第17章

Hewasnotinanyofthelowerrooms;hewasnotintheyard，thestables，orthegrounds。IaskedMrs。Fairfaxifshehadseenhim;—yes:shebelievedhewasplayingbilliardswithMissIngram。Tothebilliard—roomIhastened:theclickofballsandthehumofvoicesresoundedthence;Mr。Rochester，MissIngram，thetwoMissesEshton，andtheiradmirers，wereallbusiedinthegame。Itrequiredsomecouragetodisturbsointerestingaparty;myerrand，however，wasoneIcouldnotdefer，soIapproachedthemasterwherehestoodatMissIngram’sside。SheturnedasIdrewnear，andlookedatmehaughtily:hereyesseemedtodemand，“Whatcanthecreepingcreaturewantnow？”andwhenIsaid，inalowvoice，“Mr。Rochester，”shemadeamovementasiftemptedtoordermeaway。Irememberherappearanceatthemoment—itwasverygracefulandverystriking:sheworeamorningrobeofsky—bluecrape;agauzyazurescarfwastwistedinherhair。Shehadbeenallanimationwiththegame，andirritatedpridedidnotlowertheexpressionofherhaughtylineaments。

“Doesthatpersonwantyou？”sheinquiredofMr。Rochester;andMr。Rochesterturnedtoseewhothe“person”was。Hemadeacuriousgrimace—oneofhisstrangeandequivocaldemonstrations—threwdownhiscueandfollowedmefromtheroom。

“Well，Jane？”hesaid，asherestedhisbackagainsttheschoolroomdoor，whichhehadshut。

“Ifyouplease，sir，Iwantleaveofabsenceforaweekortwo。”

“Whattodo？—wheretogo？”

“Toseeasickladywhohassentforme。”

“Whatsicklady？—wheredoesshelive？”

“AtGateshead;in—shire。”

“—shire？Thatisahundredmilesoff！Whomayshebethatsendsforpeopletoseeherthatdistance？”

“HernameisReed，sir—Mrs。Reed。”

“ReedofGateshead？TherewasaReedofGateshead，amagistrate。”

“Itishiswidow，sir。”

“Andwhathaveyoutodowithher？Howdoyouknowher？”

“Mr。Reedwasmyuncle—mymother’sbrother。”

“Thedeucehewas！Younevertoldmethatbefore:youalwayssaidyouhadnorelations。”

“Nonethatwouldownme，sir。Mr。Reedisdead，andhiswifecastmeoff。”

“Why？”

“BecauseIwaspoor，andburdensome，andshedislikedme。”

“ButReedleftchildren？—youmusthavecousins？SirGeorgeLynnwastalkingofaReedofGatesheadyesterday，who，hesaid，wasoneoftheveriestrascalsontown;andIngramwasmentioningaGeorgianaReedofthesameplace，whowasmuchadmiredforherbeautyaseasonortwoagoinLondon。”

“JohnReedisdead，too，sir:heruinedhimselfandhalf—ruinedhisfamily，andissupposedtohavecommittedsuicide。Thenewssoshockedhismotherthatitbroughtonanapoplecticattack。”

“Andwhatgoodcanyoudoher？Nonsense，Jane！Iwouldneverthinkofrunningahundredmilestoseeanoldladywhowill，perhaps，bedeadbeforeyoureachher:besides，yousayshecastyouoff。”

“Yes，sir，butthatislongago;andwhenhercircumstanceswereverydifferent:Icouldnotbeeasytoneglectherwishesnow。”

“Howlongwillyoustay？”

“Asshortatimeaspossible，sir。”

“Promisemeonlytostayaweek—”

“Ihadbetternotpassmyword:Imightbeobligedtobreakit。”

“Atalleventsyouwillcomeback:youwillnotbeinducedunderanypretexttotakeupapermanentresidencewithher？”

“Oh，no！Ishallcertainlyreturnifallbewell。”

“Andwhogoeswithyou？Youdon’ttravelahundredmilesalone。”

“No，sir，shehassenthercoachman。”

“Apersontobetrusted？”

“Yes，sir，hehaslivedtenyearsinthefamily。”

Mr。Rochestermeditated。“Whendoyouwishtogo？”

“Earlyto—morrowmorning，sir。”

