ANNA KARENINA

第4章

`Whoisit?’sheaskedherself。`All-orone?’Andwithoutkeepingupherendoftheconversation,thethreadofwhichtheharassedyoungmanshewasdancingwithlostandcouldnotpickupagain,sheobeyedwithexternallivelinesstheperemptoryshoutsofKorsunskystartingthemallintothegrandrond,andthenintothechaine,andatthesametimeshekeptwatchwithagrowingpangatherheart。`No,it’snotadmirationofthecrowdthathasintoxicatedher,buttheadorationofone。Andthatone?Canitbehe?’EverytimehespoketoAnnathejoyouslightflashedintohereyes,andthesmileofhappinesscurvedherredlips。Sheseemedtomakeanefforttocontrolherself,inordernottoshowthesesignsofdelight,buttheyappearedonherfaceofthemselves。

`Butwhatofhim?’Kittylookedathimandwashorrified。WhatwaspicturedsoclearlytoKittyinthemirrorofAnna’sfaceshesawinhim。Whathadbecomeofhisalwayscalm,firmmanner,andthecarelesslycalmexpressionofhisface?Noweverytimeheturnedtoherhebenthishead,asthoughhewouldhavefallenatherfeet,andinhiseyestherewasnothingbuthumblesubmissionanddread。`Iwouldnotoffendyou,’hiseyesseemedtobesayingeachtime,`butIwanttosavemyself,andIdon’tknowhow。’

OnhisfacewasalooksuchasKittyhadneverseenbefore。

Theywerespeakingofcommonacquaintances,keepingupthesmallestofsmalltalk,buttoKittyitseemedthateverywordtheysaidwasdeterminingtheirfateandhers。Andstrangelyenough,althoughtheywereactuallytalkingofhowabsurdIvanIvanovichwaswithhisFrench,andhowtheEletskygirlmighthavemadeabettermatch,thesewordswereyetfraughtwithsignificanceforthem,andtheysensedthisasmuchasKittydid。Thewholeball,thewholeworld,everythingseemedscreenedbyafogwithinKitty’ssoul。Nothingbutthesterndisciplineofherbringing-upsupportedherandforcedhertodowhatwasexpectedofher-thatis,todance,toanswerquestions,totalk,eventosmile。Butbeforethemazurka,whentheywerebeginningtorearrangethechairsandafewcouplesmovedoutofthesmallerroomsintothebigroom,amomentofdespairandhorrorcameforKitty。

Shehadrefusedfivepartners,andnowshewasnotdancingthemazurka。

Shehadnotevenahopeofbeingaskedforit,becauseshewassosuccessfulinsocietythattheideawouldneveroccurtoanyonethatshehadremaineddisengagedtillnow。Shewouldhavetotellhermothershefeltillandgohome,yetshehadnotthestrengthtodothis。Shefeltcrushed。

Shewenttothefarthestendoftheseconddrawingroomandsankintoalowchair。Herlight,transparentskirtsroselikeacloudaboutherslenderwaist;onebare,thin,soft,girlisharm,hanginglistlessly,waslostinthefoldsofherpinktunic;intheothersheheldherfanandwithrapid,shortstrokesfannedherburningface。Yet,whileshelookedlikeabutterflyclingingtoabladeofgrass,andjustabouttoopenitsrainbowwingsforfreshflight,herheartachedwithahorribledespair。

`ButperhapsIamwrong-perhapsitwasnotso?’Andagainsherecalledallshehadseen。

`Kitty,whatisit?’saidCountessNordstone,steppingnoiselesslyoverthecarpettowardher。`Idon’tunderstandit。’

Kitty’slowerlipbegantoquiver;shegotupquickly。

`Kitty,you’renotdancingthemazurka?’

`No,no,’saidKittyinavoiceshakingwithtears。

`Heaskedherforthemazurkainmypresence,’saidCountessNordstone,knowingKittywouldunderstandwhoheandherwere。`Shesaid:``Why,aren’tyougoingtodanceitwithPrincessShcherbatskaia?’’’

`Oh,itdoesn’tmattertome!’answeredKitty。

Noonebutsheherselfunderstoodherposition;nooneknewthatshehadrefusedyesterdaythemanwhomperhapssheloved,andrefusedhimbecauseshehadputherfaithinanother。

CountessNordstonefoundKorsunsky,withwhomshewastodancethemazurka,andtoldhimtoaskKitty。

Kittydancedinthefirstcouple,andluckilyforhershehadnottotalkbecauseKorsunskywasallthetimerunningabout,overseeinghisdemesne。VronskyandAnnaweresittingalmostoppositeher。Shesawthemwithherfarsightedeyes,andsawthem,too,closebywhentheymetinthefigures,andthemoreshesawofthemthemoreconvincedwasshethatherunhappinesswasconsummated。Shesawthattheyfeltthemselvesaloneinthiscrowdedroom。AndonVronsky’sface,alwayssofirmandindependent,shesawthelookthathadstruckher,ofbewildermentandhumblesubmissiveness,liketheexpressionofanintelligentdogwhenithasdonewrong。

Annasmiled-andhersmilewasreflectedbyhim。Shegrewthoughtful-andhebecameserious。SomesupernaturalforcedrewKitty’seyestoAnna’sface。Shewascharminginhersimpleblackdress;charmingwereherroundarmswiththeirbracelets;charmingwasherfirmneckwithitsthreadofpearls;charmingthestrayingcurlsofherloosehair;charmingthegraceful,lightmovementsofherlittlefeetandhands,charmingwasthatlovelyfaceinitsanimation-yettherewassomethingterribleandcruelinhercharm。

Kittyadmiredhermorethanever,andmoreandmoreacutedidhersufferinggrow。Kittyfeltcrushed,andherfaceshowedit。WhenVronskycaughtsightofher,cominguponherinthemazurka,hedidnotatoncerecognizeher,sochangedwasshe。

`Delightfulball!’hesaidtoher,merelyforthesakeofsayingsomething。

`Yes,’sheanswered。

Inthemiddleofthemazurka,repeatingacomplicatedfigure,newlyinventedbyKorsunsky,Annacameforwardintothecenterofthecircle,chosetwogentlemen,andsummonedKittyandanotherlady。Kittygazedatherindismayasshewentup。Annalookedatherwithdroopingeyelids,andsmiled,pressingherhand。But,noticingthatKittyonlyrespondedtohersmilebyalookofdespairandamazement,sheturnedawayfromher,andbegangailytalkingtotheotherlady。

`Yes,thereissomethinguncanny,devilishandcharmingabouther,’saidKittytoherself。

Annadidnotwanttostayforsupper,butthemasterofthehousebeganurgingher。

`Nonsense,AnnaArkadyevna,’saidKorsunskyplacingherbarehanduponhiscoatsleeve。`I’vesuchanideaforacotillon!Unbijou!’

Andhemovedgraduallyon,tryingtodrawheralongwithhim。

Theirhostsmiledapprovingly。

`No,I’mnotgoingtostay,’answeredAnna,smiling,but,inspiteofhersmile,bothKorsunskyandthemasterofthehousesawfromherresolutetonethatshewouldnotstay。

`No;why,asitis,IhavedancedmoreatyourballinMoscowthanIhaveallthewinterinPeterburg,’saidAnna,lookingroundatVronsky,whostoodnearher。`Imustrestalittlebeforemyjourney。’

`Areyoudefinitelygoingtomorrowthen?’askedVronsky。

`Yes,Isupposeso,’answeredAnna,asthoughwonderingattheboldnessofhisquestion;buttheirrepressible,quiveringbrillianceofhereyesandhersmilesethimonfireasshesaidit。

AnnaArkadyevnadidnotstaytosupper,butwenthome。

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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1,Chapter24[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter24`Yes,theremustbesomethingdisgusting,repulsiveaboutme,’reflectedLevin,ashelefttheShcherbatsky’s,andsetoutonfootforhisbrother’slodgings。`AndIdon’tgetonwithotherpeople。Pride,theysay。No,I

haven’tevenpride。IfIhadanypride,Ishouldnothaveputmyselfinsuchaposition。’AndhepicturedtohimselfVronsky,happy,good-natured,cleverandcalm-certainlyneverplacedintheawfulpositioninwhichhehadbeenthatevening。`Yes,shewasboundtochoosehim。Itmustbeso,andIcannotcomplainofanyoneoranything。Iammyselftoblame。

WhatrighthadItoimagineshewouldcaretojoinherlifetomine?WhoamI,andwhatamI?Anobody,notwantedbyanyone,norofusetoanybody。’

AndherecalledhisbrotherNikolai,anddweltwithpleasureonthethoughtofhim。`Isn’therightinsayingthateverythingintheworldisbadandvile?Andarewefairinourjudgment,presentandpast,ofbrotherNikolai?

