第76章

’UntilIdoremember，love，thatyouwillsooncomebacktome，andbemyownforever。ThisiswhatI

alwaysthinkof，thisiswhatIhopefor。’

Althoughhereyesweresoglorious，andbeamingwitheternity，thisdistantsortofbeatitudewasnotmuchtomyliking。Iwantedtohavemyloveonearth；andmydearwifeinmyownhome；andchildreningoodtime，ifGodshouldpleasetosendusany。AndthenIwouldbetothem，exactlywhatmyfatherwastome。Andbesideallthis，Idoubtedmuchaboutbeingfitforheaven；wherenoploughsare，andnocattle，unlesssacrificedbullswentthither。

ThereforeIsaid，’Nowkissme，Lorna；anddon’ttalkanynonsense。’Andthedarlingcameanddidit；beingkindlyobedient，astheotherworldoftenmakesus。

’Yousweetlove，’Isaidatthis，beingslavetohersoftobedience；’doyousupposeIshouldbecontenttoleaveyouuntilElysium？’

’HowonearthcanItell，dearJohn，whatyouwillbecontentwith？’

’You，andonlyyou，’saidI；’thewholeofitliesinasyllable。Nowyouknowmyentirewant；andwantmustbemycomfort。’

’ButsurelyifIhavemoney，sir，andbirth，andrank，andallsortsofgrandeur，youwouldneverdaretothinkofme。’

Shedrewherselfupwithanairofpride，asshegravelypronouncedthesewords，andgavemeascornfulglance，ortried；andturnedawayasiftoentersomegrandcoachorpalace；whileIwassoamazedandgrievedinmyrawsimplicityespeciallyafterthewayinwhichshehadfirstreceivedmynews，solovingandwarm-hearted，thatIneversaidaword，butstaredandthought，’Howdoesshemeanit？’

Shesawthepainuponmyforehead，andthewonderinmyeyes，andleavingcoachandpalacetoo，backsheflewtomeinamoment，assimpleassimplestmilkmaid。

’Oh，youfearfulstupid，John，youinexpressiblystupid，John，’shecriedwithbotharmsroundmyneck，andherlipsuponmyforehead；’youhavecalledyourselfthick-headed，John，andIneverwouldbelieveit。ButnowIdowithallmyheart。WillyouneverknowwhatIam，love？’

’No，Lorna，thatInevershall。Icanunderstandmymotherwell，andoneatleastofmysisters，andboththeSnowegirlsveryeasily，butyouIneverunderstand；onlyloveyouallthemoreforit。’

’Thennevertrytounderstandme，iftheresultisthat，dearJohn。AndyetIamtheverysimplestofallfoolishsimplecreatures。Nay，Iamwrong；thereinI

yieldthepalmtoyou，mydear。TothinkthatIcanactso!NowondertheywantmeinLondon，asanornamentforthestage，John。’

Nowinafterdays，whenIheardofLornaastherichest，andnoblest，andloveliestladytobefoundinLondon，Ioftenrememberedthatlittlescene，andrecalledeverywordandgesture，wonderingwhatlayunderit。Evennow，whileitwasquiteimpossibleoncetodoubtthosecleardeepeyes，andthebrightlipstremblingso；neverthelessIfelthowmuchtheworldwouldhavetodowithit；andthatthebestandtruestpeoplecannotshakethemselvesquitefree。However，forthemoment，Iwasveryproudandshowedit。

Andhereindiffersfactfromfancy，thingsastheybefallusfromthingsaswewouldhavethem，humanendsfromhumanhopes；thatthefirstaremovedbyathousandandthelastontwowheelsonly，which(beingnamed)aredesireandfear。Hopeofcourseisnothingmorethandesirewithatelescope，magnifyingdistantmatters，overlookingnearones；openingoneeyeontheobjects，closingtheothertoallobjections。Andifhopebethefuturetenseofdesire，thefutureoffearisreligion——atleastwithtoomanyofus。

WhetherIamrightorwronginthesesmallmoralities，onethingissureenough，towit，thathopeisthefastesttraveller，atanyrate，inthetimeofyouth。

AndsoIhopedthatLornamightbeprovedofblamelessfamily，andhonourablerankandfortune；andyetnonethelessforthat，lovemeandbelongtome。SoIledherintothehouse，andshefellintomymother’sarms；

andIleftthemtohaveagoodcryofit，withAnniereadytohelpthem。

IfMasterSticklesshouldnotmendenoughtogainhisspeechalittle，anddeclaretousallheknew，IwastosetoutforWatchett，ridinguponhorseback，andtheretohireacartwithwheels，suchaswehadnotbegun，asyet，touseonExmoor。Forallourworkwentonbroadwood，withrunnersandwithearthboards；andmanyofusstilllookeduponwheels(thoughmentionedintheBible)astheinventionoftheevilone，andPharoah’sespecialproperty。

Now，insteadofgettingbetter，ColonelStickle