第7章

TheysaythatapagantemplestoodwhereNotreDamenowstands，intheoldRomandays，eighteenortwentycenturiesago——remainsofitarestillpreservedinParis;andthataChristianchurchtookitsplaceaboutA。D。

300;anothertooktheplaceofthatinA。D。500;andthatthefoundationsofthepresentcathedralwerelaidaboutA。D。1100。Thegroundoughttobemeasurablysacredbythistime，onewouldthink。Oneportionofthisnobleoldedificeissuggestiveofthequaintfashionsofancienttimes。

ItwasbuiltbyJeanSans—Peur，DukeofBurgundy，tosethisconscienceatrest——hehadassassinatedtheDukeofOrleans。Alas！Thosegoodoldtimesaregonewhenamurderercouldwipethestainfromhisnameandsoothehistroublestosleepsimplybygettingouthisbricksandmortarandbuildinganadditiontoachurch。

Theportalsofthegreatwesternfrontarebisectedbysquarepillars。

Theytookthecentraloneawayin1852，ontheoccasionofthanksgivingsforthereinstitutionofthepresidentialpower——butprecioussoontheyhadoccasiontoreconsiderthatmotionandputitbackagain！Andtheydid。

Weloiteredthroughthegrandaislesforanhourortwo，staringupattherichstained—glasswindowsembellishedwithblueandyellowandcrimsonsaintsandmartyrs，andtryingtoadmirethenumberlessgreatpicturesinthechapels，andthenwewereadmittedtothesacristyandshownthemagnificentrobeswhichthepopeworewhenhecrownedNapoleonI;awagonloadofsolidgoldandsilverutensilsusedinthegreatpublicprocessionsandceremoniesofthechurch;somenailsofthetruecross，afragmentofthecrossitself，apartofthecrownofthorns。WehadalreadyseenalargepieceofthetruecrossinachurchintheAzores，butnonails。

TheyshoweduslikewisethebloodyrobewhichthatarchbishopofParisworewhoexposedhissacredpersonandbravedthewrathoftheinsurgentsof1848，tomountthebarricadesandholdalofttheolivebranchofpeaceinthehopeofstoppingtheslaughter。Hisnobleeffortcosthimhislife。

Hewasshotdead。Theyshowedusacastofhisfacetakenafterdeath，thebulletthatkilledhim，andthetwovertebraeinwhichitlodged。Thesepeoplehaveasomewhatsingulartasteinthematterofrelics。FergusontoldusthatthesilvercrosswhichthegoodarchbishopworeathisgirdlewasseizedandthrownintotheSeine，whereitlayembeddedinthemudforfifteenyears，andthenanangelappearedtoapriestandtoldhimwheretodiveforit;hediddiveforitandgotit，andnowitisthereonexhibitionatNotreDame，tobeinspectedbyanybodywhofeelsaninterestininanimateobjectsofmiraculousintervention。

NextwewenttovisittheMorgue，thathorriblereceptacleforthedeadwhodiemysteriouslyandleavethemanneroftheirtakingoffadismalsecret。Westoodbeforeagratingandlookedthroughintoaroomwhichwashungallaboutwiththeclothingofdeadmen;coarseblouses，water—soaked;

thedelicategarmentsofwomenandchildren;patricianvestments，hackedandstabbedandstainedwithred;ahatthatwascrushedandbloody。Onaslantingstonelayadrownedman，naked，swollen，purple;claspingthefragmentofabrokenbushwithagripwhichdeathhadsopetrifiedthathumanstrengthcouldnotunlooseit——mutewitnessofthelastdespairingefforttosavethelifethatwasdoomedbeyondallhelp。Astreamofwatertrickledceaselesslyoverthehideousfare。Weknewthatthebodyandtheclothingwerethereforidentificationbyfriends，butstillwewonderedifanybodycouldlovethatrepulsiveobjectorgrieveforitsloss。Wegrewmeditativeandwonderedif，somefortyyearsago，whenthemotherofthatghastlythingwasdandlingituponherknee，andkissingitandpettingitanddisplayingitwithsatisfiedpridetothepassersby，apropheticvisionofthisdreadendingeverflittedthroughherbrain。Ihalffearedthatthemotherorthewifeorabrotherofthedeadmanmightcomewhilewestoodthere，butnothingofthekindoccurred。Menandwomencame，andsomelookedeagerlyinandpressedtheirfacesagainstthebars;othersglancedcarelesslyatthebodyandturnedawaywithadisappointedlook——people，Ithought，wholiveuponstrongexcitementsandwhoattendtheexhibitionsoftheMorgueregularly，justasotherpeoplegotoseetheatricalspectacleseverynight。Whenoneoftheselookedinandpassedon，Icouldnothelpthinking:

