第77章

Awoman，whenshe’sspoilt，isSPOILT。She’sdirtyingrain。

She’sdone。”

Shewalkedonweeping。

“You’reafooltowantme。”shesaid。“You’reafooltowantme——formysakejustasmuchasyours。We’vedoneallwecan。

It’sjustromancing——“

Shedashedthetearsfromhereyesandturneduponme。“Don’tyouunderstand？”shechallenged。“Don’tyouknow？”

Wefacedoneanotherinsilenceforamoment。

“Yes。”Isaid，“Iknow。”

Foralongtimewespokeneveraword，butwalkedontogether，slowlyandsorrowfully，reluctanttoturnabouttowardsourparting。Whenatlastwedid，shebrokesilenceagain。

“I’vehadyou。”shesaid。

“Heavenandhell。”Isaid，“can’talterthat。”

“I’vewanted——“shewenton。“I’vetalkedtoyouinthenightsandmadeupspeeches。NowwhenIwanttomakethemI’mtongue-tied。Buttomeit’sjustasifthemomentswehavehadlastedforever。Moodsandstatescomeandgo。To-daymylightisout。”

TothisdayIcannotdeterminewhethershesaidorwhetherI

imaginedshesaid“chloral。”Perhapsahalf-consciousdiagnosisflasheditonmybrain。PerhapsIamthevictimofsomeperverseimaginativefreakofmemory，somehintedpossibilitythatscratchedandseared。Therethewordstandsinmymemory，asifitwerewritteninfire。

WecametothedoorofLadyOsprey’sgardenatlast，anditwasbeginningtodrizzle。

SheheldoutherhandsandItookthem。

“Yours。”shesaid，inawearyunimpassionedvoice；“allthatI

had——suchasitwas。Willyouforget？”

“Never。”Ianswered。

“Neveratouchorawordofit？”

“No。”

“Youwill。”shesaid。

Welookedatoneanotherinsilence，andherfacefulloffatigueandmisery。

WhatcouldIdo？Whatwastheretodo？

“Iwish——“Isaid，andstopped。

“Good-bye。”

ThatshouldhavebeenthelastIsawofher，but，indeed，Iwasdestinedtoseeheronceagain。TwodaysafterIwasatLadyGrove，Iforgetaltogetheruponwhaterrand，andasIwalkedbacktothestationbelievinghertobegoneawayshecameuponme，andshewasridingwithCarnaby，justasIhadseenthemfirst。

Theencounterjumpeduponusunprepared。Sherodeby，hereyesdarkinherwhiteface，andscarcelynoticedme。Shewincedandgrewstiffatthesightofmeandbowedherhead。ButCarnaby，becausehethoughtIwasabrokenanddiscomfitedman，salutedmewithaneasyfriendliness，andshoutedsomegenialcommonplacetome。

Theypassedoutofsightandleftmebytheroadside。

Andthen，indeed，Itastedtheultimatebitternessoflife。ForthefirsttimeIfeltutterfutility，andwaswrungbyemotionthatbegotnoaction，byshameandpitybeyondwords。IhadpartedfromherdullyandIhadseenmyunclebreakanddiewithdryeyesandasteadymind，butthischancesightofmylostBeatricebroughtmetotears。Myfa