下载辰思小说免费APP
"Why,Idon\'tknow,"shesaid,"Iguessso.Thedoctorsaidhecouldseesome,andhewantstoseehisfriends.That\'snotstrange——healwaysdid.I\'llask.Willyoutellmeyourname?"
Itookoutacard.Shehelditwithoutglancingatit,andinvitedmein.
Iwaited,unnervedandfeverish,pulsing,inthedarkandnarrowhallbesidetheflimsyrackwhereseveralcoatsandhatswerehung.OncebeforeIhadvisitedKrebsinthatlodging-houseinCambridgelongagowithsomethingofthesamefeelings.Butnowtheyweregreatlyintensified.Nowhewasdying
Thewomanwasdescending.
"Hesayshewantstoseeyou,sir,"shesaidratherbreathlessly,andI
followedher.Inthesemi-darknessofthestairsIpassedthethreemenwhohadbeenwithKrebs,andwhenIreachedtheopendoorofhisroomhewasalone.Ihesitatedjustasecond,sweptbytheheatwavethatfollowssuddenshyness,embarrassment,asenseoffollyitistoolatetoavert.
Krebswasproppedupwithpillows.
"Well,thisisgoodofyou,"hesaid,andreachedouthishandacrossthespread.Itookit,andsatdownbesidetheshinyoakbedstead,inachaircoveredwithtobacco-coloredplush.
"Youfeelbetter?"Iasked.
"Oh,Ifeelallright,"heanswered,withasmile."It\'squeer,butI
do."
Myeyefelluponthelonglineofsectionalbook-casesthatlinedonesideoftheroom."Why,you\'vegotquitealibraryhere,"Iobserved.
"Yes,I\'vemanagedtogettogethersomegoodbooks.Butthereissomuchtoreadnowadays,somuchthatisreallygoodandnew,amanhasthehopelessfeelinghecannevercatchupwithitall.Athousandwritersandstudentsaremakingcontributionstodaywherefiftyyearsagotherewasone."
"I\'vebeenfollowingyourspeeches,afterafashion,——IwishImighthavebeenabletoreadmoreofthem.Yourargumentinterestedme.It\'snew,unliketheordinarypropagandaof——"
"Ofagitators,"hesupplied,withasmile.
"Ofagitators,"Iagreed,andtriedtoreturnhissmile."Anagitatorwhoappearstosuggestthefoundationsofaconstructiveprogrammeandwhoisn\'tafraidtocriticisethemanwithavoteaswellasthecapitalistisanunusualphenomenon."
"Oh,whenwerealizethatwe\'veonlygotalittletimeleftinwhichtotellwhatwethinktobethetruth,itdoesn\'trequireagreatdealofcourage,Paret.Ididn\'tbegintoseethisthinguntilalittlewhileago.Iwasonlyacrude,hot-headedrevolutionist.GodknowsI\'mcrudeenoughstill.ButIbegantohaveaglimmeringofwhatallthesenewfellowsintheuniversitiesaredrivingat."Hewavedhishandtowardsthebook-cases."Drivingatcollectively,Imean.Andthereareattempts,worthyattempts,tocoordinateandsynthesizethesciences.
WhatIhavebeensayingisnotstrictlyoriginal.Itookitonthestump,that\'sall.Ididn\'texpectittohavemucheffectinthiscampaign,butitwasanopportunitytosowafewseeds,tostartasenseofpersonaldissatisfactioninthemindsofafewvoters.WhatisitBrowningsays?It\'sinBishopBlougram,Ibelieve.\'Whenthefightbeginswithinhimself,aman\'sworthsomething.\'It\'sanintellectualfight,ofcourse."
Hiswordswerespokenquietly,butIrealizedsuddenlythatthemysteriousforcewhichhaddrawnmetohimnow,againstmywill,wasanintellectualratherthanapparentlysentimentalone,anintellectualforceseemingtocomprisewithinitallotherhumanattractions.AndyetIfeltasuddencontrition.
"Seehere,Krebs,"Isaid,"Ididn\'tcomeheretobotheryouaboutthesematters,totireyou.Imustn\'tstay.I\'llcallinagaintoseehowyouare——fromtimetotime."
"Butyou\'renottiringme,"heprotested,stretchingforthathin,detaininghand."Idon\'twanttorot,IwanttoliveandthinkaslongasIcan.Totellyouthetruth,Paret,I\'vebeenwishingtotalktoyou——I\'mgladyoucamein."
"You\'vebeenwishingtotalktome?"Isaid.
"Yes,butIdidn\'texpectyou\'dcomein.Ihopeyouwon\'tmindmysayingso,underthecircumstances,butI\'vealwaysratherlikedyou,admiredyou,evenbackintheCambridgedays.AfterthatIusedtoblameyouforgoingoutandtakingwhatyouwanted,andIhadtoliveagoodmanyyearsbeforeIbegantoseethatit\'sbetterforamantotakewhathewantsthantotakenothingatall.ItookwhatIwanted,everymanworthhissaltdoes.There\'syourgreatbankerfriendinNewYorkwhomIusedtothinkwasthearch-fiend.Hetookwhathewanted,andhetookagooddeal,butithappenedtobegoodforhim.Andbypilinguphiscorporations,OssaonPelion,heispavingthewayforalogicaleconomicevolution.Howcanamaninourtimefindoutwhathedoeswantunlesshetakessomethingandgivesitatrial?"
"Untilhebeginstofeelthatitdisagreeswithhim,"Isaid."Butthen,"
Iaddedinvoluntarily,"thenitmaybetoolatetotrysomethingelse,andhemaynotknowwhattotry."Thisremarkofminemighthavesurprisedmehaditnotbeenforthefeeling——nowgrowndefinite——thatKrebshadsomethingtogiveme,somethingtopassontome,ofallmen.
Indeed,hehadhintedasmuch,whenheacknowledgedawishtotalktome.
"Whatseemssostrange,"Isaid,asIlookedathimlyingbackonhispillows,"isyourfaiththatweshallbeabletobringorderoutofallthischaos——yourbeliefinDemocracy."
"Democracy\'sanadventure,"hereplied,"thegreatadventureofmankind.
Ithinkthetroubleinmanymindsliesinthefactthattheypersistinregardingitassomethingtobemadesafe.Allthatcanbedoneistotrytomakeitassafeaspossible.Butnoadventureissafe——lifeitselfisanadventure,andneitheristhatsafe.It\'sahazard,asyoua
