Kim

第20章

Imayspendonenighthereandperhapsthenext。Ithashappenedbefore。

ThenIwillrunawayandreturntothee。’

`Buttellthemthatthouartmychela。TellthemhowthoudidstcometomewhenIwasfaintandbewildered。TellthemofourSearch,andtheywillsurelylettheegonow。’

`Ihavealreadytoldthem。Theylaugh,andtheytalkofthepolice。’

`Whatareyousaying?’askedMrBennett。

`Oah。Heonlysaysthatifyoudonotletmegoitwillstophiminhisbusiness-hisur-gentprivateaf-fairs。’ThislastwasareminiscenceofsometalkwithaEurasianclerkintheCanalDepartment,butitonlydrewasmile,whichnettledhim。`Andifyoudidknowwhathisbusinesswasyouwouldnotbeinsuchabeastlyhurrytointerfere。’

`Whatisitthen?’saidFatherVictor,notwithoutfeeling,ashewatchedthelama’sface。

`ThereisaRiverinthiscountrywhichhewishestofindsoverreemuch。ItwasputoutbyanArrowwhich-’KimtappedhisfootimpatientlyashetranslatedinhisownmindfromthevernaculartohisclumsyEnglish。

`Oah,itwasmadebyourLordGodBuddha,youknow,andifyouwashthereyouarewashedawayfromallyoursinsandmadeaswhiteascotton-wool。’

(Kimhadheardmission-talkinhistime。)`Iamhisdisciple,andwemustfindthatRiver。Itissoverreevaluabletous。’

`Saythatagain,’saidBennett。Kimobeyed,withamplifications。

`Butthisisgrossblasphemy!’criedtheChurchofEngland。

`Tck!Tck!’saidFatherVictorsympathetically。`I’dgiveagooddealtobeabletotalkthevernacular。Ariverthatwashesawaysin!Andhowlonghaveyoutwobeenlookingforit?’

`Oh,manydays。Nowwewishtogoawayandlookforitagain。Itisnothere,yousee。’

`Isee,’saidFatherVictorgravely。`Buthecan’tgooninthatoldman’scompany。Itwouldbedifferent,Kim,ifyouwerenotasoldier’sson。TellhimthattheRegimentwilltakecareofyouandmakeyouasgoodamanasyour-asgoodamanascanbe。Tellhimthatifhebelievesinmiracleshemustbelievethat-’

`Thereisnoneedtoplayonhiscredulity,’Bennettinterrupted。

`I’mdoingnosuchthing。Hemustbelievethattheboy’scominghere-tohisownRegiment-insearchofhisRedBullisinthenatureofamiracle。Considerthechancesagainstit,Bennett。ThisoneboyinallIndia,andourRegimentofallothersonthelineo’marchforhimtomeetwith!It’spredestinedonthefaceofit。Yes,tellhimit’sKismet。Kismet,mallum?[Doyouunderstand?]’

Heturnedtowardsthelama,towhomhemightaswellhavetalkedofMesopotamia。

`Theysay,’-theoldman’seyelightedatKim’sspeech-`theysaythatthemeaningofmyhoroscopeisnowaccomplished,andthatbeingledback-thoughasthouknowestIwentoutofcuriosity-tothesepeopleandtheirRedBullImustneedsgotoamadrissahandbeturnedintoaSahib。NowImakepretenceofagreement,forattheworstitwillbebutafewmealseatenawayfromthee。ThenIwillslipawayandfollowdowntheroadtoSaharunpore。Therefore,HolyOne,keepwiththatKuluwoman-onnoaccountstrayfarfromhercarttillIcomeagain。Pastquestion,mysignisofWarandofarmedmen。Seehowtheyhavegivenmewinetodrinkandsetmeuponabedofhonour!Myfathermusthavebeensomegreatperson。Soiftheyraisemetohonouramongthem,good。Ifnot,goodagain。

Howeveritgoes,IwillrunbacktotheewhenIamtired。ButstaywiththeRajputni,orIshallmissthyfeet……Oahyess,’saidtheboy,`Ihavetoldhimeverythingyoutellmetosay。’

`AndIcannotseeanyneedwhyheshouldwait,’saidBennett,feelinginhistrouser-pocket。`Wecaninvestigatethedetailslater-andIwillgivehimaru-’

`Givehimtime。Maybehe’sfondofthelad,’saidFatherVictor,halfarrestingtheclergyman’smotion。

Thelamadraggedforthhisrosaryandpulledhishugehat-brimoverhiseyes。

`Whatcanhewantnow?’

`Hesays’-Kimputuponehand。`Hesays:Bequiett。Hewantstospeaktomebyhimself。Yousee,youdonotknowonelittlewordofwhathesays,andIthinkifyoutalkhewillperhapsgiveyouverybadcurses。Whenhetakesthosebeadslikethat,yousee,healwayswantstobequiett。’

ThetwoEnglishmensatoverwhelmed,buttherewasalookinBennett’seyethatpromisedillforKimwhenheshouldberelaxedtothereligiousarm。

`ASahibandthesonofaSahib-’Thelama’svoicewasharshwithpain。`Butnowhitemanknowsthelandandthecustomsofthelandasthouknowest。Howcomesitthisistrue?’

