第6章

Theold"Sauvage"stoodbeforeherruineddwelling，armedwithhergun，herson’sgun，forfearoneofthosemenmightescape.

Whenshesawthatitwasended，shethrewherweaponintothebrasier.

Aloudreportfollowed.

Peoplewerecoming，thepeasants，thePrussians.

Theyfoundthewomanseatedonthetrunkofatree，calmandsatisfied.

AGermanofficer，butspeakingFrenchlikeasonofFrance，demanded：

"Whereareyoursoldiers？"

Shereachedherbonyarmtowardtheredheapoffirewhichwasalmostoutandansweredwithastrongvoice：

"There！"

Theycrowdedroundher.ThePrussianasked：

"Howdidittakefire？"

"ItwasIwhosetitonfire."

Theydidnotbelieveher，theythoughtthatthesuddendisasterhadmadehercrazy.Whileallpressedroundandlistened，shetoldthestoryfrombeginningtoend，fromthearrivalofthelettertothelastshriekofthemenwhowereburnedwithherhouse，andneveromittedadetail.

Whenshehadfinished，shedrewtwopiecesofpaperfromherpocket，and，inordertodistinguishthembythelastgleamsofthefire，sheagainadjustedherspectacles.Thenshesaid，showingone：

"That，thatisthedeathofVictor."Showingtheother，sheadded，indicatingtheredruinswithabendofthehead："Herearetheirnames，sothatyoucanwritehome."Shequietlyheldasheetofpaperouttotheofficer，whoheldherbytheshoulders，andshecontinued：

"Youmustwritehowithappened，andyoumustsaytotheirmothersthatitwasIwhodidthat，VictoireSimon，laSauvage！Donotforget."

TheofficershoutedsomeordersinGerman.Theyseizedher，theythrewheragainstthewallsofherhouse，stillhot.Thentwelvemendrewquicklyupbeforeher，attwentypaces.Shedidnotmove.Shehadunderstood;shewaited.

Anorderrangout，followedinstantlybyalongreport.Abelatedshotwentoffbyitself，aftertheothers.

Theoldwomandidnotfall.Shesankasthoughtheyhadcutoffherlegs.

ThePrussianofficerapproached.Shewasalmostcutintwo，andinherwitheredhandsheheldherletterbathedwithblood.

MyfriendServaladded：

"ItwasbywayofreprisalthattheGermansdestroyedthechateauofthedistrict，whichbelongedtome."

Ithoughtofthemothersofthosefourfinefellowsburnedinthathouseandofthehorribleheroismofthatothermothershotagainstthewall.

AndIpickedupalittlestone，stillblackenedbytheflames.

EPIPHANY

IshouldsayIdidrememberthatEpiphanysupperduringthewar！

exclaimedCountdeGarens，anarmycaptain.

Iwasquartermasterofcavalryatthetime，andforafortnighthadbeenscoutinginfrontoftheGermanadvanceguard.TheeveningbeforewehadcutdownafewUhlansandhadlostthreemen，oneofwhomwasthatpoorlittleRaudeville.YourememberJosephdeRaudeville，ofcourse.

Well，onthatdaymycommandingofficerorderedmetotakesixtroopersandtogoandoccupythevillageofPorterin，wheretherehadbeenfiveskirmishesinthreeweeks，andtoholditallnight.Therewerenottwentyhousesleftstanding，notadozenhousesinthatwasps’nest.SoItooktentroopersandsetoutaboutfouro’clock，andatfiveo’clock，whileitwasstillpitchdark，wereachedthefirsthousesofPorterin.

IhaltedandorderedMarchas——youknowPierredeMarchas，whoafterwardmarriedlittleMartel—Auvelin，thedaughteroftheMarquisdeMartel—

Auvelin——togoaloneintothevillage，andtoreporttomewhathesaw.

Ihadselectednothingbutvolunteers，allmenofgoodfamily.Itispleasantwhenondutynottobeforcedtobeonintimatetermswithunpleasantfellows.ThisMarchaswasassmartaspossible，cunningasafoxandsuppleasaserpent.HecouldscentthePrussiansasadogcanscentahare，coulddiscoverfoodwhereweshouldhavediedofhungerwithouthim，andobtainedinformationfromeverybody，andinformationwhichwasalwaysreliable，withincrediblecleverness.

Intenminuteshereturned."Allright，"hesaid;"therehavebeennoPrussianshereforthreedays.Itisasinisterplace，isthisvillage.

IhavebeentalkingtoaSisterofMercy，whoiscaringforfourorfivewoundedmeninanabandonedconvent."

Iorderedthemtorideon，andweenteredtheprincipalstreet.Ontherightandleftwecouldvaguelyseerooflesswalls，whichwerehardlyvisibleintheprofounddarkness.Hereandtherealightwasburninginaroom;somefamilyhadremainedtokeepitshousestandingaswellastheywereable;afamilyofbraveorofpoorpeople.Therainbegantofall，afine，icycoldrain，whichfrozeasitfellonourcloaks.

Thehorsesstumbledagainststones，againstbeams，againstfurniture.

Marchasguidedus，goingbeforeusonfoot，andleadinghishorsebythebridle.

"Whereareyoutakingusto？"Iaskedhim.Andhereplied："Ihaveaplaceforustolodgein，andararegoodone."Andwepresentlystoppedbeforeasmallhouse，evidentlybelongingtosomeproprietorofthemiddleclass.Itstoodonthestreet，wasquiteinclosed，andhadagardenintherear.

Marchasforcedopenthelockbymeansofabigstonewhichhepickedupnearthegardengate;thenhemountedthesteps，smashedinthefrontdoorwithhisfeetandshoulders，litabitofwaxcandle，whichhewasneverwithout，andwentbeforeusintothecomfortableapartmentsofsomerichprivateindividual，guidinguswithadmirableassurance，asifhelivedinthishousewhichhenowsawforthefirsttime.

Twotroopersremainedoutsidetotakecareofourhorses，andMarchassaidtostoutPonderel，whofollowedhim："Thestablesmustbeontheleft;Isawthataswecamein;goandputtheanimalsupthere，forwedonotneedthem";andthen，turningtome，hesaid："Giveyourorders，confounditall！"

Thisfellowalwaysastonishedme，andIrepliedwithalaugh："Iwillpostmysentinelsatthecountryapproachesandwillreturntoyouhere."

"Howmanymenareyougoingtotake？"

"Five.Theotherswillrelievethematfiveo’clockintheevening."

"Verywell.Leavemefourtolookafterprovisions，todothecookingandtosetthetable.Iwillgoandfindoutwherethewineishidden."

Iwentoff，toreconnoitrethedesertedstreetsuntiltheyendedintheopencountry，soastopostmysentriesthere.

HalfanhourlaterIwasback，andfoundMarchaslounginginagreateasy—chair，thecoveringofwhichhehadtakenoff，fromloveofluxury，ashesaid.Hewaswarminghisfeetatthefireandsmokinganexcellentcigar，whoseperfumefilledtheroom.Hewasalone，hiselbowsrestingonthearmsofthechair，hisheadsunkbetweenhisshoulders，hischeeksflushed，hiseyesbright，andlookingdelighted.

Iheardthenoiseofplatesanddishesinthenextroom，andMarchassaidtome，smilinginacontentedmanner："Thisisfamous;Ifoundthechampagneundertheflightofstepsoutside，thebrandy——fiftybottlesoftheveryfinestinthekitchengardenunderapeartree，whichdidnotseemtometobequitestraightwhenIlookedatitbythelightofmylantern.Asforsolids，wehavetwofowls，agoose，aduck，andthreepigeons.Theyarebeingcookedatthismoment.Itisadelightfuldistrict."

