第22章

TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart5，Chapter27[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter27Afterthelessonwiththeteacherofgrammarcamehisfather’slesson。

Whilewaitingforhisfather，Seriozhasatatthetableplayingwithapenknife，andfelltomusing。AmongSeriozha’sfavoriteoccupationswassearchingforhismotherduringhiswalks。Hedidnotbelieveindeathgenerally，andinherdeathinparticular，inspiteofwhatLidiaIvanovnahadtoldhimandhisfatherhadconfirmed，anditwasjustbecauseofthat，andafterhehadbeentoldshewasdead，thathehadbegunlookingforherwhenoutforawalk。Everywomanoffull，gracefulfigurewithdarkhairwashismother。Atthesightofsuchawomansuchafeelingoftendernessstirredwithinhimthathisbreathfailedhim，andtearscameintohiseyes。Andhewasontiptoewithexpectationthatshewouldcomeuptohim，wouldliftherveil。Allherfacewouldbevisible，shewouldsmile，shewouldhughim，hewouldsniffherfragrance，feelthesoftnessofherarms，andcrywithhappiness，justashehadoneeveninglainonherlapwhileshetickledhim，andhelaughedandbitherwhite，ring-coveredfingers。

Later，whenheaccidentallylearnedfromhisoldnursethathismotherwasnotdead，andhisfatherandLidiaIvanovnahadexplainedtohimthatshewasdeadtohimbecauseshewaswicked(whichhecouldnotpossiblybelieve，becausehelovedher)，hewentonseekingherandexpectingherinthesameway。Thatdayinthepublicgardenstherehadbeenaladyinalilacveil，whomhehadwatchedwithathrobbingheart，believingittobeherasshecametowardthemalongthepath。Theladyhadnotcomeuptothem，buthaddisappearedsomewhere。Thatday，moreintenselythanever，Seriozhafeltarushofloveforher，andnow，waitingforhisfather，heforgoteverything，andcutallroundtheedgeofthetablewithhispenknife，staringstraightbeforehimwithsparklingeyes，andthinkingofher。

`Hereisyourpapa，’VassiliiLukichdivertedhim。

Seriozhajumpedupandwentuptohisfather，and，kissinghishand，lookedathimintently，tryingtodiscoversignsofhisjoyatreceivingtheAlexandreNevsky。

`Didyouhaveagoodwalk？’saidAlexeiAlexandrovich，sittingdowninhiseasychair，pullingthevolumeoftheOldTestamenttohimandopeningit。AlthoughAlexeiAlexandrovichhadmorethanoncetoldSeriozhathateveryChristianoughttoknowScripturehistorythoroughly，heoftenreferredtotheBiblehimselfduringthelesson，andSeriozhaobservedthis。

`Yes，itwasverygoodindeed，papa，’saidSeriozha，sittingsidewaysonhischairandrockingit，whichwasforbidden。`IsawNadinka’(NadinkawasanieceofLidiaIvanovna’swhowasbeingbroughtupinherhouse)。

`Shetoldmeyou’dbeengivenanewstar。Areyouglad，papa？’

`Firstofall，don’trockyourchair，please，’saidAlexeiAlexandrovich。

`Andsecondly，it’snottherewardthat’sprecious，buttheworkitself。

AndIcouldhavewishedyouhadunderstoodthat。Ifyounowaregoingtowork，tostudy，inordertowinareward，thentheworkwillseemhardtoyou；butwhenyouwork’(AlexeiAlexandrovich，ashespoke，thoughtofhowhehadbeensustainedbyasenseofdutythroughthewearisomelaborofthemorning，consistingofsigningonehundredandeightypapers)，`lovingyourwork，youwillfindyourrewardforit。’

Seriozha’seyeshithertoshiningwithgaietyandtenderness，grewdullanddroppedbeforehisfather’sgaze。Thiswasthesamelong-familiartonehisfatheralwaystookwithhim，andSeriozhahadlearnedbynowtofallinwithit。Hisfatheralwaystalkedtohim-soSeriozhafelt-asthoughhewereaddressingsomeboyofhisownimagination，oneofthoseboyswhoexistinbooks，utterlyunlikehimself。AndSeriozhaalwaystried，beforehisfather，topretendbeingthisstorybookboy。

`Youunderstandthat，Ihope？’saidhisfather。

`Yes，papa，’answeredSeriozha，actingthepartoftheimaginaryboy。

ThelessonconsistedoflearningbyheartseveralversesoutoftheEvangelandtherepetitionofthebeginningoftheOldTestament。TheversesfromtheEvangelSeriozhaknewfairlywell，butatthemomentwhenhewassayingthemhebecamesoabsorbedinwatchingthesharplyprotruding，bonyknobbinessofhisfather’sforehead，thathelostthethread，andhetransposedtheendofoneverseandthebeginningofanother。ItwasevidenttoAlexeiAlexandrovichthathedidnotunderstandwhathewassaying，andthisirritatedhim。

