第6章

“Icameonpurposetofindyou，JaneEyre，”saidshe;“Iwantyouinmyroom;andasHelenBurnsiswithyou，shemaycometoo。”

Wewent;followingthesuperintendent’sguidance，wehadtothreadsomeintricatepassages，andmountastaircasebeforewereachedherapartment;itcontainedagoodfire，andlookedcheerful。MissTempletoldHelenBurnstobeseatedinalowarm—chairononesideofthehearth，andherselftakinganother，shecalledmetoherside。

“Isitallover？”sheasked，lookingdownatmyface。“Haveyoucriedyourgriefaway？”

“IamafraidInevershalldothat。”

“Why？”

“BecauseIhavebeenwronglyaccused;andyou，ma’am，andeverybodyelse，willnowthinkmewicked。”

“Weshallthinkyouwhatyouproveyourselftobe，mychild。Continuetoactasagoodgirl，andyouwillsatisfyus。”

“ShallI，MissTemple？”

“Youwill，”saidshe，passingherarmroundme。“AndnowtellmewhoistheladywhomMr。Brocklehurstcalledyourbenefactress？”

“Mrs。Reed，myuncle’swife。Myuncleisdead，andheleftmetohercare。”

“Didshenot，then，adoptyouofherownaccord？”

“No，ma’am;shewassorrytohavetodoit:butmyuncle，asIhaveoftenheardtheservantssay，gothertopromisebeforehediedthatshewouldalwayskeepme。”

“Wellnow，Jane，youknow，oratleastIwilltellyou，thatwhenacriminalisaccused，heisalwaysallowedtospeakinhisowndefence。Youhavebeenchargedwithfalsehood;defendyourselftomeaswellasyoucan。Saywhateveryourmemorysuggestsistrue;butaddnothingandexaggeratenothing。”

Iresolved，inthedepthofmyheart，thatIwouldbemostmoderate—mostcorrect;and，havingreflectedafewminutesinordertoarrangecoherentlywhatIhadtosay，Itoldherallthestoryofmysadchildhood。Exhaustedbyemotion，mylanguagewasmoresubduedthanitgenerallywaswhenitdevelopedthatsadtheme;andmindfulofHelen’swarningsagainsttheindulgenceofresentment，Iinfusedintothenarrativefarlessofgallandwormwoodthanordinary。Thusrestrainedandsimplified，itsoundedmorecredible:IfeltasIwentonthatMissTemplefullybelievedme。

InthecourseofthetaleIhadmentionedMr。Lloydashavingcometoseemeafterthefit:forIneverforgotthe，tome，frightfulepisodeofthered—room:indetailingwhich，myexcitementwassure，insomedegree，tobreakbounds;fornothingcouldsofteninmyrecollectionthespasmofagonywhichclutchedmyheartwhenMrs。Reedspurnedmywildsupplicationforpardon，andlockedmeasecondtimeinthedarkandhauntedchamber。

Ihadfinished:MissTempleregardedmeafewminutesinsilence;shethensaid—

“IknowsomethingofMr。Lloyd;Ishallwritetohim;ifhisreplyagreeswithyourstatement，youshallbepubliclyclearedfromeveryimputation;tome，Jane，youareclearnow。”

Shekissedme，andstillkeepingmeatherside（whereIwaswellcontentedtostand，forIderivedachild’spleasurefromthecontemplationofherface，herdress，heroneortwoornaments，herwhiteforehead，herclusteredandshiningcurls，andbeamingdarkeyes），sheproceededtoaddressHelenBurns。

“Howareyouto—night，Helen？Haveyoucoughedmuchto—day？”

“Notquitesomuch，Ithink，ma’am。”

“Andthepaininyourchest？”

“Itisalittlebetter。”

MissTemplegotup，tookherhandandexaminedherpulse;thenshereturnedtoherownseat:assheresumedit，Iheardhersighlow。Shewaspensiveafewminutes，thenrousingherself，shesaidcheerfully—

“Butyoutwoaremyvisitorsto—night;Imusttreatyouassuch。”Sherangherbell。

“Barbara，”shesaidtotheservantwhoansweredit，“Ihavenotyethadtea;bringthetrayandplacecupsforthesetwoyoungladies。”

