第19章

HethenproceededtoreadachapterfromtheBible；afterwhichhetookhisleavewiththesameaffectionatekindnesswithwhichhehadgreetedme，havingrepeatedhisdesirethatIshouldconsidereverythinginhishouseasaltogetheratmydisposal。ItisneedlesstosaythatI

wasmuchpleasedwithmyuncle——itwasimpossibletoavoidbeingso；andIcouldnothelpsayingtomyself，ifsuchamanasthisisnotsafefromtheassaultsofslander，whois？IfeltmuchhappierthanIhaddonesincemyfather’sdeath，andenjoyedthatnightthefirstrefreshingsleepwhichhadvisitedmesincethatevent。

Mycuriosityrespectingmymalecousindidnotlongremainunsatisfied——heappearedthenextdayatdinner。Hismanners，thoughnotsocoarseasIhadexpected，wereexceedinglydisagreeable；

therewasanassuranceandaforwardnessforwhichIwasnotprepared；therewaslessofthevulgarityofmanner，andalmostmoreofthatofthemind，thanI

hadanticipated。Ifeltquiteuncomfortableinhispresence；therewasjustthatconfidenceinhislookandtonewhichwouldreadencouragementeveninmeretoleration；andIfeltmoredisgustedandannoyedatthecoarseandextravagantcomplimentswhichhewaspleasedfromtimetotimetopayme，thanperhapstheextentoftheatrocitymightfullyhavewarranted。Itwas，however，oneconsolationthathedidnotoftenappear，beingmuchengrossedbypursuitsaboutwhichI

neitherknewnorcaredanything；butwhenhedidappear，hisattentions，eitherwithaviewtohisamusementortosomemoreseriousadvantage，weresoobviouslyandperseveringlydirectedtome，thatyoungandinexperiencedasIwas，even_I_

couldnotbeignorantofhispreference。I

feltmoreprovokedbythisodiouspersecutionthanIcanexpress，anddiscouragedhimwithsomuchvigour，thatIemployedevenrudenesstoconvincehimthathisassiduitieswereunwelcome；butallinvain。

Thishadgoneonfornearlyatwelve-

month，tomyinfiniteannoyance，whenonedayasIwassittingatsomeneedle-workwithmycompanionEmily，aswasmyhabit，intheparlour，thedooropened，andmycousinEdwardenteredtheroom。

Therewassomething，Ithought，oddinhismanner——akindofstrugglebetweenshameandimpudence——akindofflurryandambiguitywhichmadehimappear，ifpossible，morethanordinarilydisagreeable。

’Yourservant，ladies，’hesaid，seatinghimselfatthesametime；’sorrytospoilyourtete-a-tete，butnevermind，I’llonlytakeEmily’splaceforaminuteortwo；

andthenwepartforawhile，faircousin。

Emily，myfatherwantsyouinthecornerturret。Noshilly-shally；he’sinahurry。’

Shehesitated。’Beoff——tramp，march!’

heexclaimed，inatonewhichthepoorgirldarednotdisobey。

Shelefttheroom，andEdwardfollowedhertothedoor。Hestoodthereforaminuteortwo，asifreflectingwhatheshouldsay，perhapssatisfyinghimselfthatnoonewaswithinhearinginthehall。

Atlengthheturnedabout，havingclosedthedoor，asifcarelessly，withhisfoot；andadvancingslowly，asifindeepthought，hetookhisseatatthesideofthetableoppositetomine。

Therewasabriefintervalofsilence，afterwhichhesaid：

’Iimaginethatyouhaveashrewdsuspicionoftheobjectofmyearlyvisit；butIsupposeImustgointoparticulars。

MustI？’

’Ihavenoconception，’Ireplied，’whatyourobjectmaybe。’

’Well，well，’saidhe，becomingmoreathiseaseasheproceeded，’itmaybetoldinafewwords。Youknowthatitistotallyimpossible——quiteoutofthequestion——

thatanoffhandyoungfellowlikeme，andagood-lookinggirllikeyourself，couldmeetcontinually，asyouandIhavedone，withoutanattachment——alikinggrowingupononesideorother；inshort，IthinkIhaveletyouknowasplainasifIspokeit，thatIhavebeeninlovewithyoualmostfromthefirsttimeIsawyou。’

Hepaused；butIwastoomuchhorrifiedtospeak。Heinterpretedmysilencefavourably。

’Icantellyou，’hecontinued，’I’mreckonedratherhardtoplease，andveryhardtoHIT。Ican’tsaywhenIwastakenwithagirlbefore；soyouseefortunereservedme——’

