第15章

Abouttheyear17——，havingbeenappointedtothelivingofC——h，I

rentedasmallhouseinthetown，whichbearsthesamename：onemorninginthemonthofNovember，Iwasawakenedbeforemyusualtimebymyservant，whobustledintomybedroomforthepurposeofannouncingasickcall。AstheCatholicChurchholdsherlastritestobetotallyindispensabletothesafetyofthedepartingsinner，noconscientiousclergymancanaffordamoment’sunnecessarydelay，andinlittlemorethanfiveminutesIstoodreadycloakedandbootedfortheroad，inthesmallfrontparlour，inwhichthemessenger，whowastoactasmyguide，awaitedmycoming。Ifoundapoorlittlegirlcryingpiteouslynearthedoor，andaftersomeslightdifficultyIascertainedthatherfatherwaseitherdeadorjustdying。

’Andwhatmaybeyourfather’sname，mypoorchild？’saidI。Shehelddownherhead，asifashamed。Irepeatedthequestion，andthewretchedlittlecreatureburstintofloodsoftearsstillmorebitterthanshehadshedbefore。Atlength，almostprovokedbyconductwhichappearedtomesounreasonable，Ibegantolosepatience，spiteofthepitywhichI

couldnothelpfeelingtowardsher，andI

saidratherharshly：

’Ifyouwillnottellmethenameofthepersontowhomyouwouldleadme，yoursilencecanarisefromnogoodmotive，andImightbejustifiedinrefusingtogowithyouatall。’

’Oh，don’tsaythat——don’tsaythat!’

criedshe。’Oh，sir，itwasthatIwasafeardofwhenIwouldnottellyou——I

wasafeard，whenyouheardhisname，youwouldnotcomewithme；butitisnousehidin’itnow——it’sPatConnell，thecarpenter，yourhonour。’

Shelookedinmyfacewiththemostearnestanxiety，asifherveryexistencedependeduponwhatsheshouldreadthere；

butIrelievedheratonce。Thename，indeed，wasmostunpleasantlyfamiliartome；but，howeverfruitlessmyvisitsandadvicemighthavebeenatanothertime，thepresentwastoofearfulanoccasiontosuffermydoubtsoftheirutilityormyreluctancetore-attemptingwhatappearedahopelesstasktoweighevenagainstthelightestchancethataconsciousnessofhisimminentdangermightproduceinhimamoredocileandtractabledisposition。

AccordinglyItoldthechildtoleadtheway，andfollowedherinsilence。Shehurriedrapidlythroughthelongnarrowstreetwhichformsthegreatthoroughfareofthetown。Thedarknessofthehour，renderedstilldeeperbythecloseapproachoftheold-fashionedhouses，whichloweredintallobscurityoneithersideoftheway；

thedamp，drearychillwhichrenderstheadvanceofmorningpeculiarlycheerless，combinedwiththeobjectofmywalk，tovisitthedeath-bedofapresumptuoussinner，toendeavour，almostagainstmyownconviction，toinfuseahopeintotheheartofadyingreprobate——adrunkardbuttooprobablyperishingundertheconsequencesofsomemadfitofintoxication；

allthesecircumstancesunitedservedtoenhancethegloomandsolemnityofmyfeelings，asIsilentlyfollowedmylittleguide，whowithquickstepstraversedtheunevenpavementofthemainstreet。

Afterawalkofaboutfiveminutessheturnedoffintoanarrowlane，ofthatobscureandcomfortlessclasswhichistobefoundinalmostallsmallold-

fashionedtowns，chill，withoutventilation，reekingwithallmannerofoffensiveeffluviae，andlinedbydingy，smoky，sicklyandpent-upbuildings，frequentlynotonlyinawretchedbutinadangerouscondition。

’YourfatherhaschangedhisabodesinceIlastvisitedhim，and，Iamafraid，muchfortheworse，’saidI。

’Indeedhehas，sir；butwemustnotcomplain，’repliedshe。’WehavetothankGodthatwehavelodgingandfood，thoughit’spoorenough，itis，yourhonour。’

Poorchild!thoughtI，howmanyanolderheadmightlearnwisdomfromthee——howmanyaluxuriousphilosopher，whoisskilledtopreachbutnottosuffer，mightnotthypatientwordsputtotheblush!Themannerandlanguageofthischildwerealikeaboveheryearsandstation；and，indeed，inallcasesinwhichthecaresandsorrowsoflifehaveanticipatedtheirusualdate，andhavefallen，astheysometimesdo，withmelancholyprematuritytothelotofchildhood，Ihaveobservedtheresulttohaveproveduniformlythesame。Ayoungmind，towhichjoyandindulgencehavebeenstrangers，andtowhichsufferingandself-denialhavebeenfamiliarisedfromthefirst，acquiresasolidityandanelevationwhichnootherdisciplinecouldhavebestowed，andwhich，inthepresentcase，communicatedastrikingbutmournfulpeculiaritytothemanners，eventothevoice，ofthechild。Wepausedbeforeanarrow，crazydoor，whichsheopenedbymeansofalatch，andweforthwithbegantoascendthesteepandbrokenstairswhichledupwardstothesickman’sroom。

