第11章

Chapter3。VI。

Whynewmarriedmenwereprivilegedfromgoingtothewars。

But，intheinterim，askedPanurge，bywhatlawwasitconstituted，ordained，andestablished，thatsuchasshouldplantanewvineyard，thosethatshouldbuildanewhouse，andthenewmarriedmen，shouldbeexemptedanddischargedfromthedutyofwarfareforthefirstyear？Bythelaw，answeredPantagruel，ofMoses。Why，repliedPanurge，thelatelymarried？

Asforthevine-planters，Iamnowtoooldtoreflectonthem；mycondition，atthispresent，inducethmetoremainsatisfiedwiththecareofvintage，finishingandturningthegrapesintowine。NoraretheseprettynewbuildersofdeadstoneswrittenorprickeddowninmyBookofLife。ItisallwithlivestonesthatIsetupanderectthefabricsofmyarchitecture，towit，men。Itwas，accordingtomyopinion，quothPantagruel，totheend，first，thatthefreshmarriedfolksshouldforthefirstyearreapafullandcompletefruitionoftheirpleasuresintheirmutualexerciseoftheactoflove，insuchsort，thatinwaitingmoreatleisureontheproductionofposterityandpropagatingoftheirprogeny，theymightthebetterincreasetheirraceandmakeprovisionofnewheirs。

Thatif，intheyearsthereafter，themenshould，upontheirundergoingofsomemilitaryadventure，happentobekilled，theirnamesandcoats-of-armsmightcontinuewiththeirchildreninthesamefamilies。Andnext，that，thewivestherebycomingtoknowwhethertheywerebarrenorfruitful——foroneyear\'strial，inregardofthematurityofagewhereinofoldtheymarried，washeldsufficientforthediscovery——theymightpitchthemoresuitably，incaseoftheirfirsthusband\'sdecease，uponasecondmatch。

Thefertilewomentobeweddedtothosewhodesiretomultiplytheirissue；

andthesterileonestosuchothermates，as，misregardingthestoringoftheirownlineage，choosethemonlyfortheirvirtues，learning，genteelbehaviour，domesticconsolation，managementofthehouse，andmatrimonialconveniencesandcomforts，andsuchlike。ThepreachersofVarennes，saithPanurge，detestandabhorthesecondmarriages，asaltogetherfoolishanddishonest。

Foolishanddishonest？quothPantagruel。Aplaguetakesuchpreachers！

Yeabut，quothPanurge，thelikemischiefalsobefalltheFriarCharmer，who，inafullauditorymakingasermonatPereilly，andthereinabominatingthereiterationofmarriageandtheenteringagaininthebondsofanuptialtie，didswearandheartilygivehimselftotheswiftestdevilinhell，ifhehadnotratherchoose，andwouldmuchmorewillinglyundertaketheunmaideningordepucelatingofahundredvirgins，thanthesimpledrudgeryofonewidow。TrulyIfindyourreasoninthatpointrightgoodandstronglygrounded。

Butwhatwouldyouthink，ifthecausewhythisexemptionorimmunitywasgrantedhadnootherfoundationbutthat，duringthewholespaceofthesaidfirstyear，theysolustilybobbeditwiththeirfemaleconsorts，asbothreasonandequityrequiretheyshoulddo，thattheyhaddrainedandevacuatedtheirspermaticvessels；andwerebecometherebyaltogetherfeeble，weak，emasculated，drooping，andflagginglypithless；yea，insuchsortthattheyinthedayofbattle，likeduckswhichplungeoverheadandears，wouldsoonerhidethemselvesbehindthebaggage，than，inthecompanyofvaliantfightersanddaringmilitarycombatants，appearwheresternBellonadealsherblowsandmovesabustlingnoiseofthwacksandthumps？

Norisittobethoughtthat，underthestandardofMars，theywillsomuchasoncestrikeafairstroke，becausetheirmostconsiderableknockshavebeenalreadyjerkedandwhirritedwithinthecurtainsofhissweetheartVenus。

Inconfirmationwhereof，amongstotherrelicsandmonumentsofantiquity，wenowasyetoftensee，thatinallgreathouses，aftertheexpiringofsomefewdays，theseyoungmarriedbladesarereadilysentawaytovisittheiruncles，thatintheabsenceoftheirwivesreposingthemselvesalittletheymayrecovertheirdecayedstrengthbytherecruitofafreshsupply，themorevigoroustoreturnagainandfaceabouttorenewtheduellingshockandconflictofanamorousdalliance，albeitforthegreaterparttheyhaveneitherunclenoraunttogoto。

JustsodidtheKingCrackart，afterthebattleoftheCornets，notcashierus(speakingproperly)，ImeanmeandtheQuail-caller，butforourrefreshmentremandedustoourhouses；andheisasyetseekingafterhisown。Mygrandfather\'sgodmotherwaswonttosaytomewhenIwasaboy，——

PatenostresetoraisonsSontpourceux-la，quilesretiennent。

UngfiffreenfenaisonsEstplusfortquedeuxquienviennent。

NotorisonsnorpatenotresShalleverdisordermybrain。

Onecadet，tothefieldasheflutters，Isworthtwo，whentheyendthecampaign。

Thatwhichpromptethmetothatopinionis，thatthevine-plantersdidseldomeatofthegrapes，ordrinkofthewineoftheirlabour，tillthefirstyearwaswhollyelapsed。Duringallwhichtimealsothebuildersdidhardlyinhabittheirnew-structureddwelling-places，forfearofdyingsuffocatedthroughwantofrespiration；asGalenhathmostlearnedlyremarked，inthesecondbookoftheDifficultyofBreathing。Underfavour，sir，Ihavenotaskedthisquestionwithoutcausecausingandreasontrulyveryratiocinant。Benotoffended，Iprayyou。

Chapter3。VII。

HowPanurgehadafleainhisear，andforboretowearanylongerhismagnificentcodpiece。

Panurge，thedaythereafter，causedpiercehisrightearaftertheJewishfashion，andtheretoclaspedalittlegoldring，ofaferny-likekindofworkmanship，inthebeazilorcolletwhereofwassetandenchasedaflea；

and，totheendyoumayberidofalldoubts，youaretoknowthatthefleawasblack。O，whatabravethingitis，ineverycaseandcircumstanceofamatter，tobethoroughlywellinformed！Thesumoftheexpensehereof，beingcastup，broughtin，andlaiddownuponhiscouncil-boardcarpet，wasfoundtoamounttonomorequarterlythanthechargeofthenuptialsofaHircaniantigress；even，asyouwouldsay，600，000maravedis。Atthesevastcostsandexcessivedisbursements，assoonasheperceivedhimselftobeoutofdebt，hefrettedmuch；andafterwards，astyrantsandlawyersusetodo，henourishedandfedherwiththesweatandbloodofhissubjectsandclients。

HethentookfourFrenchellsofacoarsebrownrussetcloth，andthereinapparellinghimself，aswithalong，plain-seamed，andsingle-stitchedgown，leftoffthewearingofhisbreeches，andtiedapairofspectaclestohiscap。InthisequipagedidhepresenthimselfbeforePantagruel；towhomthisdisguiseappearedthemorestrange，thathedidnot，asbefore，seethatgoodly，fair，andstatelycodpiece，whichwasthesoleanchorofhopewhereinhewaswontedtorely，andlastrefugehehadmidstallthewavesandboisterousbillowswhichastormycloudinacrossfortunewouldraiseupagainsthim。HonestPantagruel，notunderstandingthemystery，askedhim，bywayofinterrogatory，whathedidintendtopersonateinthatnew-fangledprosopopoeia。Ihave，answeredPanurge，afleainmineear，andhaveamindtomarry。Inagoodtime，quothPantagruel，youhavetoldmejoyfultidings。YetwouldnotIholdared-hotironinmyhandforallthegladnessofthem。Butitisnotthefashionofloverstobeaccoutredinsuchdanglingvestments，soastohavetheirshirtsflaggingdownovertheirknees，withoutbreeches，andwithalongrobeofadarkbrownmingledhue，whichisacolourneverusedinTalariangarmentsamongstanypersonsofhonour，quality，orvirtue。Ifsomehereticalpersonsandschismaticalsectarieshaveatanytimeformerlybeensoarrayedandclothed(thoughmanyhaveimputedsuchakindofdresstocosenage，cheat，imposture，andanaffectationoftyrannyuponcredulousmindsoftherudemultitude)，I

willneverthelessnotblamethemforit，norinthatpointjudgerashlyorsinistrouslyofthem。Everyoneoverflowinglyaboundethinhisownsenseandfancy；yea，inthingsofaforeignconsideration，altogetherextrinsicalandindifferent，whichinandofthemselvesareneithercommendablenorbad，becausetheyproceednotfromtheinteriorofthethoughtsandheart，whichistheshopofallgoodandevil；ofgoodness，ifitbeupright，andthatitsaffectionsberegulatedbythepureandcleanspiritofrighteousness；and，ontheotherside，ofwickedness，ifitsinclinations，strayingbeyondtheboundsofequity，becorruptedanddepravedbythemaliceandsuggestionsofthedevil。Itisonlythenoveltyandnew-fanglednessthereofwhichIdislike，togetherwiththecontemptofcommoncustomandthefashionwhichisinuse。

Thecolour，answeredPantagruel，isconvenient，foritisconformtothatofmycouncil-boardcarpet；thereforewillIhenceforthholdmewithit，andmorenarrowlyandcircumspectlythaneverhithertoIhavedonelooktomyaffairsandbusiness。SeeingIamonceoutofdebt，youneveryetsawmanmoreunpleasingthanIwillbe，ifGodhelpmenot。Lo，herebemyspectacles。Toseemeafaroff，youwouldreadilysaythatitwereFriar(John)Burgess。IbelievecertainlythatinthenextensuingyearIshalloncemorepreachtheCrusade。Bounce，buckram。Doyouseethisrusset？

