第15章

ButcheredtomakeaRomanholidaysoundswellforthefirstseventeenoreighteenhundredthousandtimesoneseesitinprint，butafterthatitbeginstogrowtiresome。IfinditinallthebooksconcerningRome——andherelatterlyitremindsmeofJudgeOliver。Oliverwasayounglawyer，freshfromtheschools，whohadgoneouttothedesertsofNevadatobeginlife。Hefoundthatcountry，andourwaysoflife，there，inthoseearlydays，differentfromlifeinNewEnglandorParis。Butheputonawoollenshirtandstrappedanavyrevolvertohisperson，tooktothebaconandbeansofthecountry，anddeterminedtodoinNevadaasNevadadid。Oliveracceptedthesituationsocompletelythatalthoughhemusthavesorrowedovermanyofhistrials，henevercomplained——thatis，henevercomplainedbutonce。He，twoothers，andmyself，startedtothenewsilverminesintheHumboldtmountains——hetobeProbateJudgeofHumboldtcounty，andwetomine。Thedistancewastwohundredmiles。Itwasdeadofwinter。

Weboughtatwo—horsewagonandputeighteenhundredpoundsofbacon，flour，beans，blasting—powder，picksandshovelsinit;weboughttwosorry—lookingMexican"plugs，"withthehairturnedthewrongwayandmorecornersontheirbodiesthanthereareonthemosqueofOmar;wehitchedupandstarted。

Itwasadreadfultrip。ButOliverdidnotcomplain。Thehorsesdraggedthewagontwomilesfromtownandthengaveout。Thenwethreepushedthewagonsevenmiles，andOlivermovedaheadandpulledthehorsesafterhimbythebits。Wecomplained，butOliverdidnot。Thegroundwasfrozen，anditfrozeourbackswhileweslept;thewindsweptacrossourfacesandfrozeournoses。Oliverdidnotcomplain。Fivedaysofpushingthewagonbydayandfreezingbynightbroughtustothebadpartofthejourney——theFortyMileDesert，ortheGreatAmericanDesert，ifyouplease。Still，thismildest—manneredmanthateverwas，hadnotcomplained。Westartedacrossateightinthemorning，pushingthroughsandthathadnobottom;

toilingalldaylongbythewrecksofathousandwagons，theskeletonsoftenthousandoxen;bywagon—tiresenoughtohooptheWashingtonMonumenttothetop，andox—chainsenoughtogirdleLongIsland;byhumangraves;

withourthroatsparchedalways，withthirst;lipsbleedingfromthealkalidust;hungry，perspiring，andvery，veryweary——sowearythatwhenwedroppedinthesandeveryfiftyyardstorestthehorses，wecouldhardlykeepfromgoingtosleep——nocomplaintsfromOliver:nonethenextmorningatthreeo\'clock，whenwegotacross，tiredtodeath。

Awakenedtwoorthreenightsafterwardatmidnight，inanarrowcanon，bythesnowfallingonourfaces，andappalledattheimminentdangerofbeing"snowedin，"weharnessedupandpushedontilleightinthemorning，passedthe"Divide"andknewweweresaved。Nocomplaints。Fifteendaysofhardshipandfatiguebroughtustotheendofthetwohundredmiles，andtheJudgehadnotcomplained。Wewonderedifanythingcouldexasperatehim。WebuiltaHumboldthouse。Itisdoneinthisway。Youdigasquareinthesteepbaseofthemountain，andsetuptwouprightsandtopthemwithtwojoists。Thenyoustretchagreatsheetof"cottondomestic"fromthepointwherethejoistsjointhehill—sidedownoverthejoiststotheground;thismakestheroofandthefrontofthemansion;thesidesandbackarethedirtwallsyourdigginghasleft。Achimneyiseasilymadebyturninguponecorneroftheroof。Oliverwassittingaloneinthisdismalden，onenight，byasage—brushfire，writingpoetry;hewasveryfondofdiggingpoetryoutofhimself——orblastingitoutwhenitcamehard。Heheardananimal\'sfootstepsclosetotheroof;astoneortwoandsomedirtcamethroughandfellbyhim。Hegrewuneasyandsaid"Hi！