Hefrowned，andbeganexplainingwhatSeriozhahadheardmanytimesbeforeandnevercouldremember，becauseheunderstoodittoowell，justasthat`suddenly’isanadverbofmannerofaction。Seriozhalookedwithscaredeyesathisfather，andcouldthinkofnothingbutwhetherhisfatherwouldmakehimrepeatwhathehadsaid，ashesometimesdid。

AndthisthoughtsoalarmedSeriozhathathenowunderstoodnothing。Buthisfatherdidnotmakehimrepeatit，andpassedontothelessonoutoftheOldTestament。Seriozharecountedtheeventsthemselveswellenough，butwhenhehadtoanswerquestionsastowhatcertaineventsprefigured，heknewnothing，thoughhehadalreadybeenpunishedoverthislesson。

Thepassageatwhichhewasutterlyunabletosayanything，andbeganfidgetingandcuttingthetableandswinginghischair，waswherehehadtotellofthepatriarchsbeforetheFlood。Hedidnotknowoneofthem，exceptEnoch，whohadbeentakenupalivetoheaven。Lasttimehehadrememberedtheirnames，butnowhehadforgottenthemutterly，chieflybecauseEnochwasthepersonagehelikedbestinthewholeoftheOldTestament，andEnoch’stranslationtoheavenwasconnectedinhismindwithawholelongtrainofthought，inwhichhebecameabsorbednowwhilehegazedwithfascinatedeyesathisfather’swatchchainandahalf-unbuttonedbuttononhiswaistcoat。

Indeath，ofwhichtheytalkedtohimsooften，Seriozhadisbelievedentirely。Hedidnotbelievethatthosehelovedcoulddie，aboveallthathehimselfwoulddie。Thatwastohimsomethingutterlyinconceivableandimpossible。Buthehadbeentoldallmendie；hehadaskedpeople，indeed，whomhetrusted，andthey，too，hadconfirmedit；hisoldnurse，too，saidthesame，thoughreluctantly。ButEnochhadnotdied，andsoitfollowedthateveryonedidnotdie。`AndwhycannotanyoneelsesoserveGodandbetakenalivetoheaven？’thoughtSeriozha。Badpeople-thatis，thoseSeriozhadidnotlike-mightdie，butthegoodmightallbelikeEnoch。

`Well，whatarethenamesofthepatriarchs？’

`Enoch，Enos-’

`Butyouhavesaidthatalready。Thisisbad。Seriozha，verybad。

Ifyoudon’ttrytolearnwhatismostnecessaryofallforaChristian，’

saidhisfather，gettingup，`whatevercaninterestyou？Iamdispleasedwithyou，andPiotrIgnatich’(thiswasthechiefpedagogue)`isdispleasedwithyou……Ishallhavetopunishyou。’

HisfatherandhisteacherwerebothdispleasedwithSeriozha，andhecertainlydidlearnhislessonsverybadly。Butstillitcouldnotbesaidhewasastupidboy。Onthecontrary，hewasfarclevererthantheboyshisteacherheldupasexamplestoSeriozha。Inhisfather’sopinion，hedidnotwanttolearnwhathewastaught。Inrealityhecouldnotlearnthat。Hecouldnot，becausetheclaimsofhisownsoulweremorebindingonhimthatthoseclaimshisfatherandhisteachermadeuponhim。Thoseclaimswereinopposition，andhewasindirectconflictwithhisgovernors。

Hewasnineyearsold；hewasachild；butheknewhisownsoul，itwasprecioustohim；heguardeditastheeyelidguardstheeye，andwithoutthekeyofloveheletnooneintohissoul。Histeacherscomplainedthathewouldnotlearn，whilehissoulwasbrimmingoverwiththirstforknowledge。AndhelearnedfromKapitonich，fromhisnurse，fromNadinka，fromVassiliiLukich-butnotfromhisteachers。Thespringhisfatherandhisteachersreckonedupontoturntheirmillwheelshadlongoozedatanotherplace，anditswatersdidtheirworkthere。

HisfatherpunishedSeriozhabynotlettinghimgotoseeNadinka，LidiaIvanovna’sniece；butthispunishmentturnedouthappilyforSeriozha。

