第75章

’Oh，asfortheChurchofEngland，’saidMr。Platitude，’Ihavelittletosay。ThankGod，IleftallmyChurchofEnglandprejudicesinItaly。HadtheChurchofEnglandknownitstrueinterests，itwouldlongagohavesoughtareconciliationwithitsillustriousmother。IftheChurchofEnglandhadnotbeeninsomedegreeaschismaticchurch，itwouldnothavefaredsoillatthetimeofwhichyouarespeaking；therestoftheChurchwouldhavecometoitsassistance。TheIrishwouldhavehelpedit，sowouldtheFrench，sowouldthePortuguese。DisunionhasalwaysbeenthebaneoftheChurch。’

OncemoreIfellintoareverie。Mymindnowrevertedtothepast；

methoughtIwasinasmallcomfortableroomwainscotedwithoak；I

wasseatedononesideofafireplace，closebyatableonwhichwerewineandfruit；ontheothersideofthefiresatamaninaplainsuitofbrown，withthehaircombedbackfromhissomewhathighforehead；hehadapipeinhismouth，whichforsometimehesmokedgravelyandplacidly，withoutsayingaword；atlength，afterdrawingatthepipeforsometimerathervigorously，heremoveditfromhismouth，and，emittinganaccumulatedcloudofsmoke，heexclaimedinaslowandmeasuredtone，’AsIwastellingyoujustnow，mygoodchap，Ihavealwaysbeenanenemytohumbug。’

WhenIawokefrommyreverietheReverendMr。Platitudewasquittingtheapartment。

’Whoisthatperson？’saidItomyentertainer，asthedoorclosedbehindhim。

’Whoishe？’saidmyhost；’why，theReverendMr。Platitude。’

’Doesheresideinthisneighbourhood？’

’Heholdsalivingaboutthreemilesfromhere；hishistory，asfarasIamacquaintedwithit，isasfollows。Hisfatherwasarespectabletannerintheneighbouringtown，who，wishingtomakehissonagentleman，senthimtocollege。Havingneverbeenatcollegemyself，Icannotsaywhetherhetookthewisestcourse；I

believeitismoreeasytounmakethantomakeagentleman；Ihaveknownmanygentlemanlyyouthsgotocollege，andreturnanythingbutwhattheywent。YoungMr。Platitudedidnotgotocollegeagentleman，butneitherdidhereturnone：hewenttocollegeanass，andreturnedaprig；tohisoriginalfollywassuperaddedavastquantityofconceit。Hetoldhisfatherthathehadadoptedhighprinciples，andwasdeterminedtodiscountenanceeverythinglowandmean；advisedhimtoeschewtrade，andtopurchasehimaliving。Theoldmanretiredfrombusiness，purchasedhissonaliving，andshortlyafterdied，leavinghimwhatremainedofhisfortune。ThefirstthingtheReverendMr。Platitudedid，afterhisfather’sdecease，wastosendhismotherandsisterintoWalestoliveuponasmallannuity，assigningasareasonthathewasaversetoanythinglow，andthattheytalkedungrammatically。Wishingtoshineinthepulpit，henowpreachedhighsermons，ashecalledthem，interspersedwithscrapsoflearning。Hissermonsdidnot，however，procurehimmuchpopularity；onthecontrary，hischurchsoonbecamenearlydeserted，thegreaterpartofhisflockgoingovertocertaindissentingpreachers，whohadshortlybeforemadetheirappearanceintheneighbourhood。Mr。Platitudewasfilledwithwrath，andabusedDissentersinmostunmeasuredterms。Comingincontactwithsomeofthepreachersatapubli