Ofcourse,fromthepointofviewofProcophii,seeinghiminatorncloakandtipsy,he’sadespicableperson。ButIknowhimdifferently。Iknowhissoul,andknowthatwearealike。AndI,insteadofgoingtoseekhimout,wentouttodinner,andthencamehere。’Levinwalkeduptoalamppost,readhisbrother’saddress,whichwasinhispocketbook,andcalledacabby。

Allthelongwaytohisbrother’sLevinvividlyrecalledallthefacts,familiartohim,ofhisbrotherNikolai’slife。Herememberedhowhisbrother,whileattheuniversity,andforayearafterward,had,inspiteofthejeersofhiscompanions,livedlikeamonk,strictlyobservingallreligiousrites,servicesandfasts,andavoidingeverysortofpleasure-especiallywomen。Andnow,afterward,hehadallatoncebrokenout:hadassociatedwiththemosthorriblepeople,andrushedintothemostsenselessdebauchery。

Herememberedlaterthescandaloveraboy,whomhehadtakenfromthecountrytobringup,and,inafitofrage,hadsoviolentlybeatenthatproceedingswerebroughtagainsthimforpersonalinjury。Thenherememberedthescandalwithasharper,towhomhehadlostmoney,andgivenapromissorynote,andagainstwhomhehadhimselflodgedacomplaint,assertingthathehadcheatedhim。(ThiswasthemoneySergeiIvanovichhadpaid。)Thenherememberedhowhehadspentanightinapolicestationfordisorderlyconductinthestreet。HerememberedtheshamefulproceedingshehadinstitutedagainsthisbrotherSergeiIvanovich,accusinghimofnothavingpaidhim,apparently,hisshareofhismother’sestate;andthelastscandal,whenhehadgonetoaWesternprovinceinanofficialcapacity,andtherehadgotintotroubleforassaultingavillageelder……Itwasallhorriblyvile,yettoLevinitappearednotatallasvileasitinevitablywouldtothosewhodidnotknowNikolai,didnotknowallhisstory,didnotknowhisheart。

LevinrememberedthatwhenNikolaihadbeeninthedevoutstage,theperiodoffastsandmonksandchurchservices,whenhewasseekinginreligionasupportandacurbforhispassionatetemperament,everyone,farfromencouraginghim,hadjeeredathim-andLevinhad,too,withtheothers。Theyhadteasedhim,callinghimNoahandMonk;yet,whenhehadbrokenout,noonehadhelpedhim,buthadallturnedawayfromhim,withhorrorandloathing。

LevinfeltthatbrotherNikolai,inspiteofalltheuglinessofhislife,inhissoul,intheverydepthsofhissoul,wasnomoreinthewrongthanthepeoplewhodespisedhim。Hewasnottoblameforhavingbeenbornwithhisunbridledcharacterandsomepressureuponhisintellect。

Forhehadalwayswantedtobegood。`Iwilltellhimeverything,withoutreserve,andIwillmakehimspeakwithoutreserve,too,andI’llshowhimthatIlovehim,andthereforeunderstandhim,’Levinresolvedtohimself,as,towardeleveno’clock,hereachedthehotelofwhichhehadtheaddress。

`Atthetop,twelveandthirteen,’theporteransweredLevin’sinquiry。

`Athome?’

`Probablyheisathome。’

ThedoorofNo。12washalfopen,and,togetherwithastreakoflight,thereissuedthickfumesofcheap,poortobacco,andthesoundofavoice,unknowntoLevin;butheknewatoncethathisbrotherwasthere:herecognizedhiscough。

Ashewentinatthedoor,theunknownvoicewassaying:

`Italldependswithhowmuchjudgmentandknowledgethething’sdone。’

KonstantinLevinlookedinatthedoor,andsawthatthespeakerwasayoungmanwithanimmenseshockofhair,wearingaRussiancoat,andthatapock-markedyoungwomaninawoollengown,withoutcollarorcuffs,wassittingonthesofa。Hisbrotherwasnottobeseen。Konstantinfeltasharppangathisheartatthethoughtofthestrangecompanyinwhichhisbrotherspenthislife。Noonehadheardhim,andKonstantin,takingoffhisgaloshes,listenedtowhatthegentlemanintheRussiancoatwassaying。Hewasspeakingofsomeenterprise。

`Well,thedevilflaythem,theseprivilegedclasses,’hisbrother’svoiceresponded,withacough。`Masha!getussomesupper,andserveupsomewine,ifthere’sanyleft;orelsesendforsome。’

Thewomanrose,cameoutfrombehindthepartition,andsawKonstantin。

`There’ssomegentlemanhere,NikolaiDmitrievich,’shesaid。

`Whomdoyouwant?’saidthevoiceofNikolaiLevin,angrily。

`It’sI,’answeredKonstantinLevin,comingforwardintothelight。

`Who’sI?’Nikolai’svoicesaidagain,stillmoreangrily。Hecouldbeheardgettinguphurriedly,stumblingagainstsomething,andLevinsaw,facinghiminthedoorway,thebigscaredeyes,andthehuge,gaunt,stoopingfigureofhisbrother,sofamiliar,andyetastonishinginitsoddityandsickliness。

Hewaseventhinnerthanthreeyearsbefore,whenKonstantinLevinhadseenhimlast。Hewaswearingashortcoat,andhishandsandbigbonesseemedhugerthanever。Hishairhadgrownthinner,thesamestraightmustachehidhislips,thesameeyesgazedstrangelyandnaivelyathisvisitor。

`Ah,Kostia!’heexclaimedsuddenly,recognizinghisbrother,andhiseyeslightedupwithjoy。Butthesamesecondhelookedroundattheyoungman,andgavethenervousjerkofhisheadandneckthatKonstantinknewsowell,asifhiscravatwerechokinghim;andaquitedifferentexpression-wild,sufferingandcruel-restedonhisemaciatedface。

`IwrotetoyouandSergeiIvanovichboththatIdon’tknowyou,anddon’twanttoknowyou。Whatisityouwant?’

HewasnotatallthesameasKonstantinhadbeenfancyinghim。

Theworstandmostoppressivepartofhischaracter,whichmadeallrelationswithhimsodifficult,hadbeenforgottenbyKonstantinLevinwhenhethoughtofhim;andnow,whenhesawhisface,andespeciallythatnervoustwitchingofhishead,heremembereditall。

`Ididn’twanttoseeyouforanything,’heansweredtimidly。

`I’vesimplycometoseeyou。’

Hisbrother’stimidityobviouslysoftenedNikolai。Hislipstwitched。

`Oh,sothat’sit?’hesaid。`Well,comein;sitdown。Likesomesupper?Masha,bringsupperforthree。No,stopaminute。Doyouknowwhothisis?’hesaid,addressinghisbrother,andindicatingthegentlemanintheRussiancoat:`ThisisMr。Kritsky,afriendofmyKievdays-averyremarkableman。He’spersecutedbythepolice,ofcourse,sincehe’snotascoundrel。’

Andhesurveyed,asitwasahabitofhis,everyoneintheroom。

Seeingthatthewomanstandinginthedoorwaywasstartingtogo,heshoutedtoher。`Waitaminute,Isaid。’Andwiththatinabilitytoexpresshimself,theincoherencethatKonstantinknewsowell,hebegan,withanotherlookroundateveryone,totellKritsky’sstorytohisbrother:howhehadbeenexpelledfromtheuniversityforstartingabenevolentsocietyforthepoorstudents,andclassesonSunday,andhowhehadafterwardbeenateacherinaruralschool,andhadbeendrivenoutofthat,too;andhadafterwardbeenontrialforsomethingorother。

`You’reoftheKievUniversity?’saidKonstantinLevintoKritsky,tobreaktheawkwardsilencethatfollowed。

`Yes-IwasinKiev,’Kritskyrepliedangrily,hisfacedarkening。

`Andthiswoman,’NikolaiLevininterruptedhim,pointingtoher,`ismylifemate,MaryaNikolaevna。Itookheroutofadive,andhejerkedhisneckashesaidit。`ButIloveherandrespecther,andanyonewhowantstoknowme,’headded,raisinghisvoiceandknittinghisbrows,`isrequestedtoloveherandrespecther。She’spreciselythesameasawifetome-precisely。Sonowyouknowwhomyou’vegottodowith。Andifyouthinkyou’reloweringyourself-well,there’sthedoor,andGodspeedthee!’

