第15章

Chapter3。XXXVIII。

HowTribouletissetforthandblazedbyPantagruelandPanurge。

Bymysoul，quothPanurge，thatoverturepleasethmeexceedinglywell。I

willthereforelayholdthereon，andembraceit。Attheverymotioningthereofmyveryrightentrailseemethtobewidenedandenlarged，whichwasbutjustnowhard-bound，contracted，andcostive。Butaswehavehithertomadechoiceofthepurestandmostrefinedcreamofwisdomandsapienceforourcounsel，sowouldInowhavetopresideandbeartheprimeswayinourconsultationasveryafoolinthesupremedegree。Triboulet，quothPantagruel，iscompletelyfoolish，asIconceive。Yes，truly，answeredPanurge，heisproperlyandtotallyafool，aPantagruel。Panurge。

Fatalf。Jovialf。

Naturalf。Mercurialf。

Celestialf。Lunaticf。

Erraticf。Ducalf。

Eccentricf。Commonf。

AetherealandJunonianf。Lordlyf。

Arcticf。Palatinef。

Heroicf。Principalf。

Genialf。Pretorianf。

Inconstantf。Electedf。

Earthlyf。Courtlyf。

Salaciousandsportingf。Primipilaryf。

Jocundandwantonf。Triumphantf。

Pimpledf。Vulgarf。

Freckledf。Domesticf。

Bell-tingingf。Exemplaryf。

Laughingandlecherousf。Rareoutlandishf。

Nimmingandfilchingf。Satrapalf。

Unpressedf。Civilf。

Firstbroachedf。Popularf。

Augustalf。Familiarf。

Caesarinef。Notablef。

Imperialf。Favourizedf。

Royalf。Latinizedf。

Patriarchalf。Ordinaryf。

Originalf。Transcendentf。

Loyalf。Risingf。

Episcopalf。Papalf。

Doctoralf。Consistorianf。

Monachalf。Conclavistf。

Fiscalf。Bullistf。

Extravagantf。Synodalf。

Writhedf。Dotingandravingf。

Canonicalf。Singularandsurpassingf。

Suchanotherf。Specialandexcellingf。

Graduatedf。Metaphysicalf。

Commensalf。Scaticalf。

Primolicentiatedf。Predicamentalandcategoricf。

Train-bearingf。Predicableandenunciatoryf。

Supererogatingf。Decumaneandsuperlativef。

Collateralf。Dutifulandofficiousf。

Haunchandsidef。Opticalandperspectivef。

Nestling，ninny，andyounglingf。Algoristicf。

Flitting，giddy，andunsteadyf。Algebraicalf。

Brancher，novice，andcockneyf。CabalisticalandMassoreticalf。

Haggard，cross，andfrowardf。Talmudicalf。

Gentle，mild，andtractablef。Algamalizedf。

Mail-coatedf。Compendiousf。

Pilferingandpurloiningf。Abbreviatedf。

Tail-grownf。Hyperbolicalf。

Greypeckledf。Anatomasticalf。

Pleonasmicalf。Allegoricalf。

Capitalf。Tropologicalf。

Hair-brainedf。Micherpincrustf。

Cordialf。Heteroclitf。

Intimatef。Summistf。

Hepaticf。Abridgingf。

Cupshottenandswillingf。Morrishf。

Spleneticf。Leaden-sealedf。

Windyf。Mandatoryf。

Legitimatef。Compassionatef。

Azymathalf。Titularyf。

Almicantarizedf。Crouching，showking，duckingf。

Proportionedf。Grim，stern，harsh，andwaywardf。

Chinnifiedf。Well-hungandtimberedf。

Swollenandpuffedupf。Ill-clawed，pounced，andpawedf。

Overcockrifedlidandlifiedf。Well-stonedf。

Coralloryf。Crabbedandunpleasingf。

Easternf。Windedanduntaintedf。

Sublimef。Kitchenhauntingf。

Crimsonf。Loftyandstatelyf。

Ingrainedf。Spitrackf。

Cityf。Architravef。

Baselyaccoutredf。Pedestalf。

Mast-headedf。Tetragonalf。

Modalf。Renownedf。

Secondnotialf。Rheumaticf。

Cheerfulandbuxomf。Flauntingandbraggadociof。

Solemnf。Egregiousf。

Annualf。Humourousandcapriciousf。

Festivalf。Rude，gross，andabsurdf。

Recreativef。Large-measuredf。

Boorishandcounterfeitf。Babblef。

Pleasantf。Down-rightf。

Privilegedf。Broad-listedf。

Rusticalf。Duncical-bearingf。

Properandpeculiarf。Staleandover-wornf。

Everreadyf。Saucyandswaggeringf。

Diapasonalf。Full-bulkedf。

Resolutef。Gallantandvaingloriousf。

Hieroglyphicalf。Gorgeousandgaudyf。

Authenticf。Continualandintermittingf。

Worthyf。Rebasingandroundlingf。

Preciousf。Prototypalandprecedentingf。

Fanaticf。Pratingf。

Fantasticalf。Catecheticf。

Symphaticf。Cacodoxicalf。

Panicf。Meridionalf。

Limbeckedanddistilledf。Nocturnalf。

Comportablef。Occidentalf。

Wretchedandheartlessf。Triflingf。

Foodedf。Astrologicalandfigure-flingingf。

Thickandthreefoldf。Genethliacandhoroscopalf。

Damaskedf。Knavishf。

Fearneyf。Idiotf。

Unleavenedf。Blockishf。

Baritonantf。Beetle-headedf。

Pinkandspot-powderedf。Grotesquef。

Musket-prooff。Impertinentf。

Pedanticf。Quarrelsomef。

Stroutingf。Unmannerlyf。

Woodf。Captiousandsophisticalf。

Greedyf。Soriticf。

Senselessf。Catholoprotonf。

Godderlichf。HotiandDiotif。

Obstinatef。AlphosandCatatif。

Contradictoryf。

Pedagogicalf。

Daftf。

Drunkenf。

Peevishf。

Prodigalf。

Rashf。

Ploddingf。

Pantagruel。IftherewasanyreasonwhyatRometheQuirinalholidayofoldwascalledtheFeastofFools，IknownotwhywemaynotforthelikecauseinstituteinFrancetheTribouleticFestivals，tobecelebratedandsolemnizedoveralltheland。

Pantagruel。Ifallfoolscarriedcruppers。

Pantagruel。IfhewerethegodFatuusofwhomwehavealreadymademention，thehusbandofthegoddessFatua，hisfatherwouldbeGoodDay，andhisgrandmotherGoodEven。

Panurge。Ifallfoolspaced，albeithebesomewhatwry-legged，hewouldoverlayatleastafathomateveryrake。Letusgotowardhimwithoutanyfurtherlingeringordelay；weshallhave，nodoubt，somefineresolutionofhim。Iamreadytogo，andlongfortheissueofourprogressimpatiently。Imustneeds，quothPantagruel，accordingtomyformerresolutiontherein，bepresentatBridlegoose\'strial。Nevertheless，whilstIshallbeuponmyjourneytowardsMirelingues，whichisontheothersideoftheriverofLoire，IwilldespatchCarpalintobringalongwithhimfromBloisthefoolTriboulet。ThenwasCarpalininstantlysentaway，andPantagruel，atthesametimeattendedbyhisdomestics，Panurge，Epistemon，Ponocrates，FriarJohn，Gymnast，Ryzotomus，andothers，marchedforwardonthehighroadtoMirelingues。

Chapter3。XXXIX。

HowPantagruelwaspresentatthetrialofJudgeBridlegoose，whodecidedcausesandcontroversiesinlawbythechanceandfortuneofthedice。

