第20章

“Hadyoueverexperienceofsuchacharacter，sir？Didyoueverlovesuchanone？”

“Iloveitnow。”

“Butbeforeme:ifI，indeed，inanyrespectcomeuptoyourdifficultstandard？”

“Inevermetyourlikeness。Jane，youpleaseme，andyoumasterme—youseemtosubmit，andIlikethesenseofpliancyyouimpart;andwhileIamtwiningthesoft，silkenskeinroundmyfinger，itsendsathrillupmyarmtomyheart。Iaminfluenced—conquered;andtheinfluenceissweeterthanIcanexpress;andtheconquestIundergohasawitcherybeyondanytriumphIcanwin。Whydoyousmile，Jane？Whatdoesthatinexplicable，thatuncannyturnofcountenancemean？”

“Iwasthinking，sir（youwillexcusetheidea;itwasinvoluntary），IwasthinkingofHerculesandSamsonwiththeircharmers—”

“Youwere，youlittleelfish—”

“Hush，sir！Youdon’ttalkverywiselyjustnow;anymorethanthosegentlemenactedverywisely。However，hadtheybeenmarried，theywouldnodoubtbytheirseverityashusbandshavemadeupfortheirsoftnessassuitors;andsowillyou，Ifear。Iwonderhowyouwillanswermeayearhence，shouldIaskafavouritdoesnotsuityourconvenienceorpleasuretogrant。”

“Askmesomethingnow，Jane，—theleastthing:Idesiretobeentreated—”

“IndeedIwill，sir;Ihavemypetitionallready。”

“Speak！Butifyoulookupandsmilewiththatcountenance，IshallswearconcessionbeforeIknowtowhat，andthatwillmakeafoolofme。”

“Notatall，sir;Iaskonlythis:don’tsendforthejewels，anddon’tcrownmewithroses:youmightaswellputaborderofgoldlaceroundthatplainpockethandkerchiefyouhavethere。”

“Imightaswell‘gildrefinedgold。’Iknowit:yourequestisgrantedthen—forthetime。IwillremandtheorderIdespatchedtomybanker。Butyouhavenotyetaskedforanything;youhaveprayedagifttobewithdrawn:tryagain。”

“Wellthen，sir，havethegoodnesstogratifymycuriosity，whichismuchpiquedononepoint。”

Helookeddisturbed。“What？what？”hesaidhastily。“Curiosityisadangerouspetition:itiswellIhavenottakenavowtoaccordeveryrequest—”

“Buttherecanbenodangerincomplyingwiththis，sir。”

“Utterit，Jane:butIwishthatinsteadofamereinquiryinto，perhaps，asecret，itwasawishforhalfmyestate。”

“Now，KingAhasuerus！WhatdoIwantwithhalfyourestate？DoyouthinkIamaJew—usurer，seekinggoodinvestmentinland？Iwouldmuchratherhaveallyourconfidence。Youwillnotexcludemefromyourconfidenceifyouadmitmetoyourheart？”

“Youarewelcometoallmyconfidencethatisworthhaving，Jane;butforGod’ssake，don’tdesireauselessburden！Don’tlongforpoison—don’tturnoutadownrightEveonmyhands！”

“Whynot，sir？Youhavejustbeentellingmehowmuchyoulikedtobeconquered，andhowpleasantover—persuasionistoyou。Don’tyouthinkIhadbettertakeadvantageoftheconfession，andbeginandcoaxandentreat—evencryandbesulkyifnecessary—forthesakeofamereessayofmypower？”

“Idareyoutoanysuchexperiment。Encroach，presume，andthegameisup。”

“Isit，sir？Yousoongivein。Howsternyoulooknow！Youreyebrowshavebecomeasthickasmyfinger，andyourforeheadresembleswhat，insomeveryastonishingpoetry，Ioncesawstyled，‘ablue—piledthunderloft。’Thatwillbeyourmarriedlook，sir，Isuppose？”

