第19章

Chapter4。XIX。

WhatcountenancesPanurgeandFriarJohnkeptduringthestorm。

Pantagruel，havingfirstimploredthehelpofthegreatandAlmightyDeliverer，andprayedpubliclywithferventdevotion，bythepilot\'sadviceheldtightlythemastoftheship。FriarJohnhadstrippedhimselftohiswaistcoat，tohelptheseamen。Epistemon，Ponocrates，andtherestdidasmuch。Panurgealonesatonhisbreechupondeck，weepingandhowling。

FriarJohnespiedhimgoingonthequarter-deck，andsaidtohim，Odzoons！

Panurgethecalf，Panurgethewhiner，Panurgethebrayer，woulditnotbecometheemuchbettertolendushereahelpinghandthantolielowinglikeacow，asthoudost，sittingonthystoneslikeabald-breechedbaboon？Be，be，be，bous，bous，bous，returnedPanurge；FriarJohn，myfriend，mygoodfather，Iamdrowning，mydearfriend！Idrown！Iamadeadman，mydearfatherinGod；Iamadeadman，myfriend；yourcuttinghangercannotsavemefromthis；alas！alas！weareaboveela。Abovethepitch，outoftune，andoffthehinges。Be，be，be，bou，bous。Alas！wearenowabovegsolreut。Isink，Isink，ha，myfather，myuncle，myall。Thewaterisgotintomyshoesbythecollar；bous，bous，bous，paish，hu，hu，hu，he，he，he，ha，ha，Idrown。Alas！alas！Hu，hu，hu，hu，hu，hu，hu，be，be，bous，bous，bobous，bobous，ho，ho，ho，ho，ho，alas！alas！NowIamlikeyourtumblers，myfeetstandhigherthanmyhead。WouldtoheavenIwerenowwiththosegoodholyfathersboundforthecouncilwhomwemetthismorning，sogodly，sofat，somerry，soplumpandcomely。Holos，bolos，holas，holas，alas！Thisdevilishwave(meaculpaDeus)，ImeanthiswaveofGod，willsinkourvessel。Alas！FriarJohn，myfather，myfriend，confession。HereIamdownonmyknees；

confiteor；yourholyblessing。Comehitherandbedamned，thoupitifuldevil，andhelpus，saidFriarJohn(whofella-swearingandcursinglikeatinker)，inthenameofthirtylegionsofblackdevils，come；willyoucome？Donotletusswearatthistime，saidPanurge；holyfather，myfriend，donotswear，Ibeseechyou；to-morrowasmuchasyouplease。

Holos，holos，alas！ourshipleaks。Idrown，alas，alas！Iwillgiveeighteenhundredthousandcrownstoanyonethatwillsetmeonshore，allberayedandbedaubedasIamnow。Ifevertherewasamaninmycountryinthelikepickle。Confiteor，alas！awordortwooftestamentorcodicilatleast。Athousanddevilsseizethecuckoldycow-heartedmongrel，criedFriarJohn。Ods-belly，artthoutalkinghereofmakingthywillnowweareindanger，anditbehovethustobestirourstumpslustily，ornever？Wiltthoucome，hodevil？Midshipman，myfriend；Otherarelieutenant；hereGymnast，hereonthepoop。Weare，bythemass，allbeshitnow；ourlightisout。Thisishasteningtothedevilasfastasitcan。Alas，bou，bou，bou，bou，bou，alas，alas，alas，alas！saidPanurge；wasitherewewereborntoperish？Oh！ho！goodpeople，Idrown，Idie。Consummatumest。I

amsped——Magna，gna，gna，saidFriarJohn。Fieuponhim，howuglytheshittenhowlerlooks。Boy，younker，seehoyh。Mindthepumpsorthedevilchokethee。Hastthouhurtthyself？Zoons，herefastenittooneoftheseblocks。Onthisside，inthedevil\'sname，hay——so，myboy。Ah，FriarJohn，saidPanurge，goodghostlyfather，dearfriend，don\'tletusswear，yousin。Oh，ho，oh，ho，bebebebous，bous，bhous，Isink，Idie，myfriends。Idieincharitywithalltheworld。Farewell，inmanus。Bohusbohous，bhousowauswaus。St。MichaelofAure！St。Nicholas！now，nowornever，Iheremakeyouasolemnvow，andtoourSaviour，thatifyoustandbymethistime，Imeanifyousetmeashoreoutofthisdanger，Iwillbuildyouafinelargelittlechapelortwo，betweenQuandeandMontsoreau，whereneithercownorcalfshallfeed。Ohho，ohho。Aboveeighteenpailfulsortwoofitaregotdownmygullet；bous，bhous，bhous，bhous，howdamnedbitterandsaltitis！Bythevirtue，saidFriarJohn，oftheblood，theflesh，thebelly，thehead，ifIheartheeagainhowling，thoucuckoldycur，I\'llmaultheeworsethananysea-wolf。Ods-fish，whydon\'twetakehimupbythelugsandthrowhimoverboardtothebottomofthesea？Hear，sailor；ho，honestfellow。Thus，thus，myfriend，holdfastabove。Intruth，hereisasadlightningandthundering；Ithinkthatallthedevilsaregotloose；itisholidaywiththem；orelseMadameProserpineisinchild\'slabour:allthedevilsdanceamorrice。

Chapter4。XX。

Howthepilotswereforsakingtheirshipsinthegreateststressofweather。

Oh，saidPanurge，yousin，FriarJohn，myformercrony！former，Isay，foratthistimeIamnomore，youarenomore。Itgoesagainstmyhearttotellityou；forIbelievethisswearingdothyourspleenagreatdealofgood；asitisagreateasetoawood-cleavertocryhemateveryblow，andasonewhoplaysatninepinsiswonderfullyhelpedif，whenhehathnotthrownhisbowlright，andisliketomakeabadcast，someingeniousstander-byleansandscrewshisbodyhalfwayaboutonthatsidewhichthebowlshouldhavetooktohitthepins。Nevertheless，youoffend，mysweetfriend。Butwhatdoyouthinkofeatingsomekindofcabirotadoes？

Wouldn\'tthissecureusfromthisstorm？IhavereadthattheministersofthegodsCabiri，somuchcelebratedbyOrpheus，Apollonius，Pherecydes，Strabo，Pausanias，andHerodotuswerealwayssecureintimeofstorm。Hedotes，heraves，thepoordevil！Athousand，amillion，nay，ahundredmillionofdevilsseizethehornifieddoddipole。Lend\'sahandhere，hoh，tiger，wouldstthou？Here，onthestarboardside。Ods-me，thoubuffalo\'sheadstuffedwithrelics，whatape\'spaternosterartthoumutteringandchatteringherebetweenthyteeth？Thatdevilofasea-calfisthecauseofallthisstorm，andistheonlymanwhodothnotlendahelpinghand。

ByG——，ifIcomenearthee，I\'llfetchtheeoutbytheheadandearswithavengeance，andchastisetheelikeanytempestativedevil。Here，mate，mylad，holdfast，tillIhavemadeadoubleknot。Obraveboy！WouldtoheaventhouwertabbotofTalemouze，andthathethatiswereguardianofCroullay。Hold，brotherPonocrates，youwillhurtyourself，man。

Epistemon，pritheestandoffoutofthehatchway。MethinksIsawthethunderfalltherebutjustnow。Contheship，soho——Mindyoursteerage。

Wellsaid，thus，thus，steady，keepherthus，getthelongboatclear——

steady。Ods-fish，thebeak-headisstavedtopieces。Grumble，devils，fart，belch，shite，at——do\'thewave。Ifthisbeweather，thedevil\'saram。Nay，byG——，alittlemorewouldhavewashedmeclearawayintothecurrent。Ithinkallthelegionsofdevilsholdheretheirprovincialchapter，orarepolling，canvassing，andwranglingfortheelectionofanewrector。Starboard；wellsaid。Takeheed；haveacareofyournoddle，lad，inthedevil\'sname。Soho，starboard，starboard。Be，be，be，bous，bous，bous，criedPanurge；bous，bous，be，be，be，bous，bous，Iamlost。

Iseeneitherheavennorearth；ofthefourelementswehavehereonlyfireandwaterleft。Bou，bou，bou，bous，bous，bous。WoulditwerethepleasureoftheworthydivinebountythatIwereatthispresenthourinthecloseatSeuille，oratInnocent\'sthepastry-cookoveragainstthepaintedwine-vaultatChinon，thoughIweretostriptomydoublet，andbakethepetti-pastiesmyself。

Honestman，couldnotyouthrowmeashore？youcandoaworldofgoodthings，theysay。IgiveyouallSalmigondinois，andmylargeshorefullofwhelks，cockles，andperiwinkles，if，byyourindustry，Ieversetfootonfirmground。Alas，alas！Idrown。Harkee，myfriends，sincewecannotgetsafeintoport，letuscometoananchorinsomeroad，nomatterwhither。Dropallyouranchors；letusbeoutofdanger，Ibeseechyou。

