第30章

Thenextday，therewasanothervisittoDoctors’Commons，andagreattodowithanattestinghostler，who，beinginebriated，declinedswearinganythingbutprofaneoaths，tothegreatscandalofaproctorandsurrogate。

Nextweek，thereweremorevisitstoDoctors’Commons，andtherewasavisittotheLegacyDutyOfficebesides，andthereweretreatiesenteredinto，forthedisposaloftheleaseandbusiness，andratificationsofthesame，andinventoriestobemadeout，andlunchestobetaken，anddinnerstobeeaten，andsomanyprofitablethingstobedone，andsuchamassofpapersaccumulated，thatMr。SolomonPell，andtheboy，andthebluebagtoboot，allgotsostoutthatscarcelyanybodywouldhaveknownthemforthesameman，boy，andbag，thathadloiteredaboutPortugalStreet，afewdaysbefore。

Atlengthalltheseweightymattersbeingarranged，adaywasfixedforsellingoutandtransferringthestock，andofwaitingwiththatviewuponWilkinsFlasher，Esq。，stock-broker，ofsomewhereneartheBank，whohadbeenrecommendedbyMr。SolomonPellforthepurpose。

Itwasakindoffestiveoccasion，andthepartieswereattiredaccordingly。

Mr。Weller’stopswerenewlycleaned，andhisdresswasarrangedwithpeculiarcare。themottled-facedgentlemanworeathisbutton-holeafull-sizeddahliawithseveralleaves。andthecoatsofhistwofriendswereadornedwithnosegaysoflaurelandotherevergreens。Allthreewerehabitedinstrictholidaycostume。thatistosay，theywerewrappeduptothechins，andworeasmanyclothesaspossible，whichis，andhasbeen，astage-coachman’sideaoffulldresseversincestagecoacheswereinvented。

Mr。Pellwaswaitingattheusualplaceofmeetingattheappointedtime。evenMr。Pellworeapairofglovesandacleanshirtmuchfrayedatthecollarandwristbandsbyfrequentwashings。

Aquartertotwo，saidPell，lookingattheparlourclock。IfwearewithMr。Flasherataquarterpast，weshalljusthitthebesttime。

Whatshouldyousaytoadropo’beer，gen’l’m’n？suggestedthemottled-facedman。

Andalittlebito’coldbeef，saidthesecondcoachman。

Oraoyster，addedthethird，whowasahoarsegentleman，supportedbyveryroundlegs。

Hear，hear！saidPell。tocongratulateMr。Weller，onhiscomingintopossessionofhisproperty：eh？ha！ha！

I’mquiteagreeable，gen’l’m’n，answeredMr。Weller。Sammy，pullthebell。

Samcomplied。andtheporter，coldbeef，andoystersbeingpromptlyproduced，thelunchwasdoneamplejusticeto。Whereeverybodytooksoactiveapart，itisalmostinvidioustomakeadistinction。butifoneindividualevincedgreaterpowersthananother，itwasthecoachmanwiththehoarsevoice，whotookanimperialpintofvinegarwithhisoysters，withoutbetrayingtheleastemotion。

Mr。Pell，sir，saidtheelderMr。Weller，stirringaglassofbrandyandwater，ofwhichonewasplacedbeforeeverygentlemanwhentheoystershellswereremoved，Mr。Pell，sir，itwosmyintentiontohaveproposedthefunsonthisoccasion，butSamivelhasvisperedtome——

HereMr。SamuelWeller，whohadsilentlyeatenhisoysterswithtranquilsmiles，criedHear！inaveryloudvoice——

Hasvisperedtome，resumedhisfather，thatitvouldbebettertodewotetheliquortovishin’yousuccessandprosperity，andthankin’

youforthemannerinwhichyou’vebroughtthisherebusinessthrough。

Here’syourhealth，sir。

Holdhardthere，interposedthemottled-facedgentleman，withsuddenenergy，youreyesonme，gen’l’m’n！