"Nowthisdon\'taffordyouanysatisfaction——apartywithhisheadshotoffiswhatyouneed。"

OnenightwewenttothecelebratedJardinMabille，butonlystayedalittlewhile。WewantedtoseesomeofthiskindofParislife，however，andthereforethenextnightwewenttoasimilarplaceofentertainmentinagreatgardeninthesuburbofAsnières。Wewenttotherailroaddepottowardevening，andFergusongotticketsforasecond—classcarriage。

SuchaperfectjamofpeopleIhavenotoftenseen——buttherewasnonoise，nodisorder，norowdyism。Someofthewomenandyounggirlsthatenteredthetrainweknewtobeofthedemimonde，butotherswewerenotatallsureabout。

Thegirlsandwomeninourcarriagebehavedthemselvesmodestlyandbecominglyallthewayout，exceptthattheysmoked。WhenwearrivedatthegardeninAsnières，wepaidafrancortwoadmissionandenteredaplacewhichhadflowerbedsinit，andgrassplots，andlong，curvingrowsofornamentalshrubbery，withhereandthereasecludedbowerconvenientforeatingicecreamin。Wemovedalongthesinuousgravelwalks，withthegreatconcourseofgirlsandyoungmen，andsuddenlyadomedandfiligreedwhitetemple，starredoverandoverandoveragainwithbrilliantgasjets，burstuponuslikeafallensun。Nearbywasalarge，handsomehousewithitsamplefrontilluminatedinthesameway，andaboveitsrooffloatedtheStar—SpangledBannerofAmerica。

"Well！"Isaid。"Howisthis？"Itnearlytookmybreathaway。

FergusonsaidanAmerican——aNewYorker——kepttheplace，andwascarryingonquiteastirringoppositiontotheJardinMabille。

Crowdscomposedofbothsexesandnearlyallageswerefriskingaboutthegardenorsittingintheopenairinfrontoftheflagstaffandthetemple，drinkingwineandcoffeeorsmoking。Thedancinghadnotbegunyet。Fergusonsaidtherewastobeanexhibition。ThefamousBlondinwasgoingtoperformonatightropeinanotherpartofthegarden。Wewentthither。Herethelightwasdim，andthemassesofpeoplewereprettycloselypackedtogether。AndnowImadeamistakewhichanydonkeymightmake，butasensiblemannever。IcommittedanerrorwhichIfindmyselfrepeatingeverydayofmylife。Standingrightbeforeayounglady，Isaid:

"Dan，justlookatthisgirl，howbeautifulsheis！"

"Ithankyoumorefortheevidentsincerityofthecompliment，sir，thanfortheextraordinarypublicityyouhavegiventoit！"Thisingood，pureEnglish。

Wetookawalk，butmyspiritswerevery，verysadlydampened。Ididnotfeelrightcomfortableforsometimeafterward。Whywillpeoplebesostupidastosupposethemselvestheonlyforeignersamongacrowdoftenthousandpersons？

ButBlondincameoutshortly。Heappearedonastretchedcable，farawayabovetheseaoftossinghatsandhandkerchiefs，andintheglareofthehundredsofrocketsthatwhizzedheavenwardbyhimhelookedlikeaweeinsect。Hebalancedhispoleandwalkedthelengthofhisrope——twoorthreehundredfeet;hecamebackandgotamanandcarriedhimacross;

hereturnedtothecenteranddancedajig;nextheperformedsomegymnasticandbalancingfeatstooperiloustoaffordapleasantspectacle;andhefinishedbyfasteningtohispersonathousandRomancandies，Catherinewheels，serpentsandrocketsofallmannerofbrilliantcolors，settingthemonfireallatonceandwalkingandwaltzingacrosshisropeagaininablindingblazeofglorythatlitupthegardenandthepeople\'sfaceslikeagreatconflagrationatmidnight。

