下载辰思小说免费APP
hadbeenwithinitswalls!WhycouldInothavebeen,contentwithwhatitrepresented?oftradition,ofcustom,——ofreligion?Andwhatwasitwithinmethathadluredmeawayfromthese?
Iwasmiserable,indeed,butmymiserywasnotofthekindIthoughtitoughttobe.Atmoments,whenmymotherrelapsedintoweeping,Iglancedatheralmostinwonder.Suchsorrowasherswasincomprehensible.Onceshesurprisedanddiscomfitedmebyliftingherheadandgazingfixedlyatmethroughhertears.
Irecallcertainimpressionsofthefuneral.There,amongthepall-
bearers,wasmyCousinRobertBreck,tearsinthefurrowsofhischeeks.
HadhelovedmyfathermorethanI?ThesightofhisgriefmovedmesuddenlyandstronglyItseemedanagesinceIhadworkedinhisstore,andyetherehewasstill,comingtotowneverymorningandreturningeveryeveningtoClaremore,lovinghisfriends,andmourningthemonebyone.Wasthis,thespectaclepresentedbymyCousinRobert,therewardofearthlyexistence?Weretherenootherprizessavethoseknownasgreatnessofcharacteranddepthofhumanaffections?CousinRobertlookedwornandold.Theotherpall-bearers,menofweight,oflongstandinginthecommunity,wereaged,too;Mr.Blackwood,andMr.
JulesHollister;andoutofplace,somehow,inthisnewchurchbuilding.
Itcametomeabruptlythattheoldorderwasgone,——hadslippedawayduringmyabsence.ThechurchIhadknowninboyhoodhadbeentorndowntomakeroomforabusinessbuildingonBoyneStreet;theedificeinwhichIsatwasexpensive,gaveforthnodistinctivenote;seeminglytransitorywithitshybridinterior,itsshinyoakandblueandredorgan-pipes,betokeningacompromisedandweakenedfaith.Nondescript,likewise,seemedthenewminister,Mr.Randlett,asheprayedunctuouslyinfrontoftheflowersmassedontheplatform.Ivaguelyresentedhislaudatoryreferencestomyfather.
Theoldchurch,withitsseverity,hadactuallystoodforsomething.ItwastheWestminsterCatechisminwoodandstone,andDr.Poundhadbeenthehumanincarnationofthatcatechism,thefitrepresentativeofawrathfulGod,amilitantshepherdwhohadguardedwithvigilancehisrespectableflock,whohadprotestedvehementlyagainstthesinsoftheworldbywhichtheyweresurrounded,againstthe"dogs,andsorcerers,andwhoremongers,andmurderersandidolaters,andwhosoeverlovethandmakethalie."HowDr.PoundwouldhaveputtheemphasisoftheEverlastingintothosewords!
AgainstwhatwasMr.Randlettprotesting?
Myglancewanderedtothepewswhichheldthecommitteesfromvariousorganizations,suchastheChamberofCommerceandtheBarAssociation,whichhadcometodohonourtomyfather.Andthere,differentiatedfromtheothers,Isawthespruce,alertfigureofTheodoreWatling.He,too,representedanewtypeandanewnote,——thistimeaforcefulnote,asecularnotethathadnotbelongedtotheoldchurch,andseemedlikewiseanomalisticinthenew
Duringthelong,slowjourneyinthecarriagetothecemeterymymotherdidnotraiseherveil.Itwasnotuntilshereachedoutandseizedmyhand,convulsively,thatIrealizedshewasstillapartofmyexistence.
InthedaysthatfollowedIbecameawarethatmyfather\'sdeathhadremovedarestrictiveelement,thatIwasfreenowtotakewithoutcriticismoroppositionwhatevercourseinlifeImightdesire.ItmaybethatIhadapprehendedeventhenthathisprofessionalidealswouldnothavecoincidedwithmyown.Mingledwiththissenseofemancipationwasacuriousfeelingofregret,ofmourningforsomethingIhadnevervalued,somethingfixedanddependableforwhichhehadstood,arockandarefugeofwhichIhadneveravailedmyself!Whenhiswillwasopeneditwasfoundthatthepropertyhadbeenlefttomymotherduringherlifetime.ItwaslargerthanIhadthought,fourhundredthousanddollars,shrewdlyinvested,forthemostpart,incityrealestate.Myfatherhadbeenverysecretiveastomoneymatters,andmymotherhadnointerestinthem.
