第16章

Chapter3。XLV。

HowPanurgetakethadviceofTriboulet。

OnthesixthdaythereafterPantagruelwasreturnedhomeattheverysamehourthatTribouletwasbywatercomefromBlois。Panurge，athisarrival，gavehimahog\'sbladderpuffedupwithwind，andresoundingbecauseofthehardpeasthatwerewithinit。Moreoverhedidpresenthimwithagiltwoodensword，ahollowbudgetmadeofatortoiseshell，anosier-wattledwicker-bottlefullofBretonwine，andfive-and-twentyapplesoftheorchardofBlandureau。

Ifhebesuchafool，quothCarpalin，astobewonwithapples，thereisnomorewitinhispatethanintheheadofanordinarycabbage。Tribouletgirdedtheswordandscriptohisside，tookthebladderinhishand，atesomefewoftheapples，anddrunkupallthewine。Panurgeverywistlyandheedfullylookinguponhimsaid，Ineveryetsawafool，andIhaveseententhousandfrancsworthofthatkindofcattle，whodidnotlovetodrinkheartily，andbygoodlongdraughts。WhenTriboulethaddonewithhisdrinking，Panurgelaidoutbeforehimandexposedthesumofthebusinesswhereinhewastorequirehisadvice，ineloquentandchoicely-sortedterms，adornedwithflourishesofrhetoric。But，beforehehadaltogetherdone，Tribouletwithhisfistgavehimabouncingwhirretbetweentheshoulders，renderedbackintohishandagaintheemptybottle，fillippedandflirtedhiminthenosewiththehog\'sbladder，andlastly，forafinalresolution，shakingandwagginghisheadstronglyanddisorderly，heanswerednothingelsebutthis，ByGod，God，madfool，bewarethemonk，Buzansayhornpipe！Thesewordsthusfinished，heslippedhimselfoutofthecompany，wentaside，and，rattlingthebladder，tookahugedelightinthemelodyofthericklingcracklingnoiseofthepeas。Afterwhichtimeitlaynotinthepowerofthemalltodrawoutofhischapsthearticulatesoundofonesyllable，insomuchthat，whenPanurgewentabouttointerrogatehimfurther，Tribouletdrewhiswoodensword，andwouldhavestuckhimtherewith。Ihavefishedfairnow，quothPanurge，andbroughtmypigstoafinemarket。HaveInotgotabravedeterminationofallmydoubts，andaresponseinallthingsagreeabletotheoraclethatgaveit？

Heisagreatfool，thatisnottobedenied，yetisheagreaterfoolwhobroughthimhithertome，——Thatbolt，quothCarpalin，levelspoint-blankatme，——butofthethreeIamthegreatestfool，whodidimpartthesecretofmythoughtstosuchanidiotassandnativeninny。

Withoutputtingourselvestoanystirortroubleintheleast，quothPantagruel，letusmaturelyandseriouslyconsiderandperpendthegesturesandspeechwhichhehathmadeanduttered。Inthem，veritably，quothhe，haveIremarkedandobservedsomeexcellentandnotablemysteries；yea，ofsuchimportantworthandweight，thatIshallneverhenceforthbeastonished，northinkstrange，whytheTurkswithagreatdealofworshipandreverencehonourandrespectnaturalfoolsequallywiththeirprimestdoctors，muftis，divines，andprophets。Didnotyoutakeheed，quothhe，alittlebeforeheopenedhismouthtospeak，whatashogging，shaking，andwagginghisheaddidkeep？Bytheapproveddoctrineoftheancientphilosophers，thecustomaryceremoniesofthemostexpertmagicians，andthereceivedopinionsofthelearnedestlawyers，suchabranglingagitationandmovingshouldbyusallbejudgedtoproceedfrom，andbequickenedandsuscitatedbythecomingandinspirationoftheprophetizingandfatidicalspirit，which，enteringbrisklyandonasuddenintoashallowreceptacleofadebilesubstance(for，asyouknow，andastheproverbshowsit，alittleheadcontainethnotmuchbrains)，wasthecauseofthatcommotion。

Thisisconformtowhatisavouchedbythemostskilfulphysicians，whentheyaffirmthatshakingsandtremblingsfalluponthemembersofahumanbody，partlybecauseoftheheavinessandviolentimpetuosityoftheburdenandloadthatiscarried，and，otherpart，byreasonoftheweaknessandimbecilitythatisinthevirtueofthebearingorgan。Amanifestexamplewhereofappearethinthosewho，fasting，arenotabletocarrytotheirheadagreatgobletfullofwinewithoutatremblingandashakinginthehandthatholdsit。ThisofoldwasaccountedaprefigurationandmysticalpointingoutofthePythiandivineress，whousedalways，beforetheutteringofaresponsefromtheoracle，toshakeabranchofherdomesticlaurel。LampridiusalsotestifieththattheEmperorHeliogabalus，toacquireuntohimselfthereputationofasoothsayer，did，onseveralholydaysofprimesolemnnity，inthepresenceofthefanaticrabble，maketheheadofhisidolbysomeslightwithinthebodythereofpubliclytoshake。

Plautus，inhisAsinaria，declarethlikewise，thatSaurias，whithersoeverhewalked，likeonequitedistractedofhiswitskeptsuchafuriouslollingandmad-likeshakingofhishead，thathecommonlyaffrightedthosewhocasuallymetwithhiminhisway。Thesaidauthorinanotherplace，showingareasonwhyCharmidesshookandbrangledhishead，asseveredthathewastransportedandinanecstasy。Catullusafterthesamemannermakethmention，inhisBerecynthiaandAtys，oftheplacewhereintheMenades，Bacchicalwomen，she-priestsoftheLyaeangod，anddementedprophetesses，carryingivyboughsintheirhands，didshaketheirheads。

Asinthelikecase，amongsttheGalli，thegeldedpriestsofCybelewerewonttodointhecelebratingoftheirfestivals。Whence，too，accordingtothesenseoftheancienttheologues，sheherselfhasherdenomination，for(Greek)signifiethtoturnround，whirlabout，shakethehead，andplaythepartofonethatiswry-necked。

SemblablyTitusLiviuswriteththat，inthesolemnizationtimeoftheBacchanalianholidaysatRome，bothmenandwomenseemedtoprophetizeandvaticinate，becauseofanaffectedkindofwaggingofthehead，shruggingoftheshoulders，andjectigationofthewholebody，whichtheyusedthenmostpunctually。Forthecommonvoiceofthephilosophers，togetherwiththeopinionofthepeople，assertethforanirrefragabletruththatvaticinationisseldombytheheavensbestowedonanywithouttheconcomitancyofalittlefrenzyandahead-shaking，notonlywhenthesaidpresagingvirtueisinfused，butwhenthepersonalsotherewithinspireddeclarethandmanifestethituntoothers。ThelearnedlawyerJulian，beingaskedonatimeifthatslavemightbetrulyesteemedtobehealthfulandinagoodplightwhohadnotonlyconversedwithsomefurious，maniac，andenragedpeople，butintheircompanyhadalsoprophesied，yetwithoutanoddle-shakingconcussion，answeredthat，seeingtherewasnohead-waggingatthetimeofhispredictions，hemightbeheldforsoundandcompotentenough。Isitnotdailyseenhowschoolmasters，teachers，tutors，andinstructorsofchildrenshaketheheadsoftheirdisciples，asonewoulddoapotinholdingitbythelugs，thatbythiserection，vellication，stretching，andpullingtheirears，which，accordingtothedoctrineofthesageEgyptians，isamemberconsecratedtothememory，theymaystirthemuptorecollecttheirscatteredthoughts，bringhomethosefanciesoftheirswhichperhapshavebeenextravagantlyroamingabroaduponstrangeanduncouthobjects，andtotallyrangetheirjudgments，whichpossiblybydisordinateaffectionshavebeenmadewild，totheruleandpatternofawise，discreet，virtuous，andphilosophicaldiscipline。AllwhichVirgilacknowledgethtobetrue，inthebranglementofApolloCynthius。

Chapter3。XLVI。

HowPantagruelandPanurgediverselyinterpretthewordsofTriboulet。

Hesaysyouareafool。Andwhatkindoffool？Amadfool，whoinyouroldagewouldenslaveyourselftothebondageofmatrimony，andshutyourpleasuresupwithinawedlockwhosekeysomeruffiancarriesinhiscodpiece。Hesaysfurthermore，Bewareofthemonk。Uponminehonour，itgivesmeinmymindthatyouwillbecuckoldedbyamonk。Nay，Iwillengageminehonour，whichisthemostpreciouspawnIcouldhaveinmypossessionalthoughIweresoleandpeaceabledominatoroverallEurope，Asia，andAfrica，that，ifyoumarry，youwillsurelybeoneofthehornedbrotherhoodofVulcan。HerebymayyouperceivehowmuchIdoattributetothewisefooleryofourmorosophTriboulet。Theotheroraclesandresponsesdidinthegeneralprognosticateyouacuckold，withoutdescendingsoneartothepointofaparticulardeterminationastopitchuponwhatvocationamongsttheseveralsortsofmenheshouldprofesswhoistobethecopesmateofyourwifeandhornifierofyourproperself。

ThusnobleTriboulettellsitusplainly，fromwhosewordswemaygatherwithalleaseimaginablethatyourcuckoldryistobeinfamous，andsomuchthemorescandalousthatyourconjugalbedwillbeincestuouslycontaminatedwiththefilthinessofamonkerylecher。Moreover，hesaysthatyouwillbethehornpipeofBuzansay，thatistosay，well-horned，hornified，andcornuted。And，asTriboulet\'suncleaskedfromLouistheTwelfth，forayoungerbrotherofhisownwholivedatBlois，thehornpipesofBuzansay，fortheorganpipes，throughthemistakeofonewordforanother，evenso，whilstyouthinktomarryawise，humble，calm，discreet，andhonestwife，youshallunhappilystumbleupononewitless，proud，loud，obstreperous，bawling，clamorous，andmoreunpleasantthananyBuzansayhornpipe。Considerwithalhowheflirtedyouonthenosewiththebladder，andgaveyouasoundthumpingblowwithhisfistupontheridgeoftheback。Thisdenotatesandpresageththatyoushallbebanged，beaten，andfillippedbyher，andthatalsoshewillstealofyourgoodsfromyou，asyoustolethehog\'sbladderfromthelittleboysofVaubreton。