Isatdownoppositehim，andthefireinthegratewasburningmynoseandcheeks."Wheredidyoufindthiswood？"Iasked."Splendidwood，"

hereplied."Theowner’scarriage.Itisthepaintwhichiscausingallthisflame，anessenceofpunchandvarnish.Acapitalhouse！"

Ilaughed，forIsawthecreaturewasfunny，andhewenton："FancythisbeingtheEpiphany！Ihavehadabeanputintothegoosedressing;butthereisnoqueen;itisreallyveryannoying！"AndIrepeatedlikeanecho："Itisannoying，butwhatdoyouwantmetodointhematter？"

"Tofindsome，ofcourse.""Somewomen.Women？——youmustbemad？""I

managedtofindthebrandyunderthepeartree，andthechampagneunderthesteps;andyettherewasnothingtoguideme，whileasforyou，apetticoatisasurebait.Goandlook，oldfellow."

Helookedsograve，soconvinced，thatIcouldnottellwhetherhewasjokingornot，andsoIreplied："Lookhere，Marchas，areyouhavingajokewithme？""Ineverjokeonduty.""Butwherethedevildoyouexpectmetofindanywomen？""Whereyoulike;theremustbetwoorthreeremainingintheneighborhood，soferretthemoutandbringthemhere."

Igotup，foritwastoohotinfrontofthefire，andMarchaswentoff：

"Doyouwantanidea？""Yes.""Goandseethepriest.""Thepriest？

Whatfor？""Askhimtosupper，andbeghimtobringawomanwithhim."

"Thepriest！Awoman！Ha！ha！ha！"

ButMarchascontinuedwithextraordinarygravity："Iamnotlaughing;goandfindthepriestandtellhimhowwearesituated，and，ashemustbehorriblydull，hewillcome.Buttellhimthatwewantonewomanatleast，alady，ofcourse，sincewe，areallmenoftheworld.Heissuretoknowhisfemaleparishionersonthetipsofhisfingers，andifthereisonetosuitus，andyoumanageitwell，hewillsuggesthertoyou."

"Come，come，Marchas，whatareyouthinkingof？""MydearGarens，youcandothisquitewell.Itwillevenbeveryfunny.Wearewellbred，byJove！andwewillputonourmostdistinguishedmannersandourgrandeststyle.Telltheabbewhoweare，makehimlaugh，softenhisheart，coaxhimandpersuadehim！""No，itisimpossible."

Hedrewhischairclosetomine，andasheknewmyspecialweakness，thescampcontinued："Justthinkwhataswaggeringthingitwillbetodoandhowamusingtotellabout;thewholearmywilltalkaboutit，anditwillgiveyouafamousreputation."

Ihesitated，fortheadventurerathertemptedme，andhepersisted：

"Come，mylittleGarens.Youaretheheadofthisdetachment，andyoualonecangoandcallontheheadofthechurchinthisneighborhood.

Ibegofyoutogo，andIpromiseyouthatafterthewarIwillrelatethewholeaffairinverseintheRevuedeDeuxMondes.Youowethismuchtoyourmen，foryouhavemadethemmarchenoughduringthelastmonth."

Igotupatlastandasked："Whereisthepriest’shouse？""Takethesecondturningattheendofthestreet，youwillseeanavenue，andattheendoftheavenueyouwillfindthechurch.Theparsonageisbesideit."AsIwentout，hecalledout："Tellhimthebilloffare，tomakehimhungry！"

Idiscoveredtheecclesiastic’slittlehousewithoutanydifficulty;itwasbythesideofalarge，uglybrickchurch.Iknockedatthedoorwithmyfist，astherewasneitherbellnorknocker，andaloudvoicefrominsideasked："Whoisthere？"TowhichIreplied："Aquartermasterofhussars."

Iheardthenoiseofboltsandofakeybeingturned，andfoundmyselffacetofacewithatallpriestwithalargestomach，thechestofaprizefighter，formidablehandsprojectingfromturned—upsleeves，aredface，andthelookofakindman.Igavehimamilitarysaluteandsaid：

"Good—day，MonsieurleCure."

Hehadfearedasurprise，somemarauders’ambush，andhesmiledashereplied："Good—day，myfriend;comein."Ifollowedhimintoasmallroomwitharedtiledfloor，inwhichasmallfirewasburning，verydifferenttoMarchas’furnace，andhegavemeachairandsaid："WhatcanIdoforyou？""Monsieur，allowmefirstofalltointroducemyself";andIgavehimmycard，whichhetookandreadhalfaloud："LeComtedeGarens."

Icontinued："Thereareelevenofushere，Monsieurl’Abbe，fiveonpicketduty，andsixinstalledatthehouseofanunknowninhabitant.

Thenamesofthesixare：Garens，myself;PierredeMarchas，LudovicdePonderel，Barond’Streillis，KarlMassouligny，thepainter’sson，andJosephHerbon，ayoungmusician.Ihavecometoaskyou，intheirnameandmyown，todousthehonorofsuppingwithus.ItisanEpiphanysupper，MonsieurleCure，andweshouldliketomakeitalittlecheerful."

Thepriestsmiledandmurmured："Itseemstometobehardlyasuitableoccasionforamusingone’sself."AndIreplied："Wearefightingduringtheday，monsieur.Fourteenofourcomradeshavebeenkilledinamonth，andthreefellaslateasyesterday.Itiswartime.Westakeourlifeateverymoment;havewenot，therefore，therighttoamuseourselvesfreely？WeareFrenchmen，weliketolaugh，andwecanlaugheverywhere.

Ourfatherslaughedonthescaffold！Thiseveningweshouldliketocheerourselvesupalittle，likegentlemen，andnotlikesoldiers;youunderstandme，Ihope.Arewewrong？"

Herepliedquickly："Youarequiteright，myfriend，andIacceptyourinvitationwithgreatpleasure."Thenhecalledout："Hermance！"

Anoldbent，wrinkled，horriblepeasantwomanappearedandsaid："Whatdoyouwant？""Ishallnotdineathome，mydaughter.""Whereareyougoingtodinethen？""Withsomegentlemen，thehussars."

Ifeltinclinedtosay："Bringyourservantwithyou，"justtoseeMarchas’face，butIdidnotventure，andcontinued："Doyouknowanyoneamongyourparishioners，maleorfemale，whomIcouldinviteaswell？"

Hehesitated，reflected，andthensaid：，"No，Idonotknowanybody！"

Ipersisted："Nobody！Come，monsieur，think;itwouldbeverynicetohavesomeladies，Imeantosay，somemarriedcouples！Iknownothingaboutyourparishioners.Thebakerandhiswife，thegrocer，the——the——

the——watchmaker——the——shoemaker——the——thedruggistwithMrs.Druggist.

Wehaveagoodspreadandplentyofwine，andweshouldbeenchantedtoleavepleasantrecollectionsofourselveswiththepeoplehere."

Thepriestthoughtagainforalongtime，andthensaidresolutely："No，thereisnobody."Ibegantolaugh."ByJove，MonsieurleCure，itisveryannoyingnottohaveanEpiphanyqueen，forwehavethebean.Come，think.Istherenotamarriedmayor，oramarrieddeputymayor，oramarriedmunicipalcouncillororaschoolmaster？""No，alltheladieshavegoneaway.""What，istherenotinthewholeplacesomegoodtradesman’swifewithhergoodtradesman，towhomwemightgivethispleasure，foritwouldbeapleasuretothem，agreatpleasureunderpresentcircumstances？"

But，suddenly，thecurebegantolaugh，andlaughedsoviolentlythathefairlyshook，andpresentlyexclaimed："Ha！ha！ha！Ihavegotwhatyouwant，yes.Ihavegotwhatyouwant！Ha！ha！ha！Wewilllaughandenjoyourselves，mychildren;wewillhavesomefun.Howpleasedtheladieswillbe，Isay，howdelightedtheywillbe！Ha！ha！Whereareyoustaying？"

Idescribedthehouse，andheunderstoodwhereitwas."Verygood，"hesaid."ItbelongstoMonsieurBertin—Lavaille.Iwillbethereinhalfanhour，withfourladies！Ha！ha！ha！fourladies！"

Hewentoutwithme，stilllaughing，andleftme，repeating："Thatiscapital;inhalfanhouratBertin—Lavaille’shouse."

