第55章

Butthegliderbroughtmeupsmartly。Ihadtofindouthowthesethingswentdowntheair，andtheonlywaytofindoutistogodownwithone。AndforatimeIwouldn’tfaceit。

Thereissomethingimpersonalaboutabook，Isuppose。AtanyrateIfindmyselfabletowritedownherejusttheconfessionI’veneverbeenabletomaketoanyonefacetoface，thefrightfultroubleitwastometobringmyselftodowhatI

supposeeveryothercolouredboyintheWestIndiescoulddowithoutturningahair，andthatistoflingmyselfoffformyfirstsoardownthewind。Thefirsttrialwasboundtobetheworst；itwasanexperimentImadewithlife，andthechanceofdeathorinjurywas，Isupposed，aboutequaltothechanceofsuccess。Ibelievedthatwithadawn-likelucidity。IhadbegunwithagliderthatIimaginedwasonthelinesoftheWrightbrothers’aeroplane，butIcouldnotbesure。Itmightturnover。Imightupsetit。Itmightburrowitsnoseattheendandsmashitselfandme。Theconditionsoftheflightnecessitatedalertattention；itwasn’tathingtobedonebyjumpingoffandshuttingone’seyesorgettingangryordrunktodoit。Onehadtouseone’sweighttobalance。AndwhenatlastIdidititwashorrible——fortenseconds。Fortensecondsorso，asIsweptdowntheairflattenedonmyinfernalframeworkandwiththewindinmyeyes，therushofthegroundbeneathmefilledmewithsickandhelplessterror；Ifeltasthoughsomeviolentoscillatorycurrentwasthrobbinginbrainandbackbone，andIgroanedaloud。Isetmyteethandgroaned。Itwasagroanwrungoutofmeinspiteofmyself。Mysensationsofterrorswoopedtoaclimax。Andthen，youknow，theyended！

Suddenlymyterrorwasoveranddonewith。Iwassoaringthroughtheairrightwayup，steadily，andnomischancehadhappened。I

feltintenselyaliveandmynerveswerestrunglikeabow。I

shiftedalimb，swervedandshoutedbetweenfearandtriumphasI

recoveredfromtheswerveandheeledtheotherwayandsteadiedmyself。

IthoughtIwasgoingtohitarookthatwasflyingathwartme，——itwasqueerwithwhatprojectilesilencethatjumpeduponmeoutofnothingness，andIyelledhelplessly，“Getoutoftheway！”ThebirddoubleditselfuplikeapartlyinvertedV，flapped，wentuptotherightabruptlyandvanishedfrommycircleofinterest。ThenIsawtheshadowofmyaeroplanekeepingafixeddistancebeforemeandverysteady，andtheturfasitseemedstreamingoutbehindit。Theturf！——itwasn’tafterallstreamingsoimpossiblyfast。

WhenIcameglidingdowntothesafespreadoflevelgreenIhadchosen，Iwasascoolandreadyasacityclerkwhodropsoffanomnibusinmotion，andIhadlearntmuchmorethansoaring。I

tilteduphernoseattherightmoment，levelledagainandgroundedlikeasnowflakeonawindlessday。Ilayflatforaninstantandthenkneltupandgotonmyfeetatremble，butverysatisfiedwithmyself。Cothopewasrunningdownthehilltome。

ButfromthatdayIwentintotraining，andIkeptmyselfintrainingformanymonths。Ihaddelayedmyexperimentsforverynearlysixweeksonvariousexcusesbecauseofmydreadofthisfirstflight，becauseoftheslacknessofbodyandspiritthathadcometomewiththebusinesslife。Theshameofthatcowardicespurredmenonethelessbecausei