第11章

’Iamthegentlemanyouname，’saidO’Connor；’andasyouappearimpatient，wehadbetterproceedtoyourcommissionwithoutdelay。’

’Then，Mr。O’Connor，youwillpleasetoreadthatnote，’saidthecaptain，placingasealedpaperinhishand。

O’Connorreaditthrough，andthenobserved：

’Thisisveryextraordinaryindeed。

Thisnoteappearstomeperfectlyunaccountable。’

’Youareveryyoung，Mr。O’Connor，’

saidthecaptain，withvulgarfamiliarity；

’but，withoutmuchexperienceinthesematters，Ithinkyoumighthaveanticipatedsomethinglikethis。Youknowtheoldsaying，“Secondthoughtsarebest；“andsotheyareliketoprove，byG——!’

’Youwillhavenoobjection，CaptainM’Creagh，onthepartofyourfriend，tomyreadingthisnotetothesegentlemen；

theyarebothconfidentialfriendsofmine，andoneofthemhasalreadyactedformeinthisbusiness。’

’Icanhavenoobjection，’repliedthecaptain，’toyourdoingwhatyoupleasewithyourown。IhavenothingmoretodowiththatnoteonceIputitsafeintoyourhand；andwhenthatisoncedone，itisallonetome，ifyoureadittohalftheworld——that’sYOURconcern，andnoaffairofmine。’

O’Connorthenreadthefollowing：

’Mr。Fitzgeraldbegsleavetostate，thatuponre-perusingMr。O’Connor’scommunicationofthismorningcarefully，withanexperiencedfriend，heisforcedtoconsiderhimselfaschallenged。Hisfriend，CaptainM’Creagh，hasbeenempoweredbyhimtomakeallthenecessaryarrangements。

’T——Inn，Thursday。’

IcanhardlydescribetheastonishmentwithwhichIheardthisnote。Iturnedtothecaptain，andsaid：

’Surely，sir，thereissomemistakeinallthis？’

’Nottheslightest，I’llassureyou，sir。’

saidhe，coolly；’thecaseisaveryclearone，andIthinkmyfriendhasprettywellmadeuphisminduponit。MayI

requestyouranswer？’hecontinued，turningtoO’Connor；’timeisprecious，youknow。’

O’Connorexpressedhiswillingnesstocomplywiththesuggestion，andinafewminuteshadfoldedanddirectedthefollowingrejoinder：

’Mr。O’ConnorhavingreceivedasatisfactoryexplanationfromMr。

Fitzgerald，ofthelanguageusedbythatgentleman，feelsthattherenolongerexistsanygroundsformisunderstanding，andwishesfurthertostate，thatthenoteofwhichMr。Fitzgeraldspeakswasnotintendedasachallenge。’

Withthisnotethecaptaindeparted；andaswedidnotdoubtthatthemessagewhichhehaddeliveredhadbeensuggestedbysomeunintentionalmisconstructionofO’Connor’sfirstbillet，wefeltassuredthattheconclusionofhislastnotewouldsetthematteratrest。Inthisbelief，however，weweremistaken；beforewehadleftthetable，andinanincrediblyshorttime，thecaptainreturned。Heenteredtheroomwithacountenanceevidentlytaskedtoavoidexpressingthesatisfactionwhichaconsciousnessofthenatureofhismissionhadconferred；butinspiteofallhiseffortstolookgravelyunconcerned，therewasatwinkleinthesmallgreyeye，andanalmostimperceptiblemotioninthecornerofthemouth，whichsufficientlybetrayedhisinternalglee，asheplacedanoteinthehandofO’Connor。Astheyoungmancasthiseyeoverit，hecoloureddeeply，andturningtoM’Donough，hesaid：

’Youwillhavethegoodnesstomakeallthenecessaryarrangementsforameeting。

SomethinghasoccurredtorenderonebetweenmeandMr。Fitzgeraldinevitable。Understandmeliterally，whenIsaythatitisnowtotallyimpossiblethatthisaffairshouldbeamicablyarranged。

Youwillhavethegoodness，M’Donough，toletmeknowassoonasalltheparticularsarearranged。Purcell，’hecontinued，’willyouhavethekindnesstoaccompanyme？’andhavingbowedtoM’Creagh，welefttheroom。

AsIclosedthedoorafterme，Iheardthecaptainlaugh，andthoughtIcoulddistinguishthewords——’By——IknewFitzgeraldwouldbringhimtohiswayofthinkingbeforehestopped。’