Andagainhiseyestraveledinquiringlyoverallofthem。

`ButhowwillIlowermyself?Idon’tunderstand。’

`Then,Masha,tellthemtobringsupper;threeportions,andvodkaandwine……No,waitaminute……No,itdoesn’tmatter……Goahead。’

[NextChapter][TableofContents]TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1,Chapter25[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter25`Soyousee,’pursuedNikolaiLevin,painfullywrinklinghisforeheadandtwitching。

Itwasobviouslydifficultforhimtothinkofwhattosayanddo。

`Here,doyousee?……Hepointedtosomesortofshortironbars,fastenedtogetherwithtwine,lyinginacorneroftheroom。`Doyouseethat?That’sthebeginningofanewenterprisewe’regoinginto。Thisenterprisewillbeanindustrialassociation……’

Konstantinscarcelyheardhim。Helookedintohissickly,consumptiveface,andhewasmoreandmoresorryforhim,andhecouldnotforcehimselftolistentowhathisbrotherwastellinghimabouttheassociation。Hesawthatthisassociationwasamereanchortosavehimfromself-contempt。

NikolaiLevinwentontalking:

`Youknowthatcapitaloppressestheworker。Ourworkers,themouzhiks,bearalltheburdenoflabor,andaresoplacedthat,nomatterhowmuchtheywork,theycan’tescapefromtheirpositionofbeastsofburden。Alltheprofitsoflabor,onwhichtheymightimprovetheirposition,andgainleisureforthemselves,andafterthateducation-allthesurplusvalues,aretakenfromthembythecapitalists。Andsocietyissoconstitutedthatthehardertheywork,thegreatertheprofitofthemerchantsandlandowners,whiletheystaybeastsofburdentotheend。Andthatstateofthingsmustbechanged,’hefinishedup,andlookedquestioninglyathisbrother。

`Yes,ofcourse,’saidKonstantin,lookingatthepatchofredthathadcomeoutonhisbrother’sprojectingcheekbones。

`Andsowe’refoundingalocksmith’sassociation,wherealltheproductionandprofit,andthechiefinstrumentsofproduction-everything-willbeincommon。’

`Whereistheassociationtobe?’askedKonstantinLevin。

`InthevillageofVozdrem,governmentofKazan。’

`Butwhyinavillage?Inthevillages,Ithink,thereisplentyofworkasitis。Whyalocksmith’sassociationinavillage?’

`Why?Becausethepeasantsarejustasmuchslavesastheyeverwere,andthat’swhyyouandSergeiIvanovichdon’tlikepeopletotryandgetthemoutoftheirslavery,’saidNikolaiLevin,exasperatedbytheobjection。

KonstantinLevinsighed,lookingmeanwhileaboutthecheerlessanddirtyroom。ThissighseemedtoexasperateNikolaistillmore。

`IknowSergeiIvanovich’s,andyour,aristocraticviews。Iknowthatheappliesallthepowerofhisintellecttojustifyexistingevils。’

`Isay,whydoyoutalkofSergeiIvanovich?’Levinletdrop,smiling。

`SergeiIvanovich?I’lltellyouwhy!’NikolaiLevinshriekedsuddenlyatthenameofSergeiIvanovich。`I’lltellyouwhy……Butwhat’stheuseoftalking?There’sonlyonething……Whatdidyoucometomefor?

Youlookdownonallthis;verywell,then;butgoaway,inGod’sname-goaway!’heshrieked,gettingupfromhischair。`Goaway-goaway!’

`Idon’tlookdownonitatall,’saidKonstantinLevintimidly。

`Idon’tevendisputeit。’

AtthatinstantMaryaNikolaevnacameback。NikolaiLevinlookedroundangrilyather。Shewentquicklytohim,andwhisperedsomething。

`I’mnotwell;I’vegrownirritable,’saidNikolaiLevin,gettingcalmerandbreathingpainfully;`andthenyoutalktomeofSergeiIvanovichandhisessay。It’ssuchrubbish,suchlying,suchself-deception!Whatcanamanwriteaboutjusticewhoknowsnothingofit?Haveyoureadhisessay?’heturnedtoKritsky,sittingdownagainatthetable,andclearingaspaceforhimselfbypushingbacksomehalf-madecigarettes。

`Ihaven’t,’Kritskyrespondedgloomily,obviouslynotdesiringtoenterintotheconversation。

`Whynot?’saidNikolaiLevin,nowturningwithexasperationuponKritsky。

`BecauseIdidn’tseetheuseofwastingmytimeoverit。’

`Oh,ifyouplease-howdidyouknowitwouldbewastingyourtime?Thatessay’stoodeepformanypeople-thatistosay,it’sovertheirheads。Butit’sdifferentwithme,Iseethroughhisideas,andI

knowwhereintheessay’sweaknesslies。’

Theyallfellsilent。Kritskygotupsluggishlyandreachedforhiscap。

`Won’tyouhavesupper?Allright,good-by!Comeroundtomorrowwiththelocksmith。’

KritskyhadhardlygoneoutwhenNikolaiLevinsmiledandwinked。

`He,too,ispoorstuff,’hesaid。`ForIcansee……’

ButatthatinstantKritsky,atthedoor,calledhim。

`Whatdoyouwantnow?’hesaid,andwentouttohiminthepassage。

LeftalonewithMaryaNikolaevna,Levinturnedtoher。

`Haveyoubeenlongwithmybrother?’hesaidtoher。

`Yes,morethanayear。Hishealthhasbecomeverypoor。Hedrinksagreatdeal,’shesaid。

`Justhow?’

`Hedrinksvodka,andit’sbadforhim。’

`Andagreatdeal?’whisperedLevin。

`Yes,’shesaid,lookingtimidlytowardthedoorway,whereNikolaiLevinhadreappeared。

`Whatwereyoutalkingabout?’hesaid,knittinghisbrows,andturninghisscaredeyesfromonetotheother。`Whatwasit?’

`Oh,nothing,’Konstantinansweredinconfusion。

`Oh,ifyoudon’twanttosay,don’t。Onlyit’snogoodyourtalkingtoher。She’sawench,andyou’reagentleman,’hesaid,withajerkoftheneck。`Youunderstandeverything,Isee,andhavetakenstockofeverything,andlookwithcommiserationonmytransgressions,’hebeganagain,raisinghisvoice。

`NikolaiDmitrich,NikolaiDmitrich,’whisperedMaryaNikolaevna,againgoinguptohim。

`Oh,verywell,verywell!……Butwhere’sthesupper?Ah,hereitis,’hesaid,seeingawaiterwithatray。`Here,setithere,’headdedangrily,andpromptlyseizingthevodka,hepouredoutaponyanddrankitgreedily。`Likeadrink?’heturnedtohisbrother,andatoncebecamebetter-humored。`Well,enoughofSergeiIvanovich。I’mgladtoseeyou,anyway。Afterall’ssaidanddone,we’renotstrangers。Come,haveadrink。

Tellmewhatyou’redoing,’hewenton,greedilymunchingapieceofbread,andpouringoutanotherpony。`Howarethingswithyou?’