Onthedayfollowing，preciselyatthehourappointed，PantagruelcametoMirelingues。Athisarrivalthepresidents，senators，andcounsellorsprayedhimtodothemthehonourtoenterinwiththem，tohearthedecisionofallthecauses，arguments，andreasonswhichBridlegooseinhisowndefencewouldproduce，whyhehadpronouncedacertainsentenceagainstthesubsidy-assessor，Toucheronde，whichdidnotseemveryequitabletothatcentumviralcourt。Pantagruelverywillinglycondescendedtotheirdesire，andaccordinglyenteringin，foundBridlegoosesittingwithinthemiddleoftheenclosureofthesaidcourtofjustice；whoimmediatelyuponthecomingofPantagruel，accompaniedwiththesenatorianmembersofthatworshipfuljudicatory，arose，wenttothebar，hadhisindictmentread，andforallhisreasons，defences，andexcuses，answerednothingelsebutthathewasbecomeold，andthathissightoflatewasverymuchfailed，andbecomedimmerthanitwaswonttobe；instancingtherewithalmanymiseriesandcalamitieswhicholdagebringethalongwithit，andareconcomitanttowrinkledelders；whichnot。perArchid。d。lxxxvi。c。tanta。Byreasonofwhichinfirmityhewasnotablesodistinctlyandclearlytodiscernthepointsandblotsofthediceasformerlyhehadbeenaccustomedtodo；

whenceitmightverywellhavehappened，saidhe，asolddim-sightedIsaactookJacobforEsau，thatIafterthesamemanner，atthedecisionofcausesandcontroversiesinlaw，shouldhavebeenmistakenintakingaquatreforacinque，oratreyforadeuce。ThisIbeseechyourworships，quothhe，totakeintoyourseriousconsideration，andtohavethemorefavourableopinionofmyuprightness，notwithstandingtheprevaricationwhereofIamaccusedinthematterofToucheronde\'ssentence，thatatthetimeofthatdecree\'spronouncingIonlyhadmadeuseofmysmalldice；andyourworships，saidhe，knowverywellhowbythemostauthenticrulesofthelawitisprovidedthattheimperfectionsofnatureshouldneverbeimputeduntoanyforcrimesandtransgressions；asappeareth，ff。deremilit。l。quicumuno。ff。dereg。Jur。l。fere。ff。deaedil。edict。pertotum。ff。determ。mod。l。DivusAdrianus，resolvedbyLud。Rom。inl。sivero。ff。Sol。Matr。Andwhowouldoffertodootherwise，shouldnottherebyaccusetheman，butnature，andtheall-seeingprovidenceofGod，asisevidentinl。MaximumVitium，c。delib。praeter。

Whatkindofdice，quothTrinquamelle，grand-presidentofthesaidcourt，doyoumean，myfriendBridlegoose？Thedice，quothBridlegoose，ofsentencesatlaw，decrees，andperemptoryjudgments，AleaJudiciorum，whereofiswritten，PerDoct。26。qu。2。cap。sort。l。necemptioff。decontrahend。empt。l。quoddebetur。ff。depecul。etibiBartol。，andwhichyourworshipsdo，aswellasI，use，inthisglorioussovereigncourtofyours。Sodoallotherrighteousjudgesintheirdecisionofprocessesandfinaldeterminationoflegaldifferences，observingthatwhichhathbeensaidthereofbyD。Henri。Ferrandat，etnot。gl。inc。fin。desortil。etl。sedcumambo。ff。dejud。UbiDocto。Mark，thatchanceandfortunearegood，honest，profitable，andnecessaryforendingofandputtingafinalclosuretodissensionsanddebatesinsuitsatlaw。ThesamehathmoreclearlybeendeclaredbyBald。Bartol。etAlex。c。communiadeleg。l。Siduo。Buthowisitthatyoudothesethings？askedTrinquamelle。Iverybriefly，quothBridlegoose，shallansweryou，accordingtothedoctrineandinstructionsofLeg。ampliorempara。inrefutatoriis。c。deappel。；whichisconformtowhatissaidinGlossl。I。ff。quodmet。causa。Gaudentbrevitatemoderni。Mypracticeisthereinthesamewiththatofyourotherworships，andasthecustomofthejudicatoryrequires，untowhichourlawcommandethustohaveregard，andbytherulethereofstilltodirectandregulateouractionsandprocedures；utnot。extra。deconsuet。inc。exliterisetibiinnoc。Forhavingwellandexactlyseen，surveyed，overlooked，reviewed，recognized，read，andreadoveragain，turnedandtossedover，seriouslyperusedandexaminedthebillsofcomplaint，accusations，impeachments，indictments，warnings，citations，summonings，comparitions，appearances，mandates，commissions，delegations，instructions，informations，inquests，preparatories，productions，evidences，proofs，allegations，depositions，crossspeeches，contradictions，supplications，requests，petitions，inquiries，instrumentsofthedepositionofwitnesses，rejoinders，replies，confirmationsofformerassertions，duplies，triplies，answerstorejoinders，writings，deeds，reproaches，disablingofexceptionstaken，grievances，salvationbills，re-examinationofwitnesses，confrontingofthemtogether，declarations，denunciations，libels，certificates，royalmissives，lettersofappeal，lettersofattorney，instrumentsofcompulsion，delineatories，anticipatories，evocations，messages，dimissions，issues，exceptions，dilatorypleas，demurs，compositions，injunctions，reliefs，reports，returns，confessions，acknowledgments，exploits，executions，andothersuch-likeconfectsandspiceries，bothattheoneandtheotherside，asagoodjudgeoughttodo，conformtowhathathbeennotedthereupon。Spec。

deordination。Paragr。3。etTit。deOffi。omn。jud。paragr。fin。etderescriptispraesentat。parag。I——Ipositontheendofatableinmyclosetallthepokesandbagsofthedefendant，andthenallowuntohimthefirsthazardofthedice，accordingtotheusualmannerofyourotherworships。Anditismentioned，l。favorabiliores。ff。dereg。jur。etincap。cumsunteod。tit。lib。6，whichsaith，Quumsuntpartiumjuraobscura，reopotiusfavendumestquamactori。Thatbeingdone，I

thereafterlaydownupontheotherendofthesametablethebagsandsatchelsoftheplaintiff，asyourotherworshipsareaccustomedtodo，visumvisu，justoveragainstoneanother；forOppositajuxtasepositaclariuselucescunt:utnot。inlib。I。parag。Videamus。ff。dehisquisuntsuivelalienijuris，etinl。munerum。para。mixtaff。demun。ethon。ThendoIlikewiseandsemblablythrowthediceforhim，andforthwithlivrehimhischance。But，quothTrinquamelle，myfriend，howcomeyoutoknow，understand，andresolvetheobscurityofthesevariousandseemingcontrarypassagesinlaw，whicharelaidclaimtobythesuitorsandpleadingparties？Evenjust，quothBridlegoose，afterthefashionofyourotherworships；towit，whentherearemanybagsontheonesideandontheother，Ithenusemylittlesmalldice，afterthecustomarymannerofyourotherworships，inobediencetothelaw，Semperinstipulationibusff。dereg。jur。Andthelawver(s)ifiedversifieththat，Eod。tit。Semperinobscurisquodminimumestsequimur；canonizedinc。inobscuris。eod。tit。lib。6。Ihaveotherlargegreatdice，fairandgoodlyones，whichIemployinthefashionthatyourotherworshipsusetodo，whenthematterismoreplain，clear，andliquid，thatistosay，whentherearefewerbags。Butwhenyouhavedoneallthesefinethings，quothTrinquamelle，howdoyou，myfriend，awardyourdecrees，andpronouncejudgment？Evenasyourotherworships，answeredBridlegoose；forIgiveoutsentenceinhisfavouruntowhomhathbefallenthebestchancebydice，judiciary，tribunian，pretorial，whatcomesfirst。Soourlawscommand，ff。quipot。inpign。l。creditor，c。deconsul。I。Etderegul。jur。in6。Quiprioresttemporepotiorestjure。