“Well，youmusthavesomemoney;youcan’ttravelwithoutmoney，andIdaresayyouhavenotmuch:Ihavegivenyounosalaryyet。Howmuchhaveyouintheworld，Jane？”heasked，smiling。

Idrewoutmypurse;ameagrethingitwas。“Fiveshillings，sir。”Hetookthepurse，pouredthehoardintohispalm，andchuckledoveritasifitsscantinessamusedhim。Soonheproducedhispocket—book:“Here，”saidhe，offeringmeanote;itwasfiftypounds，andheowedmebutfifteen。ItoldhimIhadnochange。

“Idon’twantchange;youknowthat。Takeyourwages。”

Ideclinedacceptingmorethanwasmydue。Hescowledatfirst;then，asifrecollectingsomething，hesaid—

“Right，right！Betternotgiveyouallnow:youwould，perhaps，stayawaythreemonthsifyouhadfiftypounds。Thereareten;isitnotplenty？”

“Yes，sir，butnowyouowemefive。”

“Comebackforit，then;Iamyourbankerforfortypounds。”

“Mr。Rochester，ImayaswellmentionanothermatterofbusinesstoyouwhileIhavetheopportunity。”

“Matterofbusiness？Iamcurioustohearit。”

“Youhaveasgoodasinformedme，sir，thatyouaregoingshortlytobemarried？”

“Yes;whatthen？”

“Inthatcase，sir，Adèleoughttogotoschool:Iamsureyouwillperceivethenecessityofit。”

“Togetheroutofmybride’sway，whomightotherwisewalkoverherrathertooemphatically？There’ssenseinthesuggestion;notadoubtofit。Adèle，asyousay，mustgotoschool;andyou，ofcourse，mustmarchstraightto—thedevil？”

“Ihopenot，sir;butImustseekanothersituationsomewhere。”

“Incourse！”heexclaimed，withatwangofvoiceandadistortionoffeaturesequallyfantasticandludicrous。Helookedatmesomeminutes。

“AndoldMadamReed，ortheMisses，herdaughters，willbesolicitedbyyoutoseekaplace，Isuppose？”

“No，sir;Iamnotonsuchtermswithmyrelativesaswouldjustifymeinaskingfavoursofthem—butIshalladvertise。”

“YoushallwalkupthepyramidsofEgypt！”hegrowled。“Atyourperilyouadvertise！IwishIhadonlyofferedyouasovereigninsteadoftenpounds。Givemebackninepounds，Jane;I’veauseforit。”

“AndsohaveI，sir，”Ireturned，puttingmyhandsandmypursebehindme。“Icouldnotsparethemoneyonanyaccount。”

“Littleniggard！”saidhe，“refusingmeapecuniaryrequest！Givemefivepounds，Jane。”

“Notfiveshillings，sir;norfivepence。”

“Justletmelookatthecash。”

“No，sir;youarenottobetrusted。”

“Jane！”

“Sir？”

“Promisemeonething。”

“I’llpromiseyouanything，sir，thatIthinkIamlikelytoperform。”

“Nottoadvertise:andtotrustthisquestofasituationtome。I’llfindyouoneintime。”

“Ishallbegladsotodo，sir，ifyou，inyourturn，willpromisethatIandAdèleshallbebothsafeoutofthehousebeforeyourbrideentersit。”

“Verywell！verywell！I’llpledgemywordonit。Yougoto—morrow，then？”

“Yes，sir;early。”

“Shallyoucomedowntothedrawing—roomafterdinner？”

“No，sir，Imustprepareforthejourney。”

“ThenyouandImustbidgood—byeforalittlewhile？”

“Isupposeso，sir。”

“Andhowdopeopleperformthatceremonyofparting，Jane？Teachme;I’mnotquiteuptoit。”

“Theysay，Farewell，oranyotherformtheyprefer。”

“Thensayit。”

“Farewell，Mr。Rochester，forthepresent。”

“WhatmustIsay？”

“Thesame，ifyoulike，sir。”

“Farewell，MissEyre，forthepresent;isthatall？”

“Yes？”

“Itseemsstingy，tomynotions，anddry，andunfriendly。Ishouldlikesomethingelse:alittleadditiontotherite。Ifoneshookhands，forinstance;butno—thatwouldnotcontentmeeither。Soyou’lldonomorethansayFarewell，Jane？”

“Itisenough，sir:asmuchgood—willmaybeconveyedinoneheartywordasinmany。”

