第10章

Chapter2。XXXII。

HowPantagruelwithhistonguecoveredawholearmy，andwhattheauthorsawinhismouth。

Thus，asPantagruelwithallhisarmyhadenteredintothecountryoftheDipsodes，everyonewasgladofit，andincontinentlyrenderedthemselvesuntohim，bringinghimoutoftheirowngoodwillsthekeysofallthecitieswherehewent，theAlmirodsonlyexcepted，who，beingresolvedtoholdoutagainsthim，madeanswertohisheraldsthattheywouldnotyieldbutuponveryhonourableandgoodconditions。

What！saidPantagruel，dotheyaskanybettertermsthanthehandatthepotandtheglassintheirfist？Come，letusgosackthem，andputthemalltothesword。Thendidtheyputthemselvesingoodorder，asbeingfullydeterminedtogiveanassault，butbytheway，passingthroughalargefield，theywereovertakenwithagreatshowerofrain，whereattheybegantoshiverandtremble，tocrowd，press，andthrustclosetooneanother。WhenPantagruelsawthat，hemadetheircaptainstellthemthatitwasnothing，andthathesawwellabovethecloudsthatitwouldbenothingbutalittledew；but，howsoever，thattheyshouldputthemselvesinorder，andhewouldcoverthem。Thendidtheyputthemselvesinacloseorder，andstoodasnearto(each)otherastheycould，andPantagrueldrewouthistongueonlyhalf-wayandcoveredthemall，asahendothherchickens。Inthemeantime，I，whorelatetoyouthesesoveritablestories，hidmyselfunderaburdock-leaf，whichwasnotmuchlessinlargenessthanthearchofthebridgeofMontrible，butwhenIsawthemthuscovered，Iwenttowardsthemtosheltermyselflikewise；whichIcouldnotdo，forthattheywereso，asthesayingis，Attheyard\'sendthereisnoclothleft。Then，aswellasIcould，Igotuponit，andwentalongfulltwoleaguesuponhistongue，andsolongmarchedthatatlastIcameintohismouth。But，Ogodsandgoddesses！whatdidIseethere？JupiterconfoundmewithhistrisulclightningifIlie！IwalkedthereastheydoinSophia(at)Constantinople，andsawtheregreatrocks，likethemountainsinDenmark——Ibelievethatthosewerehisteeth。Isawalsofairmeadows，largeforests，greatandstrongcitiesnotajotlessthanLyonsorPoictiers。ThefirstmanImetwiththerewasagoodhonestfellowplantingcoleworts，whereatbeingverymuchamazed，Iaskedhim，Myfriend，whatdostthoumakehere？Iplantcoleworts，saidhe。Buthow，andwherewith？saidI。Ha，sir，saidhe，everyonecannothavehisballocksasheavyasamortar，neithercanwebeallrich。ThusdoIgetmypoorliving，andcarrythemtothemarkettosellinthecitywhichisherebehind。Jesus！saidI，istherehereanewworld？Sure，saidhe，itisneverajotnew，butitiscommonlyreportedthat，withoutthis，thereisanearth，whereoftheinhabitantsenjoythelightofasunandamoon，andthatitisfullofandreplenishedwithverygoodcommodities；butyetthisismoreancientthanthat。Yeabut，saidI，myfriend，whatisthenameofthatcitywhitherthoucarriestthycolewortstosell？ItiscalledAspharage，saidhe，andalltheindwellersareChristians，veryhonestmen，andwillmakeyougoodcheer。Tobebrief，Iresolvedtogothither。Now，inmyway，Imetwithafellowthatwaslyinginwaittocatchpigeons，ofwhomIasked，Myfriend，fromwhencecomethesepigeons？Sir，saidhe，theycomefromtheotherworld。ThenIthoughtthat，whenPantagruelyawned，thepigeonswentintohismouthinwholeflocks，thinkingthatithadbeenapigeon-house。

ThenIwentintothecity，whichIfoundfair，verystrong，andseatedinagoodair；butatmyentrytheguarddemandedofmemypassorticket。

WhereatIwasmuchastonished，andaskedthem，Mymasters，isthereanydangeroftheplaguehere？OLord！saidthey，theydiehardbyheresofastthatthecartrunsaboutthestreets。GoodGod！saidI，andwhere？

WhereuntotheyansweredthatitwasinLarynxandPharynx，whicharetwogreatcitiessuchasRouenandNantes，richandofgreattrading。Andthecauseoftheplaguewasbyastinkingandinfectiousexhalationwhichlatelyvapouredoutoftheabysms，whereoftherehavediedabovetwoandtwentyhundredandthreescorethousandandsixteenpersonswithinthissevennight。ThenIconsidered，calculated，andfoundthatitwasarankandunsavourybreathingwhichcameoutofPantagruel\'sstomachwhenhedideatsomuchgarlic，aswehaveaforesaid。

Partingfromthence，Ipassedamongsttherocks，whichwerehisteeth，andneverleftwalkingtillIgotupononeofthem；andthereIfoundthepleasantestplacesintheworld，greatlargetennis-courts，fairgalleries，sweetmeadows，storeofvines，andaninfinitenumberofbanquetingsummerouthousesinthefields，aftertheItalianfashion，fullofpleasureanddelight，whereIstayedfullfourmonths，andnevermadebettercheerinmylifeasthen。AfterthatIwentdownbythehinderteethtocometothechaps。ButinthewayIwasrobbedbythievesinagreatforestthatisintheterritorytowardstheears。Then，afteralittlefurthertravelling，I

felluponaprettypettyvillage——trulyIhaveforgotthenameofit——whereIwasyetmerrierthanever，andgotsomecertainmoneytoliveby。Canyoutellhow？Bysleeping。Fortheretheyhiremenbythedaytosleep，andtheygetbyitsixpenceaday，buttheythatcansnorthardgetatleastninepence。HowIhadbeenrobbedinthevalleyIinformedthesenators，whotoldmethat，inverytruth，thepeopleofthatsidewerebadliversandnaturallythievish，wherebyIperceivedwellthat，aswehavewithusthecountriesCisalpineandTransalpine，thatis，behitherandbeyondthemountains，sohavetheytherethecountriesCidentineandTradentine，thatis，behitherandbeyondtheteeth。Butitisfarbetterlivingonthisside，andtheairispurer。ThenIbegantothinkthatitisverytruewhichiscommonlysaid，thattheonehalfoftheworldknowethnothowtheotherhalfliveth；seeingnonebeforemyselfhadeverwrittenofthatcountry，whereinareabovefive-and-twentykingdomsinhabited，besidesdeserts，andagreatarmofthesea。ConcerningwhichpurposeI

havecomposedagreatbook，entitled，TheHistoryoftheThrottias，becausetheydwellinthethroatofmymasterPantagruel。

AtlastIwaswillingtoreturn，and，passingbyhisbeard，Icastmyselfuponhisshoulders，andfromthencesliddowntotheground，andfellbeforehim。AssoonasIwasperceivedbyhim，heaskedme，Whencecomestthou，Alcofribas？Iansweredhim，Outofyourmouth，mylord。Andhowlonghastthoubeenthere？saidhe。Sincethetime，saidI，thatyouwentagainsttheAlmirods。Thatisaboutsixmonthsago，saidhe。Andwherewithdidstthoulive？Whatdidstthoudrink？Ianswered，Mylord，ofthesamethatyoudid，andofthedaintiestmorselsthatpassedthroughyourthroatItooktoll。Yeabut，saidhe，wheredidstthoushite？Inyourthroat，mylord，saidI。Ha，ha！thouartamerryfellow，saidhe。

WehavewiththehelpofGodconqueredallthelandoftheDipsodes；IwillgivetheetheChastelleine，orLairdshipofSalmigondin。Gramercy，mylord，saidI，yougratifymebeyondallthatIhavedeservedofyou。

Chapter2。XXXIII。

HowPantagruelbecamesick，andthemannerhowhewasrecovered。

AwhileafterthisthegoodPantagruelfellsick，andhadsuchanobstructioninhisstomachthathecouldneithereatnordrink；and，becausemischiefseldomcomesalone，ahotpissseizedonhim，whichtormentedhimmorethanyouwouldbelieve。Hisphysiciansneverthelesshelpedhimverywell，andwithstoreoflenitivesanddiureticdrugsmadehimpissawayhispain。Hisurinewassohotthatsincethattimeitisnotyetcold，andyouhaveofitindiversplacesofFrance，accordingtothecoursethatittook，andtheyarecalledthehotbaths，as——

AtCoderets。

AtLimous。

AtDast。

AtBallervie(Balleruc)。

AtNeric。

AtBourbonansie，andelsewhereinItaly。

AtMongros。

AtAppone。

AtSanctoPetrodePadua。

AtSt。Helen。

AtCasaNuova。

AtSt。Bartholomew，inthecountyofBoulogne。

AtthePorrette，andathousandotherplaces。

AndIwondermuchatarabbleoffoolishphilosophersandphysicians，whospendtheirtimeindisputingwhencetheheatofthesaidwaterscometh，whetheritbebyreasonofborax，orsulphur，oralum，orsaltpetre，thatiswithinthemine。Fortheydonothingbutdote，andbetterwereitforthemtorubtheirarseagainstathistlethantowasteawaytheirtimethusindisputingofthatwhereoftheyknownottheoriginal；fortheresolutioniseasy，neitherneedwetoinquireanyfurtherthanthatthesaidbathscamebyahotpissofthegoodPantagruel。

Nowtotellyouafterwhatmannerhewascuredofhisprincipaldisease。I

letpasshowforaminorativeorgentlepotionhetookfourhundredpoundweightofcolophoniacscammony，sixscoreandeighteencartloadsofcassia，aneleventhousandandninehundredpoundweightofrhubarb，besidesotherconfusejumblingsofsundrydrugs。Youmustunderstandthatbytheadviceofthephysiciansitwasordainedthatwhatdidoffendhisstomachshouldbetakenaway；andthereforetheymadeseventeengreatballsofcopper，eachwhereofwasbiggerthanthatwhichistobeseenonthetopofSt。