Doubtnotbuttherelurkethunderitsomehidpropertyandoccultvirtueknowntoveryfewintheworld。Ididnottakeitonbeforethismorning，and，nevertheless，amalreadyinarageoflust，madafterawife，andvehementlyhotuponuntyingthecodpiece-point；Iitch，Itingle，I

wriggle，andlongexceedinglytobemarried，that，withoutthedangerofcudgel-blows，Imaylabourmyfemalecopes-matewiththehardpushofabull-horneddevil。OtheprovidentandthriftyhusbandthatIthenwillbe！Aftermydeath，withallhonourandrespectduetomyfrugality，willtheyburnthesacredbulkofmybody，ofpurposetopreservetheashesthereof，inmemoryofthechoicestpatternthateverwasofaperfectlywaryandcompletehouseholder。Copsbody，thisisnotthecarpetwhereonmytreasurershallbeallowedtoplayfalseinhisaccountswithme，bysettingdownanXforaV，oranLforanS。ForinthatcaseshouldI

makeahailoffisticuffstoflyintohisface。Lookuponme，sir，bothbeforeandbehind，——itismadeafterthemannerofatoga，whichwastheancientfashionoftheRomansintimeofpeace。Itookthemode，shape，andformthereofinTrajan\'sColumnatRome，asalsointheTriumphantArchofSeptimusSeverus。Iamtiredofthewars，wearyofwearingbuff-coats，cassocks，andhoquetons。Myshouldersarepitifullywornandbruisedwiththecarryingofharness。Letarmourcease，andthelongrobebearsway！

Atleastitmustbesoforthewholespaceofthesucceedingyear，ifIbemarried；asyesterday，bytheMosaiclaw，youevidenced。Inwhatconcerneththebreeches，mygreat-auntLaurencedidlongagotellme，thatthebreecheswereonlyordainedfortheuseofthecodpiece，andtonootherend；whichI，uponanolessforcibleconsequence，givecredittoeverywhit，aswellastothesayingofthefinefellowGalen，whoinhisninthbook，OftheUseandEmploymentofourMembers，allegeththattheheadwasmadefortheeyes。Fornaturemighthaveplacedourheadsinourkneesorelbows，buthavingbeforehanddeterminedthattheeyesshouldservetodiscoverthingsfromafar，sheforthebetterenablingthemtoexecutetheirdesignedoffice，fixedtheminthehead，asonthetopofalongpole，inthemosteminentpartofallthebody——nootherwisethanweseethephares，orhightowerserectedinthemouthsofhavens，thatnavigatorsmaythefurtheroffperceivewitheasethelightsofthenightlyfiresandlanterns。AndbecauseIwouldgladly，forsomeshortwhile，ayearatleast，takealittlerestandbreathingtimefromthetoilsomelabourofthemilitaryprofession，thatistosay，bemarried，Ihavedesistedfromwearinganymoreacodpiece，andconsequentlyhavelaidasidemybreeches。Forthecodpieceistheprincipalandmostespecialpieceofarmourthatawarriordothcarry；andthereforedoImaintaineventothefire(exclusively，understandyoume)，thatnoTurkscanproperlybesaidtobearmedmen，inregardthatcodpiecesarebytheirlawforbiddentobeworn。

Chapter3。VIII。

Whythecodpieceisheldtobethechiefpieceofarmouramongstwarriors。

Willyoumaintain，quothPantagruel，thatthecodpieceisthechiefpieceofamilitaryharness？Itisanewkindofdoctrine，veryparadoxical；forwesay，Atspursbeginsthearmingofaman。Sir，Imaintainit，answeredPanurge，andnotwrongfullydoImaintainit。Beholdhownature，havingaferventdesire，afteritsproductionofplants，trees，shrubs，herbs，sponges，andplant-animals，toeternizeandcontinuethemuntoallsuccessionofages(intheirseveralkindsorsorts，atleast，althoughtheindividualsperish)unruinable，andinaneverlastingbeing，hathmostcuriouslyarmedandfencedtheirbuds，sprouts，shoots，andseeds，whereintheabove-mentionedperpetuityconsisteth，bystrengthening，covering，guarding，andfortifyingthemwithanadmirableindustry，withhusks，cases，scurfsandswads，hulls，cods，stones，films，cartels，shells，ears，rinds，barks，skins，ridges，andprickles，whichservetheminsteadofstrong，fair，andnaturalcodpieces。Asismanifestlyapparentinpease，beans，fasels，pomegranates，peaches，cottons，gourds，pumpions，melons，corn，lemons，almonds，walnuts，filberts，andchestnuts；aslikewiseinallplants，slips，orsetswhatsoever，whereinitisplainlyandevidentlyseen，thatthespermandsemenceismorecloselyveiled，overshadowed，corroborated，andthoroughlyharnessed，thananyotherpart，portion，orparcelofthewhole。

Nature，nevertheless，didnotafterthatmannerprovideforthesempiternizingof(the)humanrace；but，onthecontrary，createdmannaked，tender，andfrail，withouteitheroffensiveordefensivearms；andthatintheestateofinnocence，inthefirstageofall，whichwasthegoldenseason；notasaplant，butlivingcreature，bornforpeace，notwar，andbroughtforthintotheworldwithanunquestionablerightandtitletotheplenaryfruitionandenjoymentofallfruitsandvegetables，asalsotoacertaincalmandgentleruleanddominionoverallkindsofbeasts，fowls，fishes，reptiles，andinsects。Yetafterwardsithappeninginthetimeoftheironage，underthereignofJupiter，when，tothemultiplicationofmischievousactions，wickednessandmalicebegantotakerootandfootingwithinthethenpervertedheartsofmen，thattheearthbegantobringforthnettles，thistles，thorns，briars，andsuchotherstubbornandrebelliousvegetablestothenatureofman。Norscarcewasthereanyanimalwhichbyafataldispositiondidnotthenrevoltfromhim，andtacitlyconspireandcovenantwithoneanothertoservehimnolonger，nor，incaseoftheirabilitytoresist，todohimanymannerofobedience，butrather，totheuttermostoftheirpower，toannoyhimwithallthehurtandharmtheycould。Theman，then，thathemightmaintainhisprimitiverightandprerogative，andcontinuehisswayanddominionoverall，bothvegetableandsensitivecreatures，andknowingofatruththathecouldnotbewellaccommodatedasheoughtwithouttheservitudeandsubjectionofseveralanimals，bethoughthimselfthatofnecessityhemustneedsputonarms，andmakeprovisionofharnessagainstwarsandviolence。BytheholySaintBabingoose，criedoutPantagruel，youarebecome，sincethelastrain，agreatlifrelofre，——philosopher，Ishouldsay。Takenotice，sir，quothPanurge，whenDameNaturehadpromptedhimtohisownarming，whatpartofthebodyitwas，where，byherinspiration，heclappedonthefirstharness。ItwasforsoothbythedoublepluckofmylittledogtheballockandgoodSenorDonPriaposStabo-stando——whichdone，hewascontent，andsoughtnomore。ThisiscertifiedbythetestimonyofthegreatHebrewcaptain(and)philosopherMoses，whoaffirmeththathefencedthatmemberwithabraveandgallantcodpiece，mostexquisitelyframed，andbyrightcuriousdevicesofanotablypregnantinventionmadeupandcomposedoffig-treeleaves，whichbyreasonoftheirsolidstiffness，incisorynotches，curledfrizzling，sleekedsmoothness，largeampleness，togetherwiththeircolour，smell，virtue，andfaculty，wereexceedingproperandfitforthecoveringandarmingofthesatchelsofgeneration——thehideouslybigLorrainecullionsbeingfromthenceonlyexcepted，which，swaggeringdowntothelowermostbottomofthebreeches，cannotabide，forbeingquiteoutofallorderandmethod，thestatelyfashionofthehighandloftycodpiece；asismanifestbythenobleValentineViardiere，whomI

foundatNancy，onthefirstdayofMay——themoreflauntinglytogallantrizeitafterwards——rubbinghisballocks，spreadoutuponatableafterthemannerofaSpanishcloak。Whereforeitis，thatnoneshouldhenceforthsay，whowouldnotspeakimproperly，whenanycountrybumpkinhiethtothewars，Haveacare，myroister，ofthewine-pot，thatis，theskull，but，Haveacare，myroister，ofthemilk-pot，thatis，thetesticles。Bythewholerabbleofthehornedfiendsofhell，theheadbeingcutoff，thatsinglepersononlytherebydieth。But，iftheballocksbemarred，thewholeraceofhumankindwouldforthwithperish，andbelostforever。

ThiswasthemotivewhichincitedthegoodlywriterGalen，Lib。I。DeSpermate，toaverwithboldnessthatitwerebetter，thatistosay，alessevil，tohavenoheartatallthantobequitedestituteofgenitories；forthereislaidup，conserved，andputinstore，asinasecessiverepositoryandsacredwarehouse，thesemenceandoriginalsourceofthewholeoffspringofmankind。ThereforewouldIbeapttobelieve，forlessthanahundredfrancs，thatthosearetheverysamestonesbymeanswhereofDeucalionandPyrrharestoredthehumanrace，inpeoplingwithmenandwomentheworld，whichalittlebeforethathadbeendrownedintheoverflowingwavesofapoeticaldeluge。ThisstirredupthevaliantJustinian，L。4。DeCagotistollendis，tocollocatehisSummumBonum，inBraguibus，etBraguetis。Forthisandothercauses，theLordHumphreydeMerville，followingofhiskingtoacertainwarlikeexpedition，whilsthewasintryinguponhisownpersonanewsuitofarmour，forofhisoldrustyharnesshecouldmakenomoreuse，byreasonthatsomefewyearssincetheskinofhisbellywasagreatwayremovedfromhiskidneys，hisladythereupon，intheprofoundmusingofacontemplativespirit，verymaturelyconsideringthathehadbutsmallcareofthestaffofloveandpacketofmarriage，seeinghedidnootherwisearmthatpartofthebodythanwithlinksofmail，advisedhimtoshield，fence，andgabionateitwithabigtiltinghelmetwhichshehadlyinginhercloset，toherotherwiseutterlyunprofitable。Onthisladywerepennedthesesubsequentverses，whichareextantinthethirdbookoftheShitbranaofPaltryWenches。