——clearoutfromthere，can\'tyou！"——fromtimetotime。Butbyandbyhefellasleepwherehesat，andprettysoonamulefelldownthechimney！

Thefireflewineverydirection，andOliverwentoverbackwards。Abouttennightsafterthat，herecoveredconfidenceenoughtogotowritingpoetryagain。Againhedozedofftosleep，andagainamulefelldownthechimney。Thistime，abouthalfofthatsideofthehousecameinwiththemule。Strugglingtogetup，themulekickedthecandleoutandsmashedmostofthekitchenfurniture，andraisedconsiderabledust。TheseviolentawakeningsmusthavebeenannoyingtoOliver，buthenevercomplained。

Hemovedtoamansionontheoppositesideofthecanon，becausehehadnoticedthemulesdidnotgothere。Onenightabouteighto\'clockhewasendeavoringtofinishhispoem，whenastonerolledin——thenahoofappearedbelowthecanvas——thenpartofacow——theafterpart。Heleanedbackindread，andshouted"Hooy！hooy！getoutofthis！"andthecowstruggledmanfully——lostgroundsteadily——dirtandduststreameddown，andbeforeOlivercouldgetwellaway，theentirecowcrashedthroughontothetableandmadeashapelesswreckofeverything！

Then，forthefirsttimeinhislife，Ithink，Olivercomplained。Hesaid，"Thisthingisgrowingmonotonous！"

ThenheresignedhisjudgeshipandleftHumboldtcounty。"ButcheredtomakeaRomanholiday"hasgrownmonotonoustome。

InthisconnectionIwishtosayonewordaboutMichaelAngeloBuonarotti。

IusedtoworshipthemightygeniusofMichaelAngelo——thatmanwhowasgreatinpoetry，painting，sculpture，architecture——greatineverythingheundertook。ButIdonotwantMichaelAngeloforbreakfast——forluncheon——fordinner——fortea——forsupper——forbetweenmeals。Ilikeachange，occasionally。InGenoa，hedesignedeverything;inMilanheorhispupilsdesignedeverything;hedesignedtheLakeofComo;inPadua，Verona，Venice，Bologna，whodidweeverhearof，fromguides，butMichaelAngelo？InFlorence，hepaintedeverything，designedeverything，nearly，andwhathedidnotdesignheusedtositonafavoritestoneandlookat，andtheyshowedusthestone。InPisahedesignedeverythingbuttheoldshot—tower，andtheywouldhaveat—tributedthattohimifithadnotbeensoawfullyoutoftheperpendicular。HedesignedthepiersofLeghornandthecustomhouseregulationsofCivitaVecchia。But，here——hereitisfrightful。

HedesignedSt。Peter\'s;hedesignedthePope;hedesignedthePantheon，theuniformofthePope\'ssoldiers，theTiber，theVatican，theColiseum，theCapitol，theTarpeianRock，theBarberiniPalace，St。JohnLateran，theCampagna，theAppianWay，theSevenHills，theBathsofCaracalla，theClaudianAqueduct，theCloacaMaxima——theeternalboredesignedtheEternalCity，andunlessallmenandbooksdolie，hepaintedeverythinginit！Dansaidtheotherdaytotheguide，"Enough，enough，enough！Saynomore！Lumpthewholething！saythattheCreatormadeItalyfromdesignsbyMichaelAngelo！"

Ineverfeltsoferventlythankful，sosoothed，sotranquil，sofilledwithablessedpeace，asIdidyesterdaywhenIlearnedthatMichaelAngelowasdead。

