第24章

THETEST

TheBondelswereahappyfamily，andalthoughtheyfrequentlyquarrelledabouttrifles，theysoonbecamefriendsagain.

Bondelwasamerchantwhohadretiredfromactivebusinessaftersavingenoughtoallowhimtolivequietly;hehadrentedalittlehouseatSaint—Germainandlivedtherewithhiswife.Hewasaquietmanwithverydecidedopinions;hehadacertaindegreeofeducationandreadseriousnewspapers;nevertheless，heappreciatedthegauloiswit.

Endowedwithalogicalmind，andthatpracticalcommonsensewhichisthemasterqualityoftheindustrialFrenchbourgeois，hethoughtlittle，butclearly，andreachedadecisiononlyaftercarefulconsiderationofthematterinhand.Hewasofmediumsize，withadistinguishedlook，andwasbeginningtoturngray.

Hiswife，whowasfullofseriousqualities，hadalsoseveralfaults.

Shehadaquicktemperandafranknessthatbordereduponviolence.Sheboreagrudgealongtime.Shehadoncebeenpretty，buthadnowbecometoostoutandtoored;butinherneighborhoodatSaint—Germainshestillpassedforaverybeautifulwoman，whoexemplifiedhealthandanuncertaintemper.

Theirdissensionsalmostalwaysbeganatbreakfast，oversometrivialmatter，andtheyoftencontinuedalldayandevenuntilthefollowingday.Theirsimple，common，limitedlifeimpartedseriousnesstothemostunimportantmatters，andeverytopicofconversationbecameasubjectofdispute.Thishadnotbeensointhedayswhenbusinessoccupiedtheirminds，drewtheirheartstogether，andgavethemcommoninterestsandoccupation.

ButatSaint—Germaintheysawfewerpeople.Ithadbeennecessarytomakenewacquaintances，tocreateforthemselvesanewworldamongstrangers，anewexistencedevoidofoccupations.Thenthemonotonyoflonelinesshadsouredeachofthemalittle;andthequiethappinesswhichtheyhadhopedandwaitedforwiththecomingofrichesdidnotappear.

OneJunemorning，justastheyweresittingdowntobreakfast，Bondelasked：

"DoyouknowthepeoplewholiveinthelittleredcottageattheendoftheRueduBerceau？"

MadameBondelwasoutofsorts.Sheanswered：

"Yesandno;Iamacquaintedwiththem，butIdonotcaretoknowthem."

"Whynot？Theyseemtobeverynice."

"Because——"

"ThismorningImetthehusbandontheterraceandwetookalittlewalktogether."

Seeingthattherewasdangerintheair，Bendeladded："Itwashewhospoketomefirst."

Hiswifelookedathiminadispleasedmanner.Shecontinued："Youwouldhavedonejustaswelltoavoidhim."

"Why？"

"Becausetherearerumorsaboutthem."

"Whatkind？"

"Oh！rumorssuchasoneoftenhears！"

M.Bondelwas，unfortunately，alittlehasty.Heexclaimed：

"Mydear，youknowthatIabhorgossip.Asforthosepeople，Ifindthemverypleasant."

Sheaskedtestily："Thewifealso？"

"Why，yes;althoughIhavebarelyseenher."

Thediscussiongraduallygrewmoreheated，alwaysonthesamesubjectforlackofothers.MadameBondelobstinatelyrefusedtosaywhatshehadheardabouttheseneighbors，allowingthingstobeunderstoodwithoutsayingexactlywhattheywere.Bendelwouldshrughisshoulders，grin，andexasperatehiswife.Shefinallycriedout："Well！thatgentlemanisdeceivedbyhiswife，there！"

Thehusbandansweredquietly："Ican’tseehowthataffectsthehonorofaman."

Sheseemeddumfounded："What！youdon’tsee？——youdon’tsee？——well，that’stoomuch！Youdon’tsee！——why，it’sapublicscandal！heisdisgraced！"

Heanswered："Ah！bynomeans！Shouldamanbeconsidereddisgracedbecauseheisdeceived，becauseheisbetrayed，robbed？No，indeed！

I’llgrantyouthatthatmaybethecaseforthewife，butasforhim——"

Shebecamefurious，exclaiming："Forhimaswellasforher.Theyarebothindisgrace;it’sapublicshame."

Bondel，verycalm，asked："Firstofall，isittrue？Whocanassertsuchathingaslongasnoonehasbeencaughtintheact？"

MadameBondelwasgrowinguneasy;shesnapped："What？Whocanassertit？

Why，everybody！everybody！it’sasclearasthenoseonyourface.

