下载辰思小说免费APP
Whatcouldfourteendayshavedonetobringherfromthatstatetothis？
Torealisewhattheymeantbysayingthatshehadachanceoflifewasbeyondhim，knowingashedidthattheywereengaged。Heturned，stillenvelopedinthesamedrearymist，andwalkedtowardsthedoor。
Suddenlyhesawitall。Hesawtheroomandthegarden，andthetreesmovingintheair，theycouldgoonwithouther；shecoulddie。
Forthefirsttimesinceshefellillherememberedexactlywhatshelookedlikeandthewayinwhichtheycaredforeachother。
Theimmensehappinessoffeelingherclosetohimmingledwithamoreintenseanxietythanhehadfeltyet。Hecouldnotletherdie；
hecouldnotlivewithouther。Butafteramomentarystruggle，thecurtainfellagain，andhesawnothingandfeltnothingclearly。
Itwasallgoingon——goingonstill，inthesamewayasbefore。
Saveforaphysicalpainwhenhisheartbeat，andthefactthathisfingerswereicycold，hedidnotrealisethathewasanxiousaboutanything。WithinhismindheseemedtofeelnothingaboutRacheloraboutanyoneoranythingintheworld。Hewentongivingorders，arrangingwithMrs。Chailey，writingoutlists，andeverynowandthenhewentupstairsandputsomethingquietlyonthetableoutsideRachel’sdoor。ThatnightDr。Lesageseemedtobelesssulkythanusual。
Hestayedvoluntarilyforafewmoments，and，addressingSt。JohnandTerenceequally，asifhedidnotrememberwhichofthemwasengagedtotheyounglady，said，“Iconsiderthatherconditionto-nightisverygrave。“
Neitherofthemwenttobedorsuggestedthattheothershouldgotobed。
Theysatinthedrawing-roomplayingpicquetwiththedooropen。
St。Johnmadeupabeduponthesofa，andwhenitwasreadyinsistedthatTerenceshouldlieuponit。Theybegantoquarrelastowhoshouldlieonthesofaandwhoshouldlieuponacoupleofchairscoveredwithrugs。St。JohnforcedTerenceatlasttoliedownuponthesofa。
“Don’tbeafool，Terence，“hesaid。“You’llonlygetillifyoudon’tsleep。“
“Oldfellow，“hebegan，asTerencestillrefused，andstoppedabruptly，fearingsentimentality；hefoundthathewasonthevergeoftears。
Hebegantosaywhathehadlongbeenwantingtosay，thathewassorryforTerence，thathecaredforhim，thathecaredforRachel。
Didsheknowhowmuchhecaredforher——hadshesaidanything，askedperhaps？Hewasveryanxioustosaythis，butherefrained，thinkingthatitwasaselfishquestionafterall，andwhatwastheuseofbotheringTerencetotalkaboutsuchthings？
Hewasalreadyhalfasleep。ButSt。Johncouldnotsleepatonce。
Ifonly，hethoughttohimself，ashelayinthedarkness，somethingwouldhappen——ifonlythisstrainwouldcometoanend。
Hedidnotmindwhathappened，solongasthesuccessionofthesehardanddrearydayswasbroken；hedidnotmindifshedied。
Hefelthimselfdisloyalinnotmindingit，butitseemedtohimthathehadnofeelingsleft。
Allnightlongtherewasnocallormovement，excepttheopeningandshuttingofthebedroomdooronce。Bydegreesthelightreturnedintotheuntidyroom。Atsixtheservantsbegantomove；
atseventheycreptdownstairsintothekitchen；andhalfanhourlaterthedaybeganagain。
Neverthelessitwasnotthesameasthedaysthathadgonebefore，althoughitwouldhavebeenhardtosayinwhatthedifferenceconsisted。
Perhapsitwasthattheyseemedtobewaitingforsomething。
Therewerecertainlyfewerthingstobedonethanusual。Peopledriftedthroughthedrawing-room——Mr。Flushing，Mr。andMrs。Thornbury。
Theyspokeveryapologeticallyinlowtones，refusingtositdown，butremainingforaconsiderabletimestandingup，althoughtheonlythingtheyhadtosaywas，“Isthereanythingwecando？“andtherewasnothingtheycoulddo。
Feelingoddlydetachedfromitall，TerencerememberedhowHelenhadsaidthatwheneveranythinghappenedtoyouthiswashowpeoplebehaved。
Wassheright，orwasshewrong？Hewastoolittleinterestedtoframeanopinionofhisown。Heputthingsawayinhismind，asifoneofthesedayshewouldthinkaboutthem，butnotnow。