Ireturnedquickly，verymuchastonishedandverymuchpuzzled."Coversforhowmany？"Marchasasked，assoonashesawme."Eleven.Therearesixofushussars，besidesthepriestandfourladies."Hewasthunderstruck，andIwastriumphant.Herepeated："Fourladies！Didyousay，fourladies？""Isaidfourwomen.""Realwomen？""Realwomen."

"Well，acceptmycompliments！""Iwill，forIdeservethem."

Hegotoutofhisarmchair，openedthedoor，andIsawabeautifulwhitetableclothonalongtable，roundwhichthreehussarsinblueapronsweresettingouttheplatesandglasses."Therearesomewomencoming！"

Marchascried.Andthethreemenbegantodanceandtocheerwithalltheirmight.

Everythingwasready，andwewerewaiting.Wewaitedfornearlyanhour，whileadelicioussmellofroastpoultrypervadedthewholehouse.Atlast，however，aknockagainsttheshuttersmadeusalljumpupatthesamemoment.StoutPonderelrantoopenthedoor，andinlessthanaminutealittleSisterofMercyappearedinthedoorway.Shewasthin，wrinkledandtimid，andsuccessivelygreetedthefourbewilderedhussarswhosawherenter.Behindher，thenoiseofstickssoundedonthetiledfloorinthevestibule，andassoonasshehadcomeintothedrawing—

room，Isawthreeoldheadsinwhitecaps，followingeachotheronebyone，whocamein，swayingwithdifferentmovements，oneincliningtotheright，whiletheotherinclinedtotheleft.Andthreeworthywomenappeared，limping，draggingtheirlegsbehindthem，crippledbyillnessanddeformedthrougholdage，threeinfirmoldwomen，pastservice，theonlythreepensionerswhowereabletowalkinthehomepresidedoverbySisterSaint—Benedict.

Shehadturnedroundtoherinvalids，fullofanxietyforthem，andthen，seeingmyquartermaster’sstripes，shesaidtome："Iammuchobligedtoyouforthinkingofthesepoorwomen.Theyhaveverylittlepleasureinlife，andyouareatthesametimegivingthemagreattreatanddoingthemagreathonor."

Isawthepriest，whohadremainedinthedarkhallway，andwaslaughingheartily，andIbegantolaughinmyturn，especiallywhenIsawMarchas’

face.Then，motioningthenuntotheseats，Isaid：

"Sitdown，sister;weareveryproudandveryhappythatyouhaveacceptedourunpretentiousinvitation."

Shetookthreechairswhichstoodagainstthewall，setthembeforethefire，ledherthreeoldwomentothem，settledthemonthem，tooktheirsticksandshawls，whichsheputintoacorner，andthen，pointingtothefirst，athinwomanwithanenormousstomach，whowasevidentlysufferingfromthedropsy，shesaid："ThisisMotherPaumelle;whosehusbandwaskilledbyfallingfromaroof，andwhosesondiedinAfrica;sheissixtyyearsold."Thenshepointedtoanother，atallwoman，whoseheadtrembledunceasingly："ThisisMotherJean—Jean，whoissixty—seven.Sheisnearlyblind，forherfacewasterriblysingedinafire，andherrightlegwashalfburnedoff."

Thenshepointedtothethird，asortofdwarf，withprotruding，round，stupideyes，whichsherolledincessantlyinalldirections，"ThisisLaPutois，anidiot.Sheisonlyforty—four."

IbowedtothethreewomenasifIwerebeingpresentedtosomeroyalhighnesses，andturningtothepriest，Isaid："Youareanexcellentman，Monsieurl’Abbe，towhomallofushereoweadebtofgratitude."

Everybodywaslaughing，infact，exceptMarchas，whoseemedfurious，andjustthenKarlMassoulignycried："SisterSaint—Benedict，supperisonthetable！"

Imadehergofirstwiththepriest，thenIhelpedupMotherPaumelle，whosearmItookanddraggedherintothenextroom，whichwasnoeasytask，forsheseemedheavierthanalumpofiron.

StoutPonderelgavehisarmtoMotherJean—Jean，whobemoanedhercrutch，andlittleJosephHerbontooktheidiot，LaPutois，tothedining—room，whichwasfilledwiththeodoroftheviands.

Assoonaswewereoppositeourplates，thesisterclappedherhandsthreetimes，and，withtheprecisionofsoldierspresentingarms，thewomenmadearapidsignofthecross，andthenthepriestslowlyrepeatedtheBenedictusinLatin.Thenwesatdown，andthetwofowlsappeared，broughtinbyMarchas，whochosetowaitattable，ratherthantositdownasaguesttothisridiculousrepast.

ButIcried："Bringthechampagneatonce！"andacorkflewoutwiththenoiseofapistol，andinspiteoftheresistanceofthepriestandofthekindsister，thethreehussars，sittingbythesideofthethreeinvalids，emptiedtheirthreefullglassesdowntheirthroatsbyforce.

Massouligny，whopossessedthefacultyofmakinghimselfathome，andofbeingongoodtermswitheveryone，whereverhewas，madelovetoMotherPaumelleinthedrollestmanner.Thedropsicalwoman，whohadretainedhercheerfulnessinspiteofhermisfortunes，answeredhimbanteringlyinahighfalsettovoicewhichappearedasifitwereputon，andshelaughedsoheartilyatherneighbor’sjokesthatitwasquitealarming.

LittleHerbonhadseriouslyundertakenthetaskofmakingtheidiotdrunk，andBarond’Streillis，whosewitswerenotalwaysparticularlysharp，wasquestioningoldJean—Jeanaboutthelife，thehabits，andtherulesofthehospital.

ThenunsaidtoMassoulignyinconsternation：

"Oh！oh！youwillmakeherill;praydonotmakeherlaughlikethat，monsieur.Oh！monsieur——"ThenshegotupandrushedatHerbontotakefromhimafullglasswhichhewashastilyemptyingdownLaPutois’

throat，whilethepriestshookwithlaughter，andsaidtothesister：

"Nevermind;justthisonce，itwillnothurtthem.Doleavethemalone."

Afterthetwofowlstheyatetheduck，whichwasflankedbythethreepigeonsandtheblackbird，andthenthegooseappeared，smoking，golden—

brown，anddiffusingawarmodorofhot，brownedroastmeat.LaPaumelle，whowasgettinglively，clappedherhands;LaJean—Jeanleftoffansweringthebaron’snumerousquestions，andLaPutoisuttered.

gruntsofpleasure，halfcriesandhalfsighs，aslittlechildrendowhenoneshowsthemcandy."Allowmetotakechargeofthisanimal，"thecuresaid."Iunderstandthesesortofoperationsbetterthanmostpeople."

"Certainly，Monsieurl’Abbe，"andthesistersaid："Howwoulditbetoopenthewindowalittle？Theyaretoowarm，andIamafraidtheywillbeill."

IturnedtoMarchas："Openthewindowforaminute."Hedidso;thecoldouterairasitcameinmadethecandlesflare，andthesteamfromthegoose，whichthecurewasscientificallycarving，withatablenapkinroundhisneck，whirlabout.Wewatchedhimdoingit，withoutspeakingnow，forwewereinterestedinhisattractivehandiwork，andseizedwithrenewedappetiteatthesightofthatenormousgolden—brownbird，whoselimbsfelloneafteranotherintothebrowngravyatthebottomofthedish.Atthatmoment，inthemidstofthatgreedysilencewhichkeptusallattentive，thedistantreportofashotcameinattheopenwindow.

Istartedtomyfeetsoquicklythatmychairfelldownbehindme，andI

shouted："Tosaddle，allofyou！You，Marches，taketwomenandgoandseewhatitis.Ishallexpectyoubackhereinfiveminutes."Andwhilethethreeriderswentoffatfullgallopthroughthenight，Igotintothesaddlewithmythreeremaininghussars，infrontofthestepsofthevilla，whilethecure，thesisterandthethreeoldwomenshowedtheirfrightenedfacesatthewindow.

