第20章

I’maheavysleeper，saidMr。Dowler，asheflunghimselfonthebed。

Imustkeepawake。IsupposeIshallhearaknockhere。Yes。Ithoughtso。Icanhearthewatchman。Therehegoes。Fainternowthough。Alittlefainter。He’sturningthecorner。Ah！WhenMr。Dowlerarrivedatthispoint，heturnedthecorneratwhichhehadbeenlonghesitating，andfellfastasleep。

Justastheclockstruckthree，therewasblownintothecrescentasedan-chairwithMrs。Dowlerinside，bornebyoneshortfatchairman，andonelongthinone，whohadhadmuchadotokeeptheirbodiesperpendicular：

tosaynothingofthechair。Butonthathighground，andinthecrescent，whichthewindsweptroundandroundasifitweregoingtotearthepavingstonesup，itsfurywastremendous。Theywereverygladtosetthechairdown，andgiveagoodroundlouddouble-knockatthestreetdoor。

Theywaitedsometime，butnobodycame。

Servantsisinthearmso’Porpus，Ithink，saidtheshortchairman，warminghishandsattheattendantlink-boy’storch。

Iwishhe’dgive’emasqueezeandwake’em，observedthelongone。

Knockagain，willyou，ifyouplease，criedMrs。Dowlerfromthechair。

Knocktwoorthreetimes，ifyouplease。

Theshortmanwasquitewillingtogetthejobover，assoonaspossible。

sohestoodonthestep，andgavefourorfivemoststartlingdoubleknocks，ofeightortenknocksapiece：whilethelongmanwentintotheroad，andlookedupatthewindowsforalight。

Nobodycame。Itwasallassilentanddarkasever。

Dearme！saidMrs。Dowler。Youmustknockagain，ifyouplease。

Thereain’tabell，isthere，ma’am？saidtheshortchairman。

Yes，thereis，interposedthelink-boy，I’vebeenaringingatiteversolong。

It’sonlyahandle，saidMrs。Dowler，thewire’sbroken。

Iwishtheservants’headswos，growledthelongman。

Imusttroubleyoutoknockagain，ifyouplease，saidMrs。Dowlerwiththeutmostpoliteness。

Theshortmandidknockagainseveraltimes，withoutproducingthesmallesteffect。Thetallman，growingveryimpatient，thenrelievedhim，andkeptonperpetuallyknockingdouble-knocksoftwoloudknockseach，likeaninsanepostman。

AtlengthMr。Winklebegantodreamthathewasataclub，andthatthemembersbeingveryrefractory，thechairmanwasobligedtohammerthetableagooddealtopreserveorder。then，hehadaconfusednotionofanauctionroomwheretherewerenobidders，andtheauctioneerwasbuyingeverythingin。andultimatelyhebegantothinkitjustwithintheboundsofpossibilitythatsomebodymightbeknockingatthestreetdoor。Tomakequitecertain，however，heremainedquietinbedfortenminutesorso，andlistened。andwhenhehadcountedtwoorthreeandthirtyknocks，hefeltquitesatisfied，andgavehimselfagreatdealofcreditforbeingsowakeful。

Raprap——raprap——raprap——ra，ra，ra，ra，ra，rap！wenttheknocker。

Mr。Winklejumpedoutofbed，wonderingverymuchwhatcouldpossiblybethematter，andhastilyputtingonhisstockingsandslippers，foldedhisdressinggownroundhim，lightedaflatcandlefromtherush-lightthatwasburninginthefire-place，andhurrieddown-stairs。

Here’ssomebodycomin’atlast，ma’am，saidtheshortchairman。

IwishIwosbehindhimvithabradawl，mutteredthelongone。

Who’sthere？criedMr。Winkle，undoingthechain。

Don’tstoptoaskquestions，cast-ironhead，repliedthelongman，withgreatdisgust，takingitforgrantedthattheinquirerwasafootman。

butopenthedoor。

Come，looksharp，timbereye-lids，addedtheotherencouragingly。

Mr。Winkle，beinghalfasleep，obeyedthecommandmechanically，openedthedooralittle，andpeepedout。Thefirstthinghesaw，wastheredglareofthelink-boy’storch。Startledbythesuddenfearthatthehousemightbeonfire，hehastilythrewthedoorwideopen，andholdingthecandleabovehishead，staredeagerlybeforehim，notquitecertainwhetherwhathesawwasasedan-chairorafire-engine。Atthisinstanttherecameaviolentgustofwind。thelightwasblownout。Mr。Winklefelthimselfirresistiblyimpelledontothesteps。andthedoorblewto，withaloudcrash。

Well，youngman，nowyouhavedoneit！saidtheshortchairman。

Mr。Winkle，catchingsightofalady’sfaceatthewindowofthesedan，turnedhastilyround，pliedtheknockerwithallhismightandmain，andcalledfranticallyuponthechairmantotakethechairawayagain。

Takeitaway，takeitaway，criedMr。Winkle。Here’ssomebodycomingoutofanotherhouse。putmeintothechair。Hideme！Dosomethingwithme！

Allthistimehewasshiveringwithcold。andeverytimeheraisedhishandtotheknocker，thewindtookthedressinggowninamostunpleasantmanner。

ThepeoplearecomingdowntheCrescentnow。Thereareladieswith’em。covermeupwithsomething。Standbeforeme！roaredMr。Winkle。Butthechairmenweretoomuchexhaustedwithlaughingtoaffordhimtheslightestassistance，andtheladieswereeverymomentapproachingnearerandnearer。

Mr。Winklegavealasthopelessknock。theladieswereonlyafewdoorsoff。Hethrewawaytheextinguishedcandle，which，allthistime，hehadheldabovehishead，andfairlyboltedintothesedan-chairwhereMrs。

Dowlerwas。

Now，Mrs。Craddockhadheardtheknockingandthevoicesatlast。and，onlywaitingtoputsomethingsmarteronherheadthanhernight-cap，randownintothefrontdrawing-roomtomakesurethatitwastherightparty。

Throwingupthewindow-sashasMr。Winklewasrushingintothechair，shenosoonercaughtsightofwhatwasgoingforwardbelow，thansheraisedavehementanddismalshriek，andimploredMr。Dowlertogetupdirectly，forhiswifewasrunningawaywithanothergentleman。

UponthisMr。DowlerbouncedoffthebedasabruptlyasanIndia-rubberball，andrushingintothefrontroom，arrivedatonewindowjustasMr。

Pickwickthrewuptheother：whenthefirstobjectthatmetthegazeofboth，wasMr。Winkleboltingintothesedan-chair。

Watchman，shoutedDowlerfuriously。stophim——holdhim——keephimtight——shuthimin，tillIcomedown。I’llcuthisthroat——givemeaknife——fromeartoear，Mrs。Craddock——Iwill！Andbreakingfromtheshriekinglandlady，andfromMr。Pickwicktheindignanthusbandseizedasmallsupper-knife，andtoreintothestreet。

ButMr。Winkledidn’twaitforhim。HenosoonerheardthehorriblethreatofthevalorousDowler，thanhebouncedoutofthesedan，quiteasquicklyashehadbouncedin，andthrowingoffhisslippersintotheroad，tooktohisheelsandtoreroundtheCrescent，hotlypursuedbyDowlerandthewatchman。Hekeptahead。thedoorwasopenashecameroundthesecondtime。herushedin，slammeditinDowler’sface，mountedtohisbed-room，lockedthedoor，piledawash-hand-stand，chestofdrawers，andtableagainstit，andpackedupafewnecessariesreadyforflightwiththefirstrayofmorning。

Dowlercameuptotheoutsideofthedoor。avowed，throughthekeyhole，hissteadfastdeterminationofcuttingMr。Winkle’sthroatnextday。and，afteragreatconfusionofvoicesinthedrawing-room，amidstwhichthatofMr。Pickwickwasdistinctlyheardendeavouringtomakepeace，theinmatesdispersedtotheirseveralbed-chambers，andallwasquietoncemore。