Andatraywassoonbrought。Howpretty，tomyeyes，didthechinacupsandbrightteapotlook，placedonthelittleroundtablenearthefire！Howfragrantwasthesteamofthebeverage，andthescentofthetoast！ofwhich，however，I，tomydismay（forIwasbeginningtobehungry）discernedonlyaverysmallportion:MissTemplediscernedittoo。

“Barbara，”saidshe，“canyounotbringalittlemorebreadandbutter？Thereisnotenoughforthree。”

Barbarawentout:shereturnedsoon—

“Madam，Mrs。Hardensaysshehassentuptheusualquantity。”

Mrs。Harden，beitobserved，wasthehousekeeper:awomanafterMr。Brocklehurst’sownheart，madeupofequalpartsofwhaleboneandiron。

“Oh，verywell！”returnedMissTemple;“wemustmakeitdo，Barbara，Isuppose。”Andasthegirlwithdrewsheadded，smiling，“Fortunately，Ihaveitinmypowertosupplydeficienciesforthisonce。”

HavinginvitedHelenandmetoapproachthetable，andplacedbeforeeachofusacupofteawithonedeliciousbutthinmorseloftoast，shegotup，unlockedadrawer，andtakingfromitaparcelwrappedinpaper，disclosedpresentlytooureyesagood—sizedseed—cake。

“Imeanttogiveeachofyousomeofthistotakewithyou，”saidshe，“butasthereissolittletoast，youmusthaveitnow，”andsheproceededtocutsliceswithageneroushand。

Wefeastedthateveningasonnectarandambrosia;andnottheleastdelightoftheentertainmentwasthesmileofgratificationwithwhichourhostessregardedus，aswesatisfiedourfamishedappetitesonthedelicatefaresheliberallysupplied。

Teaoverandthetrayremoved，sheagainsummonedustothefire;wesatoneoneachsideofher，andnowaconversationfollowedbetweenherandHelen，whichitwasindeedaprivilegetobeadmittedtohear。

MissTemplehadalwayssomethingofserenityinherair，ofstateinhermien，ofrefinedproprietyinherlanguage，whichprecludeddeviationintotheardent，theexcited，theeager:somethingwhichchastenedthepleasureofthosewholookedonherandlistenedtoher，byacontrollingsenseofawe;andsuchwasmyfeelingnow:butastoHelenBurns，Iwasstruckwithwonder。

Therefreshingmeal，thebrilliantfire，thepresenceandkindnessofherbelovedinstructress，or，perhaps，morethanallthese，somethinginherownuniquemind，hadrousedherpowerswithinher。Theywoke，theykindled:first，theyglowedinthebrighttintofhercheek，whichtillthishourIhadneverseenbutpaleandbloodless;thentheyshoneintheliquidlustreofhereyes，whichhadsuddenlyacquiredabeautymoresingularthanthatofMissTemple’s—abeautyneitheroffinecolournorlongeyelash，norpencilledbrow，butofmeaning，ofmovement，ofradiance。Thenhersoulsatonherlips，andlanguageflowed，fromwhatsourceIcannottell。Hasagirloffourteenaheartlargeenough，vigorousenough，toholdtheswellingspringofpure，full，fervideloquence？SuchwasthecharacteristicofHelen’sdiscourseonthat，tome，memorableevening;herspiritseemedhasteningtolivewithinaverybriefspanasmuchasmanyliveduringaprotractedexistence。

TheyconversedofthingsIhadneverheardof;ofnationsandtimespast;ofcountriesfaraway;ofsecretsofnaturediscoveredorguessedat:theyspokeofbooks:howmanytheyhadread！Whatstoresofknowledgetheypossessed！ThentheyseemedsofamiliarwithFrenchnamesandFrenchauthors:butmyamazementreacheditsclimaxwhenMissTempleaskedHelenifshesometimessnatchedamomenttorecalltheLatinherfatherhadtaughther，andtakingabookfromashelf，badeherreadandconstrueapageofVirgil;andHelenobeyed，myorganofvenerationexpandingateverysoundingline。Shehadscarcelyfinishederethebellannouncedbedtime！nodelaycouldbeadmitted;MissTempleembracedusboth，saying，asshedrewustoherheart—

“Godblessyou，mychildren！”