Peter\'sneedleatRome，andinsuchsortthattheydidopeninthemidstandshutwithaspring。Intooneofthementeredoneofhismencarryingalanternandatorchlighted，andsoPantagruelswallowedhimdownlikealittlepill。Intosevenotherswentsevencountry-fellows，havingeveryoneofthemashovelonhisneck。Intonineothersenteredninewood-

carriers，havingeachofthemabaskethungathisneck，andsoweretheyswalloweddownlikepills。Whentheywereinhisstomach，everyoneundidhisspring，andcameoutoftheircabins。Thefirstwhereofwashethatcarriedthelantern，andsotheyfellmorethanhalfaleagueintoamosthorriblegulf，morestinkingandinfectiousthaneverwasMephitis，orthemarshesoftheCamerina，ortheabominablyunsavourylakeofSorbona，whereofStrabomakethmention。Andhaditnotbeenthattheyhadverywellantidotedtheirstomach，heart，andwine-pot，whichiscalledthenoddle，theyhadbeenaltogethersuffocatedandchokedwiththesedetestablevapours。Owhataperfume！Owhatanevaporationwherewithtobewraythemasksormufflersofyoungmangyqueans。Afterthat，withgropingandsmellingtheycameneartothefaecalmatterandthecorruptedhumours。

Finally，theyfoundamontjoyorheapofordureandfilth。Thenfellthepioneerstoworktodigitup，andtherestwiththeirshovelsfilledthebaskets；andwhenallwascleansedeveryoneretiredhimselfintohisball。

Thisdone，Pantagruelenforcinghimselftovomit，veryeasilybroughtthemout，andtheymadenomoreshowinhismouththanafartinyours。But，whentheycamemerrilyoutoftheirpills，IthoughtupontheGrecianscomingoutoftheTrojanhorse。Bythismeanswashehealedandbroughtuntohisformerstateandconvalescence；andofthesebrazenpills，orrathercopperballs，youhaveoneatOrleans，uponthesteepleoftheHolyCrossChurch。

Chapter2。XXXIV。

Theconclusionofthispresentbook，andtheexcuseoftheauthor。

Now，mymasters，youhaveheardabeginningofthehorrifichistoryofmylordandmasterPantagruel。HerewillImakeanendofthefirstbook。Myheadachesalittle，andIperceivethattheregistersofmybrainaresomewhatjumbledanddisorderedwiththisSeptembraljuice。YoushallhavetherestofthehistoryatFrankfortmartnextcoming，andthereshallyouseehowPanurgewasmarriedandmadeacuckoldwithinamonthafterhiswedding；howPantagruelfoundoutthephilosopher\'sstone，themannerhowhefoundit，andthewayhowtouseit；howhepassedovertheCaspianmountains，andhowhesailedthroughtheAtlanticsea，defeatedtheCannibals，andconqueredtheislesofPearls；howhemarriedthedaughteroftheKingofIndia，calledPresthan；howhefoughtagainstthedevilandburntupfivechambersofhell，ransackedthegreatblackchamber，threwProserpinaintothefire，brokefiveteethtoLucifer，andthehornthatwasinhisarse；howhevisitedtheregionsofthemoontoknowwhetherindeedthemoonwerenotentireandwhole，orifthewomenhadthreequartersofitintheirheads，andathousandotherlittlemerrimentsallveritable。Thesearebravethingstruly。Goodnight，gentlemen。

Perdonatemi，andthinknotsomuchuponmyfaultsthatyouforgetyourown。

Ifyousaytome，Master，itwouldseemthatyouwerenotverywiseinwritingtoustheseflimflamstoriesandpleasantfooleries；Iansweryou，thatyouarenotmuchwisertospendyourtimeinreadingthem。

Nevertheless，ifyoureadthemtomakeyourselvesmerry，asinmannerofpastimeIwrotethem，youandIbotharefarmoreworthyofpardonthanagreatrabbleofsquint-mindedfellows，dissemblingandcounterfeitsaints，demurelookers，hypocrites，pretendedzealots，toughfriars，buskin-monks，andothersuchsectsofmen，whodisguisethemselveslikemasquerstodeceivetheworld。For，whilsttheygivethecommonpeopletounderstandthattheyarebusiedaboutnothingbutcontemplationanddevotioninfastingsandmacerationoftheirsensuality——andthatonlytosustainandalimentthesmallfrailtyoftheirhumanity——itissofarotherwisethat，onthecontrary，Godknowswhatcheertheymake；EtCuriossimulant，sedBacchanaliavivunt。Youmayreaditingreatlettersinthecolouringoftheirredsnouts，andgulchingbelliesasbigasatun，unlessitbewhentheyperfumethemselveswithsulphur。Asfortheirstudy，itiswhollytakenupinreadingofPantagruelianbooks，notsomuchtopassthetimemerrilyastohurtsomeoneorothermischievously，towit，inarticling，sole-articling，wry-neckifying，buttock-stirring，ballocking，anddiabliculating，thatis，calumniating。Whereintheyarelikeuntothepoorroguesofavillagethatarebusyinstirringupandscrapingintheordureandfilthoflittlechildren，intheseasonofcherriesandguinds，andthatonlytofindthekernels，thattheymaysellthemtothedruggiststomakethereofpomanderoil。Flyfromthesemen，abhorandhatethemasmuchasIdo，anduponmyfaithyouwillfindyourselvesthebetterforit。AndifyoudesiretobegoodPantagruelists，thatistosay，toliveinpeace，joy，health，makingyourselvesalwaysmerry，nevertrustthosementhatalwayspeepoutatonehole。

EndofBookII。

BOOKIII。

THETHIRDBOOK

FrancoisRabelaistotheSouloftheDeceasedQueenofNavarre。

Abstractedsoul，ravishedwithecstasies，Goneback，andnowfamiliarintheskies，Thyformerhost，thybody，leavingquite，Whichtoobeytheealwaystookdelight，——

Obsequious，ready，——nowfrommotionfree，Senseless，andasitwereinapathy，Wouldstthounotissueforthforashortspace，Fromthatdivine，eternal，heavenlyplace，Toseethethirdpart，inthisearthycell，OfthebraveactsofgoodPantagruel？

TheAuthor\'sPrologue。

Goodpeople，mostillustriousdrinkers，andyou，thricepreciousgoutygentlemen，didyoueverseeDiogenes，andcynicphilosopher？Ifyouhaveseenhim，youthenhadyoureyesinyourhead，orIamverymuchoutofmyunderstandingandlogicalsense。Itisagallantthingtoseetheclearnessof(wine，gold，)thesun。I\'llbejudgedbytheblindbornsorenownedinthesacredScriptures，who，havingathischoicetoaskwhateverhewouldfromhimwhoisAlmighty，andwhosewordinaninstantiseffectuallyperformed，askednothingelsebutthathemightsee。Item，youarenotyoung，whichisacompetentqualityforyoutophilosophatemorethanphysicallyinwine，notinvain，andhenceforwardstobeoftheBacchicCouncil；totheendthat，opiningthere，youmaygiveyouropinionfaithfullyofthesubstance，colour，excellentodour，eminency，propriety，faculty，virtue，andeffectualdignityofthesaidblessedanddesiredliquor。

Ifyouhavenotseenhim，asIameasilyinducedtobelievethatyouhavenot，atleastyouhaveheardsometalkofhim。Forthroughtheair，andthewholeextentofthishemisphereoftheheavens，hathhisreportandfame，evenuntilthispresenttime，remainedverymemorableandrenowned。

ThenallofyouarederivedfromthePhrygianblood，ifIbenotdeceived。

IfyouhavenotsomanycrownsasMidashad，yethaveyousomething，Iknownotwhat，ofhim，whichthePersiansofoldesteemedmoreofinalltheirotacusts，andwhichwasmoredesiredbytheEmperorAntonine，andgaveoccasionthereaftertotheBasilicoatRohantobesurnamedGoodlyEars。

Ifyouhavenotheardofhim，Iwillpresentlytellyouastorytomakeyourwinerelish。Drinkthen，——so，tothepurpose。HearkennowwhilstI

giveyounotice，totheendthatyoumaynot，likeinfidels，bebyyoursimplicityabused，thatinhistimehewasararephilosopherandthecheerfullestofathousand。Ifhehadsomeimperfection，sohaveyou，sohavewe；forthereisnothing，butGod，thatisperfect。Yetsoitwas，thatbyAlexandertheGreat，althoughhehadAristotleforhisinstructoranddomestic，washeheldinsuchestimation，thathewished，ifhehadnotbeenAlexander，tohavebeenDiogenestheSinopian。

WhenPhilip，KingofMacedon，enterprisedthesiegeandruinofCorinth，theCorinthianshavingreceivedcertainintelligencebytheirspiesthathewithanumerousarmyinbattle-rankwascomingagainstthem，wereallofthem，notwithoutcause，mostterriblyafraid；andthereforewerenotneglectiveoftheirdutyindoingtheirbestendeavourstoputthemselvesinafitposturetoresisthishostileapproachanddefendtheirowncity。

Somefromthefieldsbroughtintothefortifiedplacestheirmovables，bestial，corn，wine，fruit，victuals，andothernecessaryprovision。

Othersdidfortifyandrampiretheirwalls，setuplittlefortresses，bastions，squaredravelins，diggedtrenches，cleansedcountermines，fencedthemselveswithgabions，contrivedplatforms，emptiedcasemates，barricadedthefalsebrays，erectedthecavaliers，repairedthecounterscarps，plasteredthecurtains，lengthenedravelins，stoppedparapets，morticedbarbacans，assuredtheportcullises，fastenedtheherses，sarasinesques，andcataracts，placedtheirsentries，anddoubledtheirpatrol。Everyonedidwatchandward，andnotonewasexemptedfromcarryingthebasket。

