下载辰思小说免费APP
Iclearedandsteadiedmyvoicetoreply:“Allischangedaboutme，sir;Imustchangetoo—thereisnodoubtofthat;andtoavoidfluctuationsoffeeling，andcontinualcombatswithrecollectionsandassociations，thereisonlyoneway—Adèlemusthaveanewgoverness，sir。”
“Oh，Adèlewillgotoschool—Ihavesettledthatalready;nordoImeantotormentyouwiththehideousassociationsandrecollectionsofThornfieldHall—thisaccursedplace—thistentofAchan—thisinsolentvault，offeringtheghastlinessoflivingdeathtothelightoftheopensky—thisnarrowstonehell，withitsonerealfiend，worsethanalegionofsuchasweimagine。Jane，youshallnotstayhere，norwillI。IwaswrongevertobringyoutoThornfieldHall，knowingasIdidhowitwashaunted。Ichargedthemtoconcealfromyou，beforeIeversawyou，allknowledgeofthecurseoftheplace;merelybecauseIfearedAdèleneverwouldhaveagovernesstostayifsheknewwithwhatinmateshewashoused，andmyplanswouldnotpermitmetoremovethemaniacelsewhere—thoughIpossessanoldhouse，FerndeanManor，evenmoreretiredandhiddenthanthis，whereIcouldhavelodgedhersafelyenough，hadnotascrupleabouttheunhealthinessofthesituation，intheheartofawood，mademyconsciencerecoilfromthearrangement。Probablythosedampwallswouldsoonhaveeasedmeofhercharge:buttoeachvillainhisownvice;andmineisnotatendencytoindirectassassination，evenofwhatImosthate。
“Concealingthemad—woman’sneighbourhoodfromyou，however，wassomethinglikecoveringachildwithacloakandlayingitdownnearaupas—tree:thatdemon’svicinageispoisoned，andalwayswas。ButI’llshutupThornfieldHall:I’llnailupthefrontdoorandboardthelowerwindows:I’llgiveMrs。Pooletwohundredayeartoliveherewithmywife，asyoutermthatfearfulhag:Gracewilldomuchformoney，andsheshallhaveherson，thekeeperatGrimsbyRetreat，tobearhercompanyandbeathandtogiveheraidintheparoxysms，whenmywifeispromptedbyherfamiliartoburnpeopleintheirbedsatnight，tostabthem，tobitetheirfleshfromtheirbones，andsoon—”
“Sir，”Iinterruptedhim，“youareinexorableforthatunfortunatelady:youspeakofherwithhate—withvindictiveantipathy。Itiscruel—shecannothelpbeingmad。”
“Jane，mylittledarling（soIwillcallyou，forsoyouare），youdon’tknowwhatyouaretalkingabout;youmisjudgemeagain:itisnotbecausesheismadIhateher。Ifyouweremad，doyouthinkIshouldhateyou？”
“Idoindeed，sir。”
“Thenyouaremistaken，andyouknownothingaboutme，andnothingaboutthesortofloveofwhichIamcapable。Everyatomofyourfleshisasdeartomeasmyown:inpainandsicknessitwouldstillbedear。Yourmindismytreasure，andifitwerebroken，itwouldbemytreasurestill:ifyouraved，myarmsshouldconfineyou，andnotastraitwaistcoat—yourgrasp，eveninfury，wouldhaveacharmforme:ifyouflewatmeaswildlyasthatwomandidthismorning，Ishouldreceiveyouinanembrace，atleastasfondasitwouldberestrictive。IshouldnotshrinkfromyouwithdisgustasIdidfromher:inyourquietmomentsyoushouldhavenowatcherandnonursebutme;andIcouldhangoveryouwithuntiringtenderness，thoughyougavemenosmileinreturn;andneverwearyofgazingintoyoureyes，thoughtheyhadnolongerarayofrecognitionforme。—ButwhydoIfollowthattrainofideas？IwastalkingofremovingyoufromThornfield。All，youknow，ispreparedforpromptdeparture:to—morrowyoushallgo。Ionlyaskyoutoendureonemorenightunderthisroof，Jane;andthen，farewelltoitsmiseriesandterrorsforever！Ihaveaplacetorepairto，whichwillbeasecuresanctuaryfromhatefulreminiscences，fromunwelcomeintrusion—evenfromfalsehoodandslander。”
