefusedanyvariationoftheprogram，andsowekeptondrivingaroundandaroundtheshadedloopofBeaconStreetuntilduskfellandthelightsbegantotwinkleamongthetrees。

CCLXXI

DEATHOF"SAM"MOFFETT

Clemens’nextabsencefromReddingcameonAugust1，1908，whenthesuddenandshockingnewswasreceivedofthedrowningofhisnephew，SamuelE。Moffett，inthesurfoftheJerseyshore。Moffettwashisnearestmalerelative，andamanoffineintellectandtalents。Hewassuperiorinthosequalitieswhichmenlove——hewaslarge—mindedandlarge—hearted，andofnobleideals。Withmuchofthesamesenseofhumorwhichhadmadehisuncle’sfame，hehadwhatwasreallyanabnormalfacultyofacquiringandretainingencyclopedicdata。OnceasachildhehadvisitedHartfordwhenClemenswaslaboringoverhishistorygame。

Theboywasmuchinterested，andaskedpermissiontohelp。Hisunclewillinglyconsented，andreferredhimtothelibraryforhisfacts。Buthedidnotneedtoconsultthebooks；healreadyhadEnglishhistorystoredaway，andknewwheretofindeverydetailofit。AtthetimeofhisdeathMoffettheldanimportanteditorialpositiononCollier’sWeekly。

Clemenswasfondandproudofhisnephew。Returningfromthefuneral，hewasmuchdepressed，andadayortwolaterbecamereallyill。Hewasinbedforafewdays，resting，hesaid，aftertheintenseheatofthejourney。Thenhewasaboutagainandproposedbilliardsasadiversion。

Wewereallaloneoneverystill，warmAugustafternoonplaying，whenhesuddenlysaid：

"Ifeelalittledizzy；Iwillsitdownamoment。"

Ibroughthimaglassofwaterandheseemedtorecover，butwhenheroseandstartedtoplayIthoughthehadadazedlook。Hesaid：

"Ihavelostmymemory。Idon’tknowwhichismyball。Idon’tknowwhatgameweareplaying。"

Butimmediatelythisconditionpassed，andwethoughtlittleofit，consideringitmerelyaphaseofbiliousnessduetohisrecentjourney。

Ihavebeentoldsince，byeminentpractitioners，thatitwasthefirstindicationofamoreseriousmalady。

Hebecameapparentlyquitehimselfagainandshowedhisusualvigor—lightofstepandmovement，abletoskipupanddownstairsasheretofore。InalettertoMrs。Crane，August12th，hespokeofrecenthappenings：

DEARAUNTSUE，——Itwasamostmoving，amostheartbreakingsight，thespectacleofthatstunned&crushed&inconsolablefamily。I

camebackhereinbadshape，&hadabiliouscollapse，butIamallrightagain，thoughthedoctorfromNewYorkhasgivenperemptoryordersthatIamnottostirfromherebeforefrost。OfortunateSamMoffett！fortunateLivyClemens！doublyfortunateSusy！Thoseswordsgothrough&throughmyheart，butthereisneveramomentthatIamnotglad，forthesakeofthedead，thattheyhaveescaped。

HowLivywouldlovethisplace！Howherverysoulwouldsteepitselfthankfullyinthispeace，thistranquillity，thisdeepstillness，thisdreamyexpanseofwoodsyhill&valley！Youmustcome，AuntSue，&staywithusarealgoodvisit。SinceJune26wehavehad21guests，&theyhavealllikeditandsaidtheywouldcomeagain。

ToHowells，onthesameday，hewrote：

Won’tyou&Mrs。Howells&Mildredcome&giveusasmanydaysasyoucanspare&examineJohn’striumph？ItisthemostsatisfactoryhouseIamacquaintedwith，&themostsatisfactorilysituated……Ihavedismissedmystenographer，&haveentereduponaholidaywhoseotherendisthecemetery。

CCLXXII

STORMFIELDADVENTURES

Clemenshadfullydecided，bythistime，tolivetheyearroundintheretirementatStormfield，andthehouseat21FifthAvenuewasbeingdismantled。Hehadalso，ashesaid，givenuphisdictationsforthetime，atleast，aftercontinuingthem，withmoreorlessregularity，foraperiodoftwoandahalfyears，duringwhichhehadpiledupabouthalfamillionwordsofcommentandreminiscence。Hisgeneralideahadbeentoaddportionsofthismattertohisearlierbooksasthecopyrightsexpired，togivethemnewlifeandinterest，andhefeltthathehadplentynowforanysuchpurpose。