Somepolishedcorslets，varnishedbacksandbreasts，cleanedtheheadpieces，mail-coats，brigandines，salads，helmets，morions，jacks，gushets，gorgets，hoguines，brassars，andcuissars，corslets，haubergeons，shields，bucklers，targets，greaves，gauntlets，andspurs。Othersmadereadybows，slings，crossbows，pellets，catapults，migrainsorfire-balls，firebrands，balists，scorpions，andothersuchwarlikeenginesexpugnatoryanddestructivetotheHellepolides。Theysharpenedandpreparedspears，staves，pikes，brownbills，halberds，longhooks，lances，zagayes，quarterstaves，eelspears，partisans，troutstaves，clubs，battle-axes，maces，darts，dartlets，glaives，javelins，javelots，andtruncheons。Theysetedgesuponscimitars，cutlasses，badelairs，backswords，tucks，rapiers，bayonets，arrow-heads，dags，daggers，mandousians，poniards，whinyards，knives，skeans，shables，chippingknives，andraillons。

Everymanexercisedhisweapon，everymanscouredofftherustfromhisnaturalhanger；norwasthereawomanamongstthem，thoughneversoreservedorold，whomadenotherharnesstobewellfurbished；asyouknowtheCorinthianwomenofoldwerereputedverycourageouscombatants。

Diogenesseeingthemallsowarmatwork，andhimselfnotemployedbythemagistratesinanybusinesswhatsoever，hedidveryseriously，formanydaystogether，withoutspeakingoneword，considerandcontemplatethecountenanceofhisfellow-citizens。

Thenonasudden，asifhehadbeenrousedupandinspiredbyamartialspirit，hegirdedhiscloakscarfwiseabouthisleftarm，tuckeduphissleevestotheelbow，trussedhimselflikeaclowngatheringapples，and，givingtooneofhisoldacquaintancehiswallet，books，andopistographs，awaywentheoutoftowntowardsalittlehillorpromontoryofCorinthcalled(the)Cranie；andthereonthestrand，aprettylevelplace，didherollhisjollytub，whichservedhimforahousetoshelterhimfromtheinjuriesoftheweather:there，Isay，inagreatvehemencyofspirit，didheturnit，veerit，wheelit，whirlit，friskit，jumbleit，shuffleit，huddleit，tumbleit，hurryit，joltit，justleit，overthrowit，evertit，invertit，subvertit，overturnit，beatit，thwackit，bumpit，batterit，knockit，thrustit，pushit，jerkit，shockit，shakeit，tossit，throwit，overthrowit，upsidedown，topsy-turvy，arsiturvy，treadit，trampleit，stampit，tapit，tingit，ringit，tingleit，towlit，soundit，resoundit，stopit，shutit，unbungit，closeit，unstoppleit。Andthenagaininamightybustlehebandiedit，slubberedit，hackedit，whittledit，wayedit，dartedit，hurledit，staggeredit，reeledit，swingedit，brangledit，totteredit，liftedit，heavedit，transformedit，transfiguredit，transposedit，transplacedit，rearedit，raisedit，hoisedit，washedit，dightedit，cleansedit，rinsedit，nailedit，settledit，fastenedit，shackledit，fetteredit，levelledit，blockedit，tuggedit，tewedit，carriedit，bedashedit，bewrayedit，parchedit，mountedit，broachedit，nickedit，notchedit，bespatteredit，deckedit，adornedit，trimmedit，garnishedit，gaugedit，furnishedit，boredit，piercedit，trappedit，rumbledit，sliditdownthehill，andprecipitateditfromtheveryheightoftheCranie；thenfromthefoottothetop(likeanotherSisyphuswithhisstone)boreitupagain，andeverywaysobangeditandbelaboureditthatitwastenthousandtoonehehadnotstruckthebottomofitout。

Whichwhenoneofhisfriendshadseen，andaskedhimwhyhedidsotoilhisbody，perplexhisspirit，andtormenthistub，thephilosopher\'sanswerwasthat，notbeingemployedinanyotherchargebytheRepublic，hethoughtitexpedienttothunderandstormitsotempestuouslyuponhistub，thatamongstapeoplesoferventlybusyandearnestatworkhealonemightnotseemaloiteringslugandlazyfellow。TothesamepurposemayIsayofmyself，ThoughIberidfromfear，Iamnotvoidofcare。

For，perceivingnoaccounttobemadeofmetowardsthedischargeofatrustofanygreatconcernment，andconsideringthatthroughallthepartsofthisnoblekingdomofFrance，bothonthisandontheothersideofthemountains，everyoneismostdiligentlyexercisedandbusied，someinthefortifyingoftheirownnativecountryforitsdefence，othersintherepulsingoftheirenemiesbyanoffensivewar；andallthiswithapolicysoexcellentandsuchadmirableorder，somanifestlyprofitableforthefuture，wherebyFranceshallhaveitsfrontiersmostmagnificallyenlarged，andtheFrenchassuredofalongandwell-groundedpeace，thatverylittlewithholdsmefromtheopinionofgoodHeraclitus，whichaffirmethwartobethefatherofallgoodthings；andthereforedoIbelievethatwarisinLatincalledbellum，notbyantiphrasis，assomepatchersofoldrustyLatinwouldhaveustothink，becauseinwarthereislittlebeautytobeseen，butabsolutelyandsimply；forthatinwarappearethallthatisgoodandgraceful，andthatbythewarsispurgedoutallmannerofwickednessanddeformity。ForproofwhereofthewiseandpacificSolomoncouldnobetterrepresenttheunspeakableperfectionofthedivinewisdom，thanbycomparingittotheduedisposureandrankingofanarmyinbattlearray，wellprovidedandordered。

Therefore，byreasonofmyweaknessandinability，beingreputedbymycompatriotsunfitfortheoffensivepartofwarfare；andontheotherside，beingnowayemployedinmatterofthedefensive，althoughithadbeenbuttocarryburthens，fillditches，orbreakclods，eitherwhereofhadbeentomeindifferent，Ihelditnotalittledisgracefultobeonlyanidlespectatorofsomanyvalorous，eloquent，andwarlikepersons，whointheviewandsightofallEuropeactthisnotableinterludeortragi-comedy，andnotmakesomeefforttowardstheperformanceofthis，nothingatallremainsformetobedone(\'Andnotexertmyself，andcontributetheretothisnothing，myall，whichremainedformetodo。\'——Ozell。)。Inmyopinion，littlehonourisduetosuchasaremerelookers-on，liberaloftheireyes，andoftheircrowns，andhidetheirsilver；scratchingtheirheadwithonefingerlikegrumblingpuppies，gapingatthefliesliketithecalves；clappingdowntheirearslikeArcadianassesatthemelodyofmusicians，whowiththeirverycountenancesinthedepthofsilenceexpresstheirconsenttotheprosopopoeia。Havingmadethischoiceandelection，itseemedtomethatmyexercisethereinwouldbeneitherunprofitablenortroublesometoany，whilstIshouldthusseta-goingmyDiogenicaltub，whichisallthatisleftmesafefromtheshipwreckofmyformermisfortunes。

Atthisdingledanglewaggingofmytub，whatwouldyouhavemetodo？BytheVirginthattucksuphersleeve，Iknownotasyet。Stayalittle，tillIsuckupadraughtofthisbottle；itismytrueandonlyHelicon；itismyCaballinefountain；itismysoleenthusiasm。Drinkingthus，I

meditate，discourse，resolve，andconclude。Afterthattheepilogueismade，Ilaugh，Iwrite，Icompose，anddrinkagain。Enniusdrinkingwrote，andwritingdrank。Aeschylus，ifPlutarchinhisSymposiacsmeritanyfaith，drankcomposing，anddrinkingcomposed。Homerneverwrotefasting，andCatoneverwrotetillafterhehaddrunk。ThesepassagesIhavebroughtbeforeyoutotheendyoumaynotsaythatIlivedwithouttheexampleofmenwellpraisedandbetterprized。Itisgoodandfreshenough，evenasifyouwouldsayitisenteringupontheseconddegree。

God，thegoodGodSabaoth，thatistosay，theGodofarmies，bepraisedforiteternally！Ifyouafterthesamemannerwouldtakeonegreatdraught，ortwolittleones，whilstyouhaveyourgownaboutyou，Itrulyfindnokindofinconveniencyinit，providedyousenduptoGodforallsomesmallscantlingofthanks。

Sincethenmyluckordestinyissuchasyouhaveheard——foritisnotforeverybodytogotoCorinth——Iamfullyresolvedtobesolittleidleandunprofitable，thatIwillsetmyselftoservetheoneandtheothersortofpeople。Amongstthediggers，pioneers，andrampire-builders，IwilldoasdidNeptuneandApolloatTroyunderLaomedon，orasdidRenaultofMontaubaninhislatterdays:Iwillservethemasons，I\'llsetonthepottoboilforthebricklayers；and，whilstthemincedmeatismakingreadyatthesoundofmysmallpipe，I\'llmeasurethemuzzleofthemusingdotards。

ThusdidAmphionwiththemelodyofhisharpfound，build，andfinishthegreatandrenownedcityofThebes。

FortheuseofthewarriorsIamabouttobroachofnewmybarreltogivethemataste(whichbytwoformervolumesofmine，ifbythedeceitfulnessandfalsehoodofprinterstheyhadnotbeenjumbled，marred，andspoiled，youwouldhaveverywellrelished)，anddrawuntothem，ofthegrowthofourowntripperypastimes，agallantthirdpartofagallon，andconsequentlyajollycheerfulquartofPantagruelicsentences，whichyoumaylawfullycall，ifyouplease，Diogenical:andshallhaveme，seeingI

cannotbetheirfellow-soldier，fortheirfaithfulbutler，refreshingandcheering，accordingtomylittlepower，theirreturnfromthealarmsoftheenemy；asalsoforanindefatigableextolleroftheirmartialexploitsandgloriousachievements。Ishallnotfailtherein，parlapathiumacutumdedieu；ifMarsfailnotinLent，whichthecunninglecher，Iwarrantyou，willbelothtodo。