Thedancehadbegun，andweadjournedtothetemple。Withinitwasadrinkingsaloon，andallarounditwasabroadcircularplatformforthedancers。Ibackedupagainstthewallofthetempleandwaited。Twentysetsformed，themusicstruckup，andthen——Iplacedmyhandsbeforemyfaceforveryshame。ButIlookedthroughmyfingers。Theyweredancingtherenowned"Cancan。"Ahandsomegirlinthesetbeforemetrippedforwardlightlytomeettheoppositegentleman，trippedbackagain，graspedherdressesvigorouslyonbothsideswithherhands，raisedthemprettyhigh，dancedanextraordinaryjigthathadmoreactivityandexposureaboutitthananyjigIeversawbefore，andthen，drawingherclothesstillhigher，sheadvancedgailytothecenterandlaunchedaviciouskickfullathervis—à—visthatmustinfalliblyhaveremovedhisnoseifhehadbeensevenfeethigh。Itwasamercyhewasonlysix。

Thatisthecancan。Theideaofitistodanceaswildly，asnoisily，asfuriouslyasyoucan;exposeyourselfasmuchaspossibleifyouareawoman;andkickashighasyoucan，nomatterwhichsexyoubelongto。

Thereisnowordofexaggerationinthis。Anyofthestaid，respectable，agedpeoplewhoweretherethatnightcantestifytothetruthofthatstatement。Therewereagoodmanysuchpeoplepresent。IsupposeFrenchmoralityisnotofthatstraight—laceddescriptionwhichisshockedattrifles。

Imovedasideandtookageneralviewofthecancan。Shouts，laughter，furiousmusic，abewilderingchaosofdartingandinterminglingforms，stormyjerkingandsnatchingofgaydresses，bobbingbeads，flyingarms，lightningflashesofwhite—stockingedcalvesanddaintyslippersintheair，andthenagrandfinalrush，riot，aterrifichubbub，andawildstampede！

Heavens！NothinglikeithasbeenseenonearthsincetremblingTamO\'Shantersawthedevilandthewitchesattheirorgiesthatstormynightin"Alloway\'sauldhauntedkirk。"

WevisitedtheLouvre，atatimewhenwehadnosilkpurchasesinview，andlookedatitsmilesofpaintingsbytheoldmasters。Someofthemwerebeautiful，butatthesametimetheycarriedsuchevidencesaboutthemofthecringingspiritofthosegreatmenthatwefoundsmallpleasureinexaminingthem。Theirnauseousadulationofprincelypatronswasmoreprominenttomeandchainedmyattentionmoresurelythanthecharmsofcolorandexpressionwhichareclaimedtobeinthepictures。Gratitudeforkindnessesiswell，butitseemstomethatsomeofthoseartistscarrieditsofarthatitceasedtobegratitudeandbecameworship。Ifthereisaplausibleexcusefortheworshipofmen，thenbyallmeansletusforgiveRubensandhisbrethren。

ButIwilldropthesubject，lestIsaysomethingabouttheoldmastersthatmightaswellbeleftunsaid。

OfcoursewedroveintheBoisdeBoulogne，thatlimitlesspark，withitsforests，itslakes，itscascades，anditsbroadavenues。Therewerethousandsuponthousandsofvehiclesabroad，andthescenewasfulloflifeandgaiety。Therewereverycommonhacks，withfatherandmotherandallthechildreninthem;conspicuouslittleopencarriageswithcelebratedladiesofquestionablereputationinthem;thereweredukesandduchessesabroad，withgorgeousfootmenperchedbehind，andequallygorgeousoutridersperchedoneachofthesixhorses;therewereblueandsilver，andgreenandgold，andpinkandblack，andallsortsanddescriptionsofstunningandstartlingliveriesout，andIalmostyearnedtobeaflunkymyself，forthesakeofthefineclothes。

