Jeremy

第9章

Itwasdifficultinthosedaystofind“treats“inPolchester。

“Oh,doyouthinkthey’dletus?“shesaid,hereyeswide。

“Wecantry,“saidJeremy。“IheardAuntAmysaytheotherdaythatshedidn’tthinkitwasrightforchildrentoseeacting,andMotheralwaysdoestheoppositetowhatAuntAmysays,sop’r’apsitwillbeallright。IwishHamletcouldgo,“headded。

“Don’tbesilly!“saidHelen。

“Itisn’tsilly,“Jeremysaidindignantly。“It’sallaboutacat,anyway,andhe’dlovetoseealltheratsandthings。Hewouldn’tbarkifwetoldhimnotto,andIheldhiscollar。“

“IfAuntAmysatnexthimhewould,“saidMary。

“Oh,botherAuntAmy,“saidJeremy。

AfterthisHelenneededagreatdealofurging;butsheheardthatLucyandAngela,theaforesaiddaughtersoftheDean,weregoing,andthespiritofrivalrydroveherforward。

IthappenedthattheDeanhimselfonedaysaidsomethingtoMr。Coleabout“supportingaverypraiseworthyeffort。Theyarepresenting,I

understand,theproceedsofthefirstperformancetotheCathedralOrphanage。“

Helenwassurprisedatthereadinesswithwhichherrequestwasgranted。

“We’llallgo,“saidMr。Cole,inhisgenial,pastoralfashion。

“Goodforus……goodforus……toseethelittleoneslaugh……goodforusall。“

OnlyUncleSamuelsaid“thatnothingwouldinducehim——“

II

IpassswiftlyoverChristmasEve,ChristmasDay,andthedayafter,althoughIshouldliketolingeruponthesesumptuousdates。Jeremyhadasumptuoustime;Hamlethadasumptuoustime(awholesugarrat,platesandplatesofbones,andashoeofAuntAmy’s);MaryandHelenhadsumptuoustimesintheirownfemininefashion。

UpontheeveningofChristmasEve,whentheearthwassnow-lit,andthestreet-lampssparkledwithcrystals,andtherimeonthedoorstepscrackledbeneathone’sfeet,Jeremyaccompaniedhismotheronapresent-leavingexpedition。Theexcitementofthat!Thewonderfulshapesandsizesoftheparcels,themysteriousstreets,thedoor-handlesandthedoor-bells,theglitteringstars,themaidservants,thesenseofthelightedhouse,asthoughvouopenedaboxfullofexcitementsandthenhurriedlyshuttheliddownagain。

Jeremytrembledandshook,notwithcold,butwithexalting,completelysatisfyinghappiness。

TherefollowedtheStocking,theWaits,theCarols,theTurkey,theChristmasCake,theTree,thePresents,Snapdragon,Bed……TherefollowedHeadache,Ill-temper,SmackingofMary,AfternoonWalk,GoodTemperagain,CompleteWeariness,HamletsickontheGoldenCockatoos,HamletBeaten,FiveminuteswithMotherdownstairs,Bed……Christmaswasover。

FromthatmomentofthepassingofBoxingDayitwassimplythecountingoftheminutesto“DickWhittington。“SixdaysfromBoxingDay。Sayyousleptfromeighttoseven——elevenhours;thatleftthirteenhours;sixthirteenhourswas,soHelensaid,seventy-

eight。Seventy-eighthours,andSundaytwiceaslongastheotherdays,andthatmadethirteenmore;ninety-one,saidHelen,hernoseintheair。

Theweekdraggedalong,verydifficultworkforeverybody,andevenHamletfelttheexcitementandwatchedhiscornerwiththeJampot’ssewingmachineinitwithmorequiveringintensitythanever。TheDayBeforeTheDayarrived,theeveningbeforeTheDay,thelastsupperbeforeTheDay,thelastbedbeforeTheDay……Suddenly,likeaJack-in-the-Box,TheDayitself。

Thentheawfulthinghappened。

Jeremyawoketotheconsciousnessthatsomethingterrificwasabouttooccur。Helayforaminutethinking——thenhewasup,runningaboutthenurseryfloorasthoughhewereayoungmaninMr。

Rossetti’spoetryshouting:“Helen!Mary!Mary!Helen!……It’sDickWhittington!DickWhittington!“

Onsuchoccasionshelostentirelyhisnaturalreserveandcaution。

Hedressedwithimmensespeed,asthoughthatwouldhastenthecomingoftheevening。Heranintothenursery,carryingtheblacktiethatwentunderhissailor-collar。

HehelditouttotheJampot,whoeyedhimwithdisfavour。Shewasleavingthemallinaweekandwasastrangeconfusionofsentimentandbadtemper,loveandhatred,woundedprideandinjureddignity。

“Nurse。Please。Fastenit,“hesaidimpatiently。

“Andthat’snotthewaytospeak,MasterJeremy,andwellyouknowit,“shesaid。“’Aveyoucleanedyourteeth?“