“Verylikely;butitisblankandcool—‘Farewell。’”

“Howlongishegoingtostandwithhisbackagainstthatdoor？”Iaskedmyself;“Iwanttocommencemypacking。”Thedinner—bellrang，andsuddenlyawayhebolted，withoutanothersyllable:Isawhimnomoreduringtheday，andwasoffbeforehehadriseninthemorning。

IreachedthelodgeatGatesheadaboutfiveo’clockintheafternoonofthefirstofMay:Isteppedintherebeforegoinguptothehall。Itwasverycleanandneat:theornamentalwindowswerehungwithlittlewhitecurtains;thefloorwasspotless;thegrateandfire—ironswereburnishedbright，andthefireburntclear。Bessiesatonthehearth，nursingherlast—born，andRobertandhissisterplayedquietlyinacorner。

“Blessyou！—Iknewyouwouldcome！”exclaimedMrs。Leaven，asIentered。

“Yes，Bessie，”saidI，afterIhadkissedher;“andItrustIamnottoolate。HowisMrs。Reed？—Alivestill，Ihope。”

“Yes，sheisalive;andmoresensibleandcollectedthanshewas。Thedoctorsaysshemaylingeraweekortwoyet;buthehardlythinksshewillfinallyrecover。”

“Hasshementionedmelately？”

“Shewastalkingofyouonlythismorning，andwishingyouwouldcome，butsheissleepingnow，orwastenminutesago，whenIwasupatthehouse。Shegenerallyliesinakindoflethargyalltheafternoon，andwakesupaboutsixorseven。Willyourestyourselfhereanhour，Miss，andthenIwillgoupwithyou？”

Roberthereentered，andBessielaidhersleepingchildinthecradleandwenttowelcomehim:afterwardssheinsistedonmytakingoffmybonnetandhavingsometea;forshesaidIlookedpaleandtired。Iwasgladtoacceptherhospitality;andIsubmittedtoberelievedofmytravellinggarbjustaspassivelyasIusedtoletherundressmewhenachild。

OldtimescrowdedfastbackonmeasIwatchedherbustlingabout—settingoutthetea—traywithherbestchina，cuttingbreadandbutter，toastingatea—cake，and，betweenwhiles，givinglittleRobertorJaneanoccasionaltaporpush，justassheusedtogivemeinformerdays。Bessiehadretainedherquicktemperaswellasherlightfootandgoodlooks。

Teaready，Iwasgoingtoapproachthetable;butshedesiredmetositstill，quiteinheroldperemptorytones。Imustbeservedatthefireside，shesaid;andsheplacedbeforemealittleroundstandwithmycupandaplateoftoast，absolutelyassheusedtoaccommodatemewithsomeprivatelypurloineddaintyonanurserychair:andIsmiledandobeyedherasinbygonedays。

ShewantedtoknowifIwashappyatThornfieldHall，andwhatsortofapersonthemistresswas;andwhenItoldhertherewasonlyamaster，whetherhewasanicegentleman，andifIlikedhim。Itoldherheratheranuglyman，butquiteagentleman;andthathetreatedmekindly，andIwascontent。ThenIwentontodescribetoherthegaycompanythathadlatelybeenstayingatthehouse;andtothesedetailsBessielistenedwithinterest:theywerepreciselyofthekindsherelished。

Insuchconversationanhourwassoongone:Bessierestoredtomemybonnet，&c。，and，accompaniedbyher，Iquittedthelodgeforthehall。ItwasalsoaccompaniedbyherthatIhad，nearlynineyearsago，walkeddownthepathIwasnowascending。Onadark，misty，rawmorninginJanuary，Ihadleftahostileroofwithadesperateandembitteredheart—asenseofoutlawryandalmostofreprobation—toseekthechillyharbourageofLowood:thatbournesofarawayandunexplored。Thesamehostileroofnowagainrosebeforeme:myprospectsweredoubtfulyet;andIhadyetanachingheart。Istillfeltasawandereronthefaceoftheearth;butIexperiencedfirmertrustinmyselfandmyownpowers，andlesswitheringdreadofoppression。Thegapingwoundofmywrongs，too，wasnowquitehealed;andtheflameofresentmentextinguished。

“Youshallgointothebreakfast—roomfirst，”saidBessie，assheprecededmethroughthehall;“theyoungladieswillbethere。”

