第41章

"Youdoloveme,don\'tyou?"shewhispered,clingingtomewithasudden,strainingpassion."Youwillloveme,alwaysnomatterwhathappens?"

"Why,ofcourse,Nancy,"Ianswered.

"Iwanttohearyousayit,\'Iloveyou,Ishallloveyoualways.\'"

Irepeateditfervently

"Nomatterwhathappens?"

"Nomatterwhathappens.AsifIcouldhelpit,Nancy!Whyareyousosadto-night?"

"Ah,Hugh,itmakesmesad——Ican\'ttellwhy.Itissogreat,itissoterrible,andyetit\'ssosweetandbeautiful."

Shetookmyfaceinherhandsandpressedakissagainstmyforehead

Thenextdaywasdark.Attwoo\'clockintheafternoontheelectriclightwasstillburningovermydeskwhenthetelephonerangandIheardNancy\'svoice.

"Isthatyou,Hugh?"

"Yes."

"IhavetogoEastthisafternoon."

"Why?"Iasked.Heragitationhadcommunicateditselftome."Ithoughtyouweren\'tgoinguntilThursday.What\'sthematter?"

"I\'vejusthadatelegram,"shesaid."Ham\'sbeenhurt——Idon\'tknowhowbadly——hewasthrownfromapoloponythismorningatNarragansett,inpractice,andthey\'retakinghimtoBostontoaprivatehospital.Thetelegram\'sfromJohnnyShephard.I\'llbeatthehouseintownatfour."

FilledwithforebodingsItriedinvaintosuppressIdroppedtheworkI

wasdoingandgotupandpacedtheroom,pausingnowandagaintogazeoutofthewindowatthewetroofsandthegreyskies.IwasaghastattheideaofhergoingtoHamnoweventhoughhewerehurtbadlyhurt;andyetItriedtothinkitwasnatural,thatitwasfineofhertorespondtosuchacall.Andshecouldn\'tverywellrefusehissummons.Butitwasnotthenewsofherhusband\'saccidentthatinspiredthegreaterfear,whichwasquelledandsoothedonlytoriseagainwhenIrecalledthenoteIhadheardinhervoice,anoteeloquentoftragedy——oftragedyshehadforeseen.Atlength,unabletoremainwhereIwasanylonger,I

descendedtothestreetandwalkeduptownintherain.TheDurretthousewasclosed,theblindsofitsmanywindowsdrawn,butNancywaswatchingformeandopenedthedoor.SousedhadIgrowntoseeingherinthesimplelinendressesshehadworninthecountry,acostumeassociatedwithexclusivepossession,thatthesightofhertravellingsuitandhatrenewedinmeanagonyofapprehension.Theunforeseeneventseemedtohavetransformedheroncemore.Herveilwasdrawnup,herfacewaspale,inhereyesweretracesoftears.

"You\'regoing?"Iasked,asItookherhands.

"Hugh,Ihavetogo."

Sheledmethroughthedark,shroudeddrawingroomintothelittlesalonwherethewindowswereopenonthesilentcity-garden.Itookherinmyarms;shedidnotresist,asIhalfexpected,butclungtomewithwhatseemeddesperation.

"Ihavetogo,dear——youwon\'tmakeittoohardforme!It\'sonly——

ordinarydecency,andthere\'snooneelsetogotohim."

Shedrewmetothesofa,hereyesbeseechingme.

"Listen,dear,IwantyoutoseeitasIseeit.Iknowthatyouwill,thatyoudo.IshouldneverbeabletoforgivemyselfifIstayedawaynow,I——neitherofuscouldeverbehappyaboutit.Youdosee,don\'tyou?"sheimplored.

"Yes,"Iadmittedagitatedly.

Hergrasponmyhandtightened.

"Iknewyouwould.Butitmakesmehappiertohearyousayit."

Wesatforamomentinhelplesssilence,gazingatoneanother.Slowlyhereyeshadfilled.

"Haveyouheardanythingmore?"Imanagedtoask.