Chapter3。XL。

HowBridlegoosegivethreasonswhyhelookeduponthoselaw-actionswhichhedecidedbythechanceofthedice。

Yeabut，quothTrinquamelle，myfriend，seeingitisbythelot，chance，andthrowofthedicethatyouawardyourjudgmentsandsentences，whydonotyoulivreupthesefairthrowsandchancestheverysamedayandhour，withoutanyfurtherprocrastinationordelay，thatthecontrovertingparty-

pleadersappearbeforeyou？Towhatusecanthosewritingsserveyou，thosepapersandotherprocedurescontainedinthebagsandpokesofthelaw-suitors？Totheverysameuse，quothBridlegoose，thattheyserveyourotherworships。Theyarebehoovefuluntome，andservemyturninthreethingsveryexquisite，requisite，andauthentical。First，forformalitysake，theomissionwhereof，thatitmakethall，whateverisdone，tobeofnoforcenorvalue，isexcellentlywellproved，bySpec。I。tit。deinstr。

edit。ettit。derescript。praesent。Besidesthat，itisnotunknowntoyou，whohavehadmanymoreexperimentsthereofthanI，howoftentimes，injudicialproceedings，theformalitiesutterlydestroythematerialitiesandsubstancesofthecausesandmattersagitated；forFormamutata，mutatursubstantia。ff。adexhib。l。Julianus。ff。adleg。Fal。l。siisquiquadraginta。Etextradedecim。c。adaudientiam，etdecelebrat。miss。c。

inquadam。

Secondly，theyareusefulandsteadabletome，evenasuntoyourotherworships，inlieuofsomeotherhonestandhealthfulexercise。ThelateMasterOthomanVadet(Vadere)，aprimephysician，asyouwouldsay，Cod。deComit。etArchi。lib。12，hathfrequentlytoldmethatthelackanddefaultofbodilyexerciseisthechief，ifnotthesoleandonlycauseofthelittlehealthandshortlivesofallofficersofjustice，suchasyourworshipsandIam。WhichobservationwassingularlywellbeforehimnotedandremarkedbyBartholusinlib。I。c。desent。quaeproeoquod。

Thereforeitisthatthepracticeofsuch-likeexercitationsisappointedtobelaidholdonbyyourotherworships，andconsequentlynottobedenieduntome，whoamofthesameprofession；Quiaaccessoriumnaturamsequiturprincipalis。dereg。jur。l。6。etl。cumprincipalis。etl。nihildolo。ff。eod。tit。ff。defide-juss。l。fide-juss。etextradeofficiodeleg。cap。I。Letcertainhonestandrecreativesportsandplaysofcorporealexercisesbeallowedandapprovedof；andsofar，(ff。deallus。

etaleat。l。solent。etauthent。)utomnesobed。inprinc。coll。7。etff。

depraescript。verb。l。sigratuitametl。I。cod。despect。l。II。SuchalsoistheopinionofD。Thom，insecunda，secundaeQ。I。168。QuotedinverygoodpurposebyD。AlbertdeRosa，whofuitmagnuspracticus，andasolemndoctor，asBarbatiasattestethinprincipiisconsil。Whereforethereasonisevidentlyandclearlydeducedandsetdownbeforeusingloss。inprooemio。ff。par。neautemtertii。

Interponetuisinterdumgaudiacuris。

Inverydeed，once，intheyearathousandfourhundredfourscoreandninth，havingabusinessconcerningtheportionandinheritanceofayoungerbrotherdependinginthecourtandchamberofthefourhightreasurersofFrance，whereintoassoonaseverIgotleavetoenterbyapecuniarypermissionoftheusherthereof，——asyourotherworshipsknowverywell，thatPecuniaeobediuntomnia，andtheresaysBaldus，inl。

singularia。ff。sicert。pet。etSalic。inl。receptitia。Cod。deconstit。

pecuni。etCard。inClem。I。debaptism——Ifoundthemallrecreatinganddivertingthemselvesattheplaycalledmuss，eitherbeforeorafterdinner；tome，truly，itisathingaltogetherindifferentwhetherofthetwoitwas，providedthathicnot。，thatthegameofthemussishonest，healthful，ancient，andlawful，aMuschoinventore，dequocod。depetit。

haered。l。sipostmortem。etMuscarii。Suchasplayandsportitatthemussareexcusableinandbylaw，lib。I。c。deexcus。artific。lib。10。

AndattheverysametimewasMasterTielmanPicquetoneoftheplayersofthatgameofmuss。ThereisnothingthatIdobetterremember，forhelaughedheartilywhenhisfellow-membersoftheaforesaidjudicialchamberspoiledtheircapsinswingeingofhisshoulders。He，nevertheless，dideventhensayuntothem，thatthebangingandflappingofhim，tothewasteandhavocoftheircaps，shouldnot，attheirreturnfromthepalacetotheirownhouses，excusethemfromtheirwives，Per。c。extra。depraesumpt。etibigloss。Now，resolutorieloquendo，Ishouldsay，accordingtothestyleandphraseofyourotherworships，thatthereisnoexercise，sport，game，play，norrecreationinallthispalatine，palatial，orparliamentaryworld，morearomatizingandfragrantthantoemptyandvoidbagsandpurses，turnoverpapersandwritings，quotemarginsandbacksofscrollsandrolls，fillpanniers，andtakeinspectionofcauses，Ex。Bart。etJoan。dePra。inl。falsa。decondit。etdemonst。ff。

Thirdly，Iconsider，asyourownworshipsusetodo，thattimeripenethandbringethallthingstomaturity，thatbytimeeverythingcomethtobemademanifestandpatent，andthattimeisthefatheroftruthandvirtue。

Gloss。inl。I。cod。deservit。authent。derestit。eteaquaepa。etspec。

tit。derequisit。cons。Thereforeisitthat，afterthemannerandfashionofyourotherworships，Idefer，protract，delay，prolong，intermit，surcease，pause，linger，suspend，prorogate，driveout，wire-draw，andshiftoffthetimeofgivingadefinitivesentence，totheendthatthesuitorprocess，beingwellfannedandwinnowed，tossedandcanvassedtoandfro，narrowly，precisely，andnearlygarbled，sifted，searched，andexamined，andonallhandsexactlyargued，disputed，anddebated，may，bysuccessionoftime，comeatlasttoitsfullripenessandmaturity。Bymeanswhereof，whenthefatalhazardofthediceensueththereupon，thepartiescastorcondemnedbythesaidaleatorychancewillwithmuchgreaterpatience，andmoremildlyandgently，endureandbearupthedisastrousloadoftheirmisfortune，thaniftheyhadbeensentencedattheirfirstarrivaluntothecourt，asnot。gl。ff。deexcus。tut。l。tria。

onera。

Portaturleviterquodportatquisquelibenter。

Ontheotherpart，topassadecreeorsentencewhentheactionisraw，crude，green，unripe，unprepared，asatthebeginning，adangerwouldensueofanolessinconveniencythanthatwhichthephysicianshavebeenwonttosaybefallethtohiminwhomanimposthumeispiercedbeforeitberipe，oruntoanyotherwhosebodyispurgedofastrongpredominatinghumourbeforeitsdigestion。Forasitiswritten，inauthent。haecconstit。inInnoc。

deconstit。princip。，soisthesamerepeatedingloss。inc。caeterum。

extra。dejuram。calumn。Quodmedicamentamorbisexhibent，hocjuranegotiis。Naturefurthermoreadmonishethandteachethustogatherandreap，eatandfeedonfruitswhentheyareripe，andnotbefore。Instit。

derer。div。paragr。isadquemetff。deaction。empt。l。Julianus。Tomarrylikewiseourdaughterswhentheyareripe，andnosooner，ff。dedonation。intervir。etuxor。l。cumhicstatus。paragr。siquissponsam。

et27qu。I。c。sicutdicit。gl。

JammaturathoroplenisadoleveratannisVirginitas。

And，inaword，sheinstructethustodonothingofanyconsiderableimportance，butinafullmaturityandripeness，23。q。parault。et23。dec。ultimo。