`Ilivealoneinthecountry,asIalwayshave。I’mbusylookingaftertheland,’answeredKonstantin,watchingwithhorrorthegreedinesswithwhichhisbrotherateanddrank,andtryingtoconcealthathenoticedit。

`Whydon’tyougetmarried?’

`Noopportunityhaspresenteditself,’Konstantinanswered,reddening。

`Whynot?Formenow,everything’satanend!I’vemadeamessofmylife。ButthisI’vesaid,andIsaystill,thatifmysharehadbeengivenmewhenIneededit,mywholelifewouldhavebeendifferent。’

Konstantinmadehastetochangetheconversation。

`DoyouknowyourlittleVania’swithme-aclerkinthecountinghouseatPokrovskoe?’

Nikolaijerkedhisneck,andsankintothought。

`Yes,tellmewhat’sgoingonatPokrovskoe。Isthehousestillstanding,andthebirchtrees,andourschoolroom?AndPhilipthegardener-isheliving?HowIrememberthesummerhouseandthesofa!Nowmindanddon’talteranythinginthehouse,butmakehasteandgetmarried,andmakeeverythingasitusedtobeagain。ThenI’llcomeandseeyou,ifyourwifeisafinewoman。’

`Why,cometomenow,’saidLevin。`Howsnuglywecouldsettledown!’

`I’dcomeandseeyouifIweresureIshouldn’tfindSergeiIvanovich。’

`Youwouldn’tfindhimthere。Ilivequiteindependentlyofhim。’

`Yes,butsaywhatyoulike,youhavetochoosebetweenmeandhim,’hesaid,lookingtimidlyintohisbrother’sface。

ThistimiditytouchedKonstantin。

`Ifyouwanttohearmyconfessionoffaithonthesubject,I

tellyouthatinyourquarrelwithSergeiIvanovichItakeneitherside。

You’rebothwrong。You’reratherwrongoutwardly,andhe,ratherinwardly。’

`Ah,ah!Youseethat,youseethat!’Nikolaishoutedjoyfully。

`ButIpersonallyvaluefriendlyrelationswithyoumorebecause……’

`Why,why?’

KonstantincouldnotsaythathevalueditmorebecauseNikolaiwasunhappy,andneededaffection。ButNikolaiknewthatthiswasjustwhathemeanttosay,andscowlinghetooktothevodkaagain。

`Enough,NikolaiDmitrich!’saidMaryaNikolaevna,stretchingoutherplump,barearmtowardthedecanter。

`Letitbe!Don’tannoyme!I’llbeatyou!’heshouted。

MaryaNikolaevnasmiledasweetandgood-humoredsmile,whichwasatoncereflectedonNikolai’sface,andwhiskedthedecanteroff。

`Anddoyousupposesheunderstandsnothing?’saidNikolai。`Sheunderstandseverythingbetterthanallofus。Tellthetruth-isn’ttheresomethinggoodandsweetabouther?’

`WereyouneverbeforeinMoscow?’Konstantinsaidtoher,forthesakeofsayingsomething。

`Onlyyoumustn’tbeformalwithher。Itfrightensher。Nooneeverspoketohersobutthejusticeofthepeacewhotriedherfortryingtogetoutofahouseofillfame。MyGod,whatsenselessnessthereisinthisworld!’hecriedsuddenly。`Thesenewinstitutions,thesejusticesofthepeace,theseZemstvo-whathideousnessitallis!’

Andhebegantoenlargeonhisencounterswiththenewinstitutions。

KonstantinLevinlistenedtohim,andthatdisbeliefinthesenseofallpublicinstitutions,whichhesharedwithhim,andoftenexpressed,wasnowdistastefultohim,comingfromhisbrother’slips。

`Intheotherworldweshallunderstanditall,’hesaidlightly。

`Intheotherworld?Ah,Idon’tlikethatotherworld!Idon’tlikeit,’hesaid,lettinghisscaredwildeyesrestonhisbrother’sface。

`Hereonewouldthinkthattogetoutofallthebasenessandthemess,one’sownandotherpeople’s,wouldbeagoodthing,andyetI’mafraidofdeath,awfullyafraidofdeath。’Heshuddered。`Butdodrinksomething。

Wouldyoulikesomechampagne?Orshallwegosomewhere?Let’sgotothegypsies!Doyouknow,I’vegottenveryfondofthegypsies,andofRussiansongs。’

Hisspeechhadbeguntofalter,andheskippedatrandomfromonesubjecttoanother。Konstantin,withthehelpofMasha,persuadedhimnottogooutanywhere,andgothimtobedhopelesslydrunk。

MashapromisedtowritetoKonstantinincaseofneed,andtopersuadeNikolaitogoandstaywithhisbrother。

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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1,Chapter26[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter26InthemorningKonstantinLevinleftMoscow,andtowardeveninghereachedhome。Onthejourneyinthetrainhetalkedtohisfellowtravelersaboutpoliticsandthenewrailways,and,justasinMoscow,hewasovercomebyasenseofconfusionofideas,bydissatisfactionwithhimself,andshameofsomethingorother。Butwhenhegotoutathisownstation,whenhesawhisone-eyedcoachmanIgnat,withthecollarofhiscoatturnedup;when,inthedimlightfallingthroughthestationwindows,hesawhisowncarpetedsledge,hisownhorseswiththeirtailsup,intheirharnesstrimmedwithringsandtassels;whenthecoachmanIgnat,asheputinhisluggage,toldhimthevillagenews-thatthecontractorhadarrived,andthatPavahadcalved-hefeltthatlittlebylittletheconfusionwasclearingup,andtheshameandself-dissatisfactionwerepassingaway。

HefeltthisatthemeresightofIgnatandthehorses;buthebegantoseewhathadhappenedtohiminquiteadifferentlight,whenhehadputonthesheepskincoatbroughtforhim,and,allmuffledup,hadtakenhisseatinthesleighandstartedoff,ponderingontheworkthatlaybeforehiminthevillage,andstaringattheoffhorse,thathadbeenformerlyhissaddlehorse,overridden,butaspiritedanimalfromtheDon。Hefelthimself,anddidnotwanttobeanyoneelse。Allhewantednowwastobebetterthanbefore。Inthefirstplace,heresolvedthatfromthatdayonhewouldgiveuphopingfortheextraordinaryhappinesswhichthemarriagewastoaffordhim,andconsequentlyhewouldnotdisdainthepresentso。

Inthesecondplace,hewouldneveragainlethimselfgivewaytolowpassion,thememoryofwhichhadsotorturedhimwhenhehadbeenmakinguphismindtopropose。Then,rememberinghisbrotherNikolai,heresolvedthathewouldneverallowhimselftoforgethim,thathewouldwatchhim,andnotlosesightofhim,soastobereadytohelpshouldthingsgoillwithhim。Andthatwouldbesoon,hefelt。Then,too,hisbrother’stalkofcommunism,whichhehadtreatedsolightlyatthetime,nowmadehimreflect。

Heconsideredanalterationineconomicconditionsnonsense;yethehadalwaysfelttheinjusticeofhisownabundanceincomparisonwiththepovertyofthecommonfolk,andhenowdeterminedthat,inordertofeelquiteintheright,thoughhehadworkedhardandlivedbynomeansluxuriouslybefore,hewouldnowworkstillharder,andwouldallowhimselfevenlessluxury。Andallthisseemedtohimsoeasyaconquestoverhimselfthathespentthewholedriveinmostpleasantreveries。Withalivelyfeelingofhopeinanew,betterlife,hedroveuptohishouseaboutnineo’clockatnight。

Thesnowofthelittlequadranglebeforethehousewaslitupbylightfallingfromthewindowsintheroomofhisoldnurse,AgathyaMikhailovna,whoperformedthedutiesofhousekeeperinhishouse。Shewasnotyetasleep。Kouzma,awakenedbyher,sleepyandbarefooted,ranoutontothesteps。Asetterbitch,Laska,leapedouttoo,almostupsettingKouzma,andwhining,rubbedagainstLevin’sknees,jumpingupandlonging,yetnotdaring,toputherforepawsonhischest。