Weheardnothingmore，exceptthebarkingofadoginthedistance.Therainhadceased，anditwascold，verycold，andsoonIheardthegallopofahorse，ofasinglehorse，comingback.ItwasMarchas，andIcalledouttohim："Well？""Itisnothing;Francoishaswoundedanoldpeasantwhorefusedtoanswerhischallenge：’Whogoesthere？’andwhocontinuedtoadvanceinspiteoftheordertokeepoff;buttheyarebringinghimhere，andweshallseewhatisthematter."

Igaveordersforthehorsestobeputbackinthestable，andIsentmytwosoldierstomeettheothers，andreturnedtothehouse.Thenthecure，Marchas，andItookamattressintotheroomtolaythewoundedmanon;thesistertoreupatablenapkininordertomakelint，whilethethreefrightenedwomenremainedhuddledupinacorner.

SoonIheardtherattleofsabresontheroad，andItookacandletoshowalighttothemenwhowerereturning;andtheysoonappeared，carryingthatinert，soft，long，sinisterobjectwhichahumanbodybecomeswhenlifenolongersustainsit.

Theyputthewoundedmanonthemattressthathadbeenpreparedforhim，andIsawatthefirstglancethathewasdying.Hehadthedeathrattleandwasspittingupblood，whichranoutofthecornersofhismouthateverygasp.Themanwascoveredwithblood！Hischeeks，hisbeard，hishair，hisneckandhisclothesseemedtohavebeensoaked，tohavebeendippedinaredtub;andthatbloodstucktohim，andhadbecomeadullcolorwhichwashorribletolookat.

Thewoundedman，wrappedupinalargeshepherd’scloak，occasionallyopenedhisdull，vacanteyes，whichseemedstupidwithastonishment，likethoseofanimalswoundedbyasportsman，whichfallathisfeet，morethanhalfdeadalready，stupefiedwithterrorandsurprise.

Thecureexclaimed："Ah，itisoldPlacide，theshepherdfromLesMoulins.Heisdeaf，poorman，andheardnothing.Ah！Oh，God！theyhavekilledtheunhappyman！"Thesisterhadopenedhisblouseandshirt，andwaslookingatalittleblueholeinhischest，whichwasnotbleedinganymore."Thereisnothingtobedone，"shesaid.

Theshepherdwasgaspingterriblyandbringingupbloodwitheverylastbreath，andinhisthroat，totheverydepthofhislungs，theycouldhearanominousandcontinuedgurgling.Thecure，standinginfrontofhim，raisedhisrighthand，madethesignofthecross，andinaslowandsolemnvoicepronouncedtheLatinwordswhichpurifymen’ssouls，butbeforetheywerefinished，theoldman’sbodytrembledviolently，asifsomethinghadgivenwayinsidehim，andheceasedtobreathe.Hewasdead.

WhenIturnedround，Isawasightwhichwasevenmorehorriblethanthedeathstruggleofthisunfortunateman;thethreeoldwomenwerestandinguphuddledclosetogether，hideous，andgrimacingwithfearandhorror.

Iwentuptothem，andtheybegantouttershrillscreams，whileLaJean—

Jean，whoseburnedlegcouldnolongersupporther，felltothegroundatfulllength.

SisterSaint—Benedictleftthedeadman，ranuptoherinfirmoldwomen，andwithoutawordoralookforme，wrappedtheirshawlsroundthem，gavethemtheircrutches，pushedthemtothedoor，madethemgoout，anddisappearedwiththemintothedarknight.

IsawthatIcouldnotevenletahussaraccompanythem，forthemererattleofaswordwouldhavesentthemmadwithfear.

Thecurewasstilllookingatthedeadman;butatlastheturnedroundtomeandsaid：

"Oh！Whatahorriblething！"

THEMUSTACHE

CHATEAUDESOLLES，July30，1883.

MyDearLucy：

Ihavenonews.Weliveinthedrawing—room，lookingoutattherain.

Wecannotgooutinthisfrightfulweather，sowehavetheatricals.

Howstupidtheyare，mydear，thesedrawingentertainmentsintherepertoryofreallife！Allisforced，coarse，heavy.Thejokesarelikecannonballs，smashingeverythingintheirpassage.Nowit，nothingnatural，nosprightliness，noelegance.Theseliterarymen，intruth，knownothingofsociety.Theyareperfectlyignorantofhowpeoplethinkandtalkinourset.Idonotmindiftheydespiseourcustoms，ourconventionalities，butIdonotforgivethemfornotknowingthem.Whentheywanttobehumoroustheymakepunsthatwoulddoforabarrack;whentheytrytobejolly，theygiveusjokesthattheymusthavepickedupontheouterboulevardinthosebeerhousesartistsaresupposedtofrequent，whereonehasheardthesamestudents’jokesforfiftyyears.

SowehavetakentoTheatricals.Asweareonlytwowomen，myhusbandtakesthepartofasoubrette，and，inordertodothat，hehasshavedoffhismustache.Youcannotimagine，mydearLucy，howitchangeshim！

Inolongerrecognizehim—bydayoratnight.IfhedidnotletitgrowagainIthinkIshouldnolongerlovehim;helookssohorridlikethis.

Infact，amanwithoutamustacheisnolongeraman.Idonotcaremuchforabeard;italmostalwaysmakesamanlookuntidy.Butamustache，oh，amustacheisindispensabletoamanlyface.No，youwouldneverbelievehowtheselittlehairbristlesontheupperliparearelieftotheeyeandgoodinotherways.Ihavethoughtoverthematteragreatdealbuthardlydaretowritemythoughts.Wordslooksodifferentonpaperandthesubjectissodifficult，sodelicate，sodangerousthatitrequiresinfiniteskilltotackleit.

Well，whenmyhusbandappeared，shaven，IunderstoodatoncethatInevercouldfallinlovewithastrollingactornorapreacher，evenifitwereFatherDidon，themostcharmingofall！LaterwhenIwasalonewithhim（myhusband）itwasworsestill.Oh，mydearLucy，neverletyourselfbekissedbyamanwithoutamustache;theirkisseshavenoflavor，nonewhatever！Theynolongerhavethecharm，themellownessandthesnap—

yes，thesnap——ofarealkiss.Themustacheisthespice.

Imagineplacingtoyourlipsapieceofdry——ormoist——parchment.Thatisthekissofthemanwithoutamustache.Itisnotworthwhile.

Whencecomesthischarmofthemustache，willyoutellme？DoIknowmyself？Itticklesyourface，youfeelitapproachingyourmouthanditsendsalittleshiverthroughyoudowntothetipsofyourtoes.

Andonyourneck！Haveyoueverfeltamustacheonyourneck？Itintoxicatesyou，makesyoufeelcreepy，goestothetipsofyourfingers.

Youwriggle，shakeyourshoulders，tossbackyourhead.Youwishtogetawayandatthesametimetoremainthere;itisdelightful，butirritating.Buthowgooditis！

Alipwithoutamustacheislikeabodywithoutclothing;andonemustwearclothes，veryfew，ifyoulike，butstillsomeclothing.

Irecallasentence（utteredbyapolitician）whichhasbeenrunninginmymindforthreemonths.Myhusband，whokeepsupwiththenewspapers，readmeoneeveningaverysingularspeechbyourMinisterofAgriculture，whowascalledM.Meline.Hemayhavebeensupersededbythistime.Idonotknow.

Iwaspayingnoattention，butthenameMelinestruckme.Itrecalled，Idonotexactlyknowwhy，the’Scenesdelaviedeboheme’.Ithoughtitwasaboutsomegrisette.Thatshowshowscrapsofthespeechenteredmymind.ThisM.MelinewasmakingthisstatementtothepeopleofAmiens，Ibelieve，andIhaveeversincebeentryingtounderstandwhathemeant："Thereisnopatriotismwithoutagriculture！"Well，Ihavejustdiscoveredhismeaning，andIaffirminmyturnthatthereisnolovewithoutamustache.Whenyousayitthatwayitsoundscomical，doesitnot？

Thereisnolovewithoutamustache！

"Thereisnopatriotismwithoutagriculture，"saidM.Meline，andhewasright，thatminister;Inowunderstandwhy.