`Whatmatter,HolyOne?-butrememberitisonlyforanightortwo。

Remember,Icanchangeswiftly。ItwillallbeasitwaswhenIfirstspoketotheeunderZam-Zammahthegreatgun-’

`Asaboyinthedressofwhitemen-whenIfirstwenttotheWonderHouse。AndasecondtimethouwastaHindu。Whatshallthethirdincarnationbe?’Hechuckleddrearily。`Ah,chela,thouhasdoneawrongtoanoldmanbecausemyheartwentouttothee。’

`Andminetothee。ButhowcouldIknowthattheRedBullwouldbringmetothisbusiness?’

Thelamacoveredhisfaceafresh,andnervouslyrattledtherosary。

Kimsquattedbesidehimandlaidholduponafoldofhisclothing。

`NowitisunderstoodthattheboyisaSahib?’hewentoninamuffledtone。`SuchaSahibaswashewhokepttheimagesintheWonderHouse。’

Thelama’sexperienceofwhitemenwaslimited。Heseemedtoberepeatingalesson。`SothenitisnotseemlythatheshoulddootherthanastheSahibsdo。Hemustgobacktohisownpeople。’

`Foradayandanightandaday,’Kimpleaded。

`No,yedon’t!’FatherVictorsawKimedgingtowardsthedoor,andinterposedastrongleg。

`Idonotunderstandthecustomsofwhitemen。ThePriestoftheImagesintheWonderHouseinLahorewasmorecourteousthanthethinonehere。

Thisboywillbetakenfromme。TheywillmakeaSahibofmydisciple?

Woetome!HowshallIfindmyRiver?Havetheynodisciples?Ask。’

`HesaysheisverysorreethathecannotfindtheRivernowanymore。

Hesays,Whyhaveyounodisciples,andstopbotheringhim?Hewantstobewashedofhissins。’

NeitherBennettnorFatherVictorfoundanyanswerready。

SaidKiminEnglish,distressedforthelama’sagony:`Ithinkifyouwillletmegonowwewillwalkawayquietlyandnotsteal。WewilllookforthatRiverlikebeforeIwascaught。IwishIdidnotcomeheretofindtheRedBullandallthatsortofthing。Idonotwantit。’

`It’stheverybestday’sworkyoueverdidforyourself,youngman,’

saidBennett。

`Goodheavens,Idon’tknowhowtoconsolehim,’saidFatherVictor,watchingthelamaintently。`Hecan’ttaketheboyawaywithhim,andyethe’sagoodman-I’msurehe’sagoodman。Bennett,ifyougivehimthatrupeehe’llcurseyourootandbranch!’

Theylistenedtoeachother’sbreathing-three-fivefullminutes。

Thenthelamaraisedhishead,andlookedforthacrossthemintospaceandemptiness。

`AndIamaFolloweroftheWay,’hesaidbitterly。`Thesinismineandthepunishmentismine。Imadebelievetomyself-fornowIseeitwasbutmake-belief-thatthouwastsenttometoaidintheSearch。Somyheartwentouttotheeforthycharityandthycourtesyandthewisdomofthylittleyears。ButthosewhofollowtheWaymustpermitnotthefireofanydesireorattachment,forthatisallIllusion。Assays……`Hequotedanold,oldChinesetext,backeditwithanother,andreinforcedthesewithathird。`IsteppedasidefromtheWay,mychela。Itwasnofaultofthine。Idelightedinthesightoflife,thenewpeopleupontheroads,andinthyjoyatseeingthesethings。IwaspleasedwiththeewhoshouldhaveconsideredmySearchandmySearchalone。NowIamsorrowfulbecausethouarttakenawayandmyRiverisfarfromme。ItistheLawwhichIhavebroken!’

`PowersofDarknessbelow!’saidFatherVictor,who,wiseintheconfessional,heardthepainineverysentence。

`IseenowthatthesignoftheRedBullwasasignformeaswellasforthee。AllDesireisred-andevil。IwilldopenanceandfindmyRiveralone。’

`AtleastgobacktotheKuluwoman,’saidKim,`otherwisethouwiltbelostupontheroads。ShewillfeedtheetillIrunbacktothee。’

Thelamawavedahandtoshowthatthematterwasfinallysettledinhismind。

`Now,’-histonealteredasheturnedtoKim,-`whatwilltheydowiththee?AtleastImay,acquiringmerit,wipeoutpastill。’

`MakemeaSahib-sotheythink。ThedayaftertomorrowIreturn。Donotgrieve。’

`Ofwhatsort?Suchanoneasthisorthatman?’HepointedtoFatherVictor。`SuchanoneasthoseIsawthisevening-menwearingswordsandstampingheavily?’

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