“Yes,“heansweredwithouthesitation。Itwasnotuntilthewordwasspokenthatherealisedthathehadnot。Heflushed。TheJampoteyedhimwithasuddensharpsuspicion。Hewasthenandeverafterwardsaverybadhandatalie……

Hewouldhavetakenthewordback,hewantedtotakeitback——butsomethingheldhimasthoughastrongerthanhehadplacedhishandoverhismouth。Hisfaceflamed。

“You’vetrulycleanedthem?“shesaid。

“Yes,truly,“heanswered,hiseyesontheground。Neverwasthereamoreobviousliarinalltheworld。

Shesaidnomore;hemovedtothefireplace。Hisjoywasgone。Therewasacoldclammysensationabouthisheart。Slowly,veryslowly,theconsciousnessstoleuponhimthathewasaliar。Hehadnotthoughtitaliewhenhehadfirstspoken,nowheknew。

Stilltherewastime。Hadheturnedroundandspoken,allmightstillhavebeenwell。Butnowobstinacyheldhim。HewasnotgoingtogivetheJampotanopportunityfortriumphingoverhim。Afterall,hewouldcleanthemsosoonasshewenttobrushHelen’shair。

Inamomentwhathehadsaidwouldbetrue。

Buthewasmiserable。Hamletcameupfromthenetherregionswherehehadspentthenight,showinghisteeth,wagginghistail,andevenrollingonthecockatoos。Jeremypaidnoattention。Theweightinhisheartgrewheavierandheavier。Hewatched,fromunderhiseyelids,theJampot。InamomentshemustgointoHelen’sroom。Butshedidnot。Shestayedforalittlearrangingthethingsonthebreakfast-table——thensuddenly,withoutaword,sheturnedintoJeremy’sbedchamber。Hisheartbegantohammer。Therewasanawfulpause;heheardfrommilesawayMary’svoice:“Dodothatbutton,Helen,Ican’tgetit!“andHelen’s“Oh,bother!“

Then,likeJudgment,theJampotappearedagain。Shestoodinthedoorway,lookingacrossathim。

“You’avenotcleanedyourteeth,MasterJeremy,“shesaid。“Theglassisn’ttouched,noryourtoothbrush……Youwicked,wickedboy。Soit’saliaryou’vebecome,addedontoallyourotherwickedness。“

“Iforgot,“hemutteredsullenly。“IthoughtIhad。“

Shesmiledthesmileofapproachingtriumph。

“No,youdidnot,“shesaid。“Youknewyou’dtoldalie。Itwasinyourface。Allofapiece——allofapiece。“

Thewayshesaidthis,likeapiratecountingoverhiscapturedtreasure,wasenraging。Jeremycouldfeelthewildfuryathimself,ather,atthestupidblunderofthewholebusinessrisingtohisthroat。

“IfyouthinkI’mgoingtoletthispassyou’remakingamightymistake,“shecontinued,“whichIwouldn’tdonotifyoupaidmeallthegoldinthekingdom。Imayn’tbegoodenoughtokeepmyplaceandlookaftersuchasyou,butanywaysI’mabletostopyourlyingforanotherweekortwo。Iknowmydutyeventhoughthere’sthemasthinksIdon’t。“

Shepositivelysnorted,andtheexcitementofherownvindicationandthejustcondemnationofJeremywassuchthatherhandstrembled。

“Idon’tcarewhatyoudo,“Jeremyshouted。“Youcantellanyoneyoulike。Idon’tcarewhatyoudo。You’reabeastlywoman。“

Sheturneduponhim,herfacepurple。“That’senough,MasterJeremy,“shesaid,hervoicelowandtrembling。“I’mnotheretobecallednamesbysuchasyou。You’llbesorryforthisbeforeyou’remucholder……Yousee。“

Therewasthenanawfulandsicklypause。Jeremyseemedtohimselftobesinkinglowerandlowerintoadampclammydepthofdegradation。Whatmustthisworldbethatitcouldchangeitselfsoinstantlyfromaplaceofgayandhappypleasureintoadimgropingroomofpunishmentanddismay?

Hisfeelingswereutterlyconfused。Hesupposedthathewasterriblywicked。Buthedidnotfeelwicked。Heonlyfeltmiserable,sickanddefiant。MaryandHelencamein,theireyesopentoacrisis,theirbodiestunedsympatheticallytotheatmosphereofsinandcrimethattheydiscernedaroundthem。

ThenMr。Colecameinaswashisdailyhabit——foramomentbeforehisbreakfast。

“Well,hereareyouall,“hecried。“Readyforto-night?Nobreakfastyet?Why,now……?“

Thenperceiving,asallpractisedfathersinstantlymust,thattheatmospherewassinful,hechangedhisvoicetothatoftheChildren’sSundayAfternoonService——avoicewellknowninhisfamily。

“Please,sir,“begantheJampot,“I’msorryto’avetotellyou,sir,thatMasterJeremy’snotbeenatallgoodthismorning。“

“Well,Jeremy,“hesaid,turningtohisson,“whatisit?“

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