`You’resoonreturned,mydear,’saidAgathyaMikhailovna。

`Igrewhomesick,AgathyaMikhailovna。EastorWest,homeisbest,’

heanswered,andwentintohisstudy。

Thestudywasgraduallylitupasthecandlewasbroughtin。Thefamiliardetailscameout:thestag’shorns;thebookshelves;theplainstovewithitswarm-hole,whichhadlongwantedmending;hisfather’ssofa,alargetable,and,onthetable,anopenbook,abrokenashtray,anotebookwithhishandwriting。Ashesawallthis,therecameoverhimforaninstantadoubtofthepossibilityofarrangingthenewlife,ofwhichhehadbeendreamingontheroad。Allthesetracesofhislifeseemedtoclutchhim,andtosaytohim:`No,you’renotgoingtogetawayfromus,andyou’renotgoingtobedifferent-butyou’regoingtobethesameasyou’vealwaysbeen:withdoubts,everlastingdissatisfactionwithyourself,vaineffortstoamend,andlapses,andeverlastingexpectationofahappinesswhichyouwon’tget,andwhichisn’tpossibleforyou。’

Butitwashisthingsthatsaidthistohim,whileanothervoiceinhisheartwastellinghimthathemustnotfallundertheswayofthepast,andthatonecandoanythingwithoneself。Andhearingthatvoice,hewentintothecornerwherestoodhistwodumbbells,ofonepoodeach,andbeganjerkingandpushingthemup,tryingtoinduceastateofwell-being。

Therewasacreakofstepsatthedoor。Hehastilyputdownthedumbbells。

Thebailiffcamein,andsaidthateverything,thankGod,waswell,butalsoinformedhimthatthebuckwheatinthenewdryingmachinehadbeenalittlescorched。ThispieceofnewsirritatedLevin。ThenewdryingmachinehadbeenconstructedandpartlyinventedbyLevin。Thebailiffhadalwaysbeenagainstthisdryingmachine,andnowitwaswithsuppressedtriumphthatheannouncedthatthebuckwheathadbeenscorched。Levinwasfirmlyconvincedthatifthebuckwheathadbeenscorcheditwasonlybecauseprecautionshadnotbeentaken,forwhichhehadhundredsoftimesgivenorders。Hewasannoyed,andreprimandedthebailiff。Buttherehadbeenanimportantandjoyfulevent:Pava,hisbestcow,anexpensivebeast,boughtatashow,hadcalved。

`Kouzma,givememysheepskincoat。Andyou,dotellthemtofetchalantern-I’mgoingtohavealookather,’hesaidtothebailiff。

Thecowhouseforthemorevaluablecowswasjustbehindthehouse。

Walkingacrosstheyard,passingasnowdriftbythelilactree,hewentintothecowhouse。Therecameawarm,steamysmellofdungwhenthefrozendoorwasopened,andthecows,astonishedattheunfamiliarlightofthelantern,stirredontheirfreshstraw。Hecaughtaglimpseofthebroad,smooth,blackandpiebaldbackofaDutchcow。Berkoot,thebull,waslyingdownwithhisringinhislip,andseemedabouttogetup,butthoughtbetterofit,andonlygavetwosnortsastheypassedbyhim。Pava,thereddishbeauty,hugeasahippopotamus,withherbackturnedtothem,screenedhercalffromthearrivalsandsniffeditallover。

Levinwentintothestall,lookedPavaover,andheftedthereddishandred-dappledcalfuponitsunsteady,spindlylegs。Pava,uneasy,beganlowing,butwhenLevinputthecalfclosetohershewassoothed,and,sighingheavily,beganlickingherwithherroughtongue。Thecalffumbling,pokeditsnoseunderitsmother’sgroin,andtwirleditstinytail。

`Bringthelighthere,Fiodor-bringthelanternhere,’saidLevin,examiningtheheifer。`Likethedam!thoughthecolortakesafterthesire。Aperfectbeauty!Long,andbroadinthehaunch。Isn’tsheabeautynow,VassiliiFiodorovich?’headdressedthebailiff,quiteforgivinghimforthebuckwheatundertheinfluenceofhisdelightintheheifer。

`Whatbadbloodcouldshetakeafter?-Semionthecontractorcamethedayafteryouleft。Youmustsettlewithhim,KonstantinDmitrich,’

saidthebailiff。`AndIhavealreadytoldyouaboutthemachine。’

ThismatteralonewasenoughtobringLevinbacktoallthedetailsofhisestate,whichwasonalargescale,andcomplicated。Hewentstraightfromthecowhousetothecountinghouse,and,afterashorttalkwiththebailiffandSemionthecontractor,hewentbacktothehouseandstraightupstairstothedrawingroom。

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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1,Chapter27[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter27Thehousewasbigandold-fashioned,andLevin,thoughhelivedalone,heatedandusedthewholehouse。Heknewthatthiswasstupid,heknewthatitwasevenwrong,andcontrarytohispresentnewplans,butthishousewasawholeworldtoLevin。Itwastheworldinwhichhisfatherandmotherhadlivedanddied。TheyhadlivedjustthelifethattoLevinseemedtheidealofperfection,andthathehaddreamedofrenewingwithhiswife,withhisfamily。

Levinscarcelyrememberedhismother。Hisconceptionofherwasforhimasacredmemory,andhisfuturewifewasboundtobe,inhisimagination,arepetitionofthatexquisite,holyidealofawomanthathismotherhadbeen。

Hewassofarfromconceivingofloveforwomanapartfrommarriagethathepositivelypicturedtohimselffirstthefamily,andonlysecondarilythewomanwhowouldgivehimafamily。Hisideasofmarriagewere,consequently,quiteunlikethoseofthegreatmajorityofhisacquaintances,forwhomgettingmarriedwasmerelyoneofthemanyaffairsofeverydaylife。ForLevinitwasthechiefaffairoflife,onwhichitswholehappinessturned。

Andnowhehadtogiveupthat!

Whenhehadgoneintotheseconddrawingroom,wherehealwayshadtea,andhadsettledhimselfinhisarmchairwithabook,andAgathyaMikhailovnahadbroughthimtea,andwithherusual,`Well,I’llstayawhile,mydear,’hadtakenachairatthewindow,hefeltthat,howeverstrangeitmightbe,hehadnotpartedfromhisdaydreams,andthathecouldnotlivewithoutthem。Whetherwithher,orwithanother-itwasstillboundtobe。Hewasreadinghisbook,ponderingonwhathewasreading,andpausingtolistentoAgathyaMikhailovna,whogossipedawaywithoutflagging,andyet,withallthat,allsortsofpicturesofhisworkandafuturefamilyliferosedisconnectedlybeforehisimagination。Hefeltthatinthedepthofhissoulsomethingwassteadying,settlingdown,andabating。

HeheardAgathyaMikhailovnatalkingofhowProkhorhadforgottenhisdutytoGod,and,withthemoneyLevinhadgivenhimtobuyahorse,hadbeendrinkingwithoutaletup,andhadbeatenhiswifetillhe’dhalf-killedher。Helistened,andreadhisbook,andrecalledthewholetrainofideassuggestedbyhisreading。ItwasTyndall’sTreatiseonHeat。HerecalledhisowncriticismsofTyndallforhisself-complacencyintheclevernessofhisexperiments,andforhislackofphilosophicinsight。Andsuddenlytherefloatedintohismindthejoyfulthought:`Intwoyear’stimeIshallhavetwoDutchcowsinmyherd;Pavaherselfwillperhapsstillbealive;

adozenyoungdaughtersofBerkoot,andthesethreeaddedforshow-itwouldbemarvelous!’Hetookuphisbookagain。`Nowwell,electricityandheatarethesamething;butisitpossibletosubstituteonequantityfortheotherinanequationforthesolutionofanyproblem?No。Well,thenwhatofit?Theconnectionbetweenalltheforcesofnatureisfeltinstinctively,anyway……It’llbeparticularlypleasantwhenPava’sdaughterwillbeared-dappledcowlikealltheherd,towhichtheotherthreeshouldbeadded!Splendid!I’llgooutwithmywifeandvisitorstomeettheherd……

Mywifesays,``KostiaandIlookedafterthatheiferlikeachild。’’``Howcanitinterestyousomuch?’’saysavisitor。``Everythingthatinterestshim,interestsme。’’Butwhowillshebe?’AndherememberedwhathadhappenedatMoscow……`Well,there’snothingtobedone……It’snotmyfault。

Butnoweverythingshallgooninanewway。It’snonsensetopretendthatlifewon’tletone,thatthepastwon’tletone。Onemuststruggletolivebetter-farbetter……’Heraisedhishead,andsankintothought。OldLaska,whohadnotyetfullydigestedherdelightathisreturn,andhadrunoutintotheyardtobark,camebackwagginghertail,andcreptuptohim,bringinginthescentofthefreshair,putherheadunderhishand,andyelpedplaintively,askingtobestroked。

`Ifshecouldbutspeak,’saidAgathyaMikhailovna。`Eventhoughit’sadog……Yetsheunderstandsthathermaster’scomehome,andthathe’slow-spirited。’

`Whylow-spirited?’

