第42章

InspiteofthefactIhavenoted,thatIhadlostacertainzestforresults,tokeepbusyseemedtobetheonlywaytorelievemymindofanotherwiseintolerablepressure:andIworkedsometimesfarintotheevening.Inthebackgroundofmythoughtslaythenecessityofcomingtoadecisiononthequestionofthesenatorship;severaltimesDickinsonandGorsehadspokenofit,andIwasbeginningtogetlettersfrominfluentialmeninotherpartsofthestate.Theyseemedtotakeitforgrantedthattherewasnoquestionofmyrefusing.ThetimecamewhenI

hadgrownabletoconsiderthematterwithadegreeofcalmness.Whatstruckmefirst,whenIbegantodebateuponit,wasthatthesenatorshipofferedanewandpossiblyhigherfieldformyenergies,whileatthesametimetheofficewouldbealogicalcontinuationofasignallegalcareer.IwasnowunabletodenythatInolongerfeltanyexhilarationattheprospectoffuturelegalconquestssimilartothoseofthepast;

butonceintheSenate,ImightregainsomethingofthatintenseconvictionoffightingforajustandsoundcausewithwhichTheodoreWadinghadonceanimatedme:fightingthere,intheCapitolatWashington,wouldbedifferent;nostigmaofpersonalgainattachedtoit;itofferedanearerapproachtotheidealIhadoncemorebeguntoseek,heldouthopesofarenewalofmyunityofmind.Mr.Watlinghaddeclaredthattherewassomethingtofightfor;Ihadevenglimpsedthatsomething,butIhadtoconfessthatforsomeyearsIhadnotbeenconsciouslyfightingforit.Ineededsomethingtofightfor.

Therewasthenecessity,however,ofrenewingmycalculations.IfHambletonDurrettshouldrecover,evenduringtheensuingyear,andifNancyrelenteditwouldnotbepossibleforustobedivorcedandmarriedforsometime.Istillclungtenaciouslytothebeliefthattherewerenorelationshipswhollyunaffectedbyworldlytriumphs,andasSenatorI

shouldhavestrengthenedmyposition.Itdidnotstrikeme——evenafterallmyexperience——thatsuchacourseasInowcontemplatedhadaparallelintheonethatIhadpursuedinregardtoherwhenIwasyoung.

ItseemedfittingthatTheodoreWatlingshouldbethefirsttoknowofmydecision.IwenttoWashingtontomeethim.Itpainedmetoseehimlookingmoreworn,buthewasstillascheerful,asmentallyvigorousasever,andIperceivedthathedidnotwishtodwelluponhisillness.I

didventuretoexpostulatewithhimontheriskhemustberunninginservingouthisterm.Weweresittinginthediningroomofhishouse.

"We\'veonlyonelifetolive,Hugh,"heanswered,smilingatme,"andwemightaswellgetalloutofitwecan.Afewyearsmoreorlessdoesn\'tmakemuchdifference——andIoughttobesatisfied.I\'dresignnow,topleasemywife,topleasemyfriends,butwecan\'ttrustthisgovernortoappointasafeman.Howlittlewesuspectedwhenweelectedhimthathe\'dbecomeinfected.Younevercantell,inthesedays,canyou?"

ItwasthenoteofdevotiontohiscausethatIhadcometohear:Ifeltitrenewingme,asIhadhoped.Thethreatofdisease,thelouderclamouringsoftheleadersofthemobhadnotsufficedtodismayhim——

thoughheadmittedmoreconcernoverthese.Mysympathyandaffectionweremingledwiththeadmirationheneverfailedtoinspire.

"Butyou,Hugh,"hesaidconcernedly,"you\'renotlookingverywell,myson.Youmustmanagetotakeagoodrestbeforecominghere——beforethecampaignyou\'llhavetogothrough.Wecan\'taffordtohaveanythinghappentoyou——you\'retooyoung."