ThreeorfourdayslaterIreceivedinthemailatypewrittenlettersignedbyTheodoreWatling,expressingsympathyformybereavement,andaskingmetodropinonhim,downtown,beforeIshouldleavethecity.
IncontrasttothesomewhatdingyofficeswheremyfatherhadpractisedintheBlackwoodBlock,thequartersofWatling,FowndesandRiponontheeighthfloorofthenewDurrettBuildingweremoderntoadegree,finishedinoakandflooredwithmarble,witharailed-offspacewhereyoungwomenwithnimblefingersplayedceaselesslyontypewriters.OneoftheminformedmethatMr.Watlingwasbusy,butonreadingmycardaddedthatshewouldtakeitin.Meanwhile,incompanywithtwootherswhomayhavebeenclients,Iwaited.This,then,waswhatitmeanttobealawyerofimportance,tohave,likeaChesterfield,anante-roomwhereclientscooledtheirheelsandawaitedone\'spleasure
Theyoungwomanreturned,andledmethroughacorridortoadooronwhichwaspaintedMr.Wailing.
Irecallhimtiltedbackinhischairinadebonnairmannerbesidehispolisheddesk,thehintofasmileonhislips;andleaningclosetohimwasayellow,owl-likepersonwhoseeyes,astheyturnedtome,gavetheimpressionofhavingstaredforyearsintohard,artificiallights.Mr.
Watlingrosebriskly.
"Howareyou,Hugh?"hesaid,thewarmthofhisgreetingtemperedbyjustthenoteofcondolencesuitabletomyblackclothes."I\'mgladyoucame.
IwantedtoseeyoubeforeyouwentbacktoCambridge.ImustintroduceyoutoJudgeBering,ofourStateSupremeCourt.Judge,thisisMr.
Paret\'sboy."
Thejudgelookedmeoverwithacertainslowimpressiveness,andgavemeasoftandfleshyhand.
"Gladtoknowyou,Mr.Paret.Yourfatherwasagreatlosstoourbar,"
hedeclared.
Idetectedinhistoneandmanneraslightreservationthatcouldnotbecalledpreciselyjudicialdignity;itwasasthough,inthesefewwords,hehadgonetothelimitofself-commitmentwithastranger——astrikingcontrasttotheconfidentialattitudetowardsMr.WatlinginwhichIhadsurprisedhim.
"Judge,"saidMr.Watling,sittingdownagain,"doyourecallthattimeweallwentuptoMr.Paret\'shouseandtriedtoinducehimtorunformayor?Thatwasbeforeyouwentonthelowerbench."
Thejudgenoddedgloomily,caressinghiswatchchain,andsuddenlyrosetogo.
"Thatwillbeallright,then?"Mr.Watlinginquiredcryptically,withasmile.Theothermadeabarelyperceptibleinclinationoftheheadanddeparted.Mr.Watlinglookedatme."He\'soneofthebestmenwehaveonthebenchto-day,"headded.Therewasatraceofapologyinhistone.
Hetalkedawhileofmyfather,towhom,sohesaid,hehadlookedupeversincehehadbeenadmittedtothebar.
"Itwouldbeapleasuretome,Hugh,aswellasamatterofpride,"hesaidcordially,butwithdignity,"tohaveMatthewParet\'ssoninmyoffice.Isupposeyouwillbewishingtotakeyourmothersomewherethissummer,butifyoucaretocomehereintheautumn,youwillbewelcome.
Youwillbegin,ofcourse,asotheryoungmenbegin,——asIbegan.ButI
amabelieverinblood,andI\'llbegladtohaveyou.Mr.FowndesandMr.Riponfeelthesameway."Heescortedmetothedoorhimself.
