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我出生在弗吉尼亚州富兰克林县的一个种植园里，是一名奴隶。我并不确定自己出生的确切地点和日期，但无论如何，我想我必定是在某个地方和某个时间出生的。据我所能了解到的情况，我出生在一个名叫黑尔渡口的十字路口邮局附近，那一年是1858年或者1859年。我不知道具体是哪个月份或哪一天。我现在能回忆起的最早的印象就是那个种植园以及奴隶区——后者是种植园中奴隶们住的小屋所在的地方。Mylifehaditsbeginninginthemidstofthemostmiserable,desolate,anddiscouragingsurroundings.Thiswasso,however,notbecausemyownerswereespeciallycruel,fortheywerenot,ascomparedwithmanyothers.Iwasborninatypicallogcabin,aboutfourteenbysixteenfeetsquare.InthiscabinIlivedwithmymotherandabrotherandsistertillaftertheCivilWar,whenwewerealldeclaredfree.我的生活是在最凄惨、荒凉和令人沮丧的环境中开始的。然而，这并不是因为我的主人特别残忍，与其他许多人相比，他们并不算残酷。我出生在一个典型的木屋中，大约十四英尺乘以十六英尺见方。在这间小屋里，我和母亲以及一个哥哥和一个姐姐一起生活，直到美国内战结束后我们都被宣布为自由人。OfmyancestryIknowalmostnothing.Intheslavequarters,andevenlater,Iheardwhisperedconversationsamongthecolouredpeopleofthetortureswhichtheslaves,including,nodoubt,myancestorsonmymother'sside,sufferedinthemiddlepassageoftheslaveshipwhilebeingconveyedfromAfricatoAmerica.Ihavebeenunsuccessfulinsecuringanyinformationthatwouldthrowanyaccuratelightuponthehistoryofmyfamilybeyondmymother.She,Iremember,hadahalf-brotherandahalf-sister.Inthedaysofslaverynotverymuchattentionwasgiventofamilyhistoryandfamilyrecords—thatis,blackfamilyrecords.Mymother,Isuppose,attractedtheattentionofapurchaserwhowasafterwardmyownerandhers.Heradditiontotheslavefamilyattractedaboutasmuchattentionasthepurchaseofanewhorseorcow.OfmyfatherIknowevenlessthanofmymother.Idonotevenknowhisname.Ihaveheardreportstotheeffectthathewasawhitemanwholivedononeofthenear-byplantations.Whoeverhewas,Ineverheardofhistakingtheleastinterestinmeorprovidinginanywayformyrearing.ButIdonotfindespecialfaultwithhim.HewassimplyanotherunfortunatevictimoftheinstitutionwhichtheNationunhappilyhadengrafteduponitatthattime.关于我的祖先，我几乎一无所知。在奴隶区，甚至后来，在有色人种之间，我听到窃窃私语，关于奴隶们在从非洲运往美洲的奴隶船“中间航程”中遭受的酷刑，毫无疑问，我的祖先，尤其是我母亲那边的，也遭受到了这些折磨。我未能获得任何信息，能够准确地照亮我家族的历史，超越了我的母亲这一代。我记得，她有一个同母异父的哥哥和一个同母异父的姐姐。在奴隶制时代，人们对家族历史和家族记录的关注很少——也就是说，对黑人家庭的记录关注很少。我想，我的母亲吸引了某个购买者的注意，他后来成为了我和她的主人。她加入奴隶家庭所受到的关注，大概和买一匹新马或一头新牛差不多。至于我的父亲，我对他的了解甚至比对母亲的还少。我甚至不知道他的名字。我听说有传闻说他是一个白人，住在附近的一个种植园里。不管他是谁，我从未听说过他对我的兴趣，也没有听说过他在任何方面为我的抚养提供帮助。但我并不特别责怪他。他只是那个不幸时期国家不幸引入的制度下的另一个不幸受害者。Thecabinwasnotonlyourliving-place,butwasalsousedasthekitchenfortheplantation.Mymotherwastheplantationcook.Thecabinwaswithoutglasswindows;ithadonlyopeningsinthesidewhichletinthelight,andalsothecold,chillyairofwinter.Therewasadoortothecabin—thatis,somethingthatwascalledadoor—buttheuncertainhingesbywhichitwashung,andthelargecracksinit,tosaynothingofthefactthatitwastoosmall,madetheroomaveryuncomfortableone.Inadditiontotheseopeningstherewas,inthelowerright-handcorneroftheroom,the"cat-hole,"—acontrivancewhichalmosteverymansionorcabininVirginiapossessedduringtheante-bellumperiod.The"cat-hole"wasasquareopening,aboutsevenbyeightinches,providedforthepurposeoflettingthecatpassinandoutofthehouseatwillduringthenight.InthecaseofourparticularcabinIcouldneverunderstandthenecessityforthisconvenience,sincetherewereatleastahalf-dozenotherplacesinthecabinthatwouldhaveaccommodatedthecats.Therewasnowoodenfloorinourcabin,thenakedearthbeingusedasafloor.Inthecentreoftheearthenfloortherewasalarge,deepopeningcoveredwithboards,whichwasusedasaplaceinwhichtostoresweetpotatoesduringthewinter.Animpressionofthispotato-holeisverydistinctlyengraveduponmymemory,becauseIrecallthatduringtheprocessofputtingthepotatoesinortakingthemoutIwouldoftencomeintopossessionofoneortwo,whichIroastedandthoroughlyenjoyed.Therewasnocooking-stoveonourplantation,andallthecookingforthewhitesandslavesmymotherhadtodooveranopenfireplace,mostlyinpotsand"skillets."Whilethepoorlybuiltcabincausedustosufferwithcoldinthewinter,theheatfromtheopenfireplaceinsummerwasequallytrying.这间小屋不仅是我们的居住地，还被用作种植园的厨房。我的母亲是种植园的厨师。小屋里没有玻璃窗户；它只有侧壁上的开口，这些开口既能透进光线，也能让冬天寒冷刺骨的空气进入。