InanothermomentIwaswithinthatapartment。TherewaseveryarticleoffurniturelookingjustasitdidonthemorningIwasfirstintroducedtoMr。Brocklehurst:theveryrughehadstooduponstillcoveredthehearth。Glancingatthebookcases，IthoughtIcoulddistinguishthetwovolumesofBewick’sBritishBirdsoccupyingtheiroldplaceonthethirdshelf，andGulliver’sTravelsandtheArabianNightsrangedjustabove。Theinanimateobjectswerenotchanged;butthelivingthingshadalteredpastrecognition。

Twoyoungladiesappearedbeforeme;oneverytall，almostastallasMissIngram—verythintoo，withasallowfaceandseveremien。Therewassomethingasceticinherlook，whichwasaugmentedbytheextremeplainnessofastraight—skirted，black，stuffdress，astarchedlinencollar，haircombedawayfromthetemples，andthenun—likeornamentofastringofebonybeadsandacrucifix。ThisIfeltsurewasEliza，thoughIcouldtracelittleresemblancetoherformerselfinthatelongatedandcolourlessvisage。

TheotherwasascertainlyGeorgiana:butnottheGeorgianaIremembered—theslimandfairy—likegirlofeleven。Thiswasafull—blown，veryplumpdamsel，fairaswaxwork，withhandsomeandregularfeatures，languishingblueeyes，andringletedyellowhair。Thehueofherdresswasblacktoo;butitsfashionwassodifferentfromhersister’s—somuchmoreflowingandbecoming—itlookedasstylishastheother’slookedpuritanical。

Ineachofthesisterstherewasonetraitofthemother—andonlyone;thethinandpallidelderdaughterhadherparent’sCairngormeye:thebloomingandluxuriantyoungergirlhadhercontourofjawandchin—perhapsalittlesoftened，butstillimpartinganindescribablehardnesstothecountenanceotherwisesovoluptuousandbuxom。

Bothladies，asIadvanced，rosetowelcomeme，andbothaddressedmebythenameof“MissEyre。”Eliza’sgreetingwasdeliveredinashort，abruptvoice，withoutasmile;andthenshesatdownagain，fixedhereyesonthefire，andseemedtoforgetme。Georgianaaddedtoher“Howd’yedo？”severalcommonplacesaboutmyjourney，theweather，andsoon，utteredinratheradrawlingtone:andaccompaniedbysundryside—glancesthatmeasuredmefromheadtofoot—nowtraversingthefoldsofmydrabmerinopelisse，andnowlingeringontheplaintrimmingofmycottagebonnet。Youngladieshavearemarkablewayoflettingyouknowthattheythinkyoua“quiz”withoutactuallysayingthewords。Acertainsuperciliousnessoflook，coolnessofmanner，nonchalanceoftone，expressfullytheirsentimentsonthepoint，withoutcommittingthembyanypositiverudenessinwordordeed。

Asneer，however，whethercovertoropen，hadnownolongerthatpowerovermeitoncepossessed:asIsatbetweenmycousins，IwassurprisedtofindhoweasyIfeltunderthetotalneglectoftheoneandthesemi—sarcasticattentionsoftheother—Elizadidnotmortify，norGeorgianaruffleme。Thefactwas，Ihadotherthingstothinkabout;withinthelastfewmonthsfeelingshadbeenstirredinmesomuchmorepotentthananytheycouldraise—painsandpleasuressomuchmoreacuteandexquisitehadbeenexcitedthananyitwasintheirpowertoinflictorbestow—thattheirairsgavemenoconcerneitherforgoodorbad。

“HowisMrs。Reed？”Iaskedsoon，lookingcalmlyatGeorgiana，whothoughtfittobridleatthedirectaddress，asifitwereanunexpectedliberty。

“Mrs。Reed？Ah！mama，youmean;sheisextremelypoorly:Idoubtifyoucanseeherto—night。”

“If，”saidI，“youwouldjuststepupstairsandtellherIamcome，Ishouldbemuchobligedtoyou。”

Georgianaalmoststarted，andsheopenedherblueeyeswildandwide。“Iknowshehadaparticularwishtoseeme，”Iadded，“andIwouldnotdeferattendingtoherdesirelongerthanisabsolutelynecessary。”