ButpresentlytheEmperorcamealongandheoutshonethemall。Hewasprecededbyabodyguardofgentlemenonhorsebackinshowyuniforms，hiscarriagehorses（thereappearedtobesomewhereintheremoteneighborhoodofathousandofthem）werebestriddenbygallant—lookingfellows，alsoinstylishuniforms，andafterthecarriagefollowedanotherdetachmentofbodyguards。Everybodygotoutoftheway;everybodybowedtotheEmperorandhisfriendtheSultan;andtheywentbyonaswingingtrotanddisappeared。

IwillnotdescribetheBoisdeBoulogne。Icannotdoit。Itissimplyabeautiful，cultivated，endless，wonderfulwilderness。Itisanenchantingplace。ItisinParisnow，onemaysay，butacrumblingoldcrossinoneportionofitremindsonethatitwasnotalwaysso。Thecrossmarksthespotwhereacelebratedtroubadourwaswaylaidandmurderedinthefourteenthcentury。ItwasinthisparkthatthatfellowwithanunpronounceablenamemadetheattemptupontheRussianczar\'slifelastspringwithapistol。

Thebulletstruckatree。Fergusonshowedustheplace。NowinAmericathatinterestingtreewouldbechoppeddownorforgottenwithinthenextfiveyears，butitwillbetreasuredhere。Theguideswillpointitouttovisitorsforthenexteighthundredyears，andwhenitdecaysandfallsdowntheywillputupanotherthereandgoonwiththesameoldstoryjustthesame。

Chapter15

OneofourpleasantestvisitswastoPèrelaChaise，thenationalburyinggroundofFrance，thehonoredrestingplaceofsomeofhergreatestandbestchildren，thelasthomeofscoresofillustriousmenandwomenwhowereborntonotitles，butachievedfamebytheirownenergyandtheirowngenius。Itisasolemncityofwindingstreetsandofminiaturemarbletemplesandmansionsofthedeadgleamingwhitefromoutawildernessoffoliageandfreshflowers。Noteverycityissowellpeopledasthisorhassoampleanareawithinitswalls。Fewpalacesexistinanycitythataresoexquisiteindesign，sorichinart，socostlyinmaterial，sograceful，sobeautiful。

WehadstoodintheancientchurchofSt。Denis，wherethemarbleeffigiesofthirtygenerationsofkingsandqueenslaystretchedatlengthuponthetombs，andthesensationsinvokedwerestartlingandnovel;thecuriousarmor，theobsoletecostumes，theplacidfaces，thehandsplacedpalmtopalmineloquentsupplication——itwasavisionofgrayantiquity。Itseemedcuriousenoughtobestandingfacetoface，asitwere，witholdDagobertI，andClovisandCharlemagne，thosevague，colossalheroes，thoseshadows，thosemythsofathousandyearsago！Itouchedtheirdust—coveredfaceswithmyfinger，butDagobertwasdeaderthanthesixteencenturiesthathavepassedoverhim，ClovissleptwellafterhislaborforChrist，andoldCharlemagnewentondreamingofhispaladins，ofbloodyRoncesvalles，andgavenoheedtome。

ThegreatnamesofPèrelaChaiseimpressone，too，butdifferently。

Therethesuggestionbroughtconstantlytohismindisthatthisplaceissacredtoanoblerroyalty——theroyaltyofheartandbrain。Everyfacultyofmind，everynobletraitofhumannature，everyhighoccupationwhichmenengagein，seemsrepresentedbyafamousname。Theeffectisacuriousmedley。DavoustandMassena，whowroughtinmanyabattletragedy，arehere，andsoalsoisRachel，ofequalrenowninmimictragedyonthestage。