Helensheheldalittlelongerthanme:shelethergomorereluctantly;itwasHelenhereyefollowedtothedoor;itwasforhersheasecondtimebreathedasadsigh;forhershewipedatearfromhercheek。

Onreachingthebedroom，weheardthevoiceofMissScatcherd:shewasexaminingdrawers;shehadjustpulledoutHelenBurns’s，andwhenweenteredHelenwasgreetedwithasharpreprimand，andtoldthatto—morrowsheshouldhavehalf—a—dozenofuntidilyfoldedarticlespinnedtohershoulder。

“Mythingswereindeedinshamefuldisorder，”murmuredHelentome，inalowvoice:“Iintendedtohavearrangedthem，butIforgot。”

Nextmorning，MissScatcherdwroteinconspicuouscharactersonapieceofpasteboardtheword“Slattern，”andbounditlikeaphylacteryroundHelen’slarge，mild，intelligent，andbenign—lookingforehead。Sheworeittillevening，patient，unresentful，regardingitasadeservedpunishment。ThemomentMissScatcherdwithdrewafterafternoonschool，IrantoHelen，toreitoff，andthrustitintothefire:thefuryofwhichshewasincapablehadbeenburninginmysoulallday，andtears，hotandlarge，hadcontinuallybeenscaldingmycheek;forthespectacleofhersadresignationgavemeanintolerablepainattheheart。

Aboutaweeksubsequentlytotheincidentsabovenarrated，MissTemple，whohadwrittentoMr。Lloyd，receivedhisanswer:itappearedthatwhathesaidwenttocorroboratemyaccount。MissTemple，havingassembledthewholeschool，announcedthatinquiryhadbeenmadeintothechargesallegedagainstJaneEyre，andthatshewasmosthappytobeabletopronouncehercompletelyclearedfromeveryimputation。Theteachersthenshookhandswithmeandkissedme，andamurmurofpleasureranthroughtheranksofmycompanions。

Thusrelievedofagrievousload，Ifromthathoursettoworkafresh，resolvedtopioneermywaythrougheverydifficulty:Itoiledhard，andmysuccesswasproportionatetomyefforts;mymemory，notnaturallytenacious，improvedwithpractice;exercisesharpenedmywits;inafewweeksIwaspromotedtoahigherclass;inlessthantwomonthsIwasallowedtocommenceFrenchanddrawing。Ilearnedthefirsttwotensesoftheverbetre，andsketchedmyfirstcottage（whosewalls，by—the—bye，outrivalledinslopethoseoftheleaningtowerofPisa），onthesameday。Thatnight，ongoingtobed，IforgottoprepareinimaginationtheBarmecidesupperofhotroastpotatoes，orwhitebreadandnewmilk，withwhichIwaswonttoamusemyinwardcravings:Ifeastedinsteadonthespectacleofidealdrawings，whichIsawinthedark;alltheworkofmyownhands:freelypencilledhousesandtrees，picturesquerocksandruins，Cuyp—likegroupsofcattle，sweetpaintingsofbutterflieshoveringoverunblownroses，ofbirdspickingatripecherries，ofwren’snestsenclosingpearl—likeeggs，wreathedaboutwithyoungivysprays。Iexamined，too，inthought，thepossibilityofmyeverbeingabletotranslatecurrentlyacertainlittleFrenchstorywhichMadamePierrothadthatdayshownme;norwasthatproblemsolvedtomysatisfactionereIfellsweetlyasleep。

WellhasSolomonsaid—“Betterisadinnerofherbswhereloveis，thanastalledoxandhatredtherewith。”

IwouldnotnowhaveexchangedLowoodwithallitsprivationsforGatesheadanditsdailyluxuries。

Chapter9

Buttheprivations，orratherthehardships，ofLowoodlessened。Springdrewon:shewasindeedalreadycome;thefrostsofwinterhadceased;itssnowsweremelted，itscuttingwindsameliorated。Mywretchedfeet，flayedandswollentolamenessbythesharpairofJanuary，begantohealandsubsideunderthegentlerbreathingsofApril;thenightsandmorningsnolongerbytheirCanadiantemperaturefrozetheverybloodinourveins;wecouldnowenduretheplay—hourpassedinthegarden:sometimesonasunnydayitbeganeventobepleasantandgenial，andagreennessgrewoverthosebrownbeds，which，fresheningdaily，suggestedthethoughtthatHopetraversedthematnight，andlefteachmorningbrightertracesofhersteps。Flowerspeepedoutamongsttheleaves;snow—drops，crocuses，purpleauriculas，andgolden—eyedpansies。OnThursdayafternoons（half—holidays）wenowtookwalks，andfoundstillsweeterflowersopeningbythewayside，underthehedges。

