第28章

Samrefreshedhimselfwithakiss，andreadasfollows：

MarkisGranBydorkenWensdy。

MydearSammle，IamwerysorrytohavethepleasureofbeinaBearofillnewsyourMotherinlawcortcoldconsekensofimprudentlysettintoolongonthedampgrassintherainahearinofashepherdwhowarntabletoleaveofftilllateatnightowentohishavinvoundhis-selfupvithbrandyandvaterandnotbeingabletostophisselftillhegotalittlesoberwhichtookamanyhourstodothedoctorsaysthatifshe’dsvallo’dvarmbrandyandvaterartervardsinstedofaforeshemightn’thavebeennovusherveelswosimmedetlygreasedandeverythinkdonetosetheragoinascouldbeinwentedyourfartherhadhopesasshevouldhavevorkedroundasusualbutjustasshewosaturnenthecornermyboyshetookthewrongroadandventdownhillvithawelocityyouneverseeandnotvithstandingthatthedragwosputondrectlybythemedikelmanitworntofnouseatallforshepaidthelastpikeattwentyminutesaforesixo’clockyesterdayeveninhavindonethejouneywerymuchunderthereglartimevichprapswaspartlyowentoherhavetakeninwerylittleluggagebythevayyourfathersaysthatifyouvillcomeandseemeSammyhevilltakeitasawerygreatfavorforIamwerylonelySamivelnbhevillhaveitspeltthatvayvichIsayantrightandasthereissichamanythingstosettleheissureyourguvnerwontobjectofcoursehevillnotSammyforIknowshimbettersohesendshisdootyinwhichIjoinandamSamivelinfernallyyoursTONYVELLER。

Wotaincomprehensibleletter，saidSam。who’stoknowwotitmeans，vithallthishe-ingandI-ing！Itain’tmyfather’swritin’，’ceptthisheresignaterinprintletters。that’shis。

Perhapshegotsomebodytowriteitforhim，andsignedithimselfafterwards，saidtheprettyhousemaid。

Stopaminit，repliedSam，runningovertheletteragain，andpausinghereandthere，toreflect，ashedidso。You’vehitit。Thegen’l’m’naswroteitwosatellin’allaboutthemisfortun’inapropervay，andthenmyfathercomesalookin’overhim，andcomplicatesthewholeconcernbyputtin’hisoarin。That’sjustthewerysorto’thinghe’ddo。You’reright，Mary，mydear。

Havingsatisfiedhimselfonthispoint，Samreadtheletterallover，oncemore，and，appearingtoformaclearnotionofitscontentsforthefirsttime，ejaculatedthoughtfully，ashefoldeditup：

Andsothepoorcreatur’sdead！I’msorryforit。Shewarn’tabad-disposed’ooman，ifthemshepherdshadletheralone。I’mwerysorryforit。

Mr。Wellerutteredthesewordsinsoseriousamanner，thattheprettyhousemaidcastdownhereyesandlookedverygrave。

Hows’ever，saidSam，puttingtheletterinhispocketwithagentlesigh，itwostobe——andwos，astheoldladysaidartershe’dmarriedthefootman。Can’tbehelpednow，canit，Mary？

Maryshookherhead，andsighedtoo。

Imustapplytothehemperorforleaveofabsence，saidSam。

Marysighedagain。Theletterwassoveryaffecting。

Goodbye！saidSam。

Goodbye，rejoinedtheprettyhousemaid，turningherheadaway。

Well，shakehands，won’tyou？saidSam。

Theprettyhousemaidputoutahandwhich，althoughitwasahousemaid’s，wasaverysmallone，androsetogo。

Ishan’tbewerylongavay，saidSam。

You’realwaysaway，saidMary，givingherheadtheslightestpossibletossintheair。Younosoonercome，Mr。Weller，thanyougoagain。

Mr。Wellerdrewthehouseholdbeautyclosertohim，andentereduponawhisperingconversation，whichhadnotproceededfar，whensheturnedherfaceroundandcondescendedtolookathimagain。Whentheyparted，itwassomehoworotherindispensablynecessaryforhertogotoherroom，andarrangethecapandcurlsbeforeshecouldthinkofpresentingherselftothemistress。whichpreparatoryceremonyshewentofftoperform，bestowingmanynodsandsmilesonSamoverthebanistersasshetrippedup-stairs。