TheAbbéSicardsleepshere——thefirstgreatteacherofthedeafanddumb——amanwhoseheartwentouttoeveryunfortunate，andwhoselifewasgiventokindlyofficesintheirservice;andnotfaroff，inreposeandpeaceatlast，liesMarshalNey，whosestormyspiritknewnomusiclikethebuglecalltoarms。Themanwhooriginatedpublicgas—lighting，andthatotherbenefactorwhointroducedthecultivationofthepotatoandthusblessedmillionsofhisstarvingcountrymen，liewiththePrinceofMasserano，andwithexiledqueensandprincesofFurtherIndia。Gay—Lussacthechemist，Laplacetheastronomer，Larreythesurgeon，DeSezetheadvocate，arehere，andwiththemareTalma，Bellini，Rubini;deBalzac，Beaumarchais，Beranger;MolièreandLaFontaine，andscoresofothermenwhosenamesandwhoseworthylaborsareasfamiliarintheremotebyplacesofcivilizationasarethehistoricdeedsofthekingsandprincesthatsleepinthemarblevaultsofSt。Denis。

ButamongthethousandsandthousandsoftombsinPèrelaChaise，thereisonethatnoman，nowoman，noyouthofeithersex，everpassesbywithoutstoppingtoexamine。Everyvisitorhasasortofindistinctideaofthehistoryofitsdeadandcomprehendsthathomageisduethere，butnotoneintwentythousandclearlyremembersthestoryofthattombanditsromanticoccupants。ThisisthegraveofAbelardandHéloïseagravewhichhasbeenmorerevered，morewidelyknown，morewrittenandsungaboutandweptover，forsevenhundredyears，thananyotherinChristendomsaveonlythatoftheSaviour。Allvisitorslingerpensivelyaboutit;

allyoungpeoplecaptureandcarryawaykeepsakesandmementosofit;allParisianyouthsandmaidenswhoaredisappointedinlovecometheretobailoutwhentheyarefulloftears;yea，manystrickenloversmakepilgrimagestothisshrinefromdistantprovincestoweepandwailand"grit"theirteethovertheirheavysorrows，andtopurchasethesympathiesofthechastenedspiritsofthattombwithofferingsofimmortellesandbuddingflowers。

Gowhenyouwill，youfindsomebodysnufflingoverthattomb。Gowhenyouwill，youfinditfurnishedwiththosebouquetsandimmortelles。Gowhenyouwill，youfindagraveltrainfromMarseillesarrivingtosupplythedeficienciescausedbymemento—cabbagingvandalswhoseaffectionshavemiscarried。

YetwhoreallyknowsthestoryofAbelardandHéloïse？Preciousfewpeople。Thenamesareperfectlyfamiliartoeverybody，andthatisaboutall。WithinfinitepainsIhaveacquiredaknowledgeofthathistory，andIproposetonarrateithere，partlyforthehonestinformationofthepublicandpartlytoshowthatpublicthattheyhavebeenwastingagooddealofmarketablesentimentveryunnecessarily。STORYOFABELARDHéloïsewasbornsevenhundredandsixty—sixyearsago。Shemayhavehadparents。Thereisnotelling。ShelivedwithheruncleFulbert，acanonofthecathedralofParis。Idonotknowwhatacanonofacathedralis，butthatiswhathewas。Hewasnothingmorethanasortofamountainhowitzer，likely，becausetheyhadnoheavyartilleryinthosedays。Sufficeit，then，thatHéloïselivedwithherunclethehowitzerandwashappy。ShespentthemostofherchildhoodintheconventofArgenteuil——neverheardofArgenteuilbefore，butsupposetherewasreallysuchaplace。

Shethenreturnedtoheruncle，theoldgun，orsonofagun，asthecasemaybe，andhetaughthertowriteandspeakLatin，whichwasthelanguageofliteratureandpolitesocietyatthatperiod。

Justatthistime，PierreAbelard，whohadalreadymadehimselfwidelyfamousasarhetorician，cametofoundaschoolofrhetoricinParis。Theoriginalityofhisprinciples，hiseloquence，andhisgreatphysicalstrengthandbeautycreatedaprofoundsensation。HesawHéloïse，andwascaptivatedbyherbloomingyouth，herbeauty，andhercharmingdisposition。

Hewrotetoher;sheanswered。Hewroteagain;sheansweredagain。Hewasnowinlove。Helongedtoknowher——tospeaktoherfacetoface。

HisschoolwasnearFulbert\'shouse。HeaskedFulberttoallowhimtocall。Thegoodoldswivelsawherearareopportunity:hisniece，whomhesomuchloved，wouldabsorbknowledgefromthisman，anditwouldnotcosthimacent。SuchwasFulbert——penurious。