Irememberneverthelesstohaveread，thatPtolemy，thesonofLagus，oneday，amongstthemanyspoilsandbootieswhichbyhisvictorieshehadacquired，presentingtotheEgyptians，intheopenviewofthepeople，aBactriancamelallblack，andaparty-colouredslave，insuchsortasthattheonehalfofhisbodywasblackandtheotherwhite，notinpartitionofbreadthbythediaphragma，aswasthatwomanconsecratedtotheIndianVenuswhomtheTyaneanphilosopherdidseebetweentheriverHydaspesandMountCaucasus，butinaperpendiculardimensionofaltitude；whichwerethingsneverbeforethatseeninEgypt。Heexpectedbytheshowofthesenoveltiestowintheloveofthepeople。Butwhathappenedthereupon？Attheproductionofthecameltheywereallaffrighted，andoffendedatthesightoftheparty-colouredman——somescoffedathimasadetestablemonsterbroughtforthbytheerrorofnature；inaword，ofthehopewhichhehadtopleasetheseEgyptians，andbysuchmeanstoincreasetheaffectionwhichtheynaturallyborehim，hewasaltogetherfrustrateanddisappointed；understandingfullybytheirdeportmentsthattheytookmorepleasureanddelightinthingsthatwereproper，handsome，andperfect，thaninmisshapen，monstrous，andridiculouscreatures。Sincewhichtimehehadboththeslaveandthecamelinsuchdislike，thatveryshortlythereafter，eitherthroughnegligence，orforwantofordinarysustenance，theydidexchangetheirlifewithdeath。

Thisexampleputtethmeinasuspensebetweenhopeandfear，misdoubtingthat，forthecontentmentwhichIaimat，Iwillbutreapwhatshallbemostdistastefultome:mycakewillbedough，andformyVenusIshallhavebutsomedeformedpuppy:insteadofservingthem，Ishallbutvexthem，andoffendthemwhomIpurposetoexhilarate；resemblinginthisdubiousadventureEuclion\'scook，sorenownedbyPlautusinhisPot，andbyAusoniusinhisGriphon，andbydiversothers；whichcook，forhavingbyhisscrapingdiscoveredatreasure，hadhishidewellcurried。PutthecaseIgetnoangerbyit，thoughformerlysuchthingsfellout，andthelikemayoccuragain。Yet，byHercules！itwillnot。SoIperceiveinthemalloneandthesamespecificalform，andthelikeindividualproperties，whichourancestorscalledPantagruelism；byvirtuewhereoftheywillbearwithanythingthatflowethfromagood，free，andloyalheart。Ihaveseenthemordinarilytakegoodwillinpartofpayment，andremainsatisfiedtherewithwhenonewasnotabletodobetter。Havingdespatchedthispoint，Ireturntomybarrel。

Up，mylads，tothiswine，spareitnot！Drink，boys，andtrowlitoffatfullbowls！Ifyoudonotthinkitgood，letitalone。Iamnotlikethoseofficiousandimportunatesots，whobyforce，outrage，andviolence，constrainaneasygood-naturedfellowtowhiffle，quaff，carouse，andwhatisworse。Allhonesttipplers，allhonestgoutymen，allsuchasarea-

dry，comingtothislittlebarrelofmine，neednotdrinkthereofifitpleasethemnot；butiftheyhaveamindtoit，andthatthewineproveagreeabletothetastesoftheirworshipfulworships，letthemdrink，frankly，freely，andboldly，withoutpayinganything，andwelcome。Thisismydecree，mystatuteandordinance。

Andletnonefearthereshallbeanywantofwine，asatthemarriageofCanainGalilee；forhowmuchsoeveryoushalldrawforthatthefaucet，somuchshallItuninatthebung。Thusshallthebarrelremaininexhaustible；ithathalivelyspringandperpetualcurrent。SuchwasthebeveragecontainedwithinthecupofTantalus，whichwasfigurativelyrepresentedamongsttheBrachmansages。SuchwasinIberiathemountainofsaltsohighlywrittenofbyCato。Suchwasthebranchofgoldconsecratedtothesubterraneangoddess，whichVirgiltreatsofsosublimely。Itisatruecornucopiaofmerrimentandraillery。Ifatanytimeitseemtoyoutobeemptiedtotheverylees，yetshallitnotforallthatbedrawnwhollydry。Goodhoperemainsthereatthebottom，asinPandora\'sbottle；

andnotdespair，asinthepuncheonoftheDanaids。RemarkwellwhatI

havesaid，andwhatmannerofpeopletheybewhomIdoinvite；for，totheendthatnonebedeceived，I，inimitationofLucilius，whodidprotestthathewroteonlytohisownTarentinesandConsentines，havenotpiercedthisvesselforanyelsebutyouhonestmen，whoaredrinkersofthefirstedition，andgoutybladesofthehighestdegree。Thegreatdorophages，bribe-mongers，haveontheirhandsoccupationenough，andenoughonthehooksfortheirvenison。Theremaytheyfollowtheirprey；hereisnogarbageforthem。Youpettifoggers，garblers，andmastersofchicanery，speaknottome，Ibeseechyou，inthenameof，andforthereverenceyoubeartothefourhipsthatengenderedyouandtothequickeningpegwhichatthattimeconjoinedthem。Asforhypocrites，muchless；althoughtheywereallofthemunsoundinbody，pockified，scurvy，furnishedwithunquenchablethirstandinsatiableeating。(Andwherefore？)Becauseindeedtheyarenotofgoodbutofevil，andofthatevilfromwhichwedailypraytoGodtodeliverus。Andalbeitweseethemsometimescounterfeitdevotion，yetneverdidoldapemakeprettymoppet。Hence，mastiffs；dogsinadoublet，getyoubehind；aloof，villains，outofmysunshine；curs，tothedevil！Doyoujoghither，waggingyourtails，topantatmywine，andbepissmybarrel？Look，hereisthecudgelwhichDiogenes，inhislastwill，ordainedtobesetbyhimafterhisdeath，forbeatingaway，crushingthereins，andbreakingthebacksofthesebustuaryhobgoblinsandCerberianhellhounds。Packyouhence，therefore，youhypocrites，toyoursheep-dogs；getyougone，youdissemblers，tothedevil！Hay！What，areyouthereyet？IrenouncemypartofPapimanie，ifIsnatchyou，Grr，Grrr，Grrrrrr。Avaunt，avaunt！Willyounotbegone？

Mayyounevershittillyoubesoundlylashedwithstirrupleather，neverpissbutbythestrapado，norbeotherwisewarmedthanbythebastinado。

THETHIRDBOOK。

Chapter3。I。

HowPantagrueltransportedacolonyofUtopiansintoDipsody。

Pantagruel，havingwhollysubduedthelandofDipsody，transportedthereuntoacolonyofUtopians，tothenumberof9，876，543，210men，besidesthewomenandlittlechildren，artificersofalltrades，andprofessorsofallsciences，topeople，cultivate，andimprovethatcountry，whichotherwisewasillinhabited，andinthegreatestpartthereofbutameredesertandwilderness；anddidtransportthem(not)somuchfortheexcessivemultitudeofmenandwomen，whichwereinUtopiamultiplied，fornumber，likegrasshoppersuponthefaceoftheland。Youunderstandwellenough，norisitneedfulfurthertoexplainittoyou，thattheUtopianmenhadsorankandfruitfulgenitories，andthattheUtopianwomencarriedmatrixessoample，sogluttonous，sotenaciouslyretentive，andsoarchitectonicallycellulated，thatattheendofeveryninthmonthsevenchildrenattheleast，whatmalewhatfemale，werebroughtforthbyeverymarriedwoman，inimitationofthepeopleofIsraelinEgypt，ifAnthony(Nicholas)deLyrabetobetrusted。Noryetwasthistransplantationmadesomuchforthefertilityofthesoil，thewholesomenessoftheair，orcommodityofthecountryofDipsody，astoretainthatrebelliouspeoplewithintheboundsoftheirdutyandobedience，bythisnewtransportofhisancientandmostfaithfulsubjects，who，fromalltimeoutofmind，neverknew，acknowledged，owned，orservedanyothersovereignlordbuthim；andwholikewise，fromtheveryinstantoftheirbirth，assoonastheywereenteredintothisworld，had，withthemilkoftheirmothersandnurses，suckedinthesweetness，humanity，andmildnessofhisgovernment，towhichtheywereallofthemsonourishedandhabituated，thattherewasnothingsurerthanthattheywouldsoonerabandontheirlivesthanswervefromthissingularandprimitiveobediencenaturallyduetotheirprince，whithersoevertheyshouldbedispersedorremoved。

Andnotonlyshouldthey，andtheirchildrensuccessivelydescendingfromtheirblood，besuch，butalsowouldkeepandmaintaininthissamefealtyobsequiousobservanceallthenationslatelyannexedtohisempire；whichsotrulycametopassthatthereinhewasnotdisappointedofhisintent。

ForiftheUtopianswerebeforetheirtransplantationthitherdutifulandfaithfulsubjects，theDipsodes，aftersomefewdaysconversingwiththem，wereeverywhitas，ifnotmore，loyalthanthey；andthatbyvirtueofI

knownotwhatnaturalfervencyincidenttoallhumancreaturesatthebeginningofanylabourwhereintheytakedelight:solemnlyattestingtheheavensandsupremeintelligencesoftheirbeingonlysorrythatnosooneruntotheirknowledgehadarrivedthegreatrenownofthegoodPantagruel。

Remarkthereforehere，honestdrinkers，thatthemannerofpreservingandretainingcountriesnewlyconqueredinobedienceisnot，ashathbeentheerroneousopinionofsometyrannicalspiritstotheirowndetrimentanddishonour，topillage，plunder，force，spoil，trouble，oppress，vex，disquiet，ruinanddestroythepeople，ruling，governingandkeepingtheminawewithrodsofiron；and，inaword，eatinganddevouringthem，afterthefashionthatHomercallsanunjustandwickedking，(Greek)，thatistosay，adevourerofhispeople。