Ishan’tbeavaymorethanaday，ortwo，sir，atthefarthest，saidSam，whenhehadcommunicatedtoMr。Pickwicktheintelligenceofhisfather’sloss。

Aslongasmaybenecessary，Sam，repliedMr。Pickwick，youhavemyfullpermissiontoremain。

Sambowed。

Youwilltellyourfather，Sam，thatifIcanbeofanyassistancetohiminhispresentsituation，Ishallbemostwillingandreadytolendhimanyaidinmypower，saidMr。Pickwick。

Thank’ee，sir，rejoinedSam。I’llmentionit，sir。

Andwithsomeexpressionsofmutualgood-willandinterest，masterandmanseparated。

Itwasjustseveno’clockwhenSamuelWeller，alightingfromtheboxofastage-coachwhichpassedthroughDorking，stoodwithinafewhundredyardsoftheMarquisofGranby。Itwasacolddullevening。thelittlestreetlookeddrearyanddismal。andthemahoganycountenanceofthenobleandgallantMarquisseemedtowearamoresadandmelancholyexpressionthanitwaswonttodo，asitswungtoandfro，creakingmournfullyinthewind。Theblindswerepulleddown，andtheshutterspartlyclosed。

oftheknotofloungersthatusuallycollectedaboutthedoor，notonewastobeseen。theplacewassilentanddesolate。

Seeingnobodyofwhomhecouldaskanypreliminaryquestions，Samwalkedsoftlyin。Glancinground，hequicklyrecognisedhisparentinthedistance。

Thewidowerwasseatedatasmallroundtableinthelittleroombehindthebar，smokingapipe，withhiseyesintentlyfixeduponthefire。Thefuneralhadevidentlytakenplacethatday。forattachedtohishat，whichhestillretainedonhishead，wasahatbandmeasuringaboutayardandahalfinlength，whichhungoverthetoprailofthechairandstreamednegligentlydown。Mr。Wellerwasinaveryabstractedandcontemplativemood。NotwithstandingthatSamcalledhimbynameseveraltimes，hestillcontinuedtosmokewiththesamefixedandquietcountenance，andwasonlyrousedultimatelybyhisson’splacingthepalmofhishandonhisshoulder。

Sammy，saidMr。Weller，you’rewelcome。

I’vebeenacallin’toyouhalfadozentimes，saidSam，hanginghishatonapeg，butyoudidn’thearme，

No，Sammy，repliedMr。Weller，againlookingthoughtfullyatthefire。

Iwosinareferee，Sammy。

Wotabout？inquiredSam，drawinghischairuptothefire。

Inareferee，Sammy，repliedtheelderMr。Weller，regardingher，Samivel。HereMr。WellerjerkedhisheadinthedirectionofDorkingchurchyard，inmuteexplanationthathiswordsreferredtothelateMrs。Weller。

Iwosathinkin’，Sammy，saidMr。Weller，eyeinghisson，withgreatearnestness，overhispipe。asiftoassurehimthathoweverextraordinaryandincrediblethedeclarationmightappear，itwasneverthelesscalmlyanddeliberatelyuttered。Iwosathinkin’，Sammy，thatuponthewholeIwoswerysorryshewosgone。

Vell，andsoyououghttobe，repliedSam。

Mr。Wellernoddedhisacquiescenceinthesentiment，andagainfasteninghiseyesonthefire，shroudedhimselfinacloud，andmuseddeeply。

Thosewoswerysensibleobservationsasshemade，Sammy，saidMr。

Weller，drivingthesmokeawaywithhishand，afteralongsilence。

Wotobservations？inquiredSam。

Themasshemade，artershewastookill，repliedtheoldgentleman。

Wotwasthey？

Somethin’tothishereeffect。`Veller，’shesays，`I’mafeardI’venotdonebyyouquitewotIoughttohavedone。you’reawerykind-heartedman，andImightha’madeyourhomemorecomfortabler。Ibegintoseenow，’

shesays，`venit’stoolate，thatifamarried’oomanvishestobereligious，sheshouldbeginvithdischargin’herdootiesathome，andmakin’themasisabouthercheerfulandhappy，andthatvileshegoestochurch，orchapel，orwotnot，atallpropertimes，sheshouldbewerycarefulnottocon-wertthissorto’thingintoaexcuseforidlenessorself-indulgence。