Shedrewatelegramfromherbag,asthoughthemovementwerearelief.

"ThisisfromthedoctorinBoston——hisnameisMagruder.TheyhavegotHamthere,itseems.Ahorsekickedhiminthehead,afterhefell,——hehadjustrecoveredconsciousness."

Itookthetelegram.Thewordyseemedmeaningless,allsavethoseofthelastsentence."Thesituationisserious,butbynomeanshopeless."

Nancyhadnotspokenofthat.Theignorantcrueltyofitsconvention!

ThemanmusthaveknownwhatHambletonDurrettwas!Nancyreadmythoughts,andtookthepaperfrommyhand.

"Hugh,dear,ifit\'shardforyou,trytounderstandthatit\'sterribleformetothinkthathehasanyclaimatall.Irealizenow,asIneverdidbefore,howwickeditwasinmetomarryhim.Ihatehim,Ican\'tbearthethoughtofgoingnearhim."

Shefellintowildweeping.Itriedtocomforther,whocouldnotcomfortmyself;Idon\'tremembermyinadequatewords.Wewereoverwhelmed,obliteratedbythesenseofcalamityItwasshewhocheckedherselfatlastbyaneffortthatwasalmosthysterical.

"Imustn\'tyieldtoit!"shesaid."It\'stimetoleaveandthetraingoesatsix.No,youmustn\'tcometothestation,Hugh——Idon\'tthinkI

couldstandit.I\'llsendyouatelegram."Sherose."Youmustgonow——youmust."

"You\'llcomebacktome?"Idemandedthickly,asIheldher.

"Hugh,Iamyours,nowandalways.Howcanyoudoubtit?"

AtlastIreleasedher,whenshehadbeggedmeagain.AndIfoundmyselfalittlelaterwalkingpastthefamiliar,emptyhousesofthosestreets

ThefrontpagesoftheeveningnewspapersannouncedtheaccidenttoHambletonDurrett,andaddedthatMrs.Durrett,whohadbeenlingeringinthecity,hadgonetoherhusband\'sbedside.Themorningpaperscontainedmoreofbiographyandancestry,buthadlittletoaddtothebulletin;andtherewasnolackofspeculationattheClubandelsewhereastoHam\'sabilitytorallyfromsuchashock.Icouldnotbeartolistentothesecomments:theywereviolentlydistastefultome.TheunforeseenaccidentandNancy\'ssuddendeparturehadthrownmylifecompletelyoutofgear:Icouldnotattendtobusiness,IdarednotgoawaylestthenewsfromNancybedelayed.Ispentthehoursinanexhaustingmentalstatethatalternatedbetweenhopeandfear,astateofunmitigated,intensedesire,ofbalkedrealization,sometimesheighteningintothatsheerterrorIhadfeltwhenIhaddetectedoverthetelephonethatnoteinhervoicethatseemedofdespair.Hadshehadapresentiment,allalong,thatsomethingwouldoccurtoseparateus?AsI

wentbackoverthehourswehadpassedtogethersinceshehadacknowledgedherlove,inspiteofmyselftheconvictiongrewonmethatshehadneverbelievedintherealityofourfuture.Indeed,shehadexpressedherdisbeliefinwords.Hadshebeenlookingallalongforasign——asignofwrath?AndwouldsheacceptthisaccidentofHam\'sassuch?

Retrospectionleftmetremblingandalmostsick.

ItwasnotuntilthesecondmorningafterherdeparturethatIreceivedatelegramgivingthenameofherBostonhotel,andsayingthattherewastobeaconsultationthatday,andassoonasithadtakenplaceshewouldwrite.SuchconsolationasIcouldgatherfromitwasderivedfromfourwordsattheend,——shemissedmedreadfully.Sometremorofpityforherenteredintomyconsciousness,withoutmitigatinggreatlythewildnessofmyresentment,ofmyforebodings.

Icouldbearnolongerthecity,theClub,theoffice,thedailycontactwithmyassociatesandclients.Sixhoursdistant,nearRossiter,wasasmallresortinthemountainsofw