小屋有一扇门——或者说，被称作门的东西——但由于门铰链不够牢固，门板上还有大裂缝，更不用说门太小了，这让房间变得非常不舒服。除了这些开口外，在房间右下角还有一个“猫洞”——这是弗吉尼亚州前内战时期几乎所有豪宅或小屋都有的装置。这个“猫洞”是一个大约七英寸乘八英寸的方形开口，目的是为了让猫在夜间随意进出房子。就我们这间小屋而言，我始终无法理解这种便利的必要性，因为在小屋至少有六个其他地方可以容纳猫。我们的小屋没有木质地板，而是使用裸露的泥土作为地面。在泥土地板的中央有一个又大又深的开口，上面盖着木板，用来在冬季储存甜土豆。我对这个土豆洞的印象非常深刻，因为我记得在放土豆进去或者拿出来的时候，我经常能得到一两个土豆，我会烤熟它们并尽情享用。我们种植园里没有炉灶，母亲必须在敞开的壁炉上为白人和奴隶做饭，大部分是用锅和“平底锅”。虽然简陋的小屋让我们在冬天受冻，但夏季从敞开的壁炉散发出的热量同样令人难以忍受。Theearlyyearsofmylife,whichwerespentinthelittlecabin,werenotverydifferentfromthoseofthousandsofotherslaves.Mymother,ofcourse,hadlittletimeinwhichtogiveattentiontothetrainingofherchildrenduringtheday.Shesnatchedafewmomentsforourcareintheearlymorningbeforeherworkbegan,andatnightaftertheday'sworkwasdone.Oneofmyearliestrecollectionsisthatofmymothercookingachickenlateatnight,andawakeningherchildrenforthepurposeoffeedingthem.HoworwhereshegotitIdonotknow.Ipresume,however,itwasprocuredfromourowner'sfarm.Somepeoplemaycallthistheft.Ifsuchathingweretohappennow,Ishouldcondemnitastheftmyself.Buttakingplaceatthetimeitdid,andforthereasonthatitdid,noonecouldevermakemebelievethatmymotherwasguiltyofthieving.Shewassimplyavictimofthesystemofslavery.IcannotrememberhavingsleptinabeduntilafterourfamilywasdeclaredfreebytheEmancipationProclamation.Threechildren—John,myolderbrother,Amanda,mysister,andmyself—hadapalletonthedirtfloor,or,tobemorecorrect,wesleptinandonabundleoffilthyragslaiduponthedirtfloor.我生命最初的几年是在小木屋里度过的，那与成千上万名其他奴隶的生活并无太大不同。当然，我的母亲在白天几乎没有时间来关注我们孩子的教育和训练。她会在工作开始前的清晨抽出几分钟照顾我们，晚上工作结束后也会再照看一下。我最早的记忆之一就是母亲深夜烹饪鸡肉，并唤醒她的孩子们喂食我们。我不知道她是如何或从哪里弄到这只鸡的。不过，我推测它可能是从我们的主人农场得来的。有些人可能会称之为偷窃。如果这样的事情发生在现在，我自己也会谴责它为偷窃。但是，考虑到发生的时间以及原因，没有人能够让我相信我的母亲有偷窃的行为。她只是奴隶制下的一个受害者。直到我们的家庭根据《解放宣言》被宣布自由后，我才能回忆起睡过床。我和我的两个孩子——哥哥约翰、姐姐阿曼达以及我自己——在泥土地板上铺着一捆肮脏的破布睡觉。IwasaskednotlongagototellsomethingaboutthesportsandpastimesthatIengagedinduringmyyouth.Untilthatquestionwasaskedithadneveroccurredtomethattherewasnoperiodofmylifethatwasdevotedtoplay.FromthetimethatIcanrememberanything,almosteverydayofmylifehadbeenoccupiedinsomekindoflabour;thoughIthinkIwouldnowbeamoreusefulmanifIhadhadtimeforsports.DuringtheperiodthatIspentinslaveryIwasnotlargeenoughtobeofmuchservice,stillIwasoccupiedmostofthetimeincleaningtheyards,carryingwatertothemeninthefields,orgoingtothemilltowhichIusedtotakethecorn,onceaweek,tobeground.Themillwasaboutthreemilesfromtheplantation.ThisworkIalwaysdreaded.Theheavybagofcornwouldbethrownacrossthebackofthehorse,andthecorndividedaboutevenlyoneachside;butinsomeway,almostwithoutexception,onthesetrips,thecornwouldsoshiftastobecomeunbalancedandwouldfalloffthehorse,andoftenIwouldfallwithit.AsIwasnotstrongenoughtoreloadthecornuponthehorse,Iwouldhavetowait,sometimesformanyhours,tillachancepasser-bycamealongwhowouldhelpmeoutofmytrouble.Thehourswhilewaitingforsomeonewereusuallyspentincrying.Thetimeconsumedinthiswaymademelateinreachingthemill,andbythetimeIgotmycorngroundandreachedhomeitwouldbefarintothenight.Theroadwasalonelyone,andoftenledthroughdenseforests.Iwasalwaysfrightened.Thewoodsweresaidtobefullofsoldierswhohaddesertedfromthearmy,andIhadbeentoldthatthefirstthingadeserterdidtoaNegroboywhenhefoundhimalonewastocutoffhisears.Besides,whenIwaslateingettinghomeIknewIwouldalwaysgetaseverescoldingoraflogging.不久前有人问我讲一讲我在年轻时从事过的运动和娱乐活动。直到这个问题被提出，我才意识到我的生活中没有哪个时期是专门用来玩耍的。从我能记得事情的时候起，几乎每一天的生活都被某种劳动所占据；不过我认为，如果我有时间进行运动的话，我现在可能会更有用一些。在我当奴隶的那段日子里，我年纪还不够大，无法承担太多工作，但我大部分时间都在打扫院子、给田间劳作的人送水，或者每周一次把玉米送到大约三英里外的磨坊去碾磨。这段路程我总是很害怕。沉重的玉米袋会被放在马背上，两边大致均匀地分配着玉米；但是几乎每次，在这些旅途中，玉米都会以某种方式发生偏移，变得不平衡，然后从马身上掉下来，而我常常也会跟着一起摔倒。由于我力气不够大，无法将玉米重新装回马背上，所以很多时候我不得不等待几个小时，直到有路过的好心人帮我摆脱困境。等待期间的大多数时间我都在哭泣。这样浪费的时间让我到达磨坊的时间变晚了，等我磨完玉米回到家时，往往已经是深夜了。这条路非常孤寂，而且常常穿过茂密的森林。我总是感到害怕。据说树林里满是逃离军队的士兵，我也曾被告知，一旦一个逃兵单独找到一个黑人男孩，他做的第一件事就是割下这个男孩的耳朵。此外，当我回家太晚时，我知道自己总会遭到严厉的责骂甚至鞭打。