Sayingthis，themottled-facedgentlemanrose，asdidtheothergentlemen。

Themottled-facedgentlemanreviewedthecompany，andslowlyliftedhishand，uponwhicheveryman(includinghimofthemottledcountenance)drewalongbreath，andliftedhistumblertohislips。Inoneinstantthemottled-facedgentlemandepressedhishandagain，andeveryglasswassetdownempty。

Itisimpossibletodescribethethrillingeffectproducedbythisstrikingceremony。Atoncedignified，solemn，andimpressive，itcombinedeveryelementofgrandeur。

Well，gentlemen，saidMr。Pell，allIcansayis，thatsuchmarksofconfidencemustbeverygratifyingtoaprofessionalman。Idon’twishtosayanythingthatmightappearegotistical，gentlemen，butI’mveryglad，foryourownsakes，thatyoucametome：that’sall。Ifyouhadgonetoanylowmemberoftheprofession，it’smyfirmconviction，andIassureyouofitasafact，thatyouwouldhavefoundyourselvesinQueerStreetbeforethis。Icouldhavewishedmynoblefriendhadbeenalivetohaveseenmymanagementofthiscase。Idon’tsayitoutofpride，butIthink——however，gentlemen，Iwon’ttroubleyouwiththat。I’mgenerallytobefoundhere，gentlemen，butifI’mnothere，orovertheway，that’smyaddress。You’llfindmytermsverycheapandreasonable，andnomanattendsmoretohisclientsthanIdo，andIhopeIknowalittleofmyprofessionbesides。

Ifyouhaveanyopportunityofrecommendingmetoanyofyourfriends，gentlemen，Ishallbeverymuchobligedtoyou，andsowilltheytoo，whentheycometoknowme。Yourhealths，gentlemen。

Withthisexpressionofhisfeelings，Mr。SolomonPelllaidthreesmallwrittencardsbeforeMr。Weller’sfriends，and，lookingattheclockagain，feareditwastimetobewalking。UponthishintMr。Wellersettledthebill，and，issuingforth，theexecutor，legatee，attorney，andumpires，directedtheirstepstowardstheCity。

TheofficeofWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，oftheStockExchange，wasinafirstfloorupacourtbehindtheBankofEngland。thehouseofWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，wasatBrixton，Surrey。thehorseandstanhopeofWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，wereatanadjacentliverystable。thegroomofWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，wasonhiswaytotheWestEndtodeliversomegame。

theclerkofWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，hadgonetohisdinner。andsoWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，himself，cried，Comein，whenMr。Pellandhiscompanionsknockedatthecounting-housedoor。

Goodmorning，sir，saidPell，bowingobsequiously。Wewanttomakealittletransfer，ifyouplease。

Oh，comein，willyou？saidMr。Flasher。Sitdownaminute。I’llattendtoyoudirectly。

Thankyou，sir，saidPell，there’snohurry。Takeachair，Mr。Weller。

Mr。Wellertookachair，andSamtookabox，andtheumpirestookwhattheycouldget，andlookedatthealmanackandoneortwopaperswhichwerewaferedagainstthewall，withasmuchopen-eyedreverenceasiftheyhadbeenthefinesteffortsoftheoldmasters。

Well，I’llbetyouhalfadozenofclaretonit。come！saidWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，resumingtheconversationtowhichMr。Pell’sentrancehadcausedamomentaryinterruption。

Thiswasaddressedtoaverysmartyounggentlemanwhoworehishatonhisrightwhisker，andwasloungingoverthedesk，killingflieswitharuler。WilkinsFlasher，Esquire，wasbalancinghimselfontwolegsofanofficestool，spearingawafer-boxwithapen-knife，whichhedroppedeverynowandthenwithgreatdexterityintotheverycentreofasmallredwaferthatwasstuckoutside。Bothgentlemenhadveryopenwaistcoatsandveryrollingcollars，andverysmallboots，andverybigrings，andverylittlewatches，andverylargeguard-chains，andsymmetricalinexpressibles，andscentedpocket-handkerchiefs。

Ineverbethalfadozen，saidtheothergentleman。I’lltakeadozen。

Done，Simmery，done！saidWilkinsFlasher，Esquire。

P。P。，mind，observedtheother。

Ofcourse，repliedWilkinsFlasher，Esquire。WilkinsFlasher，Esquire，entereditinalittlebook，withagoldpencil-case，andtheothergentlemanentereditalso，inanotherlittlebookwithanothergoldpencil-case。