Chapter3。XLI。

HowBridlegooserelateththehistoryofthereconcilersofpartiesatvarianceinmattersoflaw。

Iremembertothesamepurpose，quothBridlegoose，incontinuinghisdiscourse，thatinthetimewhenatPoictiersIwasastudentoflawunderBrocadiumJuris，therewasatSemerveonePeterDandin，averyhonestman，carefullaboureroftheground，finesingerinachurch-desk，ofgoodreputeandcredit，andolderthanthemostagedofallyourworships；whowaswonttosaythathehadseenthegreatandgoodlygoodman，theCouncilofLateran，withhiswideandbroad-brimmedredhat。Asalso，thathehadbeheldandlookeduponthefairandbeautifulPragmaticalSanctionhiswife，withherhugerosaryorpatenotrianchapletofjet-beadshangingatalargesky-colouredribbon。Thishonestmancompounded，atoned，andagreedmoredifferences，controversies，andvariancesatlawthanhadbeendetermined，voided，andfinishedduringhistimeinthewholepalaceofPoictiers，intheauditoryofMontmorillon，andinthetown-houseoftheoldPartenay。Thisamicabledispositionofhisrenderedhimvenerableandofgreatestimation，sway，power，andauthoritythroughoutalltheneighbouringplacesofChauvigny，Nouaille，Leguge，Vivonne，Mezeaux，Estables，andotherborderingandcircumjacenttowns，villages，andhamlets。Alltheirdebateswerepacifiedbyhim；heputanendtotheirbrabblingsuitsatlawandwranglingdifferences。Byhisadviceandcounselswereaccordsandreconcilementsnolessfirmlymadethaniftheverdictofasovereignjudgehadbeeninterposedtherein，although，inverydeed，hewasnojudgeatall，butarighthonestman，asyoumaywellconceive，——arg。inl。sedsiunius。ff。dejure-jur。etdeverbisobligatoriisl。continuus。Therewasnotahogkilledwithinthreeparishesofhimwhereofhehadnotsomepartofthehasletandpuddings。Hewasalmosteverydayinvitedeithertoamarriagebanquet，christeningfeast，anuprisingorwomen-churchingtreatment，abirthday\'sanniversarysolemnity，amerryfrolicgossiping，orotherwisetosomedeliciousentertainmentinatavern，tomakesomeaccordandagreementbetweenpersonsatoddsandindebatewithoneanother。RemarkwhatIsay；forheneveryetsettledandcompoundedadifferencebetwixtanytwoatvariance，buthestraightmadethepartiesagreedandpacifiedtodrinktogetherasasureandinfallibletokenandsymbolofaperfectandcompletelywell-

cementedreconciliation，signofasoundandsincereamityandpropermarkofanewjoyandgladnesstofollowthereupon，——Utnot。per(Doct。)ff。deperic。etcom。reivend。l。I。Hehadason，whosenamewasTenotDandin，alusty，young，sturdy，friskingroister，sohelpmeGod！wholikewise，inimitationofhispeace-makingfather，wouldhaveundertakenandmeddledwiththemakingupofvariancesanddecidingofcontroversiesbetwixtdisagreeingandcontentiousparty-pleaders；asyouknow，Saepesoletsimilisessepatri。

Etsequiturleviterfiliamatrisiter。

Utaitgloss。6，quaest。I。c。Siquis。gloss。decons。dist。5。c。2。fin。

etest。not。perDoct。cod。deimpub。etaliissubstit。l。ult。etl。

legitime。ff。destat。hom。gloss。inl。quodsinolit。ff。deaedil。

edict。l。quisquisc。adleg。Jul。Majest。ExcipiofiliosaMonialisusceptosexMonacho。perglos。inc。impudicas。27。quaestione。I。Andsuchwashisconfidencetohavenoworsesuccessthanhisfather，heassumeduntohimselfthetitleofLaw-strife-settler。Hewaslikewiseinthesepacificatorynegotiationssoactiveandvigilant——for，Vigilantibusjurasubveniunt。exl。pupillus。ff。quaeinfraud。cred。etibid。l。nonenim。etinstit。inprooem——thatwhenhehadsmelt，heard，andfullyunderstood——utff。siquandopaup。fec。l。Agaso。gloss。inverb。olfecit，idest，nasumadculumposuit——andfoundthattherewasanywhereinthecountryadebatablematteratlaw，hewouldincontinentlythrustinhisadvice，andsoforwardlyintrudehisopinioninthebusiness，thathemadenobonesofmakingoffer，andtakinguponhimtodecideit，howdifficultsoeveritmighthappentobe，tothefullcontentmentandsatisfactionofbothparties。Itiswritten，Quinonlaboratnonmanducat；andthesaidgl。ff。dedamn。infect。l。quamvis，andCurrereplusquelepasvetulamcompellitegestas。gloss。ff。delib。agnosc。l。siquis。proquafacit。l。

siplures。c。decond。incert。Butsohugelygreatwashismisfortuneinthishisundertaking，thathenevercomposedanydifference，howlittlesoeveryoumayimagineitmighthavebeen，butthat，insteadofreconcilingthepartiesatodds，hedidincense，irritate，andexasperatethemtoahigherpointofdissensionandenmitythanevertheywereatbefore。Yourworshipsknow，Idoubtnot，that，Sermodaturcunctis，animisapientiapaucis。

Gl。ff。dealien。jud。mut。caus。fa。lib。2。Thisadministereduntothetavern-keepers，wine-drawers，andvintnersofSemerveanoccasiontosay，thatunderhimtheyhadnotinthespaceofawholeyearsomuchreconciliation-wine，forsoweretheypleasedtocallthegoodwineofLeguge，asunderhisfathertheyhaddoneinonehalf-hour\'stime。Ithappenedalittlewhilethereafterthathemadeamostheavyregretthereoftohisfather，attributingthecausesofhisbadsuccessinpacificatoryenterprisestotheperversity，stubbornness，froward，cross，andbackwardinclinationsofthepeopleofhistime；roundly，boldly，andirreverentlyupbraiding，thatifbutascoreofyearsbeforetheworldhadbeensowayward，obstinate，pervicacious，implacable，andoutofallsquare，frame，andorderasitwasthen，hisfatherhadneverattainedtoandacquiredthehonourandtitleofStrife-appeasersoirrefragably，inviolably，andirrevocablyashehaddone。IndoingwhereofTenotdidheinouslytransgressagainstthelawwhichprohibitethchildrentoreproachtheactionsoftheirparents；pergl。etBart。l。3。paragr。siquis。ff。decond。obcaus。etauthent。denupt。par。sedquodsancitum。col。4。Tothisthehonestoldfatheransweredthus:MysonDandin，whenDonOportettakethplace，thisisthecoursewhichwemusttrace，gl。c。deappell。l。

eosetiam。Fortheroadthatyouwentuponwasnotthewaytothefuller\'smill，norinanypartthereofwastheformtobefoundwhereintheharedidsit。Thouhastnottheskillanddexterityofsettlingandcomposingdifferences。Why？Becausethoutakestthematthebeginning，intheveryinfancyandbudasitwere，whentheyaregreen，raw，andindigestible。