Iwillnotbringyoutothispurposethetestimonyofancientwriters。Itshallsufficetoputyouinmindofwhatyourfathershaveseenthereof，andyourselvestoo，ifyoubenotverybabes。Newborn，theymustbegivensuckto，rockedinacradle，anddandled。Treesnewlyplantedmustbesupported，underpropped，strengthenedanddefendedagainstalltempests，mischiefs，injuries，andcalamities。Andonelatelysavedfromalonganddangeroussickness，andnewuponhisrecovery，mustbeforborn，spared，andcherished，insuchsortthattheymayharbourintheirownbreaststhisopinion，thatthereisnotintheworldakingoraprincewhodoesnotdesirefewerenemiesandmorefriends。ThusOsiris，thegreatkingoftheEgyptians，conqueredalmostthewholeearth，notsomuchbyforceofarmsasbyeasingthepeopleoftheirtroubles，teachingthemhowtolivewell，andhonestlygivingthemgoodlaws，andusingthemwithallpossibleaffability，courtesy，gentleness，andliberality。ThereforewashebyallmendeservedlyentitledtheGreatKingEuergetes，thatistosay，Benefactor，whichstyleheobtainedbyvirtueofthecommandofJupiterto(one)Pamyla。

Andineffect，Hesiod，inhisHierarchy，placedthegooddemons(callthemangelsifyouwill，orgeniuses，)asintercessorsandmediatorsbetwixtthegodsandmen，theybeingofadegreeinferiortothegods，butsuperiortomen。Andforthatthroughtheirhandstherichesandbenefitswegetfromheavenaredealttous，andthattheyarecontinuallydoingusgoodandstillprotectingusfromevil，hesaiththattheyexercisetheofficesofkings；becausetodoalwaysgood，andneverill，isanactmostsingularlyroyal。

Justsuchanotherwastheemperoroftheuniverse，AlexandertheMacedonian。AfterthismannerwasHerculessovereignpossessorofthewholecontinent，relievingmenfrommonstrousoppressions，exactions，andtyrannies；governingthemwithdiscretion，maintainingtheminequityandjustice，instructingthemwithseasonablepoliciesandwholesomelaws，convenientforandsuitabletothesoil，climate，anddispositionofthecountry，supplyingwhatwaswanting，abatingwhatwassuperfluous，andpardoningallthatwaspast，withasempiternalforgetfulnessofallprecedingoffences，aswastheamnestyoftheAthenians，whenbytheprowess，valour，andindustryofThrasybulusbytyrantswereexterminated；

afterwardsatRomebyCiceroexposed，andrenewedundertheEmperorAurelian。Thesearethephiltres，allurements，iynges，inveiglements，baits，andenticementsoflove，bythemeanswhereofthatmaybepeaceablyrevivedwhichwaspainfullyacquired。Norcanaconquerorreignmorehappily，whetherhebeamonarch，emperor，king，prince，orphilosopher，thanbymakinghisjusticetosecondhisvalour。Hisvalourshowsitselfinvictoryandconquest；hisjusticewillappearinthegoodwillandaffectionofthepeople，whenhemakethlaws，publishethordinances，establishethreligion，anddothwhatisrighttoeveryone，asthenoblepoetVirgilwritesofOctavianAugustus:

VictorquevolentesPerpopulosdatjura。

ThereforeisitthatHomerinhisIliadscallethagoodprinceandgreatking(Greek)，thatis，theornamentofthepeople。

SuchwastheconsiderationofNumaPompilius，thesecondkingoftheRomans，ajustpoliticianandwisephilosopher，whenheordainedthattogodTerminus，onthedayofhisfestivalcalledTerminales，nothingshouldbesacrificedthathaddied；teachingustherebythatthebounds，limits，andfrontiersofkingdomsshouldbeguarded，andpreservedinpeace，amity，andmeekness，withoutpollutingourhandswithbloodandrobbery。Whodothotherwise，shallnotonlylosewhathehathgained，butalsobeloadedwiththisscandalandreproach，thatheisanunjustandwickedpurchaser，andhisacquestsperishwithhim；Juxtaillud，maleparta，maledilabuntur。

Andalthoughduringhiswholelifetimeheshouldhavepeaceablepossessionthereof，yetifwhathathbeensoacquiredmoulderawayinthehandsofhisheirs，thesameopprobry，scandal，andimputationwillbechargeduponthedefunct，andhismemoryremainaccursedforhisunjustandunwarrantableconquest；Juxtaillud，demalequaesitisvixgaudettertiushaeres。

Remark，likewise，gentlemen，yougoutyfeoffees，inthismainpointworthyofyourobservation，howbythesemeansPantagruelofoneangelmadetwo，whichwasacontingencyoppositetothecounselofCharlemagne，whomadetwodevilsofonewhenhetransplantedtheSaxonsintoFlandersandtheFlemingsintoSaxony。For，notbeingabletokeepinsuchsubjectiontheSaxons，whosedominionhehadjoinedtotheempire，butthateverandanontheywouldbreakforthintoopenrebellionifheshouldcasuallybedrawnintoSpainorotherremotekingdoms，hecausedthemtobebroughtuntohisowncountryofFlanders，theinhabitantswhereofdidnaturallyobeyhim，andtransportedtheHainaultsandFlemings，hisancientlovingsubjects，intoSaxony，notmistrustingtheirloyaltynowthattheyweretransplantedintoastrangeland。ButithappenedthattheSaxonspersistedintheirrebellionandprimitiveobstinacy，andtheFlemingsdwellinginSaxonydidimbibethestubbornmannersandconditionsoftheSaxons。

Chapter3。II。

HowPanurgewasmadeLairdofSalmigondininDipsody，anddidwastehisrevenuebeforeitcamein。

WhilstPantagruelwasgivingorderforthegovernmentofallDipsody，heassignedtoPanurgethelairdshipofSalmigondin，whichwasyearlyworth6，789，106，789realsofcertainrent，besidestheuncertainrevenueofthelocustsandperiwinkles，amounting，oneyearwithanother，tothevalueof435，768，or2，435，769FrenchcrownsofBerry。Sometimesitdidamountto1，230，554，321seraphs，whenitwasagoodyear，andthatlocustsandperiwinkleswereinrequest；butthatwasnoteveryyear。

Nowhisworship，thenewlaird，husbandedthishisestatesoprovidentlywellandprudently，thatinlessthanfourteendayshewastedanddilapidatedallthecertainanduncertainrevenueofhislairdshipforthreewholeyears。Yetdidnotheproperlydilapidateit，asyoumightsay，infoundingofmonasteries，buildingofchurches，erectingofcolleges，andsettingupofhospitals，orcastinghisbacon-flitchestothedogs；butspentitinathousandlittlebanquetsandjollycollations，keepingopenhouseforallcomersandgoers；yea，toallgoodfellows，younggirls，andprettywenches；fellingtimber，burninggreatlogsforthesaleoftheashes，borrowingmoneybeforehand，buyingdear，sellingcheap，andeatinghiscorn，asitwere，whilstitwasbutgrass。

Pantagruel，beingadvertisedofthishislavishness，wasingoodsoothnowayoffendedatthematter，angrynorsorry；forIoncetoldyou，andagaintellityou，thathewasthebest，little，greatgoodmanthatevergirdedaswordtohisside。Hetookallthingsingoodpart，andinterpretedeveryactiontothebestsense。Henevervexednordisquietedhimselfwiththeleastpretenceofdisliketoanything，becauseheknewthathemusthavemostgrosslyabandonedthedivinemansionofreasonifhehadpermittedhismindtobeneversolittlegrieved，afflicted，oralteredatanyoccasionwhatsoever。Forallthegoodsthattheheavencovereth，andthattheearthcontaineth，inalltheirdimensionsofheight，depth，breadth，andlength，arenotofsomuchworthasthatweshouldforthemdisturbordisorderouraffections，troubleorperplexoursensesorspirits。

HedrewonlyPanurgeaside，andthen，makingtohimasweetremonstranceandmildadmonition，verygentlyrepresentedbeforehiminstrongarguments，that，ifheshouldcontinueinsuchanunthriftycourseofliving，andnotbecomeabettermesnagier，itwouldprovealtogetherimpossibleforhim，oratleasthugelydifficult，atanytimetomakehimrich。Rich！answeredPanurge；haveyoufixedyourthoughtsthere？Haveyouundertakenthetasktoenrichmeinthisworld？Setyourmindtolivemerrily，inthenameofGodandgoodfolks；letnoothercarknorcarebeharbouredwithinthesacrosanctifieddomicileofyourcelestialbrain。Maythecalmnessandtranquillitythereofbeneverincommodatedwith，orovershadowedbyanyfrowningcloudsofsullenimaginationsanddispleasingannoyance！Forifyoulivejoyful，merry，jocund，andglad，Icannotbebutrichenough。Everybodycriesupthrift，thrift，andgoodhusbandry。

ButmanyspeakofRobinHoodthatnevershotinhisbow，andtalkofthatvirtueofmesnagerywhoknownotwhatbelongstoit。Itisbymethattheymustbeadvised。Fromme，therefore，takethisadvertisementandinformation，thatwhatisimputedtomeforavicehathbeendoneinimitationoftheuniversityandparliamentofParis，placesinwhichistobefoundthetruespringandsourceofthelivelyideaofPantheologyandallmannerofjustice。Lethimbecountedahereticthatdoubteththereof，anddothnotfirmlybelieveit。Yettheyinonedayeatuptheirbishop，ortherevenueofthebishopric——isitnotallone？——forawholeyear，yea，sometimesfortwo。Thisisdoneonthedayhemakeshisentry，andisinstalled。Noristhereanyplaceforanexcuse；forhecannotavoidit，unlesshewouldbehootedatandstonedforhisparsimony。

Ithathbeenalsoesteemedanactflowingfromthehabitofthefourcardinalvirtues。Ofprudenceinborrowingmoneybeforehand；fornoneknowswhatmayfallout。Whoisabletotelliftheworldshalllastyetthreeyears？Butalthoughitshouldcontinuelonger，isthereanymansofoolishastohavetheconfidencetopromisehimselfthreeyears？

Whatfoolsoconfidenttosay，Thatheshallliveoneotherday？

Ofcommutativejustice，inbuyingdear，Isay，upontrust，andsellinggoodscheap，thatis，forreadymoney。WhatsaysCatoinhisBodyofHusbandrytothispurpose？Thefatherofafamily，sayshe，mustbeaperpetualseller；bywhichmeansitisimpossiblebutthatatlastheshallbecomerich，ifhehaveofvendiblewareenoughstillreadyforsale。