Hegavehistimemainlytohisguests，hisbilliards，andhisreading，thoughofcoursehecouldnotkeepfromwritingonthissubjectandthatasthefancymovedhim，andadrawerinoneofhisdressersbegantoaccumulatefreshthoughusuallyfragmentarymanuscripts……Hereadthedailypaper，buthenolongertookthekeen，restlessinterestinpublicaffairs。NewYorkpoliticsdidnotconcernhimanymore，andnationalpoliticsnotmuch。WhentheEveningPostwrotehimconcerningtheadvisabilityofrenominatingGovernorHugheshereplied：

Ifyouhadaskedmetwomonthsagomyanswerwouldhavebeenprompt&loud&strong：yes，IwantGovernorHughesrenominated。Butitistoolate，&mymouthisclosed。Ihavebecomeacitizen&taxpayerofConnecticut，&couldnotnow，withoutimpertinence，meddleinmatterswhicharenoneofmybusiness。Icouldnotdoitwithimpertinencewithouttrespassingonthemonopolyofanother。

HowellsspeaksofMarkTwain’s"absolutecontent"withhisnewhome，andthesearetheproperwords’toexpressit。Hewaslikeastorm—beatenshipthathaddriftedatlastintoasereneSouthSeahaven。

Thedaysbeganandendedintranquillity。Therewerenospecialmorningregulations：Onecouldhavehisbreakfastatanytimeandatalmostanyplace。Hecouldhaveitinbedifheliked，orintheloggiaorlivingroom，orbilliard—room。Hemightevenhaveitinthediningroom，orontheterrace，justoutside。Guests——therewereusuallyguests——

mightsuittheirconvenienceinthismatter——alsoastotheforenoons。

Theafternoonbroughtgames——thatis，billiards，providedtheguestknewbilliards，otherwisehearts。Thosetwogameswerehissafety—valves，andwhiletherewerenoprintedrequirementsrelatingtothemtheunwrittencodeofStormfieldprovidedthatguests，ofwhateverageorpreviousfaith，shouldengageinoneorbothofthesediversions。

Clemens，whousuallyspenthisforenooninbedwithhisreadingandhisletters，cametothegreentableofskillandchanceeagerfortheonset；

ifthefateswerekindly，heapprovedofthemopenly。Ifnot——well，thefateswereoldenoughtoknowbetter，and，asheretofore，hadtotaketheconsequences。Sometimes，whentheweatherwasfineandtherewerenogames(thiswaslikelytobeonSundayafternoons)，thereweredrivesamongthehillsandalongtheSaugatuckthroughtheBeddingGlen。

Thecatwasalways"purringonthehearth"atStormfield——severalcats——

forMarkTwain’sfondnessforthisclean，intelligentdomesticanimalremained，totheend，oneofhishappiestcharacteristics。TherewerenevertoomanycatsatStormfield，andthe"hearth"includedtheentirehouse，eventhebilliard—table。When，aswaslikelytohappenatanytimeduringthegame，thekittensSinbad，orDanbury，orBilliardswoulddecidetohopupandplaywiththeballs，orsitinthepocketsandgrabatthemastheywentby，thegamesimplyaddedthiselementofchance，andtheuninvitedplayerwasnotdisturbed。ThecatsreallyownedStormfield；anyonecouldtellthatfromtheirdeportment。MarkTwainheldthetitledeeds；butitwasDanburyandSinbadandtheothersthatpossessedthepremises。Theyoccupiedanyportionofthehouseoritsfurnishingsatwill，andtheyneverfailedtoattractattention。MarkTwainmightbepreoccupiedandindifferenttothecomingsandgoingsofothermembersofthehousehold；butnomatterwhathewasdoing，letDanburyappearintheoffingandhewasobservedandgreetedwithduedeference，andcomplimentedandmadecomfortable。ClemenswouldarisefromthetableandcarrycertainchoicefoodoutontheterracetoTammany，andbesatisfiedwithalmostnoacknowledgmentbywayofappreciation。OnecouldnotimagineanyhomeofMarkTwainwherethecatswerenotsupreme。Intheevening，asat21FifthAvenue，therewasmusic——thestatelymeasuresoftheorchestrelle——whileMarkTwainsmokedandmingledunusualspeculationwithlong，longbackwarddreams。

ItwasthreemonthsfromthedayofarrivalinReddingthatsomeguestscametoStormfieldwithoutinvitation——twoburglars，whowerecarryingoffsomebundlesofsilverwhentheywerediscovered。Claude，thebutler，firedapistolafterthemtohastentheirdeparture，andClemens，wakenedbytheshots，thoughtthefamilywasopeningchampagneandwenttosleepagain。