VassiliiLukichwasinagoodhumor，andshowedhimhowtomakewindmills。

Thewholeeveningpassedoverthisworkandindreaminghowtomakeawindmillonwhichhecouldturnhimself-clutchingatthewingsortyinghimselfonandwhirlinground。OfhismotherSeriozhadidnotthinkalltheevening，but，whenhehadgonetobed，hesuddenlyrememberedher，andprayedinhisownwordsthattomorrowhismother，intimeforhisbirthday，mightleaveoffhidingherselfandcometohim。

`VassiliiLukich，doyouknowwhatIprayedfortonight-extrabesidetheregularthings？’

`Thatyoumightlearnyourlessonsbetter？’

`No。’

`Toys？’

`No。You’llneverguess。Asplendidthing-butit’sasecret。

WhenitcomestopassI’lltellyou。Can’tyouguess？’

`No，Ican’tguess。Youtellme，’saidVassiliiLukichwithasmile，whichwasrarewithhim。`Come，liedown，I’mputtingoutthecandle。’

`WithoutthecandleIcanseebetterwhatIseeandwhatIprayedfor。There！Iwasalmosttellingthesecret！’saidSeriozha，laughinggaily。

Whenthecandlewastakenaway，Seriozhaheardhismotherandfeltherpresence。Shestoodoverhim，andherlovinggazecaressedhim。

Butthencamewindmills-apenknife-everythingbecameconfused，andhefellasleep。

[NextChapter][TableofContents]

TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart5，Chapter28[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter28OnarrivinginPeterburg，VronskyandAnnastayedatoneofthebesthotels；

Vronskyapartinalowerstory，Annaabovewithherchild，itsnurse，andhermaid，inalargesuiteoffourrooms。

OnthedayofhisarrivalVronskywenttohisbrother’s。Therehefoundhismother，whohadcomefromMoscowonbusiness。Hismotherandsister-in-lawgreetedhimasusual:theyaskedhimabouthisstayabroad，andtalkedoftheircommonacquaintances，butdidnotletdropasinglewordinallusiontohisconnectionwithAnna。HisbrothercamenextmorningtoseeVronsky，andofhisownaccordaskedhimabouther，andAlexeiVronskytoldhimdirectlythathelookeduponhisconnectionwithMadameKareninaasmarriage；thathehopedtoarrangeadivorce，andthentomarryher，anduntilthenheconsideredherasmuchawifeasanyotherwife，andhebeggedhimtotelltheirmotherandhiswifeso。

`Iftheworlddisapproves，Idon’tcare，’saidVronsky；`butifmyrelationswanttobeontermsofrelationshipwithme，theywillhavetobeonthesametermswithmywife。’

Theelderbrother，whohadalwaysarespectforhisyoungerbrother’sjudgment，couldnotwelltellwhetherhewasrightornottilltheworldhaddecidedthequestion；forhisparthehadnothingagainstit，andwithAlexeihewentuptoseeAnna。

Beforehisbrother，asbeforeeveryone，VronskyaddressedAnnawithacertainformality，treatingherashemightaveryintimatefriend，butitwasunderstoodthathisbrotherknewtheirrealrelations，andtheytalkedaboutAnna’sgoingtoVronsky’sestate。

InspiteofallhissocialexperienceVronskywas，inconsequenceofthenewpositioninwhichhewasplaced，laboringunderastrangemisapprehension。

OnewouldhavethoughthemusthaveunderstoodthatsocietywasclosedforhimandAnna；butnowsomevagueideashadsprungupinhisbrainthatthiswasonlythecaseinold-fashioneddays，andthatnow，withtherapidityofmodernprogress(hehadunconsciouslybecomebynowapartisanofeverysortofprogress)，theviewsofsocietyhadchanged，andthatthequestionoftheirreceptionbysocietywasfarfromdecided。`Ofcourse，’hethought，`shewouldnotbereceivedatCourt，butintimatefriendscan，andmust，lookatitintheproperlight。’

Onemaysitforseveralhoursatastretchwithone’slegscrossedinthesameposition，ifoneknowsthatthere’snothingtopreventone’schangingone’sposition；butifamanknowsthathemustremainsittingsowithcrossedlegs，thencrampscomeon，thelegsbegintotwitchandtostraintowardthespottowhichonewouldliketodrawthem。ThiswaswhatVronskywasexperiencinginregardtotheworld。Thoughatthebottomofhisheartheknewthattheworldwasshutonthem，heputittothetestwhethertheworldhadnotchangedbynowandwouldnotreceivethem。

Butheveryquicklyperceivedthatthoughtheworldwasopenforhimpersonally，itwasclosedforAnna。Justasinthegameofcatandmouse，thehandsraisedforhimweredroppedtobarthewayforAnna。