Ihavedonethis，’shesays，`andI’vevastedtimeandsubstanceonthemashasdoneitmorethanme。butIhopevenI’mgone，Veller，thatyou’llthinkonmeasIwosaforeIknow’dthempeople，andasIralywosbynatur’。’`Susan，’saysI，——Iwostookupweryshortbythis，Samivel。

Ivon’tdenyit，myboy——`Susan，’Isays，`you’vebeenawerygoodvifetome，altogether。don’tsaynothin’atallaboutit。keepagoodheart，mydear。andyou’lllivetoseemepunchthat’ereStiggins’sheadyet。’

Shesmiledatthis，Samivel，saidtheoldgentleman，stiflingasighwithhispipe，butshediedarterall！

Vell，saidSam，venturingtoofferalittlehomelyconsolation，afterthelapseofthreeorfourminutes，consumedbytheoldgentlemaninslowlyshakinghisheadfromsidetoside，andsolemnlysmoking。vell，gov’ner，vemustallcometoit，onedayoranother。

Sowemust，Sammy，saidMr。Wellertheelder。

There’saProvidenceinitall，saidSam。

O’coursethereis，repliedhisfatherwithanodofgraveapproval。

Wot’udbecomeoftheundertakersvithoutit，Sammy？

Lostintheimmensefieldofconjectureopenedbythisreflection，theelderMr。Wellerlaidhispipeonthetable，andstirredthefirewithameditativevisage。

Whiletheoldgentlemanwasthusengaged，averybuxom-lookingcook，dressedinmourning，whohadbeenbustlingabout，inthebar，glidedintotheroom，andbestowingmanysmirksofrecognitionuponSam，silentlystationedherselfatthebackofhisfather’schair，andannouncedherpresencebyaslightcough：thewhich，beingdisregarded，wasfollowedbyalouderone。

Hallo！saidtheelderMr。Weller，droppingthepokerashelookedround，andhastilydrewhischairaway。Wot’sthematternow？

Haveacupoftea，there’sagoodsoul，repliedthebuxomfemale，coaxingly。

Ivon’t，repliedMr。Weller，inasomewhatboisterousmanner，I’llseeyou——Mr。Wellerhastilycheckedhimself，andaddedinalowtone，furderfust。

Oh，dear，dear！Howadversitydoeschangepeople！saidthelady，lookingupwards。

It’stheonlythink’twixtthisandthedoctorasshallchangemycondition，mutteredMr。Weller。

Ireallyneversawamansocross，saidthebuxomfemale。

Nevermind。It’sallformyowngood。vichisthereflectionvithwichthepenitentschoolboycomfortedhisfellin’sventheyfloggedhim，rejoinedtheoldgentleman。

Thebuxomfemaleshookherheadwithacompassionateandsympathisingair。and，appealingtoSam，inquiredwhetherhisfatherreallyoughtnottomakeanefforttokeepup，andnotgivewaytothatlownessofspirits。

Yousee，Mr。Samuel，saidthebuxomfemale，asIwastellinghimyesterday，hewillfeellonely，hecan’texpectbutwhatheshould，sir，butheshouldkeepupagoodheart，because，dearme，I’msureweallpityhisloss，andarereadytodoanythingforhim。andthere’snosituationinlifesobad，Mr。Samuel，thatitcan’tbemended。Whichiswhataveryworthypersonsaidtomewhenmyhusbanddied。Herethespeaker，puttingherhandbeforehermouth，coughedagain，andlookedaffectionatelyattheelderMr。Weller。

AsIdon’trekvireanyo’yourconversationjustnow，mum，villyouhavethegoodnesstore-tire？inquiredMr。Wellerinagraveandsteadyvoice。

Well，Mr。Weller，saidthebuxomfemale，I’msureIonlyspoketoyououtofkindness。

Werylikely，mum，repliedMr。Weller。Samivel，showtheladyout，andshutthedoorarterher。

Thishintwasnotlostuponthebuxomfemale。forsheatoncelefttheroom，andslammedthedoorbehindher，uponwhichMr。Weller，senior，fallingbackinhischairinaviolentperspiration，said：

Sammy，ifIwostostopherealonevunveek——onlyvunveek，myboy——that’ere’ooman’udmarrymebyforceandwiolenceaforeitwasover。