Itisnotunlikelythattheinquirymaybemade，whereMr。Wellerwas，allthistime？Wewillstatewherehewasinthenextchapter。

[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter37[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXXXVIIHONOURABLYACCOUNTSFORMR。WELLER’SABSENCE，BY

DESCRIBINGASOIREETOWHICHHEWASINVITEDANDWENT。ALSORELATESHOW

HEWASENTRUSTEDBYMR。PICKWICKWITHAPRIVATEMISSIONOFDELICACYAND

IMPORTANCE

MR。WELLER，saidMrs。Craddock，uponthemorningofthisveryeventfulday，here’saletterforyou。

Weryoddthat，saidSam，I’mafeerdtheremustbesomethin’thematter，forIdon’trecollectanygen’l’m’ninmycircleofacquaintanceasiscapableo’writin’one。

Perhapssomethinguncommonhastakenplace，observedMrs。Craddock。

Itmustbesomethin’weryuncommonindeed，ascouldproducealetterouto’anyfriendo’mine，repliedSam，shakinghisheaddubiously。nothin’

lessthananat’ralconwulsion，astheyounggen’l’m’nobservedvenhewostookwithfits。Itcan’tbefromthegov’ner，saidSam，lookingatthedirection。Healwaysprints，Iknow，’coshelearntwritin’fromthelargebillsinthebookin’offices。It’sawerystrangethingnow，wherethisherelettercanha’comefrom。

AsSamsaidthis，hedidwhatagreatmanypeopledowhentheyareuncertainaboutthewriterofanote，——lookedattheseal，andthenatthefront，andthenattheback，andthenatthesides，andthenatthesuperscription。

and，asalastresource，thoughtperhapshemightaswelllookattheinside，andtrytofindout，fromthat。

It’swroteongilt-edgedpaper，saidSam，asheunfoldedit，andsealedinbronzevaxwiththetopofadoor-key。Nowforit。And，withaverygraveface，Mr。Wellerslowlyreadasfollows：

AselectcompanyoftheBathfootmenpresentstheircomplimentstoMr。Weller，andrequeststhepleasureofhiscompanythisevening，toafriendlyswarry，consistingofaboiledlegofmuttonwiththeusualtrimmings。

Theswarrytobeontableathalf-pastnineo’clockpunctually。

Thiswasinclosedinanothernote，whichranthus——

Mr。JohnSmauker，thegentlemanwhohadthepleasureofmeetingMr。

Welleratthehouseoftheirmutualacquaintance，Mr。Bantam，afewdayssince，begstoencloseMr。Wellertheherewithinvitation。IfMr。WellerwillcallonMr。JohnSmaukeratnineo’clock，Mr。JohnSmaukerwillhavethepleasureofintroducingMr。Weller。(Signed)JOHNSMAUKER。

TheenvelopewasdirectedtoblankWeller，Esq。，atMr。Pickwick’s。

andinaparenthesis，inthelefthandcorner，werethewordsairybell，

asaninstructiontothebearer。

Vell，saidSam，thisiscomin’itraytherpowerful，thisis。Ineverheerdabiledlego’muttoncalledaswarryafore。Iwonderwotthey’dcallaroastone。

However，withoutwaitingtodebatethepoint，SamatoncebetookhimselfintothepresenceofMr。Pickwick，andrequestedleaveofabsenceforthatevening，whichwasreadilygranted。Withthispermission，andthestreet-doorkey，SamWellerissuedforthalittlebeforetheappointedtime，andstrolledleisurelytowardsQueenSquare，whichhenosoonergainedthanhehadthesatisfactionofbeholdingMr。JohnSmaukerleaninghispowderedheadagainstalamppostatashortdistanceoff，smokingacigarthroughanambertube。

Howdoyoudo，Mr。Weller？saidMr。JohnSmauker，raisinghishatgracefullywithonehand，whilehegentlywavedtheotherinacondescendingmanner。Howdoyoudo，sir？

Why，reasonablyconwalessent，repliedSam。Howdoyoufindyourself，mydearfeller？

Onlysoso，saidMr。JohnSmauker。

Ah，you’vebeenaworkin’toohard，observedSam。Iwasfearfulyouwould。itwon’tdo，youknow。youmustnotgivewaytothat’ereuncompromisin’

spirito’your’n。

It’snotsomuchthat，Mr。Weller，repliedMr。JohnSmauker，asbadwine。I’mafraidI’vebeendissipating。

Oh！that’sit，isit？saidSam。that’sawerybadcomplaint，that。

Andyetthetemptation，yousee，Mr。Weller，observedMr。JohnSmauker。

Ah，tobesure，saidSam。

Plungedintotheveryvortexofsociety，youknow，Mr。Weller，saidMr。JohnSmaukerwithasigh。

Dreadfulindeed！rejoinedSam。

Butit’salwaystheway，saidMr。JohnSmauker。ifyourdestinyleadsyouintopubliclife，andpublicstation，youmustexpecttobesubjectedtotemptationswhichotherpeopleisfreefrom，Mr。Weller。

Preciselywhatmyunclesaid，venheventintothepublicline，

remarkedSam，andweryrighttheoldgen’l’m’nwos，forhedrankhisselftodeathinsomethin’lessthanaquarter。

Mr。JohnSmaukerlookeddeeplyindignantatanyparallelbeingdrawnbetweenhimselfandthedeceasedgentlemaninquestion。butasSam’sfacewasinthemostimmovablestateofcalmness，hethoughtbetterofit，andlookedaffableagain。

Perhapswehadbetterbewalking，saidMr。Smauker，consultingacoppertime-piecewhichdweltatthebottomofadeepwatch-pocket，andwasraisedtothesurfacebymeansofablackstring，withacopperkeyattheotherend。

P’rapswehad，repliedSam，orthey’lloverdotheswarry，andthat’llspileit。

Haveyoudrankthewaters，Mr。Weller？inquiredhiscompanion，astheywalkedtowardsHighStreet。

Once，repliedSam。

Whatdidyouthinkof’em，sir？

Ithoughttheywospartickleryunpleasant，repliedSam。

Ah，saidMr。JohnSmauker，youdislikedthekillibeatetaste，perhaps？

Idon’tknowmuchaboutthat’ere，saidSam。Ithoughtthey’dawerystrongflavouro’warmflatirons。

Thatisthekillibeate，Mr。Weller，observedMr。JohnSmauker，contemptuously。

Well，ifitis，it’saweryinexpressiveword，that’sall，saidSam。

Itmaybe，butIain’tmuchinthechimicallinemyself，soIcan’tsay。

Andhere，tothegreathorrorofMr。JohnSmauker，SamWellerbegantowhistle。

Ibegyourpardon，Mr。Weller，saidMr。JohnSmauker，agonisedattheexceedinglyungenteelsound，Willyoutakemyarm？

Thank’ee，you’rewerygood，butIwon’tdepriveyouofit，repliedSam。I’veraytherawayo’puttin’myhandsinmypockets，ifit’sallthesametoyou。AsSamsaidthis，hesuitedtheactiontotheword，andwhistledfarlouderthanbefore。

Thisway，saidhisnewfriend，apparentlymuchrelievedastheyturneddownabyestreet。weshallsoonbethere。

Shallwe？saidSam，quiteunmovedbytheannouncementofhisclosevicinitytotheselectfootmenofBath。

Yes，saidMr。JohnSmauker。Don’tbealarmed，Mr。Weller。

Ohno，saidSam。

You’llseesomeveryhandsomeuniforms，Mr。Weller，continuedMr。

JohnSmauker。andperhapsyou’llfindsomeofthegentlemenratherhighatfirst，youknow，butthey’llsooncomeround。