Iseethere’sanoticeupthismorningaboutBoffer，observedMr。

Simmery。Poordevil，he’sexpelledthehouse！

I’llbetyoutenguineastofive，hecutshisthroat，saidWilkinsFlasher，Esquire。

Done，repliedMr。Simmery。

Stop！Ibar，saidWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，thoughtfully。Perhapshemayhanghimself。

Verygood，rejoinedMr。Simmery，pullingoutthegoldpencil-caseagain。I’venoobjectiontotakeyouthatway。Say，makesawaywithhimself。

Killshimself，infact，saidWilkinsFlasher，Esquire。

Justso，repliedMr。Simmery，puttingitdown。

`Flasher——tenguineastofive，Bofferkillshimself。’Withinwhattimeshallwesay？

Afortnight？suggestedWilkinsFlasher，Esquire。

Con-foundit，no。rejoinedMr。Simmery，stoppingforaninstanttosmashaflywiththeruler。Sayaweek。

Splitthedifference，saidWilkinsFlasher，Esquire。Makeittendays。

Well。tendays，rejoinedMr。Simmery。

So，itwasentereddowninthelittlebooksthatBofferwastokillhimselfwithintendays，orWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，wastohandovertoFrankSimmery，Esquire，thesumoftenguineas。andthatifBofferdidkillhimselfwithinthattime，FrankSimmery，Esquire，wouldpaytoWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，fiveguineas，instead。

I’mverysorryhehasfailed，saidWilkinsFlasher，Esquire。Capitaldinnershegave。

Fineporthehadtoo，remarkedMr。Simmery。Wearegoingtosendourbutlertothesaleto-morrow，topickupsomeofthatsixty-four。

Thedevilyouare，saidWilkinsFlasher，Esquire。Myman’sgoingtoo。Fiveguineasmymanoutbidsyourman。

Done。

Anotherentrywasmadeinthelittlebooks，withthegoldpencil-cases。

andMr。Simmeryhaving，bythistime，killedallthefliesandtakenallthebets，strolledawaytotheStockExchangetoseewhatwasgoingforward。

WilkinsFlasher，Esquire，nowcondescendedtoreceiveMr。SolomonPell’sinstructions，andhavingfilledupsomeprintedforms，requestedthepartytofollowhimtotheBank：whichtheydid：Mr。Wellerandhisthreefriendsstaringatalltheybeheldinunboundedastonishment，andSamencounteringeverythingwithacoolnesswhichnothingcoulddisturb。

Crossingacourt-yardwhichwasallnoiseandbustle。andpassingacoupleofporterswhoseemeddressedtomatchtheredfireenginewhichwaswheeledawayintoacorner。theypassedintoanofficewheretheirbusinesswastobetransacted，andwherePellandMr。Flasherleftthemstandingforafewmoments，whiletheywentup-stairsintotheWillOffice。

Wotplaceisthishere？whisperedthemottled-facedgentlemantotheelderMr。Weller。

Counsel’sOffice，repliedtheexecutorinawhisper。

Wotarethemgen’l’menasettin’behindthecounters？askedthehoarsecoachman。

Reducedcounsels，Is’pose，repliedMr。Weller。Ain’ttheythereducedcounsels，Samivel？

Wy，youdon’tsupposethereducedcounselsisalive，doyou？inquiredSam，withsomedisdain。

HowshouldIknow？retortedMr。Weller。Ithoughttheylookedwerylikeit。Wotarethey，then？

Clerks，repliedSam。

Wotaretheyallaeatin’hamsangwidgesfor？inquiredhisfather。

’Cosit’sintheirdooty，Isuppose，repliedSam，it’saparto’

thesystem。they’realvaysadoin’ithere，alldaylong！

Mr。Wellerandhisfriendshadscarcelyhadamomenttoreflectuponthissingularregulationasconnectedwiththemonetarysystemofthecountry，whentheywererejoinedbyPellandWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，wholedthemtoapartofthecounterabovewhichwasaroundblackboardwithalargeW。onit。