Itwasfarinthenight；butneighborH。A。LounsburyandDeputy—SheriffBankswerenotified，andbymorningthethieveswerecaptured，thoughonlyafteraprettydesperateencounter，duringwhichtheofficerreceivedabullet—wound。LounsburyandaStormfieldguesthadtrackedtheminthedarkwithalanterntoBethel，adistanceofsomesevenmiles。Thethieves，alsotheirpursuers，hadboardedthetrainthere。

SheriffBankswaswaitingattheWestReddingstationwhenthetraincamedown，andtherethecapturewasmade。Itwasaremarkablypromptandshrewdpieceofwork。ClemensgavecreditforitssuccesschieflytoLounsbury，whosetalentsinmanyfieldsalwaysimpressedhim。ThethievesweretakentotheReddingTownHallforapreliminaryhealing。

Subsequentlytheyreceivedseveresentences。

Clemenstackedthisnoticeonhisfrontdoor：

NOTICE

TOTHENEXTBURGLAR

Thereisnothingbutplatedwareinthishousenowandhenceforth。

Youwillfinditinthatbrassthinginthedining—roomoverinthecornerbythebasketofkittens。

Ifyouwantthebasketputthekittensinthebrassthing。Donotmakeanoise——itdisturbsthefamily。

Youwillfindrubbersinthefronthallbythatthingwhichhastheumbrellasinit，chiffonnier，Ithinktheycallit，orpergola，orsomethinglikethat。

Pleaseclosethedoorwhenyougoaway！

Verytrulyyours，S。L。CLEMENS。

CCLXXIII

STORMFIELDPHILOSOPHIES

NowcamethetranquildaysoftheConnecticutautumn。ThechangeofthelandscapecolorswasaconstantdelighttoMarkTwain。Therewereseverallargewindowsinhisroom，andhecalledthemhispicture—

gallery。Thewindow—panesweresmall，andeachformedaseparatepictureofitsownthatwaschangingalmosthourly。Theredtonesthatbegantorunthroughthefoliage；theredberrybushes；thefadinggrass，andthelittletouchesofsparklingfrostthatcameeverynowandthenatearlymorning；thebackgroundofdistantbluehillsandchangingskies—thesethingsgavehisgalleryamultitudeofvariationthatnoart—museumscouldfurnish。Heloveditall，andhelovedtowalkoutinit，pacingupanddowntheterrace，orthelongpaththatledtothepergolaatthefootofanaturalgarden。Ifafriendcame，hewaswillingtowalkmuchfarther；andweoftendescendedthehillinonedirectionoranother，thoughusuallygoingtowardthe"gorge，"aromanticspotwhereaclearbrookfounditswaythroughadeepandratherdangerous—lookingchasm。

Oncehewaspersuadedtodescendintothisfairy—likeplace，foritwaswellworthexploring；buthisfootingwasnolongersureandhedidnotgofar。

Helikedbettertositonthegrass—grown，rockyarchaboveandlookdownintoit，andlethistalkfollowhismood。Helikedtocontemplatethegeologyofhissurroundings，therecordoftheagelessperiodsofconstructionrequiredtobuildtheworld。Themarvelsofsciencealwaysappealedtohim。Hereveledinthethoughtofthealmostlimitlessstretchesoftime，themillionsuponmillionsofyearsthathadbeenrequiredforthisstratumandthat——helikedtoamazehimselfwiththesoundingfigures。IrememberhimexpressingawishtoseetheGrandCanonofArizona，where，onperpendicularwallssixthousandfeethigh，thelongstoryofgeologicalcreationiswritten。IhadstoppedthereduringmyWesterntripofthepreviousyear，andItoldhimsomethingofitswonders。Iurgedhimtoseethemforhimself，offeringtogowithhim。Hesaid：

"Ishouldenjoythat；buttherailroadjourneyissofarandIshouldhavenopeace。Thepaperswouldgetholdofit，andIwouldhavetomakespeechesandbeinterviewed，andIneverwanttodoanyofthosethingsagain。"

Isuggestedthattherailroadswouldprobablybegladtoplaceaprivatecarathisservice，sothathemighttravelincomfort；butheshookhishead。

"Thatwouldonlymakememoreconspicuous。"

"Howaboutadisguise？"

"Yes，"hesaid，"Imightputonaredwigandfalsewhiskersandchangemyname，butIcouldn’tdisguisemydrawlingspeechandthey’dfindmeout。"