Butwehavetakenitoutofthisguide。HehasmarchedusthroughmilesofpicturesandsculptureinthevastcorridorsoftheVatican;andthroughmilesofpicturesandsculptureintwentyotherpalaces;hehasshownusthegreatpictureintheSistineChapel，andfrescoesenoughtofrescoetheheavens——prettymuchalldonebyMichaelAngelo。Sowithhimwehaveplayedthatgamewhichhasvanquishedsomanyguidesforus——imbecilityandidioticquestions。Thesecreaturesneversuspect——theyhavenoideaofasarcasm。

Heshowsusafigureandsays:"Statoobrunzo。"（Bronzestatue。）

Welookatitindifferentlyandthedoctorasks:"ByMichaelAngelo？"

"No——notknowwho。"

ThenheshowsustheancientRomanForum。Thedoctorasks:"MichaelAngelo？"

Astarefromtheguide。"No——thousan\'yearbeforeheisborn。"

ThenanEgyptianobelisk。Again:"MichaelAngelo？"

"Oh，mondieu，genteelmen！Zisistwothousan\'yearbeforeheisborn！"

Hegrowssotiredofthatunceasingquestionsometimes，thathedreadstoshowusanythingatall。ThewretchhastriedallthewayshecanthinkoftomakeuscomprehendthatMichaelAngeloisonlyresponsibleforthecreationofapartoftheworld，butsomehowhehasnotsucceededyet。

Reliefforovertaskedeyesandbrainfromstudyandsightseeingisnecessary，orweshallbecomeidioticsureenough。Thereforethisguidemustcontinuetosuffer。Ifhedoesnotenjoyit，somuchtheworseforhim。Wedo。

InthisplaceImayaswelljotdownachapterconcerningthosenecessarynuisances，Europeanguides。Manyamanhaswishedinhishearthecoulddowithouthisguide;butknowinghecouldnot，haswishedhecouldgetsomeamusementoutofhimasaremunerationfortheafflictionofhissociety。

Weaccomplishedthislattermatter，andifourexperiencecanbemadeusefultootherstheyarewelcometoit。

GuidesknowaboutenoughEnglishtotangleeverythingupsothatamancanmakeneitherheadortailofit。Theyknowtheirstorybyheart——thehistoryofeverystatue，painting，cathedralorotherwondertheyshowyou。Theyknowitandtellitasaparrotwould——andifyouinterrupt，andthrowthemoffthetrack，theyhavetogobackandbeginoveragain。

Alltheirliveslong，theyareemployedinshowingstrangethingstoforeignersandlisteningtotheirburstsofadmiration。Itishumannaturetotakedelightinexcitingadmiration。Itiswhatpromptschildrentosay"smart"

things，anddoabsurdones，andinotherways"showoff"whencompanyispresent。Itiswhatmakesgossipsturnoutinrainandstormtogoandbethefirsttotellastartlingbitofnews。Think，then，whatapassionitbecomeswithaguide，whoseprivilegeitis，everyday，toshowtostrangerswondersthatthrowthemintoperfectecstasiesofadmiration！Hegetssothathecouldnotbyanypossibilityliveinasobereratmosphere。Afterwediscoveredthis，weneverwentintoecstaciesanymore——weneveradmiredanything——wenevershowedanybutimpassiblefacesandstupidindifferenceinthepresenceofthesublimestwondersaguidehadtodisplay。Wehadfoundtheirweakpoint。Wehavemadegooduseofiteversince。Wehavemadesomeofthosepeoplesavage，attimes，butwehaveneverlostourownserenity。

Thedoctorasksthequestions，generally，becausehecankeephiscountenance，andlookmorelikeaninspiredidiot，andthrowmoreimbecilityintothetoneofhisvoicethananymanthatlives。Itcomesnaturaltohim。

TheguidesinGenoaaredelightedtosecureanAmericanparty，becauseAmericanssomuchwonder，anddealsomuchinsentimentandemotionbeforeanyrelicofColumbus。Ourguidetherefidgetedaboutasifhehadswallowedaspringmattress。Hewasfullofanimation——fullofimpatience。Hesaid:

"Comewisme，genteelmen！——come！IshowyouzeletterwritingbyChristopherColombo！——writeithimself！——writeitwishisownhand！——come！"

Hetookustothemunicipalpalace。Aftermuchimpressivefumblingofkeysandopeningoflocks，thestainedandageddocumentwasspreadbeforeus。Theguide\'seyessparkled。Hedancedaboutusandtappedtheparchmentwithhisfinger:

"WhatItellyou，genteelmen！Isitnotso？See！handwritingChristopherColombo！——writeithimself！"

Welookedindifferent——unconcerned。Thedoctorexaminedthedocumentverydeliberately，duringapainfulpause。——Thenhesaid，withoutanyshowofinterest:

"Ah——Ferguson——what——whatdidyousaywasthenameofthepartywhowrotethis？"

"ChristopherColombo！zegreatChristopherColombo！"

Anotherdeliberateexamination。

"Ah——didhewriteithimself;or——orhow？"

"Hewriteithimself！——ChristopherColombo！He\'sownhand—writing，writebyhimself！"

Thenthedoctorlaidthedocumentdownandsaid:

"Why，IhaveseenboysinAmericaonlyfourteenyearsoldthatcouldwritebetterthanthat。"

"ButzisiszegreatChristo——"

"Idon\'tcarewhoitis！It\'stheworstwritingIeversaw。Nowyoumusn\'tthinkyoucanimposeonusbecausewearestrangers。Wearenotfools，byagooddeal。Ifyouhavegotanyspecimensofpenmanshipofrealmerit，trotthemout！——andifyouhaven\'t，driveon！"

Wedroveon。Theguidewasconsiderablyshakenup，buthemadeonemoreventure。Hehadsomethingwhichhethoughtwouldovercomeus。Hesaid:

"Ah，genteelmen，youcomewisme！Ishowyoubeautiful，O，magnificentbustChristopherColombo！——splendid，grand，magnificent！"

Hebroughtusbeforethebeautifulbust——foritwasbeautiful——andsprangbackandstruckanattitude:

"Ah，look，genteelmen！——beautiful，grand，——bustChristopherColombo！

——beautifulbust，beautifulpedestal！"

Thedoctorputuphiseye—glass——procuredforsuchoccasions:

"Ah——whatdidyousaythisgentleman\'snamewas？"

"ChristopherColombo！——zegreatChristopherColombo！"

"ChristopherColombo——thegreatChristopherColombo。Well，whatdidhedo？"

"DiscoverAmerica！——discoverAmerica，Oh，zedevil！"

"DiscoverAmerica。No——thatstatementwillhardlywash。WearejustfromAmericaourselves。Weheardnothingaboutit。ChristopherColombo——pleasantname——is——ishedead？"

"Oh，corpodiBaccho！——threehundredyear！"

"Whatdidhedieof？"

"Idonotknow！——Icannottell。"

"Small—pox，think？"

"Idonotknow，genteelmen！——Idonotknowwhathedieof！"

"Measles，likely？"

"Maybe——maybe——Idonotknow——Ithinkhedieofsomethings。"

"Parentsliving？"

"Im—poseeeble！"

"Ah——whichisthebustandwhichisthepedestal？"

"SantaMaria！——ziszebust！——ziszepedestal！"

"Ah，Isee，Isee——happycombination——veryhappycombination，indeed。

Is——isthisthefirsttimethisgentlemanwaseveronabust？"

Thatjokewaslostontheforeigner——guidescannotmasterthesubtletiesoftheAmericanjoke。

WehavemadeitinterestingforthisRomanguide。YesterdaywespentthreeorfourhoursintheVatican，again，thatwonderfulworldofcuriosities。