EverywhereIwentduringthatbriefvisithomeIwasstruckbychange,bythecrumblinganddecayofinstitutionsthatoncehadheldmeinthrall,bythesuperimpositionofaneworderthatasyethadassumednodefinitecharacter.Someoftheoldlandmarkshaddisappeared;therewerenewandaggressiveofficebuildings,newandaggressiveresidences,newandaggressivecitizenswholivedinthem,andofwhommymotherspokewithgentledeprecation.EvenClaremore,thatparadiseofmychildhood,hadgrownshrivelledandshabby,eventawdry,Ithought,whenwewentoutthereoneSundayafternoon;allthatoncerepresentedthemagicword"country"hadvanished.Theoldflatpiano,madeinPhiladelphiaagesago,thehorsehairchairsandsofahadbeenreplacedbyanondescriptfurnitureofthesortdisplayedbehindplate-glasswindowsofthecity\'sstores:rocking-chairsonstands,upholsteredinclashingcolours,theircoiledspringsonlyhalfhiddenbytassels,and"ornamental"electricfixtures,insteadofthepolishedcoal-oillamps.CousinJennyhadgrownwhite,Williewasastaidbachelor,Helenanoldmaid,whileMaryhadmarriedatall,anaemicyoungmanwithglasses,WalterKinley,whomCousinRoberthadtakenintothestore.AsIcontemplatedtheBrecksoddquestionssuggestedthemselves:didhonestyandwarm-heartednessnecessarilyaccompanyalackofartistictaste?andwasvirtueitsownreward,afterall?Theydrewmymotherintothehouse,tookoffherwraps,setherdowninthemostcomfortablerocker,andinsistedonmakingheracupoftea.
Iwastouched.Ilovedthemstill,andyetIwasconsciousofreservationsconcerningthem.They,too,seemedalittleonthedefensivewithme,andonceinawhileMarywascausticinherremarks.
"IguessnothingbutNewYorkwillbegoodenoughforHughnow.He\'llbetakingCousinSarahawayfromus."
"Notatall,mydear,"saidmymother,gently,"he\'sgoingintoMr.
Watling\'sofficenextautumn."
"TheodoreWatling?"demandedCousinRobert,pausinginhiscarving.
"Yes,Robert.Mr.WatlinghasbeengoodenoughtosaythathewouldliketohaveHugh.Isthereanything——?"
"Oh,I\'moutofdate,Sarah,"CousinRobertreplied,vigorouslyseveringthelegoftheturkey."Thesemodernlawyersaretoosmartforme.
Watling\'snoworsethantheothers,Isuppose,——onlyhe\'sgotmoreability."
"I\'veneverheardanythingagainsthim,"saidmymotherinapainedvoice."OnlytheotherdayMcAleryWillettcongratulatedmethatHughwasgoingtobewithhim."
"Youmustn\'tmindRobert,Sarah,"putinCousinJenny,——aremarkreminiscentofotherdays.
"Dadhasanotionthathisgenerationistheonlyhonestone,"saidHelen,laughingly,asshepassedaplate.
Ihadgainedasenseofsuperiority,andIwasquiteindifferenttoCousinRobert\'sopinionofMr.Watling,ofmodernlawyersingeneral.
Morethanonceawaveofself-congratulationsurgedthroughmethatIhadpossessedtheforesightandinitiativetogetoutofthewholesalegrocerybusinesswhiletherewasyettime.IlookedatWillie,stillfreckled,stillliteral,stillaplodder,atWalterKinley,andIthoughtofthedrabnessoftheirlives;atCousinRoberthimselfashesatsmokinghiscigarinthebay-windowonthatdarkFebruaryday,andsuddenlyIpitiedhim.Thesuspicionstruckmethathehadnotprosperedoflate,andthisdeepenedtoaconvictionashetalked.
"TheRepublicanPartyisgoingtothedogs,"heasserted.