OneofthefirstladiesofPeterburgsocietywhomVronskysawwashiscousinBetsy。

`Atlast！’shegreetedhimjoyfully。`AndAnna？HowgladIam！

Whereareyoustopping？IcanfancyafteryourdelightfultravelsyoumustfindourpoorPeterburghorrid。IcanfancyyourhoneymooninRome。Howaboutthedivorce？Isthatallover？’

VronskynoticedthatBetsy’senthusiasmwanedwhenshelearnedthatnodivorcehadasyettakenplace。

`Peoplewillcastastoneatme，Iknow，’shesaid，`butIshallcomeandseeAnna；yes，Ishallcertainlycome。Youwon’tbeherelong，Isuppose？’

AndshedidcertainlycometoseeAnnathesameday，buthertonewasnotatallthesameasinformerdays。Sheunmistakablypridedherselfonhercourage，andwishedAnnatoappreciatethefidelityofherfriendship。

Sheonlystayedtenminutes，talkingofsocietynews，andonleavingshesaid:

`You’venevertoldmewhenthedivorceistobe？SupposingI’mreadytoflingmycapoverthemill，otherstarchypeoplewillgiveyouthecoldshoulderuntilyou’remarried。Andthat’ssosimplenowadays。

Casefait。Soyou’regoingonFriday？Sorryweshan’tseeeachotheragain。’

FromBetsy’stoneVronskymighthavegraspedwhathehadtoexpectfromtheworld；buthemadeanothereffortinhisownfamily。Hismotherhedidnotreckonupon。Heknewthathismother，whohadbeensoenthusiasticoverAnnaattheirfirstacquaintance，wouldhavenomercyonhernowforhavingruinedherson’scareer。ButhehadmorehopeofVaria，hisbrother’swife。Hefanciedshewouldnotcastastone，andwouldgosimplyanddirectlytoseeAnna，andwouldreceiveherinherownhouse。

ThedayafterhisarrivalVronskywenttoher，andfindingheralone，expressedhiswishesdirectly。

`Youknow，Alexei，’shesaidafterhearinghim，`howfondIamofyou，andhowreadyIamtodoanythingforyou；butIhavenotspoken，becauseIknewIcouldbeofnousetoyouandtoAnnaArkadyevna，’shesaid，articulatingthename`AnnaArkadyevna’withparticularcare。`Don’tsuppose，please，thatIjudgeher。Never！PerhapsinherplaceIshouldhavedonethesame。Idon’tandcan’tenterintothat，’shesaid，glancingtimidlyathisgloomyface。`Butonemustcallthingsbytheirnames。Youwantmetogoandseeher，toaskherhere，andtorehabilitateherinsociety；butdounderstandthatIcannotdoso。Ihavedaughtersgrowingup，andImustliveintheworldformyhusband’ssake。Well，I’mreadytocomeandseeAnnaArkadyevna-shewillunderstandthatIcan’taskherhere，orIshouldhavetodosoinsuchawaythatshewouldnotmeetpeoplewholookatthingsdifferently；thatwouldoffendher。Ican’traiseher……’

`Oh，Idon’tregardherashavingfallenmorethanhundredsofwomenyoudoreceive！’Vronskyinterruptedherstillmoregloomily，andhegotupinsilence，understandingthathissister-in-law’sdecisionwasnottobeshaken。

`Alexei！Don’tbeangrywithme。PleaseunderstandthatI’mnottoblame，’beganVaria，lookingathimwithatimidsmile。

`I’mnotangrywithyou，’hesaidstillasgloomily；`butthisisdoublypainfultome。I’msorry，too，thatthismeansbreakingupourfriendship-ifnotbreakingup，atleastweakeningit。Youwillunderstandthatforme，too，itcannotbeotherwise。’

Andwiththathelefther。

Vronskyknewthatfurthereffortswereuseless，andthathehadtospendthesefewdaysinPeterburgasthoughinastrangetown，avoidingeverysortofrelationwithhisownoldcircleinordernottobeexposedtotheannoyancesandhumiliationswhichweresointolerabletohim。OneofthemostunpleasantfeaturesofhispositioninPeterburgwasthatAlexeiAlexandrovichandhisnameseemedtomeethimeverywhere。HecouldnotbegintotalkofanythingwithouttheconversationturningonAlexeiAlexandrovich，hecouldnotgoanywherewithoutriskofmeetinghim。SoatleastitseemedtoVronsky，justasitseemstoamanwithasorefingerthatheiscontinually，asthoughonpurpose，grazinghissorefingeragainsteverything。