“Ifthatwillbeyourmarriedlook，I，asaChristian，willsoongiveupthenotionofconsortingwithamerespriteorsalamander。Butwhathadyoutoask，thing，—outwithit？”

“There，youarelessthancivilnow;andIlikerudenessagreatdealbetterthanflattery。Ihadratherbeathingthananangel。ThisiswhatIhavetoask，—WhydidyoutakesuchpainstomakemebelieveyouwishedtomarryMissIngram？”

“Isthatall？ThankGoditisnoworse！”Andnowheunknithisblackbrows;lookeddown，smilingatme，andstrokedmyhair，asifwellpleasedatseeingadangeraverted。“IthinkImayconfess，”hecontinued，“evenalthoughIshouldmakeyoualittleindignant，Jane—andIhaveseenwhatafire—spirityoucanbewhenyouareindignant。Youglowedinthecoolmoonlightlastnight，whenyoumutiniedagainstfate，andclaimedyourrankasmyequal。Janet，by—the—bye，itwasyouwhomademetheoffer。”

“OfcourseIdid。Buttothepointifyouplease，sir—MissIngram？”

“Well，IfeignedcourtshipofMissIngram，becauseIwishedtorenderyouasmadlyinlovewithmeasIwaswithyou;andIknewjealousywouldbethebestallyIcouldcallinforthefurtheranceofthatend。”

“Excellent！Nowyouaresmall—notonewhitbiggerthantheendofmylittlefinger。Itwasaburningshameandascandalousdisgracetoactinthatway。DidyouthinknothingofMissIngram’sfeelings，sir？”

“Herfeelingsareconcentratedinone—pride;andthatneedshumbling。Wereyoujealous，Jane？”

“Nevermind，Mr。Rochester:itisinnowayinterestingtoyoutoknowthat。Answermetrulyoncemore。DoyouthinkMissIngramwillnotsufferfromyourdishonestcoquetry？Won’tshefeelforsakenanddeserted？”

“Impossible！—whenItoldyouhowshe，onthecontrary，desertedme:theideaofmyinsolvencycooled，orratherextinguished，herflameinamoment。”

“Youhaveacurious，designingmind，Mr。Rochester。Iamafraidyourprinciplesonsomepointsareeccentric。”

“Myprincipleswerenevertrained，Jane:theymayhavegrownalittleawryforwantofattention。”

“Onceagain，seriously;mayIenjoythegreatgoodthathasbeenvouchsafedtome，withoutfearingthatanyoneelseissufferingthebitterpainImyselffeltawhileago？”

“Thatyoumay，mygoodlittlegirl:thereisnotanotherbeingintheworldhasthesamepureloveformeasyourself—forIlaythatpleasantunctiontomysoul，Jane，abeliefinyouraffection。”

Iturnedmylipstothehandthatlayonmyshoulder。Ilovedhimverymuch—morethanIcouldtrustmyselftosay—morethanwordshadpowertoexpress。

“Asksomethingmore，”hesaidpresently;“itismydelighttobeentreated，andtoyield。”

Iwasagainreadywithmyrequest。“CommunicateyourintentionstoMrs。Fairfax，sir:shesawmewithyoulastnightinthehall，andshewasshocked。GivehersomeexplanationbeforeIseeheragain。Itpainsmetobemisjudgedbysogoodawoman。”

“Gotoyourroom，andputonyourbonnet，”hereplied。“ImeanyoutoaccompanymetoMillcotethismorning;andwhileyouprepareforthedrive，Iwillenlightentheoldlady’sunderstanding。Didshethink，Janet，youhadgiventheworldforlove，andconsidereditwelllost？”

“IbelieveshethoughtIhadforgottenmystation，andyours，sir。”

“Station！station！—yourstationisinmyheart，andonthenecksofthosewhowouldinsultyou，noworhereafter。—Go。”