Itwasamusing，butitwasrathersad，too。Hisfamehaddeprivedhimofvaluedprivileges。

Hetalkedofmanythingsduringtheselittleexcursions。Oncehetoldhowhehadsuccessivelyadvisedhisnephew，Moffett，inthematterofobtainingadesirableposition。Moffetthadwantedtobecomeareporter。

Clemensdevisedacharacteristicscheme。Hesaid：

"Iwillgetyouaplaceonanynewspaperyoumayselectifyoupromisefaithfullytofollowoutmyinstructions。"

Theapplicantagreed，eagerlyenough。Clemenssaid：

"Gotothenewspaperofyourchoice。Saythatyouareidleandwantwork，thatyouarepiningforwork——longingforit，andthatyouasknowages，andwillsupportyourself。Allthatyouaskiswork。Thatyouwilldoanything，sweep，filltheinkstands，mucilage—bottles，runerrands，andbegenerallyuseful。Youmustneveraskforwages。Youmustwaituntiltheofferofwagescomestoyou。Youmustworkjustasfaithfullyandjustaseagerlyasifyouwerebeingpaidforit。Thenseewhathappens。"

Theschemehadworkedperfectly。YoungMoffetthadfollowedhisinstructionstotheletter。Byandbyheattractedattention。Hewasemployedinavarietyofwaysthatearnedhimthegratitudeandtheconfidenceoftheoffice。Inobediencetofurtherinstructions，hebegantomakeshort，brief，unadornednoticesofsmallnewsmattersthatcameunderhiseyeandlaidthemonthecityeditor’sdesk。Nopaywasasked；

nonewasexpected。Occasionallyoneoftheitemswasused。Then，ofcourse，ithappened，asitmustsoonerorlateratabusytime，thathewasgivenasmallnewsassignment。Therewasnotroubleabouthisprogressafterthat。Hehadwontheconfidenceofthemanagementandshownthathewasnotafraidtowork。

Theplanhadbeenvariouslytriedsince，Clemenssaid，andhecouldnotrememberanycaseinwhichithadfailed。Theideamayhavegrownoutofhisownpilotapprenticeshipontheriver，whencubpilotsnotonlyreceivednosalary，butpaidfortheprivilegeoflearning。

Clemensdiscussedpublicmatterslessoftenthanformerly，buttheywerenotaltogetheroutofhismind。Hethoughtourrepublicwasinafairwaytobecomeamonarchy——thatthesignswerealreadyevident。HereferredtotheletterwhichhehadwrittensolongagoinBoston，withitsamusingfancyoftheArchbishopofDublinandhisGraceofPonkapog，anddeclaredthat，afterall，itcontainedsomethingofprophecy。——[Seechap。xcvii；alsoAppendixM。]——Hewouldnotlivetoseetheactualmonarchy，hesaid，butitwascoming。

"I’mnotexpectingitinmytimenorinmychildren’stime，thoughitmaybesoonerthanwethink。Therearetwospecialreasonsforitandonecondition。Thefirstreasonis，thatitisinthenatureofmantowantadefinitesomethingtolove，honor，reverentlylookuptoandobey；aGodandKing，forexample。Thesecondreasonis，thatwhilelittlerepublicshavelastedlong，protectedbytheirpovertyandinsignificance，greatoneshavenot。Andtheconditionis，vastpowerandwealth，whichbreedcommercialandpoliticalcorruptions，andincitepublicfavoritestodangerousambitions。"

HerepeatedwhatIhadheardhimsaybefore，thatinonesensewealreadyhadamonarchy；thatistosay，arulingpublicandpoliticalaristocracywhichcouldcreateaPresidentialsuccession。Hedidnotsaythesethingsbitterlynow，butreflectivelyandratherindifferently。

Hewasinclinedtospeakunhopefullyoftheinternationalplansforuniversalpeace，whichwerebeingagitatedratherpersistently。

"Thegospelofpeace，"hesaid，"isalwaysmakingadealofnoise，alwaysrejoicinginitsprogressbutalwaysneglectingtofurnishstatistics。

Therearenopeacefulnationsnow。AllChristendomisasoldier—camp。

ThepoorhavebeentaxedinsomenationstothestarvationpointtosupportthegiantarmamentswhichChristiangovernmentshavebuiltup，eachtoprotectitselffromtherestoftheChristianbrotherhood，andincidentallytosnatchanyscrapofrealestateleftexposedbyaweakerowner。KingLeopoldII。ofBelgium，themostintenselyChristianmonarch，exceptAlexanderVI。，thathasescapedhellthusfar，hasstolenanentirekingdominAfrica，andinfourteenyearsofChristianendeavortherehasreducedthepopulationfromthirtymillionstofifteenbymurderandmutilationandoverwork，confiscatingthelaborofthehelplessnatives，andgivingthemnothinginreturnbutsalvationandahomeinheaven，furnishedatthelastmomentbytheChristianpriest。