YetIknowhandsomelyandfeatlyhowtocomposeandsettlethemall。Why？

BecauseItakethemattheirdecadence，intheirweaning，andwhentheyareprettywelldigested。SosaithGloss:

Dulciorestfructuspostmultapericulaductus。

L。nonmoriturus。c。decontrahend。etcommitt。stip。Didstthoueverhearthevulgarproverb，Happyisthephysicianwhosecomingisdesiredatthedeclensionofadisease？Forthesicknessbeingcometoacrisisisthenuponthedecreasinghand，anddrawingtowardsanend，althoughthephysicianshouldnotrepairthitherforthecurethereof；whereby，thoughnaturewhollydothework，hebearsawaythepalmandpraisethereof。Mypleaders，afterthesamemanner，beforeIdidinterposemyjudgmentinthereconcilingofthem，werewaxingfaintintheircontestations。Theiraltercationheatwasmuchabated，and，indecliningfromtheirformerstrife，theyofthemselvesinclinedtoafirmaccommodationoftheirdifferences；becausetherewantedfueltothatfireofburningrancouranddespitefulwranglingwhereofthelowersortoflawyerswerethekindlers。

Thatistosay，theirpurseswereemptiedofcoin，theyhadnotawinintheirfob，norpennyintheirbag，wherewithtosolicitandpresenttheiractions。

Deficientepecu，deficitomne，nia。

Therewantedthennothingbutsomebrothertosupplytheplaceofaparanymph，brawl-broker，proxenete，ormediator，who，actinghispartdexterously，shouldbethefirstbroacherofthemotionofanagreement，forsavingboththeoneandtheotherpartyfromthathurtfulandperniciousshamewhereofhecouldnothaveavoidedtheimputationwhenitshouldhavebeensaidthathewasthefirstwhoyieldedandspokeofareconcilement，andthattherefore，hiscausenotbeinggood，andbeingsensiblewherehisshoedidpinchhim，hewaswillingtobreaktheice，andmakethegreaterhastetopreparethewayforacondescendmenttoanamicableandfriendlytreaty。ThenwasitthatIcameinpuddingtime，Dandin，myson，noristhefatofbaconmorerelishingtoboiledpeasthanwasmyverdictthenagreeabletothem。Thiswasmyluck，myprofit，andgoodfortune。Itellthee，myjollysonDandin，thatbythisruleandmethodIcouldsettleafirmpeace，oratleastclapupacessationofarmsandtruceformanyyearstocome，betwixttheGreatKingandtheVenetianState，theEmperorandtheCantonsofSwitzerland，theEnglishandtheScots，andbetwixtthePopeandtheFerrarians。ShallIgoyetfurther？

Yea，asIwouldhaveGodtohelpme，betwixttheTurkandtheSophy，theTartarsandtheMuscoviters。RemarkwellwhatIamtosayuntothee。I

wouldtakethematthatveryinstantnickoftimewhenboththoseoftheoneandtheothersideshouldbewearyandtiredofmakingwar，whentheyhadvoidedandemptiedtheirowncashesandcoffersofalltreasureandcoin，drainedandexhaustedthepursesandbagsoftheirsubjects，soldandmortgagedtheirdomainsandproperinheritances，andtotallywasted，spent，andconsumedthemunition，furniture，provision，andvictualsthatwerenecessaryforthecontinuanceofamilitaryexpedition。ThereIamsure，byGod，orbyhisMother，that，wouldthey，wouldtheynot，inspiteofalltheirteeths，theyshouldbeforcedtohavealittlerespiteandbreathingtimetomoderatethefuryandcruelrageoftheirambitiousaims。ThisisthedoctrineinGl。37。d。c。siquando。

Odero，sipotero；sinon，invitusamabo。

Chapter3。XLII。

Howsuitsatlawarebredatfirst，andhowtheycomeafterwardstotheirperfectgrowth。

Forthiscause，quothBridlegoose，goingoninhisdiscourse，Itemporizeandapplymyselftothetimes，asyourotherworshipsusetodo，waitingpatientlyforthematurityoftheprocess，fullgrowthandperfectionthereofinallitsmembers，towit，thewritingsandthebags。Arg。inl。

simajor。c。commun。divid。etdecons。di。I。c。solemnitates，etibigl。

Asuitinlawatitsproduction，birth，andfirstbeginning，seemethtome，asuntoyourotherworships，shapeless，withoutformorfashion，incomplete，uglyandimperfect，evenasabearathisfirstcomingintotheworldhathneitherhands，skin，hair，norhead，butismerelyaninform，rude，andill-favouredpieceandlumpofflesh，andwouldremainstillso，ifhisdam，outoftheabundanceofheraffectiontoherhopefulcub，didnotwithmuchlickingputhismembersintothatfigureandshapewhichnaturehadprovidedforthoseofanarcticandursinalkind；utnot。Doct。

ff。adl。Aquil。l。3。infin。JustsodoIsee，asyourotherworshipsdo，processesandsuitsinlaw，attheirfirstbringingforth，tobenumberless，withoutshape，deformed，anddisfigured，forthatthentheyconsistonlyofoneortwowritings，orcopiesofinstruments，throughwhichdefecttheyappearuntome，astoyourotherworships，foul，loathsome，filthy，andmisshapenbeasts。Butwhenthereareheapsoftheselegiformalpaperspacked，piled，laiduptogether，impoked，insatchelled，andputupinbags，thenisitthatwithagoodreasonwemaytermthatsuit，towhich，aspieces，parcels，parts，portions，andmembersthereof，theydopertainandbelong，well-formedandfashioned，big-limbed，strong-

set，andinallandeachofitsdimensionsmostcompletelymembered。

Becauseformadatesse。rei。l。siisqui。ff。adleg。Falcid。inc。cumdilecta。derescript。Barbat。consil。12。lib。2，andbeforehim，Baldus，inc。ult。extra。deconsuet。etl。Julianusadexhib。ff。etl。quaesitum。

ff。deleg。3。Themannerissuchasissetdowningl。p。quaest。I。c。

Paulus。

Debileprincipiummeliorfortunasequetur。

Likeyourotherworships，alsothesergeants，catchpoles，pursuivants，messengers，summoners，apparitors，ushers，door-keepers，pettifoggers，attorneys，proctors，commissioners，justicesofthepeace，judgedelegates，arbitrators，overseers，sequestrators，advocates，inquisitors，jurors，searchers，examiners，notaries，tabellions，scribes，scriveners，clerks，pregnotaries，secondaries，andexpedaneanjudges，dequibustit。est。l。3。

c。，bysuckingverymuch，andthatexceedingforcibly，andlickingatthepursesofthepleadingparties，they，tothesuitsalreadybegotandengendered，form，fashion，andframehead，feet，claws，talons，beaks，bills，teeth，hands，veins，sinews，arteries，muscles，humours，andsoforth，throughallthesimilaryanddissimilarypartsofthewhole；whichparts，particles，pendicles，andappurtenancesarethelawpokesandbags，gl。decons。d。4。c。accepisti。Qualisvestiserit，taliacordagerit。

Hicnotandumest，thatinthisrespectthepleaders，litigants，andlaw-

suitorsarehappierthantheofficers，ministers，andadministratorsofjustice。Forbeatiusestdarequamaccipere。ff。commun。l。3。extra。decelebr。Miss。c。cumMarthae。et24。quaest。I。cap。Od。gl。