TheirstayinPeterburgwasthemorepainfultoVronskybecauseheperceivedallthetimeasortofnewmoodhecouldnotunderstandinAnna。Atonetimeshewouldseeminlovewithhim，andthenextshewouldbecomecold，irritable，andimpenetrable。Shewasworryingoversomething，andkeepingsomethingbackfromhim，anddidnotseemtonoticethehumiliationswhichpoisonedhisexistence，andwhichforher，withherdelicateintuition，musthavebeenstillmoreunbearable。

[NextChapter][TableofContents]

TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart5，Chapter29[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter29OneofAnna’sobjectsincomingbacktoRussiahadbeentoseeherson。

FromthedaysheleftItalythethoughtofseeinghimhadneverceasedtoagitateher。And，asshegotnearertoPeterburg，thedelightandimportanceofthismeetinggrewevergreaterinherimagination。Shedidnotevenputtoherselftheproblemofhowtoarrangeit。Itseemedtohernaturalandsimpletoseehersonwhensheshouldbeinthesametownwithhim。

ButonherarrivalinPeterburgshewassuddenlymadedistinctlyawareofherpresentpositioninsociety，andshegraspedthefactthattoarrangethismeetingwasnoeasymatter。

ShehadnowbeentwodaysinPeterburg。Thethoughtofhersonneverleftherforasingleinstant，butshehadnotyetseenhim。Togostraighttothehouse，whereshemightmeetAlexeiAlexandrovich-thatshefeltshehadnorighttodo。Shemightberefusedadmittanceandinsulted。

Towriteandsoenterintorelationswithherhusband-thethoughtofdoingthatmadehermiserable；shecouldonlybeatpeacewhenshedidnotthinkofherhusband。Togetaglimpseofhersonoutwalking，findingoutwhereandwhenhewentout，wasnotenoughforher；shehadsolookedforwardtothismeeting，shehadsomuchshemustsaytohim，shesolongedtoembracehim，tokisshim。Seriozha’soldnursemightbeahelptoherandshowherwhattodo。ButthenursewasnotnowlivinginAlexeiAlexandrovich’shouse。Inthisuncertainty，andineffortstofindthenurse，twodayshadslippedby。

HearingofthecloseintimacybetweenAlexeiAlexandrovichandCountessLidiaIvanovna，Annadecidedonthethirddaytowriteheraletter，whichcosthergreatpains，andinwhichsheintentionallysaidthatpermissiontoseehersonmustdependonherhusband’smagnanimity。Sheknewthatiftheletterwereshowntoherhusband，hewouldkeepuphisroleofmagnanimity，andwouldnotrefuseherrequest。

Thecommissionairewhotooktheletterhadbroughtherbackthemostcruelandunexpectedanswer-thattherewasnoanswer。Shehadneverfeltsohumiliatedasatthemomentwhen，sendingforcommissionaire，sheheardfromhimtheexactaccountofhowhehadwaited，andhowafterwardhehadbeentoldtherewasnoanswer。Annafelthumiliated，insulted，butshesawthatfromherpointofviewCountessLidiaIvanovnawasright。

Hersufferingwasthemorepoignantsinceshehadtobearitinsolitude。

ShecouldnotandwouldnotshareitwithVronsky。Sheknewthattohim，althoughhewastheprimarycauseofherdistress，thequestionofherseeinghersonwouldseemamatterofverylittleconsequence。Sheknewthathewouldneverbecapableofunderstandingallthedepthofhersuffering，thatforhiscooltoneatanyallusiontoitshewouldbegintohatehim。

Andshedreadedthatmorethananythingintheworld，andsoshehidfromhimeverythingthatrelatedtoherson。

Spendingthewholedayathomesheconsideredwaysofseeingherson，andhadreachedadecisiontowritetoherhusband。ShewasjustcomposingthisletterwhenshewashandedtheletterfromLidiaIvanovna。TheCountess’ssilencehadsubduedanddepressedher，buttheletter，allthatshereadbetweenthelinesinit，soexasperatedher，thismalicewassorevoltingbesideherpassionate，legitimatetendernessforherson，thatsheturnedagainstotherpeopleandleftoffblamingherself。

`Thiscoldnessissimulationoffeeling！’shesaidtoherself。

`Theymustneedsinsultmeandtorturethechild，andIamtosubmittoit！Notonanyconsideration！SheisworsethanIam。Idon’tlie，anyway。’

Andshedecidedonthespotthatnextday，Seriozha’sbirthday，shewouldgostraighttoherhusband’shouse，bribetheservants，deceivethepeople，butatanycostseehersonandoverturnthehideousdeceptionwithwhichtheywereen