第27章

OftenIwasmuchinclinedtospeaktoheraboutit，andputheronherguardagainsttheapproachesofTomFaggus；butIcouldnotfindhowtobegin，andfearedtomakeabreachbetweenus；knowingthatifhermindwasset，nowordsofminewouldalterit；althoughtheyneedsmustgrieveherdeeply。Moreover，Ifeltthat，inthiscase，acertainhomelyDevonshireproverbwouldcomehometome；thatone，Imean，whichrecordsthatthecrockwascallingthekettlesmutty。Not，ofcourse，thatIcomparedmyinnocentmaidtoahighwayman；butthatAnniemightthinkherworse，andwouldbetooapttodoso，ifindeedshelovedTomFaggus。AndourCousinTom，bythistime，waslivingaquietandgodlylife；havingretiredalmostfromthetrade(exceptwhenheneededexcitement，orcameacrosspublicofficers)，andhavingwontheesteemofallwhosepurseswereinhispower。

Perhapsitisneedlessformetosaythatallthistimewhilemymonthwasrunning——orrathercrawling，fornevermonthwentsoslowasthatwithme——neitherweed，norseed，norcattle，normyownmother’sanxiety，noranycareformysister，keptmefromlookingonceeveryday，andeventwiceonaSunday，foranysignofLorna。

Formyheartwaseverweary；inthebuddingvalleys，andbythecrystalwaters，lookingatthelambsinfold，ortheheifersonthemill，labouringintrickledfurrows，oramongthebeadedblades；haltingfreshtoseethesunliftoverthegolden-vapouredridge；ordoffinghat，fromsweatofbrow，towatchhimsinkinthelowgraysea；beitasitwouldofday，ofwork，ornight，orslumber，itwasawearyheartIbore，andfearwasonthebrinkofit。

Allthebeautyofthespringwentforhappymentothinkof；alltheincreaseoftheyearwasforothereyestomark。Notasignofanysunriseformefrommyfountoflife，notabreathtostirthedeadleavesfallenonmyheart’sSpring。

AlthoughIhad，forthemostpart，soverystoutanappetite，thatnonebutmothersawanyneedofencouragingmetoeat，Icouldonlymanageonetruegoodmealinaday，atthetimeIspeakof。Motherwasindespairatthis，andtemptedmewiththewholeoftherack，andeventalkedofsendingtoPorlockforadruggistwhocametheretwiceinaweek；andAnniespentallhertimeincooking，andevenLizziesangsongstome；forshecouldsingverysweetly。ButmyconsciencetoldmethatBettyMuxworthyhadsomereasonuponherside。

’Latttheyoungozebirdaloun，zayI。Makkzuchadoaboutun，wi’hogs’-puddens，andhock-bits，andlambs’-mate，andwhatenbraddindade，andbrewers’aleavoredinner-time，andhernottozitwi’nowinderaupen——draivememad’edoo，theov’ee，zuchapasselofvoouls。Do’ungoodtostarveabit；andtakkzomeon’swackednessoutovun。’

Butmotherdidnotseeitso；andsheevensentforNicholasSnowetobringhisthreedaughterswithhim，andhavealeandcakeintheparlour，andadviseaboutwhatthebeesweredoing，andwhenaswarmmightbelookedfor。Beingvexedaboutthisandhavingtostopathomenearlyhalftheevening，Ilostgoodmannerssomuchastoaskhim(eveninourownhouse!)whathemeantbynotmendingtheswing-hurdlewheretheLynnstreamflowsfromourlandintohis，andwhichheisboundtomaintain。Buthelookedatmeinasuperiormanner，andsaid，’Business，youngman，inbusinesstime。’

IhadotherreasonforbeingvexedwithFarmerNicholasjustnow，viz。thatIhadheardarumour，afterchurchoneSunday——whenmostofallwesorrowoverthesinsofoneanother——thatMasterNicholasSnowehadbeenseentogazetenderlyatmymother，duringapassageofthesermon，whereintheparsonspokewellandwarmlyaboutthedutyofChristianlove。Now，puttingonethingwithanother，aboutthebees，andaboutsomeducks，andabullockwithabrokenknee-cap，ImorethansuspectedthatFarmerNicholaswascastingsheep’seyesatmymother；notonlytosaveallfurthertroubleinthematterofthehurdle，buttooverridemealtogetheruponthedifficultquestionofdamming。AndIknewquitewellthatJohnFry’swifenevercametohelpatthewashingwithoutdeclaringthatitwasasinforawell-lookingwomanlikemother，withplentytoliveon，andonlythreechildren，tokeepallthefarmersfor