IhadnoschoolingwhateverwhileIwasaslave,thoughIrememberonseveraloccasionsIwentasfarastheschoolhousedoorwithoneofmyyoungmistressestocarryherbooks.Thepictureofseveraldozenboysandgirlsinaschoolroomengagedinstudymadeadeepimpressionuponme,andIhadthefeelingthattogetintoaschoolhouseandstudyinthiswaywouldbeaboutthesameasgettingintoparadise.我做奴隶的时候完全没有上过学，不过我记得有几次我陪着一位小女主人走到学校门口，给她拿着书本。几十个男孩和女孩坐在教室里学习的场景给我留下了深刻的印象，我觉得能走进教室以这种方式学习，就跟进入天堂差不多。SofarasIcannowrecall,thefirstknowledgethatIgotofthefactthatwewereslaves,andthatfreedomoftheslaveswasbeingdiscussed,wasearlyonemorningbeforeday,whenIwasawakenedbymymotherkneelingoverherchildrenandferventlyprayingthatLincolnandhisarmiesmightbesuccessful,andthatonedaysheandherchildrenmightbefree.InthisconnectionIhaveneverbeenabletounderstandhowtheslavesthroughouttheSouth,completelyignorantaswerethemassessofarasbooksornewspaperswereconcerned,wereabletokeepthemselvessoaccuratelyandcompletelyinformedaboutthegreatNationalquestionsthatwereagitatingthecountry.FromthetimethatGarrison,Lovejoy,andothersbegantoagitateforfreedom,theslavesthroughouttheSouthkeptinclosetouchwiththeprogressofthemovement.ThoughIwasamerechildduringthepreparationfortheCivilWarandduringthewaritself,Inowrecallthemanylate-at-nightwhispereddiscussionsthatIheardmymotherandtheotherslavesontheplantationindulgein.Thesediscussionsshowedthattheyunderstoodthesituation,andthattheykeptthemselvesinformedofeventsbywhatwastermedthe"grape-vine"telegraph.据我所能回忆起来的，我最早得知我们是奴隶，并且有人在讨论奴隶解放的事情，是在一个清晨，天还没亮的时候。我被母亲跪在孩子们身边虔诚祈祷的声音唤醒了，她祈求林肯和他的军队能够取得成功，希望有一天她和她的孩子们能获得自由。在这个问题上，我一直无法理解，那些完全不识字、也接触不到书报的南方奴隶们，是如何如此准确且全面地了解国家正在争论的重大问题的。从加里森、洛夫乔伊等人开始鼓吹解放运动时起，南方的奴隶们就一直密切关注着这一运动的进展。虽然我在内战准备阶段以及战争期间都只是个孩子，但我现在回想起来，听到了许多深夜里母亲和其他种植园里的奴隶低声讨论的情景。这些讨论表明他们理解局势，并且通过所谓的“葡萄藤”电报系统来获取信息。DuringthecampaignwhenLincolnwasfirstacandidateforthePresidency,theslavesonourfar-offplantation,milesfromanyrailroadorlargecityordailynewspaper,knewwhattheissuesinvolvedwere.WhenwarwasbegunbetweentheNorthandtheSouth,everyslaveonourplantationfeltandknewthat,thoughotherissueswerediscussed,theprimalonewasthatofslavery.Eventhemostignorantmembersofmyraceontheremoteplantationsfeltintheirhearts,withacertaintythatadmittedofnodoubt,thatthefreedomoftheslaveswouldbetheonegreatresultofthewar,iftheNorthernarmiesconquered.EverysuccessoftheFederalarmiesandeverydefeatoftheConfederateforceswaswatchedwiththekeenestandmostintenseinterest.Oftentheslavesgotknowledgeoftheresultsofgreatbattlesbeforethewhitepeoplereceivedit.Thisnewswasusuallygottenfromthecolouredmanwhowassenttothepost-officeforthemail.Inourcasethepost-officewasaboutthreemilesfromtheplantation,andthemailcameonceortwiceaweek.Themanwhowassenttotheofficewouldlingerabouttheplacelongenoughtogetthedriftoftheconversationfromthegroupofwhitepeoplewhonaturallycongregatedthere,afterreceivingtheirmail,todiscussthelatestnews.Themail-carrieronhiswaybacktoourmaster'shousewouldasnaturallyretailthenewsthathehadsecuredamongtheslaves,andinthiswaytheyoftenheardofimportanteventsbeforethewhitepeopleatthe"bighouse,"asthemaster'shousewascalled.在林肯首次竞选总统的活动中，远在我们那偏僻种植园里的奴隶们，尽管距离铁路和大城市数英里之遥，也没有每天的报纸，却知道所涉及的问题是什么。当北方和南方之间爆发战争时，我们种植园里的每一个奴隶都感觉到并知道，虽然讨论了其他问题，但最基本的问题是奴隶制问题。即使是我种族中最无知的成员，在遥远的种植园里，也深信不疑地感到，如果联邦军队获胜，奴隶们的自由将是战争的最大成果。每一次联邦军队的成功和每一次南军的失败都被以最敏锐和最强烈的兴趣关注着。常常在白人收到消息之前，奴隶们就已经得知了重大战役的结果。这些消息通常是由被派去邮局取邮件的黑人获得的。在我们的案例中，邮局距离种植园大约三英里，邮件每周来一到两次。被派去邮局的人会在那里逗留足够长的时间，从收到邮件后自然聚集在那里讨论最新消息的白人群体中获取谈话的大致内容。而这位送信人在回主人家的路上，也会自然地在奴隶中间传播他所获取的消息，因此他们经常比“大房子”（即主人的房子）里的白人更早听到重要事件。