That’swerykindon’em，repliedSam。

Andyouknow，resumedMr。JohnSmauker，withanairofsublimeprotection。

youknow，asyou’reastranger，perhapsthey’llberatherharduponyouatfirst。

Theywon’tbewerycruel，though，willthey？inquiredSam。

No，no，repliedMr。JohnSmauker，pullingforththefox’shead，andtakingagentlemanlypinch。Therearesomefunnydogsamongus，andtheywillhavetheirjoke，youknow。butyoumustn’tmind’em，youmustn’tmind’em。

I’lltryandbearupagainsuchareg’larknockdowno’talent，repliedSam。

That’sright，saidMr。JohnSmauker，puttingupthefox’shead，andelevatinghisown。I’llstandbyyou。

Bythistimetheyhadreachedasmallgreengrocer’sshop，whichMr。

JohnSmaukerentered，followedbySam：who，themomenthegotbehindhim，relapsedintoaseriesoftheverybroadestandmostunmitigatedgrins，andmanifestedotherdemonstrationsofbeinginahighlyenviablestateofinwardmerriment。

Crossingthegreengrocer’sshop，andputtingtheirhatsonthestairsinthelittlepassagebehindit，theywalkedintoasmallparlour。andherethefullsplendourofthesceneburstuponMr。Weller’sview。

Acoupleoftableswereputtogetherinthemiddleoftheparlour，coveredwiththreeorfourclothsofdifferentagesanddatesofwashing，arrangedtolookasmuchlikeoneasthecircumstancesofthecasewouldallow。

Uponthesewerelaidknivesandforksforsixoreightpeople。Someoftheknifehandlesweregreen，othersred，andafewyellow。andasalltheforkswereblack，thecombinationofcolourswasexceedinglystriking。

Platesforacorrespondingnumberofguestswerewarmingbehindthefender。

andthegueststhemselveswerewarmingbeforeit：thechiefandmostimportantofwhomappearedtobeastoutishgentlemaninabrightcrimsoncoatwithlongtails，vividlyredbreeches，andacockedhat，whowasstandingwithhisbacktothefire，andhadapparentlyjustentered，forbesidesretaininghiscockedhatonhishead，hecarriedinhishandahighstick，suchasgentlemenofhisprofessionusuallyelevateinaslopingpositionovertheroofsofcarriages。

Smauker，mylad，yourfin，saidthegentlemanwiththecockedhat。

Mr。Smaukerdovetailedthetopjointofhisrighthandlittlefingerintothatofthegentlemanwiththecockedhat，andsaidhewascharmedtoseehimlookingsowell。

Well，theytellmeIamlookingprettyblooming，saidthemanwiththecockedhat，andit’sawonder，too。I’vebeenfollowingouroldwomanabout，twohoursa-day，forthelastfortnight。andifaconstantcontemplationofthemannerinwhichshehooks-and-eyesthatinfernallavendercolouredoldgownofhersbehind，isn’tenoughtothrowanybodyintoalowstateofdespondencyforlife，stopmyquarter’ssalary。

Atthis，theassembledselectionslaughedveryheartily。andonegentlemaninayellowwaistcoat，withacoachtrimmingborder，whisperedaneighbouringreen-foilsmalls，thatTucklewasinspiritsto-night。

Bythebye，saidMr。Tuckle，Smauker，myboy，you——TheremainderofthesentencewasforwardedintoMr。JohnSmauker’sear，bywhisper。

Oh，dearme，Iquiteforgot，saidMr。JohnSmauker。Gentlemen，myfriendMr。Weller。

Sorrytokeepthefireoffyou，Weller，saidMr。Tuckle，withafamiliarnod。Hopeyou’renotcold，Weller。

Notbynomeans，Blazes，repliedSam。It’udbeawerychillysubjectasfeltcoldwenyoustoodopposit。You’dsavecoalsiftheyputyoubehindthefenderinthewaitin’roomatapublicoffice，youwould。

AsthisretortappearedtoconveyratherapersonalallusiontoMr。

Tuckle’scrimsonlivery，thatgentlemanlookedmajesticforafewseconds，butgraduallyedgingawayfromthefire，brokeintoaforcedsmile，andsaiditwasn’tbad。

Werymuchobligedforyourgoodopinion，sir，repliedSam。Weshallgetonbydegrees，Ides-say。We’lltryabetterone，bye-and-bye。

Atthispointtheconversationwasinterruptedbythearrivalofagentlemaninorange-colouredplush，accompaniedbyanotherselectioninpurplecloth，withagreatextentofstocking。Thenew-comershavingbeenwelcomedbytheoldones，Mr。Tuckleputthequestionthatsupperbeorderedin，whichwascarriedunanimously。

Thegreengrocerandhiswifethenarrangeduponthetableaboiledlegofmutton，hot，withcapersauce，turnips，andpotatoes。Mr。Tuckletookthechair，andwassupportedattheotherendoftheboardbythegentlemaninorangeplush。Thegreengrocerputonapairofwash-leatherglovestohandtheplateswith，andstationedhimselfbehindMr。Tuckle’schair。

Harris，saidMr。Tuckle，inacommandingtone。

Sir，saidthegreengrocer。

Haveyougotyourgloveson？

Yes，sir。

Thentakethekiveroff。

Yes，sir。

Thegreengrocerdidashewastold，withashowofgreathumility，andobsequiouslyhandedMr。Tucklethecarvingknife。indoingwhich，heaccidentallygaped。

Whatdoyoumeanbythat，sir？saidMr。Tuckle，withgreatasperity。

Ibegyourpardon，sir，repliedthecrest-fallengreengrocer，Ididn’tmeantodoit，sir。Iwasupverylatelastnight，sir。

Itellyouwhatmyopinionofyouis，Harris，saidMr。Tucklewithamostimpressiveair，you’reawulgarbeast。

Ihope，gentlemen，saidHarris，thatyouwon’tbeseverewithme，gentlemen。I’mverymuchobligedtoyouindeed，gentlemen，foryourpatronage，andalsoforyourrecommendations，gentlemen，wheneveradditionalassistanceinwaitingisrequired。Ihope，gentlemen，Igivesatisfaction。

No，youdon’t，sir，saidMr。Tuckle。Veryfarfromit，sir。

Weconsideryouaninattentivereskel，saidthegentlemanintheorangeplush。

Andalowthief，addedthegentlemaninthegreen-foilsmalls。

Andanunreclaimableblaygaird，addedthegentlemaninpurple。

Thepoorgreengrocerbowedveryhumblywhiletheselittleepithetswerebestoweduponhim，inthetruespiritoftheverysmallesttyranny。andwheneverybodyhadsaidsomethingtoshowhissuperiority，Mr。Tuckleproceededtocarvethelegofmutton，andtohelpthecompany。

Thisimportantbusinessoftheeveninghadhardlycommenced，whenthedoorwasthrownbrisklyopen，andanothergentlemaninalight-bluesuit，andleadenbuttons，madehisappearance。

Againsttherules，saidMr。Tuckle。Toolate，toolate。

No，no。positivelyIcouldn’thelpit，saidthegentlemaninblue。

Iappealtothecompany。Anaffairofgallantrynow，anappointmentatthetheayter。

Oh，thatindeed，saidthegentlemanintheorangeplush。

Yes。ralynow，honourbright，saidthemaninblue。Imadeapromesetofetchouryoungestdaughterathalfpastten，andsheissuchanuncauminlyfinegal，thatIralyhadn’tthe’arttodisappinther。Nooffencetothepresentcompany，sir，butapetticut，sir，apetticut，sir，isirrevokeable。

Ibegintosuspectthere’ssomethinginthatquarter，saidTuckle，asthenew-comertookhisseatnextSam。I’veremarked，onceortwice，thatsheleansveryheavyonyourshoulderwhenshegetsinandoutofthecarriage。

