第32章

ThereforeImadealowbow，andwent；indoubtastowhichhadtherightofit。

Butthoughhehadsofardismissedme，Iwasnotyetquitefreetogo，inasmuchasIhadnotmoneyenoughtotakemeallthewaytoOare，unlessindeedIshouldgoafoot，andbegmysustenancebytheway，whichseemedtobebelowme。ThereforeIgotmyfewclothespacked，andmyfewdebtspaid，allreadytostartinhalfanhour，ifonlytheywouldgivemeenoughtosetoutupontheroadwith。ForIdoubtednot，beingyoungandstrong，thatIcouldwalkfromLondontoOareintendaysorintwelveatmost，whichwasnotmuchlongerthanhorse-work；onlyIhadbeenafool，asyouwillsaywhenyouhearit。ForafterreceivingfromMasterSpanktheamountofthebillwhichIhaddelivered——lessindeedbyfiftyshillingsthanthemoneymymotherhadgivenme，forIhadspentfiftyshillings，andmore，inseeingthetownandtreatingpeople，whichIcouldnotchargetoHisMajesty——Ihadfirstpaidallmydebtsthereout，whichwerenotverymany，andthensupposingmyselftobeanestablishedcreditoroftheTreasuryformycomingneeds，andalreadyscentingthecountryair，andforeseeingthejoyofmymother，whathadIdonebutspenthalfmybalance，ayandmorethanthree-quartersofit，uponpresentsformother，andAnnie，andLizzie，JohnFry，andhiswife，andBettyMuxworthy，BillDadds，JimSlocombe，and，inaword，halfoftherestofthepeopleatOare，includingalltheSnowefamily，whomusthavethingsgoodandhandsome？AndifImustwhileIamaboutit，hidenothingfromthosewhoreadme，IhadactuallyboughtforLornaathingthepriceofwhichquitefrightenedme，tilltheshopkeepersaiditwasnothingatall，andthatnoyoungman，withaladytolovehim，coulddaretoofferherrubbish，suchastheJewsoldacrosstheway。NowthemereideaofbeautifulLornaeverlovingme，whichhetalkedaboutaspatly(thoughofcourseInevermentionedher)asifitwereasettledthing，andheknewallaboutit，thatmereideasodrovemeabroad，thatifhehadaskedthreetimesasmuch，Icouldneverhavecountedthemoney。

NowinallthisIwasafoolofcourse——notforrememberingmyfriendsandneighbours，whichamanhasarighttodo，andindeedisboundtodo，whenhecomesfromLondon——butfornotbeingcertifiedfirstwhatcashIhadtogoonwith。Andtomygreatamazement，whenIwentwithanotherbillforthevictualsofonlythreedaysmore，andaweek’sexpenseonthehomewardroadreckonedverynarrowly，MasterSpanknotonlyrefusedtograntmeanyinterview，butsentmeoutapieceofbluepaper，lookinglikeabutcher’sticket，andbearingthesewordsandnomore，’JohnRidd，gotothedevil。Hewhowillnotwhenhemay，whenhewill，heshallhavenay。’FromthisIconcludedthatIhadlostfavourinthesightofChiefJusticeJeffreys。

Perhapsbecausemyevidencehadnotprovedofanyvalue!perhapsbecausehemeanttoletthematterlie，tillcastonhim。

Anyhow，itwasareasonofmuchgrief，andsomeangertome，andverygreatanxiety，disappointment，andsuspense。Forherewasthetimeofthehaygonepast，andtheharvestofsmallcorncomingon，andthetroutnowrisingattheyellowSally，andtheblackbirdseatingourwhite-heartcherries(Iwassure，thoughI

couldnotseethem)，andwhowastodoanygoodformother，orstopherfromweepingcontinually？Andmorethanthis，whatwasbecomeofLorna？Perhapsshehadcastmeawayaltogether，asaflouterandachangeling；

perhapsshehaddrownedherselfintheblackwell；

perhaps(andthatwasworstofall)shewasevenmarried，childasshewas，tothatvileCarverDoone，iftheDoonesevercaredaboutmarrying!ThatlastthoughtsentmedownatoncetowatchforMr。Spankagain，resolvedthatifIcouldcatchhim，spankhimI

wouldtoaprettygoodtune，althoughsixteeninfamily。

However，therewasnosuchthingastofindhim；andtheushervowed(havingordersIdoubt)thathewasgonetotheseaforthegoodofhishealth，havingsadlyoverworkedhimself；andthatnonebutapoordevillikehimself，whoneverhadhandlingofmoney，wouldstayinLondonthisfoul，hotweather；whichwaslikelytobringtheplaguewithit。Herewasanothernewterrorforme，whohadheardoftheplaguesofLondon，andthehorriblethi