Everybodyknowsitandistalkingaboutit.Thereisnottheslightestdoubt."

Hewasgrinning："Foralongtimepeoplethoughtthatthesunrevolvedaroundtheearth.Thismanloveshiswifeandspeaksofhertenderlyandreverently.Thiswholebusinessisnothingbutlies！"

Stampingherfoot，shestammered："Doyouthinkthatthatfool，thatidiot，knowsanythingaboutit？"

Bondeldidnotgrowangry;hewasreasoningclearly："Excuseme.Thisgentlemanisnofool.Heseemedtome，onthecontrary，tobeveryintelligentandshrewd;andyoucan’tmakemebelievethatamanwithbrainsdoesn’tnoticesuchathinginhisownhouse，whentheneighbors，whoarenotthere，areignorantofnodetailofthisliaison——forI’llwarrantthattheyknoweverything."

MadameBondelhadafitofangrymirth，whichirritatedherhusband’snerves.Shelaughed："Ha！ha！ha！they’reallthesame！There’snotamanalivewhocoulddiscoverathinglikethatunlesshisnosewasstuckintoit！"

Thediscussionwaswanderingtoothertopicsnow.Shewasexclaimingovertheblindnessofdeceivedhusbands，athingwhichhedoubtedandwhichsheaffirmedwithsuchairsofpersonalcontemptthathefinallygrewangry.Thenthediscussionbecameanangryquarrel，whereshetookthesideofthewomenandhedefendedthemen.Hehadtheconceittodeclare："Well，IswearthatifIhadeverbeendeceived，Ishouldhavenoticedit，andimmediately，too.AndIshouldhavetakenawayyourdesireforsuchthingsinsuchamannerthatitwouldhavetakenmorethanonedoctortosetyouonfootagain！"

Boilingwithanger，shecriedouttohim："You！you！why，you’reasbigafoolastheothers，doyouhear！"

Hestillmaintained："IcansweartoyouthatIamnot！"

Shelaughedsoimpertinentlythathefelthisheartbeatandachillrundownhisback.Forthethirdtimehesaid：

"Ishouldhaveseenit！"

Sherose，stilllaughinginthesamemanner.Sheslammedthedoorandlefttheroom，saying："Well！ifthatisn’ttoomuch！"

Bondelremainedalone，illatease.Thatinsolent，provokinglaughhadtouchedhimtothequick.Hewentoutside，walked，dreamed.Therealizationofthelonelinessofhisnewlifemadehimsadandmorbid.

Theneighbor，whomhehadmetthatmorning，cametohimwithoutstretchedhands.Theycontinuedtheirwalktogether.Aftertouchingonvarioussubjectstheycametotalkoftheirwives.Bothseemedtohavesomethingtoconfide，somethinginexpressible，vague，aboutthesebeingsassociatedwiththeirlives;theirwives.Theneighborwassaying：

"Really，attimes，onemightthinkthattheybearsomeparticularill—

willtowardtheirhusband，justbecauseheisahusband.Ilovemywife——Iloveherverymuch;Iappreciateandrespecther;well！therearetimeswhensheseemstohavemoreconfidenceandfaithinourfriendsthaninme."

Bondelimmediatelythought："Thereisnodoubt;mywifewasright！"

Whenheleftthismanhebegantothinkthingsoveragain.Hefeltinhissoulastrangeconfusionofcontradictoryideas，asortofinteriorburning;thatmocking，impertinentlaughkeptringinginhisearsandseemedtosay："Why;youarejustthesameastheothers，youfool！"Thatwasindeedbravado，oneofthosepiecesofimpudenceofwhichawomanmakesusewhenshedareseverything，riskseverything，towoundandhumiliatethemanwhohasarousedherire.Thispoormanmustalsobeoneofthosedeceivedhusbands，likesomanyothers.Hehadsaidsadly：

"Therearetimeswhensheseemstohavemoreconfidenceandfaithinourfriendsthaninme."Thatishowahusbandformulatedhisobservationsontheparticularattentionsofhiswifeforanotherman.Thatwasall.