Affectumdantispensatcensuratonantis。

Thusbecomeththeactionorprocessbytheircareandindustrytobeofacompleteandgoodlybulk，wellshaped，framed，formed，andfashionedaccordingtothecanonicalgloss。

Accipe，sume，cape，suntverbaplacentiaPapae。

WhichspeechhathbeenmoreclearlyexplainedbyAlbertdeRos，inverboRoma。

Romamanusrodit，quasroderenonvalet，odit。

Dantescustodit，nondantesspernit，etodit。

Thereasonwhereofisthoughttobethis:

Adpraesensovacraspullissuntmeliora。

utestgl。inl。quumhi。ff。detransact。Noristhisall；fortheinconvenienceofthecontraryissetdowningloss。c。deallu。l。fin。

Quumlaborindamnoest，crescitmortalisegestas。

Inconfirmationwhereofwefindthatthetrueetymologyandexpositionofthewordprocessispurchase，viz。ofgoodstoreofmoneytothelawyers，andofmanypokes——idest，prou-sacks——tothepleaders，uponwhichsubjectwehavemostcelestialquips，gibes，andgirds。

Ligitandojuracrescunt；litigandojusacquiritur。

Itemgl。incap。illudextrem。depraesumpt。etc。deprob。l。instrum。l。

nonepistolis。l。nonnudis。

Etsinonprosuntsingula，multajuvant。

Yeabut，askedTrinquamelle，howdoyouproceed，myfriend，incriminalcauses，theculpableandguiltypartybeingtakenandseizeduponflagrantecrimine？Evenasyourotherworshipsusetodo，answeredBridlegoose。

First，Ipermittheplaintifftodepartfromthecourt，enjoininghimnottopresumetoreturnthithertillhepreallablyshouldhavetakenagoodsoundandprofoundsleep，whichistoservefortheprimeentryandintroductiontothelegalcarryingonofthebusiness。Inthenextplace，aformalreportistobemadetomeofhishavingslept。Thirdly，Iissueforthawarranttoconvenehimbeforeme。Fourthly，heistoproduceasufficientandauthenticattestationofhishavingthoroughlyandentirelyslept，conformtotheGloss。37。Quest。7。c。Siquiscum。

QuandoquebonusdormitatHomerus。

Beingthusfaradvancedintheformalityoftheprocess，Ifindthatthisconsopiatingactengenderethanotheract，whenceariseththearticulatingofamember。Thatagainproducethathirdact，fashionativeofanothermember；whichthirdbringingforthafourth，procreativeofanotheract。

Newmembersinanofewernumberareshapenandframed，onestillbreedingandbegettinganother——as，linkafterlink，thecoatofmailatlengthismade——tillthus，pieceafterpiece，bylittleandlittle，byinformationuponinformation，theprocessbecompletelywellformedandperfectinallhismembers。Finally，havingproceededthislength，Ihaverecoursetomydice，norisittobethoughtthatthisinterruption，respite，orinterpellationisbymeoccasionedwithoutverygoodreasoninducingmethereunto，andanotableexperienceofamostconvincingandirrefragableforce。

Iremember，onatime，thatinthecampatStockholmtherewasacertainGasconnamedGratianauld，nativeofthetownofSaintSever，whohavinglostallhismoneyatplay，andconsecutivelybeingveryangrythereat——asyouknow，Pecuniaestaltersanguis，utaitAnto。deBurtio，inc。

accedens。2。extrautlit。noncontest。etBald。inl。situis。c。deopt。

leg。pertot。inl。advocati。c。deadvoc。div。jud。Pecuniaestvitahominisetoptimusfide-jussorinnecessitatibus——did，athiscomingforthofthegaming-house，inthepresenceofthewholecompanythatwasthere，withaveryloudvoicespeakinhisownlanguagethesefollowingwords:

Paocapdebioushillots，quemauxdepipesboustresbire:aresquedepergudessontlesmiresbingt，etquouatrebagnelles，tapladonnerienpics，trucs，etpatacts，Seydegundebousaulx，quiboilletruquarambeiouabelsembis。Findingthatnonewouldmakehimanyanswer，hepassedfromthencetothatpartoftheleaguerwherethehuff-snuff，hondersponder，swashbucklingHighGermanswere，towhomherenewedtheseveryterms，provokingthemtofightwithhim；butallthereturnhehadfromthemtohisstoutchallengewasonly，DerGasconnerthutsichauszmiteiniedemzuschlagen，abereristgeneigterzustehlen，darum，liebefrawen，habtsorgzueuermhauszrath。FindingalsothatnoneofthatbandofTeutonicsoldiersofferedhimselftothecombat，hepassedtothatquarteroftheleaguerwheretheFrenchfreebootingadventurerswereencamped，andreiteratinguntothemwhathehadbeforerepeatedtotheDutchwarriors，challengedthemlikewisetofightwithhim，andtherewithalmadesomeprettylittleGasconadofriskinggambolstoobligethemthemorecheerfullyandgallantlytocopewithhiminthelistsofaduellizingengagement；butnoansweratallwasmadeuntohim。WhereupontheGascon，despairingofmeetingwithanyantagonists，departedfromthence，andlayinghimselfdownnotfarfromthepavilionsofthegrandChristiancavalierCrissie，fellfastasleep。Whenhehadthoroughlysleptanhourortwo，anotheradventurousandall-hazardingbladeoftheforlornhopeofthelavishinglywastinggamesters，havingalsolostallhismoneys，salliedforthwithswordinhishand，ofafirmresolutiontofightwiththeaforesaidGascon，seeinghehadlostaswellashe。

Ploraturlachrymisamissapecuniaveris，saiththeGl。depoenitent。distinct。3。c。suntplures。Tothiseffecthavingmadeinquiryandsearchforhimthroughoutthewholecamp，andinsequelthereoffoundhimasleep，hesaiduntohim，Up，ho，goodfellow，inthenameofallthedevilsofhell，riseup，riseup，getup！Ihavelostmymoneyaswellasthouhastdone；letusthereforegofightlustilytogether，grappleandscuffleittosomepurpose。Thoumayestlookandseethatmytuckisnolongerthanthyrapier。TheGascon，altogetherastonishedathisunexpectedprovocation，withoutalteringhisformerdialectspokethus:CapdeSaintArnault，quauseystoyou，quimerebeillez？Quemaudetabernetegire。HoSaintSiobe，capdeGascoigne，tapladormyjou，quandaquoesttaquainmebingutestee。Theventurousroisterinvitethhimagaintotheduel，buttheGascon，withoutcondescendingtohisdesire，saidonlythis:Hepaovretjoutesquinerieares，quesonplareposat。Vayneunpauquetepausarcomjou，peussetruqueren。Thus，inforgettinghisloss，heforgottheeagernesswhichhehadtofight。Inconclusion，afterthattheotherhadlikewisesleptalittle，they，insteadoffighting，andpossiblykillingoneanother，wentjointlytoasutler\'stent，wheretheydranktogetherveryamicably，eachuponthepawnofhissword。Thusbyalittlesleepwaspacifiedtheardentfuryoftwowarlikechampions。There，gossip，comesthegoldenwordofJohnAndr。incap。ult。desent。etre。judic。l。sexto。

Sedendo，etdormiendofitanimaprudens。

Chapter3。XLIII。

HowPantagruelexcusethBridlegooseinthematterofsentencingactionsatlawbythechanceofthedice。

