第12章

havenotspaceheretodescribeindetailthefurthereventsofhislife——how，receivingatelegramfromtheKingoftheZanzibarsabouttheplagueofrats，hetookshipwithhiscatandAldermanFitzwarrenandhiswife，howtheywereallswallowedbyawhale，castupbyamostluckychanceontheZanzibars，nearlycookedbythenatives，andrescuedbytheKingoftheZanzibars’beautifuldaughter，killedalltherats，weregivenahugefeast，withdanceandsong，andfinallyDick，althoughtemptedbytheduskyPrincess，refusedalargefortuneandreturnedtoAliceofEastcheap，thetrueladyofhisheart。Therewere，ofcourse，manyotherthings，suchastheaspirationsandmisadventuresofMrs。Fitzwarren，thedeep-

voicedladywhohadalreadysogreatlyamusedJeremy。AndthentherewasaTransformationScene，inwhichrosesturnedintotulipsandtulipsintotheHallofGold，downwhoseblazingstepsmarchedstoutrepresentativesofallthenations。

Itwasinthemiddleofthislastthrillingspectacle，whenJeremy’sheartwasinhismouthandhewassodeeplyexcitedthathedidnotknowwhetheritwereheortheladynexttohimwhowaseatingpeppermints，thathisunclepluckedhimbythesleeveandsaidinhisear：“Comeon。It’scloseontheend。Wemustgo。“

Jeremyveryreluctantlygotup，andstumbledoutoverkneesandlegsandexclamationslike：

“There’sJapan！““No，itain’t；it’sChiney！““You’safine，heartyyoungwoman！“andsoon。Hewasdraggedthroughtheblackcurtain，downthestonesteps，andintothestreet。

“Butitwasn’ttheend，“hesaid。

“Itwillbeinoneminute，“saidhisuncle。“AndIwantustogethomefirst。“

“Why？“saidJeremy。

“Neveryoumind。Comeon；we’llraceit。“

Theyarrivedhomebreathless，andthen，onceagainintheoldfamiliarhall，UncleSamuelsaid：

“Nowyounipuptothenursery，andthenthey’llneverknowyou’vebeenoutatall。“

“Neverknow？“saidJeremy。“Butyousaidthey’dsentforme。“

“Well，“saidUncleSamuel，“thatwasn’texactlytrue。Asamatteroffact，theydon’tknowyouwerethere。“

“Oh！“saidJeremy，thecornerofhismouthturningdown。“ThenI’vetoldalieagain！“

“Nonsense！“saidUncleSamuelimpatiently。“Itwasn’tyou；itwasI。“

“Anddoesn’titmatteryourtellinglies？“askedJeremy。

Theanswertothisdifficultquestionwas，happilyforUncleSamuel，interruptedbythearrivalofthehousehold，whohadcareenedupOrangeStreetinacab。

WhenMr。andMrs。ColesawJeremystandinginthehall，hisgreatcoatstillonandhismufflerroundhisneck，therewasafinesceneofwonderandamazement。

UncleSamuelexplained。“Itwasmyfault。Itoldhimyou’dforgivenhimandsentforhimtocome，afterall。He’sinanawfulstatenowthatyoushouldn’tforgivehim。“

WhatevertheythoughtofUncleSamuel，thiswasobviouslyneitherthetimenortheplacetospeakout。Mrs。Colelookedatherson。

Hisbodydefiant，sleepy，excited。Hismouthwasobstinate，buthiseyesappealedtoheronthesceneofthecommonmarvellousexperiencethattheyhadjustenjoyed。

Shehuggedhim。

“Andyouwon’ttellalieagain，willyou，Jeremy，dear？“

“Oh，no！“Andthen，hurryingon：“Andwhentheoldwomantumbleddownthesteps，Mother，wasn’titlovely？AndthefairiesinDickWhittington’ssleep，andwhenthefurnitureallfellallovertheplace——“

Hewentslowlyupstairstothenursery，thehappiestboyinthekingdom。Butthroughallhishappinesstherewasthispuzzle：UncleSamuelhadtoldalie，andnoonehadthoughtthatitmattered。

Thereweregoodliesandbadonesthen。Orwasitthatgrown-uppeoplecouldtellliesandchildrenmustn’t？……

Hetumbledintothewarm，lightednurseryhalfasleep。TherewasHamletwatchinginfrontoftheJampot’ssewingmachine。

Hewouldhavethingstothinkaboutforyearsandyearsandyears……

TherewastheJampot。

“I’msorryIcalledyouabeastlywoman，“hesaid。

Shesniffed。

“Well，Ihopeyou’llbeagoodboynow，“shesaid。

“Oh，I’llbegood，“hesmiled。“But，Nurse，aretheresomepeoplecantellliesandothersmustn’t？“

“AllthemthattellliesgoestoHell，“saidtheJampot。“Andnow，MasterJeremy，comealongandtakeyourthingsoff。It’spasteleven，andwhatyou’llbeliketo-morrow——“

CHAPTERIV

MISSJONES

I

ThecomingofthenewyearmeantthegoingoftheJampot，andthegoingoftheJampotmeantthebreakingofalife-time’straditions。

