第90章

’Thenthoumayestevenstopa-bed，’theoldwomanmutteredsulkily。’AwouldneverhavelabouredhalfanhourtoawakeaPapisher。Buthearkenyouonething，youngman；Zummerzettthouart，bythybrogue；oratleastbythyunderstandingofit；noZummerzettmaidwilllookatthee，inspiteofthysizeandstature，unlessthoustrikestablowthisnight。’

’IlacknoZummerzettmaid，mistress：Ihaveafairerthanyourbrownthings；andforheralonewouldI

strikeablow。’

Atthistheoldwomangavemeup，asbeingbeyondcorrection：anditvexedmealittlethatmygreatfamehadnotreachedsofarasBridgwater，whenIthoughtthatitwenttoBristowe。ButthosepeopleinEastSomersetknownothingaboutwrestling。Devonistheheadquartersoftheart；andDevonisthecountyofmychieflove。Howbeit，myvanitywasmoved，bythissluruponit——forIhadtoldhermynamewasJohnRidd，whenIhadagallonofalewithher，ereeverIcameupstairs；andshehadnodded，insuchamanner，thatI

thoughtsheknewbothnameandfame——andherewasI，notonlyshaken，pinched，andwithmanyhairspulledout，inthemidstofmyfirstgoodsleepforaweek，butalsoabused，andtakenamiss，and(whichvexedmemostofall)unknown。

Nowthereisnothinglikevanitytokeepamanawakeatnight，howeverhebeweary；andmostofall，whenhebelievesthatheisdoingsomethinggreat——thistime，ifneverdonebefore——yetotherpeoplewillnotsee，exceptwhattheymaylaughat；andsobefarabovehim，andsleepthemselvesthehappier。Thereforetheirsleeprobshisown；forallthingsplayso，inandout(withthegodlyandungodlyevermovinginabalance，astheyhavedoneinmytime，almosteveryyearortwo)，allthingshavesuchnicereplyofproducetothecallforit，andsuchaspreadacrosstheworld，givinghereandtakingthere，yetonthewholeprettyeven，thathaplysleepitselfhasbutacertainstock，andkeepsinhand，andsellstoflattered(whichcanpay)

thatwhichflattenedvanitycannotpay，andwillnotsuefor。

Bethatasitmay，Iwasbythistimewideawake，thoughmuchaggrievedatfeelingso，andthroughtheopenwindowheardthedistantrollofmusketry，andthebeatingofdrums，withaquickrub-a-dub，andthe’comeroundthecorner’oftrumpet-call。AndperhapsTomFaggusmightbethere，andshotatanymoment，andmydearAnnieleftapoorwidow，andmygodsonJackanorphan，withoutatoothtohelphim。

ThereforeIreviledmyselfforallmyheavylaziness；

andpartlythroughgoodhonestwill，andpartlythroughthestingsofpride，andyetalittleperhapsbyvirtueofayoungman’sloveofriot，upIarose，anddressedmyself，andwokeKickums(whowassnoring)，andsetouttoseetheworstofit。Thesleepyhostlerscratchedhispoll，andcouldnottellmewhichwaytotake；whatoddstohimwhowasKing，orPope，solongashepaidhisway，andgotabitofbacononSunday？AndwouldI

pleasetorememberthatIhadrousedhimupatnight，andthequalityalwaysmadeapointofpayingfourtimesoverforaman’slossofhisbeauty-sleep。I

repliedthathislossofbeauty-sleepwasratherimprovingtoamanofsohighcomplexion；andthatI，beingnoneofthequality，mustpayhalf-qualityprices：andsoIgavehimdoublefee，asbecameagoodfarmer；andhewasgladtobequitofKickums；asIsawbytheturnofhiseye，whilegoingoutatthearchway。

Allthiswasdonebylanthornlight，althoughthemoonwashighandbold；andinthenorthernheaven，flagsandribbonsofajostlingpattern；suchasweoftenhaveinautumn，butinJulyveryrarely。OftheseMasterDrydenhasspokensomewhere，inhiscourtlymanner；butofhimIthinksolittle——becausebyfashionpreferredtoShakespeare——thatIcannotrememberthepassage；neitherisitacredittohim。

ThereforeIwasguidedmainlybythesoundofgunsandtrumpets，inridingoutofthenarrowways，andintotheopenmarshes。AndthusImighthavefoundmyroad，inspiteofallthespreadofwater，andtheglazeofmoonshine；butthat，asIfollowedsound(farfromhedgeorcauseway)，fog(likeachestnut-treeinblossom，touchedwithmoonlight)metme。NowfogisathingthatIunderstand，andcandowithwellenough，whereI