“AndtakeAdèlewithyou，sir，”Iinterrupted;“shewillbeacompanionforyou。”
“Whatdoyoumean，Jane？ItoldyouIwouldsendAdèletoschool;andwhatdoIwantwithachildforacompanion，andnotmyownchild，—aFrenchdancer’sbastard？Whydoyouimportunemeabouther！Isay，whydoyouassignAdèletomeforacompanion？”
“Youspokeofaretirement，sir;andretirementandsolitudearedull:toodullforyou。”
“Solitude！solitude！”hereiteratedwithirritation。“IseeImustcometoanexplanation。Idon’tknowwhatsphynx—likeexpressionisforminginyourcountenance。Youaretosharemysolitude。Doyouunderstand？”
Ishookmyhead:itrequiredadegreeofcourage，excitedashewasbecoming，eventoriskthatmutesignofdissent。Hehadbeenwalkingfastabouttheroom，andhestopped，asifsuddenlyrootedtoonespot。Helookedatmelongandhard:Iturnedmyeyesfromhim，fixedthemonthefire，andtriedtoassumeandmaintainaquiet，collectedaspect。
“NowforthehitchinJane’scharacter，”hesaidatlast，speakingmorecalmlythanfromhislookIhadexpectedhimtospeak。“Thereelofsilkhasrunsmoothlyenoughsofar;butIalwaysknewtherewouldcomeaknotandapuzzle:hereitis。Nowforvexation，andexasperation，andendlesstrouble！ByGod！IlongtoexertafractionofSamson’sstrength，andbreaktheentanglementliketow！”
Herecommencedhiswalk，butsoonagainstopped，andthistimejustbeforeme。
“Jane！willyouhearreason？”（hestoopedandapproachedhislipstomyear）;“because，ifyouwon’t，I’lltryviolence。”Hisvoicewashoarse;hislookthatofamanwhoisjustabouttoburstaninsufferablebondandplungeheadlongintowildlicense。Isawthatinanothermoment，andwithoneimpetusoffrenzymore，Ishouldbeabletodonothingwithhim。Thepresent—thepassingsecondoftime—wasallIhadinwhichtocontrolandrestrainhim—amovementofrepulsion，flight，fearwouldhavesealedmydoom，—andhis。ButIwasnotafraid:notintheleast。Ifeltaninwardpower;asenseofinfluence，whichsupportedme。Thecrisiswasperilous;butnotwithoutitscharm:suchastheIndian，perhaps，feelswhenheslipsovertherapidinhiscanoe。Itookholdofhisclenchedhand，loosenedthecontortedfingers，andsaidtohim，soothingly—
“Sitdown;I’lltalktoyouaslongasyoulike，andhearallyouhavetosay，whetherreasonableorunreasonable。”
Hesatdown:buthedidnotgetleavetospeakdirectly。Ihadbeenstrugglingwithtearsforsometime:Ihadtakengreatpainstorepressthem，becauseIknewhewouldnotliketoseemeweep。Now，however，Iconsidereditwelltoletthemflowasfreelyandaslongastheyliked。Ifthefloodannoyedhim，somuchthebetter。SoIgavewayandcriedheartily。
SoonIheardhimearnestlyentreatingmetobecomposed。IsaidIcouldnotwhilehewasinsuchapassion。
“ButIamnotangry，Jane:Ionlyloveyoutoowell;andyouhadsteeledyourlittlepalefacewithsucharesolute，frozenlook，Icouldnotendureit。Hush，now，andwipeyoureyes。”
Hissoftenedvoiceannouncedthathewassubdued;soI，inmyturn，becamecalm。Nowhemadeanefforttoresthisheadonmyshoulder，butIwouldnotpermitit。Thenhewoulddrawmetohim:no。
“Jane！Jane！”hesaid，insuchanaccentofbittersadnessitthrilledalongeverynerveIhad;“youdon’tloveme，then？Itwasonlymystation，andtherankofmywife，thatyouvalued？Nowthatyouthinkmedisqualifiedtobecomeyourhusband，yourecoilfrommytouchasifIweresometoadorape。”
Thesewordscutme:yetwhatcouldIdoorIsay？Ioughtprobablytohavedoneorsaidnothing;butIwassotorturedbyasenseofremorseatthushurtinghisfeelings，IcouldnotcontrolthewishtodropbalmwhereIhadwounded。