Ofdistributivejusticeitdothpartake，ingivingentertainmenttogood——

remark，good——andgentlefellows，whomfortunehadshipwrecked，likeUlysses，upontherockofahungrystomachwithoutprovisionofsustenance；

andlikewisetothegood——remark，thegood——andyoungwenches。For，accordingtothesentenceofHippocrates，Youthisimpatientofhunger，chieflyifitbevigorous，lively，frolic，brisk，stirring，andbouncing。

Whichwantonlasseswillinglyandheartilydevotethemselvestothepleasureofhonestmen；andareinsofarbothPlatonicandCiceronian，thattheydoacknowledgetheirbeingbornintothisworldnottobeforthemselvesalone，butthatintheirproperpersonstheiracquaintancemayclaimoneshare，andtheirfriendsanother。

Thevirtueoffortitudeappearsthereinbythecuttingdownandoverthrowingofthegreattrees，likeasecondMilomakinghavocofthedarkforest，whichdidserveonlytofurnishdens，caves，andsheltertowolves，wildboars，andfoxes，andaffordreceptacles，withdrawingcorners，andrefugestorobbers，thieves，andmurderers，lurkingholesandskulkingplacesforcutthroatassassinators，secretobscureshopsforcoinersoffalsemoney，andsaferetreatsforheretics，layingthemevenandlevelwiththeplainchampaignfieldsandpleasantheathyground，atthesoundofthehautboysandbagpipesplayingreekswiththehighandstatelytimber，andpreparingseatsandbenchesfortheeveofthedreadfuldayofjudgment。

Igavetherebyproofofmytemperanceineatingmycornwhilstitwasbutgrass，likeahermitfeedinguponsaladsandroots，that，soaffranchisingmyselffromtheyokeofsensualappetitestotheutterdisclaimingoftheirsovereignty，Imightthebetterreservesomewhatinstoreforthereliefofthelame，blind，crippled，maimed，needy，poor，andwantingwretches。

IntakingthiscourseIsavetheexpenseoftheweed-grubbers，whogainmoney，——ofthereapersinharvest-time，whodrinklustily，andwithoutwater，——ofgleaners，whowillexpecttheircakesandbannocks，——ofthreshers，wholeavenogarlic，scallions，leeks，noronionsinourgardens，bytheauthorityofThestilisinVirgil，——andofthemillers，whoaregenerallythieves，——andofthebakers，whoarelittlebetter。Isthissmallsavingorfrugality？Besidesthemischiefanddamageofthefield-

mice，thedecayofbarns，andthedestructionusuallymadebyweaselsandothervermin。

Ofcorninthebladeyoumaymakegoodgreensauceofalightconcoctionandeasydigestion，whichrecreatesthebrainandexhilaratestheanimalspirits，rejoiceththesight，openeththeappetite，delighteththetaste，comforteththeheart，tickleththetongue，cheereththecountenance，strikingafreshandlivelycolour，strengtheningthemuscles，temperstheblood，disburdensthemidriff，refresheththeliver，disobstructsthespleen，easeththekidneys，suppleththereins，quickensthejointsoftheback，cleanseththeurine-conduits，dilatesthespermaticvessels，shortensthecremasters，purgeththebladder，puffethupthegenitories，correcteththeprepuce，hardensthenut，andrectifiesthemember。Itwillmakeyouhaveacurrentbellytotrot，fart，dung，piss，sneeze，cough，spit，belch，spew，yawn，snuff，blow，breathe，snort，sweat，andsettautyourRobin，withathousandotherrareadvantages。Iunderstandyouverywell，saysPantagruel；youwouldtherebyinferthatthoseofameanspiritandshallowcapacityhavenottheskilltospendmuchinashorttime。Youarenotthefirstinwhoseconceitthatheresyhathentered。Neromaintainedit，andaboveallmortalsadmiredmosthisuncleCaiusCaligula，forhavinginafewdays，byamostwonderfullypregnantinvention，totallyspentallthegoodsandpatrimonywhichTiberiushadlefthim。

But，insteadofobservingthesumptuoussupper-curbinglawsoftheRomans——

towit，theOrchia，theFannia，theDidia，theLicinia，theCornelia，theLepidiana，theAntia，andoftheCorinthians——bythewhichtheywereinhibited，underpainofgreatpunishment，nottospendmoreinoneyearthantheirannualrevenuedidamountto，youhaveoffereduptheoblationofProtervia，whichwaswiththeRomanssuchasacrificeasthepaschallambwasamongsttheJews，whereinallthatwaseatablewastobeeaten，andtheremaindertobethrownintothefire，withoutreservinganythingforthenextday。Imayveryjustlysayofyou，asCatodidofAlbidius，whoafterthathehadbyamostextravagantexpensewastedallthemeansandpossessionshehadtooneonlyhouse，hefairlysetitonfire，thathemightthebettersay，Consummatumest。EvenjustassincehistimeSt。

ThomasAquinasdid，whenhehadeatenupthewholelamprey，althoughtherewasnonecessityinit。

Chapter3。III。

HowPanurgepraiseththedebtorsandborrowers。

But，quothPantagruel，whenwillyoubeoutofdebt？AtthenextensuingtermoftheGreekkalends，answeredPanurge，whenalltheworldshallbecontent，andthatitbeyourfatetobecomeyourownheir。TheLordforbidthatIshouldbeoutofdebt，asif，indeed，Icouldnotbetrusted。Wholeavesnotsomeleavenovernight，willhardlyhavepastethenextmorning。

Bestillindebtedtosomebodyorother，thattheremaybesomebodyalwaystoprayforyou，thatthegiverofallgoodthingsmaygrantuntoyouablessed，long，andprosperouslife；fearing，iffortuneshoulddealcrosslywithyou，thatitmightbehischancetocomeshortofbeingpaidbyyou，hewillalwaysspeakgoodofyouineverycompany，everandanonpurchasenewcreditorsuntoyou；totheend，thatthroughtheirmeansyoumaymakeashiftbyborrowingfromPetertopayPaul，andwithotherfolk\'searthfilluphisditch。Whenofold，intheregionoftheGauls，bytheinstitutionoftheDruids，andservants，slaves，andbondmenwereburntquickatthefuneralsandobsequiesoftheirlordsandmasters，hadnottheyfearenough，thinkyou，thattheirlordsandmastersshoulddie？For，perforce，theyweretodiewiththemforcompany。DidnottheyincessantlysenduptheirsupplicationstotheirgreatgodMercury，aslikewiseuntoDis，thefatherofwealth，tolengthenouttheirdays，andtopreservethemlonginhealth？Werenottheyverycarefultoentertainthemwell，punctuallytolookuntothem，andtoattendthemfaithfullyandcircumspectly？Forbythosemeansweretheytolivetogetheratleastuntilthehourofdeath。

Believeme，yourcreditorswithamoreferventdevotionwillbeseechAlmightyGodtoprolongyourlife，theybeingofnothingmoreafraidthanthatyoushoulddie；forthattheyaremoreconcernedforthesleevethanthearm，andlovesilverbetterthantheirownlives。AsitevidentlyappearethbytheusurersofLanderousse，whonotlongsincehangedthemselvesbecausethepriceofthecornandwineswasfallenbythereturnofagraciousseason。TothisPantagruelansweringnothing，Panurgewentoninhisdiscourse，saying，Trulyandingoodsooth，sir，whenIpondermydestinyaright，andthinkwelluponit，youputmeshrewdlytomyplunges，andhavemeatabayintwittingmewiththereproachofmydebtsandcreditors。AndyetdidI，inthisonlyrespectandconsiderationofbeingadebtor，esteemmyselfworshipful，reverend，andformidable。Foragainsttheopinionofmostphilosophers，thatofnothingarisethnothing，yet，withouthavingbottomedonsomuchasthatwhichiscalledtheFirstMatter，didIoutofnothingbecomesuch(a)makerandcreator，thatIhavecreated——what？——agaynumberoffairandjollycreditors。Nay，creditors，Iwillmaintainit，eventotheveryfireitselfexclusively，arefairandgoodlycreatures。Wholendethnothingisanuglyandwickedcreature，andanaccursedimpoftheinfernalOldNick。Andthereismade——what？Debts。

Athingmostpreciousanddainty，ofgreatuseandantiquity。Debts，I

say，surmountingthenumberofsyllableswhichmayresultfromthecombinationsofalltheconsonants，witheachofthevowelsheretoforeprojected，reckoned，andcalculatedbythenobleXenocrates。Tojudgeoftheperfectionofdebtorsbythenumerosityoftheircreditorsisthereadiestwayforenteringintothemysteriesofpracticalarithmetic。

YoucanhardlyimaginehowgladIam，wheneverymorningIperceivemyselfenvironedandsurroundedwithbrigadesofcreditors——humble，fawning，andfulloftheirreverences。AndwhilstIremarkthat，asIlookmorefavourablyuponandgiveacheerfullercountenancetoonethantoanother，thefellowthereuponbuildethaconceitthatheshallbethefirstdespatchedandtheforemostinthedateofpayment，andhevaluethmysmilesattherateofreadymoney，itseemethuntomethatIthenactandpersonatethegodofthepassionofSaumure，accompaniedwithhisangelsandcherubims。

Thesearemyflatterers，mysoothers，myclawbacks，mysmoothers，myparasites，mysaluters，mygiversofgood-morrows，andperpetualorators；

whichmakesmeverilythinkthatthesupremestheightofheroicvirtuedescribedbyHesiodconsistethinbeingadebtor，whereinIheldthefirstdegreeinmycommencement。Whichdignity，thoughallhumancreaturesseemtoaimatandaspirethereto，fewnevertheless，becauseofthedifficultiesinthewayandencumbrancesofhardpassages，areabletoreachit，asiseasilyperceivablebytheardentdesireandvehementlongingharbouredinthebreastofeveryonetobestillcreatingmoredebtsandnewcreditors。