Fulbert\'sfirstnameisnotmentionedbyanyauthor，whichisunfortunate。

However，GeorgeW。Fulbertwillanswerforhimaswellasanyother。Wewilllethimgoatthat。HeaskedAbelardtoteachher。

Abelardwasgladenoughoftheopportunity。Hecameoftenandstayedlong。Aletterofhisshowsinitsveryfirstsentencethathecameunderthatfriendlyrooflikeacold—heartedvillainashewas，withthedeliberateintentionofdebauchingaconfiding，innocentgirl。Thisistheletter:IcannotceasetobeastonishedatthesimplicityofFulbert;

Iwasasmuchsurprisedasifhehadplacedalambinthepowerofahungrywolf。HéloïseandI，underpretextofstudy，gaveourselvesupwhollytolove，andthesolitudethatloveseeksourstudiesprocuredforus。Bookswereopenbeforeus，butwespokeofteneroflovethanphilosophy，andkissescamemorereadilyfromourlipsthanwords。Andso，exultingoveranhonorableconfidencewhichtohisdegradedinstinctwasaludicrous"simplicity，"thisunmanlyAbelardseducedthenieceofthemanwhoseguesthewas。Parisfounditout。Fulbertwastoldofit——toldoften——butrefusedtobelieveit。Hecouldnotcomprehendhowamancouldbesodepravedastousethesacredprotectionandsecurityofhospitalityasameansforthecommissionofsuchacrimeasthat。ButwhenheheardtherowdiesinthestreetssingingthelovesongsofAbelardtoHéloïse，thecasewastooplain——lovesongscomenotproperlywithintheteachingsofrhetoricandphilosophy。

HedroveAbelardfromhishouse。AbelardreturnedsecretlyandcarriedHé1oïseawaytoPalais，inBrittany，hisnativecountry。Here，shortlyafterward，sheboreason，who，fromhisrarebeauty，wassurnamedAstrolabe——WilliamG。Thegirl\'sflightenragedFulbert，andhelongedforvengeance，butfearedtostrikelestretaliationvisitHéloïse——forhestilllovedhertenderly。AtlengthAbelardofferedtomarryHéloïse——butonashamefulcondition:thatthemarriageshouldbekeptsecretfromtheworld，totheendthat（whilehergoodnameremainedawreck，asbefore）

hispriestlyreputationmightbekeptuntarnished。Itwaslikethatmiscreant。

Fulbertsawhisopportunityandconsented。Hewouldseethepartiesmarriedandthenviolatetheconfidenceofthemanwhohadtaughthimthattrick;

hewoulddivulgethesecretandsoremovesomewhatoftheobloquythatattachedtohisniece\'sfame。Buttheniecesuspectedhisscheme。Sherefusedthemarriageatfirst;shesaidFulbertwouldbetraythesecrettosaveher，andbesides，shedidnotwishtodragdownaloverwhowassogifted，sohonoredbytheworld，andwhohadsuchasplendidcareerbeforehim。Itwasnoble，self—sacrificinglove，andcharacteristicofthepure—souledHéloïse，butitwasnotgoodsense。

Butshewasoverruled，andtheprivatemarriagetookplace。NowforFulbert！Theheartsowoundedshouldbehealedatlast;theproudspiritsotorturedshouldfindrestagain;thehumbledheadshouldbelifteduponcemore。Heproclaimedthemarriageinthehighplacesofthecityandrejoicedthatdishonorhaddepartedfromhishouse。Butlo！Abelarddeniedthemarriage！Héloïsedeniedit！Thepeople，knowingtheformercircumstances，mighthavebelievedFulberthadonlyAbelarddeniedit，butwhenthepersonchieflyinterested——thegirlherself——deniedit，theylaughed，despairingFulberttoscorn。