“Idoloveyou，”Isaid，“morethanever:butImustnotshoworindulgethefeeling:andthisisthelasttimeImustexpressit。”
“Thelasttime，Jane！What！doyouthinkyoucanlivewithme，andseemedaily，andyet，ifyoustillloveme，bealwayscoldanddistant？”
“No，sir;thatIamcertainIcouldnot;andthereforeIseethereisbutoneway:butyouwillbefuriousifImentionit。”
“Oh，mentionit！IfIstorm，youhavetheartofweeping。”
“Mr。Rochester，Imustleaveyou。”
“Forhowlong，Jane？Forafewminutes，whileyousmoothyourhair—whichissomewhatdishevelled;andbatheyourface—whichlooksfeverish？”
“ImustleaveAdèleandThornfield。Imustpartwithyouformywholelife:Imustbeginanewexistenceamongstrangefacesandstrangescenes。”
“Ofcourse:Itoldyouyoushould。Ipassoverthemadnessaboutpartingfromme。Youmeanyoumustbecomeapartofme。Astothenewexistence，itisallright:youshallyetbemywife:Iamnotmarried。YoushallbeMrs。Rochester—bothvirtuallyandnominally。IshallkeeponlytoyousolongasyouandIlive。YoushallgotoaplaceIhaveinthesouthofFrance:awhitewashedvillaontheshoresoftheMediterranean。Thereyoushallliveahappy，andguarded，andmostinnocentlife。NeverfearthatIwishtolureyouintoerror—tomakeyoumymistress。Whydidyoushakeyourhead？Jane，youmustbereasonable，orintruthIshallagainbecomefrantic。”
Hisvoiceandhandquivered:hislargenostrilsdilated;hiseyeblazed:stillIdaredtospeak。
“Sir，yourwifeisliving:thatisafactacknowledgedthismorningbyyourself。IfIlivedwithyouasyoudesire，Ishouldthenbeyourmistress:tosayotherwiseissophistical—isfalse。”
“Jane，Iamnotagentle—temperedman—youforgetthat:Iamnotlong—enduring;Iamnotcoolanddispassionate。Outofpitytomeandyourself，putyourfingeronmypulse，feelhowitthrobs，and—beware！”
Hebaredhiswrist，andofferedittome:thebloodwasforsakinghischeekandlips，theyweregrowinglivid;Iwasdistressedonallhands。Toagitatehimthusdeeply，byaresistancehesoabhorred，wascruel:toyieldwasoutofthequestion。Ididwhathumanbeingsdoinstinctivelywhentheyaredriventoutterextremity—lookedforaidtoonehigherthanman:thewords“Godhelpme！”burstinvoluntarilyfrommylips。
“Iamafool！”criedMr。Rochestersuddenly。“IkeeptellingherIamnotmarried，anddonotexplaintoherwhy。Iforgetsheknowsnothingofthecharacterofthatwoman，orofthecircumstancesattendingmyinfernalunionwithher。Oh，IamcertainJanewillagreewithmeinopinion，whensheknowsallthatIknow！Justputyourhandinmine，Janet—thatImayhavetheevidenceoftouchaswellassight，toproveyouarenearme—andIwillinafewwordsshowyoutherealstateofthecase。Canyoulistentome
“Yes，sir;forhoursifyouwill。”
“Iaskonlyminutes。Jane，didyoueverhearorknowatIwasnottheeldestsonofmyhouse:thatIhadonceabrotherolderthanI？”
“IrememberMrs。Fairfaxtoldmesoonce。”
“Anddidyoueverhearthatmyfatherwasanavaricious，graspingman？”
“Ihaveunderstoodsomethingtothateffect。”
“Well，Jane，beingso，itwashisresolutiontokeepthepropertytogether;hecouldnotbeartheideaofdividinghisestateandleavingmeafairportion:all，heresolved，shouldgotomybrother，Rowland。Yetaslittlecouldheendurethatasonofhisshouldbeapoorman。Imustbeprovidedforbyawealthymarriage。Hesoughtmeapartnerbetimes。Mr。Mason，aWestIndiaplanterandmerchant，washisoldacquaintance。Hewascertainhispossessionswererealandvast:hemadeinquiries。Mr。Mason，hefound，hadasonanddaughter;andhelearnedfromhimthathecouldandwouldgivethelatterafortuneofthirtythousandpounds:thatsufficed。WhenIleftcollege，IwassentouttoJamaica，toespouseabridealreadycourtedforme