“Mamadislikesbeingdisturbedinanevening，”remarkedEliza。Isoonrose，quietlytookoffmybonnetandgloves，uninvited，andsaidIwouldjuststepouttoBessie—whowas，Idaredsay，inthekitchen—andaskhertoascertainwhetherMrs。Reedwasdisposedtoreceivemeornotto—night。Iwent，andhavingfoundBessieanddespatchedheronmyerrand，Iproceededtotakefurthermeasures。Ithadheretoforebeenmyhabitalwaystoshrinkfromarrogance:receivedasIhadbeento—day，Ishould，ayearago，haveresolvedtoquitGatesheadtheverynextmorning;now，itwasdisclosedtomeallatoncethatthatwouldbeafoolishplan。Ihadtakenajourneyofahundredmilestoseemyaunt，andImuststaywithhertillshewasbetter—ordead:astoherdaughters’prideorfolly，Imustputitononeside，makemyselfindependentofit。SoIaddressedthehousekeeper;askedhertoshowmearoom，toldherIshouldprobablybeavisitorhereforaweekortwo，hadmytrunkconveyedtomychamber，andfolloweditthithermyself:ImetBessieonthelanding。

“Missisisawake，”saidshe;“Ihavetoldheryouarehere:comeandletusseeifshewillknowyou。”

Ididnotneedtobeguidedtothewell—knownroom，towhichIhadsooftenbeensummonedforchastisementorreprimandinformerdays。IhastenedbeforeBessie;Isoftlyopenedthedoor:ashadedlightstoodonthetable，foritwasnowgettingdark。Therewasthegreatfour—postbedwithamberhangingsasofold;therethetoilet—table，thearmchair，andthefootstool，atwhichIhadahundredtimesbeensentencedtokneel，toaskpardonforoffencesbymeuncommitted。Ilookedintoacertaincornernear，half—expectingtoseetheslimoutlineofaoncedreadedswitchwhichusedtolurkthere，waitingtoleapoutimp—likeandlacemyquiveringpalmorshrinkingneck。Iapproachedthebed;Iopenedthecurtainsandleantoverthehigh—piledpillows。

WelldidIrememberMrs。Reed’sface，andIeagerlysoughtthefamiliarimage。Itisahappythingthattimequellsthelongingsofvengeanceandhushesthepromptingsofrageandaversion。Ihadleftthiswomaninbitternessandhate，andIcamebacktohernowwithnootheremotionthanasortofruthforhergreatsufferings，andastrongyearningtoforgetandforgiveallinjuries—tobereconciledandclasphandsinamity。

Thewell—knownfacewasthere:stern，relentlessasever—therewasthatpeculiareyewhichnothingcouldmelt，andthesomewhatraised，imperious，despoticeyebrow。Howoftenhaditloweredonmemenaceandhate！andhowtherecollectionofchildhood’sterrorsandsorrowsrevivedasItraceditsharshlinenow！AndyetIstoopeddownandkissedher:shelookedatme。

“IsthisJaneEyre？”shesaid。

“Yes，AuntReed。Howareyou，dearaunt？”

IhadoncevowedthatIwouldnevercallherauntagain:Ithoughtitnosintoforgetandbreakthatvownow。Myfingershadfastenedonherhandwhichlayoutsidethesheet:hadshepressedminekindly，Ishouldatthatmomenthaveexperiencedtruepleasure。Butunimpressionablenaturesarenotsosoonsoftened，norarenaturalantipathiessoreadilyeradicated。Mrs。Reedtookherhandaway，and，turningherfaceratherfromme，sheremarkedthatthenightwaswarm。Againsheregardedmesoicily，Ifeltatoncethatheropinionofme—herfeelingtowardsme—wasunchangedandunchangeable。Iknewbyherstonyeye—opaquetotenderness，indissolubletotears—thatshewasresolvedtoconsidermebadtothelast;becausetobelievemegoodwouldgivehernogenerouspleasure:onlyasenseofmortification。

Ifeltpain，andthenIfeltire;andthenIfeltadeterminationtosubdueher—tobehermistressinspitebothofhernatureandherwill。Mytearshadrisen，justasinchildhood:Iorderedthembacktotheirsource。Ibroughtachairtothebed—head:Isatdownandleanedoverthepillow。

“Yousentforme，”Isaid，“andIamhere;anditismyintentiontostaytillIseehowyougeton。”

“Oh，ofcourse！Youhaveseenmydaughters？”