Fromaverydifferentpointofviewthemustacheisessential.Itgivescharactertotheface.Itmakesamanlookgentle，tender，violent，amonster，arake，enterprising！Thehairyman，whodoesnotshaveoffhiswhiskers，neverhasarefinedlook，forhisfeaturesareconcealed;andtheshapeofthejawandthechinbetraysagreatdealtothosewhounderstand.

Themanwithamustacheretainshisownpeculiarexpressionandhisrefinementatthesametime.

Andhowmanydifferentvarietiesofmustachesthereare！Sometimestheyaretwisted，curled，coquettish.Thoseseemtobechieflydevotedtowomen.

Sometimestheyarepointed，sharpasneedles，andthreatening.Thatkindpreferswine，horsesandwar.

Sometimestheyareenormous，overhanging，frightful.Thesebigonesgenerallyconcealafinedisposition，akindlinessthatbordersonweaknessandagentlenessthatsavorsoftimidity.

ButwhatIadoreaboveallinthemustacheisthatitisFrench，altogetherFrench.Itcamefromourancestors，theGauls，andhasremainedtheinsigniaofournationalcharacter.

Itisboastful，gallantandbrave.Itsipswinegracefullyandknowshowtolaughwithrefinement，whilethebroad—beardedjawsareclumsyineverythingtheydo.

Irecallsomethingthatmademeweepallmytearsandalso——Iseeitnow——mademeloveamustacheonaman’sface.

Itwasduringthewar，whenIwaslivingwithmyfather.Iwasayounggirlthen.Onedaytherewasaskirmishnearthechateau.Ihadheardthefiringofthecannonandoftheartilleryallthemorning，andthateveningaGermancolonelcameandtookuphisabodeinourhouse.Heleftthefollowingday.

Myfatherwasinformedthattherewereanumberofdeadbodiesinthefields.Hehadthembroughttoourplacesothattheymightbeburiedtogether.Theywerelaidallalongthegreatavenueofpinesasfastastheybroughtthemin，onbothsidesoftheavenue，andastheybegantosmellunpleasant，theirbodieswerecoveredwithearthuntilthedeeptrenchcouldbedug.Thusonesawonlytheirheadswhichseemedtoprotrudefromtheclayeyearthandwerealmostasyellow，withtheirclosedeyes.

Iwantedtoseethem.ButwhenIsawthosetworowsoffrightfulfaces，IthoughtIshouldfaint.However，Ibegantolookatthem，onebyone，tryingtoguesswhatkindofmenthesehadbeen.

Theuniformswereconcealedbeneaththeearth，andyetimmediately，yes，immediately，mydear，IrecognizedtheFrenchmenbytheirmustache！

Someofthemhadshavedontheverydayofthebattle，asthoughtheywishedtobeelegantuptothelast;othersseemedtohaveaweek’sgrowth，butallworetheFrenchmustache，veryplain，theproudmustachethatseemstosay："Donottakemeformybeardedfriend，littleone;I

amabrother."

AndIcried，oh，IcriedagreatdealmorethanIshouldifIhadnotrecognizedthem，thepoordeadfellows.

Itwaswrongofmetotellyouthis.NowIamsadandcannotchatteranylonger.Well，good—by，dearLucy.Isendyouaheartykiss.Longlivethemustache！

JEANNE.

MADAMEBAPTISTE

ThefirstthingIdidwastolookattheclockasIenteredthewaiting—

roomofthestationatLoubain，andIfoundthatIhadtowaittwohoursandtenminutesfortheParisexpress.

Ihadwalkedtwentymilesandfeltsuddenlytired.Notseeinganythingonthestationwallstoamuseme，Iwentoutsideandstoodthererackingmybrainstothinkofsomethingtodo.Thestreetwasakindofboulevard，plantedwithacacias，andoneithersidearowofhousesofvaryingshapeanddifferentstylesofarchitecture，housessuchasoneonlyseesinasmalltown，andascendedaslighthill，attheextremeendofwhichthereweresometrees，asthoughitendedinapark.

Fromtimetotimeacatcrossedthestreetandjumpedoverthegutterscarefully.Acursniffedateverytreeandhuntedforscrapsfromthekitchens，butIdidnotseeasinglehumanbeing，andIfeltlistlessanddisheartened.WhatcouldIdowithmyself？Iwasalreadythinkingoftheinevitableandinterminablevisittothesmallcafeattherailwaystation，whereIshouldhavetositoveraglassofundrinkablebeerandtheillegiblenewspaper，whenIsawafuneralprocessioncomingoutofasidestreetintotheoneinwhichIwas，andthesightofthehearsewasarelieftome.Itwould，atanyrate，givemesomethingtodofortenminutes.

Suddenly，however，mycuriositywasaroused.Thehearsewasfollowedbyeightgentlemen，oneofwhomwasweeping，whiletheotherswerechattingtogether，buttherewasnopriest，andIthoughttomyself：

"Thisisanon—religiousfuneral，"andthenIreflectedthatatownlikeLoubainmustcontainatleastahundredfreethinkers，whowouldhavemadeapointofmakingamanifestation.Whatcoulditbe，then？Therapidpaceoftheprocessionclearlyprovedthatthebodywastobeburiedwithoutceremony，and，consequently，withouttheinterventionoftheChurch.

Myidlecuriosityframedthemostcomplicatedsurmises，andasthehearsepassedme，astrangeideastruckme，whichwastofollowit，withtheeightgentlemen.Thatwouldtakeupmytimeforanhour，atleast，andI

accordinglywalkedwiththeothers，withasadlookonmyface，and，onseeingthis，thetwolastturnedroundinsurprise，andthenspoketoeachotherinalowvoice.

NodoubttheywereaskingeachotherwhetherIbelongedtothetown，andthentheyconsultedthetwoinfrontofthem，whostaredatmeinturn.

Thisclosescrutinyannoyedme，andtoputanendtoitIwentuptothem，and，afterbowing，Isaid：

"Ibegyourpardon，gentlemen，forinterruptingyourconversation，but，seeingacivilfuneral，Ihavefollowedit，althoughIdidnotknowthedeceasedgentlemanwhomyouareaccompanying."

"Itwasawoman，"oneofthemsaid.

Iwasmuchsurprisedathearingthis，andasked：

"Butitisacivilfuneral，isitnot？"

Theothergentleman，whoevidentlywishedtotellmeallaboutit，thensaid："Yesandno.Theclergyhaverefusedtoallowustheuseofthechurch."

OnhearingthisIutteredaprolonged"A—h！"ofastonishment.Icouldnotunderstanditatall，butmyobligingneighborcontinued：

"Itisratheralongstory.Thisyoungwomancommittedsuicide，andthatisthereasonwhyshecannotbeburiedwithanyreligiousceremony.

Thegentlemanwhoiswalkingfirst，andwhoiscrying，isherhusband."

Irepliedwithsomehesitation：

"Yousurpriseandinterestmeverymuch，monsieur.ShallIbeindiscreetifIaskyoutotellmethefactsofthecase？IfIamtroublingyou，forgetthatIhavesaidanythingaboutthematter."

Thegentlemantookmyarmfamiliarly.

"Notatall，notatall.Letuslingeralittlebehindtheothers，andI

willtellityou，althoughitisaverysadstory.Wehaveplentyoftimebeforegettingtothecemetery，thetreesofwhichyouseeupyonder，foritisastiffpullupthishill."

Andhebegan：

"Thisyoungwoman，MadamePaulHamot，wasthedaughterofawealthymerchantintheneighborhood，MonsieurFontanelle.Whenshewasamerechildofeleven，shehadashockingadventure;afootmanattackedherandshenearlydied.Aterriblecriminalcasewastheresult，andthemanwassentencedtopenalservitudeforlife.

"Thelittlegirlgrewup，stigmatizedbydisgrace，isolated，withoutanycompanions;andgrown—uppeoplewouldscarcelykissher，fortheythoughtthattheywouldsoiltheirlipsiftheytouchedherforehead，andshebecameasortofmonster，aphenomenontoallthetown.Peoplesaidtoeachotherinawhisper：’Youknow，littleFontanelle，’andeverybodyturnedawayinthestreetswhenshepassed.Herparentscouldnotevengetanursetotakeheroutforawalk，astheotherservantsheldalooffromher，asifcontactwithherwouldpoisoneverybodywhocamenearher.

