第49章

TheremarksIhavemadeonfilialloveandfraternalaffectionareapplicabletoallthepassionswhichemanatespontaneouslyfromhumannatureitself。Ifacertainmodeofthoughtorfeelingistheresultofsomepeculiarconditionoflife，whenthatconditionisalterednothingwhateverremainsofthethoughtorfeeling。Thusalawmaybindtwomembersofthecommunityverycloselytooneanother;butthatlawbeingabolished，theystandasunder。Nothingwasmorestrictthanthetiewhichunitedthevassaltothelordunderthefeudalsystem;

atthepresentdaythetwomenknownoteachother;thefear，thegratitude，andtheaffectionwhichformerlyconnectedthemhavevanished，andnotavestigeofthetieremains。Such，however，isnotthecasewiththosefeelingswhicharenaturaltomankind。

Wheneveralawattemptstotutorthesefeelingsinanyparticularmanner，itseldomfailstoweakenthem;byattemptingtoaddtotheirintensity，itrobsthemofsomeoftheirelements，fortheyareneverstrongerthanwhenlefttothemselves。

Democracy，whichdestroysorobscuresalmostalltheoldconventionalrulesofsociety，andwhichpreventsmenfromreadilyassentingtonewones，entirelyeffacesmostofthefeelingstowhichtheseconventionalruleshavegivenrise;butitonlymodifiessomeothers，andfrequentlyimpartstothemadegreeofenergyandsweetnessunknownbefore。Perhapsitisnotimpossibletocondenseintoasinglepropositionthewholemeaningofthischapter，andofseveralothersthatprecededit。

Democracyloosenssocialties，butitdrawsthetiesofnaturemoretight;itbringskindredmorecloselytogether，whilstitplacesthevariousmembersofthecommunitymorewidelyapart。

ChapterIX:EducationOfYoungWomenInTheUnitedStatesNofreecommunitieseverexistedwithoutmorals;and，asI

observedintheformerpartofthiswork，moralsaretheworkofwoman。Consequently，whateveraffectstheconditionofwomen，theirhabitsandtheiropinions，hasgreatpoliticalimportanceinmyeyes。AmongstalmostallProtestantnationsyoungwomenarefarmorethemistressesoftheirownactionsthantheyareinCatholiccountries。ThisindependenceisstillgreaterinProtestantcountries，likeEngland，whichhaveretainedoracquiredtherightofself—government;thespiritoffreedomistheninfusedintothedomesticcirclebypoliticalhabitsandbyreligiousopinions。IntheUnitedStatesthedoctrinesofProtestantismarecombinedwithgreatpoliticalfreedomandamostdemocraticstateofsociety;andnowhereareyoungwomensurrenderedsoearlyorsocompletelytotheirownguidance。

LongbeforeanAmericangirlarrivesattheageofmarriage，heremancipationfrommaternalcontrolbegins;shehasscarcelyceasedtobeachildwhenshealreadythinksforherself，speakswithfreedom，andactsonherownimpulse。Thegreatsceneoftheworldisconstantlyopentoherview;farfromseekingconcealment，itiseverydaydisclosedtohermorecompletely，andsheistaughttosurveyitwithafirmandcalmgaze。Thusthevicesanddangersofsocietyareearlyrevealedtoher;assheseesthemclearly，sheviewsthemwithoutillusions，andbravesthemwithoutfear;forsheisfullofrelianceonherownstrength，andherrelianceseemstobesharedbyallwhoareabouther。AnAmericangirlscarcelyeverdisplaysthatvirginalbloominthemidstofyoungdesires，orthatinnocentandingenuousgracewhichusuallyattendstheEuropeanwomaninthetransitionfromgirlhoodtoyouth。ItisrarelythatanAmericanwomanatanyagedisplayschildishtimidityorignorance。LiketheyoungwomenofEurope，sheseekstoplease，butsheknowspreciselythecostofpleasing。Ifshedoesnotabandonherselftoevil，atleastsheknowsthatitexists;andsheisremarkableratherforpurityofmannersthanforchastityofmind。Ihavebeenfrequentlysurprised，andalmostfrightened，atthesingularaddressandhappyboldnesswithwhichyoungwomeninAmericacontrivetomanagetheirthoughtsandtheirlanguageamidstallthedifficultiesofstimulatingconversation;aphilosopherwouldhavestumbledateverystepalongthenarrowpathwhichtheytrodwithoutaccidentsandwithouteffort。Itiseasyindeedtoperceivethat，evenamidsttheindependenceofearlyyouth，anAmericanwomanisalwaysmistressofherself;sheindulgesinallpermittedpleasures，withoutyieldingherselfuptoanyofthem;