Icannotrememberasingleinstanceduringmychildhoodorearlyboyhoodwhenourentirefamilysatdowntothetabletogether,andGod'sblessingwasasked,andthefamilyateamealinacivilizedmanner.OntheplantationinVirginia,andevenlater,mealsweregottenbythechildrenverymuchasdumbanimalsgettheirs.Itwasapieceofbreadhereandascrapofmeatthere.Itwasacupofmilkatonetimeandsomepotatoesatanother.Sometimesaportionofourfamilywouldeatoutoftheskilletorpot,whilesomeoneelsewouldeatfromatinplateheldontheknees,andoftenusingnothingbutthehandswithwhichtoholdthefood.WhenIhadgrowntosufficientsize,Iwasrequiredtogotothe"bighouse"atmeal-timestofanthefliesfromthetablebymeansofalargesetofpaperfansoperatedbyapulley.Naturallymuchoftheconversationofthewhitepeopleturneduponthesubjectoffreedomandthewar,andIabsorbedagooddealofit.IrememberthatatonetimeIsawtwoofmyyoungmistressesandsomeladyvisitorseatingginger-cakes,intheyard.AtthattimethosecakesseemedtometobeabsolutelythemosttemptinganddesirablethingsthatIhadeverseen;andIthenandthereresolvedthat,ifIevergotfree,theheightofmyambitionwouldbereachedifIcouldgettothepointwhereIcouldsecureandeatginger-cakesinthewaythatIsawthoseladiesdoing.在我的童年或者少年早期，我无法回忆起我们整个家庭一起坐在桌旁，祈求上帝祝福并以文明的方式用餐的任何一个实例。在弗吉尼亚州的种植园里，甚至后来，在种植园里孩子们吃饭的方式很像一些没有语言交流能力的动物获取食物。有时是一块面包，有时是一小片肉；有时候是一杯牛奶，有时候是一些土豆。有时我们的家人会从锅里或平底锅里取食，而另一些人则坐在膝盖上用锡盘吃，常常只用手来拿食物。当我长大到足以胜任的时候，我就被要求在用餐时间去“主屋”通过一个带有滑轮的大纸扇驱赶桌子周围的苍蝇。自然地，白人们的谈话大多围绕着自由和战争展开，我也吸收了很多相关内容。我记得有一次，我看到我的两位年轻女主人和一些女客人在院子里吃姜饼。当时那些姜饼对我来说似乎是我在生活中见过的最诱人、最想得到的东西；就在那时，我下定决心，如果我能获得自由，那么实现我的最高愿望就是能够像我看到的那些女士那样，随心所欲地获取并享用姜饼。Ofcourseasthewarwasprolongedthewhitepeople,inmanycases,oftenfounditdifficulttosecurefoodforthemselves.Ithinktheslavesfeltthedeprivationlessthanthewhites,becausetheusualdietforslaveswascornbreadandpork,andthesecouldberaisedontheplantation;butcoffee,tea,sugar,andotherarticleswhichthewhiteshadbeenaccustomedtousecouldnotberaisedontheplantation,andtheconditionsbroughtaboutbythewarfrequentlymadeitimpossibletosecurethesethings.Thewhiteswereofteningreatstraits.Parchedcornwasusedforcoffee,andakindofblackmolasseswasusedinsteadofsugar.Manytimesnothingwasusedtosweetentheso-calledteaandcoffee.当然，随着战争的持续，在许多情况下，白人们常常发现自己很难为自己弄到食物。我认为奴隶们感受到的匮乏程度比白人要轻一些，因为奴隶们的日常饮食通常是玉米面包和猪肉，这些在种植园里是可以生产的；但是咖啡、茶、糖和其他白人们习惯使用的物品却无法在种植园里生产，而战争带来的条件常常使得这些东西难以获得。白人们经常陷入困境。炒玉米被用来代替咖啡，一种黑糖蜜被用作糖的替代品。很多时候，所谓的茶和咖啡根本没有任何东西用来调味。ThefirstpairofshoesthatIrecallwearingwerewoodenones.Theyhadroughleatheronthetop,butthebottoms,whichwereaboutaninchthick,wereofwood.WhenIwalkedtheymadeafearfulnoise,andbesidesthistheywereveryinconvenient,sincetherewasnoyieldingtothenaturalpressureofthefoot.Inwearingthemonepresentedanexceedinglyawkwardappearance.ThemosttryingordealthatIwasforcedtoendureasaslaveboy,however,wasthewearingofaflaxshirt.IntheportionofVirginiawhereIliveditwascommontouseflaxaspartoftheclothingfortheslaves.Thatpartoftheflaxfromwhichourclothingwasmadewaslargelytherefuse,whichofcoursewasthecheapestandroughestpart.Icanscarcelyimagineanytorture,except,perhaps,thepullingofatooth,thatisequaltothatcausedbyputtingonanewflaxshirtforthefirsttime.Itisalmostequaltothefeelingthatonewouldexperienceifhehadadozenormorechestnutburrs,orahundredsmallpin-points,incontactwithhisflesh.EventothisdayIcanrecallaccuratelythetorturesthatIunderwentwhenputtingononeofthesegarments.Thefactthatmyfleshwassoftandtenderaddedtothepain.ButIhadnochoice.Ihadtoweartheflaxshirtornone;andhaditbeenlefttometochoose,Ishouldhavechosentowearnocovering.Inconnectionwiththeflaxshirt,mybrotherJohn,whoisseveralyearsolderthanIam,performedoneofthemostgenerousactsthatIeverheardofoneslaverelativedoingforanother.OnseveraloccasionswhenIwasbeingforcedtowearanewflaxshirt,hegenerouslyagreedtoputitoninmysteadandwearitforseveraldays,tillitwas"brokenin."UntilIhadgrowntobequiteayouththissinglegarmentwasallthatIwore.我记得穿的第一双鞋是木头做的。它们的顶部是粗糙的皮革，但底部大约一英寸厚，是木头制成的。当我走路时，它们会发出可怕的声音，并且除此之外，它们非常不方便，因为脚的自然压力没有得到任何缓解。穿着它们行走时，一个人的姿态显得极其笨拙。然而，作为一名奴隶男孩，我被迫忍受的最艰难的考验却是穿上亚麻衬衫。在我生活的弗吉尼亚州地区，使用亚麻作为奴隶服装的一部分是很常见的。我们衣服所用的亚麻大部分是废料，这当然是最便宜和最粗糙的部分。我几乎无法想象有任何酷刑，除了也许拔牙之外，能与第一次穿上新亚麻衬衫时的痛苦相提并论。它几乎相当于一个人如果身上有十几颗栗子壳或者上百个小针尖与皮肤接触时的感受。即使到现在，我依然能够准确地回忆起穿上这些衣服时所遭受的痛苦。我的皮肤柔软而娇嫩，这加剧了疼痛。但我别无选择，我必须穿这件亚麻衬衫，否则就什么都不穿；如果让我选择的话，我会选择不穿任何东西。关于这件亚麻衬衫，我的哥哥约翰，比我大几岁，做了一件我所听说过的奴隶亲属之间最慷慨的事情之一。