Ohraly，raly，Tuckle，youshouldn’t，saidthemaninblue。It’snotfair。Imayhavesaidtooneortwofriendsthatshewasaverydivinecreechure，andhadrefusedoneortwoofferswithoutanyhobvuscause，but——no，no，no，indeed，Tuckle——beforestrangers，too——it’snotright——youshouldn’t。Delicacy，mydearfriend，delicacy！Andthemaninblue，pullinguphisneckerchief，andadjustinghiscoatcuffs，noddedandfrownedasifthereweremorebehind，whichhecouldsayifheliked，butwasboundinhonourtosuppress。

Themaninbluebeingalight-haired，stiff-necked，freeandeasysortoffootman，withaswaggeringairandpertface，hadattractedMr。Weller’sespecialattentionatfirst，butwhenhebegantocomeoutinthisway，Samfeltmorethaneverdisposedtocultivatehisacquaintance。sohelaunchedhimselfintotheconversationatonce，withcharacteristicindependence。

Yourhealth，sir，saidSam。Ilikeyourconwersationmuch。Ithinkit’swerypretty。

Atthisthemaninbluesmiled，asifitwereacomplimenthewaswellusedto。butlookedapprovinglyonSamatthesametime，andsaidhehopedheshouldbebetteracquaintedwithhim，forwithoutanyflatteryatallheseemedtohavethemakingsofaverynicefellowabouthim，andtobejustthemanafterhisownheart。

You’rewerygood，sir，saidSam。Whataluckyfelleryouare！

Howdoyoumean？inquiredthegentlemaninblue。

That’ereyounglady，repliedSam。Sheknowswot’swot，shedoes。

Ah！Isee。Mr。Wellerclosedoneeye，andshookhisheadfromsidetoside，inamannerwhichwashighlygratifyingtothepersonalvanityofthegentlemaninblue。

I’mafraidyou’reacunningfellow，Mr。Weller，saidthatindividual。

No，no，saidSam。Ileaveallthat’eretoyou。It’sagreatdealmoreinyourwaythanmine，asthegen’l’m’nontherightsideo’thegardenvallsaidtothemanonthewrong’un，venthemadbullwosacomin’upthelane。

Well，well，Mr。Weller，saidthegentlemaninblue，Ithinkshehasremarkedmyairandmanner，Mr。Weller。

Ishouldthinkshecouldn’twerywellbeoffo’that，saidSam。

Haveyouanylittlethingofthatkindinhand，sir？inquiredthefavouredgentlemaninblue，drawingatoothpickfromhiswaistcoatpocket。

Notexactly，saidSam。There’snodaughtersatmyplace，elseo’

courseIshouldha’madeuptovunof’em。Asitis，Idon’tthinkIcandoanythin’underafemalemarkis。Imighttakeupwithayoung’oomano’largepropertyashadn’tatitle，ifshemadeweryfiercelovetome。

Notelse。

Ofcoursenot，Mr。Weller，saidthegentlemaninblue，onecan’tbetroubled，youknow。andweknow，Mr。Weller——we，whoaremenoftheworld——thatagooduniformmustworkitswaywiththewomen，soonerorlater。Infact，that’stheonlything，betweenyouandme，thatmakestheserviceworthenteringinto。

Justso，saidSam。That’sit，o’course。

Whenthisconfidentialdialoguehadgonethusfar，glasseswereplacedround，andeverygentlemanorderedwhathelikedbest，beforethepublic-houseshutup。Thegentlemaninblue，andthemaninorange，whowerethechiefexquisitesoftheparty，orderedcoldsrubandwater，butwiththeothers，ginandwater，sweet，appearedtobethefavouritebeverage。Samcalledthegreengroceradesp’ratewillin，andorderedalargebowlofpunch。

twocircumstanceswhichseemedtoraisehimverymuchintheopinionoftheselections。

Gentleman，saidthemaninblue，withanairofthemostconsummatedandyism，I’llgiveyoutheladies。come。

Hear，hear！saidSam，Theyoungmississes。

HeretherewasaloudcryofOrder，andMr。JohnSmauker，asthegentlemanwhohadintroducedMr。Wellerintothatcompany，beggedtoinformhimthatthewordhehadjustmadeuseof，wasunparliamentary。

Whichwordwasthat’ere，sir？inquiredSam。

Mississes，sir，repliedMr。JohnSmauker，withanalarmingfrown。

Wedon’trecognisesuchdistinctionshere。

Oh，werygood，Samsaid。thenI’llamendtheobserwation，andcallthemthedearcreeturs，ifBlazesvillallowme。

Somedoubtappearedtoexistinthemindofthegentlemaninthegreen-foilsmalls，whetherthechairmancouldbelegallyappealedto，asBlazes，

butasthecompanyseemedmoredisposedtostandupontheirownrightsthanhis，thequestionwasnotraised。Themanwiththecockedhatbreathedshort，andlookedlongatSam，butapparentlythoughtitaswelltosaynothing，incaseheshouldgettheworstofit。

Afterashortsilence，agentlemaninanembroideredcoatreachingdowntohisheels，andawaistcoatofthesamewhichkeptonehalfofhislegswarm，stirredhisginandwaterwithgreatenergy，andputtinghimselfuponhisfeet，allatonce，byaviolenteffort，saidhewasdesirousofofferingafewremarkstothecompany：whereuponthepersoninthecockedhat，hadnodoubtthatthecompanywouldbeveryhappytohearanyremarksthatthemaninthelongcoatmightwishtooffer。

Ifeelagreatdelicacy，gentlemen，incomingfor’ard，saidthemaninthelongcoat，havingthemisforchunetobeacoachman，andbeingonlyadmittedasahonorarymemberoftheseagreeableswarrys，butIdofeelmyselfbound，gentlemen——droveintoacorner，ifImayusetheexpression——tomakeknownanafflictingcircumstancewhichhascometomyknowledge。whichhashappenedImaysaywithinthesoapofmyeverydaycontemplation。Gentlemen，ourfriendMr。Whiffers(everybodylookedattheindividualinorange)，ourfriendMr。Whiffershasresigned。

Universalastonishmentfelluponthehearers。Eachgentlemanlookedinhisneighbour’sface，andthentransferredhisglancetotheupstandingcoachman。

Youmaywellbesapparised，gentlemen，saidthecoachman。Iwillnotwenchuretostatethereasonsofthisirrepairabellosstotheservice，butIwillbegMr。Whifferstostatethemhimself，fortheimprovementandimitationofhisadmiringfriends。

Thesuggestionbeingloudlyapprovedof，Mr。Whiffersexplained。Hesaidhecertainlycouldhavewishedtohavecontinuedtoholdtheappointmenthehadjustresigned。Theuniformwasextremelyrichandexpensive，thefemalesofthefamilywasmostagreeable，andthedutiesofthesituationwasnot，hewasboundtosay，tooheavy。theprincipalservicethatwasrequiredofhim，being，thatheshouldlookoutofthehallwindowasmuchaspossible，incompanywithanothergentleman，whohadalsoresigned。

Hecouldhavewishedtohavesparedthatcompanythepainfulanddisgustingdetailonwhichhewasabouttoenter，butastheexplanationhadbeendemandedofhim，hehadnoalternativebuttostate，boldlyanddistinctly，thathehadbeenrequiredtoeatcoldmeat。

Itisimpossibletoconceivethedisgustwhichthisavowalawakenedinthebosomsofthehearers。LoudcriesofShame！mingledwithgroansandhisses，prevailedforaquarterofanhour。

Mr。Whiffersthenaddedthathefearedaportionofthisoutragemightbetracedtohisownforbearingandaccommodatingdisposition。Hehadadistinctrecollectionofhavingonceconsentedtoeatsaltbutter，andhehad，moreover，onanoccasionofsuddensicknessinthehouse，sofarforgottenhimselfastocarryacoalscuttleuptothesecondfloor。Hetrustedhehadnotloweredhimselfinthegoodopinionofhisfriendsbyhisfrankconfessionofhisfaults。andhehopedthepromptnesswithwhichhehadresentedthelastunmanlyoutrageonhisfeelings，towhichhehadreferred，wouldreinstatehimintheirgoodopinion，ifhehad。