andherreasonneverallowsthereinsofself—guidancetodrop，thoughitoftenseemstoholdthemloosely。

InFrance，whereremnantsofeveryagearestillsostrangelymingledintheopinionsandtastesofthepeople，womencommonlyreceiveareserved，retired，andalmostcloistraleducation，astheydidinaristocratictimes;andthentheyaresuddenlyabandoned，withoutaguideandwithoutassistance，inthemidstofalltheirregularitiesinseparablefromdemocraticsociety。TheAmericansaremoreconsistent。Theyhavefoundoutthatinademocracytheindependenceofindividualscannotfailtobeverygreat，youthpremature，tastesill—restrained，customsfleeting，publicopinionoftenunsettledandpowerless，paternalauthorityweak，andmaritalauthoritycontested。Underthesecircumstances，believingthattheyhadlittlechanceofrepressinginwomanthemostvehementpassionsofthehumanheart，theyheldthatthesurerwaywastoteachhertheartofcombatingthosepassionsforherself。Astheycouldnotpreventhervirtuefrombeingexposedtofrequentdanger，theydeterminedthatsheshouldknowhowbesttodefendit;andmorereliancewasplacedonthefreevigorofherwillthanonsafeguardswhichhavebeenshakenoroverthrown。Instead，then，ofinculcatingmistrustofherself，theyconstantlyseektoenhancetheirconfidenceinherownstrengthofcharacter。Asitisneitherpossiblenordesirabletokeepayoungwomaninperpetualorcompleteignorance，theyhastentogiveheraprecociousknowledgeonallsubjects。Farfromhidingthecorruptionsoftheworldfromher，theypreferthatsheshouldseethematonceandtrainherselftoshunthem;andtheyholditofmoreimportancetoprotectherconductthantobeover—scrupulousofherinnocence。

AlthoughtheAmericansareaveryreligiouspeople，theydonotrelyonreligionalonetodefendthevirtueofwoman;theyseektoarmherreasonalso。Inthistheyhavefollowedthesamemethodasinseveralotherrespects;theyfirstmakethemostvigorouseffortstobringindividualindependencetoexerciseapropercontroloveritself，andtheydonotcallintheaidofreligionuntiltheyhavereachedtheutmostlimitsofhumanstrength。Iamawarethataneducationofthiskindisnotwithoutdanger;Iamsensiblethatittendstoinvigoratethejudgmentattheexpenseoftheimagination，andtomakecoldandvirtuouswomeninsteadofaffectionatewivesandagreeablecompanionstoman。Societymaybemoretranquilandbetterregulated，butdomesticlifehasoftenfewercharms。These，however，aresecondaryevils，whichmaybebravedforthesakeofhigherinterests。Atthestageatwhichwearenowarrivedthetimeforchoosingisnolongerwithinourcontrol;ademocraticeducationisindispensabletoprotectwomenfromthedangerswithwhichdemocraticinstitutionsandmannerssurroundthem。

ChapterX:TheYoungWomanInTheCharacterOfAWifeInAmericatheindependenceofwomanisirrevocablylostinthebondsofmatrimony:ifanunmarriedwomanislessconstrainedtherethanelsewhere，awifeissubjectedtostricterobligations。Theformermakesherfather’shouseanabodeoffreedomandofpleasure;thelatterlivesinthehomeofherhusbandasifitwereacloister。Yetthesetwodifferentconditionsoflifeareperhapsnotsocontraryasmaybesupposed，anditisnaturalthattheAmericanwomenshouldpassthroughtheonetoarriveattheother。