Here，honesttar，getyouintothechains，andheavethelead，an\'tpleaseyou。Letusknowhowmanyfathomwaterwearein。Sound，friend，intheLordHarry\'sname。Letusknowwhetheramanmightheredrinkeasilywithoutstooping。Iamapttobelieveonemight。Helma-lee，hoh，criedthepilot。Helma-lee；ahandortwoatthehelm；aboutshipswithher；

helma-lee，helma-lee。Standofffromtheleechofthesail。Hoh！belay，heremakefastbelow；hoh，helma-lee，lashsurethehelma-lee，andletherdrive。Isitcometothat？saidPantagruel；ourgoodSaviourthenhelpus。Letherlieunderthesea，criedJamesBrahier，ourchiefmate；letherdrive。Toprayers，toprayers；letallthinkontheirsouls，andfalltoprayers；norhopetoescapebutbyamiracle。Letus，saidPanurge，makesomegoodpiouskindofvow；alas，alas，alas！bou，bou，be，be，be，bous，bous，bous，oho，oho，oho，oho，letusmakeapilgrim；come，come，leteverymanclubhispennytowardsit，comeon。Here，here，onthisside，saidFriarJohn，inthedevil\'sname。Letherdrive，fortheLord\'ssakeunhangtherudder；hoh，letherdrive，letherdrive，andletusdrink，Isay，ofthebestandmostcheering；d\'yehear，steward？produce，exhibit；for，d\'yeseethis，andalltherestwillaswellgotothedeviloutofhand。Apoxonthatwind-brokerAeolus，withhisfluster-blusters。

Sirrah，page，bringmeheremydrawer(forsohecalledhisbreviary)；stayalittlehere；haul，friend，thus。Odzoons，hereisadealofhailandthundertonopurpose。Holdfastabove，Iprayyou。WhenhaveweAll-

saintsday？Ibelieveitistheunholyholidayofallthedevil\'screw。

Alas！saidPanurge，FriarJohndamnshimselfhereasblackasbuttermilkforthenonce。Oh，whatagoodfriendIloseinhim。Alas，alas！thisisanothergats-boutthanlastyear\'s。WearefallingoutofScyllaintoCharybdis。Oho！Idrown。Confiteor；onepoorwordortwobywayoftestament，FriarJohn，myghostlyfather；goodMr。Abstractor，mycrony，myAchates，Xenomanes，myall。Alas！Idrown；twowordsoftestamenthereuponthisladder。

Chapter4。XXI。

Acontinuationofthestorm，withashortdiscourseonthesubjectofmakingtestamentsatsea。

Tomakeone\'slastwill，saidEpistemon，atthistimethatweoughttobestirourselvesandhelpourseamen，onthepenaltyofbeingdrowned，seemstomeasidleandridiculousamaggotasthatofsomeofCaesar\'smen，who，attheircomingintotheGauls，weremightilybusiedinmakingwillsandcodicils；bemoanedtheirfortuneandtheabsenceoftheirspousesandfriendsatRome，whenitwasabsolutelynecessaryforthemtoruntotheirarmsandusetheirutmoststrengthagainstAriovistustheirenemy。

Thisalsoistobeassillyasthatjolt-headedloblollyofacarter，who，havinglaidthiswaggonfastinaslough，downonhismarrow-boneswascallingonthestrong-backeddeity，Hercules，mightandmain，tohelphimatadeadlift，butallthewhileforgottogoadonhisoxenandlayhisshouldertothewheels，asitbehovedhim；asifaLordhavemercyuponusalonewouldhavegothiscartoutofthemire。

Whatwillitsignifytomakeyourwillnow？foreitherweshallcomeoffordrownforit。Ifwe\'scape，itwillnotsignifyastrawtous；fortestamentsareofnovalueorauthoritybutbythedeathofthetestators。

Ifwearedrowned，willitnotbedrownedtoo？Prithee，whowilltransmitittotheexecutors？Somekindwavewillthrowitashore，likeUlysses，repliedPanurge；andsomeking\'sdaughter，goingtofetchawalkinthefresco，ontheeveningwillfindit，andtakecaretohaveitprovedandfulfilled；nay，andhavesomestatelycenotapherectedtomymemory，asDidohadtothatofhergoodmanSichaeus；AeneastoDeiphobus，upontheTrojanshore，nearRhoete；AndromachetoHector，inthecityofButhrot；

AristotletoHermiasandEubulus；theAthenianstothepoetEuripides；theRomanstoDrususinGermany，andtoAlexanderSeverus，theiremperor，intheGauls；ArgentiertoCallaischre；XenocratestoLysidices；TimarestohissonTeleutagoras；EupolisandAristodicetotheirsonTheotimus；

OnestustoTimocles；CallimachustoSopolis，thesonofDioclides；Catullustohisbrother；Statiustohisfather；GermainofBrietoHerve，theBretontarpaulin。Artthoumad，saidFriarJohn，torunonatthisrate？Help，here，inthenameoffivehundredthousandmillionsofcartloadsofdevils，help！mayashankergnawthymoustachios，andthethreerowsofpock-royalsandcauliflowerscoverthybumandturd-barrelinsteadofbreechesandcodpiece。Codsooks，ourshipisalmostoverset。Ods-death，howshallweclearher？itiswellifshedonotfounder。Whatadevilishseathereruns！She\'llneithertrynorhull；theseawillovertakeher，soweshallnever\'scape；thedevil\'scapeme。ThenPantagruelwasheardtomakeasadexclamation，saying，withaloudvoice，Lordsaveus，weperish；yetnotaswewouldhaveit，butthyholywillbedone。TheLordandtheblessedVirginbewithus，saidPanurge。Holos，alas，Idrown；bebebebous，bebous，bous；inmanus。Goodheavens，sendmesomedolphintocarrymesafeonshore，likeaprettylittleArion。Ishallmakeshifttosoundtheharp，ifitbenotunstrung。Letnineteenlegionsofblackdevilsseizeme，saidFriarJohn。(TheLordbewithus！whisperedPanurge，betweenhischatteringteeth。)IfIcomedowntothee，I\'llshowtheetosomepurposethatthebadgeofthyhumanitydanglesatacalf\'sbreech，thouragged，horned，cuckoldybooby——mgna，mgnan，mgnan——comehitherandhelpus，thougreatweepingcalf，ormaythirtymillionsofdevilsleaponthee。Wiltthoucome，sea-calf？Fie；howuglythehowlingwhelplooks。What，alwaysthesameditty？Comeonnow，mybonnydrawer。Thishesaid，openinghisbreviary。Comeforward，thouandImustbesomewhatseriousforawhile；

letmeperusetheestiffly。Beatusvirquinonabiit。Pshaw，Iknowallthisbyheart；letusseethelegendofMons。St。Nicholas。

Horridatempestasmontemturbavitacutum。

TempestwasamightyfloggerofladsatMountaguCollege。Ifpedantsbedamnedforwhippingpoorlittleinnocentwretchestheirscholars，heis，uponmyhonour，bythistimefixedwithinIxion\'swheel，lashingthecrop-

eared，bobtailedcurthatgivesitmotion。Iftheyaresavedforhavingwhippedinnocentlads，heoughttobeabovethe——

Chapter4。XXII。

Anendofthestorm。

Shore，shore！criedPantagruel。Landto，myfriends，Iseeland！Pluckupagoodspirit，boys，\'tiswithinakenning。So！wearenotfarfromaport——Iseetheskyclearinguptothenorthwards——Looktothesouth-

east！Courage，myhearts，saidthepilot；nowshe\'llbearthehullockofasail；theseaismuchsmoother；somehandsalofttothemaintop。Putthehelma-weather。Steady！steady！Haulyourafter-mizenbowlines。Haul，haul，haul！Thus，thus，andnonear。Mindyoursteerage；bringyourmain-

tackaboard。Clearyoursheets；clearyourbowlines；port，port。Helma-

lee。Nowtothesheetonthestarboardside，thousonofawhore。Thouartmightilypleased，honestfellow，quothFriarJohn，withhearingmakementionofthymother。Luff，luff，criedthequartermasterthatconnedtheship，keepherfull，luffthehelm。Luff。Itis，answeredthesteersman。

Keepherthus。Getthebonnetsfixed。Steady，steady。

Thatiswellsaid，saidFriarJohnnow，thisissomethinglikeatansy。

Come，come，come，children，benimble。Good。Luff，luff，thus。Helma-

weather。That\'swellsaidandthoughton。Methinksthestormisalmostover。Itwashightime，faith；however，theLordbethanked。Ourdevilsbegintoscamper。Outwithallyoursails。Hoistyoursails。Hoist。

Thatisspokelikeaman，hoist，hoist。Here，aGod\'sname，honestPonocrates；thouartalustyfornicator；thewhoresonwillgetnonebutboys。Eusthenes，thouartanotablefellow。Runuptothefore-topsail。

Thus，thus。Wellsaid，i\'faith；thus，thus。Idarenotfearanythingallthiswhile，foritisholiday。Vea，vea，vea！huzza！Thisshoutoftheseamanisnotamiss，andpleasesme，foritisholiday。Keepherfullthus。Good。Cheerup，mymerrymatesall，criedoutEpistemon；IseealreadyCastorontheright。Be，be，bous，bous，bous，saidPanurge；IammuchafraiditisthebitchHelen。ItistrulyMixarchagenas，returnedEpistemon，ifthoulikestbetterthatdenomination，whichtheArgivesgivehim。Ho，ho！Iseelandtoo；letherbearinwiththeharbour；Iseeagoodmanypeopleonthebeach；Iseealightonanobeliscolychny。Shortenyoursails，saidthepilot；fetchthesoundingline；wemustdoublethatpointofland，andmindthesands。Weareclearofthem，saidthesailors。