Aswemountedflightafterflighttowardsthegarret-floor，Iheardmoreandmoredistinctlythehurriedtalkingofmanyvoices。Icouldalsodistinguishthelowsobbingofafemale。Onarrivingupontheuppermostlobbythesesoundsbecamefullyaudible。

’Thisway，yourhonour，’saidmylittleconductress；atthesametime，pushingopenadoorofpatchedandhalf-rottenplank，sheadmittedmeintothesqualidchamberofdeathandmisery。Butonecandle，heldinthefingersofascaredandhaggard-lookingchild，wasburningintheroom，andthatsodimthatallwastwilightordarknessexceptwithinitsimmediateinfluence。Thegeneralobscurity，however，servedtothrowintoprominentandstartlingreliefthedeath-bedanditsoccupant。Thelightwasnearlyapproximatedto，andfellwithhorribleclearnessupon，theblueandswollenfeaturesofthedrunkard。Ididnotthinkitpossiblethatahumancountenancecouldlooksoterrific。

Thelipswereblackanddrawnapart；theteethwerefirmlyset；theeyesalittleunclosed，andnothingbutthewhitesappearing。

Everyfeaturewasfixedandlivid，andthewholefaceworeaghastlyandrigidexpressionofdespairingterrorsuchasI

neversawequalled。Hishandswerecrosseduponhisbreast，andfirmlyclenched；while，asiftoaddtothecorpse-likeeffectofthewhole，somewhitecloths，dippedinwater，werewoundabouttheforeheadandtemples。

AssoonasIcouldremovemyeyesfromthishorriblespectacle，IobservedmyfriendDr。D——，oneofthemosthumaneofahumaneprofession，standingbythebedside。

Hehadbeenattempting，butunsuccessfully，tobleedthepatient，andhadnowappliedhisfingertothepulse。

’Isthereanyhope？’Iinquiredinawhisper。

Ashakeoftheheadwasthereply。

Therewasapausewhilehecontinuedtoholdthewrist；buthewaitedinvainforthethroboflife——itwasnotthere：andwhenheletgothehand，itfellstifflybackintoitsformerpositionupontheother。

’Themanisdead，’saidthephysician，asheturnedfromthebedwheretheterriblefigurelay。

Dead!thoughtI，scarcelyventuringtolookuponthetremendousandrevoltingspectacle。Dead!withoutanhourforrepentance，evenamomentforreflection；

deadIwithouttheriteswhicheventhebestshouldhave。Isthereahopeforhim？Theglaringeyeball，thegrinningmouth，thedistortedbrow——thatunutterablelookinwhichapainterwouldhavesoughttoembodythefixeddespairofthenethermosthell。Theseweremyanswer。

Thepoorwifesatatalittledistance，cryingasifherheartwouldbreak——theyoungerchildrenclusteredroundthebed，lookingwithwonderingcuriosityupontheformofdeathneverseenbefore。

Whenthefirsttumultofuncontrollablesorrowhadpassedaway，availingmyselfofthesolemnityandimpressivenessofthescene，Idesiredtheheart-strickenfamilytoaccompanymeinprayer，andallkneltdownwhileIsolemnlyandferventlyrepeatedsomeofthoseprayerswhichappearedmostapplicabletotheoccasion。I

employedmyselfthusinamannerwhich，Itrusted，wasnotunprofitable，atleasttotheliving，forabouttenminutes；andhavingaccomplishedmytask，Iwasthefirsttoarise。

Ilookeduponthepoor，sobbing，helplesscreatureswhokneltsohumblyaroundme，andmyheartbledforthem。WithanaturaltransitionIturnedmyeyesfromthemtothebedinwhichthebodylay；

and，greatGod!whatwastherevulsion，thehorrorwhichIexperiencedonseeingthecorpse-liketerrificthingseatedhalfuprightbeforeme；thewhiteclothswhichhadbeenwoundabouttheheadhadnowpartlyslippedfromtheirposition，andwerehangingingrotesquefestoonsaboutthefaceandshoulders，whilethedistortedeyesleeredfromamidthem——

’Asighttodreamof，nottotell。’

Istoodactuallyrivetedtothespot。Thefigurenoddeditsheadandlifteditsarm，Ithought，withamenacinggesture。A

thousandconfusedandhorriblethoughtsatoncerusheduponmymind。Ihadoftenreadthatthebodyofapresumptuoussinner，who，duringlife，hadbeenthewillingcreatureofeverysatanicimpulse，afterthehumantenanthaddesertedit，hadbeenknowntobecomethehorriblesportofdemoniacpossession。