Hehadseennothingmore.Hewasliketherest——alltherest！

AndhowstrangelyBondel’sownwifehadlaughedasshesaid："You，too——

you，too."Howwildandimprudentthesecreaturesarewhocanarousesuchsuspicionsintheheartforthesolepurposeofrevenge！

Heranovertheirwholelifesincetheirmarriage，reviewedhismentallistoftheiracquaintances，toseewhethershehadeverappearedtoshowmoreconfidenceinanyoneelsethaninhimself.Heneverhadsuspectedanyone，hewassocalm，sosureofher，soconfident.

But，nowhethoughtofit，shehadhadafriend，anintimatefriend，whoforalmostayearhaddinedwiththemthreetimesaweek.Tancret，goodoldTancret，whomhe，Bendel，lovedasabrotherandwhomhecontinuedtoseeonthesly，sincehiswife，hedidnotknowwhy，hadgrownangryatthecharmingfellow.

Hestoppedtothink，lookingoverthepastwithanxiouseyes.Thenhegrewangryathimselfforharboringthisshamefulinsinuationofthedefiant，jealous，badegowhichlivesinallofus.Heblamedandaccusedhimselfwhenherememberedthevisitsandthedemeanorofthisfriendwhomhiswifehaddismissedfornoapparentreason.But，suddenly，othermemoriesreturnedtohim，similarrupturesduetothevindictivecharacterofMadameBondel，whoneverpardonedaslight.Thenhelaughedfranklyathimselfforthedoubtswhichhehadnursed;andherememberedtheangrylooksofhiswifeashewouldtellher，whenhereturnedatnight："IsawgoodoldTancret，andhewishedtoberememberedtoyou，"andhereassuredhimself.

Shewouldinvariablyanswer："WhenyouseethatgentlemanyoucantellhimthatIcanverywelldispensewithhisremembrances."Withwhatanirritated，angrylookshewouldsaythesewords！Howwellonecouldfeelthatshedidnotandwouldnotforgive——andhehadsuspectedherevenforasecond？Suchfoolishness！

Butwhydidshegrowsoangry？Sheneverhadgiventheexactreasonforthisquarrel.Shestillborehimthatgrudge！Wasit？——Butno——no——andBondeldeclaredthathewasloweringhimselfbyeventhinkingofsuchthings.

Yes，hewasundoubtedlyloweringhimself，buthecouldnothelpthinkingofit，andheaskedhimselfwithterrorifthisthoughtwhichhadenteredintohismindhadnotcometostop，ifhedidnotcarryinhishearttheseedoffearfultorment.Heknewhimself;hewasamantothinkoverhisdoubts，asformerlyhewouldruminateoverhiscommercialoperations，fordaysandnights，endlesslyweighingtheprosandthecons.

Hewasalreadybecomingexcited;hewaswalkingfastandlosinghiscalmness.Athoughtcannotbedowned.Itisintangible，cannotbecaught，cannotbekilled.

Suddenlyaplanoccurredtohim;itwasbold，soboldthatatfirsthedoubtedwhetherhewouldcarryitout.

EachtimethathemetTancret，hisfriendwouldaskfornewsofMadameBondel，andBondelwouldanswer："Sheisstillalittleangry."Nothingmore.GoodLord！Whatafoolhehadbeen！Perhaps！

Well，hewouldtakethetraintoParis，gotoTancret，andbringhimbackwithhimthatveryevening，assuringhimthathiswife’smysteriousangerhaddisappeared.ButhowwouldMadameBondelact？Whatascenetherewouldbe！Whatanger！whatscandal！Whatofit？——thatwouldberevenge！Whensheshouldcomefacetofacewithhim，unexpectedly，hecertainlyoughttobeabletoreadthetruthintheirexpressions.

Heimmediatelywenttothestation，boughthisticket，gotintothecar，andassoonashefelthimselfbeingcarriedawaybythetrain，hefeltafear，akindofdizziness，atwhathewasgoingtodo.Inordernottoweaken，backdown，andreturnalone，hetriednottothinkofthematteranylonger，tobringhismindtobearonotheraffairs，todowhathehaddecidedtodowithablindresolution;andhebegantohumtunesfromoperettasandmusichallsuntilhereachedParis.

AssoonashefoundhimselfwalkingalongthestreetsthatledtoTancret’s，hefeltlikestopping，Hepausedinfrontofseveralshops，noticedthepricesofcertainobjects，wasinterestedinnewthings，feltliketakingaglassofbeer，whichwasnothisusualcustom;andasheapproachedhisfriend’sdwellingheardentlyhopednotmeethim.ButTancretwasathome，alone，reading.Hejumpedupinsurprise，crying：

"Ah！Bondel！whatluck！"

Bondel，embarrassed，answered："Yes，mydearfellow，IhappenedtobeinParis，andIthoughtI’ddropinandshakehandswithyou."