"WithinthelastgenerationeachChristianpowerhasturnedthebulkofitsattentiontofindingoutnewerandstillnewerandmoreandmoreeffectivewaysofkillingChristians，and，incidentally，apagannowandthen；andthesurestwaytogetrichquicklyinChrist’searthlykingdomistoinventakindofgunthatcankillmoreChristiansatoneshotthananyotherexistingkind。AlltheChristiannationsareatit。Themoreadvancedtheyare，thebiggerandmoredestructiveenginesofwartheycreate。"

Once，speakingofbattlesgreatandsmall，andhowimportantevenasmallbattlemustseemtoasoldierwhohadfoughtinnoother，hesaid：

"Tohimitisamightyachievement，anachievementwithabigA，whentoawax—wornveteranitwouldbeamereincident。Forinstance，tothesoldierofonebattle，SanJuanHillwasanAchievementwithanAasbigasthePyramidsofCheops；whereas，ifNapoleonhadfoughtit，hewouldhavesetitdownonhiscuffatthetimetokeepfromforgettingithadhappened。Butthatisallnaturalandhumanenough。Wearealllikethat。"

Thecuriositiesandabsurditiesofreligioussuperstitionsneverfailedtofurnishhimwiththemesmoreorlessamusing。IrememberoneSunday，whenhewalkeddowntohaveluncheonatmyhouse，hesatundertheshadeandfelltotalkingofHerod’sslaughteroftheinnocents，whichhesaidcouldnothavehappened。

"Tacitusmakesnomentionofit，"hesaid，"andhewouldhardlyhaveoverlookedasweepingorderlikethat，issuedbyapettyrulerlikeHerod。JustconsideralittlekingofacorneroftheRomanEmpireorderingtheslaughterofthefirst—bornofalotofRomansubjects。

Why，theEmperorwouldhavereachedoutthatlongarmofhisanddismissedHerod。ThattraditionisprobablyaboutasauthenticasthoseconnectedwithanumberofoldbridgesinEuropewhicharesaidtohavebeenbuiltbySatan。TheinhabitantsusedtogotoSatantobuildbridgesforthem，promisinghimthesoulofthefirstonethatcrossedthebridge；then，whenSatanhadthebridgedone，theywouldsendoveraroosterorajackass——acheapjackass；thatwasforSatan，andofcoursetheycouldfoolhimthatwayeverytime。Satanmusthavebeenprettysimple，evenaccordingtotheNewTestament，orhewouldn’thaveledChristuponahighmountainandofferedhimtheworldifhewouldfalldownandworshiphim。Thatwasamanifestlyabsurdproposition，becauseChrist，astheSonofGod，alreadyownedtheworld；and，besides，whatSatanshowedhimwasonlyafewrockyacresofPalestine。ItisjustasifsomeoneshouldtrytobuyRockefeller，theownerofalltheStandardOilCompany，withagallonofkerosene。"

Heoftenspokeoftheunseenforcesofcreation，theimmutablelawsthatholdtheplanetinexactcourseandbringtheyearsandtheseasonsalwaysexactlyonscheduletime。"TheGreatLaw"wasaphraseoftenonhislips。Theexquisitefoliage，thecloudshapes，thevarietiesofcoloreverywhere：thesewereforhimoutwardmanifestationsoftheGreatLaw，whoseprincipleIunderstoodtobeunity——exactrelationsthroughoutallnature；andinthisIfailedtofindanysuggestionofpessimism，butonlyofjustice。Oncehewroteonacardforpreservation：

Fromeverlastingtoeverlasting，thisisthelaw：thesumofwrong&

miseryshallalwayskeepexactstepwiththesumofhumanblessedness。

No"civilization，"no"advance，"hasevermodifiedtheseproportionsbyeventheshadowofashade，norevercan，whileourraceendures。

CCLXIV

CITIZENANDFARMER

TheprocessionofguestsatStormfieldcontinuedprettysteadily。

Clemenskeptabookinwhichvisitorssetdowntheirnamesandthedatesofarrivalanddeparture，andwhentheyfailedtoattendtothesemattershediligentlydidithimselfaftertheyweregone。

MembersoftheHarperCompanycameupwiththeirwives；"angel—fish"swaminandoutoftheaquarium；Bermudafriendscametoseethenewhome；

RobertCollier，thepublisher，andhiswife——"Mrs。Sally，"asClemenslikedtocallher——paidtheirvisits；LordNorthcliffe，wh