IwonderedwhetherhehadheardanythingHespoketomeagainabouttheworktobedone,theworkhelookedtometocarryon.

"We\'llhavetowatchforouropportunity,"hesaid,"andwhenitcomeswecanhandlethisnewmovementnotbycrushingit,butbyguidingit.I\'vecometotheconclusionthatthereisatrueinstinctinit,thattherearecertainthingswehavedonewhichhavebeenmistakes,andwhichwecan\'tdoanymore.Butasforthistheorythatallwisdomresidesinthepeople,it\'sbuncombe.Whatwehavetodoistoworkoutapracticalprogramme."

Hisconfidenceinmehadnotdiminished.Ithelpedtorestoreconfidenceinmyself.

TheweatherwascoolandbracingforSeptember,andaswedroveinamotorthroughthebeautifulavenuesofthecityhepointedoutahouseformeononeofthecircles,oneofthosedistinguishedresidences,instancesofanascentgoodtaste,thatarehelpingtoredeemthepolyglotaspectofournationalcapital.Mr.Watlingspoke——rathertactfully,Ithought——ofMaudeandthechildren,andventuredthesurmisethattheywouldbereturninginafewmonths.Iinterpretedthis,indeed,asinratherthenatureofakindlyhintthatsuchaprocedurewouldbewiseinviewofthelargerlifenowdawningforme,butImadenocommentHeevensympathizedwithNancyDurrett.

"Shedidtherightthing,Hugh,"hesaid,withtheadmirablecasualmannerhepossessedoftreatingsubjectswhichheknewtobedelicate.

"Nancy\'safinewoman.Poordevil!"ThisinreferencetoHam

Mr.Watlingreassuredmeonthesubjectofhisowntrouble,maintainingthathehadmanyyearsleftifhetookcare.Hedrovemetothestation.

Itravelledhomewardsomewhatliftedoutofmyselfbythisvisittohim;

withsomefeelingofspaciousnessderivedfromWashingtonitself,withitsdignifiedPresidentialMansionamongthetrees,itsgraniteshaftdrawingtheeyeupward,withitswingedCapitolsereneuponthehill.

Shouldwedelivertheseheirloomstothemob?SurelyDemocracymeantmorethanthat!

AllthistimeIhadbeenreceiving,atintervals,lettersfromMaudeandthechildren.Maude\'swerethelettersofafriend,andIfounditeasytoconvincemyselfthattheirtonewasgenuine,thattheseparationhadbroughtcontentmenttoher;andthoseindependentandself-sufficientelementsinhercharacterIadmirednowratherthandeplored.AtEtretat,whichshefoundmuchtohertaste,shewaslivingquietly,butmakingfriendswithsomeAmericanandEnglish,andoneFrenchfamilyofthesamename,Buffon,asthegreatnaturalist.Thefatherwasaretiredsilkmanufacturer;theynowresidedinParis,andhadbeenverykindinhelpinghertogetanapartmentinthatcityforthewinter.ShehadchosenoneontheAvenueKleber,notfarfromtheArc.Itisinteresting,afterherarraignmentofme,thatsheshouldhavetakensuchpainstorecordtheirdailylifeformybenefitinherclear,conscientioushandwriting.IbeheldBiddy,herdressestuckedaboveslimlittleknees,playinginthesandonthebeach,herhairflyinginthewindandlightedbythesunwhichgavesparkletothesea.IsawMaudeherselfinherbeachchair,abooklyinginherlap,itspageswhippedbythebreeze.AndtherewasMoreton,whomustbeprovingsomethingofahandful,sincehehadfoughtwiththeFrenchboysonthebeachandthrowna"rock"throughthewindowsoftheBuffonfamily.Irememberoneofhisletters——madeperfectaftermuchcorrectingandscratching,——inwhichhedenouncedbothFranceandtheFrench,andappealedtometocomeoveratoncetotakehimhome.Maudehadencloseditwithoutcomment.Thisletterhadnotbeenwrittenunderduress,asmostofhiswere.