Soonafter，Awayshegoes，quoththepilot，andsodoththerestourfleet；

helpcameingoodseason。

BySt。John，saidPanurge，thisisspokesomewhatlike。Othesweetword！

thereisthesoulofmusicinit。Mgna，mgna，mgna，saidFriarJohn；ifeverthoutasteadropofit，letthedevil\'sdamtasteme，thouballockydevil。Here，honestsoul，here\'safullsneakeroftheverybest。Bringtheflagons；dosthear，Gymnast:andthatsamelargepastyjambic，gammonic，asyouwillhaveit。Takeheedyoupilotherinright。

Cheerup，criedoutPantagruel；cheerup，myboys；letusbeourselvesagain。Doyouseeyonder，closebyourship，twobarks，threesloops，fiveships，eightpinks，fouryawls，andsixfrigatesmakingtowardsus，sentbythegoodpeopleoftheneighbouringislandtoourrelief？ButwhoisthisUcalegonbelow，thatcriesandmakessuchasadmoan？WereitnotthatI

holdthemastfirmlywithbothmyhands，andkeepitstraighterthantwohundredtacklings——Iwould——Itis，saidFriarJohn，thatpoordevilPanurge，whoistroubledwithacalf\'sague；hequakesforfearwhenhisbelly\'sfull。If，saidPantagruel，hehathbeenafraidduringthisdreadfulhurricaneanddangerousstorm，provided(waivingthat)hehathdonehispartlikeaman，Idonotvaluehimajotthelessforit。Forastofearinallencountersisthemarkofaheavyandcowardlyheart，asAgamemnondid，whoforthatreasonisignominiouslytaxedbyAchilleswithhavingdog\'seyesandastag\'sheart；so，nottofearwhenthecaseisevidentlydreadfulisasignofwantorsmallnessofjudgment。Now，ifanythingoughttobefearedinthislife，nexttooffendingGod，Iwillnotsayitisdeath。IwillnotmeddlewiththedisputesofSocratesandtheacademics，thatdeathofitselfisneitherbadnortobefeared，butIwillaffirmthatthiskindofshipwreckistobefeared，ornothingis。For，asHomersaith，itisagrievous，dreadful，andunnaturalthingtoperishatsea。AndindeedAeneas，inthestormthattookhisfleetnearSicily，wasgrievedthathehadnotdiedbythehandofthebraveDiomedes，andsaidthatthosewerethree，nayfourtimeshappy，whoperishedintheconflagrationatTroy。Nomanherehathlosthislife，theLordourSaviourbeeternallypraisedforit！butintruthhereisashipsadlyoutoforder。Well，wemusttakecaretohavethedamagerepaired。Takeheedwedonotrunagroundandbulgeher。

Chapter4。XXIII。

HowPanurgeplayedthegoodfellowwhenthestormwasover。

Whatcheer，ho，foreandaft？quothPanurge。Ohho！alliswell，thestormisover。Ibeseechye，besokindastoletmebethefirstthatissentonshore；forIwouldbyallmeansalittleuntrussapoint。ShallIhelpyoustill？Here，letmesee，Iwillcoilthisrope；Ihaveplentyofcourage，andoffearaslittleasmaybe。Giveitmeyonder，honesttar。

No，no，Ihavenotabitoffear。Indeed，thatsamedecumanewavethattookusforeandaftsomewhatalteredmypulse。Downwithyoursails；wellsaid。Hownow，FriarJohn？youdonothing。Isittimeforustodrinknow？WhocantellbutSt。Martin\'srunningfootmanBelzebuthmaystillbehatchingussomefurthermischief？ShallIcomeandhelpyouagain？Porkandpeaschokeme，ifIdoheartilyrepent，thoughtoolate，nothavingfollowedthedoctrineofthegoodphilosopherwhotellsusthattowalkbytheseaandtonavigatebytheshoreareverysafeandpleasantthings；

justas\'tistogoonfootwhenweholdourhorsebythebridle。Ha！ha！

ha！byG——，allgoeswell。ShallIhelpyouheretoo？Letmesee，Iwilldothisasitshouldbe，orthedevil\'sin\'t。

Epistemon，whohadtheinsideofoneofhishandsallflayedandbloody，havingheldatacklingwithmightandmain，hearingwhatPantagruelhadsaid，toldhim:Youmaybelieve，mylord，IhadmyshareoffearaswellasPanurge；yetIsparednopainsinlendingmyhelpinghand。Iconsideredthat，sincebyfatalandunavoidablenecessitywemustalldie，itistheblessedwillofGodthatwediethisorthathour，andthisorthatkindofdeath。Nevertheless，weoughttoimplore，invoke，pray，beseech，andsupplicatehim；butwemustnotstopthere；itbehovethusalsotouseourendeavoursonourside，and，astheholywritsaith，toco-operatewithhim。

YouknowwhatC。Flaminius，theconsul，saidwhenbyHannibal\'spolicyhewaspennedupnearthelakeofPeruse，aliasThrasymene。Friends，saidhetohissoldiers，youmustnothopetogetoutofthisplacebarelybyvowsorprayerstothegods；no，\'tisbyfortitudeandstrengthwemustescapeandcutourselvesawaywiththeedgeofourswordsthroughthemidstofourenemies。

SallustlikewisemakesM。PortiusCatosaythis:Thehelpofthegodsisnotobtainedbyidlevowsandwomanishcomplaints；\'tisbyvigilance，labour，andrepeatedendeavoursthatallthingssucceedaccordingtoourwishesanddesigns。Ifamanintimeofneedanddangerisnegligent，heartless，andlazy，invainheimploresthegods；theyarethenjustlyangryandincensedagainsthim。Thedeviltakeme，saidFriarJohn，——I\'llgohishalves，quothPanurge，——ifthecloseofSevillehadnotbeenallgathered，vintaged，gleaned，anddestroyed，ifIhadonlysungcontrahostiuminsidias(matterofbreviary)likealltherestofthemonkingdevils，andhadnotbestirredmyselftosavethevineyardasIdid，despatchingthetruantpicaroonsofLernewiththestaffofthecross。

LethersinkorswimaGod\'sname，saidPanurge，all\'sonetoFriarJohn；

hedothnothing；hisnameisFriarJohnDo-little；forallheseesmeherea-sweatingandpuffingtohelpwithallmymightthishonesttar，firstofthename——Harkyoume，dearsoul，awordwithyou；butpraybenotangry。

Howthickdoyoujudgetheplanksofourshiptobe？Sometwogoodinchesandupwards，returnedthepilot；don\'tfear。Ods-kilderkins，saidPanurge，itseemsthenwearewithintwofingers\'breadthofdamnation。

Isthisoneoftheninecomfortsofmatrimony？Ah，dearsoul，youdowelltomeasurethedangerbytheyardoffear。Formypart，Ihavenoneon\'t；

mynameisWilliamDreadnought。Asforheart，Ihavemorethanenoughon\'t。Imeannoneofyoursheep\'sheart；butofwolf\'sheart——thecourageofabravo。BythepavilionofMars，Ifearnothingbutdanger。

Chapter4。XXIV。

HowPanurgewassaidtohavebeenafraidwithoutreasonduringthestorm。

Goodmorrow，gentlemen，saidPanurge；goodmorrowtoyouall；youareinverygoodhealth，thankstoheavenandyourselves；youareallheartilywelcome，andingoodtime。Letusgoonshore——Here，coxswain，gettheladderoverthegunnel；manthesides；manthepinnace，andgetherbytheship\'sside。ShallIlendyouahandhere？Iamstarkmadforwantofbusiness，andwouldworklikeanytwoyokesofoxen。Trulythisisafineplace，andtheselooklikeaverygoodpeople。Children，doyouwantmestillinanything？donotsparethesweatofmybody，forGod\'ssake。

Adam——thatis，man——wasmadetolabourandwork，asthebirdsweremadetofly。OurLord\'swillisthatwegetourbreadwiththesweatofourbrows，notidlinganddoingnothing，likethistatterdemalionofamonkhere，thisFriarJack，whoisfaintodrinktoheartenhimselfup，anddiesforfear——

Rareweather——InowfindtheanswerofAnacharsis，thenoblephilosopher，veryproper。Beingaskedwhatshiphereckonedthesafest，hereplied:

Thatwhichisintheharbour。Hemadeayetbetterrepartee，saidPantagruel，whensomebodyinquiringwhichisgreater，thenumberofthelivingorthatofthedead，heaskedthemamongstwhichofthetwotheyreckonedthosethatareatsea，ingeniouslyimplyingthattheyarecontinuallyindangerofdeath，dyingalive，andlivingdie。PortiusCatoalsosaidthattherewerebutthreethingsofwhichhewouldrepent:ifeverhehadtrustedhiswifewithhissecret，ifhehadidledawayaday，andifhehadevergonebyseatoaplacewhichhecouldvisitbyland。Bythisdignifiedfrockofmine，saidFriarJohntoPanurge，friend，thouhastbeenafraidduringthestormwithoutcauseorreason；forthouwertnotborntobedrowned，butrathertobehangedandexaltedintheair，ortoberoastedinthemidstofajollybonfire。Mylord，wouldyouhaveagoodcloakfortherain；leavemeoffyourwolfandbadger-skinmantle；letPanurgebutbeflayed，andcoveryourselfwithhishide。Butdonotcomenearthefire，nornearyourblacksmith\'sforges，aGod\'sname；forinamomentyouwillseeitinashes。Yetbeaslongasyoupleaseintherain，snow，hail，nay，bythedevil\'smaker，throwyourselfordivedowntotheverybottomofthewater，I\'llengageyou\'llnotbewetatall。Havesomewinterbootsmadeofit，they\'llnevertakeinadropofwater；makebladdersofittolayunderboystoteachthemtoswim，insteadofcorks，andtheywilllearnwithouttheleastdanger。Hisskin，then，saidPantagruel，shouldbeliketheherbcalledtruemaiden\'shair，whichnevertakeswetnormoistness，butstillkeepsdry，thoughyoulayitatthebottomofthewateraslongasyouplease；andforthatreasoniscalledAdiantos。