WhenYolandsawherspouseequipp\'dforfight，And，savethecodpiece，allinarmourdight，Mydear，shecried，why，pray，ofalltherestIsthatexposed，youknowIlovethebest？

Wasshetoblameforanill-managedfear，——

Orratherpious，conscionablecare？

Wiselady，she！Inhurlyburlyfight，Cananytellwhererandomblowsmaylight？

Leaveoffthen，sir，frombeingastonished，andwondernomoreatthisnewmannerofdeckingandtrimmingupofmyselfasyounowseeme。

Chapter3。IX。

HowPanurgeaskethcounselofPantagruelwhetherheshouldmarry，yea，orno。

TothisPantagruelreplyingnothing，Panurgeprosecutedthediscoursehehadalreadybroached，andtherewithalfetching，asfromthebottomofhisheart，averydeepsigh，said，Mylordandmaster，youhaveheardthedesignIamupon，whichistomarry，ifbysomedisastrousmischancealltheholesintheworldbenotshutup，stopped，closed，andbushed。I

humblybeseechyou，fortheaffectionwhichofalongtimeyouhaveborneme，togivemeyourbestadvicetherein。Then，answeredPantagruel，seeingyouhavesodecreed，takendeliberationthereon，andthatthematterisfullydetermined，whatneedisthereofanyfurthertalkthereof，butforthwithtoputitintoexecutionwhatyouhaveresolved？Yeabut，quothPanurge，Iwouldbelothtoactanythingthereinwithoutyourcounselhadthereto。Itismyjudgmentalso，quothPantagruel，andIadviseyoutoit。

Nevertheless，quothPanurge，ifIunderstoodarightthatitweremuchbetterformetoremainabachelorasIam，thantorunheadlonguponnewhairbrainedundertakingsofconjugaladventure，Iwouldratherchoosenottomarry。QuothPantagruel，Thendonotmarry。Yeabut，quothPanurge，wouldyouhavemesosolitarilydriveoutthewholecourseofmylife，withoutthecomfortofamatrimonialconsort？Youknowitiswritten，Vaesoli！andasinglepersonisneverseentoreapthejoyandsolacethatisfoundwithmarriedfolks。Thenmarry，inthenameofGod，quothPantagruel。Butif，quothPanurge，mywifeshouldmakemeacuckold——asitisnotunknownuntoyou，howthishathbeenaveryplentifulyearintheproductionofthatkindofcattle——Iwouldflyout，andgrowimpatientbeyondallmeasureandmean。Ilovecuckoldswithmyheart，fortheyseemuntometobeofarighthonestconversation，andItrulydoverywillinglyfrequenttheircompany；butshouldIdieforit，Iwouldnotbeoneoftheirnumber。Thatisapointformeofatoosorepricklingpoint。Thendonotmarry，quothPantagruel，forwithoutallcontroversythissentenceofSenecaisinfalliblytrue，Whatthoutoothersshalthavedone，otherswilldotheliketothee。Doyou，quothPanurge，averthatwithoutallexception？Yes，truly，quothPantagruel，withoutallexception。Ho，ho，saysPanurge，bythewrathofalittledevil，hismeaningis，eitherinthisworldorintheotherwhichistocome。YetseeingIcannomorewantawifethanablindmanhisstaff——(for)thefunnelmustbeinagitation，withoutwhichmannerofoccupationIcannotlive——wereitnotagreatdealbetterformetoapplyandassociatemyselftosomeonehonest，lovely，andvirtuouswoman，thanasIdo，byanewchangeoffemaleseveryday，runahazardofbeingbastinadoed，or，whichisworse，ofthegreatpox，ifnotofbothtogether。Fornever——beitspokenbytheirhusbands\'leaveandfavour——hadIenjoymentyetofanhonestwoman。Marrythen，inGod\'sname，quothPantagruel。Butif，quothPanurge，itwerethewillofGod，andthatmydestinydidunluckilyleadmetomarryanhonestwomanwhoshouldbeatme，IwouldbestoredwithmorethantwothirdpartsofthepatienceofJob，ifIwerenotstarkmadbyit，andquitedistractedwithsuchruggeddealings。Forithathbeentoldmethatthoseexceedinghonestwomenhaveordinarilyverywickedhead-pieces；thereforeisitthattheirfamilylackethnotforgoodvinegar。Yetinthatcaseshoulditgoworsewithme，ifIdidnottheninsuchsortbangherbackandbreast，sothumpinglybethwackhergillets，towit，herarms，legs，head，lights，liver，andmilt，withherotherentrails，andmangle，jag，andslashhercoatssoafterthecross-billetfashionthatthegreatestdevilofhellshouldwaitatthegateforthereceptionofherdamnelsoul。Icouldmakeashiftforthisyeartowaivesuchmolestationanddisquiet，andbecontenttolayasidethattrouble，andnottobeengagedinit。

Donotmarrythen，answeredPantagruel。Yeabut，quothPanurge，consideringtheconditionwhereinInowam，outofdebtandunmarried；markwhatIsay，freefromalldebt，inanillhour，for，wereIdeeplyonthescore，mycreditorswouldbebuttoocarefulofmypaternity，butbeingquit，andnotmarried，nobodywillbesoregardfulofme，orcarrytowardsmealovelikethatwhichissaidtobeinaconjugalaffection。AndifbysomemishapIshouldfallsick，Iwouldbelookedtoverywaywardly。Thewisemansaith，Wherethereisnowoman——Imeanthemotherofafamilyandwifeintheunionofalawfulwedlock——thecrazyanddiseasedareindangerofbeingillusedandofhavingmuchbrabblingandstrifeaboutthem；asbyclearexperiencehathbeenmadeapparentinthepersonsofpopes，legates，cardinals，bishops，abbots，priors，priests，andmonks；butthere，assureyourself，youshallnotfindme。Marrythen，inthenameofGod，answeredPantagruel。Butif，quothPanurge，beingillatease，andpossiblythroughthatdistempermadeunabletodischargethematrimonialdutythatisincumbenttoanactivehusband，mywife，impatientofthatdroopingsicknessandfaint-fitsofapininglanguishment，shouldabandonandprostituteherselftotheembracesofanotherman，andnotonlythennothelpandassistmeinmyextremityandneed，butwithalfloutatandmakesportofthatmygrievousdistressandcalamity；orperadventure，whichisworse，embezzlemygoodsandstealfromme，asIhaveseenitoftentimesbefalluntothelotofmanyothermen，itwereenoughtoundomeutterly，tofillbrimfulthecupofmymisfortune，andmakemeplaythemad-patereeksofBedlam。Donotmarrythen，quothPantagruel。Yeabut，saidPanurge，Ishallneverbyanyothermeanscometohavelawfulsonsanddaughters，inwhomImayharboursomehopeofperpetuatingmynameandarms，andtowhomalsoImayleaveandbequeathmyinheritancesandpurchasedgoods(ofwhichlattersortyouneednotdoubtbutthatinsomeoneorotherofthesemorningsIwillmakeafairandgoodlyshow)，thatsoImaycheerupandmakemerrywhenotherwiseIshouldbeplungedintoapeevishsullenmoodofpensivesullenness，asIdoperceivedailybythegentleandlovingcarriageofyourkindandgraciousfathertowardsyou；asallhonestfolksusetodoattheirownhomesandprivatedwelling-houses。

Forbeingfreefromdebt，andyetnotmarried，ifcasuallyIshouldfretandbeangry，althoughthecauseofmygriefanddispleasurewereneversojust，Iamafraid，insteadofconsolation，thatIshouldmeetwithnothingelsebutscoffs，frumps，gibes，andmocksatmydisastrousfortune。Marrythen，inthenameofGod，quothPantagruel。

Chapter3。X。

HowPantagruelrepresentethuntoPanurgethedifficultyofgivingadviceinthematterofmarriage；andtothatpurposementionethsomewhatoftheHomericandVirgilianlotteries。

Yourcounsel，quothPanurge，underyourcorrectionandfavour，seemethuntomenotunliketothesongofGammerYea-by-nay。Itisfullofsarcasms，mockeries，bittertaunts，nippingbobs，derisivequips，bitingjerks，andcontradictoryiterations，theonepartdestroyingtheother。Iknownot，quothPantagruel，whichofallmyanswerstolayholdon；foryourproposalsaresofullofifsandbuts，thatIcangroundnothingonthem，norpitchuponanysolidandpositivedeterminationsatisfactorytowhatisdemandedbythem。Arenotyouassuredwithinyourselfofwhatyouhaveamindto？Thechiefandmainpointofthewholematterlieththere。Alltherestismerelycasual，andtotallydependethuponthefataldispositionoftheheavens。