Flatcontrary，quothPanurge；——notthatIwouldimpudentlyexemptmyselffrombeingavassalintheterritoryoffolly。Iholdofthatjurisdiction，andamsubjectthereto，Iconfessit。AndwhyshouldInot？

Forthewholeworldisfoolish。IntheoldLorrainelanguage，foufortou，allandfool，werethesamething。Besides，itisavouchedbySolomonthatinfiniteisthenumberoffools。Fromaninfinitynothingcanbedeductedorabated，noryet，bythetestimonyofAristotle，cananythingtheretobeaddedorsubjoined。ThereforewereIamadfoolif，beingafool，Ishouldnotholdmyselfafool。Afterthesamemannerofspeaking，wemayaverthenumberofthemadandenragedfolkstobeinfinite。Avicennamakethnobonestoassertthattheseveralkindsofmadnessareinfinite。ThoughthismuchofTriboulet\'swordstendlittletomyadvantage，howbeittheprejudicewhichIsustaintherebybecommonwithmetoallothermen，yettherestofhistalkandgesturemakethaltogetherforme。Hesaidtomywife，Bewaryofthemonkey；thatisasmuchasifsheshouldbecheery，andtakeasmuchdelightinamonkeyaseverdidtheLesbiaofCatullusinhersparrow；whowillforhisrecreationpasshistimenolessjoyfullyattheexerciseofsnatchingfliesthanheretoforedidthemercilessfly-

catcherDomitian。Withalhemeant，byanotherpartofhisdiscourse，thatsheshouldbeofajovialcountry-likehumour，asgayandpleasingasaharmonioushornpipeofSaulieauorBuzansay。TheveridicalTribouletdidthereinhintatwhatIlikedwell，asperfectlyknowingtheinclinationsandpropensionsofmymind，mynaturaldisposition，andthebiasofmyinteriorpassionsandaffections。Foryoumaybeassuredthatmyhumourismuchbettersatisfiedandcontentedwiththepretty，frolic，rural，dishevelledshepherdesses，whosebumsthroughtheircoarsecanvassmockssmelloftheclovergrassofthefield，thanwiththosegreatladiesinmagnificcourts，withtheirflandantop-knotsandsultanas，theirpolvil，pastillos，andcosmetics。Thehomelysound，likewise，ofarusticalhornpipeismoreagreeabletomyearsthanthecuriouswarblingandmusicalquaveringoflutes，theorbos，viols，rebecs，andviolins。Hegavemealustyrappingthwackonmyback，——whatthen？Letitpass，inthenameandfortheloveofGod，asanabatementofanddeductionfromsomuchofmyfuturepainsinpurgatory。Hediditnotoutofanyevilintent。Hethought，belike，tohavehitsomeofthepages。Heisanhonestfool，andaninnocentchangeling。Itisasintoharbourintheheartanybadconceitofhim。Asformyself，Iheartilypardonhim。Heflirtedmeonthenose。Inthatthereisnoharm；foritimportethnothingelsebutthatbetwixtmywifeandmetherewilloccursometoyishwantontrickswhichusuallyhappentoallnew-marriedfolks。

Chapter3。XLVII。

HowPantagruelandPanurgeresolvedtomakeavisittotheoracleoftheholybottle。

Thereisasyetanotherpoint，quothPanurge，whichyouhavenotatallconsideredon，althoughitbethechiefandprincipalheadofthematter。

Heputthebottleinmyhandandrestoreditmeagain。Howinterpretyouthatpassage？Whatisthemeaningofthat？Hepossibly，quothPantagruel，signifieththerebythatyourwifewillbesuchadrunkardasshalldailytakeinherliquorkindly，andplythepotsandbottlesapace。Quiteotherwise，quothPanurge；forthebottlewasempty。Isweartoyou，bythepricklingbramblythornofSt。FiacreinBrie，thatouruniquemorosoph，whomIformerlytermedthelunaticTriboulet，referrethme，forattainingtothefinalresolutionofmyscruple，totheresponse-givingbottle。

ThereforedoIrenewafreshthefirstvowwhichImade，andhereinyourpresenceprotestandmakeoath，byStyxandAcheron，tocarrystillspectaclesinmycap，andnevertowearacodpieceinmybreeches，untilupontheenterpriseinhandofmynuptialundertakingIshallhaveobtainedananswerfromtheholybottle。Iamacquaintedwithaprudent，understanding，anddiscreetgentleman，andbesidesaverygoodfriendofmine，whoknoweththeland，country，andplacewhereitstempleandoracleisbuiltandposited。Hewillguideandconductusthithersureandsafely。Letusgothither，Ibeseechyou。Denymenot，andsaynotnay；

rejectnotthesuitImakeuntoyou，Ientreatyou。IwillbetoyouanAchates，aDamis，andheartilyaccompanyyouallalonginthewholevoyage，bothinyourgoingforthandcomingback。Ihaveofalongtimeknownyoutobeagreatloverofperegrination，desirousstilltolearnnewthings，andstilltoseewhatyouhadneverseenbefore。

Verywillingly，quothPantagruel，Icondescendtoyourrequest。Butbeforeweenterinuponourprogresstowardstheaccomplishmentofsofarajourney，replenishedandfraughtwitheminentperils，fullofinnumerablehazards，andeverywaystoredwithevidentandmanifestdangers，——Whatdangers？quothPanurge，interruptinghim。Dangersflyback，runfrom，andshunmewhithersoeverIgo，sevenleaguesaround，asinthepresenceofthesovereignasubordinatemagistracyiseclipsed；orascloudsanddarknessquiteevanishatthebrightcomingofaradiantsun；orasallsoresandsicknessesdidsuddenlydepartattheapproachofthebodyofSt。MartinaQuande。Nevertheless，quothPantagruel，beforeweadventuretosetforwardsontheroadofourprojectedandintendedvoyage，somefewpointsaretobediscussed，expedited，anddespatched。First，letussendbackTriboulettoBlois。Whichwasinstantlydone，afterthatPantagruelhadgivenhimafriezecoat。Secondly，ourdesignmustbebackedwiththeadviceandcounselofthekingmyfather。And，lastly，itismostneedfulandexpedientforusthatwesearchforandfindoutsomesibyltoserveusforaguide，truchman，andinterpreter。TothisPanurgemadeanswer，thathisfriendXenomaneswouldabundantlysufficefortheplenarydischargeandperformanceofthesibyl\'soffice；andthat，furthermore，inpassingthroughtheLanternatoryrevellingcountry，theyshouldtakealongwiththemalearnedandprofitableLanternesse，whichwouldbenolessusefultothemintheirvoyagethanwasthesibyltoAeneasinhisdescenttotheElysianfields。Carpalin，intheinterim，ashewasupontheconductingawayofTriboulet，inhispassingbyhearkenedalittletothediscoursetheywereupon；thenspokeout，saying，Ho，Panurge，masterfreeman，takemyLordDebitisatCalaisalongstwithyou，forheisgoud-fallot，agoodfellow。Hewillnotforgetthosewhohavebeendebitors；theseareLanternes。Thusshallyounotlackforbothfallotandlanterne。ImaysafelywiththelittleskillIhave，quothPantagruel，prognosticatethatbythewayweshallengendernomelancholy。Iclearlyperceiveitalready。

Theonlythingthatvexethmeis，thatIcannotspeaktheLanternatorylanguage。Ishall，answeredPanurge，speakforyouall。IunderstanditeverywhitaswellasIdomineownmaternaltongue；IhavebeennolessusedtoitthantothevulgarFrench。

Briszmargdalgotbricknubstznezos。

Isquebszprusq:albokcrinqszacbac。

Mizbedilbarskzmorpnippstanczbos，Strombtz，Panurge，walmapquostgruszbac。

Nowguess，friendEpistemon，whatthisis。Theyare，quothEpistemon，namesoferrantdevils，passantdevils，andrampantdevils。Thesewordsofthine，dearfriendofmine，aretrue，quothPanurge；yetaretheytermsusedinthelanguageofthecourtoftheLanternishpeople。Bytheway，aswegouponourjourney，Iwillmaketotheeaprettylittledictionary，which，notwithstanding，shallnotlastyoumuchlongerthanapairofnewshoes。Thoushalthavelearneditsoonerthanthoucanstperceivethedawningofthenextsubsequentmorning。WhatIhavesaidintheforegoingtetrastichisthustranslatedoutoftheLanternishtongueintoourvulgardialect:

Allmiseriesattendedme，whilstI

Aloverwas，andhadnogoodthereby。

Ofbetterluckthemarriedpeopletell；

Panurgeisoneofthose，andknowsitwell。

Thereislittlemore，then，quothPantagruel，tobedone，butthatweunderstandwhatthewillofthekingmyfatherwillbetherein，andpurchasehisconsent。

Chapter3。XLVIII。

HowGargantuashoweththatthechildrenoughtnottomarrywithoutthespecialknowledgeandadviceoftheirfathersandmothers。

NosoonerhadPantagruelenteredinatthedoorofthegreathallofthecastle，thanthatheencounteredfullbuttwiththegoodhonestGargantuacomingforthfromthecouncilboard，untowhomhemadeasuccinctandsummarynarrativeofwhathadpassedandoccurred，worthyofhisobservation，inhistravelsabroad，sincetheirlastinterview；then，acquaintinghimwiththedesignhehadinhand，besoughthimthatitmightstandwithhisgoodwillandpleasuretogranthimleavetoprosecuteandgothrough-stitchwiththeenterprisewhichhehadundertaken。ThegoodmanGargantua，havinginonehandtwogreatbundlesofpetitionsendorsedandanswered，andintheothersomeremembrancingnotesandbills，toputhiminmindofsuchotherrequestsofsupplicants，which，albeitpresented，hadneverthelessbeenneitherreadnorheard，hegavebothtoUlricGallet，hisancientandfaithfulMasterofRequests；thendrewasidePantagruel，and，withacountenancemoresereneandjovialthancustomary，spoketohimthus:IpraiseGod，andhavegreatreasonsotodo，mymostdearson，thathehathbeenpleasedtoentertaininyouaconstantinclinationtovirtuousactions。Iamwellcontentthatthevoyagewhichyouhavemotionedtomebebyyouaccomplished，butwithalIcouldwishyouwouldhaveamindanddesiretomarry，forthatIseeyouareofcompetentyears。Panurgeinthemeanwhilewasinareadinessofpreparingandprovidingforremedies，salves，andcuresagainstallsuchlets，obstacles，andimpedimentsashecouldintheheightofhisfancyconceivemightbyGargantuabecastinthewayoftheiritinerarydesign。Isityourpleasure，mostdearfather，thatyouspeak？answeredPantagruel。Formypart，Ihavenotyetthoughtuponit。InallthisaffairIwhollysubmitandrestinyourgoodlikingandpaternalauthority。ForIshallratherprayuntoGodthathewouldthrowmedownstarkdeadatyourfeet，inyourpleasure，thanthatagainstyourpleasureIshouldbefoundmarriedalive。Ineveryetheardthatbyanylaw，whethersacredorprofane，yea，amongsttherudestandmostbarbarousnationsintheworld，itwasallowedandapprovedofthatchildrenmaybesufferedandtoleratedtomarryattheirowngoodwillandpleasure，withouttheknowledge，advice，orconsentaskedandhadtheretooftheirfathers，mothers，andnearestkindred。Alllegislators，everywhereuponthefaceofthewholeearth，havetakenawayandremovedthislicentiouslibertyfromchildren，andtotallyreservedittothediscretionoftheparents。