IwasrousedfromthestupefactionofterrorinwhichIstood，bythepiercingscreamofthemother，whonow，forthefirsttime，perceivedthechangewhichhadtakenplace。Sherushedtowardsthebed，butstunnedbytheshock，andovercomebytheconflictofviolentemotions，beforeshereacheditshefellprostrateuponthefloor。

IamperfectlyconvincedthathadInotbeenstartledfromthetorpidityofhorrorinwhichIwasboundbysomepowerfulandarousingstimulant，IshouldhavegazeduponthisunearthlyapparitionuntilIhadfairlylostmysenses。Asitwas，however，thespellwasbroken——superstitiongavewaytoreason：themanwhomallbelievedtohavebeenactuallydeadwasliving!

Dr。D——wasinstantlystandingbythebedside，anduponexaminationhefoundthatasuddenandcopiousflowofbloodhadtakenplacefromthewoundwhichthelancethadleft；andthis，nodoubt，hadeffectedhissuddenandalmostpreternaturalrestorationtoanexistencefromwhichallthoughthehadbeenforeverremoved。Themanwasstillspeechless，butheseemedtounderstandthephysicianwhenheforbidhisrepeatingthepainfulandfruitlessattemptswhichhemadetoarticulate，andheatonceresignedhimselfquietlyintohishands。

Ileftthepatientwithleechesuponhistemples，andbleedingfreely，apparentlywithlittleofthedrowsinesswhichaccompaniesapoplexy；indeed，Dr。D——toldmethathehadneverbeforewitnessedaseizurewhichseemedtocombinethesymptomsofsomanykinds，andyetwhichbelongedtononeoftherecognisedclasses；itcertainlywasnotapoplexy，catalepsy，nordeliriumtremens，andyetitseemed，insomedegree，topartakeofthepropertiesofall。Itwasstrange，butstrangerthingsarecoming。

DuringtwoorthreedaysDr。D——

wouldnotallowhispatienttoconverseinamannerwhichcouldexciteorexhausthim，withanyone；hesufferedhimmerelyasbrieflyaspossibletoexpresshisimmediatewants。Anditwasnotuntilthefourthdayaftermyearlyvisit，theparticularsofwhichIhavejustdetailed，thatitwasthoughtexpedientthatIshouldseehim，andthenonlybecauseitappearedthathisextremeimportunityandimpatiencetomeetmewerelikelytoretardhisrecoverymorethanthemereexhaustionattendantuponashortconversationcouldpossiblydo；perhaps，too，myfriendentertainedsomehopethatifbyholyconfessionhispatient’sbosomwereeasedoftheperilousstuffwhichnodoubtoppressedit，hisrecoverywouldbemoreassuredandrapid。Itwasthen，asI

havesaid，uponthefourthdayaftermyfirstprofessionalcall，thatIfoundmyselfoncemoreinthedrearychamberofwantandsickness。

Themanwasinbed，andappearedlowandrestless。Onmyenteringtheroomheraisedhimselfinthebed，andmuttered，twiceorthrice：

’ThankGod!thankGod!’

Isignedtothoseofhisfamilywhostoodbytoleavetheroom，andtookachairbesidethebed。Sosoonaswewerealone，hesaid，ratherdoggedly：

’There’snouseintellingmeofthesinfulnessofbadways——Iknowitall。I

knowwheretheyleadto——Iseeneverythingaboutitwithmyowneyesight，asplainasIseeyou。’Herolledhimselfinthebed，asiftohidehisfaceintheclothes；andthensuddenlyraisinghimself，heexclaimedwithstartlingvehemence：

’Look，sir!thereisnouseinmincingthematter：I’mblastedwiththefiresofhell；

Ihavebeeninhell。Whatdoyouthinkofthat？Inhell——I’mlostforever——I

havenotachance。Iamdamnedalready——damned——damned!’

Theendofthissentenceheactuallyshouted。Hisvehemencewasperfectlyterrific；hethrewhimselfback，andlaughed，andsobbedhysterically。I

pouredsomewaterintoatea-cup，andgaveittohim。Afterhehadswallowedit，Itoldhimifhehadanythingtocommunicate，todosoasbrieflyashecould，andinamanneraslittleagitatingtohimselfaspossible；threateningatthesametime，thoughIhadnointentionofdoingso，toleavehimatonce，incaseheagaingavewaytosuchpassionateexcitement。

’It’sonlyfoolishness，’hecontinued，’formetotrytothankyouforcomingtosuchavillainasmyselfatall。It’snouseformetowishgoodtoyou，ortoblessyou；

forsuchasmehasnoblessingstogive。’