WiththisBridlegooseheldhispeace。WhereuponTrinquamellebidhimwithdrawfromthecourt——whichaccordinglywasdone——andthendirectedhisdiscoursetoPantagruelafterthismanner:Itisfitting，mostillustriousprince，notonlybyreasonofthedeepobligationswhereinthispresentparliament，togetherwiththewholemarquisateofMirelingues，standboundtoyourroyalhighnessfortheinnumerablebenefitswhich，aseffectsofmeregrace，theyhavereceivedfromyourincomparablebounty，butforthatexcellentwitalso，primejudgment，andadmirablelearningwherewithAlmightyGod，thegiverofallgoodthings，hathmostrichlyqualifiedandendowedyou，wetenderandpresentuntoyouthedecisionofthisnew，strange，andparadoxicalcaseofBridlegoose；who，inyourpresence，toyourbothhearingandseeing，hathplainlyconfessedhisfinaljudginganddeterminatingofsuitsoflawbythemerechanceandfortuneofthedice。

Thereforedowebeseechyouthatyoumaybepleasedtogivesentencethereinasuntoyoushallseemmostjustandequitable。TothisPantagruelanswered:Gentlemen，itisnotunknowntoyouhowmyconditionissomewhatremotefromtheprofessionofdecidinglawcontroversies；yet，seeingyouarepleasedtodomethehonourtoputthattaskuponme，insteadofundergoingtheofficeofajudgeIwillbecomeyourhumblesupplicant。I

observe，gentlemen，inthisBridlegooseseveralthingswhichinducemetorepresentbeforeyouthatitismyopinionheshouldbepardoned。Inthefirstplace，hisoldage；secondly，hissimplicity；tobothwhichqualitiesourstatuteandcommonlaws，civilandmunicipaltogether，allowmanyexcusesforanyslipsorescapeswhich，throughtheinvincibleimperfectionofeither，havebeeninconsideratelystumbleduponbyapersonsoqualified。Thirdly，gentlemen，Imustneedsdisplaybeforeyouanothercase，whichinequityandjusticemakethmuchfortheadvantageofBridlegoose，towit，thatthisone，sole，andsinglefaultofhisoughttobequiteforgotten，abolished，andswallowedupbythatimmenseandvastoceanofjustdoomsandsentenceswhichheretoforehehathgivenandpronounced；hisdemeanours，forthesefortyyearsandupwardsthathehathbeenajudge，havingbeensoevenlybalancedinthescalesofuprightness，thatenvyitselftillnowcouldnothavebeensoimpudentastoaccuseandtwithimwithanyactworthyofacheckorreprehension；as，ifadropoftheseawerethrownintotheLoire，nonecouldperceiveorsaythatbythissingledropthewholerivershouldbesaltandbrackish。

Truly，itseemethuntome，thatinthewholeseriesofBridlegoose\'sjuridicaldecreestherehathbeenIknownotwhatofextraordinarysavouringoftheunspeakablebenignityofGod，thatallthosehisprecedingsentences，awards，andjudgments，havebeenconfirmedandapprovedofbyyourselvesinthisyourownvenerableandsovereigncourt。Foritisusual，asyouknowwell，withhimwhosewaysareinscrutable，tomanifesthisownineffablegloryinbluntingtheperspicacyoftheeyesofthewise，inweakeningthestrengthofpotentoppressors，indepressingtheprideofrichextortioners，andinerecting，comforting，protecting，supporting，upholding，andshoringupthepoor，feeble，humble，silly，andfoolishonesoftheearth。But，waivingallthesematters，Ishallonlybeseechyou，notbytheobligationswhichyoupretendtoowetomyfamily，forwhichI

thankyou，butforthatconstantandunfeignedloveandaffectionwhichyouhavealwaysfoundinme，bothonthisandontheothersideofLoire，forthemaintenanceandestablishmentofyourplaces，offices，anddignities，thatforthisonetimeyouwouldpardonandforgivehimuponthesetwoconditions。First，thathesatisfy，orputasufficientsuretyforthesatisfactionofthepartywrongedbytheinjusticeofthesentenceinquestion。ForthefulfilmentofthisarticleIwillprovidesufficiently。

And，secondly，thatforhissubsidiaryaidintheweightychargeofadministratingjusticeyouwouldbepleasedtoappointandassignuntohimsomeprettylittlevirtuouscounsellor，younger，learneder，andwiserthanhe，bythesquareandruleofwhoseadvicehemayregulate，guide，temper，andmoderateintimescomingallhisjudiciaryprocedures；orotherwise，ifyouintendtotallytodeposehimfromhisoffice，andtodeprivehimaltogetherofthestateanddignityofajudge，Ishallcordiallyentreatyoutomakeapresentandfreegiftofhimtome，whoshallfindinmykingdomschargesandemploymentsenoughwherewithtoembusyhim，forthebetteringofhisownfortunesandfurtheranceofmyservice。Inthemeantime，IimploretheCreator，Saviour，andSanctifierofallgoodthings，inhisgrace，mercy，andkindness，topreserveyouallnowandevermore，worldwithoutend。

Thesewordsthusspoken，Pantagruel，vailinghiscapandmakingalegwithsuchamajesticgarbasbecameapersonofhisparamountdegreeandeminency，farewelledTrinquamelle，thepresidentandmaster-speakerofthatMirelinguesianparliament，tookhisleaveofthewholecourt，andwentoutofthechamber；atthedoorwhereoffindingPanurge，Epistemon，FriarJohn，andothers，heforthwith，attendedbythem，walkedtotheoutergate，whereallofthemimmediatelytookhorsetoreturntowardsGargantua。PantagruelbythewayrelatedtothemfrompointtopointthemannerofBridlegoose\'ssententiatingdifferencesatlaw。FriarJohnsaidthathehadseenPeterDandin，andwasacquaintedwithhimatthattimewhenhesojournedinthemonasteryofFontaineleComte，underthenobleAbbotArdillon。GymnastlikewiseaffirmedthathewasinthetentofthegrandChristiancavalierDeCrissie，whentheGascon，afterhissleep，madeanswertotheadventurer。PanurgewassomewhatincredulousinthematterofbelievingthatitwasmorallypossibleBridlegooseshouldhavebeenforsuchalongspaceoftimesocontinuallyfortunateinthataleatorywayofdecidinglawdebates。EpistemonsaidtoPantagruel，Suchanotherstory，notmuchunliketothatinallthecircumstancesthereof，isvulgarlyreportedoftheprovostofMontlehery。Ingoodsooth，suchaperpetuityofgoodluckistobewonderedat。Tohavehitrighttwiceorthriceinajudgmentsogivenbyhaphazardmighthavefallenoutwellenough，especiallyincontroversiesthatwereambiguous，intricate，abstruse，perplexed，andobscure。

Chapter3。XLIV。

HowPantagruelrelatethastrangehistoryoftheperplexityofhumanjudgment。

Seeingyoutalk，quothPantagruel，ofdark，difficult，hard，andknottydebates，IwilltellyouofonecontrovertedbeforeCneiusDolabella，proconsulinAsia。Thecasewasthis。