Mydearlybelovedson，quothGargantua，Ibelieveyou，andfrommyheartthankGodforhavingendowedyouwiththegraceofhavingbothaperfectnoticeofandentirelikingtolaudableandpraiseworthythings；andthatthroughthewindowsofyourexteriorsenseshehathvouchsafedtotransmituntotheinteriorfacultiesofyourmindnothingbutwhatisgoodandvirtuous。Forinmytimetherehathbeenfoundonthecontinentacertaincountry，whereinareIknownotwhatkindofPastophorianmole-catchingpriests，who，albeitaversefromengagingtheirproperpersonsintoamatrimonialduty，likethepontificalflamensofCybeleinPhrygia，asiftheywerecapons，andnotcocksfulloflasciviousness，salacity，andwantonness，whoyethave，nevertheless，inthematterofconjugalaffairs，takenuponthemtoprescribelawsandordinancestomarriedfolks。I

cannotgoodlydeterminewhatIshouldmostabhor，detest，loathe，andabominate，——whetherthetyrannicalpresumptionofthosedreadedsacerdotalmole-catchers，who，notbeingwillingtocontainandcoopupthemselveswithinthegratesandtrellisesoftheirownmysterioustemples，dodealin，meddlewith，obtrudeupon，andthrusttheirsicklesintoharvestsofsecularbusinessesquitecontraryanddiametricallyoppositetothequality，state，andconditionoftheircallings，professions，andvocations；orthesuperstitiousstupidityandsenselessscrupulousnessofmarriedfolks，whohaveyieldedobedience，andsubmittedtheirbodies，fortunes，andestatestothediscretionandauthorityofsuchodious，perverse，barbarous，andunreasonablelaws。Nordotheyseethatwhichisclearerthanthelightandsplendourofthemorningstar，——howallthesenuptialandconnubialsanctions，statutes，andordinanceshavebeendecreed，made，andinstitutedforthesolebenefit，profit，andadvantageoftheflaminalmystsandmysteriousflamens，andnothingatallforthegood，utility，oremolumentofthesillyhoodwinkedmarriedpeople。Whichadministerethuntoothersasufficientcauseforrenderingthesechurchmensuspiciousofiniquity，andofanunjustandfraudulentmannerofdealing，nomoretobeconnivedatnorcountenanced，afterthatitbewellweighedinthescalesofreason，thanifwithareciprocaltemeritythelaics，bywayofcompensation，wouldimposelawstobefollowedandobservedbythosemystsandflamens，howtheyshouldbehavethemselvesinthemakingandperformanceoftheirritesandceremonies，andafterwhatmannertheyoughttoproceedintheofferingupandimmolatingoftheirvariousoblations，victims，andsacrifices；seeingthat，besidesthedecimationandtithe-

halingoftheirgoods，theycutoffandtakeparings，shreddings，andclippingsofthegainproceedingfromthelabouroftheirhandsandsweatoftheirbrows，therewithtoentertainthemselvesthebetter。Uponwhichconsideration，inmyopinion，theirinjunctionsandcommandswouldnotprovesoperniciousandimpertinentasthoseoftheecclesiasticpoweruntowhichtheyhadtenderedtheirblindobedience。For，asyouhaveverywellsaid，thereisnoplaceintheworldwhere，legally，alicenceisgrantedtothechildrentomarrywithouttheadviceandconsentoftheirparentsandkindred。Nevertheless，bythosewickedlawsandmole-catchingcustoms，whereatthereisalittlehintedinwhatIhavealreadyspokentoyou，thereisnoscurvy，measly，leprous，orpockyruffian，pander，knave，rogue，skellum，robber，orthief，pilloried，whipped，andburn-markedinhisowncountryforhiscrimesandfelonies，whomaynotviolentlysnatchawayandravishwhatmaidsoeverhehadamindtopitchupon，hownoble，howfair，howrich，honest，andchastesoevershebe，andthatoutofthehouseofherownfather，inhisownpresence，fromthebosomofhermother，andinthesightanddespiteofherfriendsandkindredlookingonasowoefulspectacle，providedthattherascalvillainbesocunningastoassociateuntohimselfsomemysticalflamen，who，accordingtothecovenantmadebetwixtthemtwo，shallbeinhopesomedaytoparticipateoftheprey。

CouldtheGoths，theScyths，orMassagetsdoaworseormorecruelacttoanyoftheinhabitantsofahostilecity，when，afterthelossofmanyoftheirmostconsiderablecommanders，theexpenseofagreatdealofmoney，andalongsiege，theyshallhavestormedandtakenitbyaviolentandimpetuousassault？Maynotthesefathersandmothers，thinkyou，besorrowfulandheavy-heartedwhentheyseeanunknownfellow，avagabondstranger，abarbarouslout，arudecur，rotten，fleshless，putrified，scraggy，boily，botchy，poor，aforlorncaitiffandmiserablesneak，byanopenraptsnatchawaybeforetheirowneyestheirsofair，delicate，neat，well-behavioured，richly-provided-forandhealthfuldaughters，onwhosebreedingandeducationtheyhadsparednocostnorcharges，bybringingthemupinanhonestdisciplinetoallthehonourableandvirtuousemploymentsbecomingoneoftheirsexdescendedofanobleparentage，hopingbythosecommendableandindustriousmeansinanopportuneandconvenienttimetobestowthemontheworthysonsoftheirwell-deservingneighboursandancientfriends，whohadnourished，entertained，taught，instructed，andschooledtheirchildrenwiththesamecareandsolicitude，tomakethemmatchesfittoattaintothefelicityofasohappymarriage，thatfromthemmightissueanoffspringandprogenynolessheirstothelaudableendowmentsandexquisitequalificationsoftheirparents，whomtheyeverywayresemble，thantotheirpersonalandrealestates，movables，andinheritances？Howdoleful，trist，andplangorouswouldsuchasightandpageantryproveuntothem？YoushallnotneedtothinkthatthecollachrymationoftheRomansandtheirconfederatesatthedeceaseofGermanicusDrususwascomparabletothislamentationoftheirs？NeitherwouldIhaveyoutobelievethatthediscomfortandanxietyoftheLacedaemonians，whentheGreekHelen，bytheperfidiousnessoftheadulterousTrojan，Paris，wasprivilystolenawayoutoftheircountry，wasgreaterormorepitifulthanthisruthfulanddeplorablecollugencyoftheirs？YoumayverywellimaginethatCeresattheravishmentofherdaughterProserpinawasnotmoreattristed，sad，normournfulthanthey。

Trustme，andyourownreason，thatthelossofOsiriswasnotsoregrettabletoIsis，nordidVenussodeplorethedeathofAdonis，noryetdidHerculessobewailthestrayingofHylas，norwastheraptofPolyxenamorethrobbinglyresentedandcondoledbyPriamusandHecuba，thanthisaforesaidaccidentwouldbesympatheticallybemoaned，grievous，ruthful，andanxioustothewoefullydesolateanddisconsolateparents。

Notwithstandingallthis，thegreaterpartofsovilelyabusedparentsaresotimorousandafraidofdevilsandhobgoblins，andsodeeplyplungedinsuperstition，thattheydarenotgainsaynorcontradict，muchlessopposeandresistthoseunnaturalandimpiousactions，whenthemole-catcherhathbeenpresentattheperpetratingofthefact，andapartycontractorandcovenanterinthatdetestablebargain。Whatdotheydothen？Theywretchedlystayattheirownmiserablehomes，destituteoftheirwell-

beloveddaughters，thefatherscursingthedaysandthehourswhereintheyweremarried，andthemothershowlingandcryingthatitwasnottheirfortunetohavebroughtforthabortiveissueswhentheyhappenedtobedeliveredofsuchunfortunategirls，andinthispitifulplightspendatbesttheremainderoftheirtimewithtearsandweepingforthosetheirchildren，ofandfromwhomtheyexpected，(and，withgoodreason，shouldhaveobtainedandreaped，)intheselatterdaysoftheirs，joyandcomfort。

Otherparentstherehavebeen，soimpatientofthataffrontandindignityputuponthemandtheirfamilies，that，transportedwiththeextremityofpassion，inamadandfranticmood，throughthevehemencyofagrievousfuryandragingsorrow，havedrowned，hanged，killed，andotherwiseputviolenthandsonthemselves。Others，again，ofthatparentalrelationhave，uponthereceptionofthelikeinjury，beenofamoremagnanimousandheroicspirit，who，inimitationandattheexampleofthechildrenofJacobrevengingupontheSichemitestheraptoftheirsisterDinah，havingfoundtherascallyruffianintheassociationofhismysticalmole-catchercloselyandinhugger-muggerconferring，parleying，andcomingwiththeirdaughters，forthesuborning，corrupting，depraving，perverting，andenticingtheseinnocentunexperiencedmaidsuntofilthylewdnesses，have，withoutanyfurtheradvisementonthematter，cuttheminstantlyintopieces，andthereuponforthwiththrownoutuponthefieldstheirsodismemberedbodies，toserveforfooduntothewolvesandravens。Uponthechivalrous，bold，andcourageousachievementofasovaliant，stout，andmanlikeact，theothermole-catchingsymmystshavebeensohighlyincensed，andhavesochafed，fretted，andfumedthereat，that，billsofcomplaintandaccusationshavingbeeninamostodiousanddetestablemannerputinbeforethecompetentjudges，thearmofsecularauthorityhathwithmuchimportunityandimpetuositybeenbythemimploredandrequired，theyproudlycontendingthattheservantsofGodwouldbecomecontemptibleifexemplarypunishmentwerenotspeedilytakenuponthepersonsoftheperpetratorsofsuchanenormous，horrid，sacrilegious，crying，heinous，andexecrablecrime。