Idiscovered，too，thatagreatpleasure，anenjoymentwhichthehorizononlybounded，layalloutsidethehighandspike—guardedwallsofourgarden:thispleasureconsistedinprospectofnoblesummitsgirdlingagreathill—hollow，richinverdureandshadow;inabrightbeck，fullofdarkstonesandsparklingeddies。HowdifferenthadthisscenelookedwhenIvieweditlaidoutbeneaththeironskyofwinter，stiffenedinfrost，shroudedwithsnow！—whenmistsaschillasdeathwanderedtotheimpulseofeastwindsalongthosepurplepeaks，androlleddown“ing”andholmtilltheyblendedwiththefrozenfogofthebeck！Thatbeckitselfwasthenatorrent，turbidandcurbless:ittoreasunderthewood，andsentaravingsoundthroughtheair，oftenthickenedwithwildrainorwhirlingsleet;andfortheforestonitsbanks，thatshowedonlyranksofskeletons。

ApriladvancedtoMay:abrightsereneMayitwas;daysofbluesky，placidsunshine，andsoftwesternorsoutherngalesfilledupitsduration。Andnowvegetationmaturedwithvigour;Lowoodshooklooseitstresses;itbecameallgreen，allflowery;itsgreatelm，ash，andoakskeletonswererestoredtomajesticlife;woodlandplantssprangupprofuselyinitsrecesses;unnumberedvarietiesofmossfilleditshollows，anditmadeastrangeground—sunshineoutofthewealthofitswildprimroseplants:Ihaveseentheirpalegoldgleaminovershadowedspotslikescatteringsofthesweetestlustre。AllthisIenjoyedoftenandfully，free，unwatched，andalmostalone:forthisunwontedlibertyandpleasuretherewasacause，towhichitnowbecomesmytasktoadvert。

HaveInotdescribedapleasantsiteforadwelling，whenIspeakofitasbosomedinhillandwood，andrisingfromthevergeofastream？Assuredly，pleasantenough:butwhetherhealthyornotisanotherquestion。

Thatforest—dell，whereLowoodlay，wasthecradleoffogandfog—bredpestilence;which，quickeningwiththequickeningspring，creptintotheOrphanAsylum，breathedtyphusthroughitscrowdedschoolroomanddormitory，and，ereMayarrived，transformedtheseminaryintoanhospital。

Semi—starvationandneglectedcoldshadpredisposedmostofthepupilstoreceiveinfection:forty—fiveoutoftheeightygirlslayillatonetime。Classeswerebrokenup，rulesrelaxed。Thefewwhocontinuedwellwereallowedalmostunlimitedlicense;becausethemedicalattendantinsistedonthenecessityoffrequentexercisetokeeptheminhealth:andhaditbeenotherwise，noonehadleisuretowatchorrestrainthem。MissTemple’swholeattentionwasabsorbedbythepatients:shelivedinthesick—room，neverquittingitexcepttosnatchafewhours’restatnight。Theteacherswerefullyoccupiedwithpackingupandmakingothernecessarypreparationsforthedepartureofthosegirlswhowerefortunateenoughtohavefriendsandrelationsableandwillingtoremovethemfromtheseatofcontagion。Many，alreadysmitten，wenthomeonlytodie:somediedattheschool，andwereburiedquietlyandquickly，thenatureofthemaladyforbiddingdelay。

WhilediseasehadthusbecomeaninhabitantofLowood，anddeathitsfrequentvisitor;whiletherewasgloomandfearwithinitswalls;whileitsroomsandpassagessteamedwithhospitalsmells，thedrugandthepastillestrivingvainlytoovercometheeffluviaofmortality，thatbrightMayshoneuncloudedovertheboldhillsandbeautifulwoodlandoutofdoors。Itsgarden，too，glowedwithflowers:hollyhockshadsprunguptallastrees，lilieshadopened，tulipsandroseswereinbloom;thebordersofthelittlebedsweregaywithpinkthriftandcrimsondoubledaisies;thesweetbriarsgaveout，morningandevening，theirscentofspiceandapples;andthesefragranttreasureswerealluselessformostoftheinmatesofLowood，excepttofurnishnowandthenahandfulofherbsandblossomstoputinacoffin。