Yetdothitnotlieinthepowerofeveryonetobeadebtor。Toacquirecreditorsisnotatthedisposureofeachman\'sarbitrament。Youneverthelesswoulddeprivemeofthissublimefelicity。YouaskmewhenI

willbeoutofdebt。Well，togoyetfurtheron，andpossiblyworseinyourconceit，maySaintBablin，thegoodsaint，snatchme，ifIhavenotallmylifetimehelddebttobeasaunionorconjunctionoftheheavenswiththeearth，andthewholecementwherebytheraceofmankindiskepttogether；yea，ofsuchvirtueandefficacythat，Isay，thewholeprogenyofAdamwouldverysuddenlyperishwithoutit。Therefore，perhaps，Idonotthinkamiss，whenIreputeittobethegreatsouloftheuniverse，which，accordingtotheopinionoftheAcademics，vivifiethallmannerofthings。Inconfirmationwhereof，thatyoumaythebetterbelieveittobeso，representuntoyourself，withoutanyprejudicacyofspirit，inaclearandserenefancy，theideaandformofsomeotherworldthanthis；take，ifyouplease，andlayholdonthethirtiethofthosewhichthephilosopherMetrodorusdidenumerate，whereinitistobesupposedthereisnodebtororcreditor，thatistosay，aworldwithoutdebts。

Thereamongsttheplanetswillbenoregularcourse，allwillbeindisorder。Jupiter，reckoninghimselftobenothingindebteduntoSaturn，willgoneartodetrudehimoutofhissphere，andwiththeHomericchainwillbeliketohanguptheintelligences，gods，heavens，demons，heroes，devils，earthandsea，togetherwiththeotherelements。Saturn，nodoubt，combiningwithMarswillreducethatsodisturbedworldintoachaosofconfusion。

Mercurythenwouldbenomoresubjectedtotheotherplanets；hewouldscorntobeanylongertheirCamillus，ashewasofoldtermedintheEtruriantongue。Foritistobeimaginedthatheisnowayadebtortothem。

Venuswillbenomorevenerable，becausesheshallhavelentnothing。Themoonwillremainbloodyandobscure。Fortowhatendshouldthesunimpartuntoheranyofhislight？Heowedhernothing。Noryetwillthesunshineupontheearth，northestarssenddownanygoodinfluence，becausetheterrestrialglobehathdesistedfromsendinguptheirwontednourishmentbyvapoursandexhalations，wherewithHeraclitussaid，theStoicsproved，Ciceromaintained，theywerecherishedandalimented。Therewouldlikewisebeinsuchaworldnomannerofsymbolization，alteration，nortransmutationamongsttheelements；fortheonewillnotesteemitselfobligedtotheother，ashavingborrowednothingatallfromit。Earththenwillnotbecomewater，waterwillnotbechangedintoair，ofairwillbemadenofire，andfirewillaffordnoheatuntotheearth；theearthwillproducenothingbutmonsters，Titans，giants；norainwilldescenduponit，norlightshinethereon；nowindwillblowthere，norwilltherebeinitanysummerorharvest。Luciferwillbreakloose，andissuingforthofthedepthofhell，accompaniedwithhisfuries，fiends，andhorneddevils，willgoabouttounnestleanddriveoutofheavenallthegods，aswellofthegreaterasofthelessernations。Suchaworldwithoutlendingwillbenobetterthanadog-kennel，aplaceofcontentionandwrangling，moreunrulyandirregularthanthatoftherectorofParis；adevilofanhurlyburly，andmoredisorderedconfusionthanthatoftheplaguesofDouay。Menwillnotthensaluteoneanother；itwillbebutlostlabourtoexpectaidorsuccourfromany，ortocryfire，water，murder，fornonewillputtotheirhelpinghand。Why？Helentnomoney，thereisnothingduetohim。Nobodyisconcernedinhisburning，inhisshipwreck，inhisruin，orinhisdeath；andthatbecausehehithertohadlentnothing，andwouldneverthereafterhavelentanything。Inshort，Faith，Hope，andCharitywouldbequitebanishedfromsuchaworld——formenareborntorelieveandassistoneanother；andintheirsteadshouldsucceedandbeintroducedDefiance，Disdain，andRancour，withthemostexecrabletroopofallevils，allimprecations，andallmiseries。Whereuponyouwillthink，andthatnotamiss，thatPandorahadtherespiltherunluckybottle。Menuntomenwillbewolves，hobthrushers，andgoblins(aswereLycaon，Bellerophon，Nebuchodonosor)，plunderers，highwayrobbers，cutthroats，rapparees，murderers，poisoners，assassinators，lewd，wicked，malevolent，pernicioushaters，setagainsteverybody，liketoIshmael，Metabus，orTimontheAthenian，whoforthatcausewasnamedMisanthropos，insuchshortthatitwouldprovemuchmoreeasyinnaturetohavefishentertainedintheairandbullocksfedinthebottomoftheocean，thantosupportortoleratearascallyrabbleofpeoplethatwillnotlend。Thesefellows，I

vow，doIhatewithaperfecthatred；andif，conformtothepatternofthisgrievous，peevish，andperverseworldwhichlendethnothing，youfigureandlikenthelittleworld，whichisman，youwillfindinhimaterriblejustlingcoilandclutter。Theheadwillnotlendthesightofhiseyestoguidethefeetandhands；thelegswillrefusetobearupthebody；thehandswillleaveoffworkinganymorefortherestofthemembers；theheartwillbewearyofitscontinualmotionforthebeatingofthepulse，andwillnolongerlendhisassistance；thelungswillwithdrawtheuseoftheirbellows；theliverwilldesistfromconvoyinganymorebloodthroughtheveinsforthegoodofthewhole；thebladderwillnotbeindebtedtothekidneys，sothattheurinetherebywillbetotallystopped。

Thebrains，intheinterim，consideringthisunnaturalcourse，willfallintoaravingdotage，andwithholdallfeelingfromthesinewsandmotionfromthemuscles。Briefly，insuchaworldwithoutorderandarray，owingnothing，lendingnothing，andborrowingnothing，youwouldseeamoredangerousconspirationthanthatwhichAesopexposedinhisApologue。Suchaworldwillperishundoubtedly；andnotonlyperish，butperishveryquickly。WereitAesculapiushimself，hisbodywouldimmediatelyrot，andthechafingsoul，fullofindignation，takeitsflighttoallthedevilsofhellaftermymoney。

Chapter3。IV。

Panurgecontinuethhisdiscourseinthepraiseofborrowersandlenders。

Onthecontrary，bepleasedtorepresentuntoyourfancyanotherworld，whereineveryonelendethandeveryoneoweth，allaredebtorsandallcreditors。Ohowgreatwillthatharmonybe，whichshalltherebyresultfromtheregularmotionsoftheheavens！MethinksIheariteverywhitaswellaseverPlatodid。Whatsympathywilltherebeamongsttheelements！

Ohowdelectablethenuntonaturewillbeourownworksandproductions！

WhilstCeresappearethladenwithcorn，Bacchuswithwines，Florawithflowers，Pomonawithfruits，andJunofairinaclearair，wholesomeandpleasant。Ilosemyselfinthishighcontemplation。

Thenwillamongtheraceofmankindpeace，love，benevolence，fidelity，tranquillity，rest，banquets，feastings，joy，gladness，gold，silver，singlemoney，chains，rings，withotherwareandchafferofthatnaturebefoundtotrotfromhandtohand。Nosuitsatlaw，nowars，nostrife，debate，norwrangling；nonewillbethereausurer，nonewillbethereapinch-penny，ascrape-goodwretch，orchurlishhard-heartedrefuser。GoodGod！WillnotthisbethegoldenageinthereignofSaturn？thetrueideaoftheOlympicregions，whereinall(other)virtuescease，charityaloneruleth，governeth，domineereth，andtriumpheth？Allwillbefairandgoodlypeoplethere，alljustandvirtuous。

Ohappyworld！Opeopleofthatworldmosthappy！Yea，thriceandfourtimesblessedisthatpeople！IthinkinverydeedthatIamamongstthem，andsweartoyou，bymygoodforsooth，thatifthisgloriousaforesaidworldhadapope，aboundingwithcardinals，thatsohemighthavetheassociationofasacredcollege，inthespaceofveryfewyearsyoushouldbesuretoseethesaintsmuchthickerintheroll，morenumerous，wonder-

workingandmirific，moreservices，morevows，morestavesandwax-candlesthanareallthoseintheninebishopricsofBritany，St。Yvesonlyexcepted。Consider，sir，Iprayyou，howthenoblePatelin，havingamindtodeifyandextoleventothethirdheavensthefatherofWilliamJosseaulme，saidnomorebutthis，Andhedidlendhisgoodstothosewhoweredesirousofthem。

Othefinesaying！Nowletourmicrocosmbefanciedconformtothismodelinallitsmembers；lending，borrowing，andowing，thatistosay，accordingtoitsownnature。Fornaturehathnottoanyotherendcreatedman，buttoowe，borrow，andlend；nogreateristheharmonyamongsttheheavenlyspheresthanthatwhichshallbefoundinitswell-orderedpolicy。

Theintentionofthefounderofthismicrocosmis，tohaveasoulthereintobeentertained，whichislodgedthere，asaguestwithitshost，(that)

itmaylivethereforawhile。Lifeconsistethinblood，bloodistheseatofthesoul；thereforethechiefestworkofthemicrocosmis，tobemakingbloodcontinually。

Atthisforgeareexercisedallthemembersofthebody；noneisexemptedfromlabour，eachoperatesapart，anddothitsproperoffice。Andsuchistheirheirarchy，thatperpetuallytheoneborrowsfromtheother，theonelendstheother，andtheoneistheother\'sdebtor。Thestuffandmatterconvenient，whichnaturegivethtobeturnedintoblood，isbreadandwine。

Allkindofnourishingvictualsisunderstoodtobecomprehendedinthesetwo，andfromhenceintheGothishtongueiscalledcompanage。Tofindoutthismeatanddrink，toprepareandboilit，thehandsareputtowork，thefeetdowalkandbearupthewholebulkofthecorporalmass；theeyesguideandconductall；theappetiteintheorificeofthestomach，bymeansof(a)littlesourishblackhumour，calledmelancholy，whichistransmittedtheretofromthemilt，givethwarningtoshutinthefood。Thetonguedothmakethefirstessay，andtastesit；theteethdochewit，andthestomachdothreceive，digest，andchylifyit。Themesaraicveinssuckoutofitwhatisgoodandfit，leavingbehindtheexcrements，whichare，throughspecialconduitsforthatpurpose，voidedbyanexpulsivefaculty。