Iwassoondressed;andwhenIheardMr。RochesterquitMrs。Fairfax’sparlour，Ihurrieddowntoit。Theoldlady，hadbeenreadinghermorningportionofScripture—theLessonfortheday;herBiblelayopenbeforeher，andherspectacleswereuponit。Heroccupation，suspendedbyMr。Rochester’sannouncement，seemednowforgotten:hereyes，fixedontheblankwallopposite，expressedthesurpriseofaquietmindstirredbyunwontedtidings。Seeingme，sherousedherself:shemadeasortofefforttosmile，andframedafewwordsofcongratulation;butthesmileexpired，andthesentencewasabandonedunfinished。Sheputupherspectacles，shuttheBible，andpushedherchairbackfromthetable。

“Ifeelsoastonished，”shebegan，“Ihardlyknowwhattosaytoyou，MissEyre。Ihavesurelynotbeendreaming，haveI？SometimesIhalffallasleepwhenIamsittingaloneandfancythingsthathaveneverhappened。IthasseemedtomemorethanoncewhenIhavebeeninadoze，thatmydearhusband，whodiedfifteenyearssince，hascomeinandsatdownbesideme;andthatIhaveevenheardhimcallmebymyname，Alice，asheusedtodo。Now，canyoutellmewhetheritisactuallytruethatMr。Rochesterhasaskedyoutomarryhim？Don’tlaughatme。ButIreallythoughthecameinherefiveminutesago，andsaidthatinamonthyouwouldbehiswife。”

“Hehassaidthesamethingtome，”Ireplied。

“Hehas！Doyoubelievehim？Haveyouacceptedhim？”

“Yes。”

Shelookedatmebewildered。“Icouldneverhavethoughtit。Heisaproudman:alltheRochesterswereproud:andhisfather，atleast，likedmoney。He，too，hasalwaysbeencalledcareful。Hemeanstomarryyou？”

“Hetellsmeso。”

Shesurveyedmywholeperson:inhereyesIreadthattheyhadtherefoundnocharmpowerfulenoughtosolvetheenigma。

“Itpassesme！”shecontinued;“butnodoubt，itistruesinceyousayso。Howitwillanswer，Icannottell:Ireallydon’tknow。Equalityofpositionandfortuneisoftenadvisableinsuchcases;andtherearetwentyyearsofdifferenceinyourages。Hemightalmostbeyourfather。”

“No，indeed，Mrs。Fairfax！”exclaimedI，nettled;“heisnothinglikemyfather！Noone，whosawustogether，wouldsupposeitforaninstant。Mr。Rochesterlooksasyoung，andisasyoung，assomemenatfive—and—twenty。”

“Isitreallyforloveheisgoingtomarryyou？”sheasked。

Iwassohurtbyhercoldnessandscepticism，thatthetearsrosetomyeyes。

“Iamsorrytogrieveyou，”pursuedthewidow;“butyouaresoyoung，andsolittleacquaintedwithmen，Iwishedtoputyouonyourguard。Itisanoldsayingthat‘allisnotgoldthatglitters;’andinthiscaseIdofeartherewillbesomethingfoundtobedifferenttowhateitheryouorIexpect。”

“Why？—amIamonster？”Isaid:“isitimpossiblethatMr。Rochestershouldhaveasincereaffectionforme？”

“No:youareverywell;andmuchimprovedoflate;andMr。Rochester，Idaresay，isfondofyou。Ihavealwaysnoticedthatyouwereasortofpetofhis。Therearetimeswhen，foryoursake，Ihavebeenalittleuneasyathismarkedpreference，andhavewishedtoputyouonyourguard:butIdidnotliketosuggesteventhepossibilityofwrong。Iknewsuchanideawouldshock，perhapsoffendyou;andyouweresodiscreet，andsothoroughlymodestandsensible，Ihopedyoumightbetrustedtoprotectyourself。nightIcannottellyouwhatIsufferedwhenIsoughtalloverthehouse，andcouldfindyounowhere，northemastereither;andthen，attwelveo’clock，sawyoucomeinwithhim。”