Yetneitherbynaturalequity，bythelawofnations，norbyanyimperiallawwhatsoever，haththerebeenfoundsomuchasonerubric，paragraph，point，ortittle，bythewhichanykindofchastisementorcorrectionhathbeenadjudgedduetobeinflicteduponanyfortheirdelinquencyinthatkind。Reasonopposeth，andnatureisrepugnant。Forthereisnovirtuousmanintheworldwhobothnaturallyandwithgoodreasonwillnotbemorehugelytroubledinmind，hearingofthenewsoftherapt，disgrace，ignominy，anddishonourofhisdaughter，thanofherdeath。Nowanyman，findinginhotbloodonewhowithaforethoughtfelonyhathmurderedhisdaughter，may，withouttyinghimselftotheformalitiesandcircumstancesofalegalproceeding，killhimonasuddenandoutofhandwithoutincurringanyhazardofbeingattaintedandapprehendedbytheofficersofjusticeforsodoing。Whatwonderisitthen？Orhowlittlestrangeshoulditappeartoanyrationalman，ifalecheringrogue，togetherwithhismole-catchingabettor，beentrappedintheflagrantactofsuborninghisdaughter，andstealingheroutofhishouse，thoughherselfconsentthereto，thatthefatherinsuchacaseofstainandinfamybythembroughtuponhisfamily，shouldputthembothtoashamefuldeath，andcasttheircarcassesupondunghillstobedevouredandeatenupbydogsandswine，orotherwiseflingthemalittlefurtherofftothedireption，tearing，andrendingasunderoftheirjointsandmembersbythewildbeastsofthefield(asunworthytoreceivethegentle，thedesired，thelastkindembracesofthegreatAlmaMater，theearth，commonlycalledburial)。

Dearlybelovedson，haveanespecialcarethataftermydeceasenoneoftheselawsbereceivedinanyofyourkingdoms；forwhilstIbreathe，bythegraceandassistanceofGod，Ishallgivegoodorder。Seeing，therefore，youhavetotallyreferreduntomydiscretionthedisposureofyouinmarriage，IamfullyofanopinionthatIshallprovidesufficientlywellforyouinthatpoint。MakereadyandprepareyourselfforPanurge\'svoyage。TakealongwithyouEpistemon，FriarJohn，andsuchothersasyouwillchoose。Dowithmytreasureswhatuntoyourselfshallseemmostexpedient。Noneofyouractions，Ipromiseyou，caninmymannerofwaydispleaseme。TakeoutofmyarsenalThalassewhatsoeverequipage，furniture，orprovisionyouplease，togetherwithsuchpilots，mariners，andtruchmenasyouhaveamindto，andwiththefirstfairandfavourablewindsetsailandmakeouttoseainthenameofGodourSaviour。Inthemeanwhile，duringyourabsence，Ishallnotbeneglectiveofprovidingawifeforyou，norofthosepreparationswhicharerequisitetobemadeforthemoresumptuoussolemnizingofyournuptialswithamostsplendidfeast，ifevertherewasanyintheworld，sincethedaysofAhasuerus。

Chapter3。XLIX。

HowPantagrueldidputhimselfinareadinesstogotosea；andoftheherbnamedPantagruelion。

WithinveryfewdaysafterthatPantagruelhadtakenhisleaveofthegoodGargantua，whodevoutlyprayedforhisson\'shappyvoyage，hearrivedattheseaport，neartoSammalo，accompaniedwithPanurge，Epistemon，FriarJohnoftheFunnels，AbbotofTheleme，andothersoftheroyalhouse，especiallywithXenomanesthegreattravellerandthwarterofdangerousways，whowascomeatthebiddingandappointmentofPanurge，ofwhosecastlewickofSalmigondinhedidholdsomepettyinheritancebythetenureofamesnefee。Pantagruel，beingcomethither，preparedandmadereadyforlaunchingafleetofships，tothenumberofthosewhichAjaxofSalaminehadofoldequippedinconvoyoftheGreciansoldieryagainsttheTrojanstate。Helikewisepickedoutforhisusesomanymariners，pilots，sailors，interpreters，artificers，officers，andsoldiers，ashethoughtfitting，andtherewithalmadeprovisionofsomuchvictualsofallsorts，artillery，munitionofdiverskinds，clothes，moneys，andothersuchluggage，stuff，baggage，chaffer，andfurniture，ashedeemedneedfulforcarryingonthedesignofasotedious，long，andperilousvoyage。Amongstotherthings，itwasobservedhowhecausedsomeofhisvesselstobefraughtandloadedwithagreatquantityofanherbofhiscalledPantagruelion，notonlyofthegreenandrawsortofit，butoftheconfectedalso，andofthatwhichwasnotablywellbefittedforpresentuseafterthefashionofconserves。TheherbPantagruelionhathalittlerootsomewhathardandrough，roundish，terminatinginanobtuseandverybluntpoint，andhavingsomeofitsveins，strings，orfilamentscolouredwithsomespotsofwhite，neverfixethitselfintothegroundabovetheprofoundnessalmostofacubit，orfootandahalf。Fromtherootthereofproceedeththeonlystalk，orbicular，cane-like，greenwithout，whitishwithin，andhollowlikethestemofsmyrnium，olusatrum，beans，andgentian，fulloflongthreads，straight，easytobebroken，jagged，snipped，nicked，andnotchedalittleafterthemannerofpillarsandcolumns，slightlyfurrowed，chamfered，guttered，andchannelled，andfulloffibres，orhairslikestrings，inwhichconsisteththechiefvalueanddignityoftheherb，especiallyinthatpartthereofwhichistermedmesa，ashewouldsaythemean，andinthatother，whichhathgotthedenominationofmilasea。Itsheightiscommonlyoffiveorsixfoot。Yetsometimesitisofsuchatallgrowthasdothsurpassthelengthofalance，butthatisonlywhenitmeetethwithasweet，easy，warm，wet，andwell-soakedsoil——asisthegroundoftheterritoryofOlone，andthatofRasea，neartoPrenesteinSabinia——andthatitwantnotforrainenoughabouttheseasonofthefishers\'holidaysandtheestivalsolstice。Therearemanytreeswhoseheightisbyitveryfarexceeded，andyoumightcallitdendromalachebytheauthorityofTheophrastus。Theplanteveryyearperisheth，——thetreeneitherinthetrunk，root，bark，orboughsbeingdurable。

FromthestalkofthisPantagruelianplantthereissueforthseverallargeandgreatbranches，whoseleaveshavethriceasmuchlengthasbreadth，alwaysgreen，roughish，andruggedliketheorcanet，orSpanishbugloss，hardish，slitroundaboutlikeuntoasickle，orasthesaxifragum，betony，andfinallyendingasitwereinthepointsofaMacedonianspear，orofsuchalancetassurgeonscommonlymakeuseofintheirphlebotomizingtiltings。Thefigureandshapeoftheleavesthereofisnotmuchdifferentfromthatofthoseoftheash-tree，orofagrimony；theherbitselfbeingsoliketheEupatorianplantthatmanyskilfulherbalistshavecalledittheDomesticEupator，andtheEupatortheWildPantagruelion。Theseleavesareinequalandparalleldistancesspreadaroundthestalkbythenumberineveryrankeitheroffiveorseven，naturehavingsohighlyfavouredandcherishedthisplantthatshehathrichlyadorneditwiththesetwoodd，divine，andmysteriousnumbers。Thesmellthereofissomewhatstrong，andnotverypleasingtonice，tender，anddelicatenoses。Theseedenclosedthereinmountethuptotheverytopofitsstalk，andalittleaboveit。

Thisisanumerousherb；forthereisnolessabundanceofitthanofanyotherwhatsoever。Someoftheseplantsarespherical，somerhomboid，andsomeofanoblongshape，andallofthoseeitherblack，bright-coloured，ortawny，rudetothetouch，andmantledwithaquickly-blasted-awaycoat，yetsuchaoneasisofadelicioustasteandsavourtoallshrillandsweetly-

singingbirds，suchaslinnets，goldfinches，larks，canarybirds，yellow-

hammers，andothersofthatairychirpingchoir；butitwouldquiteextinguishthenaturalheatandprocreativevirtueofthesemenceofanymanwhowouldeatmuchandoftenofit。AndalthoughthatofoldamongsttheGreekstherewascertainkindsoffrittersandpancakes，bunsandtarts，madethereof，whichcommonlyforaliquorishdaintinesswerepresentedonthetableaftersuppertodelightthepalateandmakethewinerelishthebetter；yetisitofadifficultconcoction，andoffensivetothestomach。Foritengenderethbadandunwholesomeblood，andwithitsexorbitantheatwoundeththemwithgrievous，hurtful，smart，andnoisomevapours。And，asindiversplantsandtreestherearetwosexes，maleandfemale，whichisperceptibleinlaurels，palms，cypresses，oaks，holms，thedaffodil，mandrake，fern，theagaric，mushroom，birthwort，turpentine，pennyroyal，peony，roseofthemount，andmanyothersuchlike，evensointhisherbthereisamalewhichbearethnofloweratall，yetitisverycopiousofandabundantinseed。Thereislikewiseinitafemale，whichhathgreatstoreandplentyofwhitishflowers，serviceabletolittleornopurpose，nordothitcarryinitseedofanyworthatall，atleastcomparabletothatofthemale。Ithathalsoalargerleaf，andmuchsofterthanthatofthemale，nordothitaltogethergrowtosogreataheight。ThisPantagruelionistobesownatthefirstcomingoftheswallows，andistobepluckedoutofthegroundwhenthegrasshoppersbegintobealittlehoarse。