Matthew\'sletters——hewrotefaithfullyonceaweek——Ikeptinalittlepilebythemselvesandsometimesrereadthem.IwonderedwhetheritwerebecauseofthefactthatIwashisfather——thoughamostinadequateone——

thatIthoughtthemsomewhatunusual.HehadlearnedFrench——Maudewrote——withremarkableease.Iwasparticularlystruckintheseletterswiththeboy\'spowerofobservation,withhisfacileuseoflanguage,withthevividsimplicityofhisdescriptionsofthelifearoundhim,ofhisexperiencesatschool.Theletterswerethoughtful——notdashedoffinahurry;theygaveevidenceineverylineofthedelicacyoffeelingthatwas,Ithink,hismostappealingquality,andIputthemdownwiththeimpressionstrongonmethathe,too,longedtoreturnhome,butwouldnotsayso.Therewasacertainpathosinthisyouthfulrestraintthatneverfailedtotouchme,eveninthosetimeswhenIhadbeenmostobsessedwithloveandpassionThecuriouseffectoftheseletterswasthatofknowingmorethantheyexpressed.Hemissedme,hewishedtoknowwhenIwascomingover.AndIwassometimesatalosswhethertobegratefultoMaudeortroubledbecauseshehadasyetgivenhimnohintofourseparation.Whateffectwouldithaveonhimwhenitshouldberevealedtohim?ItwasthroughMatthewIbegantoapprehendcertainelementsinMaudeIhadbothfailedtonoteandappreciate;herlittlemannerismsthatjarred,herhabitsofthoughtthatexasperated,wereforgotten,andIwasforcedtoconfessthattherewassomethingfineintheachievementofthisattitudeofhersthatwaswithoutillwillorresentment,thattacitlyacknowledgedmycontinuedrightsandinterestinthechildren.Itpuzzledandtroubledme.

TheCitizensUnionbeganitscampaignearlythatautumn,longbeforetheHons.JonathanParksandTimothyMacGuire——RepublicanandDemocraticcandidatesforMayor——thoughtofgoingonthestump.Forseveralweeksthemeetingswereheldinthesmallhallsandclubroomsofvarioussocietiesandordersinobscureportionsofthecity.

Theforcesof"privilegeandcorruption"werenotmuchalarmed.PerryBlackwoodaccusedthenewspapersofhavingagreedtoa"conspiracyofsilence";but,asJudahB.Tallantremarked,itwasthebusinessofthepresstogivethepublicwhatitwanted,andthepublicasyethadn\'tshownmuchinterestinthestrugglebeingwagedinitsbehalf.WhenthemeetingsbegantofillupitwouldbetimetoreporttheminthecolumnsoftheEra.Meanwhile,however,thecityhadbeenquietlyvisitedbyanenterprisingrepresentativeofaNewYorkperiodicalofthenewtypethatdevelopedwiththeopeningyearsofthecentury——onemakingaspecialtyofpassionate"muck-raking."AndsincethepeopleofAmericalovenothingbetterthanbeingstartled,Yardley\'sWeeklyhadacquiredacirculationtrulyfabulous.TheemissaryofthepaperhadattendedseveraloftheCitizensmeetings;interviewed,itseemed,manypersons:

theresultwasarevelationtomakethebloodofpoliticians,capitalistsandcorporationlawyersruncold.Irememberverywellthedayitappearedonournewsstands,andtheheateddenunciationsitevokedattheBoyneClub.RalphHambletonwastheonlyonewhotookitcalmly,whoseemedtoderiveacertainenjoymentfromtheaffair.Hadhebeenalessprivilegedperson,theywouldhaveputhiminchancery.LeonardDickinsonassertedthatYardley\'sshouldbesuedforlibel.

"There\'sjustoneobjectiontothat,"saidRalph.

"What?"as