有几次当我被迫穿上新亚麻衬衫时，他慷慨地同意代替我穿上它，并且穿几天直到它变得“顺滑”。直到我长大到相当大的年纪，这件单衣就是我唯一所穿的东西。Onemaygettheidea,fromwhatIhavesaid,thattherewasbitterfeelingtowardthewhitepeopleonthepartofmyrace,becauseofthefactthatmostofthewhitepopulationwasawayfightinginawarwhichwouldresultinkeepingtheNegroinslaveryiftheSouthwassuccessful.Inthecaseoftheslavesonourplacethiswasnottrue,anditwasnottrueofanylargeportionoftheslavepopulationintheSouthwheretheNegrowastreatedwithanythinglikedecency.DuringtheCivilWaroneofmyyoungmasterswaskilled,andtwowereseverelywounded.Irecallthefeelingofsorrowwhichexistedamongtheslaveswhentheyheardofthedeathof"Mars'Billy."Itwasnoshamsorrow,butreal.Someoftheslaveshadnursed"Mars'Billy";othershadplayedwithhimwhenhewasachild."Mars'Billy"hadbeggedformercyinthecaseofotherswhentheoverseerormasterwasthrashingthem.Thesorrowintheslavequarterwasonlysecondtothatinthe"bighouse."Whenthetwoyoungmasterswerebroughthomewounded,thesympathyoftheslaveswasshowninmanyways.Theywerejustasanxioustoassistinthenursingasthefamilyrelativesofthewounded.Someoftheslaveswouldevenbegfortheprivilegeofsittingupatnighttonursetheirwoundedmasters.Thistendernessandsympathyonthepartofthoseheldinbondagewasaresultoftheirkindlyandgenerousnature.Inordertodefendandprotectthewomenandchildrenwhowereleftontheplantationswhenthewhitemaleswenttowar,theslaveswouldhavelaiddowntheirlives.Theslavewhowasselectedtosleepinthe"bighouse"duringtheabsenceofthemaleswasconsideredtohavetheplaceofhonour.Anyoneattemptingtoharm"youngMistress"or"oldMistress"duringthenightwouldhavehadtocrossthedeadbodyoftheslavetodoso.Idonotknowhowmanyhavenoticedit,butIthinkthatitwillbefoundtobetruethattherearefewinstances,eitherinslaveryorfreedom,inwhichamemberofmyracehasbeenknowntobetrayaspecifictrust.从我所说的话中，人们可能会认为我的种族对白人怀有强烈的怨恨，因为大多数白人正在远离战场打仗，这场战争的结果将是，如果南方获胜，黑奴将继续处于奴隶状态。就我们家的奴隶而言，这并不属实，而且在整个南方，只要黑奴受到像样对待的地方，也并非如此。在南北战争期间，我的一位年轻主人被杀死了，两位受了重伤。我记得当奴隶们听到“比利少爷”去世的消息时所表现出的悲伤之情。这不是假装的悲伤，而是发自内心的。有些奴隶曾经照顾过“比利少爷”；另一些则在他小时候和他一起玩耍。“比利少爷”曾经在监工或主人鞭打他人时请求怜悯。奴隶们的悲伤之情仅次于“大宅”里的悲伤。当两位年轻的主人带着伤回家时，奴隶们的同情心以多种方式表现出来。他们和受伤者的家庭成员一样渴望协助护理工作。一些奴隶甚至会恳求有机会在夜晚守夜来照顾他们的受伤主人。这种由被束缚者表现出的温柔和同情是他们善良慷慨天性的结果。为了保护战争期间留在种植园的妇女和儿童，奴隶们愿意献出自己的生命。在男性离开后被选中睡在“大宅”的奴隶被认为是受了荣誉待遇。任何人在夜晚试图伤害“小小姐”或“老夫人”时，都必须跨过奴隶的尸体才能做到这一点。我不知道有多少人注意到了这一点，但我认为你会发现，在奴隶制或自由状态下，很少有例子能证明我的种族成员曾背叛过特定的信任。Asarule,notonlydidthemembersofmyraceentertainnofeelingsofbitternessagainstthewhitesbeforeandduringthewar,buttherearemanyinstancesofNegroestenderlycaringfortheirformermastersandmistresseswhoforsomereasonhavebecomepooranddependentsincethewar.Iknowofinstanceswheretheformermastersofslaveshaveforyearsbeensuppliedwithmoneybytheirformerslavestokeepthemfromsuffering.Ihaveknownofstillothercasesinwhichtheformerslaveshaveassistedintheeducationofthedescendantsoftheirformerowners.IknowofacaseonalargeplantationintheSouthinwhichayoungwhiteman,thesonoftheformerowneroftheestate,hasbecomesoreducedinpurseandself-controlbyreasonofdrinkthatheisapitiablecreature;andyet,notwithstandingthepovertyofthecolouredpeoplethemselvesonthisplantation,theyhaveforyearssuppliedthisyoungwhitemanwiththenecessitiesoflife.Onesendshimalittlecoffeeorsugar,anotheralittlemeat,andsoon.Nothingthatthecolouredpeoplepossessistoogoodforthesonof"oldMars'Tom,"whowillperhapsneverbepermittedtosufferwhileanyremainontheplacewhoknewdirectlyorindirectlyof"oldMars'Tom."一般来说，在战争之前和战争期间，我的种族的成员不仅没有对白人怀有丝毫的怨恨之情，而且还有许多例子表明黑人在战后由于某些原因变得贫穷和依赖他人时，依然细心地照顾着他们的前主人和女主人。我知道有许多实例，前奴隶多年来一直向他们的前主人提供金钱，以防止他们遭受困苦。我还知道其他一些案例，前奴隶帮助资助了他们前主人后代的教育。我知道南方一个大种植园里发生的一个案例，其中这个庄园前主人的儿子，一位年轻的白人，由于酗酒，经济拮据且自控能力下降，成了一个可怜的人；然而，尽管这个种植园里的有色人种自身也贫困，但他们多年来一直在供给这个年轻白人生活必需品。一个人给他送一点咖啡或糖，另一个人送一点肉，如此等等。有色人种拥有的东西再好也不够给“老汤姆先生”的儿子用，只要这个地方还有人直接或间接认识“老汤姆先生”，就不会允许他受苦。