ButI，andtherestwhocontinuedwell，enjoyedfullythebeautiesofthesceneandseason;theyletusrambleinthewood，likegipsies，frommorningtillnight;wedidwhatweliked，wentwhereweliked:welivedbettertoo。Mr。BrocklehurstandhisfamilynevercamenearLowoodnow:householdmatterswerenotscrutinisedinto;thecrosshousekeeperwasgone，drivenawaybythefearofinfection;hersuccessor，whohadbeenmatronattheLowtonDispensary，unusedtothewaysofhernewabode，providedwithcomparativeliberality。Besides，therewerefewertofeed;thesickcouldeatlittle;ourbreakfast—basinswerebetterfilled;whentherewasnotimetopreparearegulardinner，whichoftenhappened，shewouldgiveusalargepieceofcoldpie，orathicksliceofbreadandcheese，andthiswecarriedawaywithustothewood，whereweeachchosethespotwelikedbest，anddinedsumptuously。

Myfavouriteseatwasasmoothandbroadstone，risingwhiteanddryfromtheverymiddleofthebeck，andonlytobegotatbywadingthroughthewater;afeatIaccomplishedbarefoot。Thestonewasjustbroadenoughtoaccommodate，comfortably，anothergirlandme，atthattimemychosencomrade—oneMaryAnnWilson;ashrewd，observantpersonage，whosesocietyItookpleasurein，partlybecauseshewaswittyandoriginal，andpartlybecauseshehadamannerwhichsetmeatmyease。SomeyearsolderthanI，sheknewmoreoftheworld，andcouldtellmemanythingsIlikedtohear:withhermycuriosityfoundgratification:tomyfaultsalsoshegaveampleindulgence，neverimposingcurborreinonanythingIsaid。Shehadaturnfornarrative，Iforanalysis;shelikedtoinform，Itoquestion;sowegotonswimminglytogether，derivingmuchentertainment，ifnotmuchimprovement，fromourmutualintercourse。

Andwhere，meantime，wasHelenBurns？WhydidInotspendthesesweetdaysoflibertywithher？HadIforgottenher？orwasIsoworthlessastohavegrowntiredofherparesociety？SurelytheMaryArmWilsonIhavementionedwasinferiortomyfirstacquaintance:shecouldonlytellmeamusingstories，andreciprocateanyracyandpungentgossipIchosetoindulgein;while，ifIhavespokentruthofHelen，shewasqualifiedtogivethosewhoenjoyedtheprivilegeofherconverseatasteoffarhigherthings。

True，reader;andIknewandfeltthis:andthoughIamadefectivebeing，withmanyfaultsandfewredeemingpoints，yetInevertiredofHelenBurns;noreverceasedtocherishforherasentimentofattachment，asstrong，tender，andrespectfulasanythateveranimatedmyheart。Howcoulditbeotherwise，whenHelen，atalltimesandunderallcircumstances，evincedformeaquietandfaithfulfriendship，whichill—humourneversoured，norirritationnevertroubled？ButHelenwasillatpresent:forsomeweeksshehadbeenremovedfrommysighttoIknewnotwhatroomupstairs。Shewasnot，Iwastold，inthehospitalportionofthehousewiththefeverpatients;forhercomplaintwasconsumption，nottyphus:andbyconsumptionI，inmyignorance，understoodsomethingmild，whichtimeandcarewouldbesuretoalleviate。

Iwasconfirmedinthisideabythefactofheronceortwicecomingdownstairsonverywarmsunnyafternoons，andbeingtakenbyMissTempleintothegarden;but，ontheseoccasions，Iwasnotallowedtogoandspeaktoher;Ionlysawherfromtheschoolroomwindow，andthennotdistinctly;forshewasmuchwrappedup，andsatatadistanceundertheverandah。