Wecameverynearexpressinginterest，sometimes——evenadmiration——

itwasveryhardtokeepfromit。Wesucceededthough。Nobodyelseeverdid，intheVaticanmuseums。Theguidewasbewildered——non—plussed。Hewalkedhislegsoff，nearly，huntingupextraordinarythings，andexhaustedallhisingenuityonus，butitwasafailure;wenevershowedanyinterestinanything。Hehadreservedwhatheconsideredtobehisgreatestwondertillthelast——aroyalEgyptianmummy，thebestpreservedintheworld，perhaps。Hetookusthere。Hefeltsosure，thistime，thatsomeofhisoldenthusiasmcamebacktohim:

"See，genteelmen！——Mummy！Mummy！"

Theeye—glasscameupascalmly，asdeliberatelyasever。

"Ah，——Ferguson——whatdidIunderstandyoutosaythegentleman\'snamewas？"

"Name？——hegotnoname！——Mummy！——\'Gyptianmummy！"

"Yes，yes。Bornhere？"

"No！\'Gyptianmummy！"

"Ah，justso。Frenchman，Ipresume？"

"No！——notFrenchman，notRoman！——borninEgypta！"

"BorninEgypta。NeverheardofEgyptabefore。Foreignlocality，likely。

Mummy——mummy。Howcalmheis——howself—possessed。Is，ah——ishedead？"

"Oh，sacrebleu，beendeadthreethousan\'year！"

Thedoctorturnedonhimsavagely:

"Here，now，whatdoyoumeanbysuchconductasthis！PlayingusforChinamenbecausewearestrangersandtryingtolearn！Tryingtoimposeyourvilesecond—handcarcassesonus！——thunderandlightning，I\'veanotionto——to——ifyou\'vegotanicefreshcorpse，fetchhimout！——orbyGeorgewe\'llbrainyou！"

WemakeitexceedinglyinterestingforthisFrenchman。However，hehaspaidusback，partly，withoutknowingit。Hecametothehotelthismorningtoaskifwewereup，andheendeavoredaswellashecouldtodescribeus，sothatthelandlordwouldknowwhichpersonshemeant。Hefinishedwiththecasualremarkthatwewerelunatics。Theobservationwassoinnocentandsohonestthatitamountedtoaverygoodthingforaguidetosay。

Thereisoneremark（alreadymentioned，）whichneveryethasfailedtodisgusttheseguides。Weuseitalways，whenwecanthinkofnothingelsetosay。Aftertheyhaveexhaustedtheirenthusiasmpointingouttousandpraisingthebeautiesofsomeancientbronzeimageorbroken—leggedstatue，welookatitstupidlyandinsilenceforfive，ten，fifteenminutes——aslongaswecanholdout，infact——andthenask:

"Is——ishedead？"

Thatconquerstheserenestofthem。Itisnotwhattheyarelookingfor——especiallyanewguide。OurRomanFergusonisthemostpatient，unsuspecting，long—sufferingsubjectwehavehadyet。Weshallbesorrytopartwithhim。Wehaveenjoyedhissocietyverymuch。Wetrusthehasenjoyedours，butweareharassedwithdoubts。

Wehavebeeninthecatacombs。Itwaslikegoingdownintoaverydeepcellar，onlyitwasacellarwhichhadnoendtoit。Thenarrowpassagesareroughlyhewnintherock，andoneachhandasyoupassalong，thehollowedshelvesarecarvedout，fromthreetofourteendeep;eachheldacorpseonce。Therearenames，andChristiansymbols，andprayers，orsentencesexpressiveofChristianhopes，carveduponnearlyeverysarcophagus。ThedatesbelongawaybackinthedawnoftheChristianera，ofcourse。Here，intheseholesintheground，thefirstChristianssometimesburrowedtoescapepersecution。Theycrawledoutatnighttogetfood，butremainedundercoverinthedaytime。ThepriesttoldusthatSt。Sebastianlivedundergroundforsometimewhilehewasbeinghunted;hewentoutoneday，andthesoldierydiscoveredandshothimtodeathwitharrows。FiveorsixoftheearlyPopes——thosewhoreignedaboutsixteenhundredyearsago——heldtheirpapalcourtsandadvisedwiththeirclergyinthebowelsoftheearth。Duringseventeenyears——fromA。D。235toA。D。252——

thePopesdidnotappearaboveground。Fourwereraisedtothegreatofficeduringthatperiod。Fouryearsapiece，orthereabouts。Itisverysuggestiveoftheunhealthinessofundergroundgraveyardsasplacesofresidence。