“Yes。”

“Well，youmaytellthemIwishyoutostaytillIcantalksomethingsoverwithyouIhaveonmymind:to—nightitistoolate，andIhaveadifficultyinrecallingthem。ButtherewassomethingIwishedtosay—letmesee—”

Thewanderinglookandchangedutterancetoldwhatwreckhadtakenplaceinheroncevigorousframe。Turningrestlessly，shedrewthebedclothesroundher;myelbow，restingonacornerofthequilt，fixeditdown:shewasatonceirritated。

“Situp！”saidshe;“don’tannoymewithholdingtheclothesfast。AreyouJaneEyre？”

“IamJaneEyre。”

“Ihavehadmoretroublewiththatchildthananyonewouldbelieve。Suchaburdentobeleftonmyhands—andsomuchannoyanceasshecausedme，dailyandhourly，withherincomprehensibledisposition，andhersuddenstartsoftemper，andhercontinual，unnaturalwatchingsofone’smovements！Ideclareshetalkedtomeoncelikesomethingmad，orlikeafiend—nochildeverspokeorlookedasshedid;Iwasgladtogetherawayfromthehouse。WhatdidtheydowithheratLowood？Thefeverbrokeoutthere，andmanyofthepupilsdied。She，however，didnotdie:butIsaidshedid—Iwishshehaddied！”

“Astrangewish，Mrs。Reed;whydoyouhateherso？”

“Ihadadisliketohermotheralways;forshewasmyhusband’sonlysister，andagreatfavouritewithhim:heopposedthefamily’sdisowningherwhenshemadeherlowmarriage;andwhennewscameofherdeath，heweptlikeasimpleton。Hewouldsendforthebaby;thoughIentreatedhimrathertoputitouttonurseandpayforitsmaintenance。IhateditthefirsttimeIsetmyeyesonit—asickly，whining，piningthing！Itwouldwailinitscradleallnightlong—notscreamingheartilylikeanyotherchild，butwhimperingandmoaning。Reedpitiedit;andheusedtonurseitandnoticeitasifithadbeenhisown:more，indeed，thanheevernoticedhisownatthatage。Hewouldtrytomakemychildrenfriendlytothelittlebeggar:thedarlingscouldnotbearit，andhewasangrywiththemwhentheyshowedtheirdislike。Inhislastillness，hehaditbroughtcontinuallytohisbedside;andbutanhourbeforehedied，heboundmebyvowtokeepthecreature。Iwouldassoonhavebeenchargedwithapauperbratoutofaworkhouse:buthewasweak，naturallyweak。Johndoesnotatallresemblehisfather，andIamgladofit:Johnislikemeandlikemybrothers—heisquiteaGibson。Oh，Iwishhewouldceasetormentingmewithlettersformoney？Ihavenomoremoneytogivehim:wearegettingpoor。Imustsendawayhalftheservantsandshutuppartofthehouse;orletitoff。Icanneversubmittodothat—yethowarewetogeton？Two—thirdsofmyincomegoesinpayingtheinterestofmortgages。Johngamblesdreadfully，andalwaysloses—poorboy！Heisbesetbysharpers:Johnissunkanddegraded—hislookisfrightful—IfeelashamedforhimwhenIseehim。”

Shewasgettingmuchexcited。“IthinkIhadbetterleavehernow，”saidItoBessie，whostoodontheothersideofthebed。

“Perhapsyouhad，Miss:butsheoftentalksinthiswaytowardsnight—inthemorningsheiscalmer。”

Irose。“Stop！”exclaimedMrs。Reed，“thereisanotherthingIwishedtosay。Hethreatensme—hecontinuallythreatensmewithhisowndeath，ormine:andIdreamsometimesthatIseehimlaidoutwithagreatwoundinhisthroat，orwithaswollenandblackenedface。Iamcometoastrangepass:Ihaveheavytroubles。Whatistobedone？Howisthemoneytobehad？”

Bessienowendeavouredtopersuadehertotakeasedativedraught:shesucceededwithdifficulty。Soonafter，Mrs。Reedgrewmorecomposed，andsankintoadozingstate。Ithenlefther。

MorethantendayselapsedbeforeIhadagainanyconversationwithher。Shecontinuedeitherdeliriousorlethargic;andthedoctorforbadeeverythingwhichcouldpainfullyexciteher。Meantime，IgotonaswellasIcouldwithGeorgianaandEliza。Theywereverycold，indeed，atfirst。Elizawouldsithalfthedaysewing，reading，orwriting，andscarcelyutterawordeithertomeorhersister。Georgianawouldchatternonsensetohercanarybirdbythehour，andtakenonoticeofme。ButIwasdeterminednottoseematalossforoccupationoramusement:Ihadbroughtmydrawingmaterialswithme，andtheyservedmeforboth。

Providedwithacaseofpencils，andsomesheetsofpaper，Iusedtotakeaseatapartfromthem，nearthewindow，andbusymyselfinsketchingfancyvignettes，representinganyscenethathappenedmomentarilytoshapeitselfintheever—shiftingkaleidoscopeofimagination:aglimpseofseabetweentworocks;therisingmoon，andashipcrossingitsdisk;agroupofreedsandwater—flags，andanaiad’shead，crownedwithlotus—flowers，risingoutofthem;anelfsittinginahedge—sparrow’snest，underawreathofhawthorn—bloom

OnemorningIfelltosketchingaface:whatsortofafaceitwastobe，Ididnotcareorknow。Itookasoftblackpencil，gaveitabroadpoint，andworkedaway。SoonIhadtracedonthepaperabroadandprominentforeheadandasquareloweroutlineofvisage:thatcontourgavemepleasure;myfingersproceededactivelytofillitwithfeatures。Strongly—markedhorizontaleyebrowsmustbetracedunderthatbrow;thenfollowed，naturally，awell—definednose，withastraightridgeandfullnostrils;thenaflexible—lookingmouth，bynomeansnarrow;thenafirmchin，withadecidedcleftdownthemiddleofit:ofcourse，someblackwhiskerswerewanted，andsomejettyhair，tuftedonthetemples，andwavedabovetheforehead。Nowfortheeyes:Ihadleftthemtothelast，becausetheyrequiredthemostcarefulworking。Idrewthemlarge;Ishapedthemwell:theeyelashesItracedlongandsombre;theiridslustrousandlarge。“Good！butnotquitethething，”Ithought，asIsurveyedtheeffect:“theywantmoreforceandspirit;”andIwroughttheshadesblacker，thatthelightsmightflashmorebrilliantly—ahappytouchortwosecuredsuccess。There，Ihadafriend’sfaceundermygaze;andwhatdiditsignifythatthoseyoungladiesturnedtheirbacksonme？Ilookedatit;Ismiledatthespeakinglikeness:Iwasabsorbedandcontent。

“Isthataportraitofsomeoneyouknow？”askedEliza，whohadapproachedmeunnoticed。Irespondedthatitwasmerelyafancyhead，andhurrieditbeneaththeothersheets。Ofcourse，Ilied:itwas，infact，averyfaithfulrepresentationofMr。Rochester。Butwhatwasthattoher，ortoanyonebutmyself？Georgianaalsoadvancedtolook。Theotherdrawingspleasedhermuch，butshecalledthat“anuglyman。”Theybothseemedsurprisedatmyskill。Iofferedtosketchtheirportraits;andeach，inturn，satforapenciloutline。ThenGeorgianaproducedheralbum。Ipromisedtocontributeawater—colourdrawing:thisputheratonceintogoodhumour。Sheproposedawalkinthegrounds。Beforewehadbeenouttwohours，weweredeepinaconfidentialconversation:shehadfavouredmewithadescriptionofthebrilliantwintershehadspentinLondontwoseasonsago—oftheadmirationshehadthereexcited—theattentionshehadreceived;andIevengothintsofthetitledconquestshehadmade。Inthecourseoftheafternoonandeveningthesehintswereenlargedon:varioussoftconversationswerereported，andsentimentalscenesrepresented;and，inshort，avolumeofanoveloffashionablelifewasthatdayimprovisedbyherformybenefit。Thecommunicationswererenewedfromdaytoday:theyalwaysranonthesametheme—herself，herloves，andwoes。Itwasstrangesheneveronceadvertedeithertohermother’sillness，orherbrother’sdeath，orthepresentgloomystateofthefamilyprospects。Hermindseemedwhollytakenupwithreminiscencesofpastgaiety，andaspirationsafterdissipationstocome。Shepassedaboutfiveminuteseachdayinhermother’ssick—room，andnomore。