第94章

Duringmysojourninthedingle，myfoodhadbeenofthesimplestandmostunsatisfyingdescription，bynomeanscalculatedtosupporttheexertionwhichthelabourIhadbeenengageduponrequired；ithadconsistedofcoarseoatencakesandhardcheese，andforbeverageIhadbeenindebtedtoaneighbouringpit，inwhich，intheheatoftheday，Ifrequentlysaw，notgoldenorsilverfish，butfrogsandeftesswimmingabout。Iam，however，inclinedtobelievethatMrs。Herne’scakehadquiteasmuchtodowiththematterasinsufficientnourishment。Ihadneverentirelyrecoveredfromtheeffectsofitspoison，buthadoccasionally，especiallyatnight，beenvisitedbyagrindingpaininthestomach，andmywholebodyhadbeensuffusedwithcoldsweat；andindeedthesememorialsofthedrowhaveneverentirelydisappeared-evenatthepresenttimetheydisplaythemselvesinmysystem，especiallyaftermuchfatigueofbodyandexcitementofmind。SothereIsatinthedingleuponmystone，nervelessandhopeless，bywhatevercauseorcausesthatstatehadbeenproduced-thereIsatwithmyheadleaninguponmyhand，andsoIcontinuedalong，longtime。AtlastIliftedmyheadfrommyhand，andbegantocastanxious，unquietlooksaboutthedingle-theentirehollowwasnowenvelopedindeepshade-Icastmyeyesup；therewasagoldengleamonthetopsofthetreeswhichgrewtowardstheupperpartsofthedingle；butlowerdownallwasgloomandtwilight-yet，whenIfirstsatdownonmystone，thesunwasrightabovethedingle，illuminatingallitsdepthsbytherayswhichitcastperpendicularlydown-soImusthavesatalong，longtimeuponmystone。Andnow，oncemore，Irestedmyheaduponmyhand，butalmostinstantlylifteditagaininakindoffear，andbeganlookingattheobjectsbeforeme-theforge，thetools，thebranchesofthetrees，endeavouringtofollowtheirrows，tilltheywerelostinthedarknessofthedingle；andnowIfoundmyrighthandgraspingconvulsivelythethreefore-fingersoftheleft，firstcollectively，andthensuccessively，wringingthemtillthejointscracked；thenIbecamequiet，butnotforlong。

SuddenlyIstartedup，andcouldscarcelyrepresstheshriekwhichwasrisingtomylips。Wasitpossible？Yes，alltoocertain；theevilonewasuponme；theinscrutablehorrorwhichIhadfeltinmyboyhoodhadoncemoretakenpossessionofme。Ihadthoughtthatithadforsakenme-thatitwouldnevervisitmeagain；thatIhadoutgrownit；thatImightalmostbiddefiancetoit；andIhadevenbeguntothinkofitwithouthorror，asweareinthehabitofdoingofhorrorsofwhichweconceivewerunnodanger；andlo!

whenleastthoughtof，ithadseizedmeagain。EverymomentIfeltitgatheringforce，andmakingmemorewhollyitsown。WhatshouldIdo？-resist，ofcourse；andIdidresist。Igrasped，Itore，andstrovetoflingitfromme；butofwhatavailweremyefforts？

Icouldonlyhavegotridofitbygettingridofmyself：itwasapartofmyself，orratheritwasallmyself。Irushedamongstthetrees，andstruckatthemwithmybarefists，anddashedmyheadagainstthem，butIfeltnopain。HowcouldIfeelpainwiththathorroruponme？AndthenIflungmyselfontheground，gnawedtheearth，andswallowedit；andthenIlookedround；itwasalmosttotaldarknessinthedingle，andthedarknessaddedtomyhorror。

Icouldnolongerstaythere；upIrosefromtheground，andattemptedtoescape。AtthebottomofthewindingpathwhichleduptheacclivityIfelloversomethingwhichwaslyingontheground；thesomethingmoved，andgaveakindofwhine。Itwasmylittlehorse，whichhadmadethatplaceitslair；mylittlehorse；

myonlycompanionandfriendinthatnowawfulsolitude。Ireachedthemouthofthedingle；thesunwasjustsinkinginthefarwestbehindme，thefieldswerefloodedwithhislastgleams。Howbeautifuleverythinglookedinthelastgleamsofthesun!Ifeltrelievedforamoment；Iwasnolongerinthehorriddingle。Inanotherminutethesunwasgone，andabigcloudoccupiedtheplacewherehehadbeen：inalittletimeitwasalmostasdarkasithadpreviouslybeenintheopenpartofthedingle。Myhorrorincreased；whatwasItodo？-itwasofnousefightingagainstthehorror-thatIsaw；themoreIfoughtagainstit，thestrongeritbecame。WhatshouldIdo：saymyprayers？Ah!whynot？SoI

kneltdownunderthehedge，andsaid，’OurFather’；butthatwasofnouse；andnowIcouldnolongerrepresscries-thehorrorwastoogreattobeborne。WhatshouldIdo？runtothenearesttownorvillage，andrequesttheassistanceofmyfellow-men？No!thatIwasashamedtodo；notwithstandingthehorrorwasuponme，Iwasashamedtodothat。Iknewtheywouldconsidermeamaniac，ifI

wentscreamingamongstthem；andIdidnotwishtobeconsideredamaniac。Moreover，IknewthatIwasnotamaniac，forIpossessedallmyreasoningpowers，onlythehorrorwasuponme