Religiouspeoplesandtradingnationsentertainpeculiarlyseriousnotionsofmarriage:theformerconsidertheregularityofwoman’slifeasthebestpledgeandmostcertainsignofthepurityofhermorals;thelatterregarditasthehighestsecurityfortheorderandprosperityofthehousehold。TheAmericansareatthesametimeapuritanicalpeopleandacommercialnation:theirreligiousopinions，aswellastheirtradinghabits，consequentlyleadthemtorequiremuchabnegationonthepartofwoman，andaconstantsacrificeofherpleasurestoherdutieswhichisseldomdemandedofherinEurope。ThusintheUnitedStatestheinexorableopinionofthepubliccarefullycircumscribeswomanwithinthenarrowcircleofdomesticinterestandduties，andforbidshertostepbeyondit。

UponherentranceintotheworldayoungAmericanwomanfindsthesenotionsfirmlyestablished;sheseestheruleswhicharederivedfromthem;sheisnotslowtoperceivethatshecannotdepartforaninstantfromtheestablishedusagesofhercontemporaries，withoutputtinginjeopardyherpeaceofmind，herhonor，nayevenhersocialexistence;andshefindstheenergyrequiredforsuchanactofsubmissioninthefirmnessofherunderstandingandinthevirilehabitswhichhereducationhasgivenher。Itmaybesaidthatshehaslearnedbytheuseofherindependencetosurrenderitwithoutastruggleandwithoutamurmurwhenthetimecomesformakingthesacrifice。ButnoAmericanwomanfallsintothetoilsofmatrimonyasintoasnareheldouttohersimplicityandignorance。Shehasbeentaughtbeforehandwhatisexpectedofher，andvoluntarilyandfreelydoessheenteruponthisengagement。Shesupportshernewconditionwithcourage，becauseshechoseit。AsinAmericapaternaldisciplineisveryrelaxedandtheconjugaltieverystrict，ayoungwomandoesnotcontractthelatterwithoutconsiderablecircumspectionandapprehension。Precociousmarriagesarerare。ThusAmericanwomendonotmarryuntiltheirunderstandingsareexercisedandripened;whereasinothercountriesmostwomengenerallyonlybegintoexerciseandtoripentheirunderstandingsaftermarriage。

Ibynomeanssuppose，however，thatthegreatchangewhichtakesplaceinallthehabitsofwomenintheUnitedStates，assoonastheyaremarried，oughtsolelytobeattributedtotheconstraintofpublicopinion:itisfrequentlyimposeduponthemselvesbythesoleeffortoftheirownwill。Whenthetimeforchoosingahusbandisarrived，thatcoldandsternreasoningpowerwhichhasbeeneducatedandinvigoratedbythefreeobservationoftheworld，teachesanAmericanwomanthataspiritoflevityandindependenceinthebondsofmarriageisaconstantsubjectofannoyance，notofpleasure;ittellsherthattheamusementsofthegirlcannotbecometherecreationsofthewife，andthatthesourcesofamarriedwoman’shappinessareinthehomeofherhusband。Assheclearlydiscernsbeforehandtheonlyroadwhichcanleadtodomestichappiness，sheentersuponitatonce，andfollowsittotheendwithoutseekingtoturnback。

ThesamestrengthofpurposewhichtheyoungwivesofAmericadisplay，inbendingthemselvesatonceandwithoutrepiningtotheausteredutiesoftheirnewcondition，isnolessmanifestinallthegreattrialsoftheirlives。InnocountryintheworldareprivatefortunesmoreprecariousthanintheUnitedStates。Itisnotuncommonforthesameman，inthecourseofhislife，toriseandsinkagainthroughallthegradeswhichleadfromopulencetopoverty。Americanwomensupportthesevicissitudeswithcalmandunquenchableenergy:itwouldseemthattheirdesirescontract，aseasilyastheyexpand，withtheirfortunes。*a[Footnot