Ihavesaidthattherearefewinstancesofamemberofmyracebetrayingaspecifictrust.OneofthebestillustrationsofthiswhichIknowofisinthecaseofanex-slavefromVirginiawhomImetnotlongagoinalittletowninthestateofOhio.Ifoundthatthismanhadmadeacontractwithhismaster,twoorthreeyearsprevioustotheEmancipationProclamation,totheeffectthattheslavewastobepermittedtobuyhimself,bypayingsomuchperyearforhisbody;andwhilehewaspayingforhimself,hewastobepermittedtolabourwhereandforwhomhepleased.FindingthathecouldsecurebetterwagesinOhio,hewentthere.Whenfreedomcame,hewasstillindebttohismastersomethreehundreddollars.NotwithstandingthattheEmancipationProclamationfreedhimfromanyobligationtohismaster,thisblackmanwalkedthegreaterportionofthedistancebacktowherehisoldmasterlivedinVirginia,andplacedthelastdollar,withinterest,inhishands.Intalkingtomeaboutthis,themantoldmethatheknewthathedidnothavetopaythedebt,butthathehadgivenhiswordtothemaster,andhiswordhehadneverbroken.Hefeltthathecouldnotenjoyhisfreedomtillhehadfulfilledhispromise.我说过，我的种族中很少有人违背特定的信任。我知道的一个最好的例子是，在俄亥俄州的一个小镇上，我遇到了一位来自弗吉尼亚州的前奴隶。我发现这个人在解放宣言颁布前两三年，与他的主人签订了一份合同，约定奴隶可以通过每年支付一定金额来赎身；而在他支付赎金期间，他可以自由选择工作地点和雇主。由于他在俄亥俄州能赚到更高的工资，他便去了那里。当自由到来时，他还欠他的主人大约三百美元。尽管解放宣言使他不再有义务向主人偿还债务，但这位黑人男子步行了大部分路程回到他在弗吉尼亚州的老主人居住的地方，并将最后一美元连同利息交到了主人手中。在与我交谈时，这个人告诉我，他知道他不必偿还这笔债务，但他已经向主人许诺过，而他从未违背自己的承诺。他觉得在他履行承诺之前，无法真正享受自由。FromsomethingsthatIhavesaidonemaygettheideathatsomeoftheslavesdidnotwantfreedom.Thisisnottrue.Ihaveneverseenonewhodidnotwanttobefree,oronewhowouldreturntoslavery.从我说过的一些话，可能会有人认为有些奴隶并不想要自由。这不是真的。我从未见过一个不想获得自由的人，也从未见过一个人愿意回到奴隶状态。Ipityfromthebottomofmyheartanynationorbodyofpeoplethatissounfortunateastogetentangledinthenetofslavery.IhavelongsinceceasedtocherishanyspiritofbitternessagainsttheSouthernwhitepeopleonaccountoftheenslavementofmyrace.Noonesectionofourcountrywaswhollyresponsibleforitsintroduction,and,besides,itwasrecognizedandprotectedforyearsbytheGeneralGovernment.HavingoncegotitstentaclesfastenedontotheeconomicandsociallifeoftheRepublic,itwasnoeasymatterforthecountrytorelieveitselfoftheinstitution.Then,whenweridourselvesofprejudice,orracialfeeling,andlookfactsintheface,wemustacknowledgethat,notwithstandingthecrueltyandmoralwrongofslavery,thetenmillionNegroesinhabitingthiscountry,whothemselvesorwhoseancestorswentthroughtheschoolofAmericanslavery,areinastrongerandmorehopefulcondition,materially,intellectually,morally,andreligiously,thanistrueofanequalnumberofblackpeopleinanyotherportionoftheglobe.ThisissotosuchanextentthatNegroesinthiscountry,whothemselvesorwhoseforefatherswentthroughtheschoolofslavery,areconstantlyreturningtoAfricaasmissionariestoenlightenthosewhoremainedinthefatherland.ThisIsay,nottojustifyslavery—ontheotherhand,Icondemnitasaninstitution,asweallknowthatinAmericaitwasestablishedforselfishandfinancialreasons,andnotfromamissionarymotive—buttocallattentiontoafact,andtoshowhowProvidencesooftenusesmenandinstitutionstoaccomplishapurpose.Whenpersonsaskmeinthesedayshow,inthemidstofwhatsometimesseemhopelesslydiscouragingconditions,Icanhavesuchfaithinthefutureofmyraceinthiscountry,Iremindthemofthewildernessthroughwhichandoutofwhich,agoodProvidencehasalreadyledus.我由衷地同情任何不幸陷入奴隶制网罗的国家或人群。由于我的种族曾被奴役，我早已停止对南方白人的任何怨恨情绪。没有人能够说我们国家的任何一个地区完全对奴隶制的引入负有责任，而且在多年间，这一制度得到了联邦政府的认可和保护。一旦这个制度抓住了共和国的经济和社会生活，想要摆脱它并非易事。然后，当我们放下偏见，抛开种族情感，正视事实时，我们必须承认，尽管奴隶制是残酷且道德上错误的，但居住在这个国家的千万黑人，他们或者他们的祖先经历了美国式的奴隶制教育，他们在物质、智力、道德和宗教方面比世界上其他任何地方的同等数量的黑人处于更强大和更有希望的状态。这一点如此明显，以至于在这个国家中，那些自己或其祖先经历过奴隶制教育的黑人，不断返回非洲作为传教士去启蒙那些留在祖国的人。我这样说，并不是为了为奴隶制辩护——相反，我谴责这一制度，因为我们都知道，在美国它是为了自私和经济利益而建立的，而不是出于传教目的——而是为了引起人们对这一事实的关注，并展示天命如何常常利用人和制度来实现一个目的。当现在有人问我，面对有时看似毫无希望的令人沮丧条件，我为何能对我国种族的未来如此有信心时，我会提醒他们，一位仁慈的天命已经带领我们穿越并走出荒野。