“Well，nevermindthatnow，”Iinterruptedimpatiently;“itisenoughthatallwasright。”

“Ihopeallwillberightintheend，”shesaid:“butbelieveme，youcannotbetoocareful。TryandkeepMr。Rochesteratadistance:distrustyourselfaswellashim。Gentlemeninhisstationarenotaccustomedtomarrytheirgovernesses。”

Iwasgrowingtrulyirritated:happily，Adèleranin。

“Letmego，—letmegotoMillcotetoo！”shecried。“Mr。Rochesterwon’t:thoughthereissomuchroominthenewcarriage。Beghimtoletmegomademoiselle。”

“ThatIwill，Adèle;”andIhastenedawaywithher，gladtoquitmygloomymonitress。Thecarriagewasready:theywerebringingitroundtothefront，andmymasterwasthepavement，Pilotfollowinghimbackwardsandforwards。

“Adèlemayaccompanyus，mayshenot，sir？”

“Itoldherno。I’llhavenobrats！—I’llhaveonlyyou。”

“Dolethergo，Mr。Rochester，ifyouplease:itwouldbebetter。”

“Notit:shewillbearestraint。”

Hewasquiteperemptory，bothinlookandvoice。ThechillofMrs。Fairfax’swarnings，andthedampofherdoubtswereuponme:somethingofunsubstantialityanduncertaintyhadbesetmyhopes。Ihalflostthesenseofpoweroverhim。Iwasaboutmechanicallytoobeyhim，withoutfurtherremonstrance;butashehelpedmeintothecarriage，helookedatmyface。

“Whatisthematter？”heasked;“allthesunshineisgone。Doyoureallywishthebairntogo？Willitannoyyouifsheisleftbehind？”

“Iwouldfarrathershewent，sir。”

“Thenoffforyourbonnet，andbacklikeaflashoflightning！”criedhetoAdèle。

Sheobeyedhimwithwhatspeedshemight。

“Afterall，asinglemorning’sinterruptionwillnotmattermuch，”saidhe，“whenImeanshortlytoclaimyou—yourthoughts，conversation，andcompany—forlife。”

Adèle，whenliftedin，commencedkissingme，bywayofexpressinghergratitudeformyintercession:shewasinstantlystowedawayintoacornerontheothersideofhim。ShethenpeepedroundtowhereIsat;sosternaneighbourwastoorestrictivetohim，inhispresentfractiousmood，shedaredwhispernoobservations，noraskofhimanyinformation。

“Lethercometome，”Ientreated:“shewill，perhaps，troubleyou，sir:thereisplentyofroomonthisside。”

Hehandedheroverasifshehadbeenalapdog。“I’llsendhertoschoolyet，”hesaid，butnowhewassmiling。

Adèleheardhim，andaskedifshewastogotoschool“sansmademoiselle？”

“Yes，”hereplied，“absolutelysansmademoiselle;forIamtotakemademoiselletothemoon，andthereIshallseekacaveinoneofthewhitevalleysamongthevolcano—tops，andmademoiselleshalllivewithmethere，andonlyme。”

“Shewillhavenothingtoeat:youwillstarveher，”observedAdèle。

“Ishallgathermannaforhermorningandnight:theplainsandhillsidesinthemoonarebleachedwithmanna，Adèle。”

“Shewillwanttowarmherself:whatwillshedoforafire？”

“Firerisesoutofthelunarmountains:whensheiscold，I’llcarryheruptoapeak，andlayherdownontheedgeofacrater。”

“Oh，qu’elleyseramal—peucomfortable！Andherclothes，theywillwearout:howcanshegetnewones？”

Mr。Rochesterprofessedtobepuzzled。“Hem！”saidhe。“Whatwouldyoudo，Adèle？Cudgelyourbrainsforanexpedient。Howwouldawhiteorapinkcloudanswerforagown，doyouthink？Andonecouldcutaprettyenoughscarfoutofarainbow。”