Chapter3。L。

HowthefamousPantagruelionoughttobepreparedandwrought。

TheherbPantagruelion，inSeptember，undertheautumnalequinox，isdressedandpreparedseveralways，accordingtothevariousfanciesofthepeopleanddiversityoftheclimateswhereinitgroweth。ThefirstinstructionwhichPantagruelgaveconcerningitwastodivestanddespoilthestalkandstemthereofofallitsflowersandseeds，tomacerateandmortifyitinpond，pool，orlakewater，whichistobemaderunalittleforfivedaystogether(Properly——\'lakewater，whichistobemadestagnant，notcurrent，forfivedaystogether。\'——M。)iftheseasonbedryandthewaterhot，orforfullnineortwelvedaysiftheweatherbecloudishandthewatercold。Thenmustitbeparchedbeforethesuntillitbedrainedofitsmoisture。Afterthisitisintheshadow，wherethesunshinesnot，tobepeeledanditsrindpulledoff。Thenarethefibresandstringsthereoftobeparted，wherein，aswehavealreadysaid，consistethitsprimevirtue，price，andefficacy，andseveredfromthewoodypartthereof，whichisunprofitable，andservethhardlytoanyotherusethantomakeaclearandglisteringblaze，tokindlethefire，andfortheplay，pastime，anddisportoflittlechildren，toblowuphogs\'

bladdersandmakethemrattle。Manytimessomeuseismadethereofbytipplingsweet-lippedbibbers，whooutofitframequillsandpipes，throughwhichtheywiththeirliquor-attractivebreathsuckupthenewdaintywinefromthebungofthebarrel。SomemodernPantagruelists，toshunandavoidthatmanuallabourwhichsuchaseparatingandpartitionalworkwouldofnecessityrequire，employcertaincataracticinstruments，composedandformedafterthesamemannerthatthefroward，pettish，andangryJunodidholdthefingersofbothherhandsinterwovenlyclenchedtogetherwhenshewouldhavehinderedthechildbirthdeliveryofAlcmenaatthenativityofHercules；andathwartthosecataractstheybreakandbruisetoverytrashthewoodyparcels，therebytopreservethebetterthefibres，whicharethepreciousandexcellentparts。Inandwiththissoleoperationdotheseacquiesceandarecontented，who，contrarytothereceivedopinionofthewholeearth，andinamannerparadoxicaltoallphilosophers，gaintheirlivelihoodsbackwards，andbyrecoiling。Butthosethatlovetoholditatahigherrate，andprizeitaccordingtoitsvalue，fortheirowngreaterprofitdotheverysamewhichistoldusoftherecreationofthethreefatalsisterParcae，orofthenocturnalexerciseofthenobleCirce，oryetoftheexcusewhichPenelopemadetoherfondwooingyoungstersandeffeminatecourtiersduringthelongabsenceofherhusbandUlysses。

Bythesemeansisthisherbputintoawaytodisplayitsinestimablevirtues，whereofIwilldiscoverapart；fortorelateallisathingimpossibletodo。Ihavealreadyinterpretedandexposedbeforeyouthedenominationthereof。Ifindthatplantshavetheirnamesgivenandbestoweduponthemafterseveralways。Somegotthenameofhimwhofirstfoundthemout，knewthem，sowedthem，improvedthembyculture，qualifiedthemtotractability，andappropriatedthemtotheusesandsubserviencestheywerefitfor，astheMercurialefromMercury；PanaceafromPanace，thedaughterofAesculapius；ArmoisfromArtemis，whoisDiana；EupatoriafromthekingEupator；TelephionfromTelephus；EuphorbiumfromEuphorbus，KingJuba\'sphysician；ClymenosfromClymenus；AlcibiadiumfromAlcibiades；

GentianefromGentius，KingofSclavonia，andsoforth，throughagreatmanyotherherbsorplants。Truly，inancienttimesthisprerogativeofimposingtheinventor\'snameuponanherbfoundoutbyhimwasheldinasogreataccountandestimation，that，asacontroversyarosebetwixtNeptuneandPallasfromwhichofthemtwothatlandshouldreceiveitsdenominationwhichhadbeenequallyfoundoutbythembothtogether——thoughthereafteritwascalledandhadtheappellationofAthens，fromAthene，whichisMinerva——justsowouldLynceus，KingofScythia，havetreacherouslyslaintheyoungTriptolemus，whomCereshadsenttoshowuntomankindtheinventionofcorn，whichuntilthenhadbeenutterlyunknown，totheendthat，afterthemurderofthemessenger，whosedeathhemadeaccounttohavekeptsecret，hemight，byimposing，withthelesssuspicionoffalsedealing，hisownnameuponthesaidfoundoutseed，acquireuntohimselfanimmortalhonourandgloryforhavingbeentheinventorofagrainsoprofitableandnecessarytoandfortheuseofhumanlife。ForthewickednessofwhichtreasonableattempthewasbyCerestransformedintothatwildbeastwhichbysomeiscalledalynxandbyothersanounce。

Suchalsowastheambitionofothersuponthelikeoccasion，asappearethbythatverysharpwarsandofalongcontinuancehavebeenmadeofoldbetwixtsomeresidentiarykingsinCappadociauponthisonlydebate，ofwhosenameacertainherbshouldhavetheappellation；byreasonofwhichdifference，sotroublesomeandexpensivetothemall，itwasbythemcalledPolemonion，andbyusforthesamecausetermedMake-bate。

Otherherbsandplantstherearewhichretainthenamesofthecountriesfromwhencetheyweretransported，astheMedianapplesfromMedia，wheretheyfirstgrew；PunicapplesfromPunicia，thatistosay，Carthage；

Ligusticum，whichwecalllovage，fromLiguria，thecoastofGenoa；RhubarbfromafloodinBarbary，asAmmianusattesteth，calledRu；Santonicafromaregionofthatname；FenugreekfromGreece；Gastanesfromacountrysocalled；PersicariafromPersia；Sabinefromaterritoryofthatappellation；StaechasfromtheStaechadIslands；SpicaCelticafromthelandoftheCelticGauls，andsothroughoutagreatmanyother，whichweretedioustoenumerate。Someothers，again，haveobtainedtheirdenominationsbywayofantiphrasis，orcontrariety；asAbsinth，becauseitiscontraryto(Greek)，foritisbittertothetasteindrinking；

Holosteon，asifitwereallbones，whilst，onthecontrary，thereisnofrailer，tenderer，norbrittlerherbinthewholeproductionofnaturethanit。

Therearesomeothersortsofherbswhichhavegottheirnamesfromtheirvirtuesandoperations，asAristolochia，becauseithelpethwomeninchildbirth；Lichen，forthatitcureththediseaseofthatname；Mallow，becauseitmollifieth；Callithricum，becauseitmakeththehairofabrightcolour；Alyssum，Ephemerum，Bechium，Nasturtium，Aneban(Henbane)，andsoforththroughmanymore。

Othersometherearewhichhaveobtainedtheirnamesfromtheadmirablequalitiesthatarefoundtobeinthem，asHeliotropium，whichisthemarigold，becauseitfolloweththesun，sothatatthesunrisingitdisplayethandspreadsitselfout，athisascendingitmounteth，athisdecliningitwaneth，andwhenheissetitiscloseshut；Adianton，because，althoughitgrownearuntowateryplaces，andalbeityoushouldletitlieinwateralongtime，itwillneverthelessretainnomoisturenorhumidity；Hierachia，Eringium，andsothroughoutagreatmanymore。

Therearealsoagreatmanyherbsandplantswhichhaveretainedtheverysamenamesofthemenandwomenwhohavebeenmetamorphosedandtransformedinthem，asfromDaphnethelaureliscalledalsoDaphne；MyrrhfromMyrrha，thedaughterofCinarus；PythisfromPythis；Cinara，whichistheartichoke，fromoneofthatname；Narcissus，withSaffron，Smilax，anddiversothers。

Manyherbslikewisehavegottheirnamesofthosethingswhichtheyseemtohavesomeresemblanceto；asHippuris，becauseithaththelikenessofahorse\'stail；Alopecuris，becauseitrepresentethinsimilitudethetailofafox；Psyllion，fromafleawhichitresembleth；Delphinium，forthatitislikeadolphinfish；Buglossissocalledbecauseitisanherblikeanox\'stongue；Iris，socalledbecauseinitsflowersithathsomeresemblanceoftherainbow；Myosota，becauseitisliketheearofamouse；

Coronopus，forthatitisofthelikenessofacrow\'sfoot。Agreatmanyothersuchthereare，whichheretorecitewereneedless。Furthermore，asthereareherbsandplantswhichhavehadtheirnamesfromthoseofmen，sobyareciprocaldenominationhavethesurnamesofmanyfamiliestakentheiroriginfromthem，astheFabii，afabis，beans；thePisons，apisis，peas；

theLentulifromlentils；theCicerons；aciceribus，velciceris，asortofpulsecalledchickpease，andsoforth。Insomeplantsandherbstheresemblanceorlikenesshathbeentakenfromahighermarkorobject，aswhenwesayVenus\'navel，Venus\'hair，Venus\'tub，Jupiter\'sbeard，Jupiter\'seye，Mars\'blood，theHermodactylorMercury\'sfingers，whichareallofthemnamesofherbs，asthereareagreatmanymoreofthelikeappellation。Others，again，havereceivedtheirdenominationfromtheirforms，suchastheTrefoil，becauseitisthree-leaved；Pentaphylon，forhavingfiveleaves；Serpolet，becauseitcreepethalongtheground；

Helxine，Petast，Myrobalon，whichtheArabianscalledBeen，asifyouwouldsayanacorn，forithathakindofresemblancethereto，andwithalisveryoily。

Chapter3。LI。

WhyitiscalledPantagruelion，andoftheadmirablevirtuesthereof。

Bysuch-likemeansofattainingtoadenomination——thefabulouswaysbeingonlyfromthenceexcepted，fortheLordforbidthatweshouldmakeuseofanyfablesinthisasoveritablehistory——isthisherbcalledPantagruelion，forPantagruelwastheinventorthereof。Idonotsayoftheplantitself，butofacertainusewhichitservesfor，exceedingodiousandhatefultothievesandrobbers，untowhomitismorecontrariousandhurtfulthanthestrangle-weedandchokefitchistotheflax，thecats-

tailtothebrakes，thesheave-grasstothemowersofhay，thefitchestothechickney-pease，thedarneltobarley，thehatchet-fitchtothelentilpulse，theantramiumtothebeans，tarestowheat，ivytowalls，thewater-

lilytolecherousmonks，thebirchenrodtothescholarsofthecollegeofNavarreinParis，coleworttothevine-tree，garlictotheloadstone，onionstothesight，fern-seedtowomenwithchild，willow-graintoviciousnuns，theyew-treeshadetothosethatsleepunderit，wolfsbanetowolvesandlibbards，andsmelloffig-treetomadbulls，hemlocktogoslings，purslanetotheteeth，oroiltotrees。Forwehaveseenmanyofthoserogues，byvirtueandrightapplicationofthisherb，finishtheirlivesshortandlong，afterthemannerofPhyllis，QueenofThracia，ofBonosus，EmperorofRome，ofAmata，KingLatinus\'swife，ofIphis，Autolycus，Lycambe，Arachne，Paedra，Leda，Achius，KingofLydia，andmanythousandsmore，whowerechieflyangryandvexedatthisdisastertherein，that，withoutbeingotherwisesickorevil-disposedintheirbodies，byatouchonlyofthePantagrueliontheycameonasuddentohavethepassageobstructed，andtheirpipes，throughwhichwerewonttoboltsomanyjollysayingsandtoentersomanylusciousmorsels，stopped，morecleverlythanevercouldhavedonethesquinancy。