AwifeinSmyrnahadofherfirsthusbandachildnamedAbece。Hedying，she，aftertheexpiringofayearandday，marriedagain，andtohersecondhusbandboreaboycalledEffege。Aprettylongtimethereafterithappened，asyouknowtheaffectionofstepfathersandstepdamsisveryraretowardsthechildrenofthefirstfathersandmothersdeceased，thatthishusband，withthehelpofhissonEffege，secretly，wittingly，willingly，andtreacherouslymurderedAbece。Thewomancamenosoonertogetinformationofthefact，but，thatitmightnotgounpunished，shecausedkillthemboth，torevengethedeathofherfirstson。ShewasapprehendedandcarriedbeforeCneiusDolabella，inwhosepresenceshe，withoutdissemblinganything，confessedallthatwaslaidtohercharge；

yetallegedthatshehadbothrightandreasononhersideforthekillingofthem。Thuswasthestateofthequestion。Hefoundthebusinesssodubiousandintricate，thatheknewnotwhattodeterminetherein，norwhichofthepartiestoinclineto。Ontheotherhand，itwasanexecrablecrimetocutoffatoncebothhersecondhusbandandherson。Ontheotherhand，thecauseofthemurderseemedtobesonatural，astobegroundeduponthelawofnationsandtherationalinstinctofallthepeopleoftheworld，seeingtheytwotogetherhadfeloniouslyandmurderouslydestroyedherfirstson；notthattheyhadbeeninanymannerofwaywronged，outraged，orinjuredbyhim，butoutofanavariciousintenttopossesshisinheritance。Inthisdoubtfulquandaryanduncertaintywhattopitchupon，hesenttotheAreopagitesthensittingatAthenstolearnandobtaintheiradviceandjudgment。Thatjudicioussenate，verysagelyperpendingthereasonsofhisperplexity，senthimwordtosummonherpersonallytocompearbeforehimaprecisehundredyearsthereafter，toanswertosomeinterrogatoriestouchingcertainpointswhichwerenotcontainedintheverbaldefence。Whichresolutionoftheirsdidimportthatitwasintheiropinionasodifficultandinextricablematterthattheyknewnotwhattosayorjudgetherein。Whohaddecidedthatpleabythechanceandfortuneofthedice，couldnothaveerrednorawardedamissonwhichsidesoeverhehadpassedhiscastingandcondemnatorysentence。Ifagainstthewoman，shedeservedpunishmentforusurpingsovereignauthoritybytakingthatvengeanceatherownhand，theinflictingwhereofwasonlycompetenttothesupremepowertoadministerjusticeincriminalcases。Ifforher，thejustresentmentofasoatrociousinjurydoneuntoher，inmurderingherinnocentson，didfullyexcuseandvindicateherofanytrespassoroffenceaboutthatparticularcommittedbyher。ButthiscontinuationofBridlegooseforsomanyyearsstillhittingthenailonthehead，nevermissingthemark，andalwaysjudgingaright，bythemerethrowingofthediceandchancethereof，isthatwhichmostastonishethandamazethme。

Toanswer，quothPantagruel(Epistemon，saystheEnglisheditionof1694，followingthereadingofthemodernFrencheditions。LeDuchathaspointedoutthemistake——M。)，categoricallytothatwhichyouwonderat，ImustingeniouslyconfessandavowthatIcannot；yet，conjecturallytoguessatthereasonofit，Iwouldreferthecauseofthatmarvellouslylong-

continuedhappysuccessinthejudiciaryresultsofhisdefinitivesentencestothefavourableaspectoftheheavensandbenignityoftheintelligences；who，outoftheirlovetogoodness，afterhavingcontemplatedthepuresimplicityandsincereunfeignednessofJudgeBridlegooseintheacknowledgmentofhisinabilities，didregulatethatforhimbychancewhichbytheprofoundestactofhismaturestdeliberationhewasnotabletoreachunto。That，likewise，whichpossiblymadehimtodiffideinhisownskillandcapacity，notwithstandinghisbeinganexpertandunderstandinglawyer，foranythingthatIknowtothecontrary，wastheknowledgeandexperiencewhichhehadoftheantinomies，contrarieties，antilogies，contradictions，traversings，andthwartingsoflaws，customs，edicts，statutes，orders，andordinances，inwhichdangerousopposition，equityandjusticebeingstructuredandfoundedoneitheroftheoppositeterms，andagapbeingtherebyopenedfortheusheringinofinjusticeandiniquitythroughthevariousinterpretationsofself-endedlawyers，beingassuredlypersuadedthattheinfernalcalumniator，whofrequentlytransformethhimselfintothelikenessofamessengerorangeloflight，makethuseofthesecrossglossesandexpositionsinthemouthsandpensofhisministersandservants，theperverseadvocates，bribingjudges，law-

mongingattorneys，prevaricatingcounsellors，andothersuch-likelaw-

wrestingmembersofacourtofjustice，toturnbythosemeansblacktowhite，greentogrey，andwhatisstraighttoacrookedply。Forthemoreexpedientdoingwhereof，thesediabolicalministersmakeboththepleadingpartiesbelievethattheircauseisjustandrighteous；foritiswellknownthatthereisnocause，howbadsoever，whichdothnotfindanadvocatetopatrocinateanddefendit，——elsewouldtherebenoprocessintheworld，nosuitsatlaw，norpleadingsatthebar。Hedidintheseextremities，asIconceive，mosthumblyrecommendthedirectionofhisjudicialproceedingstotheuprightjudgeofjudges，GodAlmighty；didsubmithimselftotheconductandguideshipoftheblessedSpiritinthehazardandperplexityofthedefinitivesentence，and，bythisaleatorylot，didasitwereimploreandexplorethedivinedecreeofhisgoodwillandpleasure，insteadofthatwhichwecallthefinaljudgmentofacourt。

Tothiseffect，tothebetterattainingtohispurpose，whichwastojudgerighteously，hedid，inmyopinion，throwandturnthedice，totheendthatbytheprovidenceaforesaidthebestchancemightfalltohimwhoseactionwasuprightest，andbackedwithgreatestreason。IndoingwhereofhedidnotstrayfromthesenseofTalmudists，whosaythatthereissolittleharminthatmannerofsearchingthetruth，thatintheanxietyandperplexednessofhumanwitsGodoftentimesmanifesteththesecretpleasureofhisdivinewill。

Furthermore，Iwillneitherthinknorsay，norcanIbelieve，thattheunstraightnessissoirregular，orthecorruptionsoevident，ofthoseoftheparliamentofMirelingoisinMirelingues，beforewhomBridlegoosewasarraignedforprevarication，thattheywillmaintainittobeaworsepracticetohavethedecisionofasuitatlawreferredtothechanceandhazardofathrowofthedice，habnab，orluckasitwill，thantohaveitremittedtoandpassedbythedeterminationofthosewhosehandsarefullofbloodandheartsofwryaffections。Besidesthat，theirprincipaldirectioninalllawmatterscomestotheirhandsfromoneTribonian，awicked，miscreant，barbarous，faithlessandperfidiousknave，sopernicious，unjust，avaricious，andperverseinhisways，thatitwashisordinarycustomtoselllaws，edicts，declarations，constitutions，andordinances，asatanoutrooporputsale，tohimwhoofferedmostforthem。

Thusdidheshapemeasuresforthepleaders，andcuttheirmorselstothembyandoutoftheselittleparcels，fragments，bits，scantlings，andshredsofthelawnowinuse，altogetherconcealing，suppressing，disannulling，andabolishingtheremainder，whichdidmakeforthetotallaw；fearingthat，ifthewholelawweremademanifestandlaidopentotheknowledgeofsuchasareinterestedinit，andthelearnedbooksoftheancientdoctorsofthelawupontheexpositionoftheTwelveTablesandPraetorianEdicts，hisvillainouspranks，naughtiness，andvileimpietyshouldcometothepublicnoticeoftheworld。Thereforewereitbetter，inmyconceit，thatistosay，lessinconvenient，thatpartiesatvarianceinanyjuridicalcaseshouldinthedarkmarchuponcaltropsthansubmitthedeterminationofwhatistheirrighttosuchunhallowedsentencesandhorribledecrees；

asCatoinhistimewishedandadvisedthateveryjudiciarycourtshouldbepavedwithcaltrops。