"That’sverynice，verynice！Themoresothatforsometimeyouhavenotfavoredmewithyourpresenceveryoften."

"Well，yousee——evenagainstone’swill，oneisofteninfluencedbysurroundingconditions，andasmywifeseemedtobearyousomeill—will"

"Jove！’seemed’——shedidbetterthanthat，sincesheshowedmethedoor."

"Whatwasthereason？Ineverheardit."

"Oh！nothingatall——abitoffoolishness——adiscussioninwhichwedidnotbothagree."

"Butwhatwasthesubjectofthisdiscussion？"

"Aladyofmyacquaintance，whomyoumayperhapsknowbyname，MadameBoutin."

"Ah！really.Well，Ithinkthatmywifehasforgottenhergrudge，forthisverymorningshespoketomeofyouinverypleasantterms."

Tancretstartedandseemedsodumfoundedthatforafewminuteshecouldfindnothingtosay.Thenheasked："Shespokeofme——inpleasantterms？"

"Yes."

"Youaresure？"

"OfcourseIam.Iamnotdreaming."

"Andthen？"

"Andthen——asIwascomingtoParisIthoughtthatIwouldpleaseyoubycomingtotellyouthegoodnews."

"Why，yes——why，yes——"

Bondelappearedtohesitate;then，afterashortpause，headded："Ievenhadanidea."

"Whatisit？"

"Totakeyoubackhomewithmetodinner."

Tancret，whowasnaturallyprudent，seemedalittleworriedbythisproposition，andheasked："Oh！really——isitpossible？Arewenotexposingourselvesto——to——ascene？"

"No，no，indeed！"

"Because，youknow，MadameBendelbearsmaliceforalongtime."

"Yes，butIcanassureyouthatshenolongerbearsyouanyill——will.

Iamevenconvincedthatitwillbeagreatpleasureforhertoseeyouthus，unexpectedly."

"Really？"

"Yes，really！"

"Well，then！letusgoalong.Iamdelighted.Yousee，thismisunderstandingwasveryunpleasantforme."

TheysetouttogethertowardtheSaint—Lazarestation，arminarm.Theymadethetripinsilence.Bothseemedabsorbedindeepmeditation.

Seatedinthecar，oneoppositetheother，theylookedateachotherwithoutspeaking，eachobservingthattheotherwaspale.

Thentheyleftthetrainandoncemorelinkedarmsasiftouniteagainstsomecommondanger.Afterawalkofafewminutestheystopped，alittleoutofbreath，beforeBondel’shouse.Bondelusheredhisfriendintotheparlor，calledtheservant，andasked："Ismadameathome？"

"Yes，monsieur."

"Pleaseaskhertocomedownatonce."

Theydroppedintotwoarmchairsandwaited.Bothwerefilledwiththesamelongingtoescapebeforetheappearanceofthemuch—fearedperson.

Awell—known，heavytreadcouldbehearddescendingthestairs.Ahandmovedtheknob，andbothmenwatchedthebrasshandleturn.Thenthedooropenedwide，andMadameBondelstoppedandlookedtoseewhowastherebeforesheentered.Shelooked，blushed，trembled，retreatedastep，thenstoodmotionless，hercheeksaflameandherhandsrestingagainstthesidesofthedoorframe.

Tancret，aspaleasifabouttofaint，hadarisen，lettingfallhishat，whichrolledalongthefloor.Hestammeredout："MonDieu——madame——itisI——Ithought——Iventured——Iwassosorry——"

Asshedidnotanswer，hecontinued："Willyouforgiveme？"

Then，quickly，carriedawaybysomeimpulse，shewalkedtowardhimwithherhandsoutstretched;andwhenhehadtaken，pressed，andheldthesetwohands，shesaid，inatrembling，weaklittlevoice，whichwasnewtoherhusband：

"Ah！mydearfriend——howhappyIam！"

AndBondel，whowaswatchingthem，feltanicychillrunoverhim，asifhehadbeendippedinacoldbath.