FriendPanurge，saidFriarJohn，Ipraytheeneverbeafraidofwater；thylifeforminethouartthreatenedwithacontraryelement。Ay，ay，repliedPanurge，butthedevil\'scooksdotesometimes，andareapttomakehorridblundersaswellasothers；oftenputtingtoboilinwaterwhatwasdesignedtoberoastedonthefire；likethehead-cooksofourkitchen，whooftenlardpartridges，queests，andstock-doveswithintenttoroastthem，onewouldthink；butithappenssometimesthattheye\'enturnthepartridgesintothepottobeboiledwithcabbages，thequeestswithleekpottage，andthestock-doveswithturnips。Butharkyoume，goodfriends，Iprotestbeforethisnoblecompany，thatasforthechapelwhichIvowedtoMons。St。NicholasbetweenQuandeandMontsoreau，Ihonestlymeanthatitshallbeachapelofrose-water，whichshallbewhereneithercownorcalfshallbefed；forbetweenyouandI，Iintendtothrowittothebottomofthewater。Hereisararerogueforyou，saidEusthenes；hereisapurerogue，arogueingrain，arogueenough，arogueandahalf。HeisresolvedtomakegoodtheLombardicproverb，Passatoelpericolo，gabbatoelsanto。

Thedevilwassick，thedevilamonkwouldbe；

Thedevilwaswell，thedevilamonkwashe。

Chapter4。XXV。

How，afterthestorm，PantagruelwentonshoreintheislandsoftheMacreons。

ImmediatelyafterwewentashoreattheportofanislandwhichtheycalledtheislandoftheMacreons。Thegoodpeopleoftheplacereceivedusveryhonourably。AnoldMacrobius(sotheycalledtheireldestelderman)

desiredPantagrueltocometothetown-housetorefreshhimselfandeatsomething，buthewouldnotbudgeafootfromthemoletillallhismenwerelanded。Afterhehadseenthem，hegaveorderthattheyshouldallchangeclothes，andthatsomeofallthestoresinthefleetshouldbebroughtonshore，thateveryship\'screwmightlivewell；whichwasaccordinglydone，andGodwothowwelltheyalltopedandcaroused。Thepeopleoftheplacebroughtthemprovisionsinabundance。ThePantagruelistsreturnedthemmore；asthetruthis，theirsweresomewhatdamagedbythelatestorm。Whentheyhadwellstuffedtheinsidesoftheirdoublets，Pantagrueldesiredeveryonetolendtheirhelptorepairthedamage；whichtheyreadilydid。Itwaseasyenoughtorefitthere；foralltheinhabitantsoftheislandwerecarpentersandallsuchhandicraftsasareseeninthearsenalatVenice。Nonebutthelargestislandwasinhabited，havingthreeportsandtenparishes；therestbeingoverrunwithwoodanddesert，muchliketheforestofArden。WeentreatedtheoldMacrobiustoshowuswhatwasworthseeingintheisland；whichhedid；andinthedesertanddarkforestwediscoveredseveraloldruinedtemples，obelisks，pyramids，monuments，andancienttombs，withdiversinscriptionsandepitaphs；someoftheminhieroglyphiccharacters；othersintheIonicdialect；someintheArabic，Agarenian，Slavonian，andothertongues；ofwhichEpistemontookanexactaccount。Intheinterim，PanurgesaidtoFriarJohn，IsthistheislandoftheMacreons？MacreonsignifiesinGreekanoldman，oronemuchstrickeninyears。Whatisthattome？saidFriarJohn；howcanIhelpit？Iwasnotinthecountrywhentheychristenedit。

NowIthinkon\'t，quothPanurge，Ibelievethenameofmackerel(Motteuxadds，betweenbrackets，——\'that\'saBawdinFrench。\')wasderivedfromit；

forprocuringistheprovinceoftheold，asbuttock-rigglingisthatoftheyoung。ThereforeIdonotknowbutthismaybethebawdyorMackerelIsland，theoriginalandprototypeoftheislandofthatnameatParis。

Let\'sgoanddredgeforcock-oysters。OldMacrobiusasked，intheIonictongue，How，andbywhatindustryandlabour，Pantagruelgottotheirportthatday，therehavingbeensuchblusteringweatherandsuchadreadfulstormatsea。PantagrueltoldhimthattheAlmightyPreserverofmankindhadregardedthesimplicityandsincereaffectionofhisservants，whodidnottravelforgainorsordidprofit，thesoledesignoftheirvoyagebeingastudiousdesiretoknow，see，andvisittheOracleofBacbuc，andtakethewordoftheBottleuponsomedifficultiesofferedbyoneofthecompany；neverthelessthishadnotbeenwithoutgreatafflictionandevidentdangerofshipwreck。Afterthat，heaskedhimwhathejudgedtobethecauseofthatterribletempest，andiftheadjacentseaswerethusfrequentlysubjecttostorms；asintheoceanaretheRatzofSammaieu，Maumusson，andintheMediterraneanseatheGulfofSataly，Montargentan，Piombino，CapoMelioinLaconia，theStraitsofGibraltar，FarodiMessina，andothers。

Chapter4。XXVI。

HowthegoodMacrobiusgaveusanaccountofthemansionanddeceaseoftheheroes。

ThegoodMacrobiusthenanswered，Friendlystrangers，thisislandisoneoftheSporades；notofyourSporadesthatlieintheCarpathiansea，butoneoftheSporadesoftheocean；informertimesrich，frequented，wealthy，populous，fulloftraffic，andinthedominionsoftherulersofBritain，butnow，bycourseoftime，andintheselatteragesoftheworld，pooranddesolate，asyousee。Inthisdarkforest，aboveseventy-eightthousandPersianleaguesincompass，isthedwelling-placeofthedemonsandheroesthataregrownold，andwebelievethatsomeoneofthemdiedyesterday；

sincethecometwhichwesawforthreedaysbeforetogether，shinesnomore；andnowitislikelythatathisdeaththerearosethishorriblestorm；forwhiletheyarealiveallhappinessattendsboththisandtheadjacentislands，andasettledcalmandserenity。Atthedeathofeveryoneofthem，wecommonlyhearintheforestloudandmournfulgroans，andthewholelandisinfestedwithpestilence，earthquakes，inundations，andothercalamities；theairwithfogsandobscurity，andtheseawithstormsandhurricanes。Whatyoutellusseemstomelikelyenough，saidPantagruel。Forasatorchorcandle，aslongasithathlifeenoughandislighted，shinesroundabout，dispersesitslight，delightsthosethatarenearit，yieldsthemitsserviceandclearness，andnevercausesanypainordispleasure；butassoonas\'tisextinguished，itssmokeandevaporationinfectstheair，offendsthebystanders，andisnoisometoall；

so，aslongasthosenobleandrenownedsoulsinhabittheirbodies，peace，profit，pleasure，andhonourneverleavetheplaceswheretheyabide；butassoonastheyleavethem，boththecontinentandadjacentislandsareannoyedwithgreatcommotions；intheairfogs，darkness，thunder，hail；

tremblings，pulsations，agitationsoftheearth；stormsandhurricanesatsea；togetherwithsadcomplaintsamongstthepeople，broachingofreligions，changesingovernments，andruinsofcommonwealths。

Wehadasadinstanceofthislately，saidEpistemon，atthedeathofthatvaliantandlearnedknight，WilliamduBellay；duringwhoselifeFranceenjoyedsomuchhappiness，thatalltherestoftheworldlookeduponitwithenvy，soughtfriendshipwithit，andstoodinaweofitspower；butsoonafterhisdeceaseithathforaconsiderabletimebeenthescornoftherestoftheworld。