`DoyousupposeIdon’tseeit,mydear?It’shightimeIshouldknowthegentlefolk。Why,I’vegrownupfromalittlethingwiththem。

Nevermind,sir,solongasonehashealthandaclearconscience。’

Levinlookedintentlyather,surprisedathowwellshehadfathomedhisthoughts。

`ShallIfetchyouanothercup?’sheaskedand,takinghiscup,wentout。

Laskakeptpokingherheadunderhishand。Hestrokedher,andshepromptlycurledupathisfeet,layingherheadonaprotrudinghand-paw。

Andintokenofallnowbeingwellandsatisfactory,sheopenedhermouthalittle,smackedherlips,andsettlingherstickylipsmorecomfortablyaboutheroldteeth,shesankintoblissfulrespose。Levinwatchedherlastmovementsattentively。

`That’swhatI’lldo,’hesaidtohimself;`that’swhatI’lldo!

Nevermind……All’swell。’

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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1,Chapter28[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter28Aftertheball,earlynextmorning,AnnaArkadyevnasentherhusbandatelegramthatshewasleavingMoscowthesameday。

`No,Imustgo,Imustgo’;sheexplainedthechangeinherplanstohersister-in-law,inatonethatsuggestedthatshehadtoremembersomanythingsthattherewasnoenumeratingthem:`no,really,ithadbetterbetoday!’

StepanArkadyevichwasnotdiningathome,buthepromisedtocomeandseehissisteroffatseveno’clock。

Kitty,too,didnotcome,sendinganotethatshehadaheadache。

DollyandAnnadinedalonewiththechildrenandtheEnglishgoverness。

Whetheritwasbecausechildrenarefickle,orbecausetheyhaveacutesenses,andtheyfeltthatAnnawasquitedifferentthatdayfromwhatshehadbeenwhentheyhadtakensuchafancytoher,thatshewasnotnowinterestedinthem-theyhadabruptlydroppedtheirplaywiththeiraunt,andtheirloveforher,andwerequiteindifferenttoherleaving。

Annawasabsorbedthewholemorninginpreparationsforherdeparture。

ShewrotenotestoherMoscowacquaintances,jotteddownheraccounts,andpacked。AltogetherDollyfanciedshewasnotinaplacidstateofmind,butinthatworriedmoodwhichDollyknewsowellinherowncase,andwhichdoesnotcomewithoutcause,andforthemostpartcoversdissatisfactionwithoneself。Afterdinner,Annawentuptoherroomtodress,andDollyfollowedher。

`Howqueeryouaretoday!’Dollysaidtoher。

`I?Doyouthinkso?I’mnotqueer,butI’mnasty。Iamlikethatsometimes。IkeepfeelingasifIcouldcry。It’sverystupid,butit’llpassoff,’saidAnnaquickly,andshebentherflushedfaceoveratinybaginwhichshewaspackinganightcapandsomecambrichandkerchiefs。

Hereyeswereparticularlybright,andwerecontinuallydimmedwithtears。

`InthesamewayIdidn’twanttoleavePeterburg-andnowIdon’twanttogoawayfromhere。’

`Youcamehereanddidagooddeed,’saidDolly,lookingintentlyather。

Anna’seyeswerewetwithtearsasshelookedather。

`Don’tsaythat,Dolly。I’vedonenothing,andcoulddonothing。

Ioftenwonderwhypeopleareallinleaguetospoilme。WhathaveIdone,andwhatcouldIdo?Inyourhearttherewasfoundloveenoughtoforgive……’

Ifithadnotbeenforyou,Godknowswhatwouldhavehappened!

Howhappyyouare,Anna!’saidDolly。`Everythingisclearandgoodinyourheart。’

`Everyhearthasitsownskeleton,astheEnglishsay。’

`Youhavenosortofskeleton,haveyou?Everythingissoclearinyou。’

`Ihave!’saidAnnasuddenly,and,unexpectedlyafterhertears,asly,mockingsmilepuckeredherlips。

`Come,he’samusing,anyway,yourskeleton,andnotdepressing,’

saidDolly,smiling。

`No,heisdepressing。DoyouknowwhyI’mgoingtodayinsteadoftomorrow?Thisisaconfessionthatweighsonme;Iwanttomakeyouitsrecipient,’saidAnnaresolutelylettingherselfdropintoanarmchair,andlookingstraightintoDolly’sface。

AndtohersurpriseDollysawthatAnnawasblushinguptoherears,uptothecurlyblackringletsonherneck。

`Yes,’Annawenton。`DoyouknowwhyKittydidn’tcometodinner?

She’sjealousofme。Ihavespoiled……I’vebeenthecauseofthatballbeingatorturetoherinsteadofapleasure。Buttruly,truly,it’snotmyfault,oronlymyfaultalittlebit,’shesaid,daintilydrawlingthewords`alittlebit。’

`Oh,howlikeStivayousaidthat!’saidDolly,laughing。

Annawashurt。

`Ohno,ohno!I’mnotStiva,’shesaid,knittingherbrows。`That’swhyI’mtellingyou,justbecauseIdonotevenforaninstantpermitmyselftodoubtaboutmyself,’saidAnna。

Butattheverymomentshewasutteringthewords,shefeltthattheywerenottrue。Shewasnotmerelydoubtingaboutherself-shefeltemotionatthethoughtofVronsky,andwasgoingawaysoonerthanshehadmeant,solelytoavoidmeetinghim。

`Yes,Stivatoldmeyoudancedthemazurkawithhim,andthathe……’

`Youcan’timaginehowabsurdlyitallcameabout。Ionlymeanttobematchmaking,andallatonceitturnedoutquitedifferently。Possiblyagainstmyownwill……’

Sheflushedandstopped。

`Oh,theyfeelitimmediately!’saidDolly。

`ButIshouldbeindespairiftherewereanythingseriousinitonhisside,’Annainterruptedher。`AndI’mcertainitwillallbeforgotten,andKittywillleaveoffhatingme。’

`Allthesame,Anna,totellyouthetruth,I’mnotveryanxiousforthismarriageforKitty。Andit’sbetteritshouldcometonothing,ifhe,Vronsky,iscapableoffallinginlovewithyouinasingleday。’

`Oh,heavens,thatwouldbetoosilly!’saidAnna,andagainadeepflushofpleasureappearedonherface,assheheardtheideathatabsorbedherputintowords。`AndsohereIam,goingaway,havingmadeanenemyofKitty,whomIlikedsomuch!Ah,howsweetsheis!Butyou’llmakeitright,Dolly?Eh?’

Dollycouldscarcelysuppressasmile。ShelovedAnna,butshewaspleasedtoseethatshe,too,hadherweaknesses。

`Anenemy?Thatcan’tbe。’

`Ididsowantyoualltocareforme,asIdoforyou,andnowIcareforyoumorethanever,’saidAnna,withtearsinhereyes。`Ah,howsillyIamtoday!’