Weseesomesohappyinthefortuneofthisnuptialencounter，thattheirfamilyshinethasitwerewiththeradianteffulgencyofanidea，model，orrepresentationofthejoysofparadise；andperceiveothers，again，tobesounluckilymatchedintheconjugalyoke，thatthoseverybasestofdevilswhichtemptthehermitsthatinhabitthedesertsofThebaisandMontserratarenotmoremiserablethanthey。Itisthereforeexpedient，seeingyouareresolvedforoncetotakeatrialofthestateofmarriage，that，withshuteyes，bowingyourhead，andkissingtheground，youputthebusinesstoaventure，andgiveitafairhazard，inrecommendingthesuccessoftheresiduetothedisposureofAlmightyGod。Itliethnotinmypowertogiveyouanyothermannerofassurance，orotherwisetocertifyyouofwhatshallensueonthisyourundertaking。Nevertheless，ifitpleaseyou，thisyoumaydo。BringhitherVirgil\'spoems，thatafterhavingopenedthebook，andwithourfingersseveredtheleavesthereofthreeseveraltimes，wemay，accordingtothenumberagreeduponbetwixtourselves，explorethefuturehapofyourintendedmarriage。ForfrequentlybyaHomericlotteryhavemanyhitupontheirdestinies；asistestifiedinthepersonofSocrates，who，whilsthewasinprison，hearingtherecitationofthisverseofHomer，saidofAchillesintheNinthoftheIliads——

(Greek)，We，thethirdday，tofertilePthiacame——

therebyforesawthatonthethirdsubsequentdayhewastodie。OfthetruthwhereofheassuredAeschines；asPlato，inCritone，Cicero，inPrimo，deDivinatione，DiogenesLaertius，andothers，havetothefullrecordedintheirworks。ThelikeisalsowitnessedbyOpiliusMacrinus，towhom，beingdesiroustoknowifheshouldbetheRomanemperor，befell，bychanceoflot，thissentenceintheEighthoftheIliads——

(Greek)

Dotard，newwarriorsurgetheetobegone。

Thylifedecays，andoldageweighstheedown。

Infact，he，beingthensomewhatancient，hadhardlyenjoyedthesovereigntyoftheempireforthespaceoffourteenmonths，whenbyHeliogabalus，thenbothyoungandstrong，hewasdispossessedthereof，thrustoutofall，andkilled。Brutusdothalsobearwitnessofanotherexperimentofthisnature，whowilling，throughthisexploratorywaybylot，tolearnwhattheeventandissueshouldbeofthePharsalianbattlewhereinheperished，hecasuallyencounteredonthisverse，saidofPatroclusintheSixteenthoftheIliads——

(Greek)

Fate，andLatona\'ssonhaveshotmedead。

AndaccordinglyApollowasthefield-wordinthedreadfuldayofthatfight。DiversnotablethingsofoldhavelikewisebeenforetoldandknownbycastingofVirgilianlots；yea，inmattersofnolessimportancethantheobtainingoftheRomanempire，asithappenedtoAlexanderSeverus，who，tryinghisfortuneatthesaidkindoflottery，didhituponthisversewrittenintheSixthoftheAeneids——

Turegereimperiopopulos，Romane，memento。

Know，Roman，thatthybusinessistoreign。

He，withinveryfewyearsthereafter，waseffectuallyandingoodearnestcreatedandinstalledRomanemperor。AsemblablestorytheretoisrelatedofAdrian，who，beinghugelyperplexedwithinhimselfoutofalonginghumourtoknowinwhataccounthewaswiththeEmperorTrajan，andhowlargethemeasureofthataffectionwaswhichhedidbearuntohim，hadrecourse，afterthemannerabovespecified，totheMaronianlottery，whichbyhaphazardtenderedhimtheselinesoutoftheSixthoftheAeneids——

Quisproculilleautem，ramisinsignisolivaeSacraferens？NoscocrinesincanaquementaRegisRomani。

Butwhoishe，conspicuousfromafar，Witholiveboughs，thatdothhisofferingsbear？

BythewhitehairandbeardIknowhimplain，TheRomanking。

ShortlythereafterwasheadoptedbyTrajan，andsucceededtohimintheempire。Moreover，tothelotofthepraiseworthyEmperorClaudiusbefellthislineofVirgil，writtenintheSixthofhisAeneids——

TertiadumLatioregnantemvideritaestas。

Whilstthethirdsummersawhimreign，akingInLatium。

Andineffecthedidnotreignabovetwoyears。TothesaidClaudianalso，inquiringconcerninghisbrotherQuintilius，whomheproposedasacolleaguewithhimselfintheempire，happenedtheresponsefollowingintheSixthoftheAeneids——

Ostendentterrishunctantumfata。

WhomFateletussee，Andwouldnolongersufferhimtobe。

Anditsofellout；forhewaskilledontheseventeenthdayafterhehadattaineduntothemanagementoftheimperialcharge。Theverysamelot，also，withthelikemisluck，didbetidetheEmperorGordiantheyounger。

ToClaudiusAlbinus，beingverysolicitoustounderstandsomewhatofhisfutureadventures，didoccurthissaying，whichiswrittenintheSixthoftheAeneids——

HicremRomanammagnoturbantetumultuSistetEques，&c。

TheRomans，boilingwithtumultuousrage，Thiswarriorshallthedangerousstormassuage:

WithvictorieshetheCarthaginianmauls，AndwithstronghandshallcrushtherebelGauls。

Likewise，whentheEmperorD。Claudius，Aurelian\'spredecessor，didwithgreateagernessresearchafterthefatetocomeofhisposterity，hishapwastoalightonthisverseintheFirstoftheAeneids——

Hicegonecmetasrerum，nectemporapono。

Noboundsaretobeset，nolimitshere。

Whichwasfulfilledbythegoodlygenealogicalrowofhisrace。WhenMr。

PeterAmydidinlikemannerexploreandmaketrialifheshouldescapetheambushofthehobgoblinswholayinwaitall-to-bemaulhim，hefelluponthisverseintheThirdoftheAeneids——

Heu！fugecrudelesterras，fugelittusavarum！

Oh，fleethebloodyland，thewickedshore！

Whichcounselheobeying，safeandsoundforthwithavoidedalltheseambuscades。

Wereitnottoshunprolixity，Icouldenumerateathousandsuchlikeadventures，which，conformtothedictateandverdictoftheverse，havebythatmanneroflot-castingencounterbefallentothecuriousresearchersofthem。Donotyouneverthelessimagine，lestyoushouldbedeluded，thatI

woulduponthiskindoffortune-flingingproofinferanuncontrollableandnottobegainsaidinfallibilityoftruth。

Chapter3。XI。

HowPantagruelshoweththetrialofone\'sfortunebythethrowingofdicetobeunlawful。

Itwouldbesoonerdone，quothPanurge，andmoreexpeditely，ifweshouldtrythematteratthechanceofthreefairdice。QuothPantagruel，Thatsortoflotteryisdeceitful，abusive，illicitous，andexceedinglyscandalous。Nevertrustinit。TheaccursedbookoftheRecreationofDicewasagreatwhileagoexcogitatedinAchaia，nearBourre，bythatancientenemyofmankind，theinfernalcalumniator，who，beforethestatueormassiveimageoftheBourraicHercules，didofold，anddothinseveralplacesoftheworldasyet，makemanysimplesoulstoerrandfallintohissnares。YouknowhowmyfatherGargantuahathforbiddenitoverallhiskingdomsanddominions；howhehathcausedburnthemouldsanddraughtsthereof，andaltogethersuppressed，abolished，drivenforth，andcastitoutoftheland，asamostdangerousplagueandinfectiontoanywell-

polishedstateorcommonwealth。WhatIhavetoldyouofdice，Isaythesameoftheplayatcockall。Itisalotteryofthelikeguileanddeceitfulness；andthereforedonotforconvincingofmeallegeinoppositiontothismyopinion，orbringintheexampleofthefortunatecastofTiberius，withinthefountainofAponus，attheoracleofGerion。

Thesearethebaitedhooksbywhichthedevilattractsanddrawethuntohimthefoolishsoulsofsillypeopleintoeternalperdition。

Nevertheless，tosatisfyyourhumourinsomemeasure，Iamcontentyouthrowthreediceuponthistable，that，accordingtothenumberoftheblotswhichshallhappentobecastup，wemayhituponaverseofthatpagewhichinthesettingopenofthebookyoushallhavepitchedupon。

Haveyouanydiceinyourpocket？Awholebagful，answeredPanurge。Thatisprovisionagainstthedevil，asisexpoundedbyMerlinCoccaius，Lib。

2。DePatriaDiabolorum。Thedevilwouldbesuretotakemenapping，andverymuchatunawares，ifheshouldfindmewithoutdice。Withthis，thethreedicebeingtakenout，produced，andthrown，theyfellsopatuponthelowerpointsthatthecastwasfive，six，andfive。Theseare，quothPanurge，sixteeninall。Letustakethesixteenthlineofthepage。Thenumberpleasethmeverywell；Ihopeweshallhaveaprosperousandhappychance。MayIbethrownamidstallthedevilsofhell，evenasagreatbowlcastathwartatasetofninepins，orcannon-ballshotamongabattalionoffoot，incasesomanytimesIdonotboultmyfuturewifethefirstnightofourmarriage！Ofthat，forsooth，Imakenodoubtatall，quothPantagruel。Youneedednottohaverappedforthsuchahorridimprecation，thesoonertoprocurecreditfortheperformanceofsosmallabusiness，seeingpossiblythefirstboutwillbeamiss，andthatyouknowisusuallyattenniscalledfifteen。Atthenextjustlingturnyoumayreadilyamendthatfault，andsocompleteyourreckoningofsixteen。Isitso，quothPanurge，thatyouunderstandthematter？Andmustmywordsbethusinterpreted？Nay，believemeneveryetwasanysolecismcommittedbythatvaliantchampionwhooftenhathformeinBelly-dalestoodsentryatthehypogastriancranny。Didyoueverhithertofindmeintheconfraternityofthefaulty？Never，Itrow；never，norevershall，foreverandaday。Idothefeatlikeagoodlyfriarorfatherconfessor，withoutdefault。AndthereinamIwillingtobejudgedbytheplayers。HehadnosoonerspokethesewordsthantheworksofVirgilwerebroughtin。

