第38章

“Come，“saidhe，“let’sbegin。“

Hewrote——

“Courage，Emma!courage!Iwouldnotbringmiseryintoyourlife。“

“Afterall，that’strue，“thoughtRodolphe。“Iamactinginherinterest；Iamhonest。“

“Haveyoucarefullyweighedyourresolution？DoyouknowtowhatanabyssIwasdraggingyou，poorangel？No，youdonot，doyou？

Youwerecomingconfidentandfearless，believinginhappinessinthefuture。Ah!unhappythatweare——insensate!“

Rodolphestoppedheretothinkofsomegoodexcuse。

“IfItoldherallmyfortuneislost？No!Besides，thatwouldstopnothing。Itwouldallhavetobebegunoveragainlateron。

Asifonecouldmakewomenlikethatlistentoreason!“Hereflected，thenwenton——

“Ishallnotforgetyou，ohbelieveit；andIshalleverhaveaprofounddevotionforyou；butsomeday，soonerorlater，thisardour(suchisthefateofhumanthings)wouldhavegrownless，nodoubt。Lassitudewouldhavecometous，andwhoknowsifI

shouldnotevenhavehadtheatrociouspainofwitnessingyourremorse，ofsharingitmyself，sinceIshouldhavebeenitscause？Themereideaofthegriefthatwouldcometoyoutorturesme，Emma。Forgetme!WhydidIeverknowyou？Whywereyousobeautiful？Isitmyfault？OmyGod!No，no!Accuseonlyfate。“

“That’sawordthatalwaystells，“hesaidtohimself。

“Ah，ifyouhadbeenoneofthosefrivolouswomenthatonesees，certainlyImight，throughegotism，havetriedanexperiment，inthatcasewithoutdangerforyou。Butthatdeliciousexaltation，atonceyourcharmandyourtorment，haspreventedyoufromunderstanding，adorablewomanthatyouare，thefalsenessofourfutureposition。NorhadIreflecteduponthisatfirst，andI

restedintheshadeofthatidealhappinessasbeneaththatofthemanchineeltree，withoutforeseeingtheconsequences。“

“Perhapsshe’llthinkI’mgivingitupfromavarice。Ah，well!somuchtheworse；itmustbestopped!“

“Theworldiscruel，Emma。Whereverwemighthavegone，itwouldhavepersecutedus。Youwouldhavehadtoputupwithindiscreetquestions，calumny，contempt，insultperhaps。Insulttoyou!Oh!

AndI，whowouldplaceyouonathrone!Iwhobearwithmeyourmemoryasatalisman!ForIamgoingtopunishmyselfbyexileforalltheillIhavedoneyou。Iamgoingaway。WhitherIknownot。Iammad。Adieu!Begoodalways。Preservethememoryoftheunfortunatewhohaslostyou。Teachmynametoyourchild；letherrepeatitinherprayers。“

Thewicksofthecandlesflickered。Rodolphegotupto，shutthewindow，andwhenhehadsatdownagain——

“Ithinkit’sallright。Ah!andthisforfearsheshouldcomeandhuntmeup。“

“Ishallbefarawaywhenyoureadthesesadlines，forIhavewishedtofleeasqui