Wot’sthatfor，sir？inquiredMr。Weller，directingPell’sattentiontothetargetinquestion。

Thefirstletterofthenameofthedeceased，repliedPell。

Isay，saidMr。Weller，turningroundtotheumpires。There’ssomethin’

wronghere。We’sourletter——thiswon’tdo。

Therefereesatoncegaveitastheirdecidedopinionthatthebusinesscouldnotbelegallyproceededwith，undertheletterW，andinallprobabilityitwouldhavestoodoverforonedayatleast，haditnotbeenfortheprompt，though，atfirstsight，undutifulbehaviourofSam，who，seizinghisfatherbytheskirtofthecoat，draggedhimtothecounter，andpinnedhimthere，untilhehadaffixedhissignaturetoacoupleofinstruments。

whichfromMr。Weller’shabitofprinting，wasaworkofsomuchlabourandtime，thattheofficiatingclerkpeeledandatethreeRibstonpippinswhileitwasperforming。

AstheelderMr。Wellerinsistedonsellingouthisportionforthwith，theyproceededfromtheBanktothegateoftheStockExchange，towhichWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，afterashortabsence，returnedwithachequeonSmith，Payne，andSmith，forfivehundredandthirtypounds。thatbeingthesumofmoneytowhichMr。Welleratthemarketpriceoftheday，wasentitled，inconsiderationofthebalanceofthesecondMrs。Weller’sfundedsavings。Sam’stwohundredpoundsstoodtransferredtohisname，andWilkinsFlasher，Esquire，havingbeenpaidhiscommission，droppedthemoneycarelesslyintohiscoatpocket，andloungedbacktohisoffice。

Mr。Wellerwasatfirstobstinatelydeterminedoncashingthechequeinnothingbutsovereigns：butitbeingrepresentedbytheumpiresthatbysodoinghemustincurtheexpenseofasmallsacktocarrythemhomein，heconsentedtoreceivetheamountinfive-poundnotes。

Myson，saidMr。Weller，astheycameoutofthebanking-house，mysonandmehasaweryparticularengagementthisarternoon，andIshouldliketohavethisherebis’nesssettledoutofhand，solet’sjestgostraightavaysomeveres，verevecanhordittheaccounts。

Aquietroomwassoonfound，andtheaccountswereproducedandaudited。

Mr。Pell’sbillwastaxedbySam，andsomechargesweredisallowedbytheumpires。but，notwithstandingMr。Pell’sdeclaration，accompaniedwithmanysolemnasseverationsthattheywerereallytooharduponhim，itwasbyverymanydegreesthebestprofessionaljobhehadeverhad，andoneonwhichheboarded，lodged，andwashed，forsixmonthsafterwards。

Theumpireshavingpartakenofadram，shookhandsanddeparted，astheyhadtodriveoutoftownthatnight。Mr。SolomonPell，findingthatnothingmorewasgoingforward，eitherintheeatingordrinkingway，tookafriendlyleave，andSamandhisfatherwereleftalone。

There！saidMr。Weller，thrustinghispocket-bookinhissidepocket。

Viththebillsforthelease，andthat，there’selevenhundredandeightypoundhere。Now，Samivel，myboy，turnthehorses’headstotheGeorgeandWulter！

[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter56[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERLVIANIMPORTANTCONFERENCETAKESPLACEBETWEENMR。PICKWICK

ANDSAMUELWELLER，ATWHICHHISPARENTASSISTS。ANOLDGENTLEMANINASNUFF-COLOURED

SUITARRIVESUNEXPECTEDLY

MR。PICKWICKwassittingalone，musingovermanythings，andthinkingamongotherconsiderationshowhecouldbestprovidefortheyoungcouplewhosepresentunsettledconditionwasmatterofconstantregretandanxietytohim，whenMarysteppedlightlyintotheroom，and，advancingtothetable，said，ratherhastily：