FOUNDONADROWNEDMAN

Madame，youaskmewhetherIamlaughingatyou？Youcannotbelievethatamanhasneverbeeninlove.Well，then，no，no，Ihaveneverloved，never！

Whyisthis？Ireallycannottell.Ihaveneverexperiencedthatintoxicationoftheheartwhichwecalllove！NeverhaveIlivedinthatdream，inthatexaltation，inthatstateofmadnessintowhichtheimageofawomancastsus.Ihaveneverbeenpursued，haunted，rousedtofeverheat，lifteduptoParadisebythethoughtofmeeting，orbythepossessionof，abeingwhohadsuddenlybecomeformemoredesirablethananygoodfortune，morebeautifulthananyothercreature，ofmoreconsequencethanthewholeworld！Ihaveneverwept，Ihaveneversufferedonaccountofanyofyou.Ihavenotpassedmynightssleepless，whilethinkingofher.Ihavenoexperienceofwakingthoughtsbrightwiththoughtandmemoriesofher.Ihaveneverknownthewildraptureofhopebeforeherarrival，orthedivinesadnessofregretwhenshewentfromme，leavingbehindheradelicateodorofvioletpowder.

Ihaveneverbeeninlove.

Ihavealsooftenaskedmyselfwhythisis.AndtrulyIcanscarcelytell.NeverthelessIhavefoundsomereasonsforit;buttheyareofametaphysicalcharacter，andperhapsyouwillnotbeabletoappreciatethem.

IsupposeIamtoocriticalofwomentosubmittotheirfascination.I

askyoutoforgivemeforthisremark.IwillexplainwhatImean.Ineverycreaturethereisamoralbeingandaphysicalbeing.Inordertolove，itwouldbenecessaryformetofindaharmonybetweenthesetwobeingswhichIhaveneverfound.Onealwayspredominates;sometimesthemoral，sometimesthephysical.

Theintellectwhichwehavearighttorequireinawoman，inordertoloveher，isnotthesameasthevirileintellect.Itismore，anditisless.Awomanmustbefrank，delicate，sensitive，refined，impressionable.Shehasnoneedofeitherpowerorinitiativeinthought，butshemusthavekindness，elegance，tenderness，coquetryandthatfacultyofassimilationwhich，inalittlewhile，raiseshertoanequalitywithhimwhosharesherlife.Hergreatestqualitymustbetact，thatsubtlesensewhichistothemindwhattouchistothebody.

Itrevealstoherathousandlittlethings，contours，anglesandformsontheplaneoftheintellectual.

Veryfrequentlyprettywomenhavenotintellecttocorrespondwiththeirpersonalcharms.Now，theslightestlackofharmonystrikesmeandpainsmeatthefirstglance.Infriendshipthisisnotofimportance.

Friendshipisacompactinwhichonefairlysharesdefectsandmerits.

Wemayjudgeoffriends，whethermanorwoman，givingthemcreditforwhatisgood，andoverlookingwhatisbadinthem，appreciatingthemattheirjustvalue，whilegivingourselvesuptoanintimate，intenseandcharmingsympathy.

Inordertolove，onemustbeblind，surrenderone’sselfabsolutely，seenothing，questionnothing，understandnothing.Onemustadoretheweaknessaswellasthebeautyofthebelovedobject，renouncealljudgment，allreflection，allperspicacity.

Iamincapableofsuchblindnessandrebelatunreasoningsubjugation.

Thisisnotall.Ihavesuchahighandsubtleideaofharmonythatnothingcaneverfulfillmyideal.Butyouwillcallmeamadman.

Listentome.Awoman，inmyopinion，mayhaveanexquisitesoulandcharmingbodywithoutthatbodyandthatsoulbeinginperfectharmonywithoneanother.Imeanthatpersonswhohavenosesmadeinacertainshapeshouldnotbeexpectedtothinkinacertainfashion.Thefathavenorighttomakeuseofthesamewordsandphrasesasthethin.You，whohaveblueeyes，madame，cannotlookatlifeandjudgeofthingsandeventsasifyouhadblackeyes.Theshadeofyoureyesshouldcorrespond，byasortoffatality，withtheshadeofyourthought.Inperceivingthesethings，Ihavethescentofabloodhound.Laughifyoulike，butitisso.

Andyet，onceIimaginedthatIwasinloveforanhour，foraday.

Ihadfoolishlyyieldedtotheinfluenceofsurroundingcircumstances.

IallowedmyselftobebeguiledbyamirageofDawn.Wouldyoulikemetotellyouthisshortstory？

Imet，oneevening，apretty，enthusiasticlittlewomanwhotookapoeticfancytospendanightwithmeinaboatonariver.Iwouldhavepreferredaroomandabed;however，Iconsentedtotheriverandtheboat.