Shepassedherhandkerchiefoverherfaceandbegandressing。

AttheverymomentofstartingStepanArkadyevicharrived,late,rosyandgood-humored,smellingofwineandcigars。

Anna’semotionalisminfectedDolly,andwhensheembracedhersister-in-lawforthelasttime,shewhispered:

`Remember,Anna,whatyou’vedoneforme-Ishallneverforget。

AndrememberthatIloveyou,andshallalwaysloveyouasmydearestfriend!’

`Idon’tknowwhy,’saidAnna,kissingherandhidinghertears。

`Youunderstandme,andstillunderstand。Good-by,mydarling!’

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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1,Chapter29[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter29`Now,it’sallover-Godbepraised!’wasthefirstthoughtthatcametoAnnaArkadyevna,whenshehadsaidgood-byforthelasttimetoherbrother,whohadstoodblockinguptheentrancetothecarriagetillthethirdbellrang。ShesatdownonherloungebesideAnnushka,andlookedaboutherinthetwilightofthesleepingcarriage。`ThankGod!tomorrowIshallseeSeriozhaandAlexeiAlexandrovich,andmylife,goodandfamiliar,willgoonintheoldway。’

Stillinthesameanxiousframeofmindinwhichshehadbeenallthatday,Annatookameticulouspleasureinmakingherselfcomfortableforthejourney。Withhertiny,defthandssheopenedandshutherlittleredbag,tookoutacushion,laiditonherknees,and,carefullywrappingupherfeet,settledherselfcomfortably。Aninvalidladyhadalreadylaindowntosleep。TwootherladiesbegantalkingtoAnna,andastoutelderlyladytuckedupherfeet,andmadeobservationsabouttheheatingofthetrain。Annaansweredtheladiesinafewwords,butnotforeseeinganyentertainmentfromtheconversation,sheaskedAnnushkatogetasmalllantern,hookeditonthearmofherseat,andtookfromherbagapaperknifeandanEnglishnovel。Atfirstshecouldnotgetinterestedinherreading。Thefussandstirweredisturbing;then,whenthetrainhadstarted,shecouldnothelplisteningtothenoises;thenthesnowbeatingontheleftwindowandstickingtothepane,andthesightofthemuffledguardpassingby,coveredwithsnowononeside,andtheconversationsabouttheterribleblizzardragingoutside,distractedherattention。Andafterthateverythingwasthesameandthesame:thesamejouncingandrattling,thesamesnowlashingthewindow,thesamerapidtransitionsfromsteamingheattocold,andbackagaintoheat,thesameflittingofthesamefacesinthehalf-murk,andthesamevoices;andthenAnnabegantoread,andtograspwhatsheread。Annushkawasalreadydozing,theredbagonherlap,clutchedbyherbroadhands,ingloves,ofwhichonewastorn。AnnaArkadyevnareadandgraspedthesense,yetitwasannoyingtohertoread-thatis,tofollowthereflectionofotherpeople’slives。Shehadtoogreatadesiretoliveherself。Ifshereadthattheheroineofthenovelwerenursingasickman,shelongedtomovewithnoiselessstepsabouthissickroom;ifshereadofamemberofParliamentdeliveringaspeech,shelongedtodeliverit;ifshereadofhowLadyMaryhadriddenafterthehounds,andhadprovokedhersister-in-law,andhadsurprisedeveryonebyherdaring-she,too,longedtobedoingthesame。Buttherewasnochanceofdoinganything;and,herlittlehandstoyingwiththesmoothpaperknife,sheforcedherselftoread。

TheheroofthenovelwasalreadybeginningtoattainhisEnglishhappiness,abaronetcy,andanestate,andAnnawasfeelingadesiretogowithhimtohisestate,whenshesuddenlyfeltthatheoughttofeelashamed,andthatshewasashamedofthesamething。Butwhatwasithewasashamedof?`WhathaveItobeashamedof?’sheaskedherselfininjuredsurprise。Sheabandonedthebookandsankagainstthebackofherchair,tightlygrippingthepaperknifeinbothhands。Therewasnothingtobeashamedof。ShewentoverallherMoscowrecollections。Allwerefine,pleasant。Sherecalledtheball,recalledVronskyandhisenamored,submissiveface;sherecalledallherconductwithhim-therewasnothingshameful。

Yet,withallthat,atthisverypointinherreminiscences,thefeelingofshamewasintensified,asthoughsomeinnervoice,preciselyhere,whensherecalledVronsky,weresayingtoher:`Warm,verywarm-hot!’`Well,whatisit?’shesaidtoherselfresolutely,shiftingonherseat。`Whatdoesitmean?AmIafraidtolookatthiswithoutblinking?Well,whatisit?Canitbethatbetweenmeandthisboy-officerthereexist,orcanexist,anyotherrelationsthansuchasarecommonwitheveryacquaintance?’

Shelaughedcontemptuouslyandtookupherbookagain;butnowshewasabsolutelyunabletomakesenseofwhatsheread。Shepassedthepaperknifeoverthewindowpane,thenlaiditssmooth,coolsurfacetohercheek,andalmostlaughedaloudattheunreasoningjoythatallatoncepossessedher。Shefeltthathernerves,likestrings,werebeingtautenedmoreandmoreuponsomekindoftighteningpeg。Shefelthereyesopeningwiderandwider,herfingersandtoestwitchingnervously,somethingwithinstoppingherbreathing,whileallimagesandsoundsseemedintheswayinghalf-murktostrikeherwithextraordinaryvividness。Momentsofdoubtwerecontinuallybesettingher:wasthecargoingforward,orback,orwasitstandingabsolutelystill?WasitreallyAnnushkaatherside,orastranger?`What’sthatonthearmofthechair-afurcloakorsomebeast?AndwhatamImyself:

isitI,orsomeotherwoman?’Shewasafraidofyieldingtothistrance-butsomethingwasdrawingherintoit,and,atwill,shecouldyieldtoitorresistit。Shegotuptorouseherself,andslippedoffherplaidandthecapeofwarmdress。Foramomentsheregainedherself-possession,andrealizedthatthethinpeasantwhohadcomeinwearingalongnankeenovercoat,withabuttonmissingfromit,wasthefireman,thathewaslookingatthethermometer,thatthewindandsnowhadburstinafterhimthroughthedoor;buttheneverythinggrewconfusedagain……Thatpeasantwiththelongwaisttooktognawingsomethingwithinthewall;thelittlecronestartedstretchingherlegsthewholelengthofthecarandfilleditwithablackcloud;thentherewasadreadfulscreechingandbanging,asthoughsomeonewerebeingrentintopieces;thenaredblazeblindedhereyes,and,atlast,everythingwasscreenedbyawall。Annafeltthatshehadplungeddownward。Yetallthiswasnotterrible,butjoyful。Thevoiceofamanmuffledupandcoveredwithsnowshoutedsomethinginherveryear。Shearoseandcameto,realizingthattheyhadcometoastation,andthatthiswastheconductor。SherequestedAnnushkatohandherthecapeshehadtakenoff,andhershawl,putthemon,andwenttowardthedoor。

`Doyouwishtogetout?’askedAnnushka。

`Yes,Iwanttogetabreathofair。It’sveryhotinhere。’

Andsheopenedthedoor。Theblizzardandthewindrushedtomeetherandbegantocontendwithherforthedoor。Andeventhisseemedjoyfultoher。Sheopenedthedoorandsteppedout。Thisseemedtobeallthatthewindhadbeenlyinginwaitfor;itsetupagleefulwhistleandwasabouttosnatchherupandwhirlheraway,butsheclutchedthecolddoorpostand,holdingontohershawl,descendedtotheplatformandtheshelterofthecar。Thewindhadbeenmightyonthesteps,butontheplatform,intheleeofthetrain,therewasalull。Withenjoymentshedrewdeepbreathsofthesnowy,frostyairand,standingnearthecar,lookedabouttheplatformandthelightedstation。