“Sheisfarbetterassheis，”concludedAdèle，aftermusingsometime:“besides，shewouldgettiredoflivingwithonlyyouinthemoon。IfIweremademoiselle，Iwouldneverconsenttogowithyou。”

“Shehasconsented:shehaspledgedherword。”

“Butyoucan’tgetherthere;thereisnoroadtothemoon:itisallair;andneitheryounorshecanfly。”

“Adèle，lookatthatfield。”WewerenowoutsideThornfieldgates，andbowlinglightlyalongthesmoothroadtoMillcote，wherethedustwaswelllaidbythethunderstorm，and，wherethelowhedgesandloftytimbertreesoneachsideglistenedgreenandrain—refreshed。

“Inthatfield，Adèle，Iwaswalkinglateoneeveningaboutafortnightsince—theeveningofthedayyouhelpedmetomakehayintheorchardmeadows;and，asIwastiredwithrakingswaths，Isatdowntorestmeonastile;andthereItookoutalittlebookandapencil，andbegantowriteaboutamisfortunethatbefellmelongago，andawishIhadforhappydaystocome:Iwaswritingawayveryfast，thoughdaylightwasfadingfromtheleaf，whensomethingcameupthepathandstoppedtwoyardsoffme。Ilookedatit。Itwasalittlethingwithaveilofgossameronitshead。Ibeckonedittocomenearme;itstoodsoonatmyknee。Ineverspoketoit，anditneverspoketome，inwords;butIreaditseyes，anditreadmine;andourspeechlesscolloquywastothiseffect—

“Itwasafairy，andcomefromElf—land，itsaid;anditserrandwastomakemehappy:Imustgowithitoutofthecommonworldtoalonelyplace—suchasthemoon，forinstance—anditnoddeditsheadtowardsherhorn，risingoverHay—hill:ittoldmeofthealabastercaveandsilvervalewherewemightlive。IsaidIshouldliketogo;butremindedit，asyoudidme，thatIhadnowingstofly。

“‘Oh，’returnedthefairy，‘thatdoesnotsignify！Hereisatalismanwillremovealldifficulties;’andsheheldoutaprettygoldring。‘Putit，’shesaid，‘onthefourthfingerofmylefthand，andIamyours，andyouaremine;andweshallleaveearth，andmakeourownheavenyonder。’Shenoddedagainatthemoon。Thering，Adèle，isinmybreeches—pocket，underthedisguiseofasovereign:butImeansoontochangeittoaringagain。”

“Butwhathasmademoiselletodowithit？Idon’tcareforthefairy:yousaiditwasmademoiselleyouwouldtaketothemoon？”

“Mademoiselleisafairy，”hesaid，whisperingmysteriously。WhereuponItoldhernottomindhisbadinage;andshe，onherpart，evincedafundofgenuineFrenchscepticism:denominatingMr。Rochester“unvraimenteur，”andassuringhimthatshemadenoaccountwhateverofhis“contesdefee，”andthat“dureste，iln’yavaitpasdefées，etquandmemeilyenavait:”shewassuretheywouldneverappeartohim，norevergivehimrings，oroffertolivewithhiminthemoon。

ThehourspentatMillcotewasasomewhatharassingonetome。Mr。Rochesterobligedmetogotoacertainsilkwarehouse:thereIwasorderedtochoosehalf—a—dozendresses。Ihatedthebusiness，Ibeggedleavetodeferit:no—itshouldbegonethroughwithnow。Bydintofentreatiesexpressedinenergeticwhispers，Ireducedthehalf—dozentotwo:thesehowever，hevowedhewouldselecthimself。WithanxietyIwatchedhiseyeroveoverthegaystores:hefixedonarichsilkofthemostbrilliantamethystdye，andasuperbpinksatin。Itoldhiminanewseriesofwhispers，thathemightaswellbuymeagoldgownandasilverbonnetatonce:Ishouldcertainlyneverventuretowearhischoice。Withinfinitedifficulty，forhewasstubbornasastone，Ipersuadedhimtomakeanexchangeinfavourofasoberblacksatinandpearl—greysilk。“Itmightpassforthepresent，”hesaid;“buthewouldyetseemeglitteringlikeaparterre。”