ThepoorcanonofthecathedralofPariswasspikedagain。Thelasthopeofrepairingthewrongthathadbeendonehishousewasgone。Whatnext？Humannaturesuggestedrevenge。Hecompassedit。Thehistoriansays:Ruffians，hiredbyFulbert，felluponAbelardbynight，andinflicteduponhimaterribleandnamelessmutilation。Iamseekingthelastrestingplaceofthose"ruffians。"WhenIfinditIshallshedsometearsonit，andstackupsomebouquetsandimmortelles，andcartawayfromitsomegravelwherebytorememberthathowsoeverblottedbycrimetheirlivesmayhavebeen，theseruffiansdidonejustdeed，atanyrate，albeititwasnotwarrantedbythestrictletterofthelaw。

Héloïseenteredaconventandgavegood—byetotheworldanditspleasuresforalltime。FortwelveyearssheneverheardofAbelard——neverevenheardhisnamementioned。ShehadbecomeprioressofArgenteuilandledalifeofcompleteseclusion。Shehappenedonedaytoseealetterwrittenbyhim，inwhichhenarratedhisownhistory。Shecriedoveritandwrotehim。Heanswered，addressingherashis"sisterinChrist。"Theycontinuedtocorrespond，sheintheunweighedlanguageofunwaveringaffection，heinthechillyphraseologyofthepolishedrhetorician。Shepouredoutherheartinpassionate，disjointedsentences;herepliedwithfinishedessays，divideddeliberatelyintoheadsandsubheads，premisesandargument。

Sheshowereduponhimthetenderestepithetsthatlovecoulddevise，headdressedherfromtheNorthPoIeofhisfrozenheartasthe"SpouseofChrist"！Theabandonedvillain！

Onaccountofhertooeasygovernmentofhernuns，somedisreputableirregularitieswerediscoveredamongthem，andtheAbbotofSt。Denisbrokeupherestablishment。AbelardwastheofficialheadofthemonasteryofSt。GildasdeRuysatthattime，andwhenheheardofherhomelessconditionasentimentofpitywasarousedinhisbreast（itisawondertheunfamiliaremotiondidnotblowhisheadoff），andheplacedherandhertroopinthelittleoratoryoftheParaclete，areligiousestablishmentwhichhehadfounded。Shehadmanyprivationsandsufferingstoundergoatfirst，butherworthandhergentledispositionwoninfluentialfriendsforher，andshebuiltupawealthyandflourishingnunnery。Shebecameagreatfavoritewiththeheadsofthechurch，andalsothepeople，thoughsheseldomappearedinpublic。Sherapidlyadvancedinesteem，ingoodreport，andinusefulness，andAbelardasrapidlylostground。ThePopesohonoredherthathemadehertheheadofherorder。Abelard，amanofsplendidtalents，andrankingasthefirstdebaterofhistime，becametimid，irresolute，anddistrustfulofhispowers。Heonlyneededagreatmisfortunetotopplehimfromthehighpositionheheldintheworldofintellectualexcellence，anditcame。UrgedbykingsandprincestomeetthesubtleSt。Bernardindebateandcrushhim，hestoodupinthepresenceofaroyalandillustriousassemblage，andwhenhisantagonisthadfinishedhelookedabouthimandstammeredacommencement;buthiscouragefailedhim，thecunningofhistonguewasgone;withhisspeechunspoken，hetrembledandsatdown，adisgracedandvanquishedchampion。

Hediedanobody，andwasburiedatCluny，A。D。1144。TheyremovedhisbodytotheParacleteafterward，andwhenHéloïsedied，twentyyearslater，theyburiedherwithhim，inaccordancewithherlastwish。

Hediedattheripeageof64，andsheat63。Afterthebodieshadremainedentombedthreehundredyears，theywereremovedoncemore。Theywereremovedagainin1800，andfinally，seventeenyearsafterward，theyweretakenupandtransferredtoPérelaChaise，wheretheywillremaininpeaceandquietuntilitcomestimeforthemtogetupandmoveagain。

Historyissilentconcerningthelastactsofthemountainhowitzer。

Lettheworldsaywhatitwillabouthim，I，atleast，shallalwaysrespectthememoryandsorrowfortheabusedtrustandthebrokenheartandthetroubledspiritoftheoldsmoothbore。Restandreposebehis！