"Itusedtobeanhonourableparty,butnowitisnobetterthantheother.Politicsareonlyconducted,now,forthepurposeofmakingunscrupulousmenrich,sir.ForyearsIfurnishedthiscitywithgoodgroceries,ifIdosayitmyself.Itookaprideinthefactthattheinmatesofthehospitals,yes,andthedependentpoorinthecity\'sinstitutions,shouldhavehonestfood.Youcangetanythingoutofthecityifyouarewillingtopaythepoliticiansforit.Ilostmycitycontracts.Why?BecauseIrefusedtodealwithscoundrels.WeillandCompanyandotherunscrupulousupstartsarewillingtodoso,andpoisonthepoorandthesickwithadulteratedgroceries!ThefirstthingIknewwasthatthecityauditorwasholdingbackmybillsforsupplies,andpayingWeill\'s.That\'swhatpoliticsandbusiness,yes,sir,andthelaw,havecometointhesedays.Ifamanwantstosucceed,hemustturnintoarascal."
Iwasnotshocked,butIwassilent,uncomfortable,wishingthatitweretimetotakethetrainbacktothecity.CousinRobert\'sfacewasmorewornthanIhadthought,andIcontrastedhiminevitablywiththeforcefulpersonwhousedtostand,inhiswornalpacacoat,onthepavementinfrontofhisstore,greetingwithclear-eyedcontenthisfellowmerchantsofthecity.WillieBreck,too,wassilent,andWalterKinleytookoffhisglassesandwipedthem.InthemeanwhileHelenhadleftthegroupinwhichmymothersat,and,approachingus,laidherhandsonherfather\'sshoulders.
"Now,dad,"shesaid,inaffectionateremonstrance,"you\'reexcitedaboutpoliticsagain,andyouknowitisn\'tgoodforyou.Andbesides,they\'renotworthit."
"You\'reright,Helen,"hereplied.Underthepressureofherhandshemadeastrongefforttocontrolhimself,andturnedtoaddressmymotheracrosstheroom.
"I\'mgettingtobeacrotchetyoldman,"hesaid."It\'sagoodthingI
haveadaughtertoremindmeofit."
"Itisagoodthing,Robert,"saidmymother.
Duringtherestofourvisitheseemedtohaverecoveredsomethingofhisformerspiritsandpoise,takingrefugeinthepast.Theytalkedoftheirownyouth,offamilieswhosehouseshadbeenlandmarksontheSecondBank.
"I\'mworriedaboutyourCousinRobert,Hugh,"mymotherconfidedtome,whenwewereatlengthseatedinthetrain."I\'veheardrumoursthatthingsarenotsowellatthestoreastheymightbe."Welookedoutatthewinterlandscape,sodifferentfromthatonewhichhadthrilledeveryfibreofmybeinginthedayswhentherailroadonwhichwetravelledhadbeenawindingnarrowgauge.Theorchards——thosethatremained——werebare;stubbleprickedthefrozengroundwheretasselshadoncewavedinthehot,summerwind.Weflewbyrowafterrowofginger-bread,suburbanhousesbuilton"villaplots,"andIreadinlargelettersonahideoussign-board,"WoodbinePark."
"Hugh,haveyoueverheardanythingagainst——Mr.Watling?"
"No,mother,"Isaid."SofarasIknew,heisverymuchlookeduptobylawyersandbusinessmen.Heiscounsel,Ibelieve,forMr.Blackwood\'sstreetcarlineonBoyneStreet.AndItoldyou,Ibelieve,thatImethimonceatMr.Kyme\'s."
"PoorRobert!"shesighed."Isupposebusinesstroubledoesmakeonebitter,——I\'veseenitsooften.ButIneverimaginedthatitwouldovertakeRobert,andathistimeoflife!Itisanoldandrespectedfirm,andwehavealwayshadaprideinit."
Thatnight,whenIwasgoingtobed,itwasevidentthatthesubjectwasstillinhermind.Sheclungtomyhandamoment.
"I,too,amafraidofthenew,Hugh,"shesaid,alittletremulously.
