第3章

Inlookingoverthepapersofmylatevaluedandrespectedfriend，FrancisPurcell，whofornearlyfiftyyearsdischargedthearduousdutiesofaparishpriestinthesouthofIreland，I

metwiththefollowingdocument。Itisoneofmanysuch；forhewasacuriousandindustriouscollectorofoldlocaltraditions——acommodityinwhichthequarterwhereheresidedmightilyabounded。Thecollectionandarrangementofsuchlegendswas，aslongasIcanrememberhim，hishobby；butIhadneverlearnedthathisloveofthemarvellousandwhimsicalhadcarriedhimsofarastoprompthimtocommittheresultsofhisinquiriestowriting，until，inthecharacterofresiduarylegatee，hiswillputmeinpossessionofallhismanuscriptpapers。Tosuchasmaythinkthecomposingofsuchproductionsastheseinconsistentwiththecharacterandhabitsofacountrypriest，itisnecessarytoobserve，thattheredidexistaraceofpriests——thoseoftheoldschool，aracenownearlyextinct——whoseeducationabroadtendedtoproduceinthemtastesmoreliterarythanhaveyetbeenevincedbythealumniofMaynooth。

Itisperhapsnecessarytoaddthatthesuperstitionillustratedbythefollowingstory，namely，thatthecorpselastburiedisobliged，duringhisjuniorityofinterment，tosupplyhisbrothertenantsofthechurchyardinwhichhelies，withfreshwatertoallaytheburningthirstofpurgatory，isprevalentthroughoutthesouthofIreland。

Thewritercanvouchforacaseinwhicharespectableandwealthyfarmer，onthebordersofTipperary，intendernesstothecornsofhisdepartedhelpmate，enclosedinhercoffintwopairofbrogues，alightandaheavy，theonefordry，theotherforsloppyweather；seekingthustomitigatethefatiguesofherinevitableperambulationsinprocuringwaterandadministeringittothethirstysoulsofpurgatory。Fierceanddesperateconflictshaveensuedinthecaseoftwofuneralpartiesapproachingthesamechurchyardtogether，eachendeavouringtosecuretohisowndeadpriorityofsepulture，andaconsequentimmunityfromthetaxlevieduponthepedestrianpowersofthelast-

comer。Aninstancenotlongsinceoccurred，inwhichoneoftwosuchparties，throughfearoflosingtotheirdeceasedfriendthisinestimableadvantage，madetheirwaytothechurchyardbyashortcut，and，inviolationofoneoftheirstrongestprejudices，actuallythrewthecoffinoverthewall，lesttimeshouldbelostinmakingtheirentrancethroughthegate。Innumerableinstancesofthesamekindmightbequoted，alltendingtoshowhowstronglyamongthepeasantryofthesouththissuperstitionisentertained。However，I

shallnotdetainthereaderfurtherbyanyprefatoryremarks，butshallproceedtolaybeforehimthefollowing：

ExtractfromtheMS。PapersofthelateRev。FrancisPurcell，ofDrumcoolagh。

Itellthefollowingparticulars，asnearlyasIcanrecollectthem，inthewordsofthenarrator。Itmaybenecessarytoobservethathewaswhatistermedawell-spokenman，havingforaconsiderabletimeinstructedtheingeniousyouthofhisnativeparishinsuchoftheliberalartsandsciencesashefounditconvenienttoprofess——acircumstancewhichmayaccountfortheoccurrenceofseveralbigwordsinthecourseofthisnarrative，moredistinguishedforeuphoniouseffectthanforcorrectnessofapplication。Iproceedthen，withoutfurtherpreface，tolaybeforeyouthewonderfuladventuresofTerryNeil。

’Why，thin，’tisaquarestory，an’asthrueasyou’resittin’there；andI’dmakebouldtosaythereisn’taboyinthesevenparishescouldtellitbetternorcricktherthanmyself，for’twasmyfatherhimselfithappenedto，an’many’sthetimeIheerditoutivhisownmouth；an’Icansay，an’

I’mproudavthatsame，myfather’swordwasasincredibleasanysquire’soathinthecounthry；andsosignsan’ifapoormangotintoanyunluckythrouble，hewastheboyidgointothecourtan’prove；butthatdoesn’tsignify——hewasashonestandassoberaman，barrin’hewasalittlebittoopartialtotheglass，asyou’dfindinaday’swalk；an’therewasn’tthelikesofhiminthecounthryroundfornatelabourin’

an’baandiggin’；andhewasmightyhandyentirelyforcarpenther’swork，andmendin’ouldspudethrees，an’thelikesi’that。