Mr。Whiffers’addresswasrespondedto，withashoutofadmiration，andthehealthoftheinterestingmartyrwasdrunkinamostenthusiasticmanner。forthis，themartyrreturnedthanks，andproposedtheirvisitor，Mr。Weller。agentlemanwhomhehadnotthepleasureofanintimateacquaintancewith，butwhowasthefriendofMr。JohnSmauker，whichwasasufficientletterofrecommendationtoanysocietyofgentlemenwhatever，orwherever。

Onthisaccount，heshouldhavebeendisposedtohavegivenMr。Weller’shealthwithallthehonours，ifhisfriendshadbeendrinkingwine。butastheyweretakingspiritsbywayofachange，andasitmightbeinconvenienttoemptyatumblerateverytoast，heshouldproposethatthehonoursbeunderstood。

Attheconclusionofthisspeech，everybodytookasipinhonourofSam。andSamhavingladledout，anddrunk，twofullglassesofpunchinhonourofhimself，returnedthanksinaneatspeech。

Werymuchobligedtoyou，oldfellers，saidSam，ladlingawayatthepunchinthemostunembarrassedmannerpossible，forthisherecompliment。

which，comin’fromsichaquarter，isweryovervelmin’。I’veheerdagooddealonyouasabody，butIwillsay，thatIneverthoughtyouwassichuncommonnicemenasIfindyouair。Ionlyhopeyou’lltakecareo’yourselves，andnotcompromisenothin’o’yourdignity，whichisawerycharmin’thingtosee，whenone’soutawalkin’，andhasalwaysmademeweryhappytolookat，eversinceIwasaboyabouthalfashighasthebrass-headedsticko’myweryrespectablefriend，Blazes，there。Astothewictimofoppressioninthesuito’brimstone，allIcansayofhim，is，thatIhopehe’llgetjistasgoodaberthashedeserves：invichcaseit’swerylittlecoldswarryaseverhe’llbetroubledwithagin。

HereSamsatdownwithapleasantsmile，andhisspeechhavingbeenvociferouslyapplauded，thecompanybrokeupWhy，youdon’tmeantosayyou’reagoin’，oldfeller？saidSamWellertohisfriendMr。JohnSmauker。

Imustindeed，saidMr。Smauker。IpromisedBantam。

Oh，werywell，saidSam。that’sanotherthing。P’rapshe’dresignifyoudisappintedhim。Youain’tagoin’，Blazes？

Yes，Iam，saidthemanwiththecockedhat。

Wot，andleavethreequartersofabowlofpunchbehindyou！saidSam。nonsense，setdownagin。

Mr。Tucklewasnotproofagainstthisinvitation。Helaidasidethecockedhatandstickwhichhehadjusttakenup，andsaidhewouldhaveoneglass，forgoodfellowship’ssake。

AsthegentlemaninbluewenthomethesamewayasMr。Tuckle，hewasprevailedupontostoptoo。Whenthepunchwasabouthalfgone，Samorderedinsomeoystersfromthegreengrocer’sshop。andtheeffectofbothwassoextremelyexhilarating，thatMr。Tuckle，dressedoutwiththecockedhatandstick，dancedthefroghornpipeamongtheshellsonthetable：

whilethegentlemaninblueplayedanaccompanimentuponaningeniousmusicalinstrumentformedofahaircombandacurl-paper。Atlast，whenthepunchwasallgone，andthenightnearlyso，theysalliedforthtoseeeachotherhome。Mr。Tucklenosoonergotintotheopenair，thanhewasseizedwithasuddendesiretolieonthecurbstone。Samthoughtitwouldbeapitytocontradicthim，andsolethimhavehisownway。Asthecockedhatwouldhavebeenspoiltifleftthere，Samveryconsideratelyflatteneditdownontheheadofthegentlemaninblue，andputtingthebigstickinhishand，proppedhimupagainsthisownstreet-door，rangthebell，andwalkedquietlyhome。

Atamuchearlierhournextmorningthanhisusualtimeofrising，Mr。

Pickwickwalkeddown-stairscompletelydressed，andrangthebell。

Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，whenMr。Wellerappearedinreplytothesummons，shutthedoor。

Mr。Wellerdidso。

Therewasanunfortunateoccurrencehere，lastnight，Sam，saidMr。

Pickwick，whichgaveMr。WinklesomecausetoapprehendviolencefromMr。Dowler。

SoI’veheerdfromtheoldladydown-stairs，sir，repliedSam。

AndI’msorrytosay，Sam，continuedMr。Pickwick，withamostperplexedcountenance，thatindreadofthisviolence，Mr。Winklehasgoneaway。

Goneaway！saidSam。

Leftthehouseearlythismorning，withouttheslightestpreviouscommunicationwithme，repliedMr。Pickwick。Andisgone，Iknownotwhere。

Heshouldha’stoppedandfoughtitout，sir，repliedSam，contemptuously。

Itwouldn’ttakemuchtosettlethat’ereDowler，sir。

Well，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，Imayhavemydoubtsofhisgreatbraveryanddetermination，also。Buthoweverthatmaybe，Mr。Winkleisgone。Hemustbefound，Sam。Foundandbroughtbacktome。

Ands’posehewon’tcomeback，sir？saidSam。

Hemustbemade，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。

Who’stodoit，sir？inquiredSamwithasmile。

You，repliedMr。Pickwick。

Werygood，sir。

WiththesewordsMr。Wellerlefttheroom，andimmediatelyafterwardswasheardtoshutthestreetdoor。Intwohours’timehereturnedwithasmuchcoolnessasifhehadbeendespatchedonthemostordinarymessagepossible，andbroughttheinformationthatanindividual，ineveryrespectansweringMr。Winkle’sdescription，hadgoneovertoBristolthatmorning，bythebranchcoachfromtheRoyalHotel。

Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，graspinghishand，you’reacapitalfellow。

aninvaluablefellow。Youmustfollowhim，Sam。

Cert’nly，sir，repliedMr。Weller。

Theinstantyoudiscoverhim，writetomeimmediately，Sam，saidMr。

Pickwick。Ifheattemptstorunawayfromyou，knockhimdown，orlockhimup。Youhavemyfullauthority，Sam。

I’llbewerycareful，sir，rejoinedSam。

You’lltellhim，saidMr。Pickwick，thatIamhighlyexcited，highlydispleased，andnaturallyindignant，attheveryextraordinarycoursehehasthoughtpropertopursue。

Iwill，sir，repliedSam。

You’lltellhim，saidMr。Pickwick，thatifhedoesnotcomebacktothisveryhouse，withyou，hewillcomebackwithme，forIwillcomeandfetchhim。

I’llmentionthat’ere，sir，rejoinedSam。

Youthinkyoucanfindhim，Sam？saidMr。Pickwick，lookingearnestlyinhisface。

Oh，I’llfindhimifhe’sanyvere，rejoinedSam，withgreatconfidence。

Verywell，saidMr。Pickwick。Thenthesooneryougothebetter。

Withtheseinstructions，Mr。Pickwickplacedasumofmoneyinthehandsofhisfaithfulservitor，andorderedhimtostartforBristolimmediately，inpursuitofthefugitive。

Samputafewnecessariesinacarpetbag，andwasreadyforstarting。

Hestoppedwhenhehadgottotheendofthepassage，andwalkingquietlyback，thrusthisheadinattheparlourdoor。