"Weallgrowso,asagecomeson."
"Butyouarenotold,mother,"Iprotested.
"Ihaveafeeling,sinceyourfatherhasgone,thatIhavelivedmylife,mydear,thoughI\'dliketostaylongenoughtoseeyouhappilymarried——
tohavegrandchildren.Iwasnotyoungwhenyouwereborn."Andsheadded,afteralittlewhile,"Iknownothingaboutbusinessaffairs,andnow——nowthatyourfatherisnolongerhere,sometimesI\'mafraid——"
"Afraidofwhat,mother?"
Shetriedtosmileatmethroughhertears.Wewereintheoldsitting-
room,surroundedbythebooks.
"Iknowit\'sfoolish,anditisn\'tthatIdon\'ttrustyou.Iknowthatthesonofyourfathercouldn\'tdoanythingthatwasnothonourable.AndyetIamafraidofwhattheworldisbecoming.Thecityisgrowingsofast,andsomanynewpeoplearecomingin.Thingsarenotthesame.
Robertisright,there.AndIhaveheardyourfathersaythesamething.
Hugh,promisemethatyouwilltrytorememberalwayswhathewas,andwhathewouldwishyoutobe!"
"Iwill,mother,"Ianswered."ButIthinkyouwouldfindthatCousinRobertexaggeratesalittle,makesthingsseemworsethantheyreallyare.Customschange,youknow.Andpoliticswereneverwell——Sundayschools."I,too,smiledalittle."Fatherknewthat.Andhewouldnevertakeanactivepartinthem."
"Hewastoofine!"sheexclaimed.
"Andnow,"Icontinued,"CousinRoberthashappenedtocomeincontactwiththemthroughbusiness.Thatiswhathasmadethedifferenceinhim.
Before,healwaysknewtheywerecorrupt,butherarelythoughtaboutthem."
"Hugh,"shesaidsuddenly,afterapause,"youmustrememberonething,——
thatyoucanaffordtobeindependent.IthankGodthatyourfatherhasprovidedforthat!"
Iwasdulyadmitted,thenextautumn,tothebarofmyownstate,andwasassignedtoadeskintheofficesofWatling,FowndesandRipon.LarryWeedwasmyimmediatesenioramongtheapprentices,andLarrywasahero-
worshipper.Icanseehimnow.Hesuggestedabullfrogashesatinthelittleroomwesharedincommon,hisarmsakimbooveralawbook,hislittlelegsdoubledunderhim,hisround,eyesfixedexpectantlyonthedoorway.AndevenifIhadnotbeenawareofmygoodfortuneinbeingconnectedwithsuchafirmasTheodoreWatling\'s,Larrywouldshortlyhavebroughtithometome.DuringthoseweekswhenIwasmakingmyfirstdesperateattemptsatbriefingupthelawIwassometimesinterruptedbyhisexclamationswhencertainfigureswentbyinthecorridor.
"Say,Hugh,doyouknowwhothatwas?"
"No."
"MillerGorse."
"Who\'she?"
"DoyoumeantosayyouneverheardofMillerGorse?"
"I\'vebeenawayalongtime,"Iwouldanswerapologetically.ApersonofsomeimportanceamongmycontemporariesatHarvard,Ihadlookedforwardtoaresidenceinmynativecitywiththecomplacencyofonewhohasseensomethingoftheworld,——onlytofindthatIwastheleastinthenewkingdom.Anditwasakingdom.Larryopeneduptomesomethingofthesignificanceandextentofit,somethingoftheidentityofthemenwhocontrolledit.
"MillerGorse,"hesaidimpressively,"isthecounselfortherailroad."
"Whatrailroad?Youmeanthe——"Iwasadding,whenheinterruptedmepityingly.
"Afteryou\'vebeenhereawhileyou\'llfindoutthere\'sonlyonerailroadinthisstate,sofaraspoliticsareconcerned.TheAshuelaandNorthern,theLakeShoreandtheothersdon\'tcount."
Irefrainedfromaskinganymorequestionsatthattime,butafterwardsI