Thereafteritiscarriedtotheliver，whereitbeingchangedagain，itbythevirtueofthatnewtransmutationbecomesblood。Whatjoy，conjectureyou，willthenbefoundamongstthoseofficerswhentheyseethisrivuletofgold，whichistheirsolerestorative？Nogreateristhejoyofalchemists，whenafterlongtravail，toil，andexpensetheyseeintheirfurnacesthetransmutation。Thenisitthateverymemberdothprepareitself，andstriveanewtopurifyandtorefinethistreasure。Thekidneysthroughtheemulgentveinsdrawthataquosityfromthencewhichyoucallurine，andtheresenditawaythroughtheureterstobeslippeddownwards；

where，inalowerreceptacle，andproperforit，towit，thebladder，itiskept，andstayeththereuntilanopportunitytovoiditoutinhisduetime。Thespleendrawethfromtheblooditsterrestrialpart，viz。，thegrounds，lees，orthicksubstancesettledinthebottomthereof，whichyoutermmelancholy。Thebottleofthegallsubtractsfromthenceallthesuperfluouscholer；whenceitisbroughttoanothershoporwork-housetobeyetbetterpurifiedandfined，thatis，theheart，whichbyitsagitationofdiastolicandsystolicmotionssoneatlysubtilizethandinflamesit，thatintherightsideventricleitisbroughttoperfection，andthroughtheveinsissenttoallthemembers。Eachparcelofthebodydrawsitthenuntoitself，andafteritsownfashionischerishedandalimentedbyit。Feet，hands，thighs，arms，eyes，ears，back，breast，yea，all；andthenitis，thatwhobeforewerelenders，nowbecomedebtors。Theheartdothinitsleftsideventriclesothinnifytheblood，thatittherebyobtainsthenameofspiritual；whichbeingsentthroughthearteriestoallthemembersofthebody，servethtowarmandwinnowtheotherbloodwhichrunneththroughtheveins。Thelightsneverceasewithitslappetsandbellowstocoolandrefreshit，inacknowledgmentofwhichgoodtheheart，throughthearterialvein，impartsuntoitthechoicestofitsblood。Atlastitismadesofineandsubtlewithintheretemirabile，thatthereafterthoseanimalspiritsareframedandcomposedofit，bymeanswhereoftheimagination，discourse，judgment，resolution，deliberation，ratiocination，andmemoryhavetheirrise，actings，andoperations。

Copsbody，Isink，Idrown，Iperish，Iwanderastray，andquiteflyoutofmyselfwhenIenterintotheconsiderationoftheprofoundabyssofthisworld，thuslending，thusowing。Believeme，itisadivinethingtolend，——toowe，anheroicvirtue。Yetisnotthisall。Thislittleworldthuslending，owing，andborrowing，issogoodandcharitable，thatnosooneristheabove-specifiedalimentationfinished，butthatitforthwithprojecteth，andhathalreadyforecast，howitshalllendtothosewhoarenotasyetborn，andbythatloanendeavourwhatitmaytoeternizeitself，andmultiplyinimageslikethepattern，thatis，children。Tothisendeverymemberdothofthechoicestandmostpreciousofitsnourishmentpareandcutoffaportion，theninstantlydespatchethitdownwardstothatplacewherenaturehathpreparedforitveryfitvesselsandreceptacles，throughwhichdescendingtothegenitoriesbylongambages，circuits，andflexuosities，itreceivethacompetentform，androomsaptenoughbothinmanandwomanforthefutureconservationandperpetuatingofhumankind。

Allthisisdonebyloansanddebtsoftheoneuntotheother；andhencehavewethisword，thedebtofmarriage。Naturedothreckonpaintotherefuser，withamostgrievousvexationtohismembersandanoutrageousfuryamidsthissenses。But，ontheotherpart，tothelenderasetreward，accompaniedwithpleasure，joy，solace，mirth，andmerryglee。

Chapter3。V。

HowPantagruelaltogetherabhorreththedebtorsandborrowers。

Iunderstandyouverywell，quothPantagruel，andtakeyoutobeverygoodattopics，andthoroughlyaffectionedtoyourowncause。Butpreachitup，andpatrocinateit，prattleonit，anddefenditasmuchasyouwill，evenfromhencetothenextWhitsuntide，ifyoupleasesotodo，yetintheendyouwillbeastonishedtofindhowyoushallhavegainednogroundatalluponme，norpersuadedmebyyourfairspeechesandsmoothtalktoenterneversolittleintothethraldomofdebt。Youshallowetonone，saiththeholyApostle，anythingsavelove，friendship，andamutualbenevolence。

Youservemehere，Iconfess，withfinegraphidesanddiatyposes，descriptionsandfigures，whichtrulypleasemeverywell。Butletmetellyou，ifyouwillrepresentuntoyourfancyanimpudentblusteringbullyandanimportunateborrower，enteringafreshandnewlyintoatownalreadyadvertisedofhismanners，youshallfindthatathisingressthecitizenswillbemorehideouslyaffrightedandamazed，andinagreaterterrorandfear，dread，andtrembling，thanifthepestitselfshouldstepintoitintheverysamegarbandaccoutrementwhereintheTyaneanphilosopherfounditwithinthecityofEphesus。AndIamfullyconfirmedintheopinion，thatthePersianserrednotwhentheysaidthatthesecondvicewastolie，thefirstbeingthatofowingmoney。For，inverytruth，debtsandlyingareordinarilyjoinedtogether。Iwillneverthelessnotfromhenceinferthatnonemustoweanythingorlendanything。Forwhosorichcanbethatsometimesmaynotowe，orwhocanbesopoorthatsometimesmaynotlend？

Lettheoccasion，notwithstanding，inthatcase，asPlatoverywiselysayethandordainethinhislaws，besuchthatnonebepermittedtodrawanywateroutofhisneighbour\'swelluntilfirsttheybycontinualdigginganddelvingintotheirownpropergroundshallhavehituponakindofpotter\'searth，whichiscalledceramite，andtherehadfoundnosourceordropofwater；forthatsortofearth，byreasonofitssubstance，whichisfat，strong，firm，andclose，soretainethitshumidity，thatitdothnoteasilyevaporateitbyanyoutwardexcursionorevaporation。

Ingoodsooth，itisagreatshametochooserathertobestillborrowinginallplacesfromeveryone，thantoworkandwin。Thenonlyinmyjudgmentshouldonelend，whenthediligent，toiling，andindustriouspersonisnolongerablebyhislabourtomakeanypurchaseuntohimself，orotherwise，whenbymischancehehathsuddenlyfallenintoanunexpectedlossofhisgoods。

Howsoever，letusleavethisdiscourse，andfromhenceforwardsdonothanguponcreditors，nortieyourselftothem。Imakeaccountforthetimepasttoridyoufreelyofthem，andfromtheirbondagetodeliveryou。TheleastIshouldinthispoint，quothPanurge，istothankyou，thoughitbethemostIcando。Andifgratitudeandthanksgivingbetobeestimatedandprizedbytheaffectionofthebenefactor，thatistobedoneinfinitelyandsempiternally；forthelovewhichyoubearmeofyourownaccordandfreegrace，withoutanymeritofmine，goethfarbeyondthereachofanypriceorvalue。Ittranscendsallweight，allnumber，allmeasure；itisendlessandeverlasting；therefore，shouldIoffertocommensurateandadjustit，eithertothesizeandproportionofyourownnobleandgraciousdeeds，oryettothecontentmentanddelightoftheobligedreceivers，Iwouldcomeoffbutveryfaintlyandflaggingly。Youhaveverilydonemeagreatdealofgood，andmultipliedyourfavoursonmemorefrequentlythanwasfittingtooneofmycondition。YouhavebeenmorebountifultowardsmethanIhavedeserved，andyourcourtesieshavebyfarsurpassedtheextentofmymerits，Imustneedsconfessit。Butitisnot，asyousuppose，intheproposedmatter。ForthereitisnotwhereI

itch，itisnottherewhereitfretteth，hurts，orvexethme；for，henceforthbeingquitandoutofdebt，whatcountenancewillIbeabletokeep？Youmayimaginethatitwillbecomemeveryillforthefirstmonth，becauseIhaveneverhithertobeenbroughtuporaccustomedtoit。Iamverymuchafraidofit。Furthermore，thereshallnotonehereafter，nativeofthecountryofSalmigondy，butheshallleveltheshottowardsmynose。

Alltheback-crackingfellowsoftheworld，indischargingoftheirposternpetarades，usecommonlytosay，Voilapourlesquittes，thatis，Forthequit。Mylifewillbeofveryshortcontinuance，Idoforeseeit。I

recommendtoyouthemakingofmyepitaph；forIperceiveIwilldieconfectedintheverystenchoffarts。If，atanytimetocome，bywayofrestorativetosuchgoodwomenasshallhappentobetroubledwiththegrievouspainofthewind-colic，theordinarymedicamentsprovenothingeffectual，themummyofallmybefartedbodywillstraightbeasapresentremedyappointedbythephysicians；whereofthey，takinganysmallmodicum，itwillincontinentlyfortheireaseaffordthemarattleofbumshot，likeasalofmuskets。

ThereforewouldIbeseechyoutoleavemesomefewcenturiesofdebts；asKingLouistheEleventh，exemptingfromsuitsinlawtheReverendMilesd\'Illiers，BishopofChartres，wasbythesaidbishopmostearnestlysolicitedtoleavehimsomefewfortheexerciseofhismind。Ihadrathergivethemallmyrevenueoftheperiwinkles，togetherwiththeotherincomesofthelocusts，albeitIshouldnottherebyhaveanyparcelabatedfromofftheprincipalsumswhichIowe。Letuswaivethismatter，quothPantagruel，Ihavetoldityouoveragain。