Thus，saidPantagruel，AnchisesbeingdeadatDrepaniinSicily，Aeneaswasdreadfullytossedandendangeredbyastorm；andperhapsforthesamereasonHerod，thattyrantandcruelKingofJudaea，findinghimselfnearthepangsofahorridkindofdeath——forhediedofaphthiriasis，devouredbyverminandlice；asbeforehimdiedL。Sylla，PherecydestheSyrian，thepreceptorofPythagoras，andGreekpoetAlcmaeon，andothers——andforeseeingthattheJewswouldmakebonfiresathisdeath，causedallthenoblesandmagistratestobesummonedtohisseragliooutofallthecities，towns，andcastlesofJudaea，fraudulentlypretendingthathehadsomethingsofmomenttoimparttothem。Theymadetheirpersonalappearance；whereuponhecausedthemalltobeshutupinthehippodromeoftheseraglio；thensaidtohissisterSalomeandAlexanderherhusband:I

amcertainthattheJewswillrejoiceatmydeath；butifyouwillobserveandperformwhatItellyou，myfuneralshallbehonourable，andtherewillbeageneralmourning。Assoonasyouseemedead，letmyguards，towhomIhavealreadygivenstrictcommissiontothatpurpose，killallthenoblemenandmagistratesthataresecuredinthehippodrome。BythesemeansallJewryshall，inspiteofthemselves，beobligedtomournandlament，andforeignerswillimagineittobeformydeath，asifsomeheroicsoulhadleftherbody。Adesperatetyrantwishedasmuchwhenhesaid，WhenIdie，letearthandfirebemixedtogether；whichwasasgoodastosay，letthewholeworldperish。WhichsayingthetyrantNeroaltered，saying，WhileIlive，asSuetoniusaffirmsit。Thisdetestablesaying，ofwhichCicero，lib。DeFinib。，andSeneca，lib。2，DeClementia，makemention，isascribedtotheEmperorTiberiusbyDionNicaeusandSuidas。

Chapter4。XXVII。

Pantagruel\'sdiscourseofthedeceaseofheroicsouls；andofthedreadfulprodigiesthathappenedbeforethedeathofthelateLorddeLangey。

Iwouldnot，continuedPantagruel，havemissedthestormthathaththusdisorderedus，wereIalsotohavemissedtherelationofthesethingstoldusbythisgoodMacrobius。NeitheramIunwillingtobelievewhathesaidofacometthatappearsintheskysomedaysbeforesuchadecease。Forsomeofthosesoulsaresonoble，soprecious，andsoheroicthatheavengivesusnoticeoftheirdepartingsomedaysbeforeithappens。Andasaprudentphysician，seeingbysomesymptomsthathispatientdrawstowardshisend，somedaysbeforegivesnoticeofittohiswife，children，kindred，andfriends，that，inthatlittletimehehathyettolive，theymayadmonishhimtosettleallthingsinhisfamily，totutorandinstructhischildrenasmuchashecan，recommendhisrelicttohisfriendsinherwidowhood，anddeclarewhatheknowstobenecessaryaboutaprovisionfortheorphans；thathemaynotbesurprisedbydeathwithoutmakinghiswill，andmaytakecareofhissoulandfamily；inthesamemannertheheavens，asitwerejoyfulfortheapproachingreceptionofthoseblessedsouls，seemtomakebonfiresbythosecometsandblazingmeteors，whichtheyatthesametimekindlydesignshouldprognosticatetousherethatinafewdaysoneofthosevenerablesoulsistoleaveherbodyandthisterrestrialglobe。NotaltogetherunlikethiswaswhatwasformerlydoneatAthensbythejudgesoftheAreopagus。Forwhentheygavetheirverdicttocastorcleartheculpritsthatweretriedbeforethem，theyusedcertainnotesaccordingtothesubstanceofthesentences；byThetasignifyingcondemnationtodeath；byT，absolution；byA，ampliationorademur，whenthecasewasnotsufficientlyexamined。Thushavingpubliclysetupthoseletters，theyeasedtherelationsandfriendsoftheprisoners，andsuchothersasdesiredtoknowtheirdoom，oftheirdoubts。Likewisebythesecomets，asinetherealcharacters，theheavenssilentlysaytous，Makehaste，mortals，ifyouwouldknoworlearnoftheblessedsoulsanythingconcerningthepublicgoodoryourprivateinterest；fortheircatastropheisnear，whichbeingpast，youwillvainlywishforthemafterwards。

Thegood-naturedheavensstilldomore；andthatmankindmaybedeclaredunworthyoftheenjoymentofthoserenownedsouls，theyfrightandastonishuswithprodigies，monsters，andotherforebodingsignsthatthwarttheorderofnature。

OfthiswehadaninstanceseveraldaysbeforethedeceaseoftheheroicsoulofthelearnedandvaliantChevalierdeLangey，ofwhomyouhavealreadyspoken。Irememberit，saidEpistemon；andmyheartstilltrembleswithinmewhenIthinkonthemanydreadfulprodigiesthatwesawfiveorsixdaysbeforehedied。FortheLordsD\'Assier，Chemant，one-eyedMailly，St。Ayl，Villeneufue-la-Guyart，MasterGabriel，physicianofSavillan，Rabelais，Cohuau，Massuau，Majorici，Bullou，Cercu，aliasBourgmaistre，FrancisProust，Ferron，CharlesGirard，FrancisBourre，andmanyotherfriendsandservantstothedeceased，alldismayed，gazedoneachotherwithoututteringoneword；yetnotwithoutforeseeingthatFrancewouldinashorttimebedeprivedofaknightsoaccomplishedandnecessaryforitsgloryandprotection，andthatheavenclaimedhimagainasitsdue。Bythetuftedtipofmycowl，criedFriarJohn，Iame\'enresolvedtobecomeascholarbeforeIdie。Ihaveaprettygoodheadpieceofmyown，youmustown。Nowpraygivemeleavetoaskyouacivilquestion。Canthesesameheroesordemigodsyoutalkofdie？MayIneverbedamnedifIwasnotsomuchalobcockastobelievetheyhadbeenimmortal，likesomanyfineangels。Heavenforgiveme！butthismostreverendfather，Macroby，tellsustheydieatlast。Notall，returnedPantagruel。

TheStoicsheldthemalltobemortal，exceptone，whoaloneisimmortal，impassible，invisible。Pindarplainlysaiththatthereisnomorethread，thatistosay，nomorelife，spunfromthedistaffandflaxofthehard-

heartedFatesforthegoddessesHamadryadesthanthereisforthosetreesthatarepreservedbythem，whicharegood，sturdy，downrightoaks；whencetheyderivedtheiroriginal，accordingtotheopinionofCallimachusandPausaniasinPhoci。WithwhomconcursMartianusCapella。Asforthedemigods，fauns，satyrs，sylvans，hobgoblins，aegipanes，nymphs，heroes，anddemons，severalmenhave，fromthetotalsum，whichistheresultofthediversagescalculatedbyHesiod，reckonedtheirlifetobe9720years；

thatsumconsistingoffourspecialnumbersorderlyarisingfromone，thesameaddedtogetherandmultipliedbyfoureverywayamountstoforty；

theseforties，beingreducedintotrianglesbyfivetimes，makeupthetotaloftheaforesaidnumber。SeePlutarch，inhisbookabouttheCessationofOracles。

This，saidFriarJohn，isnotmatterofbreviary；ImaybelieveaslittleorasmuchofitasyouandIplease。Ibelieve，saidPantagruel，thatallintellectualsoulsareexemptedfromAtropos\'sscissors。Theyareallimmortal，whethertheybeofangels，ordemons，orhuman；yetIwilltellyouastoryconcerningthisthatisverystrange，butiswrittenandaffirmedbyseverallearnedhistorians。

Chapter4。XXVIII。

HowPantagruelrelatedaverysadstoryofthedeathoftheheroes。

Epitherses，thefatherofAemiliantherhetorician，sailingfromGreecetoItalyinashipfreightedwithdiversgoodsandpassengers，atnightthewindfailed\'emneartheEchinades，someislandsthatliebetweentheMoreaandTunis，andthevesselwasdrivennearPaxos。Whentheyweregotthither，someofthepassengersbeingasleep，othersawake，theresteatinganddrinking，avoicewasheardthatcalledaloud，Thamous！whichcrysurprisedthemall。ThissameThamouswastheirpilot，anEgyptianbybirth，butknownbynameonlytosomefewtravellers。ThevoicewasheardasecondtimecallingThamous，inafrightfultone；andnonemakinganswer，buttremblingandremainingsilent，thevoicewasheardathirdtime，moredreadfulthanbefore。

ThiscausedThamoustoanswer:HereamI；whatdostthoucallmefor？

Whatwiltthouhavemedo？Thenthevoice，louderthanbefore，bidhimpublishwhenheshouldcometoPalodes，thatthegreatgodPanwasdead。

Epithersesrelatedthatallthemarinersandpassengers，havingheardthis，wereextremelyamazedandfrighted；andthat，consultingamongthemselveswhethertheyhadbestconcealordivulgewhatthevoicehadenjoined，Thamoussaidhisadvicewasthatiftheyhappenedtohaveafairwindtheyshouldproceedwithoutmentioningawordon\'t，butiftheychancedtobebecalmedhewouldpublishwhathehadheard。NowwhentheywerenearPalodestheyhadnowind，neitherweretheyinanycurrent。Thamousthengettinguponthetopoftheship\'sforecastle，andcastinghiseyesontheshore，saidthathehadbeencommandedtoproclaimthatthegreatgodPanwasdead。Thewordswerehardlyoutofhismouth，whendeepgroans，greatlamentations，anddolefulshrieks，notofoneperson，butofmanytogether，wereheardfromtheland。

Thenewsofthis——manybeingpresentthen——wassoonspreadatRome；

insomuchthatTiberius，whowasthenemperor，sentforthisThamous，andhavingheardhimgavecredittohiswords。AndinquiringofthelearnedinhiscourtandatRomewhowasthatPan，hefoundbytheirrelationthathewasthesonofMercuryandPenelope，asHerodotusandCiceroinhisthirdbookoftheNatureoftheGodshadwrittenbefore。

