The Voyage Out

第55章

thirteen,fourteen,andsoonuntiltheyreachthetwenties,andthenthethirties,andthentheforties。Sherealisedthatthereisnothingtopreventnightsfromdoingthisiftheychoose。

Atagreatdistanceanelderlywomansatwithherheadbentdown;

Rachelraisedherselfslightlyandsawwithdismaythatshewasplayingcardsbythelightofacandlewhichstoodinthehollowofanewspaper。

Thesighthadsomethinginexplicablysinisteraboutit,andshewasterrifiedandcriedout,uponwhichthewomanlaiddownhercardsandcameacrosstheroom,shadingthecandlewithherhands。

Comingnearerandneareracrossthegreatspaceoftheroom,shestoodatlastaboveRachel’sheadandsaid,“Notasleep?

Letmemakeyoucomfortable。“

Sheputdownthecandleandbegantoarrangethebedclothes。

ItstruckRachelthatawomanwhosatplayingcardsinacavernallnightlongwouldhaveverycoldhands,andsheshrunkfromthetouchofthem。

“Why,there’satoeallthewaydownthere!“thewomansaid,proceedingtotuckinthebedclothes。Racheldidnotrealisethatthetoewashers。

“Youmusttryandliestill,“sheproceeded,“becauseifyouliestillyouwillbelesshot,andifyoutossaboutyouwillmakeyourselfmorehot,andwedon’twantyoutobeanyhotterthanyouare。“

ShestoodlookingdownuponRachelforanenormouslengthoftime。

“Andthequieteryouliethesooneryouwillbewell,“sherepeated。

Rachelkepthereyesfixeduponthepeakedshadowontheceiling,andallherenergywasconcentrateduponthedesirethatthisshadowshouldmove。Buttheshadowandthewomanseemedtobeeternallyfixedaboveher。Sheshuthereyes。Whensheopenedthemagainseveralmorehourshadpassed,butthenightstilllastedinterminably。

Thewomanwasstillplayingcards,onlyshesatnowinatunnelunderariver,andthelightstoodinalittlearchwayinthewallaboveher。Shecried“Terence!“andthepeakedshadowagainmovedacrosstheceiling,asthewomanwithanenormousslowmovementrose,andtheybothstoodstillaboveher。

“It’sjustasdifficulttokeepyouinbedasitwastokeepMr。Forrestinbed,“thewomansaid,“andhewassuchatallgentleman。“

InordertogetridofthisterriblestationarysightRachelagainshuthereyes,andfoundherselfwalkingthroughatunnelundertheThames,wheretherewerelittledeformedwomensittinginarchwaysplayingcards,whilethebricksofwhichthewallwasmadeoozedwithdamp,whichcollectedintodropsandsliddownthewall。

ButthelittleoldwomenbecameHelenandNurseMcInnisafteratime,standinginthewindowtogetherwhispering,whisperingincessantly。

Meanwhileoutsideherroomthesounds,themovements,andthelivesoftheotherpeopleinthehousewentonintheordinarylightofthesun,throughouttheusualsuccessionofhours。When,onthefirstdayofherillness,itbecameclearthatshewouldnotbeabsolutelywell,forhertemperaturewasveryhigh,untilFriday,thatdaybeingTuesday,Terencewasfilledwithresentment,notagainsther,butagainsttheforceoutsidethemwhichwasseparatingthem。

Hecountedupthenumberofdaysthatwouldalmostcertainlybespoiltforthem。Herealised,withanoddmixtureofpleasureandannoyance,that,forthefirsttimeinhislife,hewassodependentuponanotherpersonthathishappinesswasinherkeeping。

Thedayswerecompletelywastedupontrifling,immaterialthings,forafterthreeweeksofsuchintimacyandintensityalltheusualoccupationswereunbearablyflatandbesidethepoint。TheleastintolerableoccupationwastotalktoSt。JohnaboutRachel’sillness,andtodiscusseverysymptomanditsmeaning,and,whenthissubjectwasexhausted,todiscussillnessofallkinds,andwhatcausedthem,andwhatcuredthem。

TwiceeverydayhewentintositwithRachel,andtwiceeverydaythesamethinghappened。Ongoingintoherroom,whichwasnotverydark,wherethemusicwaslyingaboutasusual,andherbooksandletters,hisspiritsroseinstantly。Whenhesawherhef

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