第42章

Therewas，however，nopossibilityofdepressingmeatsuchatime。TobelovedbyLorna，thesweet，thepure，theplayfulone，thefairestcreatureonGod’searthandthemostenchanting，theladyofhighbirthandmind；thatI，amereclumsy，blunderingyeoman，withoutwit，orwealth，orlineage，shouldhavewonthatlovinghearttobemyownforever，wasathoughtnofearscouldlessen，andnochancecouldstealfromme。

Thereforeatherownentreatytakingaveryquickadieu，andbyherowninvitationanexceedingkindone，Ihurriedhomewithdeepexulting，yetsomesadmisgivings，forLornahadmademepromisenowtotellmymothereverything；asindeedIalwaysmeanttodo，whenmysuitshouldbegonetoofartostop。Iknew，ofcourse，thatmydearmotherwouldbegreatlymovedandvexed，theheirshipofGlenDoonenotbeingaverydesirabledower，butinspiteofthat，andalldisappointmentastolittleRuthHuckaback，feelingmymother’stendernessanddeepaffectiontome，andforgivingnature，IdoubtednotthatbeforeverylongshewouldviewthematterasIdid。Moreover，IfeltthatifonceIcouldgetheronlytolookatLorna，shewouldsoloveandgloryinher，thatIshouldobtainallpraiseandthanks，perchancewithoutdeservingthem。

Unluckilyformydesigns，whoshouldbesittingdownatbreakfastwithmymotherandtherestbutSquireFaggus，aseverybodynowbegantoentitlehim。I

noticedsomethingoddabouthim，somethinguncomfortableinhismanner，andalackofthateaseandhumourwhichhadbeenwonttodistinguishhim。Hetookhisbreakfastasitcame，withoutasinglejokeaboutit，orpreferenceofthistothat；butwithslysoftlooksatAnnie，whoseemedunabletositquiet，ortolookatanyonesteadfastly。Ifearedinmyheartwhatwascomingon，andfelttrulysorryforpoormother。Afterbreakfastitbecamemydutytoseetotheploughingofabarley-stubblereadyforthesowingofaFrenchgrass，andIaskedTomFaggustocomewithme，butherefused，andIknewthereason。Beingresolvedtoallowhimfairfieldtohimself，thoughwithgreatdispleasurethatamanofsuchillegalreputeshouldmarryintoourfamily，whichhadalwaysbeencountedsohonest，Icarriedmydinneruponmyback，andspentthewholedaywiththefurrows。

WhenIreturned，SquireFagguswasgone；whichappearedtomebutasorrysign，inasmuchasifmotherhadtakenkindlytohimandhisintentions，shewouldsurelyhavemadehimremainawhiletocelebratetheoccasion。Andpresentlynodoubtwasleft：forLizziecamerunningtomeetme，atthebottomofthewoodrick，andcried，——

’Oh，John，thereissuchabusiness。Motherisinsuchastateofmind，andAnniecryinghereyesout。Whatdoyouthink？Youwouldneverguess，thoughIhavesuspectedit，eversolong。’

’Noneedformetoguess，’Ireplied，asthoughwithsomeindifference，becauseofherself-importantair；

’Iknewallaboutitlongago。Youhavenotbeencryingmuch，Isee。Ishouldlikeyoubetterifyouhad。’

’WhyshouldIcry？IlikeTomFaggus。HeistheonlyoneIeverseewiththespiritofaman。’

Thiswasacut，ofcourse，atme。Mr。FaggushadwonthegoodwillofLizziebyhishatredoftheDoones，andvowsthatifhecouldgetadozenmenofanycouragetojoinhim，hewouldpulltheirstrongholdabouttheirearswithoutanymoreado。Thismaliceofhisseemedstrangetome，ashehadneversufferedattheirhands，sofaratleastasIknew；wasittobeattributedtohisjealousyofoutlawswhoexcelledhiminhisbusiness？Notbeinggoodatrepartee，ImadenoanswertoLizzie，havingfoundthiscoursemoreirksometoherthantheverybestinvective：andsoweenteredthehousetogether；andmothersentatonceforme，whileI

wastryingtoconsolemydarlingsisterAnnie。

’Oh，John!speakonegoodwordforme，’shecriedwithbothhandslaidinmine，andhertearfuleyeslookingupatme。

’Notone，mypet，butahundred，’Ianswered，kindlyembracingher：’havenofear，littlesister：Iamgoingtomakeyourcasesobright，bycomparison，Imean，thatmotherwillsendforyouinfiveminutes，andcallyouherbest，hermostdutifulchild，andpraiseCousinTomtotheskies，andsendamanonhorsebackafterhim；andthenyouwillhaveahardertasktointercedeforme，mydear。’

’Oh，John，dearJohn，youwon’ttellheraboutLorna——oh，notto-day，dear。’

’Yes，to-day，andatonce，Annie。Iwanttohaveitover，andbedonewithit。’

’Oh，butthinkofher，dear。Iamsureshecouldnotbearit，afterthisgreatshockalready。’

’Shewillbearitallthebetter，’saidI；’theonewilldrivetheotherout。Iknowexactlywhatmotheris。Shewillbedesperatelysavagefirstwithyou，andthenwithme，andthenforaverylittlewhilewithbothofustogether；andthenshewillputoneagainsttheother(inhermindImean)andconsiderwhichwasmosttoblame；andin