Butbeforethebookwaslaidopen，PanurgesaidtoPantagruel，Myheart，likethefurchofahartinarut，dothbeatwithinmybreast。Bepleasedtofeelandgropemypulsealittleonthisarteryofmyleftarm。Atitsfrequentriseandfallyouwouldsaythattheyswingeandbelabourmeafterthemannerofaprobationer，posedandputtoaperemptorytrialintheexaminationofhissufficiencyforthedischargeofthelearneddutyofagraduateinsomeeminentdegreeinthecollegeoftheSorbonists。

Butwouldyounotholditexpedient，beforeweproceedanyfurther，thatweshouldinvocateHerculesandtheTenetiangoddesseswhointhechamberoflotsaresaidtorule，sitinjudgment，andbearapresidentialsway？

Neitherhimnorthem，answeredPantagruel；onlyopenuptheleavesofthebookwithyourfingers，andsetyournailsawork。

Chapter3。XII。

HowPantagrueldothexplorebytheVirgilianlotterywhatfortunePanurgeshallhaveinhismarriage。

ThenattheopeningofthebookinthesixteenthrowofthelinesofthedisclosedpagedidPanurgeencounteruponthisfollowingverse:

NecDeushuncmensa，Deanecdignatacubiliest。

Thegodhimfromhistablebanished，Norwouldthegoddesshavehiminherbed。

Thisresponse，quothPantagruel，makethnotverymuchforyourbenefitoradvantage；foritplainlysignifiesanddenoteththatyourwifeshallbeastrumpet，andyourselfbyconsequenceacuckold。Thegoddess，whomyoushallnotfindpropitiousnorfavourableuntoyou，isMinerva，amostredoubtableanddreadfulvirgin，apowerfulandfulminatinggoddess，anenemytocuckoldsandeffeminateyoungsters，tocuckold-makersandadulterers。ThegodisJupiter，aterribleandthunder-strikinggodfromheaven。Andwithalitistoberemarked，that，conformtothedoctrineoftheancientEtrurians，themanubes，forsodidtheycallthedartinghurlsorslingingcastsoftheVulcanianthunderbolts，didonlyappertaintoherandtoJupiterherfathercapital。ThiswasverifiedintheconflagrationoftheshipsofAjaxOileus，nordoththisfulminatingpowerbelongtoanyotheroftheOlympicgods。Men，therefore，standnotinsuchfearofthem。

Moreover，Iwilltellyou，andyoumaytakeitasextractedoutoftheprofoundestmysteriesofmythology，that，whenthegiantshadenterprisedthewagingofawaragainstthepowerofthecelestialorbs，thegodsatfirstdidlaughatthoseattempts，andscornedsuchdespicableenemies，whowere，intheirconceit，notstrongenoughtocopeinfeatsofwarfarewiththeirpages；butwhentheysawbythegigantinelabourthehighhillPelionsetonloftyOssa，andthatthemountOlympuswasmadeshaketobeerectedonthetopofboth，thenwasitthatJupiterheldaparliament，orgeneralconvention，whereinitwasunanimouslyresolveduponandcondescendedtobyallthegods，thattheyshouldworthilyandvaliantlystandtotheirdefence。Andbecausetheyhadoftenseenbattleslostbythecumbersomeletsanddisturbingencumbrancesofwomenconfusedlyhuddledinamongstarmies，itwasatthattimedecreedandenactedthattheyshouldexpelanddriveoutofheavenintoEgyptandtheconfinesofNilethatwholecrewofgoddesses，disguisedintheshapesofweasels，polecats，bats，shrew-mice，ferrets，fulmarts，andothersuchlikeoddtransformations；onlyMinervawasreservedtoparticipatewithJupiterinthehorrificfulminatingpower，asbeingthegoddessbothofwarandlearning，ofartsandarms，ofcounselanddespatch——agoddessarmedfromherbirth，agoddessdreadedinheaven，intheair，byseaandland。BythebellyofSaintBuff，quothPanurge，shouldIbeVulcan，whomthepoetblazons？Nay，Iamneitheracripple，coineroffalsemoney，norsmith，ashewas。MywifepossiblywillbeascomelyandhandsomeaseverwashisVenus，butnotawhorelikeher，norI

acuckoldlikehim。Thecrook-leggedslovenlyslavemadehimselftobedeclaredacuckoldbyadefinitesentenceandjudgment，intheopenviewofallthegods。Forthiscauseoughtyoutointerprettheafore-mentionedversequitecontrarytowhatyouhavesaid。Thislotimporteththatmywifewillbehonest，virtuous，chaste，loyal，andfaithful；notarmed，surly，wayward，cross，giddy，humorous，heady，hairbrained，orextractedoutofthebrains，aswasthegoddessPallas；norshallthisfairjollyJupiterbemyco-rival。Heshallneverdiphisbreadinmybroth，thoughweshouldsittogetheratonetable。

Considerhisexploitsandgallantactions。Hewasthemanifestruffian，wencher，whoremonger，andmostinfamouscuckold-makerthateverbreathed。

Hedidalwayslecheritlikeaboar，andnowonder，forhewasfosteredbyasowintheIsleofCandia，ifAgathoclestheBabylonianbenotaliar，andmorerammishlylasciviousthanabuck；whenceitisthatheissaidbyotherstohavebeensuckledandfedwiththemilkoftheAmalthaeangoat。

BythevirtueofAcheron，hejustled，bulled，andlastauriatedinonedaythethirdpartoftheworld，beastsandpeople，floodsandmountains；thatwasEuropa。ForthisgrandsubagitatoryachievementtheAmmonianscauseddraw，delineate，andpainthiminthefigureandshapeofaramramming，andhornedram。ButIknowwellenoughhowtoshieldandpreservemyselffromthathornedchampion。Hewillnot，trustme，havetodealinmypersonwithasottish，dunsicalAmphitryon，norwithasillywitlessArgus，forallhishundredspectacles，noryetwiththecowardlymeacockAcrisius，thesimplegoose-capLycusofThebes，thedotingblockheadAgenor，thephlegmaticpea-gooseAesop，rough-footedLycaon，theluskishmisshapenCorytusofTuscany，norwiththelarge-backedandstrong-reinedAtlas。Lethimalter，change，transform，andmetamorphosehimselfintoahundredvariousshapesandfigures，intoaswan，abull，asatyr，ashowerofgold，orintoacuckoo，ashedidwhenheunmaidenedhissisterJuno；intoaneagle，ram，ordove，aswhenhewasenamouredofthevirginPhthia，whothendweltintheAegeanterritory；intofire，aserpent，yea，evenintoaflea；intoEpicureanandDemocraticalatoms，or，moreMagistronostralistically，intothoseslyintentionsofthemind，whichintheschoolsarecalledsecondnotions，——I\'llcatchhiminthenick，andtakehimnapping。AndwouldyouknowwhatIwoulddountohim？EventhatwhichtohisfatherCoelumSaturndid——Senecaforetolditofme，andLactantiushathconfirmedit——whatthegoddessRheadidtoAthis。Iwouldmakehimtwostonelighter，ridhimofhisCypriancymbals，andcutsocloseandneatlybythebreech，thatthereshallnotremainthereofsomuchasone——，socleanlywouldIshavehim，anddisablehimforeverfrombeingPope，forTesticulosnonhabet。Holdthere，saidPantagruel；ho，softandfair，mylad！Enoughofthat，——castup，turnovertheleaves，andtryyourfortuneforthesecondtime。Thendidhefalluponthisensuingverse:

Membraquatit，gelidusquecoitformidinesanguis。

Hisjointsandmembersquake，hebecomespale，Andsuddenfeardothhiscoldbloodcongeal。

Thisimporteth，quothPantagruel，thatshewillsoundlybangyourbackandbelly。Cleanandquitecontrary，answeredPanurge；itisofmethatheprognosticates，insayingthatIwillbeatherlikeatigerifshevexme。

SirMartinWagstaffwillperformthatoffice，andindefaultofacudgel，thedevilgulphim，ifIshouldnoteatherupquick，asCandaultheLydiankingdidhiswife，whomheravenedanddevoured。

Youareverystout，saysPantagruel，andcourageous；Herculeshimselfdursthardlyadventuretoscufflewithyouinthisyourragingfury。Norisitstrange；fortheJanisworthtwo，andtwoinfightagainstHerculesaretootoostrong。AmIaJan？quothPanurge。No，no，answeredPantagruel。

Mymindwasonlyrunninguponthelurchandtricktrack。Thereafterdidhehit，atthethirdopeningofthebook，uponthisverse:

Foemineopraedae，etspoliorumardebatamore。

Afterthespoilandpillage，asinfire，Heburntwithastrongfemininedesire。

Thisportendeth，quothPantagruel，thatshewillstealyourgoods，androbyou。Hencethis，accordingtothesethreedrawnlots，willbeyourfuturedestiny，Iclearlyseeit，——youwillbeacuckold，youwillbebeaten，andyouwillberobbed。Nay，itisquiteotherwise，quothPanurge；foritiscertainthatthisversepresageththatshewilllovemewithaperfectliking。Nordidthesatyr-writingpoetlieinproofhereof，whenheaffirmedthatawoman，burningwithextremeaffection，takessometimespleasuretostealfromhersweetheart。Andwhat，Iprayyou？Aglove，apoint，orsomesuchtriflingtoyofnoimportance，tomakehimkeepagentlekindofstirringintheresearchandquestthereof。Inlikemanner，thesesmallscoldingdebatesandpettybrabblingcontentions，whichfrequentlyweseespringupandforacertainspaceboilveryhotbetwixtacoupleofhigh-spiritedlovers，arenothingelseyourecreativediversionsfortheirrefreshment，spurstoandincentivesofamoreferventamitythanever。As，forexample，wedosometimesseecutlerswithhammersmaultheirfinestwhetstones，therewithtosharpentheirirontoolsthebetter。AndthereforedoIthinkthatthesethreelotsmakemuchformyadvantage；

which，ifnot，Ifromtheirsentencetotallyappeal。Thereisnoappellation，quothPantagruel，fromthedecreesoffateordestiny，oflotorchance；asisrecordedbyourancientlawyers，witnessBaldus，Lib。ult。

Cap。deLeg。Thereasonhereofis，Fortunedothnotacknowledgeasuperior，towhomanappealmaybemadefromheroranyofhersubstitutes。

Andinthiscasethepupilcannotberestoredtohisrightinfull，asopenlybythesaidauthorisallegedinL。AitPraetor，paragr。ult。ff。deminor。

Chapter3。XIII。

HowPantagrueladvisethPanurgetotrythefuturegoodorbadluckofhismarriagebydreams。

Now，seeingwecannotagreetogetherinthemannerofexpoundingorinterpretingthesenseoftheVirgilianlots，letusbendourcourseanotherway，andtryanewsortofdivination。Ofwhatkind？askedPanurge。Ofagoodancientandauthenticfashion，answeredPantagruel；itisbydreams。Forindreaming，suchcircumstancesandconditionsbeingtheretoadhibited，asareclearlyenoughdescribedbyHippocrates，inLib。

(Greek)，byPlato，Plotin，Iamblicus，Sinesius，Aristotle，Xenophon，Galen，Plutarch，Artemidorus，Daldianus，Herophilus，Q。Calaber，Theocritus，Pliny，Athenaeus，andothers，thesouldothoftentimesforeseewhatistocome。Howtruethisis，youmayconceivebyaveryvulgarandfamiliarexample；aswhenyouseethatatsuchatimeassucklingbabes，wellnourished，fed，andfosteredwithgoodmilk，sleepsoundlyandprofoundly，thenursesintheinterimgetleavetosportthemselves，andarelicentiatedtorecreatetheirfanciesatwhatrangetothemshallseemmostfittingandexpedient，theirpresence，sedulity，andattendanceonthecradlebeing，duringallthatspace，heldunnecessary。Evenjustso，whenourbodyisatrest，thattheconcoctioniseverywhereaccomplished，andthat，tillitawake，itlacksfornothing，oursouldelightethtodisportitselfandiswellpleasedinthatfrolictotakeareviewofitsnativecountry，whichistheheavens，whereitreceivethamostnotableparticipationofitsfirstbeginningwithanimbuementfromitsdivinesource，andincontemplationofthatinfiniteandintellectualsphere，whereofthecentreiseverywhere，andthecircumferenceinnoplaceoftheuniversalworld，towit，God，accordingtothedoctrineofHermesTrismegistus，towhomnonewthinghappeneth，whomnothingthatispastescapeth，anduntowhomallthingsarealikepresent，remarkethnotonlywhatispreteritandgoneintheinferiorcourseandagitationofsublunarymatters，butwithaltakethnoticewhatistocome；thenbringingarelationofthosefutureeventsuntothebodyoftheoutwardsensesandexteriororgans，itisdivulgedabroaduntothehearingofothers。Whereupontheownerofthatsouldeservethtobetermedavaticinator，orprophet。

Nevertheless，thetruthis，thatthesoulisseldomabletoreportthosethingsinsuchsincerityasithathseenthem，byreasonoftheimperfectionandfrailtyofthecorporealsenses，whichobstructtheeffectuatingofthatoffice；evenasthemoondothnotcommunicateuntothisearthofoursthatlightwhichshereceivethfromthesunwithsomuchsplendour，heat，vigour，purity，andlivelinessasitwasgivenher。Henceitisrequisiteforthebetterreading，explaining，andunfoldingofthesesomniatoryvaticinationsandpredictionsofthatnature，thatadexterous，learned，skilful，wise，industrious，expert，rational，andperemptoryexpounderorinterpreterbepitchedupon，suchaoneasbytheGreeksiscalledonirocrit，oroniropolist。ForthiscauseHeraclituswaswonttosaythatnothingisbydreamsrevealedtous，thatnothingisbydreamsconcealedfromus，andthatonlywetherebyhaveamysticalsignificationandsecretevidenceofthingstocome，eitherforourownprosperousorunluckyfortune，orforthefavourableordisastroussuccessofanother。

ThesacredScripturestestifynoless，andprofanehistoriesassureusofit，inbothwhichareexposedtoourviewathousandseveralkindsofstrangeadventures，whichhavebefallenpataccordingtothenatureofthedream，andthataswelltothepartydreamerastoothers。TheAtlanticpeople，andthosethatinhabitthe(is)landofThasos，oneoftheCyclades，areofthisgrandcommoditydeprived；forintheircountriesnoneyeteverdreamed。Ofthissort(were)CleonofDaulia，Thrasymedes，andinourdaysthelearnedFrenchmanVillanovanus，neitherofallwhichknewwhatdreamingwas。

Failnotthereforeto-morrow，whenthejollyandfairAurorawithherrosyfingersdrawethasidethecurtainsofthenighttodriveawaythesableshadesofdarkness，tobendyourspiritswhollytothetaskofsleepingsound，andtheretoapplyyourself。Inthemeanwhileyoumustdenudeyourmindofeveryhumanpassionoraffection，suchasareloveandhatred，fearandhope，forasofoldthegreatvaticinator，mostfamousandrenownedprophetProteus，wasnotableinhisdisguiseortransformationintofire，water，atiger，adragon，andothersuchlikeuncouthshapesandvisors，topresageanythingthatwastocometillhewasrestoredtohisownfirstnaturalandkindlyform；justsodothman；for，athisreceptionoftheartofdivinationandfacultyofprognosticatingfuturethings，thatpartinhimwhichisthemostdivine，towit，theNous，orMens，mustbecalm，peaceable，untroubled，quiet，still，hushed，andnotembusiedordistractedwithforeign，soul-disturbingperturbations。Iamcontent，quothPanurge。

But，Iprayyou，sir，mustIthisevening，ereIgotobed，eatmuchorlittle？Idonotaskthiswithoutcause。ForifIsupnotwell，large，round，andamply，mysleepingisnotworthaforkedturnip。AllthenightlongIthenbutdozeandrave，andinmyslumberingfitstalkidlenonsense，mythoughtsbeinginadullbrownstudy，andasdeepintheirdumpsasismybellyhollow。

Nottosup，answeredPantagruel，werebestforyou，consideringthestateofyourcomplexionandhealthyconstitutionofyourbody。Acertainveryancientprophet，namedAmphiaraus，wishedsuchashadamindbydreamstobeimbuedwithanyoracle，forfour-and-twentyhourstotastenovictuals，andtoabstainfromwinethreedaystogether。Yetshallnotyoubeputtosuchasharp，hard，rigorous，andextremesparingdiet。Iamtrulyrightapttobelievethatamanwhosestomachisrepletewithvariouscheer，andinamannersurfeitedwithdrinking，ishardlyabletoconceivearightofspiritualthings；yetamnotIoftheopinionofthosewho，afterlongandpertinaciousfastings，thinkbysuchmeanstoentermoreprofoundlyintothespeculationofcelestialmysteries。YoumayverywellrememberhowmyfatherGargantua(whomhereforhonoursakeIname)hathoftentoldusthatthewritingsofabstinent，abstemious，andlong-fastinghermitswereeverywhitassaltless，dry，jejune，andinsipidasweretheirbodieswhentheydidcomposethem。Itisamostdifficultthingforthespiritstobeinagoodplight，sereneandlively，whenthereisnothinginthebodybutakindofvoidnessandinanity；seeingthephilosopherswiththephysiciansjointlyaffirmthatthespiritswhicharestyledanimalspringfrom，andhavetheirconstantpracticeinandthroughthearterialblood，refinedandpurifiedtothelifewithintheadmirablenetwhich，wonderfullyframed，liethundertheventriclesandtunnelsofthebrain。Hegaveusalsotheexampleofthephilosopherwho，whenhethoughtmostseriouslytohavewithdrawnhimselfuntoasolitaryprivacy，forfromtherustlingcluttermentsofthetumultuousandconfusedworld，thebettertoimprovehistheory，tocontrive，comment，andratiocinate，was，notwithstandinghisuttermostendeavourstofreehimselffromalluntowardnoises，surroundedandenvironedaboutsowiththebarkingofcurs，bawlingofmastiffs，bleatingofsheep，pratingofparrots，tattlingofjackdaws，gruntingofswine，girningofboars，yelpingoffoxes，mewingofcats，cheepingofmice，squeakingofweasels，croakingoffrogs，crowingofcocks，cacklingofhens，callingofpartridges，chantingofswans，chatteringofjays，peepingofchickens，singingoflarks，creakingofgeese，chirpingofswallows，cluckingofmoorfowls，cuckingofcuckoos，bumblingofbees，rammageofhawks，chirmingoflinnets，croakingofravens，screechingofowls，whickingofpigs，gushingofhogs，curringofpigeons，grumblingofcushat-doves，howlingofpanthers，curklingofquails，chirpingofsparrows，cracklingofcrows，nuzzingofcamels，wheeningofwhelps，buzzingofdromedaries，mumblingofrabbits，crickingofferrets，hummingofwasps，miolingoftigers，bruzzingofbears，sussingofkitlings，clamouringofscarfs，whimperingoffulmarts，booingofbuffaloes，warblingofnightingales，quaveringofmavises，drintlingofturkeys，coniatingofstorks，frantlingofpeacocks，clatteringofmagpies，murmuringofstock-