GladwasItogethimoutofthesilkwarehouse，andthenoutofajewellersshop:themoreheboughtme，themoremycheekburnedwithasenseofannoyanceanddegradation。Aswere—enteredthecarriage，andIsatbackfeverishandfagged，Irememberedwhat，inthehurryofevents，darkandbright，Ihadwhollyforgotten—theletterofmyuncle，JohnEyre，toMrs。Reed:hisintentiontoadoptmeandmakemehislegatee。“Itwould，indeed，bearelief，”Ithought，“ifIhadeversosmallanindependency;InevercanbearbeingdressedlikeadollbyMr。Rochester，orsittinglikeasecondDanaewiththegoldenshowerfallingdailyroundme。IwillwritetoMadeirathemomentIgethome，andtellmyuncleJohnIamgoingtobemarried，andtowhom:ifIhadbutaprospectofonedaybringingMr。Rochesteranaccessionoffortune，Icouldbetterenduretobekeptbyhimnow。”Andsomewhatrelievedbythisidea（whichIfailednottoexecutethatday），Iventuredoncemoretomeetmymaster’sandlover’seye，whichmostpertinaciouslysoughtmine，thoughIavertedbothfaceandgaze。Hesmiled;andIthoughthissmilewassuchasasultanmight，inablissfulandfondmoment，bestowonaslavehisgoldandgemshadenriched:Icrushedhishand，whichwaseverhuntingmine，vigorously，andthrustitbacktohimredwiththepassionatepressure。

“Youneednotlookinthatway，”Isaid;“ifyoudo，I’llwearnothingbutmyoldLowoodfrockstotheendofthechapter。I’llbemarriedinthislilacgingham:youmaymakeadressing—gownforyourselfoutofthepearl—greysilk，andaninfiniteseriesofwaistcoatsoutoftheblacksatin。”

Hechuckled;herubbedhishands。“Oh，itisrichtoseeandhearher？”heexclaimed。“Issheoriginal？Isshepiquant？IwouldnotexchangethisonelittleEnglishgirlfortheGrandTurk’swholeseraglio，gazelle—eyes，houriforms，andall！”

TheEasternallusionbitmeagain。“I’llnotstandyouaninchinthesteadofaseraglio，”Isaid;“sodon’tconsidermeanequivalentforone。Ifyouhaveafancyforanythinginthatline，awaywithyou，sir，tothebazaarsofStamboulwithoutdelay，andlayoutinextensiveslave—purchasessomeofthatsparecashyouseematalosstospendsatisfactorilyhere。”

“Andwhatwillyoudo，Janet，whileIambargainingforsomanytonsoffleshandsuchanassortmentofblackeyes？”

“I’llbepreparingmyselftogooutasamissionarytopreachlibertytothemthatareenslaved—yourhareminmatesamongsttherest。I’llgetadmittedthere，andI’llstirupmutiny;andyou，three—tailedbashawasyouare，sir，shallinatricefindyourselffetteredamongstourhands:norwillI，forone，consenttocutyourbondstillyouhavesignedacharter，themostliberalthatdespoteveryetconferred。”

“Iwouldconsenttobeatyourmercy，Jane。”

“Iwouldhavenomercy，Mr。Rochester，ifyousupplicatedforitwithaneyelikethat。Whileyoulookedso，Ishouldbecertainthatwhatevercharteryoumightgrantundercoercion，yourfirstact，whenreleased，wouldbetoviolateitsconditions。”