Heretheodiouswretchwoundhisarmroundmywaist。Theactionatoncerestoredmetoutterance，andwiththemostindignantvehemenceIreleasedmyselffromhishold，andatthesametimesaid：

’Ihavenotbeeninsensible，sir，ofyourmostdisagreeableattentions——theyhavelongbeenasourceofmuchannoyancetome；andyoumustbeawarethatIhavemarkedmydisapprobation——mydisgust——

asunequivocallyasIpossiblycould，withoutactualindelicacy。’

Ipaused，almostoutofbreathfromtherapiditywithwhichIhadspoken；andwithoutgivinghimtimetorenewtheconversation，Ihastilyquittedtheroom，leavinghiminaparoxysmofrageandmortification。AsIascendedthestairs，Iheardhimopentheparlour-doorwithviolence，andtaketwoorthreerapidstridesinthedirectioninwhichIwasmoving。I

wasnowmuchfrightened，andranthewholewayuntilIreachedmyroom；andhavinglockedthedoor，Ilistenedbreathlessly，butheardnosound。Thisrelievedmeforthepresent；butsomuchhadI

beenovercomebytheagitationandannoyanceattendantuponthescenewhichIhadjustgonethrough，thatwhenmycousinEmilyknockedatmydoor，Iwasweepinginstronghysterics。

Youwillreadilyconceivemydistress，whenyoureflectuponmystrongdisliketomycousinEdward，combinedwithmyyouthandextremeinexperience。Anyproposalofsuchanaturemusthaveagitatedme；butthatitshouldhavecomefromthemanwhomofallothersImostloathedandabhorred，andtowhomIhad，asclearlyasmannercoulddoit，expressedthestateofmyfeelings，wasalmosttoooverwhelmingtobeborne。Itwasacalamity，too，inwhichIcouldnotclaimthesym-

pathyofmycousinEmily，whichhadalwaysbeenextendedtomeinmyminorgrievances。StillIhopedthatitmightnotbeunattendedwithgood；forI

thoughtthatoneinevitableandmostwelcomeconsequencewouldresultfromthispainfuleclaircissment，inthediscontinuanceofmycousin’sodiouspersecution。

WhenIarosenextmorning，itwaswiththeferventhopethatImightneveragainbeholdtheface，orevenhearthename，ofmycousinEdward；butsuchaconsummation，thoughdevoutlytobewished，washardlylikelytooccur。Thepainfulimpressionsofyesterdayweretoovividtobeatonceerased；andIcouldnothelpfeelingsomedimforebodingofcomingannoyanceandevil。

Toexpectonmycousin’spartanythinglikedelicacyorconsiderationforme，wasoutofthequestion。Isawthathehadsethisheartuponmyproperty，andthathewasnotlikelyeasilytoforegosuchanacquisition——possessingwhatmighthavebeenconsideredopportunitiesandfacilitiesalmosttocompelmycompliance。

Inowkeenlyfelttheunreasonablenessofmyfather’sconductinplacingmetoresidewithafamilyofallwhosemembers，withoneexception，hewaswhollyignorant，andIbitterlyfeltthehelplessnessofmysituation。Idetermined，however，incaseofmycousin’sperseveringinhisaddresses，tolayalltheparticularsbeforemyuncle，althoughhehadneverinkindnessorintimacygoneastepbeyondourfirstinterview，andtothrowmyselfuponhishospitalityandhissenseofhonourforprotectionagainstarepetitionofsuchscenes。

Mycousin’sconductmayappeartohavebeenaninadequatecauseforsuchseriousuneasiness；butmyalarmwascausedneitherbyhisactsnorwords，butentirelybyhismanner，whichwasstrangeandevenintimidatingtoexcess。Atthebeginningoftheyesterday’sinterviewtherewasasortofbullyingswaggerinhisair，whichtowardstheendgaveplacetothebrutalvehemenceofanundisguisedruffian——atransitionwhichhadtemptedmeintoabeliefthathemightseekevenforciblytoextortfrommeaconsenttohiswishes，orbymeansstillmorehorrible，ofwhichI

scarcelydaredtotrustmyselftothink，topossesshimselfofmyproperty。

Iwasearlynextdaysummonedtoattendmyuncleinhisprivateroom，whichlayinacornerturretoftheoldbuilding；andthitherIaccordinglywent，wonderingallthewaywhatthisunusualmeasuremightprelude。WhenIenteredtheroom，hedidnotriseinhisusualcourteouswaytogreetme，butsimplypointedtoachairoppositetohisown。Thisbodednothingagreeable。Isatdown，however，silentlywaitinguntilheshouldopentheconversation。