OnePopeafterwardspenthisentirepontificateinthecatacombs——eightyears。Anotherwasdiscoveredinthemandmurderedintheepiscopalchair。

TherewasnosatisfactioninbeingaPopeinthosedays。Thereweretoomanyannoyances。ThereareonehundredandsixtycatacombsunderRome，eachwithitsmazeofnarrowpassagescrossingandrecrossingeachotherandeachpassagewalledtothetopwithscoopedgravesitsentirelength。

Acarefulestimatemakesthelengthofthepassagesofallthecatacombscombinedfootupninehundredmiles，andtheirgravesnumbersevenmillions。

Wedidnotgothroughallthepassagesofallthecatacombs。Wewereveryanxioustodoit，andmadethenecessaryarrangements，butourtoolimitedtimeobligedustogiveuptheidea。SoweonlygropedthroughthedismallabyrinthofSt。Callixtus，undertheChurchofSt。Sebastian。Inthevariouscatacombsaresmallchapelsrudelyhewninthestones，andheretheearlyChristiansoftenheldtheirreligiousservicesbydim，ghostlylights。

Thinkofmassandasermonawaydowninthosetangledcavernsunderground！

InthecatacombswereburiedSt。Cecilia，St。Agnes，andseveralotherofthemostcelebratedofthesaints。InthecatacombofSt。Callixtus，St。Bridgetusedtoremainlonghoursinholycontemplation，andSt。CharlesBorromeowaswonttospendwholenightsinprayerthere。Itwasalsothesceneofaverymarvelousthing。"HeretheheartofSt。PhilipNeriwassoinflamedwithdivineloveastobursthisribs。"IfindthatgravestatementinabookpublishedinNewYorkin1808，andwrittenby"Rev。WilliamH。Neligan，LL。D。，M。A。，TrinityCollege，Dublin;

MemberoftheArchaeologicalSocietyofGreatBritain。"Therefore，Ibelieveit。Otherwise，Icouldnot。UnderothercircumstancesIshouldhavefeltacuriositytoknowwhatPhiliphadfordinner。

Thisauthorputsmycredulityonitsmettleeverynowandthen。HetellsofoneSt。JosephCalasanctiuswhosehouseinRomehevisited;hevisitedonlythehouse——thepriesthasbeendeadtwohundredyears。HesaystheVirginMaryappearedtothissaint。Thenhecontinues:"Histongueandhisheart，whichwerefoundafternearlyacenturytobewhole，whenthebodywasdisinterredbeforehiscanonization，arestillpreservedinaglasscase，andaftertwocenturiestheheartisstillwhole。WhentheFrenchtroopscametoRome，andwhenPiusVII。

wascarriedawayprisoner，blooddroppedfromit。"ToreadthatinabookwrittenbyamonkfarbackintheMiddleAges，wouldsurprisenoone;itwouldsoundnaturalandproper;butwhenitisseriouslystatedinthemiddleofthenineteenthcentury，byamanoffinishededucation，anLL。D。，M。A。，andanArchaeologicalmagnate，itsoundsstrangelyenough。

Still，IwouldgladlychangemyunbeliefforNeligan\'sfaith，andlethimmaketheconditionsashardashepleased。

