Jeremy

第33章

Jeremywasnot,perhaps,sotactfulashemighthavebeen。“Ohbother,Mary!“hewouldsay。“You’vegoneandwakedHamletup!“or“Don’tstrokeHamletthatway,Mary;hehatesit!“or“No,I’mgoingforawalkwithHamlet;wedon’twantanyone!“OrHamlethimselfwouldsuddenlybarkatherasthoughhehatedher,orwouldbarehisteethandgrinatherinamocking,sarcasticwaythathehad。Atfirst,asananswertothis,shehadtheridiculousideaofherselfadoptingananimal,andsheselected,forthispurpose,thekitchencat,adull,somnolentbeast,whosesleekblackhairwasfurtive,andgreen,crookedeyesmalignant。ThecatshowednosignsofaffectionforMary,norcouldsheherselfhonestlycareforit。Whenshebroughtitwithherintotheschoolroom,Hamlettreateditinascornful,sarcasticfashionthatwasworsethanoutrageousattack。

Thecatwasuncleanly,andwasspeedilybanishedbackintothekitchen。Mary’sjealousyofHamletthengrewapace,andwiththatjealousy,unfortunately,hersecretappreciationofhissplendours。

Shecouldnothelpadmittingtoherselfthathewasthemostattractivedogintheworld。Shewouldlookathimfromunderherspectacleswhenshewassupposedtobereadingandwatchhimasherolled,kickinghislegsintheair,orlaystretchedout,hisblackwetnoseagainsthispaws,hiseyesgleaming,hisgazefixedlikethepointofadaggerraisedtostrike,uponsometrophy,orenemy,orspoil,orsat,solemnandpompous,liketheLordMayorholdingameeting,asJeremysaid,upagainsthismaster’sleg,squareandsolidasthoughhewerecutoutofwood,hispeakedbeardsupercilious,hisveryearsatapatronisingangle;or,asMarylovedbestofalltoseehim,whenhewassimplychildish,playing,asthoughhewasstillanew-foundpuppy,withpiecesofpaperorballsofstring,rollingandchoking,growling,purring,staggeringandtumbling。Atsuchtimes,againandagain,herimpulsewouldbetogoforwardandapplaudhim,andthen,theinstinctthatshewouldbecheckedbyJeremystayedher。

SheknewverywellthatJeremyrealisednothingofthis。Jeremywasnotgiventotheconsiderationofotherpeople’smotives——hisownindependencesavedhimfromanxietyaboutothers。HehadtheEnglishcharacteristicoffancyingthatothersmustlikeanddislikeashehimselflikedanddisliked。Ofsentimenthehadnoknowledgewhatever。

AsthisyeargrewtowardssummerMaryhadthefeelingthatJeremywasslippingawayfromher。Shedidnotknowwhathadhappenedtohim。Intheolddayshehadaskedheropinionaboutmanythings;hehadscornedtoenjoythelongstoriesthatshehadtoldhim——atanyrate,hehadlistenedtothemverypolitely——andhehadaskedhertosuggestgamesortoplaywithhistoys。Nowasthesummerdrewnear,hedidnoneofthesethings。Hewasfranklyimpatientwithherstories,neveraskedheradviceaboutanything,andneverplayedwithher。Washegrowingveryconceited?Wasitbecausehewasgoingtoschool,andthoughthimselftoooldforhissisters?No,hedidnotseemtobeconceited——hehadalwaysbeenproud,butneverconceited。Itwasratherasthoughhehadlatelyhadthoughtsofhisown,almostagainsthiswill,andthatthesehadshuthimofffromthepeopleroundhim。

Then,whentheirmotherwassoillandBarbaramadeherstartlingappearanceJeremykeptmoretohimself。Henevertalkedabouthismother’sillness,asdidtheothers,andyetMaryknewthathehadbeenmoredeeplyconcernedthananyofthem。Shehadbeenmiserable,ofcourse,buttoJeremyithadbeenasthoughhehadbeenledintoanewworldaltogether;Helenandshewerestillintheiroldplaces,andJeremyhadleftthem。

AtlastjustbeforetheyallmovedtoCowFarmMarymadeasillyscene。Shehadnotintendedtomakeascene。Scenesseemedtocomeuponher,likeevilbirds,straightoutoftheair,toseizeherbeforesheknewwhereshewas,toenvelopandcarryherupwiththem;atlast,whenallthemischiefwasdone,tosetheronherfeetagain,battered,tornandbitte

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