Thedeparturewasdepressingandunsettling；theweatherwas——asitalwaysisduringJanuaryinGlebeshire——atitsworst，andtheJampot，feelingitallverydeeply，maintainedaterribleSpartancomposure，whichwasmeanttoshowindifferenceandasenseofinjustice。Shehadtotheverylastbelieveditincrediblethatsheshouldreallygo。ShehadbeenintheoldOrangeStreethouseforeightyears，andhadintendedtobethereuntilshedied。ShewasforcedtoadmitthatMasterJeremywasgoingbeyondher；butinSeptemberhewouldgotoschool，andthenshecouldhelpwiththesewingandotherthingsaboutthehouse。Therealtruthofthematterwasthatshehadneverbeenaverygoodservant，havingtoomuchoftheGlebeshireprideandindependenceandtoolittleoftheGlebeshirefidelity。

Mrs。ColehadbeengladoftheopportunitythatHamlet’sarrivalinthefamilyhadgivenher。TheJampot，onlyaweekbeforethedateofherdeparture，cametohermistressandbegged，withfloodsoftears，tobeallowedtocontinueinherservice。ButMrs。Cole，withallherplacidity，wasfirm。TheJampothadtogo。

IwouldliketopaintapleasantpictureofthesentimentoftheColechildrenonthistouchingoccasion；something，perhaps，intheveinoftragi-comedywithwhichMr。KennethGrahamembroidersasimilaroccasioninhisfamousmasterpiece——butinthiscasetherewasverylittlesentimentandnotragedyatall。Theydidnotthinkoftheeventbeforehand，andthenwhenitsuddenlyoccurredtherewasalltheexcitementofbeinglookedafterbyRose，thehousemaid，ofhavingalongertimewiththeirmotherintheevening，and，bestofall，adelightfulwalkwithAuntAmy，whosevirginalpeaceofmindtheyattackedfromeverypossiblequarter。

TheJampotleftinahighstateofsulks，declaringtothekitchenthatnowomanhadeverbeensounfairlytreated；thathermarriedsisterSarahFrancis，ofRafiel，withwhomshewasnowtolive，shouldbetoldallaboutit，andthatthecitizensofRafielshouldbecompelledtosympathise。Thechildrenwerenotunfeeling，buttheyhatedtheJampot’ssulks，andwhileshewaitedinthenursery，longingforawordormovementofaffection，butwearingafaceofstonydisapproval，theystoodawkwardlybeholdingher，andachingforhertogo。ShewasthemoreunapproachableinthatsheworeherSundaysilksandaheavyblackbonnetwithshinyrattlingglobesofsomedarkmetalthatnoddedandbeckedandbowedlikelivethings。

Hamlet，whohad，ofcourse，alwayshatedtheJampot，barkedatthisbonnetfuriously，andwouldhavebittenatithaditbeenwithinhisreach。Shehadmeanttoleavethemallwithlittlesentencesaboutlifeandmorals；butthenoiseofthedog，theindifferenceofthechildren，andthegeneralairofimpatienceforherdeparturestrangledheraphorisms。PoorJampot！Shewasdepartingtoamarriedsisterwhodidnotwanther，andwouldoftentellherso；herprospectsinlifewerenotbright，anditissadtothinkthatnoinhabitantoftheOrangeStreethousefeltanysorrowatthesightofthelastgesticulatingwaveofherblackbonnetasshesteppedintotheoldmouldyPolchestercab。

“TheKingisdead——longlivetheKing！“TheJampotasapowerintheColefamilyhasceasedtobe。

ThedayfollowingtheJampot’sdepartureofferedupthenewsthat，forthefirsttimeinthehistoryoftheColes，therewastobeagoverness。Theword“governess“hadanawfulsound，andthechildrentrembledwithamixtureofdelightandterror。Jeremypretendedindifference。

“It’sonlyanotherwoman，“hesaid。“She’llbeliketheJampot——

only，alady，soshewon’tbeabletopunishusastheJampotcould。“

IexpectthatMr。andMrs。Colehadgreatdifficultyinfindinganyonewhowoulddo。Thirtyyearsagogovernesseswereanincapablerace，andbelongedtoocloselyeithertotheBeckySharportheAmeliatypetobeverysatisfactory。ItwasthenthattheNewWomanwasburstinguponthescene，butshewasnottobefoundamongstthegovernesses。NooneinPolchesterhadlearntyettocycleinrationalcostume，itwasseveralyearsbeforethepublicationof“TheHeavenlyTwins，“andMr。Trollope’sLilysandLucyswerestillconsideredtheidealofEngland’smaidenhood。Mrs。Cole，therefore，hadtochoosebetweenidioticyoungwomenandcrabbedoldmaids，andshefinallychoseanoldmaid。Idon’tthinkthatMissJoneswastheverybestchoicethatshecouldhavemade，buttimewasshort。

Jeremy，aidedbyHamlet，wasgrowingterriblyindependent，andMr。

Colehadneitherthehumournorthecouragetodealwithhim。No，MissJoneswasnotideal，buttheDeanhadstronglyrecommendedher。

ItistruethattheDeanhadneverseenher，butherbrother，withwhomshehadlivedformanyyears，hadoncebeentheDean’scurate。

Itwastruethathehadbeenafailureasacurate，butthatmadetheDeanthemoreanxioustobekindnowtohismemory，he——Mr。