"Itwaspitiabletoseethepoorchildgoandplayeveryafternoon.Sheremainedquitebyherself，standingbyhermaidandlookingattheotherchildrenamusingthemselves.Sometimes，yieldingtoanirresistibledesiretomixwiththeotherchildren，sheadvancedtimidly，withnervousgestures，andmingledwithagroup，withfurtivesteps，asifconsciousofherowndisgrace.Andimmediatelythemothers，auntsandnurseswouldcomerunningfromeveryseatandtakethechildrenentrustedtotheircarebythehandanddragthembrutallyaway.

"LittleFontanelleremainedisolated，wretched，withoutunderstandingwhatitmeant，andthenshebegantocry，nearlyheartbrokenwithgrief，andthensheusedtorunandhideherheadinhernurse’slap，sobbing.

"Asshegrewup，itwasworsestill.Theykeptthegirlsfromher，asifshewerestrickenwiththeplague.Rememberthatshehadnothingtolearn，nothing;thatshenolongerhadtherighttothesymbolicalwreathoforange—flowers;thatalmostbeforeshecouldreadshehadpenetratedthatredoubtablemysterywhichmothersscarcelyallowtheirdaughterstoguessat，tremblingastheyenlightenthemonthenightoftheirmarriage.

"Whenshewentthroughthestreets，alwaysaccompaniedbyhergoverness，asif，herparentsfearedsomefresh，terribleadventure，withhereyescastdownundertheloadofthatmysteriousdisgracewhichshefeltwasalwaysweighinguponher，theothergirls，whowerenotnearlysoinnocentaspeoplethought，whisperedandgiggledastheylookedatherknowingly，andimmediatelyturnedtheirheadsabsently，ifshehappenedtolookatthem.Peoplescarcelygreetedher;onlyafewmenbowedtoher，andthemotherspretendednottoseeher，whilesomeyoungblackguardscalledherMadameBaptiste，afterthenameofthefootmanwhohadattackedher.

"Nobodyknewthesecrettortureofhermind，forshehardlyeverspoke，andneverlaughed，andherparentsthemselvesappeareduncomfortableinherpresence，asiftheyboreheraconstantgrudgeforsomeirreparablefault.

"Anhonestmanwouldnotwillinglygivehishandtoaliberatedconvict，wouldhe，evenifthatconvictwerehisownson？AndMonsieurandMadameFontanellelookedontheirdaughterastheywouldhavedoneonasonwhohadjustbeenreleasedfromthehulks.Shewasprettyandpale，tall，slender，distinguished—looking，andshewouldhavepleasedmeverymuch，monsieur，butforthatunfortunateaffair.

"Well，whenanewsub—prefectwasappointedhere，eighteenmonthsago，hebroughthisprivatesecretarywithhim.Hewasaqueersortoffellow，whohadlivedintheLatinQuarter，itappears.HesawMademoiselleFontanelleandfellinlovewithher，andwhentoldofwhatoccurred，hemerelysaid：

’Bah！Thatisjustaguaranteeforthefuture，andIwouldratheritshouldhavehappenedbeforeImarriedherthanafterward.Ishalllivetranquillywiththatwoman.’

"Hepaidhisaddressestoher，askedforherhandandmarriedher，andthen，notbeingdeficientinassurance，hepaidweddingcalls，asifnothinghadhappened.Somepeoplereturnedthem，othersdidnot;but，atlast，theaffairbegantobeforgotten，andshetookherproperplaceinsociety.

"Sheadoredherhusbandasifhehadbeenagod;for，youmustremember，hehadrestoredhertohonorandtosociallife，hadbravedpublicopinion，facedinsults，and，inaword，performedsuchacourageousactasfewmenwouldundertake，andshefeltthemostexaltedandtenderloveforhim.

"Whenshebecameenceinte，anditwasknown，themostparticularpeopleandthegreateststicklersopenedtheirdoorstoher，asifshehadbeendefinitelypurifiedbymaternity.

"Itisstrange，butsoitis，andthuseverythingwasgoingonaswellaspossibleuntiltheotherday，whichwasthefeastofthepatronsaintofourtown.Theprefect，surroundedbyhisstaffandtheauthorities，presidedatthemusicalcompetition，andwhenhehadfinishedhisspeechthedistributionofmedalsbegan，whichPaulHamot，hisprivatesecretary，handedtothosewhowereentitledtothem.

"Asyouknow，therearealwaysjealousiesandrivalries，whichmakepeopleforgetallpropriety.Alltheladiesofthetownwerethereontheplatform，and，inhisturn，thebandmasterfromthevillageofMourmilloncameup.Thisbandwasonlytoreceiveasecond—classmedal，foronecannotgivefirst—classmedalstoeverybody，canone？Butwhentheprivatesecretaryhandedhimhisbadge，themanthrewitinhisfaceandexclaimed：

"’YoumaykeepyourmedalforBaptiste.Youowehimafirst—classone，also，justasyoudome.’

"Therewereanumberofpeopletherewhobegantolaugh.Thecommonherdareneithercharitablenorrefined，andeveryeyewasturnedtowardthatpoorlady.Haveyoueverseenawomangoingmad，monsieur？Well，wewerepresentatthesight！Shegotupandfellbackonherchairthreetimesinsuccession，asifshewishedtomakeherescape，butsawthatshecouldnotmakeherwaythroughthecrowd，andthenanothervoiceinthecrowdexclaimed：

"’Oh！Oh！MadameBaptiste！’

"Andagreatuproar，partlyoflaughterandpartlyofindignation，arose.

Thewordwasrepeatedoverandoveragain;peoplestoodontiptoetoseetheunhappywoman’sface;husbandsliftedtheirwivesupintheirarms，sothattheymightseeher，andpeopleasked：

"’Whichisshe？Theoneinblue？’

"Theboyscrowedlikecocks，andlaughterwasheardallovertheplace.

"Shedidnotmovenowonherstatechair，butsatjustasifshehadbeenputthereforthecrowdtolookat.Shecouldnotmove，norconcealherself，norhideherface.Hereyelidsblinkedquickly，asifavividlightwereshiningonthem，andshebreathedheavily，likeahorsethatisgoingupasteephill，sothatitalmostbrokeone’shearttoseeher.

Meanwhile，however，MonsieurHamothadseizedtheruffianbythethroat，andtheywererollingonthegroundtogether，amidasceneofindescribableconfusion，andtheceremonywasinterrupted.

"Anhourlater，astheHamotswerereturninghome，theyoungwoman，whohadnotutteredawordsincetheinsult，butwhowastremblingasifallhernerveshadbeensetinmotionbysprings，suddenlysprangovertheparapetofthebridgeandthrewherselfintotheriverbeforeherhusbandcouldpreventher.Thewaterisverydeepunderthearches，anditwastwohoursbeforeherbodywasrecovered.Ofcourse，shewasdead."

Thenarratorstoppedandthenadded：

"Itwas，perhaps，thebestthingshecoulddounderthecircumstances.

Therearesomethingswhichcannotbewipedout，andnowyouunderstandwhytheclergyrefusedtohavehertakenintochurch.Ah！Ifithadbeenareligiousfuneralthewholetownwouldhavebeenpresent，butyoucanunderstandthathersuicideaddedtotheotheraffairandmadefamiliesabstainfromattendingherfuneral;andthen，itisnotaneasymatterheretoattendafuneralwhichisperformedwithoutreligiousrites."

WepassedthroughthecemeterygatesandIwaited，muchmovedbywhatI

hadheard，untilthecoffinhadbeenloweredintothegrave，beforeI

wentuptothepoorfellowwhowassobbingviolently，topresshishandwarmly.Helookedatmeinsurprisethroughhistearsandthensaid：

"Thankyou，monsieur."AndIwasnotsorrythatIhadfollowedthefuneral.

THEQUESTIONOFLATIN

ThissubjectofLatinthathasbeendinnedintoourearsforsometimepastrecallstomymindastory——astoryofmyyouth.