An’sohetukupwithbone-settin’，aswasmostnathural，fornoneofthemcouldcomeuptohiminmendin’thelegivastooloratable；an’sure，thereneverwasabone-

settergotsomuchcustom-manan’child，youngan’ould——thereneverwassuchbreakin’andmendin’ofbonesknowninthememoryofman。Well，TerryNeil——

forthatwasmyfather’sname——begantofeelhisheartgrowin’light，andhispurseheavy；an’hetookabitivafarminSquirePhelim’sground，justundhertheouldcastle，an’apleasantlittlespotitwas；an’dayan’

mornin’poorcrathursnotabletoputafoottotheground，withbrokenarmsandbrokenlegs，idbecomin’ramblin’infromallquarterstohavetheirbonessplicedup。Well，yerhonour，allthiswasaswellaswellcouldbe；butitwascustomarywhenSirPhelimidgoanywhereoutivthecountry，forsomeivthetinantstosituptowatchintheouldcastle，justforakindofcomplimenttotheouldfamily——an’amightyunplisantcomplimentitwasforthetinants，fortherewasn’tamanofthembutknewtherewassomethingquareabouttheouldcastle。Theneighbourshadit，thatthesquire’souldgrandfather，asgoodagintlenlan——Godbewithhim——asIheer’d，aseverstoodinshoe-leather，usedtokeepwalkin’aboutinthemiddleivthenight，eversinstheburstedabloodvesselpullin’outacorkoutivabottle，asyouorImightbedoin’，andwilltoo，plaseGod——butthatdoesn’tsignify。So，asIwassayin’，theouldsquireusedtocomedownoutoftheframe，wherehispicthurwashungup，andtobreakthebottlesandglasses——Godbemarcifultousall——an’dthrinkallhecouldcomeat——an’smallblametohimforthatsame；andthenifanyofthefamilyidbecomin’in，heidbeupagaininhisplace，lookingasquitean’asinnocentasifhedidn’tknowanythingaboutit——themischievousouldchap’Well，yourhonour，asIwassayin’，onetimethefamilyupatthecastlewasstayin’

inDublinforaweekortwo；andso，asusual，someofthetinantshadtositupinthecastle，andthethirdnightitkemtomyfather’sturn。“Oh，tarean’ouns!“

saysheuntohimself，“an’mustIsitupallnight，andthatouldvagaboneofasperit，glorybetoGod，“sayshe，“serenadin’throughthehouse，an’doin’allsortsivmischief？“However，therewasnogettin’aff，andsoheputabouldfaceonit，an’hewentupatnightfallwithabottleofpottieen，andanotherofholywather。

’Itwasrainin’smartenough，an’theevenin’wasdarksomeandgloomy，whenmyfathergotin；andwhatwiththerainhegot，andtheholywatherhesprinkledonhimself，itwasn’tlongtillhehadtoswallyacupivthepottieen，tokeepthecowldoutivhisheart。Itwastheouldsteward，LawrenceConnor，thatopenedthedoor——andhean’myfatherworalwaysverygreat。Sowhenheseenwhoitwas，an’myfathertouldhimhowitwashisturntowatchinthecastle，heofferedtositupalongwithhim；andyoumaybesuremyfatherwasn’tsorryforthatsame。SosaysLarry：

’“We’llhaveabitivfireintheparlour，“sayshe。

’“An’whynotinthehall？“saysmyfather，forheknewthatthesquire’spicthurwashungintheparlour。

’“Nofirecanbelitinthehall，“saysLawrence，“forthere’sanouldjackdaw’snestinthechimney。“

’“Ohthin，“saysmyfather，“letusstopinthekitchen，forit’sveryunproperforthelikesivmetobesittin’intheparlour，“sayshe。

’“Oh，Terry，thatcan’tbe，“saysLawrence；“ifwekeepuptheouldcustomatall，wemayaswellkeepitupproperly，“sayshe。

’“Divilsweeptheouldcustom!“saysmyfather——tohimself，doyemind，forhedidn’tliketoletLawrenceseethathewasmoreafeardhimself。

’“Oh，verywell，“sayshe。“I’magreeable，Lawrence，“sayshe；andsodowntheybothwinttothekitchen，untilthefireidbelitintheparlour——an’thatsamewasn’tlongdoin’。

’Well，yourhonour，theysoonwintupagain，an’satdownmightycomfortablebytheparlourfire，andtheybeginnedtotalk，an’tosmoke，an’todhrinkasmalltasteivthepottieen；and，moreover，theyhadagoodrousin’fireo’bogwoodandturf，towarmtheirshinsover。

’Well，sir，asIwassayin’theykep’

convarsin’andsmokin’togethermostagreeable，untilLawrencebeginn’dtogetsleepy，aswasbutnathuralforhim，forhewasanouldsarvintman，andwasusedtoagreatdaleivsleep。

’“Sureit’simpossible，“saysmyfather，“it’sgettin’sleepyyouare？“

’“Oh，divilataste，“saysLarry；“I’monlyshuttin’myeyes，“sayshe，“tokeepouttheparfumeo’thetibackysmoke，that’smakin’themwather，“sayshe。

“Sodon’tyoumindotherpeople’sbusiness，“sayshe，stiffenough，forhehadamightyhighstomachavhisown(resthissowl)，“andgoon，“sayshe，“withyourstory，forI’mlistenin’，“sayshe，shuttin’downhiseyes。