Oneevening，inthebeginningofJune，IhadstayedoutverylatewithMaryAnninthewood;wehad，asusual，separatedourselvesfromtheothers，andhadwanderedfar;sofarthatwelostourway，andhadtoaskitatalonelycottage，whereamanandwomanlived，wholookedafteraherdofhalf—wildswinethatfedonthemastinthewood。Whenwegotback，itwasaftermoonrise:apony，whichweknewtobethesurgeon’s，wasstandingatthegardendoor。MaryAnnremarkedthatshesupposedsomeonemustbeveryill，asMr。Bateshadbeensentforatthattimeoftheevening。Shewentintothehouse;IstayedbehindafewminutestoplantinmygardenahandfulofrootsIhaddugupintheforest，andwhichIfearedwouldwitherifIleftthemtillthemorning。Thisdone，Ilingeredyetalittlelonger:theflowerssmeltsosweetasthedewfell;itwassuchapleasantevening，soserene，sowarm;thestillglowingwestpromisedsofairlyanotherfinedayonthemorrow;themoonrosewithsuchmajestyinthegraveeast。Iwasnotingthesethingsandenjoyingthemasachildmight，whenitenteredmymindasithadneverdonebefore:—

“Howsadtobelyingnowonasickbed，andtobeindangerofdying！Thisworldispleasant—itwouldbedrearytobecalledfromit，andtohavetogowhoknowswhere？”

Andthenmymindmadeitsfirstearnestefforttocomprehendwhathadbeeninfusedintoitconcerningheavenandhell;andforthefirsttimeitrecoiled，baffled;andforthefirsttimeglancingbehind，oneachside，andbeforeit，itsawallroundanunfathomedgulf:itfelttheonepointwhereitstood—thepresent;alltherestwasformlesscloudandvacantdepth;anditshudderedatthethoughtoftottering，andplungingamidthatchaos。Whileponderingthisnewidea，Iheardthefrontdooropen;Mr。Batescameout，andwithhimwasanurse。Aftershehadseenhimmounthishorseanddepart，shewasabouttoclosethedoor，butIranuptoher。

“HowisHelenBurns？”

“Verypoorly，”wastheanswer。

“IsitherMr。Bateshasbeentosee？”

“Yes。”

“Andwhatdoeshesayabouther？”

“Hesaysshe’llnotbeherelong。”

Thisphrase，utteredinmyhearingyesterday，wouldhaveonlyconveyedthenotionthatshewasabouttoberemovedtoNorthumberland，toherownhome。Ishouldnothavesuspectedthatitmeantshewasdying;butIknewinstantlynow！ItopenedclearonmycomprehensionthatHelenBurnswasnumberingherlastdaysinthisworld，andthatshewasgoingtobetakentotheregionofspirits，ifsuchregiontherewere。Iexperiencedashockofhorror，thenastrongthrillofgrief，thenadesire—anecessitytoseeher;andIaskedinwhatroomshelay。

“SheisinMissTemple’sroom，”saidthenurse。

“MayIgoupandspeaktoher？”

“Ohno，child！Itisnotlikely;andnowitistimeforyoutocomein;you’llcatchthefeverifyoustopoutwhenthedewisfalling。”

Thenurseclosedthefrontdoor;Iwentinbythesideentrancewhichledtotheschoolroom:Iwasjustintime;itwasnineo’clock，andMissMillerwascallingthepupilstogotobed。

Itmightbetwohourslater，probablyneareleven，whenI—nothavingbeenabletofallasleep，anddeeming，fromtheperfectsilenceofthedormitory，thatmycompanionswereallwraptinprofoundrepose—rosesoftly，putonmyfrockovermynight—dress，and，withoutshoes，creptfromtheapartment，andsetoffinquestofMissTemple’sroom。Itwasquiteattheotherendofthehouse;butIknewmyway;andthelightoftheuncloudedsummermoon，enteringhereandthereatpassagewindows，enabledmetofinditwithoutdifficulty。AnodourofcamphorandburntvinegarwarnedmewhenIcamenearthefeverroom:andIpasseditsdoorquickly，fearfullestthenursewhosatupallnightshouldhearme。Idreadedbeingdiscoveredandsentback;forImustseeHelen，—Imustembraceherbeforeshedied，—Imustgiveheronelastkiss，exchangewithheronelastword。