Formypart，IunderstanditofthatgreatSaviourofthefaithfulwhowasshamefullyputtodeathatJerusalembytheenvyandwickednessofthedoctors，priests，andmonksoftheMosaiclaw。Andmethinksmyinterpretationisnotimproper；forhemaylawfullybesaidintheGreektonguetobePan，sinceheisourall。Forallthatweare，allthatwelive，allthatwehave，allthatwehope，ishim，byhim，fromhim，andinhim。HeisthegoodPan，thegreatshepherd，who，asthelovingshepherdCorydonaffirms，hathnotonlyatenderloveandaffectionforhissheep，butalsofortheirshepherds。Athisdeath，complaints，sighs，fears，andlamentationswerespreadthroughthewholefabricoftheuniverse，whetherheavens，land，sea，orhell。

Thetimealsoconcurswiththisinterpretationofmine；forthismostgood，mostmightyPan，ouronlySaviour，diednearJerusalemduringthereignofTiberiusCaesar。

Pantagruel，havingendedthisdiscourse，remainedsilentandfullofcontemplation。Alittlewhileafterwesawthetearsflowoutofhiseyesasbigasostrich\'seggs。GodtakemepresentlyifItellyouonesinglesyllableofalieinthematter。

Chapter4。XXIX。

HowPantagruelsailedbytheSneakingIsland，whereShrovetidereigned。

Thejovialfleetbeingrefittedandrepaired，newstorestakenin，theMacreonsoverandabovesatisfiedandpleasedwiththemoneyspenttherebyPantagruel，ourmeninbetterhumourthantheyusedtobe，ifpossible，wemerrilyputtoseathenextday，nearsunset，withadeliciousfreshgale。

XenomanesshowedusafarofftheSneakingIsland，wherereignedShrovetide，ofwhomPantagruelhadheardmuchtalkformerly；forthatreasonhewouldgladlyhaveseenhiminperson，hadnotXenomanesadvisedhimtothecontrary；first，becausethiswouldhavebeenmuchoutofourway，andthenfortheleancheerwhichhetolduswastobefoundatthatprince\'scourt，andindeedallovertheisland。

Youcanseenothingthereforyourmoney，saidhe，butahugegreedy-guts，atallwoundyswallowerofhotwardensandmussels；along-shankedmole-

catcher；anovergrownbottlerofhay；amossy-chinneddemi-giant，withadoubleshavencrown，oflanternbreed；averygreatloiteringnoddy-peakedyoungster，banner-bearertothefish-eatingtribe，dictatorofmustard-

land，floggeroflittlechildren，calcinerofashes，fatherandfoster-

fathertophysicians，swarmingwithpardons，indulgences，andstations；averyhonestman；agoodcatholic，andasbrimfulofdevotionaseverhecanhold。

Heweepsthethree-fourthpartsoftheday，andneverassistsatanyweddings；but，givethedevilhisdue，heisthemostindustriouslarding-

stickandskewer-makerinfortykingdoms。

Aboutsixyearsago，asIpassedbySneaking-land，Ibroughthomealargeskewerfromthence，andmadeapresentofittothebutchersofQuande，whosetagreatvalueuponthem，andthatforacause。Sometimeorother，ifeverwelivetocomebacktoourowncountry，Iwillshowyoutwoofthemfastenedonthegreatchurchporch。Hisusualfoodispickledcoatsofmail，salthelmetsandhead-pieces，andsaltsallets；whichsometimesmakeshimpisspinsandneedles。Asforhisclothing，\'tiscomicalenougho\'

conscience，bothformakeandcolour；forhewearsgreyandcold，nothingbefore，andnoughtbehind，withthesleevesofthesame。

Youwilldomeakindness，saidPantagruel，if，asyouhavedescribedhisclothes，food，actions，andpastimes，youwillalsogivemeanaccountofhisshapeanddispositioninallhisparts。Pritheedo，dearcod，saidFriarJohn，forIhavefoundhiminmybreviary，andthenfollowthemovableholydays。Withallmyheart，answeredXenomanes；wemaychancetohearmoreofhimaswetouchattheWildIsland，thedominionsofthesquabChitterlings，hisenemies，againstwhomheiseternallyatodds；andwereitnotforthehelpofthenobleCarnival，theirprotectorandgoodneighbour，thismeagre-lookedlozellyShrovetidewouldlongbeforethishavemadesadworkamongthem，androotedthemoutoftheirhabitation。

ArethesesameChitterlings，saidFriarJohn，maleorfemale，angelsormortals，womenormaids？Theyare，repliedXenomanes，femalesinsex，mortalinkind，someofthemmaids，othersnot。Thedevilhaveme，saidFriarJohn，ifIben\'tforthem。Whatashamefuldisorderinnature，isitnot，tomakewaragainstwomen？Let\'sgobackandhackthevillaintopieces。What！meddlewithShrovetide？criedPanurge，inthenameofBeelzebub，Iamnotyetsowearyofmylife。No，I\'mnotyetsomadasthatcomesto。Quidjuris？SupposeweshouldfindourselvespentupbetweentheChitterlingsandShrovetide？betweentheanvilandthehammers？

Shankersandbuboes！standoff！godzooks，letusmakethebestofourway。

Ibidyougoodnight，sweetMr。Shrovetide；IrecommendtoyoutheChitterlings，andpraydon\'tforgetthepuddings。

Chapter4。XXX。

HowShrovetideisanatomizedanddescribedbyXenomanes。

AsfortheinwardpartsofShrovetide，saidXenomanes；hisbrainis(atleast，itwasinmytime)inbigness，colours，substance，andstrength，muchliketheleftcodofahehand-worm。

Theventriclesofhissaidbrain，Thestomach，likeabelt。

likeanauger。Thepylorus，likeapitchfork。

Theworm-likeexcrescence，likeThewindpipe，likeanoyster-

aChristmas-box。knife。

Themembranes，likeamonk\'sThethroat，likeapincushioncowl。stuffedwithoakum。

Thefunnel，likeamason\'schisel。Thelungs，likeaprebend\'sfur-

Thefornix，likeacasket。gown。

Theglandulapinealis，likeabag-Theheart，likeacope。

pipe。Themediastine，likeanearthenTheretemirabile，likeagutter。cup。

Thedug-likeprocessus，likeaThepleura，likeacrow\'sbill。

patch。Thearteries，likeawatch-coat。

Thetympanums，likeawhirli-Themidriff，likeamontero-cap。

gig。Theliver，likeadouble-tonguedTherockybones，likeagoose-mattock。

wing。Theveins，likeasash-window。

Thenapeoftheneck，likeapaperThespleen，likeacatcall。

lantern。Theguts，likeatrammel。

Thenerves，likeapipkin。Thegall，likeacooper\'sadze。

Theuvula，likeasackbut。Theentrails，likeagauntlet。

Thepalate，likeamitten。Themesentery，likeanabbot\'sThespittle，likeashuttle。mitre。

Thealmonds，likeatelescope。Thehungrygut，likeabutton。

Thebridgeofhisnose，likeaTheblindgut，likeabreastplate。

wheelbarrow。Thecolon，likeabridle。

Theheadofthelarynx，likeaThearse-gut，likeamonk\'svintage-basket。leathernbottle。

Thekidneys，likeatrowel。Theligaments，likeatinker\'sTheloins，likeapadlock。budget。

Theureters，likeapothook。Thebones，likethree-corneredTheemulgentveins，liketwocheesecakes。

gilliflowers。Themarrow，likeawallet。

Thespermaticvessels，likeacully-Thecartilages，likeafield-

mully-puff。tortoise，aliasamole。

Theparastata，likeaninkpot。Theglandulesinthemouth，likeThebladder，likeastone-bow。apruning-knife。

Theneck，likeamill-clapper。Theanimalspirits，likeswingeingThemirach，orlowerpartsofthefisticuffs。

belly，likeahigh-crownedhat。Theblood-fermenting，likeaThesiphach，oritsinnerrind，multiplicationofflirtsonthelikeawoodencuff。nose。

Themuscles，likeapairofbellows。Theurine，likeafigpecker。

Thetendons，likeahawking-Thesperm，likeahundredten-

glove。pennynails。

Andhisnursetoldme，thatbeingmarriedtoMid-lent，heonlybegotagoodnumberoflocaladverbsandcertaindoublefasts。

Hismemoryhehadlikeascarf。Hisundertakings，liketheballastHiscommonsense，likeabuzzingofagalleon。

ofbees。Hisunderstanding，likeatornHisimagination，likethechimebreviary。

ofasetofbells。Hisnotions，likesnailscrawlingHisthoughts，likeaflightofstar-outofstrawberries。

lings。Hiswill，likethreefilbertsinaHisconscience，liketheunnest-porringer。

lingofaparcelofyoungHisdesire，likesixtrussesofhay。

herons。Hisjudgment，likeashoeing-

Hisdeliberations，likeasetofhorn。

organs。Hisdiscretion，likethetruckleofHisrepentance，likethecarriageapulley。

ofadoublecannon。Hisreason，likeacricket。

Chapter4。XXXI。

Shrovetide\'soutwardpartsanatomized。

Shrovetide，continuedXenomanes，issomewhatbetterproportionedinhisoutwardparts，exceptingthesevenribswhichhehadoverandabovethecommonshapeofmen。