SuchisthestoryofAbelardandHéloïse。SuchisthehistorythatLamartinehasshedsuchcataractsoftearsover。Butthatmannevercouldcomewithintheinfluenceofasubjectintheleastpatheticwithoutoverflowinghisbanks。Heoughttobedammed——orleveed，Ishouldmoreproperlysay。Suchisthehistory——notasitisusuallytold，butasitiswhenstrippedofthenauseoussentimentalitythatwouldenshrineforourlovingworshipadastardlyseducerlikePierreAbelard。Ihavenotawordtosayagainstthemisused，faithfulgirl，andwouldnotwithholdfromhergraveasingleoneofthosesimpletributeswhichblightedyouthsandmaidensoffertohermemory，butIamsorryenoughthatIhavenottimeandopportunitytowritefourorfivevolumesofmyopinionofherfriendthefounderoftheParachute，ortheParaclete，orwhateveritwas。

ThetonsofsentimentIhavewastedonthatunprincipledhumbuginmyignorance！Ishallthrottledownmyemotionshereafter，aboutthissortofpeople，untilIhavereadthemupandknowwhethertheyareentitledtoanytearfulattentionsornot。IwishIhadmyimmortellesbacknow，andthatbunchofradishes。

InParisweoftensawinshopwindowsthesign"EnglishSpokenHere，"justasoneseesinthewindowsathomethesign"Icionparlefrançaise。"Wealwaysinvadedtheseplacesatonce——andinvariablyreceivedtheinformation，framedinfaultlessFrench，thattheclerkwhodidtheEnglishfortheestablishmenthadjustgonetodinnerandwouldbebackinanhour。

Wouldmonsieurbuysomething？Wewonderedwhythosepartieshappenedtotaketheirdinnersatsucherraticandextraordinaryhours，forwenevercalledatatimewhenanexemplaryChristianwouldbeintheleastlikelytobeabroadonsuchanerrand。Thetruthwas，itwasabasefraud——asnaretotraptheunwary——chafftocatchfledglingswith。TheyhadnoEnglish—murderingclerk。Theytrustedtothesigntoinveigleforeignersintotheirlairs，andtrustedtotheirownblandishmentstokeepthemtheretilltheyboughtsomething。

WeferretedoutanotherFrenchimpositionsfrequentsigntothiseffect:

"ALLMANNEROFAMERICANDRINKSARTISTICALLYPREPAREDHERE。"WeprocuredtheservicesofagentlemanexperiencedinthenomenclatureoftheAmericanbar，andmovedupontheworksofoneoftheseimpostors。Abowing，apronedFrenchmanskippedforwardandsaid:

"Quevoulezlesmessieurs？"Idonotknowwhat"Quevoulezlesmessieurs？"means，butsuchwashisremark。

Ourgeneralsaid，"Wewilltakeawhiskeystraight。"

[AstarefromtheFrenchman。]

"Well，ifyoudon\'tknowwhatthatis，giveusachampagnecocktail。"

[Astareandashrug。]

"Well，then，giveusasherrycobbler。"

TheFrenchmanwascheckmated。ThiswasallGreektohim。

"Giveusabrandysmash！"

TheFrenchmanbegantobackaway，suspiciousoftheominousvigorofthelastorder——begantobackaway，shrugginghisshouldersandspreadinghishandsapologetically。

Thegeneralfollowedhimupandgainedacompletevictory。TheuneducatedforeignercouldnotevenfurnishaSantaCruzPunch，anEye—Opener，aStoneFence，oranEarthquake。Itwasplainthathewasawickedimpostor。

AnacquaintanceofminesaidtheotherdaythathewasdoubtlesstheonlyAmericanvisitortotheExpositionwhohadhadthehighhonorofbeingescortedbytheEmperor\'sbodyguard。IsaidwithunobtrusivefranknessthatIwasastonishedthatsuchalong—legged，lantern—jawed，unprepossessing—lookingspecterasheshouldbesingledoutforadistinctionlikethat，andaskedhowitcameabout。HesaidhehadattendedagreatmilitaryreviewintheChampdeMarssometimeago，andwhilethemultitudeabouthimwasgrowingthickerandthickereverymomentheobservedanopenspaceinsidetherailing。