Havingdescendedastaircase，traversedaportionofthehousebelow，andsucceededinopeningandshutting，withoutnoise，twodoors，Ireachedanotherflightofsteps;theseImounted，andthenjustoppositetomewasMissTemple’sroom。Alightshonethroughthekeyholeandfromunderthedoor;aprofoundstillnesspervadedthevicinity。Comingnear，Ifoundthedoorslightlyajar;probablytoadmitsomefreshairintothecloseabodeofsickness。Indisposedtohesitate，andfullofimpatientimpulses—soulandsensesquiveringwithkeenthroes—Iputitbackandlookedin。MyeyesoughtHelen，andfearedtofinddeath。

ClosebyMissTemple’sbed，andhalfcoveredwithitswhitecurtains，therestoodalittlecrib。Isawtheoutlineofaformundertheclothes，butthefacewashidbythehangings:thenurseIhadspokentointhegardensatinaneasy—chairasleep;anunsnuffedcandleburntdimlyonthetable。MissTemplewasnottobeseen:Iknewafterwardsthatshehadbeencalledtoadeliriouspatientinthefever—room。Iadvanced;thenpausedbythecribside:myhandwasonthecurtain，butIpreferredspeakingbeforeIwithdrewit。Istillrecoiledatthedreadofseeingacorpse。

“Helen！”Iwhisperedsoftly，“areyouawake？”

Shestirredherself，putbackthecurtain，andIsawherface，pale，wasted，butquitecomposed:shelookedsolittlechangedthatmyfearwasinstantlydissipated。

“Canitbeyou，Jane？”sheasked，inherowngentlevoice。

“Oh！”Ithought，“sheisnotgoingtodie;theyaremistaken:shecouldnotspeakandlooksocalmlyifshewere。”

Igotontohercribandkissedher:herforeheadwascold，andhercheekbothcoldandthin，andsowereherhandandwrist;butshesmiledasofold。

“Whyareyoucomehere，Jane？Itispasteleveno’clock:Ihearditstrikesomeminutessince。”

“Icametoseeyou，Helen:Iheardyouwereveryill，andIcouldnotsleeptillIhadspokentoyou。”

“Youcametobidmegood—bye，then:youarejustintimeprobably。”

“Areyougoingsomewhere，Helen？Areyougoinghome？”

“Yes;tomylonghome—mylasthome。”

“No，no，Helen！”Istopped，distressed。WhileItriedtodevourmytears，afitofcoughingseizedHelen;itdidnot，however，wakethenurse;whenitwasover，shelaysomeminutesexhausted;thenshewhispered—

“Jane，yourlittlefeetarebare;liedownandcoveryourselfwithmyquilt。”

Ididso:sheputherarmoverme，andInestledclosetoher。Afteralongsilence，sheresumed，stillwhispering—

“Iamveryhappy，Jane;andwhenyouhearthatIamdead，youmustbesureandnotgrieve:thereisnothingtogrieveabout。Weallmustdieoneday，andtheillnesswhichisremovingmeisnotpainful;itisgentleandgradual:mymindisatrest。Ileavenoonetoregretmemuch:Ihaveonlyafather;andheislatelymarried，andwillnotmissme。Bydyingyoung，Ishallescapegreatsufferings。Ihadnotqualitiesortalentstomakemywayverywellintheworld:Ishouldhavebeencontinuallyatfault。”

“Butwhereareyougoingto，Helen？Canyousee？Doyouknow？”

“Ibelieve;Ihavefaith:IamgoingtoGod。”

“WhereisGod？WhatisGod？”

“MyMakerandyours，whowillneverdestroywhatHecreated。IrelyimplicitlyonHispower，andconfidewhollyinHisgoodness:IcountthehourstillthateventfulonearriveswhichshallrestoremetoHim，revealHimtome。”

“Youaresure，then，Helen，thatthereissuchaplaceasheaven，andthatoursoulscangettoitwhenwedie？”

“Iamsurethereisafuturestate;IbelieveGodisgood;IcanresignmyimmortalparttoHimwithoutanymisgiving。Godismyfather;Godismyfriend:IloveHim;IbelieveHelovesme。”

“AndshallIseeyouagain，Helen，whenIdie？”

“Youwillcometothesameregionofhappiness:bereceivedbythesamemighty，universalParent，nodoubt，dearJane。”