Theoldgentleman\'sundoubting，unquestioningsimplicityhasararefreshnessaboutitinthesematter—of—factrailroadingandtelegraphingdays。Hearhim，concerningthechurchofAraCoeli:"Intheroofofthechurch，directlyabovethehighaltar，isengraved，\'ReginaCoelilaetareAlleluia。"InthesixthcenturyRomewasvisitedbyafearfulpestilence。GregorytheGreaturgedthepeopletodopenance，andageneralprocessionwasformed。ItwastoproceedfromAraCoelitoSt。Peter\'s。AsitpassedbeforethemoleofAdrian，nowtheCastleofSt。Angelo，thesoundofheavenlyvoiceswasheardsinging（itwasEastermorn，）ReginaCoeli，laetare！alleluia！quiaquemmeruistiportare，alleluia！resurrexitsicutdixit;alleluia！"ThePontiff，carryinginhishandstheportraitoftheVirgin，（whichisoverthehighaltarandissaidtohavebeenpaintedbySt。Luke，）answered，withtheastonishedpeople，\'OrapronobisDeum，alleluia！\'Atthesametimeanangelwasseentoputupaswordinascabbard，andthepestilenceceasedonthesameday。Therearefourcircumstanceswhichconfirm*thismiracle:theannualprocessionwhichtakesplaceinthewesternchurchonthefeastofStMark;thestatueofSt。Michael，placedonthemoleofAdrian，whichhassincethattimebeencalledtheCastleofSt。Angelo;

theantiphonReginaCoeliwhichtheCatholicchurchsingsduringpaschaltime;andtheinscriptioninthechurch。"*Theitalicsaremine——M。T。

Chapter28

FromthesanguinarysportsoftheHolyInquisition;theslaughteroftheColiseum;andthedismaltombsoftheCatacombs，InaturallypasstothepicturesquehorrorsoftheCapuchinConvent。WestoppedamomentinasmallchapelinthechurchtoadmireapictureofSt。MichaelvanquishingSatan——apicturewhichissobeautifulthatIcannotbutthinkitbelongstothereviled"Renaissance，"notwithstandingIbelievetheytoldusoneoftheancientoldmasterspaintedit——andthenwedescendedintothevastvaultunderneath。

Herewasaspectacleforsensitivenerves！Evidentlytheoldmastershadbeenatworkinthisplace。Thereweresixdivisionsintheapartment，andeachdivisionwasornamentedwithastyleofdecorationpeculiartoitself——andthesedecorationswereineveryinstanceformedofhumanbones！

Therewereshapelyarches，builtwhollyofthighbones;therewerestartlingpyramids，builtwhollyofgrinningskulls;therewerequaintarchitecturalstructuresofvariouskinds，builtofshinbonesandthebonesofthearm;

onthewallwereelaboratefrescoes，whosecurvingvinesweremadeofknottedhumanvertebræ;whosedelicatetendrilsweremadeofsinewsandtendons;

whoseflowerswereformedofknee—capsandtoe—nails。Everylastingportionofthehumanframewasrepresentedintheseintricatedesigns（theywerebyMichaelAngelo，Ithink，）andtherewasacarefulfinishaboutthework，andanattentiontodetailsthatbetrayedtheartist\'sloveofhislaborsaswellashisschooledability。Iaskedthegood—naturedmonkwhoaccompaniedus，whodidthis？Andhesaid，"Wedidit"——meaninghimselfandhisbrethrenupstairs。Icouldseethattheoldfriartookahighprideinhiscuriousshow。Wemadehimtalkativebyexhibitinganinterestweneverbetrayedtoguides。

"Whowerethesepeople？"

"We——upstairs——MonksoftheCapuchinorder——mybrethren。"

"Howmanydepartedmonkswererequiredtoupholsterthesesixparlors？"

"Thesearethebonesoffourthousand。"

"Ittookalongtimetogetenough？"

"Many，manycenturies。"

"Theirdifferentpartsarewellseparated——skullsinoneroom，legsinanother，ribsinanother——therewouldbestirringtimeshereforawhileifthelasttrumpshouldblow。Someofthebrethrenmightgetholdofthewrongleg，intheconfusion，andthewrongskull，andfindthemselveslimping，andlookingthrougheyesthatwerewiderapartorclosertogetherthantheywereusedto。Youcannottellanyofthesepartiesapart，Isuppose？"