IfollowedO’Connorintohisstudy，andonentering，thedoorbeingclosed，heshowedmethecommunicationwhichhaddeterminedhimuponhostilities。Itslanguagewasgrosslyimpertinent，anditconcludedbyactuallythreateningto’POST’

him，incasehefurtherattempted’tobeOFF。’IcannotdescribetheagonyofindignationinwhichO’Connorwrithedunderthisinsult。Hesaidrepeatedlythat’hewasadegradedanddishohouredman，’

that’hewasdraggedintothefield，’that’therewasignominyintheverythoughtthatsuchalettershouldhavebeendirectedtohim。’ItwasinvainthatIreasonedagainstthisimpression；theconvictionthathehadbeendisgracedhadtakenpossessionofhismind。HesaidagainandagainthatnothingbuthisDEATHcouldremovethestainwhichhisindecisionhadcastuponthenameofhisfamily。I

hurriedtothehall，onhearingM’Donoughandthecaptainpassing，andreachedthedoorjustintimetohearthelattersay，ashemountedhishorse：

’Alltherestcanbearrangedonthespot；andsofarewell，Mr。M’Donough——

we’llmeetatPhilippi，youknow；’andwiththisclassicalallusion，whichwasaccompaniedwithagrinandabow，andprobablyservedmanysuchoccasions，thecaptaintookhisdeparture。

M’Donoughbrieflystatedthefewparticularswhichhadbeenarranged。Thepartiesweretomeetatthestand-house，intherace-ground，whichlayataboutanequaldistancebetweenCastleConnorandthetownofT。Thehourappointedwashalf-pastfiveonthenextmorning，atwhichtimethetwilightwouldbesufficientlyadvancedtoaffordadistinctview；

andtheweaponstobeemployedwerePISTOLS——M’Creaghhavingclaimed，onthepartofhisfriend，alltheadvantagesoftheCHALLENGEDparty，andhaving，consequently，insisteduponthechoiceof’TOOLS，’asheexpressedhimself；anditwasfurtherstipulatedthattheutmostsecrecyshouldbeobserved，asFitzgeraldwouldincurgreatriskfromtheviolenceofthepeasantry，incasetheaffairtookwind。

Theseconditionswere，ofcourse，agreeduponbyO’Connor，andM’Donoughleftthecastle，havingappointedfouro’clockuponthenextmorningasthehourofhisreturn，bywhichtimeitwouldbehisbusinesstoprovideeverythingnecessaryforthemeeting。Onhisdeparture，O’Connorrequestedmetoremainwithhimuponthatevening，sayingthat’hecouldnotbeartobealonewithhismother。’Itwastomeamostpainfulrequest，butatthesametimeonewhichI

couldnotthinkofrefusing。Ifelt，however，thatthedifficultyatleastofthetaskwhichIhadtoperformwouldbeinsomemeasuremitigatedbythearrivaloftworelationsofO’Connoruponthatevening。

’Itisveryfortunate，’saidO’Connor，whosethoughtshadbeenrunninguponthesamesubject，’thattheO’Gradyswillbewithusto-night；theirgaietyandgood-humourwillrelieveusfromaheavytask。Itrustthatnothingmayoccurtopreventtheircoming。’Ferventlyconcurringinthesamewish，IaccompaniedO’Connorintotheparlour，theretoawaitthearrivalofhismother。

GodgrantthatImayneverspendsuchanotherevening!TheO’GradysDIDcome，buttheirhighandnoisyspirits，sofarfromrelievingme，didbutgiveadditionalgloomtothedespondency，Imightsaythedespair，whichfilledmyheartwithmisery——

theterribleforebodingswhichIcouldnotforaninstantsilence，turnedtheirlaughterintodiscord，andseemedtomockthesmilesandjestsoftheunconsciousparty。WhenIturnedmyeyesuponthemother，I

thoughtIneverhadseenherlooksoproudlyandsolovinglyuponhersonbefore——itcutmetotheheart——oh，howcruellyIwasdeceivingher!Iwasahundredtimesontheverypointofstart-

ingup，and，atallhazards，declaringtoherhowmatterswere；butotherfeelingssubduedmybetteremotions。Oh，whatmonstersarewemadeofbythefashionsoftheworld!howareourkindlierandnoblerfeelingswarpedordestroyedbytheirbalefulinfluences!IfeltthatitwouldnotbeHONOURABLE，thatitwouldnotbeETIQUETTE，tobetrayO’Connor’ssecret。IsacrificedahigherandanoblerdutythanIhavesincebeencalledupontoperform，tothedastardlyfearofbearingtheunmeritedcensureofaworldfromwhichIwasabouttoretire。OFashion!thougaudyidol，whosefeetareredwiththebloodofhumansacrifice，wouldIhadalwaysfelttowardstheeasInowdo!