doves，croutingofcormorants，ciglingoflocusts，charmingofbeagles，guarringofpuppies，snarlingofmessens，rantlingofrats，guerietingofapes，snutteringofmonkeys，piolingofpelicans，quackingofducks，yellingofwolves，roaringoflions，neighingofhorses，cryingofelephants，hissingofserpents，andwailingofturtles，thathewasmuchmoretroubledthanifhehadbeeninthemiddleofthecrowdatthefairofFontenayorNiort。Justsoisitwiththosewhoaretormentedwiththegrievouspangsofhunger。Thestomachbeginstognaw，andbark，asitwere，theeyestolookdim，andtheveins，bygreedilysuckingsomerefectiontothemselvesfromthepropersubstanceofallthemembersofafleshyconsistence，violentlypulldownanddrawbackthatvagrant，roamingspirit，carelessandneglectingofhisnurseandnaturalhost，whichisthebody；aswhenahawkuponthefist，willingtotakeherflightbyasoaringaloftintheopenspaciousair，isonasuddendrawnbackbyaleashtiedtoherfeet。

TothispurposealsodidheallegeuntoustheauthorityofHomer，thefatherofallphilosophy，whosaidthattheGreciansdidnotputanendtotheirmournfulmoodforthedeathofPatroclus，themostintimatefriendofAchilles，tillhungerinaragedeclaredherself，andtheirbelliesprotestedtofurnishnomoretearsuntotheirgrief。Forfrombodiesemptiedandmaceratedbylongfastingtherecouldnotbesuchsupplyofmoistureandbrackishdropsasmightbeproperonthatoccasion。

Mediocrityatalltimesiscommendable；norinthiscaseareyoutoabandonit。Youmaytakealittlesupper，butthereatmustyounoteatofahare，norofanyotherflesh。Youarelikewisetoabstainfrombeans，fromthepreak，bysomecalledthepolyp，asalsofromcoleworts，cabbage，andallothersuchlikewindyvictuals，whichmayendangerthetroublingofyourbrainsandthedimmingorcastingakindofmistoveryouranimalspirits。

For，asalooking-glasscannotexhibitthesemblanceorrepresentationoftheobjectsetbeforeit，andexposedtohaveitsimagetothelifeexpressed，ifthatthepolishedsleekednessthereofbedarkenedbygrossbreathings，dampishvapours，andfoggy，thick，infectiousexhalations，evensothefancycannotwellreceivetheimpressionofthelikenessofthosethingswhichdivinationdothaffordbydreams，ifanywaythebodybeannoyedortroubledwiththefumishsteamofmeatwhichithadtakeninawhilebefore；becausebetwixtthesetwotherestillhathbeenamutualsympathyandfellow-feelingofanindissolublyknitaffection。YoushalleatgoodEusebianandBergamotpears，oneappleoftheshort-shankpippinkind，aparcelofthelittleplumsofTours，andsomefewcherriesofthegrowthofmyorchard。Norshallyouneedtofearthatthereuponwillensuedoubtfuldreams，fallacious，uncertain，andnottobetrustedto，asbysomeperipateticphilosophershathbeenrelated；forthat，saythey，mendomorecopiouslyintheseasonofharvestfeedonfruitagesthanatanyothertime。Thesameismysticallytaughtusbytheancientprophetsandpoets，whoallegethatallvainanddeceitfuldreamsliehidandincovertundertheleaveswhicharespreadontheground——byreasonthattheleavesfallfromthetreesintheautumnalquarter。Forthenaturalfervourwhich，aboundinginripe，fresh，recentfruits，comethbythequicknessofitsebullitiontobewitheaseevaporatedintotheanimalpartsofthedreamingperson——theexperimentisobviousinmost——isaprettywhilebeforeitbeexpired，dissolved，andevanished。Asforyourdrink，youaretohaveitofthefair，purewaterofmyfountain。

Thecondition，quothPanurge，isveryhard。Nevertheless，costwhatpriceitwill，orwhatsoevercomeofit，Iheartilycondescendthereto；

protestingthatIshallto-morrowbreakmyfastbetimesaftermysomniatoryexercitations。Furthermore，IrecommendmyselftoHomer\'stwogates，toMorpheus，toIselon，toPhantasus，anduntoPhobetor。Iftheyinthismygreatneedsuccourmeandgrantmethatassistancewhichisfitting，Iwillinhonourofthemallerectajolly，genteelaltar，composedofthesoftestdown。IfIwerenowinLaconia，inthetempleofJuno，betwixtOetileandThalamis，shesuddenlywoulddisentanglemyperplexity，resolvemeofmydoubts，andcheermeupwithfairandjovialdreamsinadeepsleep。

ThendidhesaythusuntoPantagruel:Sir，wereitnotexpedientformypurposetoputabranchortwoofcuriouslaurelbetwixtthequiltandbolsterofmybed，underthepillowonwhichmyheadmustlean？Thereisnoneedatallofthat，quothPantagruel；for，besidesthatitisathingverysuperstitious，thecheatthereofhathbeenatlargediscovereduntousinthewritingsofSerapion，Ascalonites，Antiphon，Philochorus，Artemon，andFulgentiusPlanciades。Icouldsayasmuchtoyouoftheleftshoulderofacrocodile，asalsoofachameleon，withoutprejudicebeitspokentothecreditwhichisduetotheopinionofoldDemocritus；andlikewiseofthestoneoftheBactrians，calledEumetrides，andoftheAmmonianhorn；

forsobytheAethiopiansistermedacertainpreciousstone，colouredlikegold，andinthefashion，shape，form，andproportionofaram\'shorn，asthehornofJupiterAmmonisreportedtohavebeen:theyoverandaboveassuredlyaffirmingthatthedreamsofthosewhocarryitaboutthemarenolessveritableandinfalliblethanthetruthofthedivineoracles。NoristhismuchunliketowhatHomerandVirgilwroteofthesetwogatesofsleep，towhichyouhavebeenpleasedtorecommendthemanagementofwhatyouhaveinhand。Theoneisofivory，whichlettethinconfused，doubtful，anduncertaindreams；forthroughivory，howsmallandslendersoeveritbe，wecanseenothing，thedensity，opacity，andclosecompactednessofitsmaterialpartshinderingthepenetrationofthevisualraysandthereceptionofthespeciesesofsuchthingsasarevisible。Theotherisofhorn，atwhichanentryismadetosureandcertaindreams，evenasthroughhorn，byreasonofthediaphanoussplendourandbrighttransparencythereof，thespeciesofallobjectsofthesightdistinctlypass，andsowithoutconfusionappear，thattheyareclearlyseen。Yourmeaningis，andyouwouldtherebyinfer，quothFriarJohn，thatthedreamsofallhornedcuckolds，ofwhichnumberPanurge，bythehelpofGodandhisfuturewife，iswithoutcontroversytobeone，arealwaystrueandinfallible。

Chapter3。XIV。

Panurge\'sdream，withtheinterpretationthereof。

Atseveno\'clockofthenextfollowingmorningPanurgedidnotfailtopresenthimselfbeforePantagruel，inwhosechamberwereatthattimeEpistemon，FriarJohnoftheFunnels，Ponocrates，Eudemon，Carpalin，andothers，towhom，attheentryofPanurge，Pantagruelsaid，Lo！herecomethourdreamer。Thatword，quothEpistemon，inancienttimescostverymuch，andwasdearlysoldtothechildrenofJacob。ThensaidPanurge，Ihavebeenplungedintomydumpssodeeply，asifIhadbeenlodgedwithGafferNoddy-cap。DreamedindeedIhave，andthatrightlustily；butIcouldtakealongwithmenomorethereofthatIdidgoodlyunderstandsaveonlythatI

inmyvisionhadapretty，fair，young，gallant，handsomewoman，whonolesslovinglyandkindlytreatedandentertainedme，hugged，cherished，cockered，dandled，andmademuchofme，asifIhadbeenanotherneatdilly-darlingminion，likeAdonis。NeverwasmanmoregladthanIwasthen；myjoyatthattimewasincomparable。Sheflatteredme，tickledme，strokedme，gropedme，frizzledme，curledme，kissedme，embracedme，laidherhandsaboutmyneck，andnowandthenmadejestinglyprettylittlehornsabovemyforehead。Itoldherinthelikedisport，asIdidplaythefoolwithher，thatsheshouldratherplaceandfixtheminalittlebelowmineeyes，thatImightseethebetterwhatIshouldstickatwiththem；

for，beingsosituated，Momusthenwouldfindnofaulttherewith，ashedidoncewiththepositionofthehornsofbulls。Thewanton，toyinggirl，notwithstandinganyremonstranceofminetothecontrary，didalwaysdriveandthrustthemfurtherin；yetthereby，whichtomeseemedwonderful，shedidnotdomeanyhurtatall。Alittleafter，thoughIknownothow，I