Othershavebeenheardmostwoefullytolament，attheveryinstantwhenAtroposwasabouttocutthethreadoftheirlife，thatPantagruelheldthembythegorge。But，well-a-day，itwasnotPantagruel；heneverwasanexecutioner。ItwasthePantagruelion，manufacturedandfashionedintoanhalter；andservingintheplaceandofficeofacravat。Inthat，verily，theysolecizedandspokeimproperly，unlessyouwouldexcusethembyatrope，whichallowethustoposittheinventorintheplaceofthethinginvented，aswhenCeresistakenforbread，andBacchusputinsteadofwine。Isweartoyouhere，bythegoodandfrolicwordswhicharetoissueoutofthatwine-bottlewhichisa-coolingbelowinthecoppervesselfulloffountainwater，thatthenoblePantagruelneversnatchedanymanbythethroat，unlessitwassuchaoneaswasaltogethercarelessandneglectiveofthoseobviatingremedieswhichwerepreventiveofthethirsttocome。

ItisalsotermedPantagruelionbyasimilitude。ForPantagruel，attheveryfirstminuteofhisbirth，wasnolesstallthanthisherbislongwhereofIspeakuntoyou，hismeasurehavingbeenthentakenthemoreeasythathewasbornintheseasonofthegreatdrought，whentheywerebusiestinthegatheringofthesaidherb，towit，atthattimewhenIcarus\'sdog，withhisfierybawlingandbarkingatthesun，makeththewholeworldTroglodytic，andenforcethpeopleeverywheretohidethemselvesindensandsubterraneancaves。ItislikewisecalledPantagruelionbecauseofthenotableandsingularqualities，virtues，andpropertiesthereof。ForasPantagruelhathbeentheidea，pattern，prototype，andexemplaryofalljovialperfectionandaccomplishment——inthetruthwhereofIbelievethereisnoneofyougentlemendrinkersthatputtethanyquestion——sointhisPantagruelionhaveIfoundsomuchefficacyandenergy，somuchcompletenessandexcellency，somuchexquisitenessandrarity，andsomanyadmirableeffectsandoperationsofatranscendentnature，thatifworthandvirtuethereofhadbeenknownwhenthosetrees，bytherelationoftheprophet，madeelectionofawoodenkingtoruleandgovernoverthem，itwithoutalldoubtwouldhavecarriedawayfromalltherestthepluralityofvotesandsuffrages。

ShallIyetsaymore？IfOxylus，thesonofOrius，hadbegottenthisplantuponhissisterHamadryas，hehadtakenmoredelightinthevalueandperfectionofitalonethaninallhiseightchildren，sohighlyrenownedbyourablestmythologiansthattheyhavesedulouslyrecommendedtheirnamestothenever-failingtuitionofaneternalremembrance。Theeldestchildwasadaughter，whosenamewasVine；thenextbornwasaboy，andhisnamewasFig-tree；thethirdwascalledWalnut-tree；thefourthOak；thefifthSorbapple-tree；thesixthAsh；theseventhPoplar，andthelasthadthenameofElm，whowasthegreatestsurgeoninhistime。Ishallforbeartotellyouhowthejuiceorsapthereof，beingpouredanddistilledwithintheears，killetheverykindofverminthatbyanymannerofputrefactioncomethtobebredandengenderedthere，anddestroyethalsoanywhatsoeverotheranimalthatshallhaveenteredinthereat。If，likewise，youputalittleofthesaidjuicewithinapailorbucketfullofwater，youshallseethewaterinstantlyturnandgrowthicktherewithasifitweremilk-

curds，whereofthevirtueissogreatthatthewaterthuscurdedisapresentremedyforhorsessubjecttothecolic，andsuchasstrikeattheirownflanks。Therootthereofwellboiledmollifieththejoints，softeneththehardnessofshrunk-insinews，iseverywaycomfortabletothenerves，andgoodagainstallcrampsandconvulsions，aslikewiseallcoldandknottygouts。Ifyouwouldspeedilyhealaburning，whetheroccasionedbywaterorfire，applytheretoalittlerawPantagruelion，thatistosay，takeitsoasitcomethoutoftheground，withoutbestowinganyotherpreparationorcompositionuponit；buthaveaspecialcaretochangeitforsomefresherinlieuthereofassoonasyoushallfinditwaxingdryuponthesore。

Withoutthisherbkitchenswouldbedetested，thetablesofdining-roomsabhorred，althoughthereweregreatplentyandvarietyofmostdaintyandsumptuousdishesofmeatsetdownuponthem，andthechoicestbedsalso，howrichlysoeveradornedwithgold，silver，amber，ivory，porphyry，andthemixtureofmostpreciousmetals，wouldwithoutityieldnodelightorpleasuretothereposersinthem。Withoutitmillerscouldneithercarrywheat，noranyotherkindofcorntothemill，norwouldtheybeabletobringbackfromthenceflour，oranyothersortofmealwhatsoever。

Withoutit，howcouldthepapersandwritsoflawyers\'clientsbebroughttothebar？Solemnisthemortar，lime，orplasterbroughttotheworkhousewithoutit。Withoutit，howshouldthewaterbegotoutofadraw-well？Inwhatcasewouldtabellions，notaries，copists，makersofcounterpanes，writers，clerks，secretaries，scriveners，andsuch-likepersonsbewithoutit？Wereitnotforit，whatwouldbecomeofthetoll-

ratesandrent-rolls？Wouldnotthenobleartofprintingperishwithoutit？Whereofcouldthechassisorpaper-windowsbemade？Howshouldthebellsberung？ThealtarsofIsisareadornedtherewith，thePastophorianpriestsaretherewithcladandaccoutred，andwholehumannaturecoveredandwrappedthereinatitsfirstpositionandproductioninandintothisworld。AllthelanifictreesofSeres，thebumbastandcottonbushesintheterritoriesnearthePersianSeaandGulfofBengala，theArabianswans，togetherwiththeplantsofMalta，donotallthethemclothe，attire，andapparelsomanypersonsasthisoneherbalone。Soldiersarenowadaysmuchbettershelteredunderitthantheywereinformertimes，whentheylayintentscoveredwithskins。Itovershadowsthetheatresandamphitheatresfromtheheatofascorchingsun。Itbegirdethandencompassethforests，chases，parks，copses，andgroves，forthepleasureofhunters。Itdescendethintothesaltandfreshofbothseaandriver-

watersfortheprofitoffishers。Byitarebootsofallsizes，buskins，gamashes，brodkins，gambadoes，shoes，pumps，slippers，andeverycobbledwarewroughtandmadesteadablefortheuseofman。Byitthebuttandrover-bowsarestrung，thecrossbowsbended，andtheslingsmadefixed。

And，asifitwereanherbeverywhitasholyasthevervain，andreverencedbyghosts，spirits，hobgoblins，fiends，andphantoms，thebodiesofdeceasedmenareneverburiedwithoutit。

Iwillproceedyetfurther。Bythemeansofthisfineherbtheinvisiblesubstancesarevisiblystopped，arrested，taken，detained，andprisoner-

likecommittedtotheirreceptivegaols。Heavyandponderousweightsarebyitheaved，liftedup，turned，veered，drawn，carried，andeverywaymovedquickly，nimbly，andeasily，tothegreatprofitandemolumentofhumankind。WhenIperpendwithmyselftheseandsuch-likemarvellouseffectsofthiswonderfulherb，itseemethstrangeuntomehowtheinventionofsousefulapracticedidescapethroughsomanyby-pastagestheknowledgeoftheancientphilosophers，consideringtheinestimableutilitywhichfromthenceproceeded，andtheimmenselabourwhichwithoutittheydidundergointheirpristineelucubrations。Byvirtuethereof，throughtheretentionofsomeaerialgusts，arethehugerambarges，mightygalleons，thelargefloats，theChiliander，theMyriandershipslaunchedfromtheirstationsandseta-goingatthepleasureandarbitramentoftheirrulers，conders，andsteersmen。Bythehelpthereofthoseremotenationswhomnatureseemedsounwillingtohavediscoveredtous，andsodesiroustohavekeptthemstillinabsconditoandhiddenfromus，thatthewaysthroughwhichtheircountriesweretobereacheduntowerenotonlytotallyunknown，butjudgedalsotobealtogetherimpermeableandinaccessible，arenowarrivedtous，andwetothem。

Thosevoyagesoutreachedflightsofbirdsandfarsurpassedthescopeoffeatheredfowls，howswiftsoevertheyhadbeenonthewing，andnotwithstandingthatadvantagewhichtheyhaveofusinswimmingthroughtheair。TaprobanhathseentheheathsofLapland，andboththeJavasandRiphaeanmountains；widedistantPhebolshallseeTheleme，andtheIslandersdrinkofthefloodEuphrates。Byitthechill-mouthedBoreashathsurveyedtheparchedmansionsofthetorridAuster，andEurusvisitedtheregionswhichZephyrushathunderhiscommand；yea，insuchsorthaveinterviewsbeenmadebytheassistanceofthissacredherb，that，maugrelongitudesandlatitudes，andallthevariationsofthezones，thePeriaecianpeople，andAntoecian，Amphiscian，Heteroscian，andPeriscianhadoftrenderedandreceivedmutualvisitstoandfromother，uponalltheclimates。Thesestrangeexploitsbredsuchastonishmenttothecelestialintelligences，toallthemarineandterrestrialgods，thattheywereonasuddenallafraid。Fromwhichamazement，whentheysawhow，bymeansofthisblestPantagruelion，theArcticpeoplelookedupontheAntarctic，scouredtheAtlanticOcean，passedthetropics，pushedthroughthetorridzone，measuredallthezodiac，sportedundertheequinoctial，havingbothpoleslevelwiththeirhorizon，theyjudgedithightimetocallacouncilfortheirownsafetyandpreservation。

