第34章

ButIcouldnothelponestupidsob，thoughmadwithmyselfforallowingit，butitcametoosharpforpridetostayit，andittoldaworldofthings。Lornaheardit，andrantome，withherbrighteyesfullofwonder，pity，andgreatkindness，asifamazedthatIhadmorethanasimplelikingforher。Thensheheldoutbothhandstome；andItookandlookedatthem。

’MasterRidd，Ididnotmean，’shewhispered，verysoftly，’Ididnotmeantovexyou。’

’Ifyouwouldbeloathtovexme，noneelseinthisworldcandoit，’Iansweredoutofmygreatlove，butfearingyettolookather，mineeyesnotbeingstrongenough。

’Comeawayfromthisbrightplace，’sheanswered，tremblinginherturn；’Iamwatchedandspiedoflate。

Comebeneaththeshadows，John。’

Iwouldhaveleapedintothevalleyoftheshadowofdeath(asdescribedbythelateJohnBunyan)，onlytohearhercallme’John’；thoughApollyonwerelurkingthere，andDespairshouldlockmein。

Shestoleacrossthesilentgrass；butIstrodehotlyafterher；fearwasallbeyondmenow，exceptthefearoflosingher。Icouldnotbutbeholdhermanner，asshewentbeforeme，allhergrace，andlovelysweetness，andhersenseofwhatshewas。

Sheledmetoherownrichbower，whichItoldofoncebefore；andifinspringitwereasight，whatwasitinsummerglory？Butalthoughmymindhadnoticeofitsfairnessanditswonder，notaheedmyhearttookofit，neitherdweltitinmypresencemorethanflowingwater。Allthatinmypresencedwelt，allthatinmyheartwasfelt，wasthemaidenmovinggently，andafraidtolookatme。

Fornowthepowerofmylovewasabidingonher，newtoher，unknowntoher；notathingtospeakabout，noreventothinkclearly；onlyjusttofeelandwonder，withapainofsweetness。Shecouldlookatmenomore，neithercouldshelookaway，withastudiedmanner——onlytoletfallhereyes，andblush，andbeputoutwithme，andstillmorewithherself。

Ileftherquitealone；thoughclose，thoughtinglingtohaveholdofher。Evenherrighthandwasdroppedandlayamongthemosses。NeitherdidItrytostealoneglimpsebelowhereyelids。LifeanddeathtomewerehangingonthefirstglanceIshouldwin；yetI

letitbeso。

Afterlongorshort——Iknownot，yetereIwasweary，ereIyetbegantothinkorwishforanyanswer——Lornaslowlyraisedhereyelids，withagleamofdewbelowthem，andlookedatmedoubtfully。Anylookwithsomuchinitnevermetmygazebefore。

’Darling，doyouloveme？’wasallthatIcouldsaytoher。

’Yes，Ilikeyouverymuch，’sheanswered，withhereyesgonefromme，andherdarkhairfallingover，soasnottoshowmethings。

’Butdoyouloveme，Lorna，Lorna；doyoulovememorethanalltheworld？’

’No，tobesurenot。NowwhyshouldI？’

’Intruth，Iknownotwhyyoushould。OnlyIhopedthatyoudid，Lorna。Eitherlovemenotatall，orasIloveyouforever。’

’JohnIloveyouverymuch；andIwouldnotgrieveyou。

Youarethebravest，andthekindest，andthesimplestofallmen——Imeanofallpeople——Ilikeyouverymuch，MasterRidd，andIthinkofyoualmosteveryday。’

’Thatwillnotdoforme，Lorna。NotalmosteverydayIthink，buteveryinstantofmylife，ofyou。ForyouIwouldgiveupmyhome，myloveofalltheworldbeside，mydutytomydearestones，foryouIwouldgiveupmylife，andhopeoflifebeyondit。Doyoulovemeso？’

’Notbyanymeans，’saidLorna；’no，Ilikeyouverymuch，whenyoudonottalksowildly；andIliketoseeyoucomeasifyouwouldfillourvalleyup，andIliketothinkthatevenCarverwouldbenothinginyourhands——butastolikingyoulikethat，whatshouldmakeitlikely？especiallywhenIhavemadethesignal，andforsometwomonthsormoreyouhaveneverevenansweredit!Ifyoulikemesoferociously，whydoyouleavemeforotherpeopletodojustastheylikewithme？’

’Todoastheyliked!Oh，Lorna，nottomakeyoumarryCarver？’

’No，MasterRidd，benotfrightenedso；itmakesmefeartolookatyou。’

’ButyouhavenotmarriedCarveryet？Sayquick!Whykeepmewaitingso？’

’OfcourseIhavenot，MasterRidd。ShouldIbehereifIhad，thinkyou，andallowingyoutolikemeso，andtoholdmyhand，andmakemelaugh，asIdeclareyoualmostdosometimes？Andatothertimesyoufrightenme。’

’DidtheywantyoutomarryCarver？Tellmeallthetruthofit。’

’Notyet，notyet。Theyarenothalfsoimpetuousasyouare，John。Iamonlyjustseventeen，youknow，andwhoistothinkofmarrying？Buttheywantedmetogivemyword，andbeformallybetrothedtohiminthepresenceofmygrandfather。Itseemsthatsomethingfrightenedthem。ThereisayouthnamedCharleworthDoone，everyonecallshim“Charlie“；aheadstrongandagayyoungman，verygallantinhislooksandmanner；

andmyuncle，theCounsellor，chosetofancythatCharlielookedatmetoomuch，comingbymygrandfather’scottage。’

He