第46章

Ilookintothejumbledstoresofthemiddledistanceofmemory，andBeckenhamseemstomeaquitetransitoryphase。Butreallytheywerethereseveralyears；throughnearlyallmymarriedlife，infact，andfarlongerthantheyearandoddmonthswelivedtogetheratWimblehurst。ButtheWimblehursttimewiththemisfullerinmymemorybyfarthentheBeckenhamperiod。

Therecomesbacktomewithaquiteconsiderableamountofdetailtheeffectofthatgardenpartyofmyaunt’sandofalittlesocialmisbehaviourofwhichIwasguiltyonthatoccasion。It’slikeascrapfromanotherlife。It’sallsetinwhatisformeakindofcutaneousfeeling，thefeelingofratherill-cutcityclothes，frockcoatandgreytrousers，andofahighcollarandtieworninsunshineamongflowers。Ihavestillaquitevividmemoryofthelittletrapezoidallawn，ofthegathering，andparticularlyofthehatsandfeathersofthegathering，oftheparlour-maidandthebluetea-cups，andofthemagnificentpresenceofMrs。Hogberryandofherclear，resonantvoice。Itwasavoicethatwouldhavegonewithagardenpartyonalargerscale；itwentintoadjacentpremises；

itincludedthegardenerwhowasfarupthevegetablepatchandtechnicallyoutofplay。Theonlyothermenweremyaunt’sdoctor，twooftheclergy，amiablecontrastedmen，andMrs。

Hogberry’simperfectlygrown-upson，ayouthjustburstingintocollar。Therestwerewomen，exceptforayounggirlorsoinastateofspeechlessgoodbehaviour。Marionalsowasthere。

MarionandIhadarrivedalittleestranged，andIrememberherasasilentpresence，ashadowacrossallthatsunlitemptinessofintercourse。Wehadembitteredeachotherwithoneofthosemiserablelittledisputesthatseemedsounavoidablebetweenus。

Shehad，withthehelpofSmithie，dressedratherelaboratelyfortheoccasion，andwhenshesawmepreparedtoaccompanyherin，I

thinkitwasagreysuit，sheprotestedthatsilkhatandfrockcoatwereimperative。Iwasrecalcitrant，shequotedanillustratedpapershowingagardenpartywiththeKingpresent，andfinallyIcapitulated——butaftermyevilhabit，resentfully。Eh，dear！thoseoldquarrels，howpitifultheywere，howtrivial！Andhowsorrowfultheyaretorecall！I

thinktheygrowmoresorrowfulasIgrowolder，andallthesmallpassionatereasonsforourmutualangerfadeandfadeoutofmemory。

TheimpressionthatBeckenhamcompanyhasleftonmymindisoneofamodestunreality；theywereallmaintainingafrontofunspecifiedsocialpretension，andevadingthedisplayoftheeconomicfactsofthecase。Mostofthehusbandswere“inbusiness“offstage，itwouldhavebeenoutrageoustoaskwhatthebusinesswas——andthewivesweregivingtheirenergiestoproduce，withtheassistanceofnovelsandtheillustratedmagazines，amoralisedversionoftheafternoonlifeofthearistocraticclass。Theyhadn’ttheintellectualormoralenterpriseoftheupper-classwoman，theyhadnopoliticalinterests，theyhadnoviewsaboutanythin