AgainIquestioned，butthistimeonlyinthought。“Whereisthatregion？Doesitexist？”AndIclaspedmyarmscloserroundHelen;sheseemeddearertomethanever;IfeltasifIcouldnotlethergo;Ilaywithmyfacehiddenonherneck。Presentlyshesaid，inthesweetesttone—

“HowcomfortableIam！Thatlastfitofcoughinghastiredmealittle;IfeelasifIcouldsleep:butdon’tleaveme，Jane;Iliketohaveyounearme。”

“I’llstaywithyou，dearHelen:nooneshalltakemeway。”

“Areyouwarm，darling？”

“Yes。”

“Good—night，Jane。”

“Good—night，Helen。”

Shekissedme，andIher，andwebothsoonslumbered。

WhenIawokeitwasday:anunusualmovementrousedme;Ilookedup;Iwasinsomebody’sarms;thenurseheldme;shewascarryingmethroughthepassagebacktothedormitory。Iwasnotreprimandedforleavingmybed;peoplehadsomethingelsetothinkabout;noexplanationwasaffordedthentomymanyquestions;butadayortwoafterwardsIlearnedthatMissTemple，onreturningtoherownroomatdawn，hadfoundmelaidinthelittlecrib;myfaceagainstHelenBurns’sshoulder，myarmsroundherneck。Iwasasleep，andHelenwas—dead。

HergraveisinBrocklebridgechurchyard:forfifteenyearsafterherdeathitwasonlycoveredbyagrassymound;butnowagreymarbletabletmarksthespot，inscribedwithhername，andtheword“Resurgam。”

Chapter10

HithertoIhaverecordedindetailtheeventsofmyinsignificantexistence:tothefirsttenyearsofmylifeIhavegivenalmostasmanychapters。Butthisisnottobearegularautobiography。IamonlyboundtoinvokeMemorywhereIknowherresponseswillpossesssomedegreeofinterest;thereforeInowpassaspaceofeightyearsalmostinsilence:afewlinesonlyarenecessarytokeepupthelinksofconnection。

WhenthetyphusfeverhadfulfilleditsmissionofdevastationatLowood，itgraduallydisappearedfromthence;butnottillitsvirulenceandthenumberofitsvictimshaddrawnpublicattentionontheschool。Inquirywasmadeintotheoriginofthescourge，andbydegreesvariousfactscameoutwhichexcitedpublicindignationinahighdegree。Theunhealthynatureofthesite;thequantityandqualityofthechildren’sfood;thebrackish，fetidwaterusedinitspreparation;thepupils’wretchedclothingandaccommodations—allthesethingswerediscovered，andthediscoveryproducedaresultmortifyingtoMr。Brocklehurst，butbeneficialtotheinstitution。

Severalwealthyandbenevolentindividualsinthecountysubscribedlargelyfortheerectionofamoreconvenientbuildinginabettersituation;newregulationsweremade;improvementsindietandclothingintroduced;thefundsoftheschoolwereintrustedtothemanagementofacommittee。Mr。Brocklehurst，who，fromhiswealthandfamilyconnections，couldnotbeoverlooked，stillretainedthepostoftreasurer;buthewasaidedinthedischargeofhisdutiesbygentlemenofrathermoreenlargedandsympathisingminds:hisofficeofinspector，too，wassharedbythosewhoknewhowtocombinereasonwithstrictness，comfortwitheconomy，compassionwithuprightness。Theschool，thusimproved，becameintimeatrulyusefulandnobleinstitution。Iremainedaninmateofitswalls，afteritsregeneration，foreightyears:sixaspupil，andtwoasteacher;andinbothcapacitiesIbearmytestimonytoitsvalueandimportance。

Duringtheseeightyearsmylifewasuniform:butnotunhappy，becauseitwasnotinactive。Ihadthemeansofanexcellenteducationplacedwithinmyreach;afondnessforsomeofmystudies，andadesiretoexcelinall，togetherwithagreatdelightinpleasingmyteachers，especiallysuchasIloved，urgedmeon:Iavailedmyselffullyoftheadvantagesofferedme。IntimeIrosetobethefirstgirlofthefirstclass;thenIwasinvestedwiththeofficeofteacher;whichIdischargedwithzealfortwoyears:butattheendofthattimeIaltered。