Sir，whisperedSam。

Well，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。

Ifullyunderstandsmyinstructions，doI，sir？inquiredSam。

Ihopeso，saidMr。Pickwick。

It’sreg’larlyunderstoodabouttheknockin’down，isit，sir？inquiredSam。

Perfectly，repliedMr。Pickwick。Thoroughly。Dowhatyouthinknecessary。

Youhavemyorders。

Samgaveanodofintelligence，andwithdrawinghisheadfromthedoor，setforthonhispilgrimagewithalightheart。

[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter38[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXXXVIIIHOWMR。WINKLE，WHENHESTEPPEDOUTOFTHEFRYINGPAN，WALKEDGENTLYANDCOMFORTABLYINTOTHEFIRE

THEill-starredgentlemanwhohadbeentheunfortunatecauseoftheunusualnoiseanddisturbancewhichalarmedtheinhabitantsoftheRoyalCrescentinmannerandformalreadydescribed，afterpassinganightofgreatconfusionandanxiety，lefttheroofbeneathwhichhisfriendsstillslumbered，boundheknewnotwhither。TheexcellentandconsideratefeelingswhichpromptedMr。Winkletotakethisstepcanneverbetoohighlyappreciatedortoowarmlyextolled。If，reasonedMr。Winklewithhimself，ifthisDowlerattempts(asIhavenodoubthewill)tocarryintoexecutionhisthreatofpersonalviolenceagainstmyself，itwillbeincumbentonmetocallhimout。Hehasawife。thatwifeisattachedto，anddependentonhim。Heavens！IfIshouldkillhimintheblindnessofmywrath，whatwouldbemyfeelingseverafterwards！Thispainfulconsiderationoperatedsopowerfullyonthefeelingsofthehumaneyoungman，astocausehiskneestoknocktogether，andhiscountenancetoexhibitalarmingmanifestationsofinwardemotion。Impelledbysuchreflections，hegraspedhiscarpet-bag，andcreepingstealthilydown-stairs，shutthedetestablestreet-doorwithaslittlenoiseaspossible，andwalkedoff。BendinghisstepstowardstheRoyalHotel，hefoundacoachonthepointofstartingforBristol，and，thinkingBristolasgoodaplaceforhispurposeasanyotherhecouldgoto，hemountedthebox，andreachedhisplaceofdestinationinsuchtimeasthepairofhorses，whowentthewholestageandbackagaintwiceadayormore，couldbereasonablysupposedtoarrivethere。

HetookuphisquartersatTheBush，and，designingtopostponeanycommunicationbyletterwithMr。PickwickuntilitwasprobablethatMr。

Dowler’swrathmighthaveinsomedegreeevaporated，walkedforthtoviewthecity，whichstruckhimasbeingashademoredirtythananyplacehehadeverseen。Havinginspectedthedocksandshipping，andviewedthecathedral，heinquiredhiswaytoClifton，andbeingdirectedthither，tooktheroutewhichwaspointedouttohim。But，asthepavementsofBristolarenotthewidestorcleanestuponearth，soitsstreetsarenotaltogetherthestraightestorleastintricate。Mr。Winklebeinggreatlypuzzledbytheirmanifoldwindingsandtwistings，lookedabouthimforadecentshopinwhichhecouldapplyafresh，forcounselandinstruction。

Hiseyefelluponanewly-paintedtenementwhichhadbeenrecentlyconvertedintosomethingbetweenashopandaprivate-house，andwhicharedlamp，projectingoverthefan-lightofthestreet-door，wouldhavesufficientlyannouncedastheresidenceofamedicalpractitioner，evenifthewordSurgeryhadnotbeeninscribedingoldencharactersonawainscotground，abovethewindowofwhat，intimesbygone，hadbeenthefrontparlour。

Thinkingthisaneligibleplacewhereintomakehisinquiries，Mr。Winklesteppedintothelittleshopwherethegilt-labelleddrawersandbottleswere。andfindingnobodythere，knockedwithahalf-crownonthecounter，toattracttheattentionofanybodywhomighthappentobeinthebackparlour，whichhejudgedtobetheinnermostandpeculiarsanctumoftheestablishment，fromtherepetitionofthewordsurgeryonthedoor——paintedinwhitelettersthistime，bywayoftakingoffthemonotony。

Atthefirstknock，asound，asofpersonsfencingwithfire-irons，whichhaduntilnowbeenveryaudible，suddenlyceased。atthesecond，astudious-lookingyounggentlemaningreenspectacles，withaverylargebookinhishand，glidedquietlyintotheshop，andsteppingbehindthecounter，requestedtoknowthevisitor’spleasure。

Iamsorrytotroubleyou，sir，saidMr。Winkle，butwillyouhavethegoodnesstodirectmeto——

Ha！ha！ha！roaredthestudiousyounggentleman，throwingthelargebookupintotheair，andcatchingitwithgreatdexterityattheverymomentwhenitthreatenedtosmashtoatomsallthebottlesonthecounter。

Here’sastart！

Therewas，withoutdoubt。forMr。Winklewassoverymuchastonishedattheextraordinarybehaviourofthemedicalgentleman，thatheinvoluntarilyretreatedtowardsthedoor，andlookedverymuchdisturbedathisstrangereception。

What，don’tyouknowme？saidthemedicalgentleman。

Mr。Winklemurmured，inreply，thathehadnotthatpleasure。

Why，then，saidthemedicalgentleman，therearehopesformeyet。

ImayattendhalftheoldwomeninBristolifI’vedecentluck。Getout，youmouldyoldvillain，getout！Withthisadjuration，whichwasaddressedtothelargebook，themedicalgentlemankickedthevolumewithremarkableagilitytothefurtherendoftheshop，and，pullingoffhisgreenspectacles，grinnedtheidenticalgrinofRobertSawyer，Esquire，formerlyofGuy’sHospitalintheBorough，withaprivateresidenceinLantStreet。

Youdon’tmeantosayyouweren’tdownuponme！saidMr。BobSawyer，shakingMr。Winkle’shandwithfriendlywarmth。

UponmywordIwasnot，repliedMr。Winkle，returningthepressure。

Iwonderyoudidn’tseethename，saidBobSawyer，callinghisfriend’sattentiontotheouterdoor，onwhich，inthesamewhitepaint，weretracedthewordsSawyer，lateNockemorf。

Itnevercaughtmyeye，returnedMr。Winkle。

Lord，ifIhadknownwhoyouwere，Ishouldhaverushedout，andcaughtyouinmyarms，saidBobSawyer。butuponmylife，IthoughtyouweretheKing’s-taxes。

No！saidMr。Winkle。

Idid，indeed，respondedBobSawyer，andIwasjustgoingtosaythatIwasn’tathome，butifyou’dleaveamessageI’dbesuretogiveittomyself。forhedon’tknowme。nomoredoestheLightingandPaving。

IthinktheChurch-ratesguesseswhoIam，andIknowtheWaterworksdoes，becauseIdrewatoothofhiswhenIfirstcamedownhere。Butcomein，comein！Chatteringinthisway，Mr。BobSawyerpushedMr。Winkleintothebackroom，where，amusinghimselfbyboringlittlecircularcavernsinthechimney-piecewithared-hotpoker，satnolessapersonthanMr。

BenjaminAllen。

Well！saidMr。Winkle。ThisisindeedapleasureIdidnotexpect。

Whataveryniceplaceyouhavehere！

Prettywell，prettywell，repliedBobSawyer。Ipassed，soonafterthatpreciousparty，andmyfriendscamedownwiththeneedfulforthisbusiness。soIputonablacksuitofclothes，andapairofspectacles，andcameheretolookassolemnasIcould。

Andaverysnuglittlebusinessyouhave，nodoubt？saidMr。Winkle，knowingly。

Very，repliedBobSawyer。Sosnug，thatattheendofafewyearsyoumightputalltheprofitsinawineglass，andcover’emoverwithagooseberryleaf。

Youcannotsurelymeanthat？saidMr。Winkle。Thestockitself——

Dummies，mydearboy，saidBobSawyer。halfthedrawershavenothingin’em，andtheotherhalfdon’topen。