"Oh，yes，Iknowmanyofthem。"

Heputhisfingeronaskull。"ThiswasBrotherAnselmo——deadthreehundredyears——agoodman。"

Hetouchedanother。"ThiswasBrotherAlexander——deadtwohundredandeightyyears。ThiswasBrotherCarlo——deadaboutaslong。"

Thenhetookaskullandhelditinhishand，andlookedreflectivelyuponit，afterthemannerofthegrave—diggerwhenhediscoursesofYorick。

"This，"hesaid，"wasBrotherThomas。Hewasayoungprince，thescionofaproudhousethattraceditslineagebacktothegrandolddaysofRomewellnightwothousandyearsago。Helovedbeneathhisestate。Hisfamilypersecutedhim;persecutedthegirl，aswell。TheydroveherfromRome;hefollowed;hesoughtherfarandwide;hefoundnotraceofher。

HecamebackandofferedhisbrokenheartatouraltarandhiswearylifetotheserviceofGod。Butlookyou。Shortlyhisfatherdied，andlikewisehismother。Thegirlreturned，rejoicing。Shesoughteverywhereforhimwhoseeyeshadusedtolooktenderlyintohersoutofthispoorskull，butshecouldnotfindhim。Atlast，inthiscoarsegarbwewear，sherecognizedhiminthestreet。Heknewher。Itwastoolate。Hefellwherehestood。

Theytookhimupandbroughthimhere。Heneverspokeafterward。Withintheweekhedied。Youcanseethecolorofhishair——faded，somewhat——

bythisthinshredthatclingsstilltothetemple。"This，"[takingupathighbone，]"washis。Theveinsofthisleafinthedecorationsoveryourhead，werehisfinger—joints，ahundredandfiftyyearsago。"

Thisbusiness—likewayofillustratingatouchingstoryoftheheartbylayingtheseveralfragmentsoftheloverbeforeusandnamingthem，wasasgrotesqueaperformance，andasghastly，asanyIeverwitnessed。

Ihardlyknewwhethertosmileorshudder。Therearenervesandmusclesinourframeswhosefunctionsandwhosemethodsofworkingitseemsasortofsacrilegetodescribebycoldphysiologicalnamesandsurgicaltechnicalities，andthemonk\'stalksuggestedtomesomethingofthiskind。Fancyasurgeon，withhisnippersliftingtendons，musclesandsuchthingsintoview，outofthecomplexmachineryofacorpse，andobserving，"Nowthislittlenervequivers——thevibrationisimpartedtothismuscle——fromhereitispassedtothisfibroussubstance;hereitsingredientsareseparatedbythechemicalactionoftheblood——onepartgoestotheheartandthrillsitwithwhatispopularlytermedemotion，anotherpartfollowsthisnervetothebrainandcommunicatesintelligenceofastartlingcharacter——thethirdpartglidesalongthispassageandtouchesthespringconnectedwiththefluidreceptaclesthatlieintherearoftheeye。Thus，bythissimpleandbeautifulprocess，thepartyisinformedthathismotherisdead，andheweeps。"

Horrible！

Iaskedthemonkifallthebrethrenupstairsexpectedtobeputinthisplacewhentheydied。Heansweredquietly:

"Wemustallliehereatlast。"

Seewhatonecanaccustomhimselfto。——Thereflectionthathemustsomedaybetakenapartlikeanengineoraclock，orlikeahousewhoseownerisgone，andworkedupintoarchesandpyramidsandhideousfrescoes，didnotdistressthismonkintheleast。Ithoughtheevenlookedasifhewerethinking，withcomplacentvanity，thathisownskullwouldlookwellontopoftheheapandhisownribsaddacharmtothefrescoeswhichpossiblytheylackedatpresent。