TheOlympicgods，beingallandeachofthemaffrightedatthesightofsuchachievements，said:Pantagruelhathshapenworkenoughforus，andputusmoretoaplungeandnearerourwits\'endbythissoleherbofhisthandidofoldtheAloidaebyoverturningmountains。Heveryspeedilyistobemarried，andshallhavemanychildrenbyhiswife。Itliesnotinourpowertoopposethisdestiny；forithathpassedthroughthehandsandspindlesoftheFatalSisters，necessity\'sinexorabledaughters。Whoknowsbutbyhissonsmaybefoundoutanherbofsuchanothervirtueandprodigiousenergy，asthatbytheaidthereof，inusingitarightaccordingtotheirfather\'sskill，theymaycontriveawayforhumankindtopierceintothehighaerianclouds，getupuntothespringheadofthehail，takeaninspectionofthesnowysources，andshutandopenastheypleasethesluicesfromwhenceproceedthefloodgatesoftherain；then，prosecutingtheiraetherealvoyage，theymaystepinuntothelightningworkhouseandshop，whereallthethunderboltsareforged，where，seizingonthemagazineofheavenandstorehouseofourwarlikefire-munition，theymaydischargeabouncingpealortwoofthunderingordnanceforjoyoftheirarrivaltothesenewsupernalplaces，and，chargingthosetonitrualgunsafresh，turnthewholeforceofthatartilleryagainstourselveswhereinwemostconfided。ThenisitliketheywillsetforwardtoinvadetheterritoriesoftheMoon，whence，passingthroughbothMercuryandVenus，theSunwillservethemforatorch，toshowthewayfromMarstoJupiterandSaturn。

Weshallnotthenbeabletoresisttheimpetuosityoftheirintrusion，norputastoppagetotheirenteringinatall，whateverregions，domiciles，ormansionsofthespangledfirmamenttheyshallhaveanymindtosee，tostayin，totravelthroughfortheirrecreation。Allthecelestialsignstogether，withtheconstellationsofthefixedstars，willjointlybeattheirdevotionthen。SomewilltakeuptheirlodgingattheRam，someattheBull，andothersattheTwins；someattheCrab，someattheLionInn，andothersatthesignoftheVirgin；someattheBalance，othersattheScorpion，andotherswillbequarteredattheArcher；somewillbeharbouredattheGoat，someattheWater-pourer\'ssign，someattheFishes；

somewilllieattheCrown，someattheHarp，someattheGoldenEagleandtheDolphin；someattheFlyingHorse，someattheShip，someatthegreat，someatthelittleBear；andsothroughouttheglisteninghostelriesofthewholetwinklingasteristicwelkin。Therewillbesojournerscomefromtheearth，who，longingafterthetasteofthesweetcream，oftheirownskimmingoff，fromthebestmilkofallthedairyoftheGalaxy，willsetthemselvesattabledownwithus，drinkofournectarandambrosia，andtaketotheirownbedsatnightforwivesandconcubinesourfairestgoddesses，theonlymeanswherebytheycanbedeified。Ajuntohereuponbeingconvocated，thebettertoconsultuponthemannerofobviatingasodreadfuldanger，Jove，sittinginhispresidentialthrone，askedthevotesofalltheothergods，which，afteraprofounddeliberationamongstthemselvesonallcontingencies，theyfreelygaveatlast，andthenresolvedunanimouslytowithstandtheshocksofallwhatsoeversublunaryassaults。

Chapter3。LII。

HowacertainkindofPantagruelionisofthatnaturethatthefireisnotabletoconsumeit。

Ihavealreadyrelatedtoyougreatandadmirablethings；but，ifyoumightbeinducedtoadventureuponthehazardofbelievingsomeotherdivinityofthissacredPantagruelion，Iverywillinglywouldtellityou。Believeit，ifyouwill，orotherwise，believeitnot，Icarenotwhichofthemyoudo，theyarebothaliketome。Itshallbesufficientformypurposetohavetoldyouthetruth，andthetruthIwilltellyou。Buttoenterinthereat，becauseitisofaknaggy，difficult，andruggedaccess，thisisthequestionwhichIaskofyou。IfIhadputwithinthisbottletwopints，theoneofwineandtheotherofwater，thoroughlyandexactlymingledtogether，howwouldyouunmixthem？Afterwhatmannerwouldyougoabouttoseverthem，andseparatetheoneliquorfromtheother，insuchsortthatyourendermethewaterapart，freefromthewine，andthewinealsopure，withouttheintermixtureofonedropofwater，andbothoftheminthesamemeasure，quantity，andtastethatIhadembottledthem？Or，tostatethequestionotherwise。Ifyourcarmenandmariners，entrustedfortheprovisionofyourhouseswiththebringingofacertainconsiderablenumberoftuns，puncheons，pipes，barrels，andhogsheadsofGraveswine，orofthewineofOrleans，Beaune，andMireveaux，shoulddrinkoutthehalf，andafterwardswithwaterfilluptheotheremptyhalvesofthevesselsasfullasbefore，astheLimosinsusetodointheircarriagesbywainsandcartsofthewinesofArgentonandSangaultier；afterthat，howwouldyoupartthewaterfromthewine，andpurifythembothinsuchacase？I

understandyouwellenough。Yourmeaningis，thatImustdoitwithanivyfunnel。Thatiswritten，itistrue，andtheveritythereofexploredbyathousandexperiments；youhavelearnedtodothisfeatbefore，Iseeit。

Butthosethathaveneverknownit，noratanytimehaveseenthelike，wouldhardlybelievethatitwerepossible。Letusneverthelessproceed。

Butputthecase，wewerenowlivingintheageofSylla，Marius，Caesar，andothersuchRomanemperors，orthatwewereinthetimeofourancientDruids，whosecustomwastoburnandcalcinethedeadbodiesoftheirparentsandlords，andthatyouhadamindtodrinktheashesorcindersofyourwivesorfathersintheinfusedliquorofsomegoodwhite-wine，asArtemisiadrunkthedustandashesofherhusbandMausolus；orotherwise，thatyoudiddeterminetohavethemreservedinsomefineurnorreliquarypot；howwouldyousavetheashesapart，andseparatethemfromthoseothercindersandashesintowhichthefuelofthefuneralandbustuaryfirehathbeenconverted？Answer，ifyoucan。Bymyfiggins，Ibelieveitwilltroubleyousotodo。

Well，Iwilldespatch，andtellyouthat，ifyoutakeofthiscelestialPantagruelionsomuchasisneedfultocoverthebodyofthedefunct，andafterthatyoushallhaveenwrappedandboundthereinashardandcloselyasyoucanthecorpseofthesaiddeceasedpersons，andsewedupthefolding-sheetwiththreadofthesamestuff，throwitintothefire，howgreatorardentsoeveritbeitmattersnotastraw，thefirethroughthisPantagruelionwillburnthebodyandreducetoashesthebonesthereof，andthePantagruelionshallbenotonlynotconsumednorburnt，butalsoshallneitherloseoneatomoftheashesenclosedwithinit，norreceiveoneatomofthehugebustuaryheapofashesresultingfromtheblazingconflagrationofthingscombustiblelaidroundaboutit，butshallatlast，whentakenoutofthefire，befairer，whiter，andmuchcleanerthanwhenyoudidputitinatfirst。ThereforeitiscalledAsbeston，whichisasmuchtosayasincombustible。GreatplentyistobefoundthereofinCarpasia，aslikewiseintheclimateDiaSienes，atveryeasyrates。Ohowrareandadmirableathingitis，thatthefirewhichdevoureth，consumeth，anddestroyethallsuchthingselse，shouldcleanse，purge，andwhitenthissolePantagruelionCarpasianAsbeston！Ifyoumistrusttheverityofthisrelation，anddemandforfurtherconfirmationofmyassertionavisiblesign，astheJewsandsuchincredulousinfidelsusetodo，takeafreshegg，andorbicularly，orratherovally，enfolditwithinthisdivinePantagruelion。Whenitissowrappedup，putitinthehotembersofafire，howgreatorardentsoeveritbe，andhavingleftitthereaslongasyouwill，youshallatlast，atyourtakingitoutofthefire，findtheeggroastedhard，andasitwereburnt，withoutanyalteration，change，mutation，orsomuchasacalefactionofthesacredPantagruelion。Forlessthanamillionofpoundssterling，modified，takendown，andamoderatedtothetwelfthpartofonefourpencehalfpennyfarthing，youareabletoputittoatrialandmakeproofthereof。

Donotthinktoovermatchmehere，byparagoningwithitinthewayofamoreeminentcomparisontheSalamander。Thatisafib；for，albeitalittleordinaryfire，suchasisusedindining-roomsandchambers，gladden，cheerup，exhilarate，andquickenit，yetmayIwarrantablyenoughassurethatintheflamingfireofafurnaceitwill，likeanyotheranimatedcreature，bequicklysuffocated，choked，consumed，anddestroyed。

Wehaveseentheexperimentthereof，andGalenmanyagesagohathclearlydemonstratedandconfirmedit，Lib。3，Detemperamentis，andDioscoridesmaintaineththesamedoctrine，Lib。2。DonothereinstanceincompetitionwiththissacredherbthefeatheralumorthewoodentowerofPyraeus，whichLuciusSyllawasneverabletogetburnt；forthatArchelaus，governorofthetownforMithridates，KingofPontus，hadplastereditalloverontheoutsidewiththesaidalum。NorwouldIhaveyoutocomparetherewiththeherbwhichAlexanderCorneliuscalledEonem，andsaidthatithadsomeresemblancewiththatoakwhichbearsthemistletoe，andthatitcouldneitherbeconsumednorreceiveanymannerofprejudicebyfirenorbywater，nomorethanthemistletoe，ofwhichwasbuilt，saidhe，thesorenownedshipArgos。Searchwhereyoupleaseforthosethatwillbelieveit。Iinthatpointdesiretobeexcused。NeitherwouldIwishyoutoparalleltherewith——althoughIcannotdenybutthatitisofaverymarvellousnature——thatsortoftreewhichgrowethalongstthemountainsofBriansonandAmbrun，whichproducethoutofhisrootthegoodagaric。Fromitsbodyityieldethuntousasoexcellentrosin，thatGalenhathbeenboldtoequalittotheturpentine。Uponthedelicateleavesthereofitretainethforourusethatsweetheavenlyhoneywhichiscalledthemanna，and，althoughitbeofagummy，oily，fat，andgreasysubstance，itis，notwithstanding，unconsumablebyanyfire。ItisinGreekandLatincalledLarix。TheAlpinesenameisMelze。TheAntenoridesandVenetianstermitLarege；whichgaveoccasiontothatcastleinPiedmonttoreceivethedenominationofLarignum，byputtingJuliusCaesartoastandathisreturnfromamongsttheGauls。