’LadyMargaret，’atlengthhesaid，inatoneofgreatersternnessthanIthoughthimcapableofusing，’Ihavehithertospokentoyouasafriend，butIhavenotforgottenthatIamalsoyourguardian，andthatmyauthorityassuchgivesmearighttocontrolyourconduct。Ishallputaquestiontoyou，andIexpectandwilldemandaplain，directanswer。HaveIrightlybeeninformedthatyouhavecon-

temptuouslyrejectedthesuitandhandofmysonEdward？’

Istammeredforthwithagooddealoftrepidation：

’Ibelieve——thatis，Ihave，sir，rejectedmycousin’sproposals；andmycoldnessanddiscouragementmighthaveconvincedhimthatIhaddeterminedtodoso。’

’Madam，’repliedhe，withsuppressed，but，asitappearedtome，intenseanger，’IhavelivedlongenoughtoknowthatCOLDNESSanddiscouragement，andsuchterms，formthecommoncantofaworthlesscoquette。Youknowtothefull，aswellasI，thatCOLDNESSANDDISCOURAGEMENT

maybesoexhibitedastoconvincetheirobjectthatheisneitherdistastefulorindifferenttothepersonwhowearsthismanner。Youknow，too，nonebetter，thatanaffectedneglect，whenskilfullymanaged，isamongstthemostformidableoftheengineswhichartfulbeautycanemploy。

Itellyou，madam，thathaving，withoutonewordspokenindiscouragement，permittedmyson’smostmarkedattentionsforatwelvemonthormore，youhavenorighttodismisshimwithnofurtherexplanationthandemurelytellinghimthatyouhadalwayslookedcoldlyuponhim；

andneitheryourwealthnoryourLADYSHIP’

(therewasanemphasisofscornontheword，whichwouldhavebecomeSirGilesOverreachhimself)’canwarrantyouintreatingwithcontempttheaffectionateregardofanhonestheart。’

Iwastoomuchshockedatthisundisguisedattempttobullymeintoanacquiescenceintheinterestedandunprincipledplanfortheirownaggrandisement，whichInowperceivedmyuncleandhissontohavedeliberatelyenteredinto，atoncetofindstrengthorcollectednesstoframeananswertowhathehadsaid。AtlengthI

replied，withsomefirmness：

’Inallthatyouhavejustnowsaid，sir，youhavegrosslymisstatedmyconductandmotives。Yourinformationmusthavebeenmostincorrectasfarasitregardsmyconducttowardsmycousin；mymannertowardshimcouldhaveconveyednothingbutdislike；andifanythingcouldhaveaddedtothestrongaversionwhichI

havelongfelttowardshim，itwouldbehisattemptingthustotrickandfrightenmeintoamarriagewhichheknowstoberevoltingtome，andwhichissoughtbyhimonlyasameansforsecuringtohimselfwhateverpropertyismine。’

AsIsaidthis，Ifixedmyeyesuponthoseofmyuncle，buthewastoooldintheworld’swaystofalterbeneaththegazeofmoresearchingeyesthanmine；hesimplysaid：

’Areyouacquaintedwiththeprovisionsofyourfather’swill？’

Iansweredintheaffirmative；andhecontinued：

’ThenyoumustbeawarethatifmysonEdwardwere——whichGodforbid——theunprincipled，recklessmanyoupretendtothinkhim’——(herehespokeveryslowly，asifheintendedthateverywordwhichescapedhimshouldberegisteredinmymemory，whileatthesametimetheexpressionofhiscountenanceunderwentagradualbuthorriblechange，andtheeyeswhichhefixeduponmebecamesodarklyvivid，thatIalmostlostsightofeverythingelse)——’ifhewerewhatyouhavedescribedhim，thinkyou，girl，hecouldfindnobriefermeansthanweddingcontractstogainhisends？’twasbuttogripeyourslenderneckuntilthebreathhadstopped，andlands，andlakes，andallwerehis。’

Istoodstaringathimformanyminutesafterhehadceasedtospeak，fascinatedbytheterribleserpent-likegaze，untilhecontinuedwithawelcomechangeofcountenance：

’Iwillnotspeakagaintoyouuponthis——topicuntilonemonthhaspassed。Youshallhavetimetoconsidertherelativeadvantagesofthetwocourseswhichareopentoyou。Ishouldbesorrytohurryyoutoadecision。Iamsatisfiedwithhavingstatedmyfeelingsuponthesubject，andpointedouttoyouthepathofduty。