Iwasfinishingmystudieswithateacher，inabigcentraltown，attheInstitutionRobineau，celebratedthroughtheentireprovinceforthespecialattentionpaidtheretothestudyofLatin.

Forthepasttenyears，theRobineauInstitutebeattheimperiallyceeofthetownateverycompetitiveexamination，andallthecollegesofthesubprefecture，andtheseconstantsuccessesweredue，theysaid，toanusher，asimpleusher，M.Piquedent，orratherPerePiquedent.

Hewasoneofthosemiddle—agedmenquitegray，whoserealageitisimpossibletotell，andwhosehistorywecanguessatfirstglance.

HavingenteredasanusherattwentyintothefirstinstitutionthatpresenteditselfsothathecouldproceedtotakefirsthisdegreeofMasterofArtsandafterwardthedegreeofDoctorofLaws，hefoundhimselfsoenmeshedinthisroutinethatheremainedanusherallhislife.ButhisloveforLatindidnotleavehimandharassedhimlikeanunhealthypassion.Hecontinuedtoreadthepoets，theprosewriters，thehistorians，tointerpretthemandpenetratetheirmeaning，tocommentonthemwithaperseveranceborderingonmadness.

Oneday，theideacameintohisheadtoobligeallthestudentsinhisclasstoanswerhiminLatinonly;andhepersistedinthisresolutionuntilatlasttheywerecapableofsustaininganentireconversationwithhimjustastheywouldintheirmothertongue.Helistenedtothem，asaleaderofanorchestralistenstohismusiciansrehearsing，andstrikinghisdeskeverymomentwithhisruler，heexclaimed：

"MonsieurLefrere，MonsieurLefrere，youarecommittingasolecism！Youforgettherule.

"MonsieurPlantel，yourwayofexpressingyourselfisaltogetherFrenchandinnowayLatin.Youmustunderstandthegeniusofalanguage.Lookhere，listentome."

Now，itcametopassthatthepupilsoftheInstitutionRobineaucarriedoff，attheendoftheyear，alltheprizesforcomposition，translation，andLatinconversation.

Nextyear，theprincipal，alittleman，ascunningasanape，whomheresembledinhisgrinningandgrotesqueappearance，hadhadprintedonhisprogrammes，onhisadvertisements，andpaintedonthedoorofhisinstitution：

"LatinStudiesaSpecialty.Fivefirstprizescarriedoffinthefiveclassesofthelycee.

"TwohonorprizesatthegeneralexaminationsincompetitionwithallthelyceesandcollegesofFrance."

FortenyearstheInstitutionRobineautriumphedinthesamefashion.

Nowmyfather，alluredbythesesuccesses，sentmeasadaypupiltoRobineau’s——or，aswecalledit，RobinettoorRobinettino’s——andmademetakespecialprivatelessonsfromPerePiquedentattherateoffivefrancsperhour，outofwhichtheushergottwofrancsandtheprincipalthreefrancs.Iwastheneighteen，andwasinthephilosophyclass.

Theseprivatelessonsweregiveninalittleroomlookingoutonthestreet.ItsohappenedthatPerePiquedent，insteadoftalkingLatintome，ashedidwhenteachingpubliclyintheinstitution，kepttellingmehistroublesinFrench.Withoutrelations，withoutfriends，thepoormanconceivedanattachmenttome，andpouredouthismiserytome.

Hehadneverforthelasttenorfifteenyearschattedconfidentiallywithanyone.

"Iamlikeanoakinadesert，"hesaid——"’sicutquercusinsolitudine’."

Theotherushersdisgustedhim.Heknewnobodyinthetown，sincehehadnotimetodevotetomakingacquaintances.

"Noteventhenights，myfriend，andthatisthehardestthingonme.

Thedreamofmylifeistohavearoomwithmyownfurniture，myownbooks，littlethingsthatbelongtomyselfandwhichothersmaynottouch.AndIhavenothingofmyown，nothingexceptmytrousersandmyfrock—coat，nothing，notevenmymattressandmypillow！Ihavenotfourwallstoshutmyselfupin，exceptwhenIcometogivealessoninthisroom.Doyouseewhatthismeans——amanforcedtospendhislifewithouteverhavingtheright，withouteverfindingthetime，toshuthimselfupallalone，nomatterwhere，tothink，toreflect，towork，todream？Ah！

mydearboy，akey，thekeyofadoorwhichonecanlock——thisishappiness，markyou，theonlyhappiness！

"Here，alldaylong，teachingallthoserestlessrogues，andduringthenightthedormitorywiththesamerestlessroguessnoring.AndIhavetosleepinthebedattheendoftworowsofbedsoccupiedbytheseyoungsterswhomImustlookafter.Icanneverbealone，never！IfIgooutIfindthestreetsfullofpeople，and，whenIamtiredofwalking，Igointosomecafecrowdedwithsmokersandbilliardplayers.Itellyouwhat，itisthelifeofagalleyslave."

Isaid：

"Whydidyounottakeupsomeotherline，MonsieurPiquedent？"

Heexclaimed：

"What，mylittlefriend？Iamnotashoemaker，orajoiner，orahatter，orabaker，orahairdresser.IonlyknowLatin，andIhavenodiplomawhichwouldenablemetosellmyknowledgeatahighprice.IfIwereadoctorIwouldsellforahundredfrancswhatInowsellforahundredsous;andIwouldsupplyitprobablyofaninferiorquality，formytitlewouldbeenoughtosustainmyreputation."

Sometimeshewouldsaytome：

"Ihavenorestinlifeexceptinthehoursspentwithyou.Don’tbeafraid！you’lllosenothingbythat.I’llmakeituptoyouintheclass—roombymakingyouspeaktwiceasmuchLatinastheothers."

Oneday，Igrewbolder，andofferedhimacigarette.Hestaredatmeinastonishmentatfirst，thenhegaveaglancetowardthedoor.

"Ifanyoneweretocomein，mydearboy？"

"Well，letussmokeatthewindow，"saidI.

Andwewentandleanedourelbowsonthewindowsilllookingonthestreet，holdingconcealedinourhandsthelittlerollspftobacco.

Justoppositetouswasalaundry.Fourwomeninloosewhitewaistswerepassinghot，heavyironsoverthelinenspreadoutbeforethem，fromwhichawarmsteamarose.

Suddenly，another，afifth，carryingonherarmalargebasketwhichmadeherstoop，cameouttotakethecustomerstheirshirts，theirhandkerchiefs，andtheirsheets.Shestoppedonthethresholdasifshewerealreadyfatigued;then，sheraisedhereyes，smiledasshesawussmoking，flungatus，withherlefthand，whichwasfree，theslykisscharacteristicofafree—and—easyworking—woman，andwentawayataslowplace，draggingherfeetasshewent.

Shewasawomanofabouttwenty，small，ratherthin，pale，ratherpretty，witharoguishairandlaughingeyesbeneathherill—combedfairhair.

PerePiquedent，affected，beganmurmuring：

"Whatanoccupationforawoman！Reallyatradeonlyfitforahorse."

Andhespokewithemotionaboutthemiseryofthepeople.Hehadaheartwhichswelledwithloftydemocraticsentiment，andhereferredtothefatiguingpursuitsoftheworkingclasswithphrasesborrowedfromJean—

JacquesRousseau，andwithsobsinhisthroat.

Nextday，aswewereleaningourelbowsonthesamewindowsill，thesamewomanperceivedusandcriedouttous：

"Good—day，scholars！"inacomicalsortoftone，whileshemadeacontemptuousgesturewithherhands.

Iflungheracigarette，whichsheimmediatelybegantosmoke.Andthefourotherironersrushedouttothedoorwithoutstretchedhandstogetcigarettesalso.

Andeachdayafriendlyintercoursewasestablishedbetweentheworking—

womenofthepavementandtheidlersoftheboardingschool.

PerePiquedentwasreallyacomicalsight.Hetrembledatbeingnoticed，forhemightlosehisposition;andhemadetimidandridiculousgestures，quiteatheatricaldisplayoflovesignals，towhichthewomenrespondedwitharegularfusilladeofkisses.