HistoeswerelikeavirginalonTheperitoneum，orcaulwhereinanorgan。hisbowelswerewrapped，likeHisnails，likeagimlet。abilliard-table。

Hisfeet，likeaguitar。Hisback，likeanovergrownrack-

Hisheels，likeaclub。bentcrossbow。

Thesolesofhisfeet，likeacru-Thevertebrae，orjointsofhiscible。backbone，likeabagpipe。

Hislegs，likeahawk\'slure。Hisribs，likeaspinning-wheel。

Hisknees，likeajoint-stool。Hisbrisket，likeacanopy。

Histhighs，likeasteelcap。Hisshoulder-blades，likeamortar。

Hiships，likeawimble。Hisbreast，likeagameatnine-

Hisbellyasbigasatun，buttonedpins。

aftertheoldfashion，withaHispaps，likeahornpipe。

girdleridingoverthemiddleHisarmpits，likeachequer。

ofhisbosom。Hisshoulders，likeahand-barrow。

Hisnavel，likeacymbal。Hisarms，likeariding-hood。

Hisgroin，likeamincedpie。Hisfingers，likeabrotherhood\'sHismember，likeaslipper。andirons。

Hispurse，likeanoilcruet。Thefibulae，orlesserbonesofhisHisgenitals，likeajoiner\'splaner。legs，likeapairofstilts。

Theirerectingmuscles，likeaHisshin-bones，likesickles。

racket。Hiselbows，likeamouse-trap。

Theperineum，likeaflageolet。Hishands，likeacurry-comb。

Hisarse-hole，likeacrystallook-Hisneck，likeatalboy。

ing-glass。Histhroat，likeafelttodistilhip-

Hisbum，likeaharrow。pocras。

Theknobinhisthroat，likeaHisloins，likeabutter-pot。

barrel，wherehangedtwoHisjaws，likeacaudlecup。

brazenwens，veryfineandHisteeth，likeahunter\'sstaff。

harmonious，intheshapeofanOfsuchcolt\'steethashis，hourglass。youwillfindoneatColongesHisbeard，likealantern。lesRoyauxinPoitou，andHischin，likeamushroom。twoatLaBrosseinXaintonge，Hisears，likeapairofgloves。onthecellardoor。

Hisnose，likeabuskin。Histongue，likeajew\'s-harp。

Hisnostrils，likeaforeheadcloth。Hismouth，likeahorse-cloth。

Hiseyebrows，likeadripping-pan。Hisfaceembroideredlikeamule\'sOnhisleftbrowwasamarkofpack-saddle。

theshapeandbignessofanHisheadcontrivedlikeastill。

urinal。Hisskull，likeapouch。

Hiseyelids，likeafiddle。Thesuturae，orseamsofhisskull，Hiseyes，likeacomb-box。liketheannuluspiscatoris，orHisopticnerves，likeatinder-thefisher\'ssignet。

box。Hisskin，likeagabardine。

Hisforehead，likeafalsecup。Hisepidermis，oroutwardskin，Histemples，likethecockofalikeabolting-cloth。

cistern。Hishair，likeascrubbing-brush。

Hischeeks，likeapairofwoodenHisfur，suchasabovesaid。

shoes。

Chapter4。XXXII。

AcontinuationofShrovetide\'scountenance。

\'Tisawonderfulthing，continuedXenomanes，tohearandseethestateofShrovetide。

Ifhechancedtospit，itwaswholeWhenhetrembled，itwaslargebasketsfulofgoldfinches。venisonpasties。

Ifheblowedhisnose，itwasWhenhedidsweat，itwasoldpickledgrigs。lingwithbuttersauce。

Whenhewept，itwasduckswithWhenhebelched，itwasbushelsonionsauce。ofoysters。

Whenhesneezed，itwaswholeWhenhemuttered，itwaslawyers\'

tubfulsofmustard。revels。

Whenhecoughed，itwasboxesWhenhehoppedabout，itwasofmarmalade。lettersoflicenceandprotec-

Whenhesobbed，itwaswater-tions。

cresses。Whenhesteppedback，itwasWhenheyawned，itwaspotfulsseacockle-shells。

ofpickledpeas。Whenheslabbered，itwascom-

Whenhesighed，itwasdriedmonovens。

neats\'tongues。Whenhewashoarse，itwasanWhenhewhistled，itwasawholeentryofmorrice-dancers。

scuttlefulofgreenapes。Whenhebrokewind，itwasdunWhenhesnored，itwasawholecows\'leatherspatterdashes。

panfuloffriedbeans。Whenhefunked，itwaswashed-

Whenhefrowned，itwassousedleatherboots。

hogs\'feet。Whenhescratchedhimself，itWhenhespoke，itwascoarsewasnewproclamations。

brownrussetcloth；solittleWhenhesung，itwaspeasinitwaslikecrimsonsilk，withcods。

whichParisatisdesiredthatWhenheevacuated，itwasmush-

thewordsofsuchasspoketoroomsandmorilles。

hersonCyrus，KingofPersia，Whenhepuffed，itwascabbagesshouldbeinterwoven。withoil，aliascaulesamb\'olif。

Whenheblowed，itwasindulg-Whenhetalked，itwasthelastencemoney-boxes。year\'ssnow。

Whenhewinked，itwasbutteredWhenhedreamt，itwasofabuns。cockandabull。

Whenhegrumbled，itwasMarchWhenhegavenothing，somuchcats。forthebearer。

Whenhenodded，itwasiron-Ifhethoughttohimself，itwasboundwaggons。whimsiesandmaggots。

Whenhemademouths，itwasIfhedozed，itwasleasesoflands。

brokenstaves。

Whatisyetmorestrange，heusedtoworkdoingnothing，anddidnothingthoughheworked；carousedsleeping，andsleptcarousing，withhiseyesopen，liketheharesinourcountry，forfearofbeingtakennappingbytheChitterlings，hisinveterateenemies；bitinghelaughed，andlaughingbit；

eatnothingfasting，andfastedeatingnothing；mumbleduponsuspicion，drankbyimagination，swamonthetopsofhighsteeples，driedhisclothesinpondsandrivers，fishedintheair，andthereusedtocatchdecumanelobsters；huntedatthebottomoftheherring-pond，andcaughtthereibexes，stamboucs，chamois，andotherwildgoats；usedtoputouttheeyesofallthecrowswhichhetooksneakingly；fearednothingbuthisownshadowandthecriesoffatkids；usedtogadabroadsomedays，likeatruantschoolboy；playedwiththeropesofbellsonfestivaldaysofsaints；madeamalletofhisfist，andwritonhairyparchmentprognosticationsandalmanackswithhishugepin-case。

Isthatthegentleman？saidFriarJohn。Heismyman；thisistheveryfellowIlookedfor。Iwillsendhimachallengeimmediately。Thisis，saidPantagruel，astrangeandmonstroussortofman，ifImaycallhimaman。YouputmeinmindoftheformandlooksofAmoduntandDissonance。

Howweretheymade？saidFriarJohn。MayIbepeeledlikearawonionifeverIheardawordofthem。I\'lltellyouwhatIreadoftheminsomeancientapologues，repliedPantagruel。

Physis——thatistosay，Nature——atherfirstburthenbegatBeautyandHarmonywithoutcarnalcopulation，beingofherselfveryfruitfulandprolific。Antiphysis，whoeverwasthecounterpartofNature，immediately，outofamaliciousspiteagainstherforherbeautifulandhonourableproductions，inoppositionbegotAmoduntandDissonancebycopulationwithTellumon。Theirheadswereroundlikeafootball，andnotgentlyflattedonbothsides，likethecommonshapeofmen。Theirearsstoodprickeduplikethoseofasses；theireyes，ashardasthoseofcrabs，andwithoutbrows，staredoutoftheirheads，fixedonboneslikethoseofourheels；theirfeetwereroundliketennis-balls；theirarmsandhandsturnedbackwardstowardstheirshoulders；andtheywalkedontheirheads，continuallyturningroundlikeaball，topsy-turvy，heelsoverhead。

Yet——asyouknowthatapesesteemtheiryoungthehandsomestintheworld——

Antiphysisextolledheroffspring，andstrovetoprovethattheirshapewashandsomerandneaterthanthatofthechildrenofPhysis，sayingthatthustohavesphericalheadsandfeet，andwalkinacircularmanner，wheelinground，hadsomethinginitoftheperfectionofthedivinepower，whichmakesallbeingseternallyturninthatfashion；andthattohaveourfeetuppermost，andtheheadbelowthem，wastoimitatetheCreatoroftheuniverse；thehairbeingliketheroots，andthelegslikethebranchesofman；fortreesarebetterplantedbytheirrootsthantheycouldbebytheirbranches。Bythisdemonstrationsheimpliedthatherchildrenweremuchmoretobepraisedforbeinglikeastandingtree，thanthoseofPhysis，thatmadeafigureofatreeupsidedown。Asforthearmsandhands，shepretendedtoprovethattheyweremorejustlyturnedtowardstheshoulders，becausethatpartofbodyoughtnottobewithoutdefence，whiletheforepartisdulyfencedwithteeth，whichamancannotonlyusetochew，butalsotodefendhimselfagainstthosethingsthatoffendhim。

Thus，bythetestimonyandastipulationofthebrutebeasts，shedrewallthewitlessherdandmoboffoolsintoheropinion，andwasadmiredbyallbrainlessandnonsensicalpeople。