Nonsense！saidMr。Winkle。

Fact——honour！returnedBobSawyer，steppingoutintotheshop，anddemonstratingtheveracityoftheassertionbydivershardpullsatthelittlegiltknobsonthecounterfeitdrawers。Hardlyanythingrealintheshopbuttheleeches，andtheyaresecond-hand。

Ishouldn’thavethoughtit！exclaimedMr。Winkle，muchsurprised。

Ihopenot，repliedBobSawyer，elsewhere’stheuseofappearances，eh？Butwhatwillyoutake？Doaswedo？That’sright。Ben，myfinefellow，putyourhandintothecupboard，andbringoutthepatentdigester。

Mr。BenjaminAllensmiledhisreadiness，andproducedfromtheclosetathiselbowablackbottlehalffullofbrandy。

Youdon’ttakewater，ofcourse？saidBobSawyer。

Thankyou，repliedMr。Winkle。It’sratherearly。Ishouldliketoqualifyit，ifyouhavenoobjection。

Noneintheleast，ifyoucanreconcileittoyourconscience，repliedBobSawyer。tossingoff，ashespoke，aglassoftheliquorwithgreatrelish。Ben，thepipkin！

Mr。BenjaminAllendrewforth，fromthesamehiding-place，asmallbrasspipkin，whichBobSawyerobservedhepridedhimselfupon，particularlybecauseitlookedsobusiness-like。Thewaterintheprofessionalpipkinhavingbeenmadetoboil，incourseoftime，byvariouslittleshovelsfullofcoal，whichMr。BobSawyertookoutofapracticablewindow-seat，labelledSodaWater，Mr。Winkleadulteratedhisbrandy。andtheconversationwasbecominggeneral，whenitwasinterruptedbytheentranceintotheshopofaboy，inasobergreyliveryandagold-lacedhat，withasmallcoveredbasketunderhisarm：whomMr。BobSawyerimmediatelyhailedwith，Tom，youvagabond，comehere。

Theboypresentedhimselfaccordingly。

You’vebeenstoppingtooverallthepostsinBristol，youidleyoungscamp！saidMr。BobSawyer。

No，sir，Ihaven’t，repliedtheboy。

Youhadbetternot！saidMr。BobSawyer，withathreateningaspect。

Whodoyousupposewilleveremployaprofessionalman，whentheyseehisboyplayingatmarblesinthegutter，orflyingthegarterinthehorse-road？

Haveyounofeelingforyourprofession，yougroveller？Didyouleaveallthemedicine？

Yes，sir。

Thepowdersforthechild，atthelargehousewiththenewfamily，andthepillstobetakenfourtimesadayattheill-temperedoldgentleman’swiththegoutyleg？

Yes，sir。

Thenshutthedoor，andmindtheshop。

Come，saidMr。Winkle，astheboyretired，thingsarenotquitesobadasyouwouldhavemebelieve，either。Thereissomemedicinetobesentout。

Mr。BobSawyerpeepedintotheshoptoseethatnostrangerwaswithinhearing，andleaningforwardtoMr。Winkle，said，inalowtone：

Heleavesitallatthewronghouses。

Mr。Winklelookedperplexed，andBobSawyerandhisfriendlaughed。

Don’tyousee？saidBob。Hegoesuptoahouse，ringstheareabell，pokesapacketofmedicinewithoutadirectionintotheservant’shand，andwalksoff。Servanttakesitintothedining-parlour。masteropensit，andreadsthelabel：`Draughttobetakenatbed-time——pillsasbefore——lotionasusual——thepowder。FromSawyer’s，lateNockemorf’s。Physicians’

prescriptionscarefullyprepared，’andalltherestofit。Showsittohiswife——shereadsthelabel。itgoesdowntotheservants——theyreadthelabel。Nextday，boycalls：`Verysorry——hismistake——immensebusiness——greatmanyparcelstodeliver——Mr。Sawyer’scompliments——lateNockemorf。’Thenamegetsknown，andthat’sthething，myboy，inthemedicalway。Blessyourheart，oldfellow，it’sbetterthanalltheadvertisingintheworld。Wehavegotonefour-ouncebottlethat’sbeentohalfthehousesinBristol，andhasn’tdoneyet。

Dearme，Isee，observedMr。Winkle。whatanexcellentplan！

On，BenandIhavehituponadozensuch，repliedBobSawyer，withgreatglee。Thelamplighterhaseighteen-penceaweektopullthenight-bellfortenminuteseverytimehecomesround。andmyboyalwaysrushesintochurch，justbeforethepsalms，whenthepeoplehavegotnothingtodobutlookabout’em，andcallsmeout，withhorroranddismaydepictedonhiscountenance。`Blessmysoul，’everybodysays，`somebodytakensuddenlyill！Sawyer，lateNockemorf，sentfor。Whatabusinessthatyoungmanhas！

Attheterminationofthisdisclosureofsomeofthemysteriesofmedicine，Mr。BobSawyerandhisfriend，BenAllen，threwthemselvesbackintheirrespectivechairs，andlaughedboisterously。Whentheyhadenjoyedthejoketotheirhearts’content，thediscoursechangedtotopicsinwhichMr。Winklewasmoreimmediatelyinterested。

Wethinkwehavehintedelsewhere，thatMr。BenjaminAllenhadawayofbecomingsentimentalafterbrandy。Thecaseisnotapeculiarone，asweourselfcantestify：having，onafewoccasions，hadtodealwithpatientswhohavebeenafflictedinasimilarmanner。Atthispreciseperiodofhisexistence，Mr。BenjaminAllenhadperhapsagreaterpredispositiontomaudlinismthanhehadeverknownbefore。thecauseofwhichmaladywasbrieflythis。HehadbeenstayingnearlythreeweekswithMr。BobSawyer。

Mr。BobSawyerwasnotremarkablefortemperance，norwasMr。BenjaminAllenfortheownershipofaverystronghead。theconsequencewas，that，duringthewholespaceoftimejustmentioned，Mr。BenjaminAllenhadbeenwaveringbetweenintoxicationpartial，andintoxicationcomplete。

Mydearfriend，saidMr。BenAllen，takingadvantageofMr。BobSawyer’stemporaryabsencebehindthecounter，whitherhehadretiredtodispensesomeofthesecond-handleeches，previouslyreferredto：mydearfriend，Iamverymiserable。

Mr。Winkleprofessedhisheartfeltregrettohearit，andbeggedtoknowwhetherhecouldnoanythingtoalleviatethesorrowsofthesufferingstudent。

Nothing，mydearboy，nothing，saidBen。YourecollectArabella，Winkle？MysisterArabella——alittlegirl，Winkle，withblackeyes——whenweweredownatWardle’s？Idon’tknowwhetheryouhappenedtonoticeher，anicelittlegirl，Winkle。Perhapsmyfeaturesmayrecallhercountenancetoyourrecollection？

Mr。WinklerequirednothingtorecallthecharmingArabellatohismind。

anditwasratherfortunatehedidnot，forthefeaturesofherbrotherBenjaminwouldunquestionablyhaveprovedbutanindifferentrefreshertohismemory。Heanswered，withasmuchcalmnessashecouldassume，thatheperfectlyrememberedtheyoungladyreferredto，andsincerelytrustedshewasingoodhealth。

OurfriendBobisadelightfulfellow，Winkle，wastheonlyreplyofMr。BenAllen。

Very，saidMr。Winkle。notmuchrelishingthiscloseconnexionofthetwonames。

Idesigned’emforeachother。theyweremadeforeachother，sentintotheworldforeachother，bornforeachother，Winkle，saidMr。BenAllen，settingdownhisglasswithemphasis。There’saspecialdestinyinthematter，mydearsir。there’sonlyfiveyears’differencebetween’em，andboththeirbirthdaysareinAugust。