O’Connorwasnotdejected；onthecontrary，hejoinedwithloudandlivelyalacrityinthehilarityofthelittleparty；

butIcouldseeintheflushofhischeek，andintheunusualbrightnessofhiseye，alltheexcitementoffever——hewasmakinganeffortalmostbeyondhisstrength，buthesucceeded——andwhenhismotherrosetoleavetheroom，itwaswiththeimpressionthathersonwasthegayestandmostlight-heartedofthecompany。Twiceorthriceshehadrisenwiththeintentionofretiring，butO’Connor，withaneagernesswhichIalonecouldunderstand，hadpersuadedhertoremainuntiltheusualhourofherdeparturehadlongpassed；andwhenatlengthshearose，declaringthatshecouldnotpossiblystaylonger，Ialonecouldcomprehendthedesolatechangewhichpassedoverhismanner；andwhenIsawthempart，itwaswiththesickeningconvictionthatthosetwobeings，sodeartooneanother，soloved，socherished，shouldmeetnomore。

O’Connorbrieflyinformedhiscousinsofthepositioninwhichhewasplaced，requestingthematthesametimetoaccompanyhimtothefield，andthishavingbeensettled，weseparated，eachtohisownapartment。IhadwishedtositupwithO’Connor，whohadmatterstoarrangesufficienttoemployhimuntilthehourappointedforM’Donough’svisit；buthewouldnothearofit，andIwasforced，thoughsorelyagainstmywill，toleavehimwithoutacompanion。Iwenttomyroom，and，inastateofexcitementwhichIcannotdescribe，Ipacedforhoursupanddownitsnarrowprecincts。Icouldnot——

whocould？——analysethestrange，contradictory，torturingfeelingswhich，whileI

recoiledinshrinkinghorrorfromthescenewhichthemorningwastobring，yetforcedmetowishtheinterveningtimeannihilated；

eachhourthattheclocktoldseemedtovibrateandtinklethrougheverynerve；

myagitationwasdreadful；fancyconjureduptheformsofthosewhofilledmythoughtswithmorethanthevividnessofreality；thingsseemedtoglidethroughtheduskyshadowsoftheroom。IsawthedreadedformofFitzgerald——Iheardthehatedlaughofthecaptain——andagainthefeaturesofO’Connorwouldappearbeforeme，withghastlydistinctness，paleandwrithedindeath，thegoutsofgoreclottedinthemouth，andtheeye-ballsglaredandstaring。Scaredwiththevisionswhichseemedtothrongwithunceasingrapidityandvividness，Ithrewopenthewindowandlookedoutuponthequietscenearound。Iturnedmyeyesinthedirectionofthetown；aheavycloudwasloweringdarklyaboutit，andI，inimpiousfrenzy，prayedtoGodthatitmightburstinavengingfiresuponthemurderouswretchwholaybeneath。Atlength，sickandgiddywithexcessofexcitement，Ithrewmyselfuponthebedwithoutremovingmyclothes，andendeavouredtocomposemyselfsofarastoremainquietuntilthehourforourassemblingshouldarrive。

Afewminutesbeforefouro’clockIstolenoiselesslydownstairs，andmademywaytothesmallstudyalreadymentioned。A

candlewasburningwithin；and，whenI

openedthedoor，O’Connorwasreadingabook，which，onseeingme，hehastilyclosed，colouringslightlyashedidso。

Weexchangedacordialbutmournfulgreeting；andafteraslightpausehesaid，layinghishanduponthevolumewhichhehadshutamomentbefore：

’Purcell，Ifeelperfectlycalm，thoughI

cannotsaythatIhavemuchhopeastotheissueofthismorning’srencounter。I

shallavoidhalfthedanger。IfImustfall，IamdeterminedIshallnotgodowntothegravewithhisblooduponmyhands。IhaveresolvednottofireatFitzgerald——thatis，tofireinsuchadirectionastoassuremyselfagainsthittinghim。

DonotsayawordofthistotheO’Gradys。

Yourdoingsowouldonlyproducefruitlessaltercation；theycouldnotunderstandmymotives。IfeelconvincedthatIshallnotleavethefieldalive。IfImustdieto-

day，Ishallavoidanawfulaggravationofwretchedness。Purcell，’hecontinued，afteralittlespace，’IwassoweakastofeelalmostashamedofthemannerinwhichI

wasoccupiedasyouenteredtheroom。

Yes，_I——I_whowillbe，beforethisevening，acoldandlifelessclod，wasashamedtohavespentmylastmomentofreflectioninprayer。Godpardonme!Godpardonme!’herepeated。

Itookhishandandpressedit，butI