Wot！Isshesoweryfondonyou？inquiredSam。

Fond！repliedhisfather，Ican’tkeepheravayfromme。IfIwoslockedupinafire-proofchestvithapatentBrahmin，she’dfindmeanstogetatme，Sammy。

Wotathingitis，tobesosoughtarter！observedSam，smiling。

Idon’ttakenoprideoutonit，Sammy，repliedMr。Weller，pokingthefirevehemently，it’sahorridsitiwation。I’mactiwallydroveouto’houseandhomebyit。Thebreathwosscarcelyouto’yourpoormother-in-law’sbody，venvunold’oomansendsmeapoto’jam，andanotherapoto’jelly，andanotherbrewsablessedlargejugo’camomile-tea，vichshebringsinvithherownhands。Mr。Wellerpausedwithanaspectofintensedisgust，and，lookinground，addedinawhisper：Theywosallwidders，Sammy，allon’em，’ceptthecamomile-teavun，aswosasingleyoungladyo’fifty-three。

Samgaveacomicallookinreply，andtheoldgentlemanhavingbrokenanobstinatelumpofcoal，withacountenanceexpressiveofasmuchearnestnessandmaliceasifithadbeentheheadofoneofthewidowslast-mentioned，said：

Inshort，Sammy，IfeelthatIain’tsafeanyveresbutonthebox。

Howareyousafertherethananyvereselse？interruptedSam。

’Cosacoachman’saprivilegedindiwidual，repliedMr。Weller，lookingfixedlyathisson。’Cosacoachmanmaydovithoutsuspicionwotothermenmaynot。’cosacoachmanmaybeontheweryamicablesttermswitheightymileo’females，andyetnobodythinkthatheevermeanstomarryanyvunamong’em。Andwotothermancansaythesame，Sammy？

Vell，there’ssomethin’inthat，saidSam。

Ifyourgov’nerhadbeenacoachman，reasonedMr。Weller，doyous’poseasthat’erejury’udeverha’conwictedhim，s’posin’itpossibleasthemattercouldha’gonetothatextremity？Theydustn’tha’doneit。

Wynot？saidSam，ratherdisparagingly。

Wynot！rejoinedMr。Weller。’cosit’udha’goneagintheirconsciences。

Areg’larcoachman’sasorto’connectin’linkbetwixtsinglenessandmatrimony，andeverypracticablemanknowsit。

Wot！Youmean，they’regen’ralfav’rites，andnobodytakesadwantageon’em，p’raps？saidSam。

Hisfathernodded。

Howitevercometothat’erepass，resumedtheparentWeller，I

can’tsay。Wyitisthatlong-stagecoachmenpossesssuchinsiniwations，andisalvayslookedupto——adoredImaysay——byev’ryyoung’oomaninev’rytownhevurksthrough，Idon’tknow。Ionlyknowthatsoitis。It’sareg’lationofnatur——adispensary，asyourpoormother-in-lawusedtosay。

Adispensation，saidSam，correctingtheoldgentleman。

Werygood，Samivel，adispensation，ifyoulikeitbetter，returnedMr。Weller。Icallitadispensary，andit’salvayswritupso，attheplacesveretheygivesyouphysicfornothin’inyourownbottles。

that’sall。

Withthesewords，Mr。Wellerre-filledandre-lightedhispipe，andoncemoresummoningupameditativeexpressionofcountenance，continuedasfollows：

Therefore，myboy，asIdonotseetheadwisabilityo’stoppin’heretobemarridvetherIvanttoornot，andasatthesametimeIdonotvishtoseparatemyselffromtheminterestin’memberso’societyaltogether，Ihavecometothedeterminationo’drivin’theSafety，andputtin’upvuncemoreattheBellSavage，vichismynat’ral-bornelement，Sammy。

Andwot’stobecomeo’thebis’ness？inquiredSam。

Thebis’ness，Samivel，repliedtheoldgentleman，goodvill，stock，andfixters，villbesoldbyprivatecontract。andouto’themoney，twohundredpound，agreeabletoarekvesto’yourmother-in-law’stomealittleaforeshedied，villbeinwestedinyournamein——wotdoyoucallthemthingsagin？

Wotthings？inquiredSam。

Themthingsasisalwaysagoin’upanddown，intheCity。

Omnibuses？suggestedSam。

Nonsense，repliedMr。Weller。Themthingsasisalvaysafluctooatin’，andgettin’theirselvesinwo