ItwasinthemonthofJune.Myfaircompanionchoseamoonlightnightinorderthebettertostimulateherimagination.

Wehaddinedatariversideinnandsetoutintheboataboutteno’clock.Ithoughtitaratherfoolishkindofadventure，butasmycompanionpleasedmeIdidnotworryaboutit.Isatdownontheseatfacingher;Iseizedtheoars，andoffwestarred.

Icouldnotdenythatthescenewaspicturesque.Weglidedpastawoodedislefullofnightingales，andthecurrentcarriedusrapidlyovertherivercoveredwithsilveryripples.Thetreetoadsutteredtheirshrill，monotonouscry;thefrogscroakedinthegrassbytheriver’sbank，andthelappingofthewaterasitflowedonmadearoundusakindofconfusedmurmuralmostimperceptible，disquieting，andgaveusavaguesensationofmysteriousfear.

Thesweetcharmofwarmnightsandofstreamsglitteringinthemoonlightpenetratedus.Itwasdelightfultobealiveandtofloatalongthus，andtodreamandtofeelatone’ssideasympatheticandbeautifulyoungwoman.

Iwassomewhataffected，somewhatagitated，somewhatintoxicatedbythepalebrightnessofthenightandtheconsciousnessofmyproximitytoalovelywoman.

"Comeandsitbesideme，"shesaid.

Iobeyed.

Shewenton：

"Recitesomepoetryforme."

Thisappearedtoberathertoomuch.Ideclined;shepersisted.Shecertainlywantedtoplaythegame，tohaveawholeorchestraofsentiment，fromthemoontotherhymesofpoets.IntheendIhadtoyield，and，asifinmockery，IrepeatedtoheracharminglittlepoembyLouisBouilhet，ofwhichthefollowingarethelastverses：

"IhatethepoetwhowithtearfuleyeMurmurssomenamewhilegazingtow’rdsastar，Whoseesnomagicintheearthorsky，UnlessLizetteorNinonbenotfar.

"ThebardwhoinallNaturenothingseesDivine，unlessapetticoathetiesAmorouslytothebranchesofthetreesOrnightcaptothegrass，isscarcelywise.

"HehasnotheardtheEternal’sthundertone，ThevoiceofNatureinhervariousmoods，Whocannottreadthedimravinesalone，Andofnowomandreammidwhisperingwoods."

Iexpectedsomereproaches.Nothingofthesort.Shemurmured：

"Howtrueitis！"

Iwasastonished.Hadsheunderstood？

Ourboathadgraduallyapproachedthebankandbecomeentangledinthebranchesofawillowwhichimpededitsprogress.Iplacedmyarmroundmycompanion’swaist，andverygentlyapproachedmylipstowardsherneck.Butsherepulsedmewithanabrupt，angrymovement.

"Havedone，pray！Howrudeyouare！"

Itriedtodrawhertowardme.Sheresisted，caughtholdofthetree，andwasnearflingingusbothintothewater.Ideemeditprudenttoceasemyimportunities.

Shesaid：

"Iwouldrathercapsizeyou.Ifeelsohappy.Iwanttodream.Thisissodelightful."Then，inaslightlymalicioustone，sheadded：

"Haveyoualreadyforgottentheversesyourepeatedtomejustnow？"

Shewasright.Ibecamesilent.

Shewenton：

"Come，now！"

AndIpliedtheoarsoncemore.

Ibegantothinkthenightlongandmypositionridiculous.

Mycompanionsaidtome：

"Willyoumakemeapromise？"

"Yes.Whatisit？"

"Toremainquiet，well—behavedanddiscreet，ifIpermityou——"

"What？Saywhatyoumean！"

"HereiswhatImean：Iwanttoliedownonmybackatthebottomoftheboatwithyoubymyside.ButIforbidyoutotouchme，toembraceme——

inshort——tocaressme."

Ipromised.Shesaidwarningly：

"Ifyoumove，’I’llcapsizetheboat."

Andthenwelaydownsidebyside，oureyesturnedtowardthesky，whiletheboatglidedslowlythroughthewater.Wewererockedbyitsgentlemotion.Theslightsoundsofthenightcametousmoredistinctlyinthebottomoftheboat，sometimescausingustostart.AndIfeltspringingupwithinmeastrange，poignantemotion，aninfinitetenderness，somethinglikeanirresistibleimpulsetoopenmyarmsinordertoembrace，toopenmyheartinordertolove，t