EversinceIhavebeenoldenoughtothinkformyself,Ihaveentertainedtheideathat,notwithstandingthecruelwrongsinflicteduponus,theblackmangotnearlyasmuchoutofslaveryasthewhitemandid.ThehurtfulinfluencesoftheinstitutionwerenotbyanymeansconfinedtotheNegro.Thiswasfullyillustratedbythelifeuponourownplantation.Thewholemachineryofslaverywassoconstructedastocauselabour,asarule,tobelookeduponasabadgeofdegradation,ofinferiority.Hencelabourwassomethingthatbothracesontheslaveplantationsoughttoescape.Theslavesystemonourplace,inalargemeasure,tookthespiritofself-relianceandself-helpoutofthewhitepeople.Myoldmasterhadmanyboysandgirls,butnotone,sofarasIknow,evermasteredasingletradeorspeciallineofproductiveindustry.Thegirlswerenottaughttocook,sew,ortotakecareofthehouse.Allofthiswaslefttotheslaves.Theslaves,ofcourse,hadlittlepersonalinterestinthelifeoftheplantation,andtheirignorancepreventedthemfromlearninghowtodothingsinthemostimprovedandthoroughmanner.Asaresultofthesystem,fenceswereoutofrepair,gateswerehanginghalfoffthehinges,doorscreaked,window-paneswereout,plasteringhadfallenbutwasnotreplaced,weedsgrewintheyard.Asarule,therewasfoodforwhitesandblacks,butinsidethehouse,andonthedining-roomtable,therewaswantingthatdelicacyandrefinementoftouchandfinishwhichcanmakeahomethemostconvenient,comfortable,andattractiveplaceintheworld.Withaltherewasawasteoffoodandothermaterialswhichwassad.Whenfreedomcame,theslaveswerealmostaswellfittedtobeginlifeanewasthemaster,exceptinthematterofbook-learningandownershipofproperty.Theslaveownerandhissonshadmasterednospecialindustry.Theyunconsciouslyhadimbibedthefeelingthatmanuallabourwasnottheproperthingforthem.Ontheotherhand,theslaves,inmanycases,hadmasteredsomehandicraft,andnonewereashamed,andfewunwilling,tolabour.自从我能独立思考以来，我就一直认为，尽管我们遭受了残酷的不公，黑人从奴隶制中得到的好处几乎和白人一样多。这种制度的有害影响绝不仅限于黑人。这一点在我们自己的种植园生活中得到了充分的体现。整个奴隶制体系被设计得让劳动普遍被视为一种屈辱和低贱的标志。因此，两种种族在奴隶制种植园中都试图逃避劳动。我们家的奴隶制，在很大程度上，剥夺了白人自力更生和自助的精神。我的老主人有许多男孩和女孩，据我所知，没有一个人掌握过任何手艺或特殊生产行业。女孩们没有学习烹饪、缝纫或照顾房子。所有这些都交给了奴隶去做。当然，奴隶们对种植园的生活几乎没有个人兴趣，他们的无知也阻止了他们以最改进和彻底的方式学习如何做事。由于这个制度，篱笆没有修好，门轴半挂在上面，门吱呀作响，窗玻璃破碎未补，墙皮脱落却无人修复，院子里杂草丛生。一般来说，白人和黑人都有足够的食物，但在房子里，在餐厅的餐桌上，缺乏那种精致和细腻的触感和完成度，而这可以让一个家成为世界上最方便、舒适和吸引人的地方。总之，浪费食物和其他资源的情况令人悲伤。当自由到来时，除了在书本知识和财产所有权方面，奴隶几乎和主人一样适合重新开始生活。奴隶主和他的儿子们并没有掌握任何特殊行业。他们不知不觉地养成了这样一种感觉，即体力劳动不是他们应该做的事情。另一方面，在许多情况下，奴隶们掌握了一些手工艺，而且很少有人羞于劳动，也鲜有不愿意劳动的人。Finallythewarclosed,andthedayoffreedomcame.Itwasamomentousandeventfuldaytoalluponourplantation.Wehadbeenexpectingit.Freedomwasintheair,andhadbeenformonths.Desertingsoldiersreturningtotheirhomesweretobeseeneveryday.Otherswhohadbeendischarged,orwhoseregimentshadbeenparoled,wereconstantlypassingnearourplace.The"grape-vinetelegraph"waskeptbusynightandday.Thenewsandmutteringsofgreateventswereswiftlycarriedfromoneplantationtoanother.Inthefearof"Yankee"invasions,thesilverwareandothervaluablesweretakenfromthe"bighouse,"buriedinthewoods,andguardedbytrustedslaves.Woebetoanyonewhowouldhaveattemptedtodisturbtheburiedtreasure.TheslaveswouldgivetheYankeesoldiersfood,drink,clothing—anythingbutthatwhichhadbeenspecificallyintrustedtotheircareandhonour.Asthegreatdaydrewnearer,therewasmoresingingintheslavequartersthanusual.Itwasbolder,hadmorering,andlastedlaterintothenight.Mostoftheversesoftheplantationsongshadsomereferencetofreedom.True,theyhadsungthosesameversesbefore,buttheyhadbeencarefultoexplainthatthe"freedom"inthesesongsreferredtothenextworld,andhadnoconnectionwithlifeinthisworld.Nowtheygraduallythrewoffthemask,andwerenotafraidtoletitbeknownthatthe"freedom"intheirsongsmeantfreedomofthebodyinthisworld.Thenightbeforetheeventfulday,wordwassenttotheslavequarterstotheeffectthatsomethingunusualwasgoingtotakeplaceatthe"bighouse"thenextmorning.Therewaslittle,ifany,sleepthatnight.Allasexcitementandexpectancy.Earlythenextmorningwordwassenttoalltheslaves,oldandyoung,togatheratthehouse.Incompanywithmymother,brother,andsister,andalargenumberofotherslaves,Iwenttothemaster'shouse.Allofourmaster'sfamilywereeitherstandingorseatedontheverandaofthehouse,wheretheycouldseewhatwastotakeplaceandhearwhatwassaid.Therewasafeelingofdeepinterest,orperhapssadness,ontheirfaces,butnotbitterness.AsInowrecalltheimpressiontheymadeuponme,theydidnotatthemomentseemtobesadbecauseofthelossofproperty,butratherbecauseofpartingwiththosewhomtheyhadrearedandwhowereinmanywaysveryclosetothem.ThemostdistinctthingthatInowrecallinconnectionwiththescenewasthatsomemanwhoseemedtobeastranger(aUnitedStatesofficer,Ipresume)madealittlespeechandthenreadaratherlongpaper—theEmancipationProclamation,Ithink.Afterthereadingweweretoldthatwewereallfree,andcouldgowhenandwherewepleased.Mymother,whowasstandingbymyside,leanedoverandkissedherchildren,whiletearsofjoyrandownhercheeks.Sheexplainedtouswhatitallmeant,thatthiswasthedayforwhichshehadbeensolongpraying,butfearingthatshewouldneverlivetosee.终于，战争结束了，自由的日子到来了。对我们种植园里的所有人来说，这是一个意义重大且影响深远的日子。我们一直在期待这一天的到来。空气中弥漫着自由的气息，这种气息已经持续了好几个月。每天都能看到一些逃兵返回家园，还有一些被遣散或者所属军团被释放的士兵不断经过我们的地方。葡萄藤电话日夜忙碌着。关于重大事件的消息和传闻迅速从一个种植园传到另一个种植园。由于害怕“北方佬”的入侵，银器和其他贵重物品被从“主屋”中取出，埋藏在树林里，并由值得信赖的奴隶守护。任何人若试图破坏这些埋藏的财宝都将遭遇不幸。奴隶们会给北方军队提供食物、饮料、衣物——除了那些明确托付给他们照管和荣誉的东西。随着重要日子的临近，奴隶区的歌声比平时更加大胆、更有气势，并且持续到更晚的夜晚。大多数种植园歌曲的歌词都与自由有关。确实，他们之前也唱过同样的歌词，但他们小心翼翼地解释说，这些歌中的“自由”指的是来世，并不涉及现世的生活。而现在，他们逐渐摘下面具，不再害怕让人知道他们歌中提到的“自由”是指现世的身体自由。在那个重要日子的前一天晚上，有人向奴隶区传达消息，表示第二天早上“主屋”会有不同寻常的事情发生。那一夜几乎没有人睡觉，大家都充满了激动和期待。第二天一大早，所有奴隶，无论老少，都被通知聚集在主人的房屋前。我和我的母亲、哥哥、姐姐以及许多其他奴隶一起去了主人的房子。主人一家人都站在或者坐在房子的门廊上，这样他们就能看到即将发生的事情并听到所说的话。他们的脸上有一种深深的兴趣感，或许可以说是悲伤，但没有怨恨。现在回想起来，当时他们并没有因为失去财产而显得悲伤，而是因为要与抚养长大并深深依附于他们的那些人分别而感到难过。我所记得的场景中最鲜明的一件事是，有个人似乎是个陌生人（我想他应该是一名美国军官）做了一个简短的讲话，然后读了一篇相当长的文件——我想那应该是《解放宣言》。在宣读之后，我们被告知我们所有人都自由了，可以随时离开去任何地方。我的母亲站在我身边，她靠过来亲吻她的孩子们，喜悦的泪水顺着她的脸颊流下。她向我们解释这一切意味着什么，这是她长久以来祈祷的日子，但她担心自己可能活不到亲眼见证这一天。Forsomeminutestherewasgreatrejoicing,andthanksgiving,andwildscenesofecstasy.Buttherewasnofeelingofbitterness.Infact,therewaspityamongtheslavesforourformerowners.Thewildrejoicingonthepartoftheemancipatedcolouredpeoplelastedbutforabriefperiod,forInoticedthatbythetimetheyreturnedtotheircabinstherewasachangeintheirfeelings.Thegreatresponsibilityofbeingfree,ofhavingchargeofthemselves,ofhavingtothinkandplanforthemselvesandtheirchildren,seemedtotakepossessionofthem.Itwasverymuchlikesuddenlyturningayouthoftenortwelveyearsoutintotheworldtoprovideforhimself.InafewhoursthegreatquestionswithwhichtheAnglo-Saxonracehadbeengrapplingforcenturieshadbeenthrownuponthesepeopletobesolved.Thesewerethequestionsofahome,aliving,therearingofchildren,education,citizenship,andtheestablishmentandsupportofchurches.Wasitanywonderthatwithinafewhoursthewildrejoicingceasedandafeelingofdeepgloomseemedtopervadetheslavequarters?Tosomeitseemedthat,nowthattheywereinactualpossessionofit,freedomwasamoreseriousthingthantheyhadexpectedtofindit.Someoftheslaveswereseventyoreightyyearsold;theirbestdaysweregone.Theyhadnostrengthwithwhichtoearnalivinginastrangeplaceandamongstrangepeople,eveniftheyhadbeensurewheretofindanewplaceofabode.Tothisclasstheproblemseemedespeciallyhard.Besides,deepdownintheirheartstherewasastrangeandpeculiarattachmentto"oldMarster"and"oldMissus,"andtotheirchildren,whichtheyfoundithardtothinkofbreakingoff.Withthesetheyhadspentinsomecasesnearlyahalf-century,anditwasnolightthingtothinkofparting.Gradually,onebyone,stealthilyatfirst,theolderslavesbegantowanderfromtheslavequartersbacktothe"bighouse"tohaveawhisperedconversationwiththeirformerownersastothefuture.几分钟之内，人们欢欣鼓舞，感恩不已，狂喜的情绪四处蔓延。但并没有感到丝毫的怨恨。事实上，奴隶们对我们从前的主人怀有同情。被解放的有色人种的狂喜之情持续了很短一段时间，因为我注意到，当他们回到自己的小屋时，情绪发生了变化。巨大的自由责任，对自己的掌控，以及为自身和子女思考和规划的责任似乎占据了他们的内心。这很像突然把一个十岁或十二岁的孩子推到世界上去谋生。短短几个小时，盎格鲁-撒克逊种族几百年来一直在努力解决的重大问题就被抛给了这些人去解决。这些问题包括一个家、谋生手段、养育孩子、教育、公民身份以及建立和维持教堂。难道不奇怪吗？仅仅几个小时，狂喜之情就停止了，一种深深的忧郁笼罩了奴隶区？对一些人来说，现在真正拥有自由时，他们发现自由比预期的更加严肃。有些奴隶已经七十或八十岁了；他们最好的时光已经过去。即使他们确定能在陌生的地方找到新的住处，他们也没有足够的体力去谋生。这一类人的问题显得尤为棘手。此外，在他们内心深处，有一种奇怪而特别的依恋，对“老主人”、“老夫人”以及他们的孩子的依恋，让他们难以割舍。在某些情况下，他们和这些主人一起度过了将近半个世纪，要分开并不是一件轻松的事。渐渐地，一个接一个，起初是偷偷摸摸的，年长的奴隶开始从奴隶区悄悄回到“主屋”，与从前的主人低声交谈未来的事情
