Jeremy

第15章

MissJones,hervoicetrembling:“Children,Ireallyinsist——“Andmorebooksdropped,andmorewhispersandmoreprotests,andsoonadinfinitum。Abeautifulgametobeplayedallthemorning。

OrtherewasthegameofNotHearing。MissJoneswouldsay:“Andtwicetwoarefour。“Marywouldrepeatloudly:“Andtwicetwoisfive——“

“Four,Mary。“

“Oh,Ithoughtyousaidfive。“

AndthenasecondlaterJeremywouldask:

“Didyousayfourorfive,MissJones?“

“ItoldMaryIsaidfour——“

“Oh,I’vewrittenfive——andnowit’sallwrong。Didn’tyouwritefive,Mary?“

“Yes,I’vewrittenfive。Youdidsayfour,didn’tyou,MissJones?“

“Yes——yes。Andthreemakes——“

“Whatdidyousaymadefive?“askedJeremy。

“Ididn’tsayfive。Isaidfour。Twicetwo。“

“Isthataswellas’addthree,’MissJones?I’vegottwicetwo,andthenaddthree,andthentwicetwo——“

“No,no。IwasonlytellingJeremy——“

“Please,MissJones,wouldyoumindbeginningagain——“

Thisisaveryunpleasantgameforaladywithneuralgia。

OrthereisthegameofMakingaNoise。Atthisgame,withoutanyearliertrainingorpractice,Jeremywasaperfectmaster。Thethreechildrenwouldbesittingtherevery,veryquiet,learningthefirstverseof“Tiger,Tiger,burningbright——“Averygentlecreakingsoundwouldbreakthestillness——acreakingsoundthatcanbemade,ifyouareclever,byrubbingabootagainstaboot。Itwouldnotcomeregularly,butonce,twice,thrice,apause,andthenonce,twiceandanotherpause。

“Who’smakinganoise?“

Deadsilence。Averylongpause,andthenitwouldbeginagain。

“Thatnoisemustcease,Isay。Jeremy,whatareyoudoing?“

Hewouldlifttohertheneyesfullofmeeknessandlove。

“Nothing,MissJones。“

Soonitwouldbeginagain。MissJoneswouldbesilentthistime,andthenMarywouldspeak。

“Please,wouldyouaskJeremynottorubhisbootstogether?Ican’tlearnmyverse——“

“Ididn’tknowIwas,“saysJeremy。

Thenitwouldbeginagain。Jeremywouldsay:

“Please,mayItakemybootsoff?“

“Takeyourbootsoff?Why?“

“Theywillrubtogether,andIcan’tstopthem,becauseIdon’tknowwhenIdoit,anditishardforMary——“

“Ofcoursenot!Ineverheardofsuchathing!Nexttimeyoudoityoumuststandonyourchair。“

SoonJeremyisstandingonhischair。Soonhispoetrybookdropswithaterriblecrashtotheground,andfivemillionpinsstabMissJones’sheart。Withwhitefaceandtremblinghands,shesays:

“Goandstandinthecorner,Jeremy!Ishallhavetospeaktoyourmother!“

Hegoes,grinningatMary,andstandsthereknowingthathisvictimiswatchingthedoorinanagonylestMrs。ColeshouldsuddenlycomeinandinquirewhatJeremyhaddone,andthatsothewholestoryofhisinsubordinationberevealedandMissJoneslosehersituationforincapacity。

HowdidhediscoverthisfinalweaknessofMissJones?Noonetoldhim;butheknew,and,asthedayspassed,rejoicedinhispowerandhismightandhisglory。

Thencametheclimax。Thechildrenwerenotperfectlysurewhether,afterall,MissJonesmightnottelltheirmother。Theydidnotwishthistohappen,andsolongasthiscalamitywaspossibletheywerenotcompletemastersofthepoorlady。Thencameamorningwhentheyhadbeenextremelynaughty,wheneverygamehadbeenplayedandeverytriumphscored。MissJones,almostintears,hadthreatenedfourtimesthatthePowersAboveshouldbeinformed。SuddenlyMrs。

Coleentered。

“Well,MissJones,howhavethechildrenbeenthismorning?Ifthey’vebeengoodIhavealittletreattopropose。“

Thechildrenwaited,theireyesupontheirgoverness。Hereyesstaredbackuponhertormentors。Herhandsworkedtogether。Shestruggled。WhynotcallinMrs。Cole’sauthoritytoheraid?No;sheknewwhatitwouldmean——“I’mverysorry,MissJones,butIthinkayoungergoverness,perhaps——“

Herthroatmoved。

“They’vebeenverygoodthismorning,Mrs。Cole。“

TheeyesofMaryandofJeremywerealightwithtriumph。

Theyhadwontheirfinalvictory。

III

IknowwhatMissJonessufferedduringthoseweeks。Shewasnotanoldladyofverygreatpowerofresistance,anditmusthavepositivelyterrifiedherthatthesesmallchildrenshouldsovindictivelyhateher。Shecouldnothaveseenitasanythingbuthatred,beingentirelyignorantofchildrenandthestrangeforcestowhosepowertheyaresubject,andshemusthaveshiveredinherbedroomatthedrearinessandterroroftheprospectbeforeher。