“Why，Jane，whatwouldyouhave？Ifearyouwillcompelmetogothroughaprivatemarriageceremony，besidesthatperformedatthealtar。Youwillstipulate，Isee，forpeculiarterms—whatwilltheybe？”

“Ionlywantaneasymind，sir;notcrushedbycrowdedobligations。DoyourememberwhatyousaidofCélineVarens？—ofthediamonds，thecashmeresyougaveher？IwillnotbeyourEnglishCélineVarens。IshallcontinuetoactasAdèle’sgoverness;bythatIshallearnmyboardandlodging，andthirtypoundsayearbesides。I’llfurnishmyownwardrobeoutofthatmoney，andyoushallgivemenothingbut—”

“Well，butwhat？”

“Yourregard;andifIgiveyoumineinreturn，thatdebtwillbequit。”

“Well，forcoolnativeimpudenceandpureinnatepride，youhaven’tyourequal，”saidhe。WewerenowapproachingThornfield。“Willitpleaseyoutodinewithmeto—day？”heasked，aswere—enteredthegates。

“No，thankyou，sir。”

“Andwhatfor，‘no，thankyou？’ifonemayinquire。”

“Ineverhavedinedwithyou，sir:andIseenoreasonwhyIshouldnow:till—”

“Tillwhat？Youdelightinhalf—phrases。”

“TillIcan’thelpit。”

“DoyousupposeIeatlikeanogreoraghoul，thatyoudreadbeingthecompanionofmyrepast？”

“Ihaveformednosuppositiononthesubject，sir;butIwanttogoonasusualforanothermonth。”

“Youwillgiveupyourgovernessingslaveryatonce。”

“Indeed，beggingyourpardon，sir，Ishallnot。Ishalljustgoonwithitasusual。Ishallkeepoutofyourwayallday，asIhavebeenaccustomedtodo:youmaysendformeintheevening，whenyoufeeldisposedtoseeme，andI’llcomethen;butatnoothertime。”

“Iwantasmoke，Jane，orapinchofsnuff，tocomfortmeunderallthis，‘pourmedonnerunecontenance，’asAdèlewouldsay;andunfortunatelyIhaveneithermycigar—case，normysnuff—box。Butlisten—whisper。Itisyourtimenow，littletyrant，butitwillbeminepresently;andwhenonceIhavefairlyseizedyou，tohaveandtohold，I’lljust—figurativelyspeaking—attachyoutoachainlikethis”（touchinghiswatch—guard）。“Yes，bonnyweething，I’llwearyouinmybosom，lestmyjewelIshouldtyne。”

Hesaidthisashehelpedmetoalightfromthecarriage，andwhileheafterwardsliftedoutAdèle，Ienteredthehouse，andmadegoodmyretreatupstairs。

Hedulysummonedmetohispresenceintheevening。Ihadpreparedanoccupationforhim;forIwasdeterminednottospendthewholetimeinatête—à—têteconversation。Irememberedhisfinevoice;Iknewhelikedtosing—goodsingersgenerallydo。Iwasnovocalistmyself，and，inhisfastidiousjudgment，nomusician，either;butIdelightedinlisteningwhentheperformancewasgood。Nosoonerhadtwilight，thathourofromance，begantolowerherblueandstarrybanneroverthelattice，thanIrose，openedthepiano，andentreatedhim，fortheloveofheaven，togivemeasong。HesaidIwasacapriciouswitch，andthathewouldrathersinganothertime;butIaverredthatnotimewaslikethepresent。

“DidIlikehisvoice？”heasked。

“Verymuch。”Iwasnotfondofpamperingthatsusceptiblevanityofhis;butforonce，andfrommotivesofexpediency，Iwoulde’ensootheandstimulateit。

“Then，Jane，youmustplaytheaccompaniment。”

“Verywell，sir，Iwilltry。”