thoughtIwastransformedintoatabor，andsheintoachough。

Mysleepingtherebeinginterrupted，Iawakedinastart，angry，displeased，perplexed，chafing，andverywroth。Therehaveyoualargeplatterfulofdreams，makethereupongoodcheer，and，ifyouplease，sparenottointerpretthemaccordingtotheunderstandingwhichyoumayhaveinthem。Come，Carpalin，letustobreakfast。Tomysenseandmeaning，quothPantagruel，ifIhaveskillorknowledgeintheartofdivinationbydreams，yourwifewillnotreally，andtotheoutwardappearanceoftheworld，plantorsethorns，andstickthemfastinyourforehead，afteravisiblemanner，assatyrsusetowearandcarrythem；butshewillbesofarfrompreservingherselfloyalinthedischargeandobservanceofaconjugalduty，that，onthecontrary，shewillviolateherplightedfaith，breakhermarriage-oath，infringeallmatrimonialties，prostituteherbodytothedallianceofothermen，andsomakeyouacuckold。ThispointisclearlyandmanifestlyexplainedandexpoundedbyArtemidorusjustasI

haverelatedit。Norwilltherebeanymetamorphosisortransmutationmadeofyouintoadrumortabor，butyouwillsurelybeassoundlybeatenaseverwastaboratamerrywedding。Noryetwillshebechangedintoachough，butwillstealfromyou，chieflyinthenight，asisthenatureofthatthievishbird。HerebymayyouperceiveyourdreamstobeineveryjotconformandagreeabletotheVirgilianlots。Acuckoldyouwillbe，beatenandrobbed。ThencriedoutFatherJohnwithaloudvoice，Hetellsthetruth；uponmyconscience，thouwiltbeacuckold——anhonestone，Iwarrantthee。Othebravehornsthatwillbebornebythee！Ha，ha，ha！OurgoodMasterdeCornibus。Godsavethee，andshieldthee！Wiltthoubepleasedtopreachbuttwowordsofasermontous，andIwillgothroughtheparishchurchtogatherupalmsforthepoor。

Youare，quothPanurge，veryfarmistakeninyourinterpretation；forthematterisquitecontrarytoyoursensethereof。MydreampresageththatI

shallbymarriagebestoredwithplentyofallmannerofgoods——thehornifyingofmeshowingthatIwillpossessacornucopia，thatAmalthaeanhornwhichiscalledthehornofabundance，whereofthefruitiondidstillportendthewealthoftheenjoyer。Youpossiblywillsaythattheyareratherliketobesatyr\'shorns；foryouofthesedidmakesomemention。

Amen，Amen，Fiat，fiatur，addifferentiampapae。ThusshallIhavemytouch-her-homestillready。Mystaffoflove，sempiternallyinagoodcase，will，satyr-like，benevertoiledout——athingwhichallmenwishfor，andsenduptheirprayerstothatpurpose，butsuchathingasneverthelessisgrantedbuttoafew。HencedothitfollowbyaconsequenceasclearasthesunbeamsthatIwillneverbeinthedangerofbeingmadeacuckold，forthedefecthereofisCausasinequanon；yea，thesolecause，asmanythink，ofmakinghusbandscuckolds。Whatmakespoorscoundrelroguestobeg，Iprayyou？Isitnotbecausetheyhavenotenoughathomewherewithtofilltheirbelliesandtheirpokes？Whatisitmakesthewolvestoleavethewoods？Isitnotthewantoffleshmeat？

Whatmakethwomenwhores？Youunderstandmewellenough。AndhereinmayI

verywellsubmitmyopiniontothejudgmentoflearnedlawyers，presidents，counsellors，advocates，procurers，attorneys，andotherglossersandcommentatorsonthevenerablerubric，Defrigidisetmaleficiatis。Youare，intruth，sir，asitseemstome(excusemyboldnessifIhavetransgressed)，inamostpalpableandabsurderrortoattributemyhornstocuckoldry。Dianawearsthemonherheadafterthemannerofacrescent。

Issheacucqueanforthat？Howthedevilcanshebecuckoldedwhoneveryetwasmarried？Speaksomewhatmorecorrectly，Ibeseechyou，lestshe，beingoffended，furnishyouwithapairofhornsshapenbythepatternofthosewhichshemadeforActaeon。ThegoodlyBacchusalsocarrieshorns，——

Pan，JupiterAmmon，withagreatmanyothers。Aretheyallcuckolds？IfJovebeacuckold，Junoisawhore。Thisfollowsbythefiguremetalepsis:

astocallachild，inthepresenceofhisfatherandmother，abastard，orwhore\'sson，istacitlyandunderboardnolessthanifhehadsaidopenlythefatherisacuckoldandhiswifeapunk。Letourdiscoursecomenearertothepurpose。Thehornsthatmywifedidmakemearehornsofabundance，plantedandgraftedinmyheadfortheincreaseandshootingupofallgoodthings。ThiswillIaffirmfortruth，uponmyword，andpawnmyfaithandcreditbothuponit。Asfortherest，Iwillbenolessjoyful，frolic，glad，cheerful，merry，jolly，andgamesome，thanawell-bendedtaborinthehandsofagooddrummeratanuptialfeast，stillmakinganoise，stillrolling，stillbuzzingandcracking。Believeme，sir，inthatconsistethnoneofmyleastgoodfortunes。Andmywifewillbejocund，feat，compt，neat，quaint，dainty，trim，trickedup，brisk，smirk，andsmug，evenasaprettylittleCornishchough。Whowillnotbelievethis，lethellorthegallowsbetheburdenofhisChristmascarol。

Iremark，quothPantagruel，thelastpointorparticlewhichyoudidspeakof，and，havingseriouslyconferreditwiththefirst，findthatatthebeginningyouweredelightedwiththesweetnessofyourdream；butintheendandfinalclosureofityoustartinglyawaked，andonasuddenwereforthwithvexedincholerandannoyed。Yea，quothPanurge，thereasonofthatwasbecauseIhadfastedtoolong。Flatternotyourself，quothPantagruel；allwillgotoruin。Knowforacertaintruth，thateverysleepthatendethwithastarting，andleavesthepersonirksome，grieved，andfretting，dotheithersignifyapresentevil，orotherwisepresagethandportendethafutureimminentmishap。Tosignifyanevil，thatistosay，toshowsomesicknesshardlycurable，akindofpestilentiousormalignantboil，botch，orsore，lyingandlurkinghid，occult，andlatentwithintheverycentreofthebody，whichmanytimesdothbythemeansofsleep，whosenatureistoreinforceandstrengthenthefacultyandvirtueofconcoction，beingaccordingtothetheoremsofphysictodeclareitself，andmovestowardtheoutwardsuperficies。Atthissadstirringisthesleeper\'srestandeasedisturbedandbroken，whereofthefirstfeelingandstingingsmartadmonisheththathemustpatientlyenduregreatpainandtrouble，andthereuntoprovidesomeremedy；aswhenwesayproverbially，toincensehornets，tomoveastinkingpuddle，andtoawakeasleepinglion，insteadofthesemoreusualexpressions，andofamorefamiliarandplainmeaning，toprovokeangrypersons，tomakeathingtheworsebymeddlingwithit，andtoirritateatestycholericmanwhenheisatquiet。Ontheotherpart，topresageorforetellanevil，especiallyinwhatconcerneththeexploitsofthesoulinmatterofsomnialdivinations，isasmuchtosayasthatitgivethustounderstandthatsomedismalfortuneormischanceisdestinatedandpreparedforus，whichshortlywillnotfailtocometopass。AclearandevidentexamplehereofistobefoundinthedreamanddreadfulawakingofHecuba，aslikewiseinthatofEurydice，thewifeofOrpheus，neitherofwhichwas(no)soonerfinished，saithEnnius，butthatincontinentlythereaftertheyawakedinastart，andwereaffrightedhorribly。Thereupontheseaccidentsensued:HecubahadherhusbandPriamus，togetherwithherchildren，slainbeforehereyes，andsawthenthedestructionofhercountry；andEurydicediedspeedilythereafterinamostmiserablemanner。Aeneas，dreamingthathespoketoHectoralittleafterhisdecease，didonasuddeninagreatstartawake，andwasafraid。Nowhereupondidfollowthisevent:Troythatsamenightwasspoiled，sacked，andburnt。AtanothertimethesameAeneasdreamingthathesawhisfamiliargeniusesandpenates，inaghastlyfrightandastonishmentawaked，ofwhichterrorandamazementtheissuewas，thattheverynextdaysubsequent，byamosthorribletempestonthesea，hewasliketohaveperishedandbeencastaway。Moreover，Turnusbeingprompted，instigated，andstirredupbythefantasticvisionofaninfernalfurytoenterintoabloodywaragainstAeneas，awakedinastartmuchtroubledanddisquietedinspirit；insequelwhereof，aftermanynotableandfamousrouts，defeats，anddiscomfituresinopenfield，hecameatlasttobekilledinasinglecombatbythesaidAeneas。AthousandotherinstancesI

couldafford，ifitwereneedful，ofthismatter。WhilstIrelatethesestoriesofAeneas，remarkthesayingofFabiusPictor，whofaithfullyaverredthatnothinghadatanytimebefallenunto，wasdone，orenterprisedbyhim，whereofhepreallablyhadnotnotice，andbeforehandforeseenittothefull，bysurepredictionsaltogetherfoundedontheoraclesofsomnialdivination。Tothisthereisnowantofpregnantreasons，nomorethanofexamples。Forifreposeandrestinsleepingbeaspecialgiftandfavourofthegods，asismaintainedbythephilosophers，andbythepoetattestedintheselines，Thensleep，thatheavenlygift，cametorefreshOfhumanlabourerstheweariedflesh；

suchagiftorbenefitcanneverfinishorterminateinwrathandindignationwithoutportendingsomeunluckyfateandmostdisastrousfortunetoensue。Otherwiseitwereamolestation，andnotanease；ascourge，andnotagift；atleast，(not)proceedingfromthegodsabove，butfromtheinfernaldevilsourenemies，accordingtothecommonvulgarsaying。