Oh，ifyouplease，sir，Samuelisdown-stairs，andhesaysmayhisfatherseeyou？

Surely，repliedMr。Pickwick。

Thankyou，sir，saidMary，trippingtowardsthedooragain。

Samhasnotbeenherelong，hashe？inquiredMr。Pickwick。

Oh，no，sir，repliedMaryeagerly。Hehasonlyjustcomehome。Heisnotgoingtoaskyouforanymoreleave，sir，hesays。

Marymighthavebeenconsciousthatshehadcommunicatedthislastintelligencewithmorewarmththanseemedactuallynecessary，orshemighthaveobservedthegood-humouredsmilewithwhichMr。Pickwickregardedher，whenshehadfinishedspeaking。Shecertainlyhelddownherhead，andexaminedthecornerofaverysmartlittleapron，withmoreclosenessthanthereappearedanyabsoluteoccasionfor。

Tellthemtheycancomeupatonce，byallmeans，saidMr。Pickwick。

Mary，apparentlymuchrelieved，hurriedawaywithhermessage。

Mr。Pickwicktooktwoorthreeturnsupanddowntheroom。andrubbinghischinwithhislefthandashedidso，appearedlostinthought。

Well，well，saidMr。Pickwickatlength，inakindbutsomewhatmelancholytone，itisthebestwayinwhichIcouldrewardhimforhisattachmentandfidelity。letitbeso，inHeaven’sname。Itisthefateofalonelyoldman，thatthoseabouthimshouldformnewanddifferentattachmentsandleavehim。Ihavenorighttoexpectthatitshouldbeotherwisewithme。No，no，addedMr。Pickwickmorecheerfully，itwouldbeselfishandungrateful。Ioughttobehappytohaveanopportunityofprovidingforhimsowell。Iam。OfcourseIam。

Mr。Pickwickhadbeensoabsorbedinthesereflections，thataknockatthedoorwasthreeorfourtimesrepeatedbeforeheheardit。Hastilyseatinghimself，andcallinguphisaccustomedpleasantlooks，hegavetherequiredpermission，andSamWellerentered，followedbyhisfather。

Gladtoseeyoubackagain，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。Howdoyoudo，Mr。Weller？

Weryhearty，thank’ee，sir，repliedthewidower。hopeIseeyouwell，sir。

Quite，Ithankyou，repliedMr。Pickwick。

Iwantedtohavealittlebito’conwersationwithyou，sir，saidMr。Weller，ifyoucouldsparemefiveminitsorso，sir。

Certainly，repliedMr。Pickwick。Sam，giveyourfatherachair。

Thank’ee，Samivel，I’vegotacheerhere，saidMr。Weller，bringingoneforwardashespoke。uncommonfinedayit’sbeen，sir，addedtheoldgentleman，layinghishatonthefloorashesathimselfdown。

Remarkablysoindeed，repliedMr。Pickwick。Veryseasonable。

SeasonablestveatherIeversee，sir，rejoinedMr。Weller。Here，theoldgentlemanwasseizedwithaviolentfitofcoughing，which，beingterminated，henoddedhisheadandwinkedandmadeseveralsupplicatoryandthreateninggesturestohisson，allofwhichSamWellersteadilyabstainedfromseeing。

Mr。Pickwick，perceivingthattherewassomeembarrassmentontheoldgentleman’spart，affectedtobeengagedincuttingtheleavesofabookthatlaybesidehim，andwaitedpatientlyuntilMr。Wellershouldarriveattheobjectofhisvisit。

Ineverseesichaaggerawatin’boyasyouare，Samivel，saidMr。

Weller，lookingindignantlyashisson。neverinallmyborndays。

Whatishedoing，Mr。Weller？inquiredMr。Pickwick。

Hevon’tbegin，sir，rejoinedMr。Weller。heknowsIain’tekaltoex-pressin’myselfventhere’sanythin’particklertobedone，andyethe’llstandandseemeasettin’heretakin’upyourwalabletime，andmakin’areg’larspectacleo’myself，raytherthanhelpmeoutvithasyllable。

Itain’tfilialconduct，Samivel，saidMr。Weller，wipinghisforehead。

weryfarfromit。

Yousaidyou’dspeak，repliedSam。howshouldIknowyouwosdoneupatthewerybeginnin’？

Y