’Well，whenmyfatherseenspakin’

wasnouse，hewentonwithhisstory。

Bythesametoken，itwasthestoryofJimSoolivanandhisouldgoathewastellin’——an’aplisantstoryitis——an’

therewassomuchdivarsioninit，thatitwasenoughtowakenadormouse，letalonetopervintaChristiangoin’asleep。

But，faix，thewaymyfathertouldit，I

believethereneverwasthelikesheerdsinstnorbefore，forhebawledouteverywordavit，asifthelifewasfairlylavin’him，thryingtokeepouldLarryawake；but，faix，itwasnouse，forthehoorsnesscameanhim，an’beforehekemtotheendofhisstoryLarryO’Connorbeginnedtosnorelikeabagpipes。

’“Oh，bluran’agres，“saysmyfather，“isn’tthisahardcase，“sayshe，“thatouldvillain，lettin’ontobemyfriend，andtogoasleepthisway，an’usbothintheveryroomwithasperit，“sayshe。“Thecrasso’Christaboutus!“sayshe；andwiththathewasgoin’toshakeLawrencetowakenhim，buthejustremimberedifherousedhim，thathe’dsurelygoofftohisbed，an’lavehimcomplatelyalone，an’

thatidbebyfarworse。

’“Ohthin，“saysmyfather，“I’llnotdisturbthepoorboy。Itidbeneitherfriendlynorgood-nathured，“sayshe，“totorminthimwhileheisasleep，“sayshe；

“onlyIwishIwasthesameway，myself，“sayshe。

’An’withthathebeginnedtowalkupan’down，an’sayin’hisprayers，untilheworkedhimselfintoasweat，savin’yourpresence。Butitwasallnogood；sohedthrunkaboutapintofsperits，tocomposehismind。

’“Oh，“sayshe，“IwishtotheLordI

wasasasyinmymindasLarrythere。

Maybe，“sayshe，“ifIthriedIcouldgoasleep；“an’withthathepulledabigarm-

chairclosebesideLawrence，an’settledhimselfinitaswellashecould。

’ButtherewasonequarethingIforgottotellyou。Hecouldn’thelp，inspiteavhimself，lookin’nowan’thinatthepicthur，an’heimmediatelyobsarvedthattheeyesavitwasfollyin’himabout，an’

starin’athim，an’winkin’athim，wher-

iverhewint。“Oh，“sayshe，whenheseenthat，“it’sapoorchanceIhave，“

sayshe；“an’badluckwaswithmethedayIkemintothisunforthunateplace，“

sayshe。“Butanywaythere’snouseinbein’freckenednow，“sayshe；“forifI

amtodie，Imayaswellparspireundaunted，“sayshe。

’Well，yourhonour，hethriedtokeephimselfquitean’asy，an’hethoughttwoorthreetimeshemighthavewintasleep，butforthewaythestormwasgroanin’

andcreakin’throughthegreatheavybranchesoutside，an’whistlin’throughtheouldchimleysivthecastle。Well，aftheronegreatroarin’blastivthewind，you’dthinkthewallsivthecastlewasjustgoin’

tofall，quitean’clane，withtheshakin’ivit。Allavasuddintthestormstopt，assilentan’asquiteasifitwasaJulyevenin’。Well，yourhonour，itwasn’tstoppedblowin’forthreeminnites，beforehethoughthehardasortivanoiseoverthechimley-piece；an’withthatmyfatherjustopenedhiseyesthesmallesttasteinlife，an’sureenoughheseentheouldsquiregettin’outivthepicthur，foralltheworldasifhewasthrowin’affhisridin’coat，untilhesteptoutclanean’

complate，outavthechimley-piece，an’

thrunhimselfdownanthefloor。Well，theslieveenouldchap——an’myfatherthoughtitwasthedirtiestturnivall——

beforehebeginnedtodoanythingoutivtheway，hestoppedforawhiletolistenwortheybothasleep；an’assoonashethoughtallwasquite，heputouthishandandtukhouldivthewhiskybottle，andhrankatlasteapintivit。Well，yourhonour，whenhetukhisturnoutivit，hesettleditbackmightycuteentirely，intheverysamespotitwasinbefore。An’hebeginnedtowalkupan’downtheroom，lookin’assoberan’assolidasifheneverdonethelikesatall。An’whineverhewentapastmyfather，hethoughthefeltagreatscentofbrimstone，an’itwasthatthatfreckenedhimentirely；forheknewitwasbrimstonethatwasburnedinhell，savin’yourpresence。Atanyrate，heoftenheerditfromFatherMurphy，an’

hehadarighttoknowwhatbelongedtoit——he’sdeadsince，Godresthim。Well，yourhonour，myfatherwasasyenoughuntilthesperitkempasthim；soclose，Godbemarcifultousall，thatthesmellivthesulphurtukthebreathclaneoutivhim；an’withthathetuksuchafitivcoughin’，thatital-a-mostshukhimoutivthechairhewassittin’in。

’“Ho，ho!“saysthesquire，stoppin’

shortabouttwostepsaff，andturnin’