Aperfidiousideacameintomymind.Oneday，onenteringourroom，I

saidtotheoldusherinalowtone：

"Youwouldnotbelieveit，MonsieurPiquedent，Imetthelittlewasherwoman！YouknowtheoneImean，thewomanwhohadthebasket，andIspoketoher！"

Heasked，ratherworriedatmymanner：

"Whatdidshesaytoyou？"

"Shesaidtome——why，shesaidshethoughtyouwereverynice.Thefactofthematteris，Ibelieve，Ibelieve，thatsheisalittleinlovewithyou."Isawthathewasgrowingpale.

"Sheislaughingatme，ofcourse.Thesethingsdon’thappenatmyage，"

hereplied.

Isaidgravely：

"Howisthat？Youareallright."

AsIfeltthatmytrickhadproduceditseffectonhim，Ididnotpressthematter.

ButeverydayIpretendedthatIhadmetthelittlelaundressandthatI

hadspokentoherabouthim，sothatintheendhebelievedme，andsentherardentandearnestkisses.

Nowithappenedthatonemorning，onmywaytotheboardingschool，I

reallycameacrossher.Iaccostedherwithouthesitation，asifIhadknownherforthelasttenyears.

"Good—day，mademoiselle.Areyouquitewell？"

"Verywell，monsieur，thankyou."

"Willyouhaveacigarette？"

"Oh！notinthestreet."

"Youcansmokeitathome."

"Inthatcase，Iwill."

"Letmetellyou，mademoiselle，there’ssomethingyoudon’tknow."

"Whatisthat，monsieur？"

"Theoldgentleman——myoldprofessor，Imean——"

"PerePiquedent？"

"Yes，PerePiquedent.Soyouknowhisname？"

"Faith，Ido！Whatofthat？"

"Well，heisinlovewithyou！"

Sheburstoutlaughingwildly，andexclaimed：

"Youareonlyfooling."

"Oh！no，Iamnotfooling！Hekeepstalkingofyouallthroughthelesson.Ibetthathe’llmarryyou！

Sheceasedlaughing.Theideaofmarriagemakeseverygirlserious.

Thensherepeated，withanincredulousair：

"Thisishumbug！"

"Isweartoyou，it’strue."

Shepickedupherbasketwhichshehadlaiddownatherfeet.

"Well，we’llsee，"shesaid.Andshewentaway.

PresentlywhenIhadreachedtheboardingschool，ItookPerePiquedentaside，andsaid：

"Youmustwritetoher;sheisinfatuatedwithyou."

Andhewrotealongletter，tenderlyaffectionate，fullofphrasesandcircumlocutions，metaphorsandsimiles，philosophyandacademicgallantry;andItookonmyselftheresponsibilityofdeliveringittotheyoungwoman.

Shereaditwithgravity，withemotion;thenshemurmured：

"Howwellhewrites！Itiseasytoseehehasgoteducation！Doeshereallymeantomarryme？"

Irepliedintrepidly："Faith，hehaslosthisheadaboutyou！"

"ThenhemustinvitemetodinneronSundayattheIledesFleurs."

Ipromisedthatsheshouldbeinvited.

PerePiquedentwasmuchtouchedbyeverythingItoldhimabouther.

Iadded：

"Shelovesyou，MonsieurPiquedent，andIbelievehertobeadecentgirl.Itisnotrighttoleadheronandthenabandonher."

Herepliedinafirmtone：

"IhopeI，too，amadecentman，myfriend."

IconfessIhadatthetimenoplan.Iwasplayingapracticaljokeaschoolboyjoke，nothingmore.Ihadbeenawareofthesimplicityoftheoldusher，hisinnocenceandhisweakness.Iamusedmyselfwithoutaskingmyselfhowitwouldturnout.Iwaseighteen，andIhadbeenforalongtimelookeduponatthelyceeasaslypracticaljoker.

SoitwasagreedthatPerePiquedentandIshouldsetoutinahackfortheferryofQueuedeVache，thatweshouldtherepickupAngele，andthatIshouldtakethemintomyboat，forinthosedaysIwasfondofboating.IwouldthenbringthemtotheIledesFleurs，wherethethreeofuswoulddine.Ihadinflictedmyselfonthem，thebettertoenjoymytriumph，andtheusher，consentingtomyarrangement，provedclearlythathewaslosinghisheadbythusriskingthelossofhisposition.

Whenwearrivedattheferry，wheremyboathadbeenmooredsincemorning，Isawinthegrass，orratherabovethetallweedsofthebank，anenormousredparasol，resemblingamonstrouswildpoppy.BeneaththeparasolwasthelittlelaundressinherSundayclothes.Iwassurprised.

Shewasreallypretty，thoughpale;andgraceful，thoughwitharathersuburbangrace.

PerePiquedentraisedhishatandbowed.Sheputoutherhandtowardhim，andtheystaredatoneanotherwithoututteringaword.Thentheysteppedintomyboat，andItooktheoars.Theywereseatedsidebysidenearthestern.

Theusherwasthefirsttospeak.

"Thisisniceweatherforarowinaboat."

Shemurmured：

"Oh！yes."

Shedippedherhandintothewater，skimmingthesurface，makingathin，transparentfilmlikeasheetofglass，whichmadeasoftplashingalongthesideoftheboat.

Whentheywereintherestaurant，shetookitonherselftospeak，andordereddinner，friedfish，achicken，andsalad;thensheledusontowardtheisle，whichsheknewperfectly.

Afterthis，shewasgay，romping，andevenrathertantalizing.

Untildessert，noquestionoflovearose.Ihadtreatedthemtochampagne，andPerePiquedentwastipsy.Herselfslightlytheworse，shecalledouttohim：

"MonsieurPiquenez."

Hesaidabruptly：

"Mademoiselle，MonsieurRaoulhascommunicatedmysentimentstoyou."

Shebecameasseriousasajudge.

"Yes，monsieur."

"Whatisyourreply？"

"Weneverreplytothesequestions！"

Hepuffedwithemotion，andwenton：

"Well，willthedayevercomethatyouwilllikeme？"

Shesmiled.

"Youbigstupid！Youareverynice."

"Inshort，mademoiselle，doyouthinkthat，lateron，wemight——"

Shehesitatedasecond;theninatremblingvoiceshesaid：

"Doyoumeantomarrymewhenyousaythat？Foronnoothercondition，youknow."

"Yes，mademoiselle！"

"Well，that’sallright，MonsieurPiquedent！"

Itwasthusthatthesetwosillycreaturespromisedmarriagetoeachotherthroughthetrickofayoungscamp.ButIdidnotbelievethatitwasserious，nor，indeed，didthey，perhaps.

"Youknow，Ihavenothing，notfoursous，，"shesaid.

Hestammered，forhewasasdrunkasSilenus：

"Ihavesavedfivethousandfrancs."

Sheexclaimedtriumphantly：

"Thenwecansetupinbusiness？"

Hebecamerestless.

"Inwhatbusiness？"

"WhatdoIknow？Weshallsee.Withfivethousandfrancswecoulddomanythings.Youdon’twantmetogoandliveinyourboardingschool，doyou？"

Hehadnotlookedforwardsofarasthis，andhestammeredingreatperplexity：

"Whatbusinesscouldwesetupin？Thatwouldnotdo，forallIknowisLatin！"

Shereflectedinherturn，passinginreviewallherbusinessambitions.

"Youcouldnotbeadoctor？"

"No，Ihavenodiploma."

"Orachemist？"

"Nomorethantheother."

Sheutteredacryofjoy.Shehaddiscoveredit.

"Thenwe’llbuyagrocer’sshop！Oh！whatluck！we’llbuyagrocer’sshop.Notonabigscale，ofcourse;withfivethousandfrancsonedoesnotgofar."

Hewasshockedatthesuggestion.

"No，Ican’tbeagrocer.Iam——Iam——toowellknown：IonlyknowLatin，thatisallIknow."

Butshepouredaglassofchampagnedownhisthroat.Hedrankitandwassilent.