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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1,Chapter30[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter30Thefrightfulstormragedandwhistledbetweenthewheelsofthecars,alongtheposts,aroundthecornerofthestation。Thecars,posts,people-everythinginsight-werecoveredwithsnowononeside,andweregettingmoreandmoresnowedunder。Foramomenttherewouldcomealullinthestorm,butthenitwouldagainswoopdownwithsuchguststhatitseemedimpossibletowithstandit。Meanwhilesomemenorotherweredashingabout,gailytalkingtooneanother,makingtheboardsoftheplatformcreakandceaselesslyopeningandshuttingthebigdoors。Astoopinghumanshadowglidedbyatherfeet,andsheheardahammertappinguponiron。`Let’shavethetelegram!’cameanangryvoiceoutofthestormymurkontheotherside。`Thisway!No。28!’othervoiceswerealsoshouting,andmuffledfiguresscurriedby,plasteredwithsnow。Twogentlemenpassedbyher,cigarettesglowingintheirmouths。Shedrewinonemoredeepbreath,andhadjusttakenherhandoutofhermufftograspthedoorpostandenterthecar,whenstillanothermaninamilitaryovercoat,quiteclosebesideher,steppedbetweenherandtheflickeringlightofalantern。Shelookedround,andthesameinstantrecognizedVronsky’sface。Puttinghishandtothepeakofhiscap,hebowedtoherandaskedifthereweren’tanythingshewanted,whetherhecouldnotbeofsomeservicetoher?Shegazedratherlongathim,withoutanyanswer,and,inspiteoftheshadowinwhichhewasstanding,shesaw(orfanciedshesaw)theexpressionbothofhisfaceandhiseyes。Itwasagainthatexpressionofreverentrapturewhichhadaffectedhersoyesterday。Morethanonceshehadtoldherselfduringthepastfewdays,andonlyjustnow,thatVronskywasforheronlyoneofthehundredsofyoungmen,foreverexactlythesame,thatonemeetseverywhere;

thatshewouldneverpermitherselfeventothinkofhim;yetnowatthefirstflushofmeetinghim,shewasseizedbyanemotionofjoyouspride。

Shehadnoneedtoaskwhyhewashere。Sheknew,assurelyasifhehadtoldher,thathewashereonlytobewhereshewas。

`Ididn’tknowyouweregoing。Andwhyareyougoing?’shesaid,lettingfallthehandwhichhadgraspedthedoorpost。Andirrepressiblejoyandanimationshoneinherface。

`WhyamIgoing?’herepeated,lookingstraightintohereyes。

`YouknowthatIamgoingtobewhereyouare,’hesaid;`Icannotdootherwise。’

Andatthisverypoint,asthoughithadovercomeallobstacles,thewindscatteredthesnowfromthecarroofs,andbegantofluttersomesheetofironithadtornoff,whilethelow-pitchedwhistleoftheenginesetuparoarinfront,dismalandlamenting。Alltheawesomenessoftheblizzardnowseemedstillmoresplendidtoher。Hehadutteredpreciselywhathersoulyearnedfor,butwhichherreasondreaded。Shemadenoanswer,andinherfacehebeheldastruggle。

`Forgiveme,ifwhatIhavesaiddispleasesyou,’hesaidhumbly。

Hehadspokencourteously,deferentially,yetsofirmly,soobduratelythat,forlong,shecouldfindnoanswer。

`Whatyousayiswrong,andIbegofyou,ifyouareagoodman,toforgetwhatyouhavesaid,evenasIshallforgetit,’shesaidatlast。

`Notasinglewordofyours,norasinglegesture,shallIeverforget-norcouldIforget……’

`Enough,enough!’shecried,vainlyattemptingtogiveasternexpressiontoherface,whichhewasavidlyscrutinizing。Clutchingatthecolddoorpost,sheclamberedupthestepsandquicklyenteredthecorridorofthecar。Butinthislittlecorridorshepaused,reviewinginherimaginationallthathadoccurred。Withoutrecallingherownwordsorhis,sherealizedinstinctivelythatthatconversationhadbroughtthemfearfullycloser;

andshewasbothfrightenedandmadehappythereby。Afterstandingthusafewseconds,shewentintothecarandsatdowninherplace。Thattensedstatewhichhadtormentedheratfirstwasnotonlyrenewed,butgrewgreaterandreachedsuchapitchthatshewasafraidthat,atanymoment,somethingwouldsnapwithinherfromtheexcessivetension。Shedidnotsleepallnight。Butinthatnervoustension,andinthereveriesthatfilledherimagination,therewasnothingunpleasantorgloomy;onthecontrary,therewassomethingjoyous,glowingandexhilarating。TowardmorningAnnadozedoffasshesat,andwhensheawokeitwasalreadylight,andthetrainwasnearingPeterburg。Atoncethoughtsofhome,ofherhusbandandson,andthedetailsofthedayahead,anddaystofollow,camethronginguponher。

AtPeterburg,assoonasthetrainstoppedandshegotout,thefirstfacethatattractedherattentionwasthatofherhusband。`Oh,myGod!Whathashappenedtohisears?’shethoughtlookingathisfrigidandimposingfigure,andespeciallytheears,thatstruckhersonow,astheyproppedupthebrimofhisroundhat。Catchingsightofherhewenttomeether,pursinghislipsintotheirhabitualmockingsmile,andfixingherwithhisbig,tiredeyes。Someunpleasantsensationcontractedherheartasshemethisobdurateandtiredglance,asthoughshehadexpectedtoseehimadifferentman。Shewasparticularlystruckbythatfeelingofdissatisfactionwithherselfwhichsheexperiencedonmeetinghim。Thiswasanintimate,familiarfeeling,likethatstateofdissimulationwhichsheexperiencedinherrelationswithherhusband;buthithertoshehadnottakennoteofthefeeling;nowshewasclearlyandpainfullyawareofit。

`Yes,asyousee,yourtenderspouse,asdevotedashewasduringthesecondyearaftermarriage,wasconsumedbythedesireofseeingyou,’

hesaidinhisdilatory,high-pitchedvoice,andinthattonewhichhealmostalwaysusedtoher-atoneofbanteringatanyonewhoshouldspeakthusinearnest。

`IsSeriozhaquitewell?’sheasked。

`Andisthisallthereward,’saidhe,`formyardor?He’swell-quitewell……’

[NextChapter][TableofContents]

TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1,Chapter31[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter31Vronskyhadnotevenattemptedtofallasleepallthatnight。Hesatinhisarmchair,hiseyesfixedbeforehimorscanningthepeoplewhogotinandout,andifhehadindeed,onpreviousoccasions,struckandarousedpeoplewhodidnotknowhimbyhisairofunshakablecalmness,henowseemedprouderandmoreself-sufficientthanever。Heregardedpeopleasiftheywerethings。Anervousyoungman,aclerkinalawcourt,whohadtheseatoppositehis,conceivedahatredforhimbecauseofthisair。Theyoungmanaskedhimforalight,andenteredintoconversationwithhim,andevenjostledhim,tomakehimfeelthathewasnotathing,butaman。

ButVronskykeptonregardinghimasifhewerealamppost,andtheyoungmangrimaced,feelingthathewaslosinghisself-possessionundertheoppressivenessofthisrefusaltorecognizehimasahumanbeing。

Vronskysawnothingandnoone。Hefelthimselfaking,notbecausehebelievedthathehadmadeanyimpressiononAnna-hedidnotyetbelievethat-butbecausetheimpressionshehadmadeonhimaffordedhimhappinessandpride。

Whatwouldcomeofitallhedidnotknow,oreventhink。Hefeltthatallhisforces,hithertodissolute,scattered,werecenteredononething,andbentwithfearfulenergytowardoneblissfulgoal。Andthereinlayhishappiness。Hedidbutknowthathehadtoldherthetruth,thathehadcomewhereshewas,thatallthehappinessoflife,thesolemeaninginlifeforhim,nowlayinseeingherandhearinghervoice。AndwhenhegotoutofhiscaratBologovotogetsomeseltzerwater,andhadcaughtsightofAnna,hisveryfirstwordhadinvoluntarilytoldherhisverythoughts。Andhewasgladhehadtoldher,thatsheknewnow,andwasthinkingofit。Hedidnotsleepallnight。Backinhiscompartment,heincessantlykeptruminatinguponeverypostureinwhichhehadseenher,everywordshehaduttered;and,inhisimagination,makinghisheartswoon,floatedpicturesofapossiblefuture。

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