Many,manytimesshemusthaveresolvednottobebeaten,andmany,manytimesshemusthaveadmittedherselfbeatenasbadlyasanyonecanbe。

Herlifewiththepeopledownstairswasnotintimateenough,norwerethosepeoplethemselvesperceptiveenoughforanyrealisationofwhatwasoccurringtopenetrate。

“Ihopeyou’rehappywiththechildren,MissJones,“onceortwicesaidMrs。Cole。

“Very,thankyou,“saidMissJones。

“They’regoodchildren,Ithink,althoughparentsarealwaysprejudiced,ofcourse。Jeremyisalittledifficultperhaps。It’ssohardtotellwhathe’sreallythinking。Youfindhimaquiet,reservedlittleboy?“

“Very,“saidMissJones。

“Inalittlewhile,whenyouknowhimbetter,hewillcomeout。Onlyyouhavetolethimtakehistime。Hedoesn’tliketobeforced——“

“No,“saidMissJones。

Meanwhile,thatmorningdescentintotheschoolroomwasrealhellforher。Shehadtosummonuphercourage,walkingaboutherbedroom,pressingherhandstogether,evokingthememoryofhermagnificentiron-souledbrother,whowould,sheknew,despisesuchtremors。Ifonlyshecouldhavediscoveredsomeremedy!Butsentiment,attemptedtyranny,anger,contempt,atallthesethingstheylaughed。Shecouldnottouchthemanywhere。AndshesawJeremyasarealchildofEvilintheverybaldestsense。Shecouldnotimaginehowanyonesoyoungcouldbesocruel,soheartless,somaliciouslycleverinhiselaboratemachinations。Sheregardedhimwithrealhorror,andontheoccasionswhenshefoundhimactingkindlytowardshissistersoraservant,orwhenshewatchedhimdiscoursingsolemnlytoHamlet,shewashelplesslypuzzled,anddecidedthatthesebettermanifestationsweresimplymaskstohidehisdevilishyoungheart。Sheperceivedmeanwhiletheinevitablecrisisslowlyapproaching,whenshewouldbecompelledtoinviteMrs。Cole’ssupport。Thatwouldmeanherdismissalandahopelessfuture。Therewasnoonetowhomshemightturn。Shehadnotarelation,notafriend——toolatetomakefriendsnow。

Shecouldseenothinginfrontofheratall。

Thecrisisdidcome,butnotassheexpectedit。

Therearrivedamorningwhenthedarkmistoutsideandbadlymadeporridgeinsidetemptedthechildrentotheirveryworst。MissJoneshadhadawakefulnightstrugglingwithneuralgiaandherownhesitatingspirit。Thechildrenhadlosteventheircustomaryhalf-

humourous,half-contemptuousreserve。Theyletthemselvesappearforwhattheywere——infantsavagesdiscontentedwithfood,weatherandeducation。

Iwillnotdetailtheincidentsofthatmorning。Theepisodesthatwereonothermorningsgamesweretodaytortures。TherewastheTortureofLosingThings,theTortureofNotHearing,theTortureofManyNoises,theTortureofSuddenAlarm,theTortureofOutrightDefiance,theTortureofExpressedContempt。Whentwelvestruckandthechildrenwerefree,MissJoneswasnotfarfromanervouspanicthatcanbecalled,withoutanyexaggeration,incipientmadness。Theneuralgiatoreatherbrain,herownself-contempttoreatherheart,herbaffledimpotencebewilderedandblindedher。Shedidnotleavetheschoolroomwiththechildren,butwenttothebroadwindow-sillandsattherelookingoutintothedrearyprospect。

Then,suddenlyfornoreasonexceptgeneralweaknessandphysicalandspiritualcollapseshebegantocry。

Jeremywasconsideredtohaveacold,andwas,therefore,notpermittedtoaccompanyhismotherandsistersonanexcitingshoppingexpedition,whichwouldcertainlyleadasfarasoldPoole’s,thebookseller,andmightevenextendtoMartins’,thepastrycook,whomadelemonbiscuitsnextdoortotheCathedral。Hewas,therefore,inaverybadtemperindeedwhenhereturnedsulkilytotheschoolroom。Hestoodforamomentthereunawarethattherewasanybodyintheroom,hesitatingastowhetherheshouldcontinue“AFlatIronforaFarthing“orhuntupHamlet。Suddenlyheheardthesoundofsobbing。HeturnedandsawMissJones。

Hewouldhavefledhadflightbeeninanywaypossible,butshehadlookedupandseenhim,andhersuddenarrestedsniffheldthemboththereasthoughbysomethirdinvisiblepower。Hesawthatshewascrying;hesawherrednose,mottledcheeks,untidyhair。Itwasthemostawfulmomentofhisyounglife。Hehadneverseenagrown-uppersoncrybefore;hehadnoideathattheyeverdidcry。Hehad,indeed,neverrealisedthatgrown-uppersonshadanyactivehistoriesatall,anyhistoriesinthesenseinwhichheandMaryhadthem。Theywereallabackground,simplyabackgroundthatblewbackwardsandforwardsliketapestryaccordingtoone’sneedofthem。HistortureofMissJoneshadbeenfoundedonnosortofrealisationofherasahumanbeing;shehadbeenasillyoldwoman,ofcourse,butjustasthebatteredweather-beatenAuntSallyinthegardenwasasillyoldwoman。

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