JuliusCaesarcommandedalltheyeomen，boors，hinds，andotherinhabitantsin，nearunto，andabouttheAlpsandPiedmont，tobringallmannerofvictualsandprovisionforanarmytothoseplaceswhichonthemilitaryroadhehadappointedtoreceivethemfortheuseofhismarchingsoldiery。

Towhichordinanceallofthemwereobedient，saveonlythoseaswerewithinthegarrisonofLarignum，who，trustinginthenaturalstrengthoftheplace，wouldnotpaytheircontribution。Theemperor，purposingtochastisethemfortheirrefusal，causedhiswholearmytomarchstraighttowardsthatcastle，beforethegatewhereofwaserectedatowerbuiltofhugebigsparsandraftersofthelarch-tree，fastboundtogetherwithpinsandpegsofthesamewood，andinterchangeablylaidononeanother，afterthefashionofapileorstackoftimber，setupinthefabricthereoftosuchanaptandconvenientheightthatfromtheparapetabovetheportcullistheythoughtwithstonesandleverstobeatoffanddriveawaysuchasshouldapproachthereto。

WhenCaesarhadunderstoodthatthechiefdefenceofthosewithinthecastledidconsistinstonesandclubs，andthatitwasnotaneasymattertosling，hurl，dart，throw，orcastthemsofarastohindertheapproaches，heforthwithcommandedhismentothrowgreatstoreofbavins，faggots，andfascinesroundaboutthecastle，andwhentheyhadmadetheheapofacompetentheight，toputthemallinafairfire；whichwasthereuponincontinentlydone。Thefireputamidstthefaggotswassogreatandsohighthatitcoveredthewholecastle，thattheymightwellimaginethetowerwouldtherebybealtogetherburnttodust，anddemolished。

Nevertheless，contrarytoalltheirhopesandexpectations，whentheflameceased，andthatthefaggotswerequiteburntandconsumed，thetowerappearedaswhole，sound，andentireasever。Caesar，afteraseriousconsiderationhadthereof，commandedacompasstobetakenwithoutthedistanceofastonecastfromthecastleroundaboutitthere，withditchesandentrenchmentstoformablockade；whichwhentheLarignansunderstood，theyrenderedthemselvesuponterms。AndthenbyarelationfromthemitwasthatCaesarlearnedtheadmirablenatureandvirtueofthiswood，whichofitselfproducethneitherfire，flame，norcoal，andwould，therefore，inregardofthatrarequalityofincombustibility，havebeenadmittedintothisrankanddegreeofatruePantagruelionalplant；andthatsomuchtherather，forthatPantagrueldirectedthatallthegates，doors，angiports，windows，gutters，fretticedandembowedceilings，cans，(cants？)andotherwhatsoeverwoodenfurnitureintheabbeyofTheleme，shouldbeallmateriatedofthiskindoftimber。Helikewisecausedtocovertherewiththesterns，stems，cook-roomsorlaps，hatches，decks，courses，bends，andwallsofhiscarricks，ships，galleons，galleys，brigantines，foists，frigates，crears，barques，floats，pinks，pinnaces，hoys，ketches，capers，andothervesselsofhisThalassianarsenal；wereitnotthatthewoodortimberofthelarch-tree，beingputwithinalargeandamplefurnacefullofhugevehementlyflamingfireproceedingfromthefuelofothersortsandkindsofwood，comethatlasttobecorrupted，consumed，dissipated，anddestroyed，asarestonesinalime-kiln。ButthisPantagruelionAsbestonisratherbythefirerenewedandcleansedthanbytheflamesthereofconsumedorchanged。Therefore，Arabians，Indians，Sabaeans，Singnot，inhymnsandIoPaeans，Yourincense，myrrh，orebony。

Comehere，anoblerplanttosee，Andcarryhome，atanyrate，Someseed，thatyoumaypropagate。

Ifinyoursoilittakes，toheavenAthousandthousandthanksbegiven；

AndsaywithFrance，itgoodlygoes，WherethePantagrueliongrows。

ENDOfBOOKIII

BOOKIV。

THEFOURTHBOOK

TheTranslator\'sPreface。

Reader，——Idon\'tknowwhatkindofaprefaceImustwritetofindtheecourteous，anepithettoooftenbestowedwithoutacause。Theauthorofthisworkhasbeenassparingofwhatwecallgoodnature，asmostreadersarenowadays。SoIamafraidhistranslatorandcommentatorisnottoexpectmuchmorethanhasbeenshowedthem。What\'sworse，therearebuttwosortsoftakingprefaces，astherearebuttwokindsofprologuestoplays；forMr。Bayswasdoubtlessintherightwhenhesaidthatifthunderandlightningcouldnotfrightanaudienceintocomplaisance，thesightofthepoetwitharopeabouthisneckmightworkthemintopity。Some，indeed，havebulliedmanyofyouintoapplause，andrailedatyourfaultsthatyoumightthinkthemwithoutany；andothers，moresafely，havespokenkindlyofyou，thatyoumightthink，oratleastspeak，asfavourablyofthem，andbeflatteredintopatience。Now，Ifancy，there\'snothinglessdifficulttoattemptthanthefirstmethod；for，inthisblessedage，\'tisaseasytofindabullywithoutcourage，asawhorewithoutbeauty，orawriterwithoutwit；thoughthosequalificationsaresonecessaryintheirrespectiveprofessions。Themischiefis，thatyouseldomallowanytorailbesidesyourselves，andcannotbearapridewhichshocksyourown。Asforwheedlingyouintoalikingofawork，Imustconfessitseemsthesafestway；butthoughflatterypleasesyouwellwhenitisparticular，youhateit，aslittleconcerningyou，whenitisgeneral。Thenweknightsofthequillareastiff-neckedgeneration，whoasseldomcaretoseemtodoubttheworthofourwritings，andtheirbeingliked，aswelovetoflattermorethanoneatatime；andhadratherdrawourpens，andstandupforthebeautyofourworks(assomearrantfoolsusetodoforthatoftheirmistresses)tothelastdropofourink。Andtrulythissubmission，whichsometimeswheedlesyouintopity，asseldomdecoysyouintolove，astheawkwardcringingofanantiquatedfop，asmoneylessasheisugly，affectsanexperiencedfairone。Nowweaslittlevalueyourpityasaloverhismistress\'s，wellsatisfiedthatitisonlyalessuncivilwayofdismissingus。Butwhatifneitherofthesetwowayswillworkuponyou，ofwhichdolefultruthsomeofourplaywrightsstandsomanylivingmonuments？Why，then，trulyIthinkonnootherwayatpresentbutblendingthetwointoone；and，fromthismarriageofhuffingandcringing，therewillresultanewkindofcarelessmedley，which，perhaps，willworkuponbothsortsofreaders，thosewhoaretobehectored，andthosewhomwemustcreepto。Atleast，itisliketopleasebyitsnovelty；anditwillnotbethefirstmonsterthathaspleasedyouwhenregularnaturecouldnotdoit。

Ifuncommonworth，livelywit，anddeeplearning，woveintowholesomesatire，abold，good，andvastdesignadmirablypursued，truthsetoutinitstruelight，andamethodhowtoarrivetoitsoracle，canrecommendawork，Iamsurethishasenoughtopleaseanyreasonableman。Thethreebookspublishedsometimesince，whichareinamanneranentirework，werekindlyreceived；yet，intheFrench，theycomefarshortofthesetwo，whicharealsoentirepieces；forthesatireisallgeneralhere，muchmoreobvious，andconsequentlymoreentertaining。Evenmylongexplanatoryprefacewasnotthoughtimproper。ThoughIwassofarfrombeingallowedtimetomakeitmethodical，thatatfirstonlyafewpageswereintended；

yetasfastastheywereprintedIwroteon，tillitprovedatlastlikeoneofthosetownsbuiltlittleatfirst，thenenlarged，whereyouseepromiscuouslyanoddvarietyofallsortsofirregularbuildings。IhopetheremarksIgivenowwillnotpleaseless；for，asIhavetranslatedtheworkwhichtheyexplain，Ihadmoretimetomakethem，thoughaslittletowritethem。Itwouldbeneedlesstogiveherealargeaccountofmyperformance；for，afterall，youreaderscarenomoreforthisorthatapology，orpretenceofMr。Translator，iftheversiondoesnotpleaseyou，thanwedoforablunderingcook\'sexcuseafterhehasspoiledagooddishinthedressing。Norcanthefirstpretendtomuchpraise，besidesthatofgivinghisauthor\'ssenseinitsfullextent，andcopyinghisstyle，ifitistobecopied；sincehehasnoshareintheinventionordispositionofwhathetranslates。YettherewasnosmalldifficultyindoingRabelaisjusticeinthatdoublerespect；theobsoletewordsandturnsofphrase，anddarksubjects，oftenasdarklytreated，makethesensehardtobeunderstoodevenbyaFrenchman，anditcannotbeeasytogiveitthefreeeasyairofanoriginal；forevenwhatseemsmostcommontalkinonelanguage，iswhatisoftenthemostdifficulttobemadesoinanother；andHorace\'sthoughtsofcomedymaybewellappliedtothis:

Creditur，exmedioquiaresarcessit，habereSudorisminimum；sedhabetcommoediatantumPlusoneris，quantoveniaeminus。

Farbeitfromme，forallthis，tovaluemyselfuponhittingthewordsofcantinwhichmydrollingauthorissoluxuriant；forthoughsuchwordshavestoodmeingoodstead，IscarcecanforbearthinkingmyselfunhappyinhavinginsensiblyhoardedupsomuchgibberishandBillingsgatetrashinmymemory；norcouldIforbearaskingofmyself，asanItaliancardinalsaidonanotheraccount，D\'ondehaitupigliatotantecoglionerie？Wherethedevildidstthourakeupallthesefripperies？

Itwasnotlessdifficulttocomeuptotheauthor\'ssublimeexpressions。