Mr。Winklewastooanxioustohearwhatwastofollow，toexpressmuchwondermentatthisextraordinarycoincidence，marvellousasitwas。soMr。BenAllen，afteratearortwo，wentontosay，that，notwithstandingallhisesteemandrespectandvenerationforhisfriend，Arabellahadunaccountablyandundutifullyevincedthemostdeterminedantipathytohisperson。

AndIthink，saidMr。BenAllen，inconclusion。Ithinkthere’sapriorattachment。

Haveyouanyideawhotheobjectofitmightbe？askedMr。Winkle，withgreattrepidation。

Mr。BenAllenseizedthepoker，flourisheditinawarlikemannerabovehishead，inflictedasavageblowonanimaginaryskull，andwoundupbysaying，inaveryexpressivemanner，thatheonlywishedhecouldguess。

thatwasall。

I’dshowhimwhatIthoughtofhim，saidMr。BenAllen。Androundwentthepokeragain，morefiercelythanbefore。

Allthiswas，ofcourse，verysoothingtothefeelingsofMr。Winkle，whoremainedsilentforafewminutes。butatlengthmusteredupresolutiontoinquirewhetherMissAllenwasinKent。

No，no，saidMr。BenAllen，layingasidethepoker，andlookingverycunning。Ididn’tthinkWardle’sexactlytheplaceforaheadstronggirl。

so，asIamhernaturalprotectorandguardian，ourparentsbeingdead，Ihavebroughtherdownintothispartofthecountrytospendafewmonthsatanoldaunt’s，inanicedullcloseplace。Ithinkthatwillcureher，myboy。Ifitdoesn’t，I’lltakeherabroadforalittlewhile，andseewhatthat’lldo。

Oh，theaunt’sisinBristol，isit？falteredMr。Winkle。

No，no，notinBristol，repliedMr。BenAllen，jerkinghisthumboverhisrightshoulder：overthatway。downthere。But，hush，here’sBob。

Notaword，mydearfriend，notaword。

Shortasthisconversationwas，itrousedinMr。Winklethehighestdegreeofexcitementandanxiety。Thesuspectedpriorattachmentrankledinhisheart。Couldhebetheobjectofit？CoulditbeforhimthatthefairArabellahadlookedscornfullyonthesprightlyBobSawyer，orhadheasuccessfulrival？Hedeterminedtoseeher，costwhatitmight。buthereaninsurmountableobjectionpresenteditself，forwhethertheexplanatoryoverthatway，anddownthere，ofMr。BenAllen，meantthreemilesoff，orthirty，orthreehundred，hecouldinnowiseguess。

Buthehadnoopportunityofponderingoverhislovejustthen，forBobSawyer’sreturnwastheimmediateprecursorofthearrivalofameatpiefromthebaker’s，ofwhichthatgentlemaninsistedonhisstayingtopartake。Theclothwaslaidbyanoccasionalcharwoman，whoofficiatedinthecapacityofMr。BobSawyer’shousekeeper。andathirdknifeandforkhavingbeenborrowedfromthemotheroftheboyinthegreylivery(forMr。Sawyer’sdomesticarrangementswereasyetconductedonalimitedscale)，theysatdowntodinner。thebeerbeingservedup，asMr。Sawyerremarked，init’snativepewter。

Afterdinner，Mr。BobSawyerorderedinthelargestmortarintheshop，andproceededtobrewareekingjorumofrum-punchtherein。stirringupandamalgamatingthematerialswithapestleinaverycreditableandapothecary-likemanner。Mr。Sawyer，beingabachelor，hadonlyonetumblerinthehouse，whichwasassignedtoMr。Winkleasacomplimenttothevisitor：Mr。BenAllenbeingaccommodatedwithafunnelwithacorkinthenarrowend：andBobSawyercontentedhimselfwithoneofthosewide-lippedcrystalvesselsinscribedwithavarietyofcabalisticcharacters，inwhichchemistsarewonttomeasureouttheirliquiddrugsincompoundingprescriptions。Thesepreliminariesadjusted，thepunchwastasted，andpronouncedexcellent。

andithavingbeenarrangedthatBobSawyerandBenAllenshouldbeconsideredatlibertytofilltwicetoMr。Winkle’sonce，theystartedfair，withgreatsatisfactionandgood-fellowship。

Therewasnosinging，becauseMr。BobSawyersaiditwouldn’tlookprofessional。

buttomakeamendsforthisdeprivationtherewassomuchtalkingandlaughingthatitmighthavebeenheard，andverylikelywas，attheendofthestreet。

WhichconversationmateriallylightenedthehoursandimprovedthemindofMr。BobSawyer’sboy，who，insteadofdevotingtheeveningtohisordinaryoccupationofwritinghisnameonthecounter，andrubbingitoutagain，peepedthroughtheglassdoor，andthuslistenedandlookedonatthesametime。

ThemirthofMr。BobSawyerwasrapidlyripeningintothefurious。Mr。

BenAllenwasfastrelapsingintothesentimental，andthepunchhadwell-nighdisappearedaltogether，whentheboyhastilyrunningin，announcedthatayoungwomanhadjustcomeover，tosaythatSawyerlateNockemorfwaswanteddirectly，acoupleofstreetsoff。Thisbrokeuptheparty。Mr。

BobSawyer，understandingthemessage，aftersometwentyrepetitions，tiedawetclothroundhisheadtosoberhimself，and，havingpartiallysucceeded，putonhisgreenspectaclesandissuedforth。Resistingallentreatiestostaytillhecameback，andfindingitquiteimpossibletoengageMr。

BenAlleninanyintelligibleconversationonthesubjectnearesthisheart，orindeedonanyother，Mr。Winkletookhisdeparture，andreturnedtotheBush。

Theanxietyofhismind，andthenumerousmeditationswhichArabellahadawakened，preventedhisshareofthemortarofpunchproducingthateffectuponhimwhichitwouldhavehad，underothercircumstances。So，aftertakingaglassofsoda-waterandbrandyatthebar，heturnedintothecoffee-room，dispiritedratherthanelevatedbytheoccurrencesoftheevening。

Sittinginthefrontofthefire，withhisbacktowardshim，wasatallishgentlemaninagreat-coat：theonlyotheroccupantoftheroom。Itwasratheracooleveningfortheseasonoftheyear，andthegentlemandrewhischairasidetoaffordthenew-comerasightofthefire。WhatwereMr。Winkle’sfeelingswhen，indoingso，hedisclosedtoviewthefaceandfigureofthevindictiveandsanguinaryDowler！

Mr。Winkle’sfirstimpulsewastogiveaviolentpullatthenearestbell-handle，butthatunfortunatelyhappenedtobeimmediatelybehindMr。

Dowler’shead。Hehadmadeonesteptowardsit，beforehecheckedhimself。

Ashedidso，Mr。Dowlerveryhastilydrewback。

Mr。Winkle，sir。Becalm。Don’tstrikeme。Iwon’tbearit。Ablow！

Never！saidMr。Dowler，lookingmeekerthanMr。Winklehadexpectedinagentlemanofhisferocity。

Ablow，sir？stammeredMr。Winkle。

Ablow，sir，repliedDowler。Composeyourfeelings。Sitdown。Hearme。

Sir，saidMr。Winkle，tremblingfromheadtofoot，beforeIconsenttositdownbeside，oroppositeyou，withoutthepresenceofawaiter，Imustbesecuredbysomefurtherunderstanding。Youusedathreatagainstmelastnight，sir，adreadfulthreat，sir。HereMr。Winkleturnedverypaleindeed，andstoppedshort。

Idid，saidDowler，withacountenancealmostaswhiteasMr。Winkle’s。

Circumstancesweresuspicious。Theyhavebeenexplained。Irespectyourbravery。Yourfeelingisupright。Consciousinnocence。There’smyhand。

Graspit。