Ididtry，butwaspresentlysweptoffthestoolanddenominated“alittlebungler。”Beingpushedunceremoniouslytooneside—whichwaspreciselywhatIwished—heusurpedmyplace，andproceededtoaccompanyhimself:forhecouldplayaswellassing。Ihiedmetothewindow—recess。AndwhileIsatthereandlookedoutonthestilltreesanddimlawn，toasweetairwassunginmellowtonesthefollowingstrain:—

“Thetruestlovethateverheart

Feltatitskindledcore，

Didthrougheachvein，inquickenedstart，

Thetideofbeingpour。

Hercomingwasmyhopeeachday，

Herpartingwasmypain;

Thechancethatdidherstepsdelay

Wasiceineveryvein。

Idreameditwouldbenamelessbliss，

AsIloved，lovedtobe;

AndtothisobjectdidIpress

Asblindaseagerly。

Butwideaspathlesswasthespace

Thatlayourlivesbetween，

Anddangerousasthefoamyrace

Ofocean—surgesgreen。

Andhauntedasarobber—path

Throughwildernessorwood;

ForMightandRight，andWoeandWrath，

Betweenourspiritsstood。

Idangersdared;Ihindrancescorned;

Iomensdiddefy:

Whatevermenaced，harassed，warned，

Ipassedimpetuousby。

Onspedmyrainbow，fastaslight;

Iflewasinadream;

Forgloriousroseuponmysight

ThatchildofShowerandGleam。

Stillbrightoncloudsofsufferingdim

Shinesthatsoft，solemnjoy;

NorcareInow，howdenseandgrim

Disastersgathernigh。

Icarenotinthismomentsweet，

ThoughallIhaverushedo’er

Shouldcomeonpinion，strongandfleet，

Proclaimingvengeancesore:

ThoughhaughtyHateshouldstrikemedown，

Right，barapproachtome，

AndgrindingMight，withfuriousfrown，

Swearendlessenmity。

Mylovehasplacedherlittlehand

Withnoblefaithinmine，

Andvowedthatwedlock’ssacredband

Ournatureshallentwine。

Mylovehassworn，withsealingkiss，

Withmetolive—todie;

Ihaveatlastmynamelessbliss。

AsIlove—lovedamI！”

Heroseandcametowardsme，andIsawhisfaceallkindled，andhisfullfalcon—eyeflashing，andtendernessandpassionineverylineament。Iquailedmomentarily—thenIrallied。Softscene，daringdemonstration，Iwouldnothave;andIstoodinperilofboth:aweaponofdefencemustbeprepared—Iwhettedmytongue:ashereachedme，Iaskedwithasperity，“whomhewasgoingtomarrynow？”

“ThatwasastrangequestiontobeputbyhisdarlingJane。”

“Indeed！Iconsidereditaverynaturalandnecessaryone:hehadtalkedofhisfuturewifedyingwithhim。Whatdidhemeanbysuchapaganidea？Ihadnointentionofdyingwithhim—hemightdependonthat。”

“Oh，allhelonged，allheprayedfor，wasthatImightlivewithhim！DeathwasnotforsuchasI。”

“Indeeditwas:Ihadasgoodarighttodiewhenmytimecameashehad:butIshouldbidethattime，andnotbehurriedawayinasuttee。”

“WouldIforgivehimfortheselfishidea，andprovemypardonbyareconcilingkiss？”

“No:Iwouldratherbeexcused。”

HereIheardmyselfapostrophisedasa“hardlittlething;”anditwasadded，“anyotherwomanwouldhavebeenmeltedtomarrowathearingsuchstanzascroonedinherpraise。”

IassuredhimIwasnaturallyhard—veryflinty，andthathewouldoftenfindmeso;andthat，moreover，Iwasdeterminedtoshowhimdiversruggedpointsinmycharacterbeforetheensuingfourweekselapsed:heshouldknowfullywhatsortofabargainhehadmade，whiletherewasyettimetorescindit。

“WouldIbequietandtalkrationally？”

“Iwouldbequietifheliked，andastotalkingrationally，IflatteredmyselfIwasdoingthatnow。”