Sincethat，shebegotthehypocriticaltribesofeavesdroppingdissemblers，superstitiouspope-mongers，andpriest-riddenbigots，thefranticPistolets，(thedemoniacalCalvins，impostorsofGeneva，)thescrapersofbenefices，apparitorswiththedevilinthem，andothergrindersandsqueezersoflivings，herb-stinkinghermits，gulliguttedduncesofthecowl，churchvermin，falsezealots，devourersofthesubstanceofmen，andmanymoreotherdeformedandill-favouredmonsters，madeinspiteofnature。

Chapter4。XXXIII。

HowPantagrueldiscoveredamonstrousphyseter，orwhirlpool，neartheWildIsland。

Aboutsunset，comingneartheWildIsland，Pantagruelspiedafaroffahugemonstrousphyseter(asortofwhale，whichsomecallawhirlpool)，thatcamerightuponus，neighing，snorting，raisedabovethewaveshigherthanourmain-tops，andspoutingwaterallthewayintotheairbeforeitself，likealargeriverfallingfromamountain。PantagruelshowedittothepilotandtoXenomanes。

Bythepilot\'sadvicethetrumpetsoftheThalamegeweresoundedtowarnallthefleettostandcloseandlooktothemselves。Thisalarmbeinggiven，alltheships，galleons，frigates，brigantines，accordingtotheirnavaldiscipline，placedthemselvesintheorderandfigureofan(Greek)

(upsilon)，theletterofPythagoras，ascranesdointheirflight，andlikeanacuteangle，inwhoseconeandbasistheThalamegeplacedherselfreadytofightsmartly。FriarJohnwiththegrenadiersgotontheforecastle。

PoorPanurgebegantocryandhowlworsethanever。Babille-babou，saidhe，shrugginguphisshoulders，quiveringalloverwithfear，therewillbethedevilupondun。Thisisaworsebusinessthanthatt\'otherday。Letusfly，letusfly；oldNicktakemeifitisnotLeviathan，describedbythenobleprophetMosesinthelifeofpatientJob。Itwillswallowusall，shipsandmen，shag，rag，andbobtail，likeadoseofpills。Alas！itwillmakenomoreofus，andweshallholdnomoreroominitshellishjaws，thanasugarpluminanass\'sthroat。Look，look，\'tisuponus；letuswheeloff，whipitaway，andgetashore。Ibelieve\'tistheveryindividualsea-monsterthatwasformerlydesignedtodevourAndromeda；weareallundone。Oh！forsomevaliantPerseusherenowtokillthedog。

I\'lldoitsbusinesspresently，saidPantagruel；fearnothing。Ods-belly，saidPanurge，removethecauseofmyfearthen。Whenthedevilwouldyouhaveamanbeafraidbutwhenthereissomuchcause？IfyourdestinybesuchasFriarJohnwassayingawhileago，repliedPantagruel，yououghttobeafraidofPyroeis，Eous，Aethon，andPhlegon，thesun\'scoach-horses，thatbreathefireatthenostrils；andnotofphyseters，thatspoutnothingbutwateratthesnoutandmouth。Theirwaterwillnotendangeryourlife；

andthatelementwillrathersaveandpreservethanhurtorendangeryou。

Ay，ay，trusttothat，andhangme，quothPanurge；yoursisaveryprettyfancy。Ods-fish！didInotgiveyouasufficientaccountoftheelements\'

transmutation，andtheblundersthataremadeofroastforboiled，andboiledforroast？Alas！here\'tis；I\'llgohidemyselfbelow。Wearedeadmen，everymother\'ssonofus。Iseeuponourmain-topthatmercilesshagAtropos，withherscissorsnewground，readytocutourthreadsallatonesnip。Oh！howdreadfulandabominablethouart；thouhastdrownedagoodmanybesideus，whonevermadetheirbragsofit。Diditbutspoutgood，brisk，dainty，deliciouswhitewine，insteadofthisdamnedbittersaltwater，onemightbetterbearwithit，andtherewouldbesomecausetobepatient；likethatEnglishlord，whobeingdoomedtodie，andhadleavetochoosewhatkindofdeathhewould，chosetobedrownedinabuttofmalmsey。Hereitis。Oh，oh！devil！Sathanas！Leviathan！Icannotabidetolookuponthee，thouartsoabominablyugly。Gotothebar，gotakethepettifoggers。

Chapter4。XXXIV。

HowthemonstrousphyseterwasslainbyPantagruel。

Thephyseter，comingbetweentheshipsandthegalleons，threwwaterbywholetunsuponthem，asifithadbeenthecataractsoftheNileinEthiopia。Ontheotherside，arrows，darts，gleaves，javelins，spears，harping-irons，andpartizans，flewuponitlikehail。FriarJohndidnotsparehimselfinit。Panurgewashalfdeadforfear。Theartilleryroaredandthunderedlikemad，andseemedtogallitingoodearnest，butdidbutlittlegood；forthegreatironandbrasscannon-shotenteringitsskinseemedtomeltliketilesinthesun。

Pantagruelthen，consideringtheweightandexigencyofthematter，stretchedouthisarmsandshowedwhathecoulddo。Youtellus，anditisrecorded，thatCommudus，theRomanemperor，couldshootwithabowsodexterouslythatatagooddistancehewouldletflyanarrowthroughachild\'sfingersandnevertouchthem。YoualsotellusofanIndianarcher，wholivedwhenAlexandertheGreatconqueredIndia，andwassoskilfulindrawingthebow，thatataconsiderabledistancehewouldshoothisarrowsthrougharing，thoughtheywerethreecubitslong，andtheirironsolargeandweightythatwiththemheusedtopiercesteelcutlasses，thickshields，steelbreastplates，andgenerallywhathedidhit，howfirm，resisting，hard，andstrongsoeveritwere。YoualsotelluswondersoftheindustryoftheancientFranks，whowerepreferredtoallothersinpointofarchery；andwhentheyhuntedeitherblackordunbeasts，usedtorubtheheadoftheirarrowswithhellebore，becausethefleshofthevenisonstruckwithsuchanarrowwasmoretender，dainty，wholesome，anddelicious——paringoff，nevertheless，thepartthatwastouchedroundabout。

YoualsotalkoftheParthians，whousedtoshootbackwardsmoredexterouslythanothernationsforwards；andalsocelebratetheskilloftheScythiansinthatart，whosentoncetoDarius，KingofPersia，anambassadorthatmadehimapresentofabird，afrog，amouse，andfivearrows，withoutspeakingoneword；andbeingaskedwhatthosepresentsmeant，andifhehadcommissiontosayanything，answeredthathehadnot；

whichpuzzledandgravelledDariusverymuch，tillGobrias，oneofthesevencaptainsthathadkilledthemagi，explainedit，sayingtoDarius:

BythesegiftsandofferingstheScythianssilentlytellyouthatexceptthePersianslikebirdsflyuptoheaven，orlikemicehidethemselvesnearthecentreoftheearth，orlikefrogsdivetotheverybottomofpondsandlakes，theyshallbedestroyedbythepowerandarrowsoftheScythians。

ThenoblePantagruelwas，withoutcomparison，moreadmirableyetintheartofshootinganddarting；forwithhisdreadfulpilesanddarts，nearlyresemblingthehugebeamsthatsupportthebridgesofNantes，Saumur，Bergerac，andatParisthemillers\'andthechangers\'bridges，inlength，size，weight，andiron-work，heatamile\'sdistancewouldopenanoysterandnevertouchtheedges；hewouldsnuffacandlewithoutputtingitout；

wouldshootamagpieintheeye；takeoffaboot\'sunder-sole，orariding-

hood\'slining，withoutsoilingthemabit；turnovereveryleafofFriarJohn\'sbreviary，oneafteranother，andnottearone。

Withsuchdarts，ofwhichtherewasgoodstoreintheship，atthefirstblowheranthephyseterinattheforeheadsofuriouslythathepiercedbothitsjawsandtongue；sothatfromthattimetothisitnomoreopeneditsgutturaltrapdoor，nordrewandspoutedwater。Atthesecondblowheputoutitsrighteye，andatthethirditsleft；andwehadallthepleasuretoseethephyseterbearingthosethreehornsinitsforehead，somewhatleaningforwardsinanequilateraltriangle。

Meanwhileitturnedabouttoandfro，staggeringandstrayinglikeonestunned，blinded，andtakinghisleaveoftheworld。Pantagruel，notsatisfiedwiththis，letflyanotherdart，whichtookthemonsterunderthetaillikewisesloping；thenwiththreeotheronthechine，inaperpendicularline，divideditsflankfromthetailtothesnoutatanequaldistance。Thenhelardeditwithfiftyononeside，andafterthat，tomakeevenwork，hedartedasmanyonitsotherside；sothatthebodyofthephyseterseemedlikethehulkofagalleonwiththreemasts，joinedbyacompetentdimensionofitsbeams，asiftheyhadbeentheribsandchain-

walesofthekeel；whichwasapleasantsight。Thephyseterthengivinguptheghost，turneditselfuponitsback，asalldeadfishesdo；andbeingthusoverturned，withthebeamsanddartsupsidedowninthesea，itseemedascolopendraorcentipede，asthatserpentisdescribedbytheancientsageNicander。